Offensive jokes thread! Hit me up /b/ros

what did the black kid say to his parents when he got diarrhea

"mommy daddy i'm melting"

You

>>686108232
Impossible his dad must have left

What type of child has no friends A colinebine survior

What's the difference between a bucket full of shit and a nigger?

The difference is the bucket.

>>686108232
>daddy

I call bullshit

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>>686108474
his father must beat him

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>>686108024

What has five arms, two feet and three legs?
The Boston marathon finish line.

>>686108024
> How many jews can you hold in a car ?
Depends if the ashtray is empty or not.

>>686108389
>underrated offensive joke
Though I believe the real joke started with his birth.

Why was the boy crying?
>I ran over his legs

Why did he stop?
>Reversed onto his head

>What's black on top and white at the bottom?

Rape

>What's the difference between a jew and a pizza?
The pizza won't scream in the oven.

>>686109161

What has four black legs and one black arm?

A happy Doberman Pinscher.

What do you get when you mix a 14 year old boy, and the sense of humor of a woman? I don't know either but that fucker posts in offensive joke threads.

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>>686108024

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>>686108703

Why do they have glass bins in Detroit? So niggers can go window shopping

What's the difference between white jews and black jews?
-Black jews have to go to the back of the oven

What runs along walls and kills jews?
-Gas lines

Why does the Mexican Olympic team suck so bad?
-All the Mexicans who can run jump or swim are in the USA

Why do Mexican women wear long dresses?
-To hide the fly paper strips

How do you get a Mexican woman pregnant?
-Cum in her shoe and let the flies do the work.

What's ten feet long and rests on top of a pile of shit?
-A turban

Why do Arab high schools hold sex ed and driving classes on different days?
-Otherwise the camel gets too tired

What's the unluckiest call in an Iraqi bingo hall?
-B52

>>686110219

Why did all the niggers move to Detroit?

They heard there were no jobs there.

Why does a gorilla always have a frown? Because in ten million years it will be a nigger.

>>686110311
How do you make a nigger starve to death? By hiding his foodstamps under his work boots.

The most difficult thing about being a pedophile is trying to fit in.

1_What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer? I give a fuck when my computer crashes.
2_My Grandpa said, "Your generation relies too much on technology!" I replied, "No, your generation relies too much on technology!" Then I unplugged his life support.
3_What do you call a five year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor.
4_Jesus Christ fed 2,000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish, but Adolf Hitler made 6 million Jews toast.
5_What's the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.
6_What's got 5 arms, 3 legs and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon. 7_What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? GLOVES! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.
8_How do Ethiopians celebrate their kids first birthday? By putting flowers on the grave.
9_How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her? She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles.
10_How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes start piling up.

11_Why do Mexicans never have Sex Ed. and Driver's Ed. on the same day? They have to give the donkey a break at some point.
12_Feminism
13_So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back… Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.
14_Most black 15 year-olds in this country are decent, law abiding citizens. It's their kids who cause all the trouble.
15_How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Don't be stupid, feminists can't change anything.
16_What is a pedophiles favorite part about Halloween? Free delivery.
17_So I painted my laptop black, hoping it would run faster… Now it doesn't work.
18_How do you kill a redneck? Wait 'till he fucks his sister then cut the brakes on his house.
19_What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer? Freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
20_What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing you already done told her twice.

What does global warming, the Holocaust and women's rights have in common? They're all bullshit.

>>686110321
kek'd

21_How do you fit 4 queers on a barstool? Flip it upside-down.
22_Why do Jews have big noses? Because air is free.
23_What happened when the jew walked into the wall with a hard-on? He broke his nose.
24_How long does it take for a black woman to take a shit? Nine months.
25_How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up like an altarboy.
26_What do you call 40 mexicans buried up to their neck in sand? A spicket fence.
27_How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None,they just sit in the dark and bitch.
28_Did you hear about the two car pile up in Mexico? 200 Mexicans died.
29_What kind of file do you need to turn a 15mm hole into a 40mm hole? A pedophile.
30_What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game? Before the First Period.

>>686108024
What is the opposite of Christopher Walkin?
Christopher Reeves.

31_How do you swat 200 flies at one time? Hit an Ethiopian in the face with a frying pan.
32_What is a redneck virgin? A seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.
33_How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? One, she just holds the bulb to the socket and waits for the world to revolve around her.
34_Girls are like blackjack… I'm trying to go for 21 but I always hit on 14.
35_Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand up.
36_Did you hear the Score of the Egypt vs Ethiopia soccer game? Egypt 8, Ethiopia didn't.
37_How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? They don't. They arrest the bulb for being broke and beat the room for being black.
38_What's 9 inches long, pink, and makes my girlfriend scream when I put it in her mouth? Her miscarriage.
39_A Jew, a black, and a Muslim are on a frozen lake, not talking to each other, so I thought I would go over there and break the ice.
40_What's difference between dollars and Jews? I'd give a shit if I lost 6 million dollars.

What happens when you put a baby in a microwave?

I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.

How do you get ten jews into a telephone booth?
-Tell them they own it.
How do you get them back out?
-Drop a quarter outside the door.

How do you get Pikachu onto a school bus?
-You Pokémon
How do you get him off?
-You tug on his penis.

What's the quietest album ever? Stephen Hawking unplugged.

41_How does a black woman know she is pregnant? When she pulls her tampon out the cotton is already picked.
42_Whats the difference between George Zimmerman and Trayvon Martin? Zimmerman knew how to dodge a bullet.
43_One time I fucked this chick so hard, she almost came back to life
44_I don't understand why Obama has to give his speeches behind bullet proof glass. I mean,I know he's black and all, but I doubt he'll shoot anyone.
45_What's the difference between a Jew and harry potter? Harry can escape the chamber.
46_What do you call a woman who thinks she can do anything a man can do? Wrong.
47_Whats the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? A hockey player showers after 3 periods.
48_What's the difference between cancer and Black people? Cancer got Jobs.
49_What do Sarah Palin and Iron Man have in common? They both had a downey jr inside of them.
50_What's a word that white people can call white people, but black people can't call black people? Dad.

I'm not racist. Racism is a crime and crime is for niggers.

what do you get when you burn a bundle of sticks?
Faggot Ash

Islamic fundamentalist sex dolls: Do they blow themselves up?

>>686110645

I'm not racist. I own a colored TV.

>what's the difference between a baby and an apple?


I don't cum in an apple before I eat it.

How is a nigger like a bicycle?
>Neither will work unless the chain is in place.

What is black and blue and hates sex?
>a rape victim

How do you give a hillbilly a circumcision?
-Kick his sister in the chin.

Why do orphans suck at baseball? because they don't know where home is.

>>686110760

What was the million man march missing?
-Five miles of chain and an auctioneer.

In Sweeney Todd, why didn't Miss Lovitts serve the Jew pies?
Because they kept getting burned in the oven

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>>686110608
please keep going, saving all of these for keks

>>686110875

He should really just share the URL.

>>686111064
that's funny

The popemobile is environmentally friendly, as it runs on the tears of abused altar boys.

51. What's the difference between black people and sperm. Only one in two million works.
Thats all i got

>>686111166
Checked and you're welcome.

How do you make a gay fuck a woman? Shit in her cunt.

>>686108452

>colinebine

You illiterate fuck

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Fuck off, fatty, we aren't writing your next show for you.

>>686111596
That's cringe worthy

>>686111596
> via 9gag

>>686111241

Difference?

Why didn't the choir boy win the church diving contest?

All the priests gave him one.

>>686108024
What do jews and pizza have in common?
> They both go in the oven

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>>686108024

>>686108024
>be me
>walking down the street to the apartment complex I reside in
>see a nigger walk out the front door with a flat screen tv
>realize it looks a lot like mine
>run inside, all the way to the 3rd floor
>gottagofast.jpg
>finally reach my room
>open door, look frantically around the room
>give a sigh of relief
>He was still there, as he knelt to shine my shoes

>>686114711

Zing!

What do you do when you're in a daze half awake and half asleep and see your TV and DVD player float away?
-Shoot the niggers stealing them.

Why are niggers always getting stronger?
-TVs are always getting bigger.