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Offensive jokes thread! Hit me up /b/ros

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 66
Thread images: 11

Offensive jokes thread! Hit me up /b/ros
>>
what did the black kid say to his parents when he got diarrhea

"mommy daddy i'm melting"
>>
You
>>
>>686108232
Impossible his dad must have left

What type of child has no friends A colinebine survior
>>
What's the difference between a bucket full of shit and a nigger?

The difference is the bucket.
>>
>>686108232
>daddy

I call bullshit
>>
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>>686108474
his father must beat him
>>
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>>686108024
>>
What has five arms, two feet and three legs?
The Boston marathon finish line.
>>
>>686108024
> How many jews can you hold in a car ?
Depends if the ashtray is empty or not.
>>
>>686108389
>underrated offensive joke
Though I believe the real joke started with his birth.
>>
Why was the boy crying?
>I ran over his legs

Why did he stop?
>Reversed onto his head
>>
>What's black on top and white at the bottom?

Rape
>>
>What's the difference between a jew and a pizza?
The pizza won't scream in the oven.
>>
>>686109161

What has four black legs and one black arm?

A happy Doberman Pinscher.
>>
What do you get when you mix a 14 year old boy, and the sense of humor of a woman? I don't know either but that fucker posts in offensive joke threads.
>>
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>>686108024
>>
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>>686108703
>>
Why do they have glass bins in Detroit? So niggers can go window shopping
>>
What's the difference between white jews and black jews?
-Black jews have to go to the back of the oven

What runs along walls and kills jews?
-Gas lines

Why does the Mexican Olympic team suck so bad?
-All the Mexicans who can run jump or swim are in the USA

Why do Mexican women wear long dresses?
-To hide the fly paper strips

How do you get a Mexican woman pregnant?
-Cum in her shoe and let the flies do the work.

What's ten feet long and rests on top of a pile of shit?
-A turban

Why do Arab high schools hold sex ed and driving classes on different days?
-Otherwise the camel gets too tired

What's the unluckiest call in an Iraqi bingo hall?
-B52
>>
>>686110219

Why did all the niggers move to Detroit?

They heard there were no jobs there.
>>
Why does a gorilla always have a frown? Because in ten million years it will be a nigger.
>>
>>686110311
How do you make a nigger starve to death? By hiding his foodstamps under his work boots.
>>
The most difficult thing about being a pedophile is trying to fit in.
>>
1_What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer? I give a fuck when my computer crashes.
2_My Grandpa said, "Your generation relies too much on technology!" I replied, "No, your generation relies too much on technology!" Then I unplugged his life support.
3_What do you call a five year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor.
4_Jesus Christ fed 2,000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish, but Adolf Hitler made 6 million Jews toast.
5_What's the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.
6_What's got 5 arms, 3 legs and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon. 7_What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? GLOVES! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.
8_How do Ethiopians celebrate their kids first birthday? By putting flowers on the grave.
9_How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her? She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles.
10_How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes start piling up.
>>
11_Why do Mexicans never have Sex Ed. and Driver's Ed. on the same day? They have to give the donkey a break at some point.
12_Feminism
13_So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back… Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.
14_Most black 15 year-olds in this country are decent, law abiding citizens. It's their kids who cause all the trouble.
15_How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Don't be stupid, feminists can't change anything.
16_What is a pedophiles favorite part about Halloween? Free delivery.
17_So I painted my laptop black, hoping it would run faster… Now it doesn't work.
18_How do you kill a redneck? Wait 'till he fucks his sister then cut the brakes on his house.
19_What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer? Freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
20_What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing you already done told her twice.
>>
What does global warming, the Holocaust and women's rights have in common? They're all bullshit.
>>
>>686110321
kek'd
>>
21_How do you fit 4 queers on a barstool? Flip it upside-down.
22_Why do Jews have big noses? Because air is free.
23_What happened when the jew walked into the wall with a hard-on? He broke his nose.
24_How long does it take for a black woman to take a shit? Nine months.
25_How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up like an altarboy.
26_What do you call 40 mexicans buried up to their neck in sand? A spicket fence.
27_How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None,they just sit in the dark and bitch.
28_Did you hear about the two car pile up in Mexico? 200 Mexicans died.
29_What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A pedophile.
30_What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game? Before the First Period.
>>
>>686108024
What is the opposite of Christopher Walkin?
Christopher Reeves.
>>
31_How do you swat 200 flies at one time? Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.
32_What is a redneck virgin? A seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.
33_How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? One, she just holds the bulb to the socket and waits for the world to revolve around her.
34_Girls are like blackjack… I'm trying to go for 21 but I always hit on 14.
35_Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand up.
36_Did you hear the Score of the Egypt vs Ethiopia soccer game? Egypt 8, Ethiopia didn't.
37_How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? They don't. They arrest the bulb for being broke and beat the room for being black.
38_What's 9 inches long, pink, and makes my girlfriend scream when I put it in her mouth? Her miscarriage.
39_A Jew, a black, and a Muslim are on a frozen lake, not talking to each other, so I thought I would go over there and break the ice.
40_What's difference between dollars and Jews? I'd give a shit if I lost 6 million dollars.
>>
What happens when you put a baby in a microwave?

I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
>>
How do you get ten jews into a telephone booth?
-Tell them they own it.
How do you get them back out?
-Drop a quarter outside the door.

How do you get Pikachu onto a school bus?
-You Pokémon
How do you get him off?
-You tug on his penis.
>>
What's the quietest album ever? Stephen Hawking unplugged.
>>
41_How does a black woman know she is pregnant? When she pulls her tampon out the cotton is already picked.
42_Whats the difference between George Zimmerman and Trayvon Martin? Zimmerman knew how to dodge a bullet.
43_One time I fucked this chick so hard, she almost came back to life
44_I don't understand why Obama has to give his speeches behind bullet proof glass. I mean,I know he's black and all, but I doubt he'll shoot anyone.
45_What's the difference between a Jew and harry potter? Harry can escape the chamber.
46_What do you call a woman who thinks she can do anything a man can do? Wrong.
47_Whats the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? A hockey player showers after 3 periods.
48_What's the difference between cancer and Black people? Cancer got Jobs.
49_What do Sarah Palin and Iron Man have in common? They both had a downey jr inside of them.
50_What's a word that white people can call white people, but black people can't call black people? Dad.
>>
I'm not racist. Racism is a crime and crime is for niggers.
>>
what do you get when you burn a bundle of sticks?
Faggot Ash
>>
Islamic fundamentalist sex dolls: Do they blow themselves up?
>>
>>686110645

I'm not racist. I own a colored TV.
>>
>what's the difference between a baby and an apple?


I don't cum in an apple before I eat it.
>>
How is a nigger like a bicycle?
>Neither will work unless the chain is in place.

What is black and blue and hates sex?
>a rape victim
>>
How do you give a hillbilly a circumcision?
-Kick his sister in the chin.
>>
Why do orphans suck at baseball? because they don't know where home is.
>>
>>686110760

What was the million man march missing?
-Five miles of chain and an auctioneer.
>>
In Sweeney Todd, why didn't Miss Lovitts serve the Jew pies?
Because they kept getting burned in the oven
>>
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>>686110608
please keep going, saving all of these for keks
>>
>>686110875

He should really just share the URL.
>>
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>>686111064
that's funny
>>
The popemobile is environmentally friendly, as it runs on the tears of abused altar boys.
>>
51. What's the difference between black people and sperm. Only one in two million works.
Thats all i got
>>
>>686111166
Checked and you're welcome.
>>
How do you make a gay fuck a woman? Shit in her cunt.
>>
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>>
>>
>>686108452

>colinebine

You illiterate fuck
>>
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Fuck off, fatty, we aren't writing your next show for you.
>>
>>686111596
That's cringe worthy
>>
>>686111596
> via 9gag
>>
>>686111241

Difference?
>>
Why didn't the choir boy win the church diving contest?

All the priests gave him one.
>>
>>686108024
What do jews and pizza have in common?
> They both go in the oven
>>
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>>686108024
>>
>>686108024
>be me
>walking down the street to the apartment complex I reside in
>see a nigger walk out the front door with a flat screen tv
>realize it looks a lot like mine
>run inside, all the way to the 3rd floor
>gottagofast.jpg
>finally reach my room
>open door, look frantically around the room
>give a sigh of relief
>He was still there, as he knelt to shine my shoes
>>
>>686114711

Zing!
>>
What do you do when you're in a daze half awake and half asleep and see your TV and DVD player float away?
-Shoot the niggers stealing them.

Why are niggers always getting stronger?
-TVs are always getting bigger.
Thread posts: 66
Thread images: 11





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