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Today has been fucking horrible and I could really use a feels thread

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 242
Thread images: 98

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Today has been fucking horrible and I could really use a feels thread
>>
I've got no pic to supply, but here have a bump
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Im drunk so i love you etc. This is my fetish stuff on panties
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>>685539683
What is the story?
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>>685541610
Tldr
>>
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Dumping some pics, if anyone needs someone to listen to what you have to say, im right here anon, just for you.
Kik: Thatanoncalled.j
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>>685542235
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>>685542310
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>>685542280
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>>685542411
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>>685542387
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>>685542491
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>>685542590
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>>685542493
Sup fellow dumper
>>685542491
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>>685542686
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>>685542703
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>>685542791
>>685542703
Hi
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>>685542877
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>>685542804
>>685542877
How's life treating you mate?
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>>685542491
This one got me some serious feels. Damn
>>
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>>685542994
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>>685543085
Can't see properly what im posting(phone)
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>>685542966
Holy shit. Dammit. God fucking dammit.
>>
>>685542791
This hits close to home
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>>685542966
>>685542994
Not that bad. There's one girl, so it makes everything else ok when she's around. You?
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>>685543446
>>
>>685543446
Story of my life. God dammit.
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>>685543446
There is also this one girl, but i know nothing will happen out of it (my call), she has been ignoring me for a few day's atleast i know she doesn't hates me, she pretends to ignore me one more week.
>>685543300
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>>685543600
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>>685542235
Fucking ouch. This one speaks to me.
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>>685543802
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>>685543936
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh. I feel physical pain in my chest after reading that one.
>>
>>685543802
I know. It's been the same lately
>>685543832
>>
>>685542235

This is why I hate women. This is why I don't want to lose my virginity or have a wife and a kid. They'll destroy you in the end.
>>
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>>685543936
>>685543871
There is a video, i think its called "ocd poem", look it up on youtube, feels garanteed.
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>>685542590

Jesus christ another reason why I will NEVER get a gf again. Holy shit this just shows it.
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>>685544186
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>>685544274
>>685544186
Posted my kik earlier if you want to vent.
>>
>>685542966

darn.
>>
Story time

> Be me
> Be 13
> Finally get the balls to ask out my crush
> She says yes and I'm the happiest I had been in a long time
> FF about 3 months
> Things go south again
> My depression worsens, anger issues come back, self harming again, etc.
> She breaks up with me saying it was too much
> Heart breaks in a way that's never been healed to this day
> Contemplate suicide almost every night for a year
> Get text from her
> "Hey. I'm sorry I broke your heart. Wanna try it out again? ;-)"
> "Yeah. Sure"
> FF exactly 1 year and a week after we get back together
> Just celebrated our 1 year anniversary
> "Well, things are kinda boring between us. I'm done with you"
> FF to today
> Still never found love
> Missed out in love in my teenage years because I built walls around me and didn't let anyone in
> Depression worse as ever

I don't know how I've carried on this long /b/ros. I'm so lonely

(P.S. Sorry for my bad story skills. I don't usually green text)
>>
>>685544465

Story of my life
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> be me
> saw hot /fit/ girl in gym
> approached her and said hi
> "hi"
> suddenly excited and asked her out
> "sure"
> never been on a date before and no clue on what to do
>>
>>685544591

My first gf at 16 cheated on me on the first day. Scratch that every gf I've had cheated on me. I really women could get shot in the head
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>>685544717

go burn in hell no one cares faggot

stupid fucking hamster

go get shot along with your family
>>
>>685543446
Met a nice girl today. I'm back in my home town for a weekend. She's from the area, but probably leaving soon. I've gotta get back up to school early next week. I have her info, but because of the circumstances I'm not sure if she just gave it to me as a professional sort of thing (we both go/went to college for similar things)

She's one of the coolest, nicest and most talented girls I've met in ages, but we probably won't be within 500 miles of each other unless something changes. Part of me really just doesn't want to bother.
>>
>>685545045

who cares
>>
>>685544465
>>685544506
Thanks anon, but I think I'll pass tonight.
I really appreciate it, you're a great guy.
Thanks again :)

BTW I found this one in case anyone here apart from me feels in Spanish.
>>
>>685544274
>He only kisses her once, he doesn't care if it's perfect.
When does the ride end?
>>
Be me
Be out of state on work
Meet cutie pie at bar after work
Shes cool as fuck
Shes moving away this week
Fuck
I really liked her
Fuck

Fuck
>>
>>685544808
> I really women could get shot in the head

Kek'd
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>>685543871
>>685544246
Found it for you guy's
https://youtu.be/vnKZ4pdSU-s
>>685544506
>>
>>685544591
Never ever get back with people. Don't be their 'better than nothing'.
>>
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>>685545225
For most of us never, but we can still have some hope.
>>685545260
>>
>>685544717
Just feel it our man, it's okay to be nervous. As long as you seem genuinely interested, she's likely to cut you some slack. Keep the focus on her and don't talk about ex's.
>>
>>685545314
My friends all said the same thing but part of me still loves her even if she doesn't feel the same for me
>>
>>685545168
Are you here for any particular reason, anon?
>>
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I'd be sad too if I was a massive beta
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>>685545679
But you are sad, anon
>>
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>>685545502
Love you all, faggits.
>>685545679
You must be the most miserable among us then.
>>
>>685539683
All I want is for my wife to leave me and take the kids with her.
>>
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>>685545679
>>685545718
>>685545781
>>685545817
Vast majority of these are fakes, but goddamn if they don't still don't make me upset.
>>
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>>685545930
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>>685546213
>>
How many feels do I have to feel before I stop feeling?
>>
Today someone I do not know told me that they loved me.

I met her online through a bizare set of circumstances. I don't know why because I do not deserve it. I don't deserve to have met her. But she changed my life.

We get to talking and she listens to my story of how I want to die and how my depression hasn't been improving. I eventually told her that it's almost like nobody cares about me. Out of the blue she's like, "Well, someone must care about you" and I said something along the line of who would waste their time on me?

That's when it happened. She said, "I care. And I love you even if you don't love me or yourself."

She went offline and hasn't come back on since.

It gives me hope that even though my life is shit and I hate myself, others actually care ... I just hope she wasn't lying but she probably was
>>
>>685545184
>>685544465
>>685543832
>>685543446
>>685542966
>>685542877
>>685542791
>>685542686
>>685542590
>>685542491
>>685542411
>>685542280
>>685542191

Hey I have nothing left guys, sorry. Bute there were some (You)'s so that's ok, feeling is guys, and crying is ok.
Keep on, Godspeed.
>>
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>>685546214
>>
>>685546070
I feels you
Be free bro
>>
>>685545260

That's it. I'm doing after 22 years of being alive. Only brought into this world as a mistake.

>No friends

>Mom has given all hope on me

>birthday was literally last friday on may 13th not even a happy birthday

Fuck this shit world. I'm tired of being kind to others and always doing favors. When I need something they all just ignore me. Fuck life. I'm out
>>
>>685541610
Not really worth the read.
>>
>>685546520
yo chill bruh, just because some woman made us sad doesnt mean we let them fucking win. Keep your head up and look towards possibly improving the human race's future
>>
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>>685546520
Happy (late) birthday mate(also dont die on me plox thx)
>>685546501
>>
>>685546388
No man people can actually care for no reason that makes sense to you.
I love you too /b/ro thats why were here
>>
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>>
>>685546388
>>685546990
Today was the first time in years that someone said that they loved me. Actually brought tears to my eyes
>>
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losers in this thread
>>
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>>685546962
Something to bright up the mood a bit.
>>
>>685547247
You're here aswell mate.
>>
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>>
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>>685547446
>>
>>685547247
>>685547171
>>685547128
>>685546213
>>685546130
>>685545817
>>685545781
>>685545718
>>685545679
You know how you prevent this? You let your girl know that she is more then welcome to fuck whoever she wants...up until the point you splatter her brains all over the wall with a 12 gauge.
>>
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>>685547843
My hands are cold mates.
>>
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>>685548187
Is anyone atleast lurking?
>>
>>685547872
>>
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>>
>>685548413
I'm trying not to think about shit, but here I am anyway.

These threads are the only way I can consistently make myself feel anything real,
>>
>>685548413
I'm here

Lurking and feeling
>>
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>>685548413
I am, fam.
I'd contribute too if I was at my desktop.
>>
>>685548751
Same. Got nothing on my mobile
>>
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>>685548413
>>685548751
>>685548683
>>685548702
Thanks mates.
>>
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>>685548847
>>
>>685548965
>you know something's wrong when I'm exhibiting signs of depression

Gotta love that tumblr brand of pseudo-philosophical bullshit
>>
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Here's something to lighten the mood a tad bit
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>>685549445
>>
>>685549445
I kek'd a bit. Thanks.
>>
>>685549562
I hate that a lot of this is true. I fucking hate it and don't deserve it.
>>
>>685549867
We all deserve love bro. We weren't made to suffer
>>
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>>685549445
Fixed it.
>>
>>685534915
And that's how the world works.
>>
>>685543065
For me it's just staying alive
>>
>>685544246

Sometimes in life, you find a woman worth destroying yourself for.
>>
>>685542703
:x
>>
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Fuuuck this thread is bringing back flashbacks about ex. Feels bad man.
>>
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>>685543600
y
>>
>>685548712
I'd be ok with receiving something like this. Lets you know to cut your losses instead of her playing around behind your back.
>>
>>685551396
I kinda feel the same. At least if she fucked me over that hard I'd feel ok about getting out there again
>>
>>685550166
We are made to believe in illusions.
>>
>>685551130
Feeling like this.
>>
>meet a girl
>shes cute as fuck
>she likes me and invites me over
>start hanging out
>3rd time we hang out she wants to fuck
>the only girls i've ever had sex with have been girlfriends so this is new
>start being fuck buddies i guess
>get to know each other more and start liking each other
>spending all of our free time together for about a month
>both of us starting to really like each other
>she tells me she just got out of a serious relationship
>she says she isnt ready for another one
>we both open up about our past shit, how i still havent gotten over my old gf who moved


what the fuck am i supposed to do

also we work together and its so fucking awkward when i see her. its been about a week, i really miss her already
>>
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>>685548413

I'm always lurking.
>>
>>685552546
Well, shit.
>>
>>685545679
>>685545718
>>685545781
>>685545817
>>685546130
>>685546213
>>685547128
>>685547171
>>685547247
>>685547555
>>685548560
>>685548630
>>685548712
You think it was the sex that made her cheat on me, huh?

You think it was because she wasn't sexually satisfied?

No, the sex was amazing actually. She even came back for it a couple times.

It wasn't the sex.

In fact, I still don't know what it was.

But that doesn't change the fact that she's gone, and she's not coming back.

And that kills me more than any amount of shrimp-dick shitposting ever will.

She's gone.
>>
>>685553157
Right in the feels
>>
/b/ros, before November of 2015 I was a kissless virgin fag. No girl ever liked me in highschool. No girl ever reallyyou paid attention to me. I kinda ghosted through, I was not bullied everyone kinda just knew I was there and occasionally if I'd show up to a party everyone would go "ANON HOLY SHIT IT'S YOU". I was ignored a lot and felt very alone, sad and not confident in myself at all. Until November I decided to play murder on gmod, because why not, usually playing cs or skyrim. And I met a girl. Name her "Kate". Kate started talking to me and we had fun that night, she added me on Skype and Facebook and we ended up talking so much and so often and we ended up dating. We live about a days drive away from one another but who cares. We've had some rough patches but she's everything I think about. And we've even gone as far as to meet up, I have never been so happy in my life as I was that week we met. It was incredible, she makes me feel I matter, like I'm actually someone and not just another person. She went camping this weekend and has no service but I woke up to this message. I don't know why I'm posting this, I guess it's to say this. Guys, you may feel like shit, like there's no one who can love you or that you are worthless, but your wrong, so damn wrong. You'll find someone, I promise you this. Kate told me after I explained what my life had been, how lonely and how worthless I felt that we find the people we love most when we're not looking. And that's truer than you know. If you're alone, there's a girl out here who's looking for you. Goodnight Bros
>>
Its threads like me that remind me that there is no divine plan. Only memes. And shit.
>>
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So who else here is gonna die /alone/ ?
>>
>>685552852
thats how i feel pretty much
>>
I just spent a fucking hour and a half on the final level of a game and when I went to reload because my final assault was a miserable failure, I accidentally saved over it and now I have to start back from the penultimate level.
I'm fucking pissed.
Also I want more heroin but my fucking dude's asleep.
This night is bullshit.
You fuckers need to stop bitching about friends.
Most people suck anyway.
Fucking read or something.
Fuck.
Faggots.
>>
>>685554008
Probably me sadly. Especially since there is this girl I really like but I'm too much of a coward to tell her. Met her last May. Will be 1 year ago on the 27th and I'm thinking about telling her how I truly feel about her. Hopefully soon I'll be less alone ... wish me luck, /b/ros
>>
>>685554474

Good luck ma dood
>>
>>685554474
IT IS A FUCKING GIRL
TRULY FEEL?!
WHAT THE FUCK IS THE MATTER WITH YOU
GROW THE FUCK UP HOLY FUCK
>>
>>685554474
Godspeed anon :)
>>
>>685550166
I haven't done anything to deserve it. I'm not good enough for love.
>>
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>>685555251
The fact that they lost is sad.
>>
>>685554881
One day you're going to step outside of your sulk-fest and look in on this type of shit to see how obnoxious and faggoty it really is.
>i'm not good enough for love.
Bitch, greasy white trash fuck each other's brains out because they're too fucking stupid to realize how disgusting they are.
Then they have some wretched, slack-jawed spawn and nuzzle up in their cozy home high on oxytocin and methaphetamine probably passing shit love letters or the male playing a couple chords but the female accepts it anyway because she actually does know she can't do any better and it means that much to him.
You're fine.
Stop vying for love and putting yourself down like a pansy little bitch.
>>
>>685554474
I send my deepest prayers to whatever god you worship anon. I know you can do it my nigger.
>>
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Just made this with all the screenshots I took from one of my favorite movies. I have another one, much deeper and much longer, if you want to.
>>
>>685554881
https://youtu.be/7Uq9ORLaaos?t=2m19s
>>
My nigga TY's bday coming up, i thought i should share his story

>Be me
>Nig-nog living in philly
>Living in projects
>dont got allot of money and living with my grandma
>go to some highschool where i fight almost everyweek (Frankford high, check it out)
>While there i met my right-hand man, the greatest nigga to ever live, lil TY
>He helped me fight some bitch-ass nigga and we hung out after school
>Always used to have the best fucking loud and backwoods (Loud is weed, fools.)
>All throughout highschool we were fucking inseperable, we were ride or die for eachother
>Every fight we got in, we were there for eachother
>My squad i used to hang out with was nothing compared to TY
>He came from the same part of philly as me
>His mom left him, his dad got shot outside a papi store (convenience store run by puerto ricans, insular fucks)
>His uncle gave us both straps to stay safe (strap=gun)
>Fast-foward to graduation
>>
>>685555344
I'm not vying for love anymore. I'm just gonna live out the remainder of my days one step at a time, but I'm done with love.
>>
>>685555458
What movie is this?
>>
>>685557225
Good.
It's a feeble concept sought by the weak anyway.
Focus on more practical matters.
>>
>>685557340
Ingmar Bergman's "Persona"
>>
I accidentally pissed off a boy I like. We all met online and we're all friends in a big group chat, and I was teasing him sliiiightly too much and he got just slightly annoyed with me and I'm like, bedridden. Just inconsolably laid out over something he probably already forgot about.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
>>
>>685557677
>tips fedora
>>
>>685557993
Was just offered a blowjob and refused because opiates nullified my sex drive.
Shut the fuck up.
>>
ricky dont loose that number. any gambl0rs heres
?
>>
>>685550668
Damn.
>>
>>685558265
>I'm too fucking high to enjoy life
>people who try to enjoy life are weak and pitiful
>tipping intensifies
>>
>>685557163
>My grandma moved out the projects and got a crib
>I let TY stay on the couch
>We were low on money and needed some bad
>His uncle introduced us to trapping
>He gave us some nicks and dimes (bags of weed) to flip
>Almost day and night we'd sell
>We made enough to pay the rent and bills, and then some
>We were balling
>Our squad was well known so no pussy niggas hated on us
>Northeast philly and west philly started beefing
>TY asked me to walk him to his cousins house to go pick her up
>We get off the bus and start walking
>None of us carried our straps, we didnt need em we thought
>A car comes speeding up and stops in front of us while crossing the street
>They roll down the windows and someguy pokes his head out
>"Ay yo cuz, where u from"
>We both look at eachother and TY says
>"Dont worry bro, none of ya business
>He gets out the car and at least 4 people
>"Ay yo, I aint gone ask you again bro, where you from"
>I stand there, sorta worried
>TY finally says
>"North, yo. Uptown"
>The guys get back in the car and drive off
>We continue on walking
>As we turn the corner to his cousins block, the same car comes speeding up
>This time they do a drive-by
>They hit TY in the chest and lower leg, me in the arm (They were just spraying i guess)
>His cousin calls the cops while i sit there tryna keep him alive
>Cops finally come and take his body in their patrol car
>I get taken in an ambulance that arrives later
>We get taken to different hospitals
>A few days alter
>As im sitting in the bed watching TV, TY's cousin walks in
>She sits down in the car and starts talking to me
>she looks kinda awkward and abit sad
>She finally works up the courage to tell me
>TY didnt make it
>I start breaking down
>We couldnt afford a funeral for him, so we just cremated him
>To this day I'll never forget TY
>>
I think my mom caught me have a meltdown in my car today. She didn't say anything though.
>>
>>685552546

Go old school, invite her round, have flowers and dinner ready.

"I know this is stupid, and feel free to leave and turn me down, but..." What have you got to lose?
>>
>>685558578
>people who try to enjoy life are weak and pitiful
Nice fucking strawman faggot.
People who are constantly seeking love even though it will never come their way are weak and pitiful.
I cut out the middle man and get high because I chase bullshit that can actually be attained.
>>
>>685542387
right in the feels man
>>
>pic related
>>
So here's my story. Well, some of it, telling everything would take like 50 hours. If you want to hear it all thought in more detail sure.

>Age 7, last day at primary school, one of my earliest memories.
>Be on "Red table", cos we were the smartest shits.
>All of us good grades, all play together.
>"it's a shame we're going to different schools"
>was popular I guess, hard to remember.
>looking forward to junior school

>First year of Junior school
>Have best friend Sam
>We make up our own games and quests and shit and play them out
>all we talk about is our silly games and people start to find it weird.
>kids in years above start to bully us
>its okay, sam grew up in hard part of town
>sam doesn't take shit from guys, beats a few of them up
>end of the year sam leaves to go to another school

cont.
>>
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>>685546520
Even tho im kinda late, don't die Anon...
And Happy Be-lated Birthday. I hope you know that I truly mean it
>>
>>685542280
I know this feel all too well.
>>
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>>685539683
>>
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>>685560142

>Age 9 now, second year of junior school
>make friends with aaron
>just saved up enough to buy new pokemon game
>play the shit out of it with aaron, it's all we talk about
>get bullied in playground, it's pretty bad now, no sam to defend me
>but don't think much of it, just hide inside with aaron, playing pokemon at break
>one day walking home from school, see bullies walking towards me
>get scared, start to jog
>suddenly 5 kids around me, see aaron in the distance, tell him to run
>11 kids now, I just drop and curl into a ball
>get kicked and punched and spat on, hurts a bit, but mostly its emotional torture
>the fuck did I do to get this
>After what feels like an age they leave
>run up to aaron, holding in tears
>I'm okay, we walk, talk fast, walk fast and he goes his own way, kept asking if I was okay, I just shrugged
>open front door, immediately burst into tears
>dad wants to know what happened, can barely get words out
>seconds later it seems I'm outside the worst bully's house
>dad screaming, faggot's mum screaming back, she's an utter tramp piercings and everything.
>don't go to school for a few weeks, when I do go back I've changed classes and don't talk to anyone anymore.
>get more introverted, start assuming everyone hates me before I speak to them

>last year of junior school, age 11
>bullying is worse than ever, aaron doesn't speak to me anymore
>friend with kid in year above called ben
>he's not at school with me anymore but we hang out and play pokemon/zelda/halo and shit afterwards
>kids in school treat me like shit, but I retreat and pretend it doesn't happen
>have this cool teacher, Mr B. I've always had best grades in school and its mostly him
>due to changing class I've had him twice (2nd and last year) when most kids only get each teacher max once
>he's always supportive, I don't tell him about the bullying but his praise is one of the reasons I keep on working hard

cont.
>>
>>685550668
fuck dude
>>
>>685539683
The more you live the faster you will die.
>>
>>685550668
thats what im hoping for anon
>>685561511
fuck
>>
>>685556269
>>
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You know what? Fuck this. I'm tired of being sad, being depressed. I'm done. I'm going to fake the shit out of how happy I am, until I actually am happy. I will still be here, late at night, lurking and crying with you anons, but I'm going to change my life around. Goodbye.
>>
>>685562631
godspeed and good luck anon
>>
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>>685561512
>I'm reassured by my parents that bullying will get better in high school
>I'm smart and I'm going to a school where only smart kids can get in so it'll be my own level
>super hopeful

>first day of high school I'm sat next to these guys, it's my birthday (12)
>jake & toby, both play this game called runescape I've never heard of
>get into it in a big way
>all we talk about for the first week
>don't really make an effort with anyone else
>Still assume everyone hates me if I don't talk to them
>bullying starts pretty quickly
>it's not violent at least but kids are pretty fucking harsh
>constantly made to feel like shit by snide comments
>picked last in every sporting group etc

Fastforward to GCSEs (britfag if you haven't worked it out by now) age 15.
>jake & toby are now added to by a few others and we have a skype gaming group set up
>shit is good, still have it today, about 15 of us (all the rejects in school essentially)
>start to get interested in girls in a big way
>girl called amy, I get sat next to her in a bunch of lessons as our surnames are next to each other alphabetically
>she's stunning, she's smart, she's a personally to die for
>we don't talk that much but we talk enough to get to know her
>hear about her friends, they're not the dickheads that bully me
>they're basically the art kids and the hipster kids that listen to music and use tumblr
>want to get in on that shit, mostly to stalk amy
>start ditching my gamers more often and hanging out with these guys instead
>get drunk for the first time at a party I got myself invited to
>really like these guys, so much more fun to hang out with than gamer friends
>forget for a change my idea that everyone hates me
>get facebook, I'd avoided it before now mostly due to not having a PC
>add friends, things are okay to start with
>scroll back on people's wall's
Oh.jpg
>"You hear anon invited himself to another party again?"
>"Who's the geekiest guy in our year? Anon or toby?"

cont.
>>
>>685549562
>If it wasn't for you, someone may not be living

now it's like they don't even know me.
>>
I don't know what to do anymore
>>
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Ok boys, I need some help...

>be 19
>live in shit catholic third world country
>realized I was gay when I was 15
>being depressed and shit like that ever since
>got basically obsessed with one guy
>also, my only type of men are twinks/teens my age
>long story short, he is straight, wont ever listen to me
>be more depressed
>why do all gay men near me are fat/ugly/old/assholes?
>never found a single guy my age in which I could see any future
>get into uni
>people are a bit more understanding, nobody cares if you're gay
>guys my age start to come out
>still not completely socially accepted but it's ok
>stalk some gay guys from other schools
>they look great
>depressed cause I'll never get to meet them
>specially focus on this one guy
>he's great, literally all I wanted, would love to meet him but I never will
>anyway
>start using Grindr
>find him
>pic related
>don't know how to start talking to him
>I really want something serious with this guy, not just dickpics
>I don't wanna fuck up

Welp pls. Don't know how to start talking to him, don't know what to say, how to start conversation. I know that if I don't do it, I'll end up killing myself. I just feel it.

I think I can handle talking to him, but don't know how to start.

Anybody wants to help me pls?
>>
>>685542387
This one got me...
>>
>>685553392
I've been told that ten years ago.
And ten years ago I already had the same hypothesis I have today.
She might be and probably is dead.
:)

So I can't wait to join her.
>>
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>>685563466
STOP WAITING FOR SOMETHING TO HAPPEN AND MAKE IT HAPPEN
>>
>>685563872
I really want to make it happen, I just don't know how to :(
>>
>>685562974
>Heart sinks like a fucking rock
>all these people I was hanging out with me actually hated me
>it's like the confirmation of everything I'd ever felt bad about myself
>go to tumblr and start ranting about depression
>shit gets dark
>browsing depression and sad tags
>find out about self harm and suicide
>Start cutting
>everything gets pretty dark for the next few years
>my grades hold out since shit didn't get bad till near the end of GCSE's
>so 75% of my grades are 100%, last 25% of everything is shit, but still enough to get full As and A*s
>A levels arriving now, I hang around half and half with new friends and gaming group
>Pretend nothing is wrong
>Relish in secret life cutting and drinking and being depressed
>its empowering to think that all these people around me don't know
>girl on tumblr takes an interest
>starts comforting me, supporting me and helping me deal with shit
>still feel like crap but having someone to talk to helps a lot
>one day "hey anon, can I come see you this summer?" (she's in fucking NZ, other side of the planet)
>sure, that'd be nice
>"anon, while I'm there, can I take your virginity?"
>fucking wat
>she just said that
>top of the fucking world

>I love you's come pouring out
>nobody at school believes I have a girlfriend
>"you met on the internet? Fucking BS"
>my grades are shit, still self harming, no social life and no real life
>but I have her, and that's enough
>we get 3 months at christmas (her summer)
>sex is meh, but for a guy that knows no better it's fucking amazing
>there are problems, I don't know how much I love her and how much I just don't want to be alone
>when she goes home i cry my fucking eyes out for the first time in years
>life has improved, I have my sci-fi society at school with toby and the group
>a few more friends, turns out having a girlfriend and being more confident means you learn to talk to people.
>We meet most weekends and get drunk together watching shit movies
cont.
>>
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>>685563993
Ok, i'm gonna walk you through this step by step. Do you have his phone number?
>>
Well i found out i was pregnant....
>>
>>685542966
Jesus fuck nothing has gotten to me like that did.
>>
>>685542387
I would kill to have just one of my grandparents still around. Those ungrateful cocksuckers.
>>
>>685563466
Dude just talk to him, remember that is ok to be gay but it's not ok to be a fag. Learn from my mistakes I never ever talked to any of the girls a liked when I was your age and now I'm and old guy full of remorse and regret.
>>
>>685564412
>soon after catherine leaves toby holds party
>april 1st party cos why the fuck not?
>all of sci-fi society is there, which by this point is a combination of our old skype group, the year below's gamer group and a few girls that ended up being people's girlfriends at various points
>you have to understand the difference between me and the rest of the group at this point
>I had my brief stint at a social life with amy's friends, I'd had a girlfriend first and I'd learnt to talk to girls.
>I also drank a LOT and had been drinking a lot for much longer than them, so basically, yeah I liked these guys but at partys I wanted to get pissed and play games and they just wanted to chill and talk about movies more
>The night arrives, it's my first night out since catherine.
>By this stage I'd had the girlfriend treatment in the form of a haircut and clothes that actually fit me and made me look half okay
>still think I'm ugly cos never learnt otherwise, but I actually wasn't that bad. Also 6ft2 and slim helped
>Toby has sister, only a year older, sister is having her joint party
>Been aware of sister throughout the years and her friends, they're much higher up the social ladder and have been drinking and fucking since 15
>Sat talking in kitchen with toby & crew at party
>Enter Anna.

cont
>>
>>685564578
Thanks. And no, I can only talk to him on Grindr. Talking to him through Facebook or some other page would be quite weird, so only Grindr. I was planning to get his phone number after a few days.
>>
>>685563466
I wish i had a gay guy that was single and perfect for me in my home town, just go up to him in person and talk to him. It literally doesnt matter what you say, as long as you just tell him that you're interested in some form or another. If you've put in the konami code you get one free fuck up where he finds you cute for fumbling your words
>>
>>685565279
I don't know how to start the conversation. I can just imagine something like:

-Hey
-Hey
-how are you?
-Fine

Dead silence.

It would be stupid... :( I need some way to talk to him without sounding like a stalker or like a retard.
>>
>>685542686
Goddamnit
>>
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>>685565645
"How are you" Is one of the WORST things a person can say to keep a conversation going and most people dont realize it. It eventually leads into a verbal dead end, usually quickly. Avoid that term unless you can think of nothing better.

>And if you can think of nothing better, try harder
>>
>>685565279
>remember that it's ok to be homophobic, but it's not ok to admit it.

You really need to die. saying fag is homophobic, so at least don't act like you care about gay people. Hypocritic scum.
>>
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>>685566136
See, getting butthurt about the word "fag" on the internet, makes you instantly a fag. get the fuck off of /b/ you easily bruised banana
>>
>>685542791
is this not normal?
>>
>>685565412
>self harm scars EVERYWHERE
>like I honestly doubt any of you have seen shit like this, unless you dated someone with bpd in which case maybe
>huge red keloid scars
>loads have stitches in still and are pretty fresh
>I've been aware of her as "toby's sister's best friend" for years but never seen any of this before
>First time I'd encountered self harm outside of the internet, and to this extent the first time anywhere
>Casually make my way into sister's party room
>Ben's best friend is there, I know him through ben vaguely and start talking
>Before long they're playing spoons and shit and drinking lots and I just blend in
>end up sat on couch with Anna and another girl called Jess who I vaugely knew about
>we start talking about random stuff, mention tumblr to test the water
>Surprise surprise they both use it
>talk about shit, take the piss out of mishapocalypse (was that day)
>games stop and everyone is just talking and drinking more, getting pretty wasted at this point, few people making out in the background
>Really deep conversation with Anna and Jess
>The alcohol runs out
>"I've got some at my place, it's just round the corner"
>Anna: "I'll help you carry it"
>Alone, mention self harm for the first time, not much is said but a lot is implied and can tell we're both going to end up talking more some other time.
>get alcohol and head back to the party
>more talking and getting wasted before heading home

>my girlfriend is just glad that I went out and did something other than being sat at home
>basically the beginning of the end
>I'm half way through my last year of school at this point, 18 for that matter.

There's so much i've missed out thinking back on it. Is anyone actually reading this or am I venting to empty space here?
>>
>>685566136
>>685566280
I'm the gay guy asking for help. It's completely ok, I understand the difference and accept it.
>>
>>685566515
nobody cares
>>
>>685566515
I've read it all anon. Continue my Brit friend.
>>
>>685552546
Do it dooooo it fgt if yo
u feel her do whatever you need to
>>
>>685555251
splain
>>
>>685566515
im here
>>
>>685561511
The problem is you think you're watching a movie when you're actually writing a book.
>>
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>>685566802
Deep down, nobody on here actually hates gay people (hopefully), we just get annoyed by annoying gay behavior.

Being extra flamboyant and getting easily annoyed by stupid shit annoys people.

We dont use "fag" the same way on 4Chan, it's used ironically or as a general term almost 95% of the time. Very rarely does someone say it and mean it- it's just become a part of our fucked up meme culture.
>>
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>>685566515
>a few times a week after school Anna invites me to the pub with her, toby's sister and occsionally other randomers
>we drink, they smoke, we talk shit
>girlfriend gets concerned about all the time spent with Anna
>I tell her we're just friends it's nothing more

About Anna
>Still think she's a flat out 9/10 (see attached, albeit this was pre-scars)
>Annorexia
>Bpd
>Depression
>Bullimia
>Slept around a lot
>Drinks enough to be considered alcoholic
>Smokes a lot too
>that pixy-girl personality that basically means you're fucking screwed

>A few weeks pass and then make plans for a eurovision watch
>Get drunk while watching it
>decide to go out so she can hit on this guy who's also out, wants a wingman
>we go for it
>get absolutely fucking shitfaced
>he rejects her
>we go back to mine cos it's closer and share a bed
>we end up fucking
>next day have the worst hangover of my life and girlfriend has left about 100 messages
>that ends pretty shortly
>thus begins the story of Anna
>>
>>685566802
>>685567661

I know how you use gay, I've been in the metal/hardcore community long enough to know you took every meaning out of it and wear it like you would a dead animal's skin without any thought for what it means. Just like saying nigger and stuffs like that. You still share a vocabulary with actual homophobes.

I'm nothing here, and 4chan is never going to change. Still, it's ridiculous.

Now, hush and back to sadness.
>>
>>685567661
>>685568228
>>685565866
Back to help pls

What should I say to him then, instead of How are you
>>
>>685566136
>homophobia meme
fuck off. Honestly, this is faggotry at it's worst. Be gay, no one gives a shit. Be offended about words and try to force people not to use them - you're a fucking faggot. No one is afraid of you, or what you represent; very few are going to try to stop you from doing what you want and words are not dangerous. You're being an obnoxious speech policing piece of human garbage. Jesus.
>>
A small story of mine
>be me
>a year ago
>17y.o. first day of college abroad (yeah, I'm younger than most people in my classes idk why)
>1st semester
>being the kissles virgin that I was i didnt know what hookups were like
>eventually score a cuddling session thanks to a fucking video game
>eventaully evolves into some weird relationship that has no name(not FWB or gf/BF)
>get too attached then dump
>a bit of a meh
>meet tons and tons and tons of people see oppurtunities flying around me
>so many friends holly shit
>feel proud about not being so beta anymore
>2 months in I turn 18
>receive gifts froms family and play video games with a couple of friends all night
>room mate gets kicked out of school for numerous reasons (money, family issues etc.)
>cry like a little bitch that night, he was like a brother I never had
>try some weed, lsd and a couple of other things cause i wanted to fit in with the cooler kids
>paris and beirut attacks happen
>a bit worried but brush it off
>everything seems fine
>2nd semester rolls in
>2 weeks later I fuck a girl from a party
>believe everything is fine
>back to study routine, be healthy etc...
It's the dream college life anon right?
No.
>hear back at home that grandma is having heart problems, expecting death soon, can't do anything about it
>try to forget about it
>get absorbed into studies
>keep relations to a minimum
>completely stop talking to friends back at home
>not even parents, they always text me. I never initiate conversations
>no longer getting texts from uni friends
>try to poke them around asking them if they're up to something only to be ignore
>a couple of dorm friends remain loyal and close
>I start feeling like shit and forming bad habbits
>to a point that I've been to the ER twice because of my biking habbits (go as fast possible, try to take stairs, pull some stupid shit) trying to let some steam off
>eventually start feeling bad about expenses and how much of a burden I am to my parents
Cont in a minute
>>
>>685567885
>I was basically fucked from day 1
>I don't know if anyone reading this has had the missfortune of coming across a bpd girl
>but they are the most seductive and toxic people on the planet
>My A levels went to shit, who cares about that when I can manage to somehow get one more night fucking Anna
>Sex was unreal, I hadn't had much experience admittedly but even now looking back it was the best I've ever had
>And she pushed me away constantly, made me fight for every moment with her
>Fell utterly head over heels in love within seconds
>Friends vanished from my life and I turned into some mess that did everything it could just to somehow win affection from Anna
>I make it sound shit, it was. There was really bad self harm, there was suicide attempts on both partys and there were turning up at each other's door at 5am crying
>But there was also a holiday in spain having sex under the stars and partys and drinking and a literal whirlwind of music and love and it just kept on going
>Somehow I got into university
>relationship turned long distance
>It didn't matter to me, but it started to get toxic, like to the point where I was jealous, paranoid and coming home every weekend
>She was going out getting drunk and kissing/getting tits out for random strangers
>I was having anxiety attacks and paranoid delusions into thinking she was always cheating on me
>Somehow it lasted till the end of my first year, that summer wasn't good but I was still doing everything I could to get just a minute more time with her.
>She slept with someone else
>Sent me a snapchat of doing so, not unlike the ones further up in this thread
>Heart literally dropped through the floor.
>felt like I'd been shot and then facefucked while lying on the ground
>The worst emotional pain I have ever gone through in my life
>Drank my way through enough to kill a horse over the next few weeks.
>>
>>685568841
Part 2
>room gets lonlier every day without the room mate
>avoiding contact with alot of people
>a friend notices and suggests that I talk to someone
>refuse to, start doing everything alone
>eat alone
>study alone
>videya games alone/online
>no longer going out with anyone
>2 months left in the semester
>go out the staircase and consider jumping a couple of times due to the heavy "worthlessness" feeling following me arround
>eventually get some xanax from a seller
>hollyshititsgreat.jpeg
>control myself to avoid addiction
>stop one week later and throw rest of pills away
>I'm so lonely wtf happened
>why am I unwanted
>I never did anything wrong
>why do I have to chase people down to go out with them
>why do I feel so worthless
>everything was so perfect
(tbh it could be that I was too absorbed with my studies but I still found myself with a lot of free time trying to find people to go out with or playing video games)
>stop going to the dining hall cause sitting alone feels like shit
>start hating everyone
>don't want to try anything anymore
>force self to study so that my parents money isnt wasted
>try to take an appointment with campus counsling center(actually get number and working hours)
>I can't do it
>I just can't
>finals are approaching
>workload is massive
>wish I had someone to study with...
>end up doing well-ish
>mentally crippeled by then
>its time to packup and empty dorm rooms
>cry again once the room is completely enpty
>just thinking how much has changed and how I wish things went better along with every decision I regret(way too many)
>before leaving campus I go to say bye to a close friend
>cry on her shoulder and leave without explaining (actually had no time)
>spend a night at a friends house cause flight is next day and housing kicks us out
>in tears the whole time on the way to his house that day
>try to keep sobs silent sitting in the back
>arrive to his house and lock self in bathroom for half an hour
Cont
>>
>>685549049
fuck, this one out of all of these hit me the hardest
>>
>>685569193
Part 3
>get drunk at friends house after everyone is asleep to chill for a bit, go through extreme mood swings that night
>next morning, wake up at 6 am cause I could barely rest
>take shower thinking of all the people I met, people who never cared about me, the 3 or 4 who actually did, the completely different lifestyle I experienced
>why the fuck am I crying again
>suck it up again
>spend the rest of the day playing overwatch with good friend
>time for airport
>friend is driving
>ironically listen to crawling by edgy park
>both of js start singing to that shit while laughing
>tear up realizing that there is a chance that this will never happen again
>a bunch of other (actual) songs to sing along and have a good time
>get close to airport
>HoldingInAsHardAsIcan.jpeg
>drop off zone
>"it's been real good friend anon, i will hopefully see you next semester"
>HOLDING HARDER
>fist bump and leave
>go to bathroom and release some tears
>airline guy gives me a weird look for looking like a druggie who's been through weird shit
>get through security fairly fast
>refrain from rushing to gate
>find an empty waiting area next to a huge window from where you can watch planes landing/taking off
>Can't hold anymore
>call room mate thanking and appoligizing while crying, call myself trash for anything wrong that I have done to him and regretted
>"I wanted to help you, but I couldnt roomie"
>"It's ok OP, I don't blame you for anything I enjoyed the few weeks I was there with you"
>die for a minute, laugh at cheezy meme jokes and cancerous humor while crying on the phone
>"I know I'm probavly just some random stranger that you met at uni but you were the best m8" I said and then hung up
>call and thank the few good friends wishing them the best as if I'm never returning
>thing is, I am most probavly returning

However I regret doing a lot of things, and regret not doing a couple of other things. Cont in a min
>>
>>685544911
wow harsh
>>
>>685569524
Final part
>why was I so sad though?
I figured out after I got home.
The mental load of me returning to a country where I have lost 90% of my relations along with the chance of never being able to return because of an almost certain war got to me. I wanted to deny it but here I am, in Lebanon with barely anyone to talk to.

>pass out on plane
>get a couple of gifts from layover airport for friends in an attempt to maintain relationship
>arrive to final destination
>shower in my now very unfamiliar bathroom
>family feels like far relatives
>grandma doesnt even remember who I am
>parents oredering me around and shit
>I do not want to be here
>I hate this place
>the night after I come back my parents give me shit for not talking to them then guilt trip me into "oh you don't care about us anymore, just say it we don't care either"
It's not that I didn't care about them, I got them gifts and all but I just dont have this need to express my love further than that.
>next day
>text an old friend
>tell him im back and I miss him and wanna go out and shit
>very neutral replies
>later that day he picks me up and we go to his house and talk for a bit
>come back with an odd feeling
>3 days later same friend magically shows up at my house and calls saying "we're crusing around with the guys let's go, if can get us a couple of water bottle sthat would be great"
>I had just woken up cause of time zone changes and I wasn't ready to go out
>tell him sorry I can't and that I need about an hour to shower eat and get ready
>replies with "wtf you wanted to go out with us and shit, You know what? forget about it see you next summer"
>see his snap story on how he goes out almost every day
>I never did anything wrong to this guy yet im treated like that...

I hate so many people, I have an urge to kill some of them, I feel like absolute rubbish because of them fuck this life why even bother being so nice to people.
>>
>>685569168
>Finally started to crawl back out of the hole I was in
>Grades were bad but recoverable
>Friendships rekindled and the skype gaming group gradually took me back
>Throughout Anna I'd gone from a geek who dressed okay
>To a confident party-goer that dressed really well and looked after himself
>girls were a thing I could attain and I slept around a fair bit
>Actually made friends at uni which I'd never had before
>Life started to come together a bit
>relationships with parents and brother were even repaired a bit
>Get involved with Sci-fi society at uni
>Go to cinema event for guardians of the galaxy
>Afterwards I'm drinking at a bar and get talking to this girl Lucia
>She's from slovakia, she's beautiful, she's a geek too and she's never dated anyone before
>She has zero mental health issues besides a mild "Am I too fat?"
>Start dating within a week

>Fast forward 18 months

In 3 weeks I'm going to Italy with Lucia, my grades are average but improving. I have some really really good friendships now at uni and I'm still close friends with the skype gamers, Toby being my best friend of them. I have a girlfriend who loves me, I'm confident and I know how to dress myself. I don't drink that much anymore, and my nights out involve live music, expensive whiskey and real ale. I still spend a ridiculous amount of time computer gaming. But the point is that I'm 21 now and happy. When I was 15 I was a depressed virgin self harming /b/tard with no social skills no sense of dress and ugly as fuck. I overcame all that and survived breaking up with a girl I was more in love with than words can describe.

If you've had a bad day, month, life, year whatever. At some point you'll get to a day where you can look back like I am, and be kinda happy with the way things turned out.
>>
>>685570068
It'll all work out when you go back, you'll have a new appreciation for the people there and you'll form actual friendships.
>>
>>685544465
This is creepy as fuck
>>
File: 1462171569344.jpg (7KB, 261x220px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1462171569344.jpg
7KB, 261x220px
>>685542491
Too close to home
>>
>>685571063
I really hope for that too anon, however the same thing is happening over there now that I am here, maintaing international relationships is way harder for some reason, I'm trying my best... Hoping for the best too
>>
>>685570263

Your story doesn't compel me towards any truths to leading a good life, anon.

It only gives me glance of naïvety, like a self-pleased child, not to offend your maturity.
>>
>>685571727
At the start of the summer people generally have friends to catch up on and family to talk to.

Once that's out of the way they start to think about going back to uni and missing it and then they want to get back in touch with the people there.

This is when you have a catch up, play vidya over skype and talk about shit. Then you go back to uni and hit the ground running.

(I'm the anon who posted the long-ass Anna story FYI)
>>
>>685571919
*tips fedora back at you*

I told it kinda badly, there's so much missing but nobody commented so didn't know where to elaborate

But it was mainly aimed at a split between the people who had a similar shitty childhood, and those that went though a bpd relationship. Thinking that either of them would want to know shit can get better, because at those stages in my life I didn't think it would.

You clearly haven't had that experience.
>>
File: boi.jpg (21KB, 500x388px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
boi.jpg
21KB, 500x388px
>>685549445
shit like this has the opposite intended effect on me, it just gets me irrationally angry.
>>
>>685563821
Holy fucking shit
>>
>>685571971
I play with them as often as possible but having a shitty adsl network at 4Mbits and constant power outages that last 3 hours, for every 6 hours there is along with the huge time difference makes it ridiculously hard
>>
>>685544591
We're all alone in this world. All we have are memories.
>>
>>685542191
This. This could not be more accurate as to how I feel with her. I just want her in my life and I can barely have that anymore.
>>
>>685570263
Good read anon. Cheers
>>
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BttA8xGfgbo
>when i was young,
>i played hopscotch with the devil now im all lone
>skipping stones and my self esteem
>how do i tell you this?
>the devils womb brings my comfort when you wont
>>
>>685573825
Nice tune
>>
All I ever fucking do is work anymore. Six to seven days a week of it. I'm too fucking young to be doing this, too. Like most people who work the same amount that I do are at least doing so to support a wife and some kids. But I'm single and don't have any children, and working this much is taking up too much of my time for me to have enough of a life to ever even try to find a girl I would want to marry in the first damn place. I am literally just wasting my life away right now, and I don't have a single fucking clue as to what to do about it. All my friends my age are out having fun and living life, getting engaged, going down real career paths. And here I am doing jack shit besides working my sorry ass off for no fucking reason. What's the point of life if I'm not actually living? I work so that I will have enough money to support myself enough for me to keep working, it's a pointless fucking cycle. And I'm ready for it to end, fellas. I'm just so tired of it. I'm done.
>>
Does anyone know the name or can link me this one song an anon shared along time ago? It was a Spanish or Mexican song and the only picture in the video was the album which was yellow and had a bull-fighter looking guy on it. Really makes me get all feelsy.
>>
>>685560649
I think this anytime I see a girl I like. I hate being a beta fag.
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-IFtj5XdDU

If anyone actually gets this reference, you are a blessed individual.

For those that don't:

https://thestoryofbutton.wordpress.com/table-of-contents/foreword/
Thread posts: 242
Thread images: 98



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