OK guys now comes the real question. Why are mormons (The Church

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bumpity bumpity

>>686164655
I've met a few mormons. Holy shit, they were the most awkward and cringe inducing people I met.

>>686164797
Same here, a lot of them of them are pretty wacko, but you don't see any of them shooting schools or raping.

>>686165078
or rapping for that matter

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Come on guys, y'all now know the only and true religion.

They're really some of the nicest people Ive met. More nicer than other christians.

>>686164655
They are not. Also atheists are not religious. Athiesm literally means non-thiesm..

I remember hat they let us use their installations when i was a kid and wanted to play basketball, but we had to attend one of their sessions, I didn't understand shit since I didn't care, but those fuckers wanted to convert me.

>>686165610
I know anon-kun, but I was trying to fit all that into a sentence I'll tr better next time m8.

>>686165742
did they?

>>686165930
nah, I was pretty atheist by then, I just reeaaaaaally wanted to play basket ball.

I'm married to a Mormon . Their only goal is to convert others. They were all really nice to me until they realized I had no intention of ever joining their church. After I told them I would join if they could explain to me how it took God 2000 years to remember that beer and tea were forbidden not one of them has spoken to me

Their basis of religion is based on shit, they believe that black people are descended from Cain and that their skin is the result of their sin. That's pretty fucked up

>>686166233
Damn, how the marriage going? Any religion difference or arguments based on believes? Also what religion are you in, if any?

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They are all faggots if you ask me

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Now they want a mormon president

>>686166431
The marriage is going so so. . I grew up Catholic but I abandoned that by the time I was in 8th grade. She came from a really messed up family. If she grew up in one of those typical Mormon families it would be different. I mostly stayed because I want my kids to have a stable influence in their lives

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I used to live in Plano, and they were a goddamned PLAGUE there. They'd hang out at the shopping malls and target anyone who was by themselves.

They were very highly trained pests: anything you said to them, they had a response to parrot back instantly.

There were places I quit going because I knew there would be two dumbasses wearing ties and riding bikes, and I just got sick of it.

>>686167185
Is she hot at least? How's bed? I heard they can be sex freaks or pretty lame.

>>686166233
Same here actually. My girl's family is kinda nuts and don't like me at all. Year after we got together she dropped the cult.

>>686164655
> Mormons are christian.
lol the only thing op knows about mormons is what it saw on one of those mormon propaganda commercials.

>>686167761
Does you gf's family not hate you for her dropping the cult?

>>686167655
She was babtised as a kid but then her family life went to shit. She was a complete slit as a teen. I met her at 19. Still loves sex. She's a swallower and squirts like a fountain. Even from anal. She was stripper hot when I met her. She's porked up over the years but still hassle nice 40dds

>>686168019
wtf, are not christians?

>>686168113
They pretty much blackballed us. Even told her brothers and sisters that she was bad. Her Aunt and Uncle are still really friendly but everyone else not so much. I was threatened with the FBI for kidnapping and brainwashing actually.

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Fuck!!

I used to go out with a Mormon girl, she was one of the kinkiest, horny chicks I've ever been with. Never actually let me fuck her but did everything else, including letting me fuck her ass. She was a smoking hot redhead with a great ass and squirted like a porn star, sadly she moved away a few years ago to marry some Mormon dude and start squeezing out kids. Good times.

>>686169529
Haha now this I can attest too. I have done some of the kinkiest shit. They are just like any pent up church girl.

>>686167166
why the fuck do they keep food in their storage ?

>>686170346
Idk, the rapture?

>>686168019
they're christian actually. They just believe Jesus isn't the last prophet, that there were some more after him.

>>686166254
Converting to mormon.

>>686170346
because it is an american corporation, and in america if there was ever a widespread catastrophe that affected more than 25% of the country there would be no way to actually begin disaster relief, mormons believe that this is going to happen soon, as in within currently living members lifetimes. so they believe in self sufficiency.

>>686170758
They also believe that Native Americans are descended from the Jews that left after the destruction of the temple in Jerusalem and that there are different tiers of heaven and only Mormons go to the top. Other Christians are in tier 2

>>686171500
continuing in this thought, "The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints" is not a church, it is a corporation. When you are baptized you sign paperwork that allows the church to claim you as a member of the corporation and they used those membership numbers to buy the church out of debt from the US gov't in the late 1890's early 1900's.

>>686171790
wow, didn't know that, interesting

>>686171097
well, i mean, you can believe that without becoming mormon

>>686171790
It is not a christian (as in believing in Christ) entity. it is a corporate entity and the thing they worship is money and prestige. go anywhere prosperous mormons gather and you'll see how they compete with each other to have the biggest houses and nicest cars.

>>686172080
I lived as a mormon for 21 years and served my mission. I knew that the networking capabilities of being an active member were powerful, but when i decided that i couldn't live with the hypocrisy i left.

>>686164655

They're always rich as fuck

>>686168949
Joseph Smith knew how to live.

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these crazy cunts

Give them 50-100 years
They'll be Jews 2.0

>>686165078
You never hear about them raping because the strong family values are good at keeping their daughters quiet.

Also, I would take a more cynical and realistic approach to life than a blissful sheltered one. It's more productive to spiritual growth.

>>686172767
because morality is a grey thing to them, they lie and cheat each other all day long but then go to church on sunday eat the sacrament and absolve themselves of sin. look at the founder of the church, he was a liar, a sex criminal, a con-man, and probably a murderer. look at the prominent members now. Corporate shills, hedge-fund managers worse than any jew, presiding over ponzi schemes and MLM's.

>>686164655
do they have a special pocket for dick?

>>686173395
kek, idk.

>>686173226
this is accurate but taken out of context and grossly over simplified.

>>686173255
kek

>>686164655
All athiests are same just like all anericans are fat

>>686173395
they're just like any other underwear, they have a flap you can open to pull your dick through to piss.

shity

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>all other religions
>atheism

>>686165078
you obviously know nothing of the history of the religion. the govt. made them give up polygamy. up untill that point the mormon church was all about how many 12 year olds an old man could keep in his harem.

>>686165474
Try working for them. Lot of the are Jack Mormons, they only follow the tenents of their faith if they have to, which is normally a mormon superior looking down their nose at the offender...

>>686173896
the good ol days when they kept the blacks out and fucked each others underage daughters

>>686173226
so they changed their doctrine because, of pc and now niggers could get into Heaven? it's just pc, they could not.

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>>686168561
Isnt it great when the fucking mormons accuse you for brainwashing?

>>686173255
I am good with it. White jews it is what we need.

>>686173896
the US Gov't seized their assets and dissolved them as an organization, the then president of the church reorganized it as a corporation and sold future member tithing to the gov't to get it back.

>>686167351
Mormonism is the CULT of the latterday pedobears...

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Lets rock this guys!!

>>686174489
So 90% of faggots here will sign up tomorrow, fuck!!

>>686174531
one of the tenets of mormonism is
"We believe the Bible to be the word of God as far as it is translated correctly."

>>686164655

Question presupposes that Mormons possess the superior religion.

>>686174780
OP is a faggot presupposes anything he posts, it was just a conversation starter.

>>686166233
>tea were forbidden not one of them has spoken to me

Nice, who got drunk and decided to add that in for the power??

I'm addicted to tea though, so I could see how it would be forbidden. You touch my tea and I'll go to the bottom of the ocean and get real crusty with the land peasants.

>>686175021
kek

>>686175021
the word of wisdom (what you are referring to) is not actually a commandment from god, it is more of a guideline to protect yourself from consuming things en masse that are harmful. Current Membership has elevated this to more than it is.

>>686173159

First white gangster in history, he knew what was up before Italians and blacks got into the game.

fucking white people man

I'm a Mormon.

>>686175252
I can tell, you contribute nothing.

>>686175337
It's because this site is naughty.

>>686175252
you piece of shit you're ruining this world!! Also tell me how to get more wives... I can barely keep up with one.

>>686175330
they just lowered the missionary age because too many young mormons were deciding in the year between high school and mission time that it was bullshit.

>>686175206
>guideline to protect yourself from consuming things en masse that are harmful

Yea they're probably saying tea because of the caffeine in it not actually tea.

It's a joke whore

>>686175454
We don't practice polygamy, if you're serious. How are we ruining the world?

>>686175595
>a joke
not a very good one.

>>686175597
Damn, i really wanted another wife, that's how your ruining the world, by not getting more wives!!

>>686173226
Mormon here. This is way out out context.

>>686175767

what, do Mormons not have comedians?

>>686175996
>>686175252
if you're actually believers in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints then why do you continue to sustain the current church leadership despite it's self serving interests and failure to help those in need? Why don't you take the priesthood authority that has been granted to you and seek to observe God yourself and find out from the horses mouth what you are to do?

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So hawt so sexy much wow

>>686176357
yeah but they're actually funny. The improv troupe at BYU is top notch for a university in the west.

>>686176458
We pay a tithe and a fast offering that helps relieve countries that suffer from natural disasters, we have a job force that hires those less fortunate to get them on their feet (rarely they are members of the church), and we have created Welfare Square in Utah. Also while I was on my mission, I mostly built houses for native Indians and create a safe drinking water system.

>>686176715

Jokes on you bro, it wasn't a joke but a reference to history when people got mad over tea and not about Mormons either.

"the more you know"

>>686164655
atheism isn't a religion you sack of shit

>>686176964
no you pay a tithe that goes into an investment fund that pays for multibillion dollar malls and housing developments to keep the poor out of SLC and to pay the 'modest' 6 figure stipends of the church leadership.

>>686177151
All of the church leaders have jobs, are well off, and we cover their funds to travel in order to help keep the church running in other countries.

>>686176977
>bro
are you ten? you know this is a website for adults right?
>the more you know
you sound like you know nothing Eliza Snow

I am actually a member and i served a mission as well in the south.

>>686177151
Also, if you're from Salt Lake then you'd know it's a complete shit hole ran by gangs.

>>686177356
if you actually believe this, you need to read more. the church leadership just spent millions trading millions of dollars worth of condo's to each other downtown that they couldn't sell.

>>686177572
Sauce?

>>686177537
the corporate church is a gang.
and city creek is their hood

>>686164655
Clearly OP doesn't live in Idaho or Utah.

>>686177753
Except there's no drugs out killings. Damn Mormons!

>>686177698
I don't have to spoon-feed you, get on the Utah corporations website and start looking up properties previously owned by the investment arm of the church (PRI I think) and track down who owns them now. (You should know about 80ish of the names already.)

>>686164655
Former Mormon here. It's because the religion is literally about personal perfection, and Mormon families will give their left nut to preserve the image of perfection.

>>686177395
>you know this is a website for adults right?

Have you seen the porn?

The fuck kind of Mormon are you?

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>>686177872
no they just pushed the drugs and the killing somewhere else so they didn't have to see it on their way into work at the big concrete dick.

>>686178074
Wouldn't that make sense since Mormons founded Utah? I'd be willing to bet the Catholics own a lot overseas. Including the Mob at one point.

>>686178279
Image of perfection != perfection

>>686178305
i'm not a mormon, i said that already. you haven't been paying attention, typical kid. go grow up somewhere else.

>>686164655
To see the real damage Mormonism does to a person emotionally, check out the stories on /r/exmormon. It's an abusive cult, even though the members are obsessively "nice."

>>686178279
Sorry you feel that way. I'm far from perfect. After all, I'm hanging around this site.

>>686178507
Yeah it gets pretty bad. I grew up in Tremonton. The small towns are way worse than SLC

>>686178351
i'm not saying it doesn't make sense. i'm just saying that if you truly want to understand what your organization is doing with your tithing, you need to be more discerning about your dominion. The church used to rule by common voice and consent, and i don't know many mormons who would rather build a multibillion dollar mall than help poor people. do you believe that god will excuse your ignorance on the day of judgement?

>>686178780
Do any hunting around there?

>>686171790
Actually the presiding corporation is called "The Corporation of the President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints." The one you're referring to was disbanded by the US govt around 1900 and never formally reinstated.

>>686172284
Also that corporation is the largest private land owner in the US, as well as several states (such as Florida)

>>686178958
you have that backwards. it was organized that way so that the gov't would allow them to continue to exist.

>>686178924
Nah, grew up poorfag as fuck. My extended family is pretty well off, but they are Mormon and we aren't soooooooooo

>>686178840
If you're right, it's better building the church than having our government use it to murder people. I freely give my church money to help build it.

>>686178494
>go grow up somewhere else.

My life education comes from this website. I'm not a very bright person so tone down the condescending replies.

>>686174772
Translation: We believe the Bible to be the Word of God, except when we want to ignore it.

>>686164655
Athiesm isnt a religion you idiot.

>>686179377
you still haven't answered my question, Why you haven't sought gods presence yourself to find out personally what you should do. The directions are all in the Doctrine and Covenants.

>>686178592
>Sorry you feel that way.
Literally the worst phrase. Not an apology, not empathetic, just a flat fuck you.

>>686174772
Bible translation is crucial. For example, hour was Jesus baptized? Fully submerged under water, or with water sprinkled on top of his head?

>>686179383
it shows. i'm sorry your parents left you alone. i'll hope for your life to be better than it is now.

>>686179210
Right but it's all under the President umbrella now is the point.

>>686179400
i believe that was the implication yes...
but it's no different from anyone else who has supposed scriptural documentation for their religious organization.

>>686179720
I'd be wasting my breath here to you, but I'll say it anyway. I found the church when I was 18. I prayed, studied, and felt this was the right path. I've seen the power of God and the Priesthood power in my life. Men cited of malaria, another brought back to life, and things only you'd read about in the bible. Miracles!

>>686180140
I meant to say men cured

>>686179910

I bet you groom that mustache every time you use the bathroom, don't you fella.

>>686180140
they aren't miracles. it's man's ability to affect his environment. and even if they are, it isn't the Corporate Church that showed those things to you. it is god, if he exists, and if he does then why don't you want to meet him yourself?

>>686180370
i was being genuine, if your entire education has come from the 4chins i can only assume you have no one taking care of you and that hurts my heart.

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>>686168181
This sounds like my dreamwoman.

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>>686164655
They have a lot to hide. It's all just a ruse, dear summer child. It's all just a ruse.

>>686180489
And I believe I've had that manifestation and sure answer that God is heading this church, through a modern day prophet, and 12 apostles as he did in the bible.

>>686176268
Considering the general acceptance of abortion by the majority of atheists, I'd say no.

>>686164655
My sister's best friend in high school came from a Mormon family.
> friend is a crack whore
> her older brother knocked up several chicks and owes a ton of child support
> younger brother is on trial for attempted murder.

>>686180850
you believe... in a time when your calling and election can be made sure. Joseph Smith showed you the way and you come at me with feelings and platitudes. You think God will excuse this kind of laziness?
Where is the revelation that Brigham Young was to be the Prophet?

>>686180661

I bet you like your coffee black with few sprinkles for taste and your jokes heavy with innuendos.

>>686181273
I don't drink coffee, I'm more a beer for brekkers kind of guy. And i like my jokes the way anyone else does, Witty and Substantial.

It's the magic underwear

>>686181210
Since biblical times, the senior apostle takes over the position of the modern day prophet. Therefore Brigham Young was called. The Apostles actually argued about it, as will add Joseph Smith's family. But they followed that doctrine.

>>686180775
Why did every single one of Joseph Smith's apostles recanthim on their death bed?

Why don't the Indian tribes of NA and Israeli tribes have matching genetics?

>>686181489
>And i like my jokes the way anyone else does, Witty and Substantial.

George Carlin?

>>686181627
umm where is that true? in the ancient church when the prophet died the prophet was dead until a new one was called. Brigham Young was meant to act as president of the church leading with the twelve apostles until Joseph Smith's son was old enough to be called, when that was no longer an option. Brigham Young assumed the mantle of Prophecy without authorization and the LDS Church has been Apostatic ever since.

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>>686173398
DO NOT READ THIS LINK IF YOU ARE AN ACTIVE MORMON. I was a Mormon and read this. Now I'm a based athiest. Fuck yeah

http://cesletter.com/

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>>686181627
>Since biblical times, the senior apostle takes over the position of the modern day prophet. Therefore Brigham Young was called. The Apostles actually argued about it, as will add Joseph Smith's family. But they followed that doctrine.

No doctrine in D&C or Bible or Book or Mormon. Its a fallacy you were taught in sunday school.

>>686182039
most comedians are hacks. the funniest person i know is a chef.

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>>686181654
If they recanted him, it was because he was a charlatan.

They do have matching genetics. All life on earth has some percentage of matching genetics.

>>686182425
this guy knows

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>>686182547
Fuck yeah i do. 40+ years as a Mormon. Mission, temple marriage, elders quorum pres, and all that shit.

So glad to get out. MUCH HAPPIER!!!

>>686182162
Peter took over the church after Christ's death. He was first called to be an apostle. The church runs by a Priesthood power and keys, as did the church of old. Basic Mormon doctrine it's that without that power, authority, and priesthood keys, one cannot run the church. It was never planned by Joseph Smith that the church be run by his lineage. His wife thought different and left the church.

>>686182429
>i know is a chef.

post plz or full name, no idea who that is.

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>>686182778
Joseph left no succession plan. Nothing in the D&C about Brigham being prophet. Several splinter groups after Smith died. Check out James Strang and the Strangites.

>house of order my ass...

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>>686164655
>2016
>not having sex with Jesus

Inferior.

Honestly. I don't have to keep explaining myself of why I follow this church. I couldn't care less if my fellow anons join or not. The fact of the matter is that I've studied, prayed, and have found the church for me. I truly believe this is God's church. I believe I received my answer from God and that's all that matters to me. Note. I have my church keeping me get through college, my community helps me, and I've always been taught to help others and always be an example. I'll teach my kids the same so they can be good people and let them choose their own path.

>>686182778
peter took over as president of the church not prophet and still look where that ended up with the catholics. not even a generation later and they were Apostatic as well, why do you think the mormons are any better? You still are only showing me the most cursory of religious education. Have you read the D&C? Do you know how the Church of Jesus Christ is actually supposed to be managed?

>grew up in SoCal
>lots of mormons in my town
>K-6 all of them are wearing Choose The Right rings, church every sunday, in bed by 8 etc etc
>middle school everyone is going to seminary or whatever at like 2am
>make pilgrimage to utah every chance they get
>high school a few of them have a drink at a party
>"you guys please don't tell my parents omg i'm going to hell"
>by college at least 30% of them are alcoholics, drug addicts, in rehab, and/or dead
>most of the rest went on mission trips and got married before cranking out like six kids

>>686182782
he is no one, literally just a chef. people who try to be funny professionally are just overcompensating for whatever horrible shit they endured growing up.

>>686183337
so why don't you meet god yourself and find out?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3BqLZ8UoZk

>>686183337
>>686183611
it's because you are scared that you've actually wasted so much time and effort on something that is actually inconsequential. If God is there he will be as disappointed in you as he will be with the man who buried his masters talent and did not use it to further the kingdom.

>>686183417
kek

>>686183517
Damn smartest thing on /b/ today

>>686175227
Implying the crusades weren't gangster

>>686185836

Nay, the crusades were Napoleonic. Wasn't about bitches, just about domination.