Step 1: Ask a 33 year old kissless virgin anything. Step 2: Feel

Why are you a kissless virgin?

>>685345989

Mucho autismo.

>>685345812
How much do you weigh?

>>685345812
any advice to i'm not end up like you?

>>685346170

70 kg at 180 cm.

>>685346189

Kill yourself. Or you know, be social and kind and shit.

>>685345812

Why are you still alive?

>>685345812
Are you a wizard?

>>685346376
You sound like a guy that does not look disgusting. Maybe go to gym more and invest in some fashionable clothing

>>685346873

To shitpost, mostly.

>>685347073

Well, I spend most of my time shooting fireballs at peasants ...

>>685345812
i'm you but 30. what can i do to not be you in 3 years?

>>685345812
What do you do for a living?

>>685345812
I'm 33 too and have a great life and have banged many many chicks... sucks 2 be u bruh

>>685345812
Why is my couch always wet?

You like quads?

>>685345812
Why dont you fuck a hooker

>>685346376
Why aren't you social? Like shit, I got a gf by having a basic talent (guitar) and being nice. It doesn't take much.

>>685345812
You're not a loser. You're just doing something wrong. What is it about you and your lifestyle that has led you to this point? Hotties aren't going to line up outside your door just because you're "nice".

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Your life is not as bad, mentally, as mine is. trust me.

>>685347154

Gym is horribly boring. I go running and bouldering regularly.

http://www.strawpoll.me/10265806

>>685345812
I big is you're dick? can we see it with a timestamp?

whats it like being me in 14 years???

>>685347422

Suicide.

>>685347568

Nothing, if I don't find a new job in a few weeks.

>>685347694

Duh.

>>685347722

Stress incontinence.

>>685347797

I do.

>>685347828

Trafficking.

>>685347887

I'm neither nice, nor have basic talents.

>>685348103
>nor have basic talents
Why don't you get them?

>>685347941

Storytime.

>>685348045

Normal dick size. To lazy to make timestamped pics.

>>685348075

You are young. Shut up.

I don't understand how being a kissless virgin is such a bad thing. I wish I could be one.

Women only bring you heartbreak, a much worse feeling then being a kissless virgin.

>>685348213

Because you _have_ talents. You _get_ skills.

>>685348275
Then idk bro. You looking for it to meaningful or do you just wanna get your dick wet?

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>>685348275
no im not im old enough to be a daddy

>>685348494

Wet dick is all I want.

>>685348103
You need to work on yourself. Become someone whom others find attractive. Step one is not hanging out on 4chan on a Friday night. Get a dog and walk it in the park. Do some volunteer work. Work on becoming what others find attractive. Seriously.

try fetlife if all youre looking for is a wet dick. all sorts of fun stuff on there

>>685348818

I am currently working on not completely failing as a human being - and I am failing at that too.

>>685348691
huh...if every bit of what you told us is true then i don't know why you'd be a virgin...have you been shot down before? also..and no offence..but do you turn to a total spazzlord when talking to women or do you keep it cool?

>>685349184
>.have you been shot down before?

Of course.

>.but do you turn to a total spazzlord when talking to women

I do not turn into a total spazzlord, I am a total spazzlord. When talking to anyone.

>>685348379
Poof

>>685349183
Bullshit. If you're failing as a human being, how can you expect to find a satisfying relationship? Focus on yourself first. Sort out your shit before you whine that nobody will ever love you.

>>685349183
seriously buddy- go to fetlife right now, make a profile and explain youre trying to cash in your v card- go to some meetups, fucking profit

>>685349641

Unfortunately, my shit is becoming increasingly unsorted. Entropy strikes again.

>>685349687

Am I not supposed to have some kind of fetish?

>>685349917
you don't have to
also- you ARE some chicks fetish

>>685349859
Then being kissless should be at the bottom of your list of problems. It's a symptom, OP.

>>685350052

I think it is an urban legend that chicks exist who are into virgins over 30.

>>685350157

Of course it's a symptom. The root cause involves every single aspect of my life.

>>685350157
this is true- however, we are here to solve the problem of OP's dry dick. not all of his life problems. OP gets laid, OP gains a little confidence, OP can begin to sort out the larger issues in his life

>>685350464
So what's wrong with your life? I'm not being facetious. What's the biggest impediment to your being confident enough to be the slightest bit social?

>>685350615
OP can get laid any time he has a spare $50. That won't help him, and he knows it.

>>685350464
Catherine Keener fucked a virgin over 40.

>>685350464
in general yes
on fetlife, no
just try it- you have nothing to lose but that v card
super fucking cereal, go to that site and make a profile right now- just list what youre interested in and check out the different groups in your area. you could be unwizarded TOMORROW

>>685350714

Mostly the accumulated embarrassment from past social situations. And an almost existential self-hatred.

>>685350897
this is absolute bullshit, i've been to fetlife, its the same as any other dating site, fat women/fat men all with high expectations. The difference though is the fat women have it easier then the fat men.

>>685350849
I have to respectfully disagree- OP's virginity has become "a thing" at this point- maybe "THE thing" he defines his life by. I think if he can just break the seal on that, he can quit obsessing about pussy and move on
he said he didn't want to go the hooker route anyway

>>685351153
don't listen to this negative nancy
im sorry that youre fat and didn't have any fun on fetlife
I had a different experience

>>685351523
yea and i bet you had to waste money right? fuck that.

>>685351292
>OP's virginity has become "a thing" at this point- maybe "THE thing

A thing. There are other things
- my lack of friends or social contacts
- my failing health
- my lack of hobbies or interests
- my (soon) lack of a job

>>685350950
If you stop trying then no wonder you get nowhere. Get off of 4chan and make yourself someone whom others will find interesting. Are you a NEET?

>>685351618
then you should be working on those first, not you're virginity.

>>685351689
>Get off of 4chan and make yourself someone whom others will find interesting

I am the least interesting person there is. A robot in human skin. And I will be a NEET from 1st of June.

>>685345812
Any advice ?

>>685351606
I didn't have to waste any money
groups will meet at a diner or coffee shop- some public place, so you buy a coffee or a sandwich- that's it

>>685351724

I know. But stuff keeps instead falling more and more apart.

>>685346162
E-verified™ 100% autistic response

>>685352194
>i didn't have to waste any money
>just have to buy coffee or sammich
>then you gotta buy ham planet coffee and sammich that you wannt fuck
>then you gotta drive back to whereever ham planet lives spending more money on gas

or if you're like me don't have a car to get to such places and so you're automatically disqualified from such meet ups.

Still point is you need money now fuck off.

>>685348275
Theres your problem. You're lazy. 90% of the problems people complain about are due to laziness. Get off your ass and do something

>>685351618
ok- you have a bunch of shit to work on
you have to start somewhere- if you focus on all those problems at once, they seem insurmountable- lack of hobbies and interests is probably the easiest to start with. do things that you find fun. worry about the rest later.
but seriously just make a fetlife profile and try it- get your dick wet and get a little confidence boost. work on the rest after

>>685352121
Then you know what to do. Find and develop some interests, and go to where people with similar interests are. Get a social network in real life. You can't do it over the interwebs. You'll make friends, who will introduce you to their cousin or sister. That's how it happens in the real world. Just quit whining and get the hell off of 4chan and start living.

>>685352520

I am lazy indeed.

>>685352502
walk then dipshit, take the bus, who wouldn't spend $15 to fuck the hamplanet? the hamplanet will zucks you dry

>>685352824
>Find and develop some interests

Name something that gets me chicks.

>>685345812
Where are you from, faggot?

The UK is basically getting pussy in easy-mode! - And if you're in Denmark I'll buy you a beer.

>>685353024

I am living in the UK atm. From Germany though.

>>685352987
me, thats who, i have standards. I also don't care to fuck anyone, but my point is you're still spending money, compared to what you said that you didn't, fucking hypocrite.

>>685351292
Getting laid is now his holy grail. You may be right. If he has said no prostitutes then maybe on some level he knows that real-life relationship sex would mean that he's turned a corner in his life. But that means getting a real life and real relationships first.

>>685345812
I'm older than you, and even more pathetic. Wat do?

>>685348691
get escorts ? pay extra so no talking involved if it freaks you out ? like, make the deal over the phone and literally ask her to be bent over on the bed when you arrive ?

>>685353142
I don't consider $15 to be spending money- its fucking nothing in the entire scheme of shit

>>685350849
Yes it will. A lot of walls crumble when you realize women actually are mere flesh holes.

>>685353465

I don't think that this changes much. When I say that I want to get my dick wet, it's about more than the sex itself. It's about being as attractive to another human being that sexual intercourse is desired. It's some kind of social verification.

>>685353011
Dude, you're putting the cart before the horse. Anything that develops a network of friends will introduce you to women. Some things are better than others. For instance, getting a dog and walking it in the local park when others are doing the same is more likely to work than getting into Dungeons and Dragons or MTG. But anything is better than nothing.

>>685345812
sup?

>>685353107
Dude, you're living in the UK and can't get laid?

Might be because your grandfather dropped bombs on London? - I don't know!

Get the fuck back to the continent and I'll buy you a beer, my friend!

>>685353712
And that's going to help OP's existential self hatred? Sex isn't the goal, it's a bonus for having a real life with real relationships.

>>685353854

Just name something appropriate.

>>685353791
I get that, and you're right it's important, but it's not the whole story. What you're talking about is sex within a relationship. You're a fucking 33 virgin and you live in an over-sexualized society. There is no way the very act of sex has not become something that blocks you from developing many aspects of yourself at this point. Leave the reciprocation for later. Right now, go out there and fucking own a woman. Fuck her hard, groan like a caveman, slap her ass and come back in touch with your inner animality. Progress from there.

>>685350464
I'm a girl and I would 100% be into you OP, as long as you don't look terrible.

I actually am into people who feel like they don't fit in anywhere and people who "suck at life" cause I'm one of those people.

>>685354505
Would you be into me? - I'm the same, but I look terrible.

>>685353668
$15 can get you a days worth of food, so no its not nothing, fuck off.

>>685354505
>as long as you don't look terrible.

Well. I do.

>>685354256
I can't, buddy. If you pick something you like, and that you're interested in and knowledgeable about, and like to talk to other people about, that's the best thing. There must be something you like or are interested in. You say you're a robot, but you're not; you say that because it's easier to assume that you're unfeeling than work to change anything.

Do you think it will ever change? i fucking hate my own life and im only 20.
Don't feel so sad op, atleast we have /b/

>>685354256
archery

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>>685354688
it can also get you an entire life's worth of not being a virgin- so I will not fuck off

>>685354778
>If you pick something you like, and that you're interested in and knowledgeable about, and like to talk to other people about

There is nothing that comes to mind. Unless it is drinking beer and sleeping.

>>685354997

Consider it done.

I'm assuming OP and the people who say they're like him all live in urban environments ?

>>685354705
I doubt that. I'd want to hang out w/ you but I live in the US

>>685353011
karate
and knitting
chicks dig that shit

>>685355026
I normally never reply, i always lurk, but i felt like talking to you today.
Idk i don't really wonna ask a question to feel better about myself, it won't help you, so scratch what i said earlier

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>>685355089

>>685354505
you and OP both timestamp a pic- maybe we made the match
or youre just another neckbeard in a basement

>>685355448
this

>>685345812
Why don't you fuck guys instead?

>>685355448

OP here. Not gonna show my face on /b/.

>>685355010
i'd rather not be hungry then have sex any day. If sex is top priority for you, i fear you will not exist much longer.

>>685355574
faggot detected
but it is a valid question

>>685355574

Because I am straight. Simply as that.

>>685348379
Dude get off your faggot horse and go suck a dick then.

>>685355775
No faggot at all, but with enough sexual frustration and the need to form emotional bonds (which is pretty easy with bros), I don't really see what's holding you back. If I didn't fuck for, say, a year I might get in the mood of experimenting, but you're far worse off for some reason.

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>>685355699
jesus poorfag, let it go
OP said his only interest is drinking beer, I don't think $15 is going to break him
go kick an old soup can down the street or something

>>685356031
>>685355775-im not OP

>>685356289
The fact that people think you are should really make you worry. No offense, OP, you can just use your wizard power to get over it.

>>685356468
kek'd

>>685356468
>No offense, OP, you can just use your wizard power to get over it.

All good.

>>685355026
C'mon, now you're making excuses. I'm not trying to be Dr. Phil here, but quit your damn whining! Surely you like comic books or board games or A/V stuff or chess or scrapbooks or yard sales or karaoke or something. Beer and sleeping are escapism, not hobbies. Unless you're into brewing, then that's a popular hobby and you can go to beer tastings and hang out at local microbrews rather than the pub full of losers. Nearly anything you can think of has groups of real live people that meet in real life and you can join in. But you'll get nowhere staring at your computer screen feeling sorry for yourself.

>>685356666
>Surely you like comic books or board games or A/V stuff or chess or scrapbooks or yard sales or karaoke or something.

No.

>>685356666
Check em

>>685356919
Then start going to AA meetings, where you'll meet other people who like beer. Just get off your ass and get out there.

>>685356919
tennis, divegrass, stamp collecting, politics, movies, hockey, congo hockey, historical reenacting?

>>685357174

Worth a try.

>>685354866
Shut up your fucking 20, you suck because you suck. He sucks because getting it in is truly important man. >>685354438
This op, this. When I lost my virginity I started noticing the ones that were actually attracted to me. It's like he said, it will wake up your animal side. Not to mention knowing what it's going to be like before you fuck it up is always nice.

>>685357137
Wow, I didn't even notice! OP should conclude that I speak truths!

>>685357325

I like to watch movies now and then.

I know those feels op. I'm really awkward myself, didn't have parents growing up and my grandmother basically left me in front the TV all the time. Sometimes I wonder what a kiss would feel like. The only thing keeping me alive is fapping. I think I only realised that I'm the king of losers when I cried and fapped at the same time, so don't worry /b/ro, you're not the only loser on here.

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>>685357824
Crying and fapping is for losers? I thought it was for real men, like ones who know how to get shit done.

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>>685357469
I think we have a bingo
there's got to be some movie clubs around

>>685358674

Dude. There is some difference between watching movies now and then and having movies as a hobby.

Im 21 kissless virgin going for 30

OP here. I will go to bed now. More shitposting tomorrow.

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>>685359043

OP here claiming ID

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>>685345812

have you tried pic related?