doughnut, doughnut holes, and glue
First I'd walk by and look at the cashiers name.
Then I would buy a knife, shovel and a card. I'd write her name on the card, give it to her while I'm checking out and say "see you later gorgeous"
Latex surgical gloves, anal lube and a baseball bat. Wood, if available, but aluminum is fine too. Giggle while the items are on the register's automated band, and everytime she takes one to scan the barcode, whimper, moan and say "yes, you bad boy".
Last time I was in Walmart a black lady in front of my bought 12 bushels of huge green bananas, like 20 tubes of crest toothpaste and some apricot jam.
Spent the ride home arguing about what she was up to.
My roommate you fag. Act like I have a car to get to walmart.
Baby bottles, baby formula, rat poison