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im a 28 year old virgin and I NEED to get layed before 30. escorts

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 229
Thread images: 29

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im a 28 year old virgin and I NEED to get layed before 30. escorts are not an option, i'm a human

My features
>pretty tall
>muscles (great calves and traps)
>strong beard/hair game
>expensive gear (genuine gold chain, watch, couple rings)
>my own flat with all the necessary shit (bonus: ice machine and home fryer)

Can you guys pls help me get layed? Give me some tips and shit. My weakness is im scared of women
>>
Live in Dallas? I'll hook you up.
>>
>>684942075
let us see what we have to work with
>>
>>684942188
That sucks I live in Quebec
>>
>>684942075

gold chain? rings? i'm afraid you are gonna need that escort..
>>
>>684942075
home fryer is a bonus?
your pad smells like stale french fries, bro
>>
>>684942075
>expensive gear (genuine gold chain, watch, couple rings)
Ditch them.

Where you from?
What scares you about women?

>Protip: they are just the same, if not worse than men.

Also, you're 28? Then know it's spelled laid.
>>
>>684942279
I just told you. I am not going to post my image because my face isn't very attractive
>>
>>684942075
>home fryer
get a hooker bb
>>
>>684942075
i'll bone you, op
i live in new hampshire

full disclosure, i'm a dude and will pound your ass hard
>>
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>>684942075
>home fryer

wat a fucking kank
>>
>>684942390
so? we dont give a fuck mate

you want advice or not?
>>
>>684942341
Kek
>>
>>684942075
>muscles, bear and gold chain
This nigger googled "cool"
kek
>>
>>684942075
What ar ewe working with here? OP, we have to have a picture to see if we need to call in reinforcements.
>>
Definitely would fuck
>>
>>684942075
home fryer
>>
>>684942477
top kek
>>
>>684942338
Hahaha wow what a faggot you're an old virgin and you live in the only shit part of the country.
>>
>>684942075
>escorts are not an option

welp, i think you're on your way to being a wizard. stay a virgin and not feel the wrath a woman will send upon thy
>>
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>>684942382
>Where you from?
Quebec

>What scares you about women?
When I am faced with an attractive woman I get shivers down my spine, I just freeze. Dunno what to say or do I can't even think properly. I just think "she knows im a pussy" etc

>>684942428
Not gay thanks

>>684942462
I give a fuck
>>
>>684942075
fuck your dog
>>
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Backpages bitch... Cleaner than the cow shaped bitches you'll likely see in your area.
>>
Yeah man i got an advice for you, walk up to girls and start telling them about your ice machine and home fryer. Pretty sure they will instantly blow you and let you fuck them until the dawn of days
>>
>>684942674
just start out with a hooker, then take it from there

once your virginity is taken, nothing can stop you in your hunt
>>
>>684942075
no wonder if you are virgin OP

sounds like you got some issues. try to speak to a therapist, no joke
>>
>>684942075
> home fryer

Holy shit my sides.
>>
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>>684942984
He should carry photos of the ice machine and home fryer to various bars and clubs. Nothing beats solid evidence of goods.
>>
> My only weakness is I'm scared of women

And your weak knees supporting your home fryer diet.
>>
>>684943042
If the innie-cock won't, the herpes sure will
>>
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Might land something like this beast, since your home fryer seems to be your pride and joy.
>>
>>684942075
lose your accessories except for the watch. a nice watch and a belt are the only accessories that man needs (if any). if you try to look like a christmas tree no wonder girls will run away. less is more.
>>
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>>684942674
Understandable, though I bet the biggest problem is that you try to repress it, put on an act, your gold chain and watch, make some fries to hide the fact you are afraid.

Ever just spoke to them? Ever really just said "I'm very nervous around people, especially women".

You'll find a bit of honesty and self awareness goes a long way, as most of us can see right through the act, if you drop it you'll find yourself with people who feel the same, and who want to be around the same..That's why I don't go to da club anymore, ignore bitches with that fake smile and a pound of makeup, dressed up like they're on the fucking red carpet. Give me real people.

Most people are walking facsimiles of what they see on TV and magazines.
>>
>>684943517

my eyes!
>>
Why are you all so focused on the home fryer? Honestly I have one too and they are pretty neat, pretty expensive if you want a good one. Women likes a man who can cook
>>
>>684943533
Ever thought about the fact that OP might be a nigger? Sure sounds like he has the same IQ as one
>>
>>684943048
The rapist
>>
>>684943731
he might be, but it does not change my point. all i said is still true, even if he is a nigger.
>>
>>684943621
I love my mother and I speak to her on the phone almost everyday. I am not scared around ugly women, I can talk to them about work and weather and stuff. They are just like friends you know. But as soon as I get interested sexually I am fucked.

I hear what many of you say here about being real but I swear the real me is shit. This world we live in is very superficial and I think it's the best way to get layed
>>
>>684943805
lold cause its true

OP definitely needs advice from the rapist
>>
OP post a pic of your face!!
>>
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>>684942075
>i'm a human
>>
>>684943938
has it gotten you laid so far? no. why be someone else then? try being you for once. if it doesn't work out you can always go back to your fakery
>>
>>684943938
I hear that OP
I have the exact same problem
>>
>>684944108
I didn't ask advice on how to be, I know for a fact the shit I have women like (actually adore)

I just need help with like what to say or maybe where to get them
>>
>>684942075
This entire post.

>If you say, pretty tall that prolly means you are 5'10
>women only care about abs. i am pretty fit myself and other than abs and maybe pecs women never mire anything else. you don't even need the most toned of abs, just don't have a gut, no one cares about traps other than men

>expensive gear
>genuine gold chain
It's not even the fact that you have gear it's the fact that you actually think it's important. If you are not sporting a rolex have a car dress semi formal all the time, no one gives a shit about your accessories.

>ice machine
>home fryer
Meme shit that no one cares for.

If you want advice. Post your face. It is literally the equalizer. If you ugo, you will never make it at 28 with all the attached insecurities that come with being a virgin at 28 and being a sperg who thinks having a genuine gold chain and a home fryer yields any advantages in the dating game.

Literally go to a club, dress your best, and ask every single woman there, if they want to have sex with you. Just try to look your most confident and go for the ones that you don't like as well. Your dick doesn't have eyes, and "Hey baby, wanna fuck tonight?" is a good way to start. Leave the gold chain at home you fucking kissless chav.
>>
>>684943155
I'm giggling like a faggot
>>
>home fryer
I'll see you faggots on /r/4chan
>>
>>684944326
i agree with the dressing part. even if you are not good looking, nice clothes will still attract women. they don't care about your face as much as you care about theirs
>>
>>684944206
I remember the time when I bought my home fryer and ice machine that women were proposing to -me- on my way out to my mom who was waiting in the car.
>>
Home fryer... Jesus Pommes Fries

This virgin takes the cake
>>
>>684942341
Kek
>>
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>>684944206
>I just need help with like what to say or maybe where to get them

Fuck sake Op it's insulting how you disregard the actual useful advice while you search for the advice you want.

Grow the fuck up, be yourself because if the world is superficial why the fuck would you want to join it? Just to get your dick wet?

Fine, here:
>fake confidence
>read some shit, gives you something to discuss if you can't chit chat.

Other than that I give up. There is no secret, you just have to be someone people want to be with.
>>
>>684944854
You sound like a faggot, maybe OP in disguise?
>>
>>684942075
Just accept you'll NEVER ever get laid, and just post more pics of the girl in the OP you pathetic fucking faggot.
>>
Watch rsdtyler on youtube. Worked for me.
>>
>>684943652
Women like a man who can cook something that's not dripping with grease.
>>
I went to Quebec a couple years ago, beautiful town with beautiful women. A lot of the city is very traditional and quiet (as far as Canadian standards go) and your competition is literally butt fucking ugly eurofag wannabes. So you're in a city where all the ugly fucks learned how to swoon women with there words and style and somehow you just missed that entire fucking skill set. You are outclassed and need to GO TO A DIFFERENT CITY. A wild, young, sloppy college slut ville. Stay out of the fancy clubs. You will have a way better chance in Montreal or the outskirts of Toronto
>>
>>684942075

holy shit I just saw a screencap of you in a YLYL thread like 3 minutes ago and I laughed my ass off.

I'm fucking dying right now holy shit
>>684936511
>>
>>684945515
Fake
>>
>>684943652
kek, a man using fryer has no relation to being a good cook. women like men who can cook healthy food well. if i wanted fast food i would go to fast food restaurant. if someone was cooking for me i would expect that to be something nice (simple, good tasting and healthy)
>>
>>684945753
You are not american. We get it.
>>
>>684945707

are you trying to say OP is trolling?
>>684944924
>>
cocaine will boost your confidence. drop the accessories.
>>
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>>684942075
see a prostitute but dont have sex with her

find an older one who is kind and gentle and who will teach you the necessary interpersonal skills so that you will be a good lay when it happens
>>
>>684945996
WHY are you doing this to OP? Fucking sad of you
>>
>>684945817
i am not, and don't expect me to believe that everyone in america is eating so unhealthy. yeah, i get that the stereotype is not made up of nothing, but there are people who like decent food. it has nothing to do with the country. i refuse to believe that everyone/ a large majority in one country love to eat shit so much.
>>
>>684946173

i didn't post it lol, i did lose in a YLYL thread tho
>>
>>684942075
>escorts are not an option
>i'm an human

guess what, they are human too!
>>
>>684942674
pretty sure we just figured out why you're a virgin

>I give a fuck

girls like confidence, not insecurity. If you cant even show a bunch of strangers on the internet your face how're you gunna face a bitch
>>
>>684946352
>escorts
>they are human too
lold
>>
>>684946421

bbut gurls ar scurry n shit
>>
>>684946352
>escorts
>human

Pick one.
>>
>>684942075
>genuine gold chain, watch, couple rings
are you a faggot or a beaner or both?
>>
>>684942477
Kek
>>
>>684942674
>I give a fuck

Oh the irony in this sentence...
>>
>>684946173
can't be worse than anything op has done to himself already
>>
>>684943155
>>684942984
FUCKING CRYING RIGHT NOW FUCKING KEK
>>
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I'm a 26 year old kissless virgin and I could care less. If it happens it happens. I'm completly fine with my life. Why the fuck do people need to validate their life by putting their penis in a vagina? The most basic human thing.

I could if I wanted but I'm too busy playing video games and doing drugs.
>>
>>684946141

This. Also Ecstasy.

Sounds like you'd be able to afford some coke though and that's a lot easier to deal with first time.

Don't take it every day though or you're a spazz and you'll ruin your life.
>>
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/b/tards actually thinking this is legit?
>op is fag
>>
>>684942075
go to a strip club
buy a lap dance

I did this a few weeks ago and it made me feel better about interacting with women. stripper might be able to give you a few tips as well
>>
>>684947010
mah nigga.
also you're probably assexual.
>>
>>684942075
>escorts are not an option, i'm a human
K
>>
>>684942075
>im human
The fuck is that supposed to mean you giant faggot
>>
>>684947093
are you retarded?
>>
>>684947093
Christ, do you know how to read?
>>
>>684947010
Im too busy playing Video games and doing drugs

I told a girl that I couldn't come over to fuck because I had just finished downloading max Payne 3. I was also high as fuck.

You my nigga OP
>>
>>684947381
i think so
>>
>>684947010
How the fuck do you go 26 years as a kissless virgin? I made out with girls in 5th grade and had sex in middle school. Not tryin to be an asshole im genuinely curious.
>>
First: your gold chains and rings? No one gives a shit. It's confidence that matters. Poor people get laid too.

Second: use that frenchy accent to your advantage. Take a trip to the west, and just go to a bar and start talking to chicks. They'll be all over you.
>>
>>684943731
No niggers get pussy, OP can't possibly be a nigger
>>
>>684947010
As someone who does drugs, why the fuck WOULDN'T you have any interest in having sex?

The feeling obtained from sex is exactly the same as a high from a drug
>>
>>684947491
Because he's a prolific fucking faggot
>>
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>>684947153
Not sure what asexual is. I spank it to this and I like girls but they just complicate things. Too many variables. Shut up.
>>
>>684947093
This guy doesn't even know the subject! I'm laughing so fucking hard right now. I could imagine some fucking neckbeard joining a thread and instantly replying to talk shit before you could finish reading the thread
>>
>>684942075
Shave the Beard you look like every faggot out there.
>>
>>684942075
Fuck fam it's not that hard
Don't think too much and just live a little
>>
>>684942075
You're a faggot
>>
>>684942075
omg pls dont lie and ask for help at the same time
>>
>>684947491

Not the same guy but until I hit 27 I had no confidence in myself whatsoever. The notion that someone even could be attracted to me was a completely foreign to me.

Then I took ecstasy for the first time and suddenly my self consciousness slipped away.
>>
>>684947458
how do i find a girl to invite me over to fuck her?
how do guys meet these girls?
>>
>>684947491
Probably because I bounced school too school, never trusted anybody long enough to get close. I don't really like people. I like anonymous blocks of words.
>>
>>684942075
smells like pasta but I'll bait.
>go out more, get some bros, manage to get invited to parties and from there ez pz
>>
>>684942075
stop being a pussy and go to a bar preferrably one where the music aint so loud so you can actually talk and hear each other, buy her a couple drinks and your good to go. seriously buddy its not that difficult and its probably not going to happen your first try but eventually it will. it hasnt happen to you it because your not allowing it to happen
>>
>>684942674
dude drink and get a decent buzz your fear will fade away, i used to be afraid to talk to girls but then i realized that theyre just as stupid as us guys so i tslk to then like a normal human being
>>
>>684942970
>they always have stank pussies....
>>
>>684942075

>i'm a human

Thats exactly what a alien would say
>>
>>684947602
No. No. Nope. Definitly no. No.

The feeling from 120mg of MXE makes any physical pleasure feel like a couple grains of sand dropping on your foot. If it was a choice of 7g of shrooms with 300mg of mdma or fuck ANY chick, I'd take the drugs.
>>
>>684942075
Shave your beard
Work out more, don't be a roidhead though
Fuck your expensive shit, don't try to much.

Read books about it, pretend you are pretty cocky. Talk to every girl. Practise Practise Practise!

Don't but girls on a pedestal, they are just horny people just like you.

Let failure be your friend. Don't think about the no's. Just put goals on how many girls you talk to.

That's the 101 that matters. It's not hard at all, guys just make it hard.
>>
>horny men type bb
>law and order svu
>>
>>684946684
lol
>>
>>684943042
+1.

May as well get the awkwardness out of the way with someone you paid for rather than someone you maybe might kinda possibly have feelings for. Nothing like lasting 14 seconds with your average 6/10 score then she tells all her friends about it.
>>
>>684948387
>If it was a choice of 7g of shrooms with 300mg of mdma or fuck ANY chick, I'd take the drugs.

If it was a (really) hot girl, which is what I'm used to, yeah, I'd take the girl no question.

I'm not sure how you came upon shrooms, which while interesting, are not really all that fun. And 7 is just not exactly a fun dose. I've done it multiple times. You get way too fucked up and can't make any sense of anything.

A good L trip is MUCH more enjoyable than doing shrooms, IMO.

MDMA however is another story and along with meth, I would consider those two to be the most pleasurable drugs.

Now, on their own, (and especially when paired with medical nitrous), the sheer chemical pleasure is probably higher from the drugs, but I still actually prefer sex more...

That is good sex. with a hot girl. There's a big difference with that
>>
I was a virgin until 21, my friend took my to a prostitute, and I have much, MUCH more confidence than half a year ago, when I went to that prostitute, and I actually get dates and go places.


Do it OP.
>>
>>684947858
Interesting, could you elaborate on how ecstasy helped you? I'm only 21 but I'm in the same boat as you were.
>>
>>684947010
Funny thing is most men have already worn out their penises by the time they reach 30 and would rather do drugs and play video games over having sex with their significant other of 5+ years anyway. You're just skipping all the drama.

Not sure whether I commend you or feel sorry for you.
>>
>>684942075
1. remove your gear (chain rings etc is faggotry)
2. go get some drinks
3. find a girl, talk to her about everything but No sex or relationships (she have to start talk about it)
4. look interessed for her stories or life but not her body
5. bring her to your flat
6. Winrar
>>
>>684949287
To be honest, that's kinda what I thought of in middle school. I had a lot of family problems, caused by relationship/children drama.

Bet your ass my first time I won't nut within 10 seconds. Edging/kegel master.
>>
>>684949634
vagina feels a LOT different to hand
no matter how much edging u've done
>>
>>684942075
You realize you are asking 4chan lmao good luck
>>
>>684947901
It's so fucking easy. 90% of girls are like this. You just need to plant yourself in there click by friendzoning a hot friend. Seriously don't even think of her sexually. She'll get comfortable and intro you to her hot friends. Her friends will wanna fuck you and she will get jealous and feel the same
>>
>>684942382
Spelt* Fucking irony
>>
Montréal ou une autre région?
>>
>>684949709
But does the pleasure per minute outweigh the bitching/drama/fights per minute(shut up)? 24 hours in a day, I'm not here to dick around.

Also you don't know how it feels to edge cum for 10 minutes then shoot one out about half a mile away.
>>
>>684949709
different in what way? People always tell me they nut faster when masturbating.
>>
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>>684950000
what a waste.
>>
>>684942075
Not sure what your "standards" are, but if you lower them far enough you can literally fuck anything.

I know a solid 5.5-6/10 who's a little thick for my taste but she has great tits and a gorgeous pussy. I know this because I almost fucked the shit out of her in a hot tub on New Years but she was only at this party because she was mad at her then-boyfriend and I didn't want to get wrapped up in the bullshit. But she was sitting on my lap for a good portion of the time with my dick tip basically splitting the uprights, about 1/2" away from being considered "intercourse".

Later I find out that the guy she's with now is her 50th. That sort-of blew my mind given her "average" appearance with clothes on. Glad I didn't go any deeper.
>>
>>684942075
Go to Taiwan, tell the girls you're married and white.
>>
>>684950080
it's harder to refrain from cumming
vagina pushes all the buttons on your dick
>>
>>684950080
What, are you Kinsey or something?
>>
>>684942341
+1
>>
>>684942341
solve 2 problems at once
pay the escort with your bling bling
>>
>>684949193

When you take it you're filled with happiness and the feeling that nothing could ever go wrong, which gives you a ridiculous confidence boost.

It's probably something chemical too, but I think that the fact that I was talking to random people and feeling good about it, and having them be more receptive than ever before made me realise that I am likeable and just needed to put myself out there.

Since that day I've given much less of a fuck about things, and felt far, far more confident and wanted in general.
>>
>>684950224
how do you deal with this? I can ejac like 10 seconds into a porno if I go hard enough.
>>
>>684950710
after you've had live action sex a few times you start to last a bit longer
condoms increase time
you can vary your motions i.e. not just in/out/in/out
>>
>>684943805
kek
this gotta be best ylyl
>>
>>684950703

did the come down after your first time feel shit? and was it different to the way alcohol and weed give social lubrication?
>>
>>684942075
Your problem is that you're a cretin and you're asking /b/ for help. Bad idea. Really bad idea.

Expensive "gear" won't get you laid, being attractive and being charming will.

Having stuff in your house won't get you laid, being attractive and charming will.

If you're scared of women, that's your problem. Stop being a pussy. Stop thinking of women as someone you get sex from, and you won't be afraid of them. Make friends with them. Chat with them. If you're as attractive as you say, then if you can do that, they will want you.

Nobody cares that you've got "hair and beard game", do you look good? Same with your body, bragging about muscles doesn't mean shit.

OP, I'll front with you. Odds are good you're better looking than me. Yet I can get laid when I want, and you can't. Why? Women like me. Because I'm funny, charming, non-threatening, but I can still be sexually aggressive. Because I don't give a fuck about dressing up to impress them, I dress how I want (That doesn't mean badly, in dirty clothes, it means I don't dress like every other tool trying to impress them). And because when I talk to them, my interest is not in getting laid, because when you talk to them like that, it's noticeable and they won't chat to you.

Chat to women, chat to men, chat to people. Improve your conversation skills and widen your social circle. Most women know more women than guys do, so knowing more women means that your social circle now has more women in it, odds are, someone's going to be attracted to you.

IF, you don't come of as a pretentious, preening, self obsessed moron, blinging himself out, who's too scared to talk to her, but only interested in nutting, `the only thing of which he brings to the table being his posessions.

Wanna see who does best with women? Usually, guys who are already in relationships. Because unless they're scum, they're not trying to get laid, and because they already know how to hold a conversation with a girl.
>>
>>684949634
That doesn't always mean anything.

I typically last 30-45 mins on an "average" sexual experience with someone I've been with for a while.

New pussy or a completely different situation can effect things- a couple years ago the girl I had been with for a while and I were "taking a break" and I ended up hooking up with 9.5/10 who was significantly younger for a minute. Took her to the strip club one night, she drank a bunch and got horny as fuck to the point that I fingered her for the first time AT the strip club right in front of the stage. Took her home and we no sooner made it in the door and fucked on my kitchen floor....I was so horny for this bitch that I blew it in her after what felt like about 40 seconds. Thankfully it worked in my favor because I continued to be so horny for this little bitch that I never lost my hard-on and we proceeded to fuck the rest of the night....but I distinctly recall the second I put it in her pussy the first time thinking "damn, this isn't going to last long".
>>
Kill yourself faggot its already too late for you. Especially if you have all that cool shit and it still hasnt fallen into your lap.
>>
>>684944326
Listen to this guy.

Except for the last part. That's dumb as fuck. You won't get no sympathy if you ask them to fuck. You might get extroadinarily lucky with this terrible technique.

More likely, you get your ass beat by a bouncer, a boyfriend, a male friend, of the girls you're creeping on.

Hell, clubs are a terrible place for that shit. Girls aren't going there to fuck, they're going there to boost their ego by knowing that you want to fuck them.

Talk to them. Even if she doesn't want to hook up, or date, or whatever, making female friends means that you'll always have a large body of women who are interested in you.
>>
>>684951510

It's the same sort of social lube but much moreso, you will want to and be able to talk to anyone. and apart from the social experience it feels amazing anyway so you wont regret taking it (it's called ecstasy for a reason, and it doesn't disappoint).

I don't really get a comedown, I tend to just be a bit of a prick for a few days.

My friends tend to get comedowns really badly, apparently just sadness and wanting to sleep, but I just get a bit snappy.
>>
>>684942075
Dont be scared of women
>>
>>684951820

Oh and don't drink too much while on it, or you'll have the mother of hangovers. I usually have 3-4 pints of beer over the course of the night, with water in between.
>>
>>684951512
that feel when I don't try to get laid and I don't get laid.

But yeah, I don't talk to any women, so that's an issue

not op btw
>>
>>684942428
DUSTIN?
>>
>>684942075
"Pretty tall" means not tall.
"Great calves and traps" means you don't have abs, and you're looking at muscles anyway. Overall, women prefer slimmer guys.
"Strong beard/hair game" means, I don't think my face is attractive.

You're looking at yourself like an object. Make yourself a person worth talking to. And if you really want to assess how hot you are, stop lying to yourself and covering up.

You're under 6 foot, you've got at best, a runner's bod (Which is good, chicks love that), at worst, you're just fat and you're defending it with your calves and traps.

You're bragging about your hair (Which is probably being laughed at) and your beard (Which is a mixed bag with women, some find it attractive, some don't. Universally what it says is-kissing me may be unpleasant, so if you're not handsome in other ways or charming, it's not helping)

Make yourself more fuckable. Make yourself worth hanging out with. Get some hobbies (Not an ice machine or deep frying). Get some friends. Socialise. Hang out in mixed company. Don't creep too much.

Don't focus on getting fucked.
>>
>>684942075
how are u at handling chloroform? you also gonna need a large van

you can start with an escort that gives message and happy ending
>>
>>684944326
How did you write all that great advice, then morph into a dumbass in your last couple of sentences? You took the ball all the way down the field, then fumbled at the one yard line.
>>
I'm not OP.
But help me /b/
I was married for 3 years, I used to be great with women, I was never single, I used to get laid like crazy, or was in a relationship.

But now I can't even get a phone number, or strike up conversation.
I'm a passionate, interesting person, I can bullshit my way though things I don't know but I've got a lot working in my head.
I'm hard working, and moderately attractive.

Fucking help me.

Ignore the faggoty eyeliner, I had just gotten home from a small bar gig.
>>
>>684952049
If you don't go in desperately trying to get laid, ain't nothing to be disappointed about. It's your own mental game. If you're looking for sex, you're obvious. And it's creepy, unless you're ridiculously hot.

By don't try, I mean don't go in to encounters looking to have sex with women. Go in looking to make a new friend. It'll help your nerves, your confidence, you'll be more charming, relaxed, and attractive, and if she's not interested in you, you've still just made a new friend.

She's got friends, more of them are likely women, now you've got a bunch of female acquiantances. That improves your ability to talk to them. Not being scared of them or creeping on them, being mature, actually makes you more attractive. Your best bet is finding women who are interested in you, not in trying to convince women to be interested in you.

Chat to women, and chat to people. Guys who join in on groups and only talk to the women are SUPER OBVIOUS. Every guy there is looking for a reason to turf you out, and the girls can tell they're being creeped on. Make the wrong move and the guys are going to freeze you out. Plus, for all you know, he could be your buddy too. It's about being social.
>>
>>684942338
This is your problem right here. All chicks in Canada are lesbians.
>>
>>684942075
> I'm a human

Not for long motherfucker.
30 = Wizard.
>>
>>684952594
ikr.

Like, you do that irl, and someone will fuck your shit up. And you won't get laid. And people will remember you as a fucking creep.
>>
>>684948467
>don't be a roidhead though
Kek, faggot
>>
>>684952896
Clean yourself up. 90's grunge is dead...at best you're going to attract a bunch of coke whores.
>>
>>684952896
You're ugly as fuck man
>>
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>>684952896
My body. I know I've got left over Dad Body, but I'm still working on it
Ignore the stupid pose.

6'1.5 180-195lbs
>>
>>684953131
dumbass. Studies show that your muscles only impress you and other men. Oh, and gay guys.

Women prefer you to have some definition, but if you're "big", you're less attractive. And people who's only interest is the gym are fucking boring.
>>
>>684953255
I didn't used to be. What the fuck happened in the last 10 years?
>>
>>684952896
Hygene, just get in shape, stay clean
Oh, and stop giving a fuck, i used to get jack shit, now idgaf and puss rolls in
>>
>>684947010
>could care less
>>
>>684953368
I stopped giving a fuck in 2003.

No joke, I literally don't understand a good 2/3s of the shit women talk about anymore. I used to be able to talk to them about shit.
And why are there so many 20 year old single mothers.
I don't understand this anymore and I'm scared and angry.
>>
>>684952896
Sounds like the only thing holding yourself back is your confidence. I've never known a guitar player that can't get any pussy.
>>
>>684943517
I'm starting to think that they do this shit just for 4chan.
>>
>>684942075
Why do you need to get laid before 30? Are you afraid to become a wizard?
>>
>>684942075
Ay OP my advice would be first get comfortable being social if you arent. This is easy, just see mates every day for a week and speak your mind at all times without fear of being judged. Then go out to the bars/pubs/clubs and have 3-4 beers. Instead of just going up to hit on a girl tell your mates "Hey boys Im gonna go try and fuck that slut over there" and your mates wont judge you (weird tip but it works, makes it a game so its more fun) then see what happens. Desensitize yourself to it and you feel more comfortable doing it. And dont be a sad cunt, if you are the chances of getting a root are slim. Seriously tho those 2 tips work a charm, try it out and make it a habit and it happens easy.
>>
Willing to make a trade with OP.
Buy me a two-way ticket, I'll supply you with my body and some pizza.

bonus points if OP has two PCs.
>>
>>684953586
I've always had a sort of cocksure swagger, I still got that going for me, you know, cheeky and shit. I'm pretty confident, I just literally can't relate to most anything a woman says anymore, I don't understand any of this lingo they use, literally at least one word a sentence at times that I have to look up later.
What is fleek even?

Also, my charm seems to be repulsing women when it never used to, I'm not a creeper or anything, and I used to get told I was smooth all the time.

I don't understand
>>
>>684953906
Shit bitch. I'll supply you a house and a comfy lifestyle, do you like punk music? I play punk music.
How you doin?
>>
>>684953906
This just got interesting
>>
>>684953538
You clearly give a fuck. You're scared and angry, and your first post was upset. "I can't even" "help me /b/" [brags about how good he is and doesn't understand why he isn't getting what he wants] "Fucking help me"

Stop giving a fuck about that. Stop feeling pathetic. It shows. You need to put effort into yourself. You're overweight, you need to wash your skin, and you've got half grown facial hair. Apart from that, hey, your face isn't that bad. For all the "faggoty"ness of the eyeliner it looks good on you. Put in a tiny bit of effort and you'd be passable.

>Why are there so many 20 year old single mothers.
Because there are always trashy teens, and scummy boys they fuck. None of them are worthwhile. They were always there, you're just noticing them now. Tinder is a bitch like that. Ignore them. They're the sort who got knocked up in their teens, they're not interesting people, and you're stuck with a kid with a partner with no prospects with some deadbeat dad still in the picture.
>I don't understand what they're talking about.
Then you're talking to the wrong ones. You need to talk to people who are interested in what you're interested in. You were at a gig? You look like you like music, I mean, you're clearly trying to pull the Kurt Cobain bit. Why not talk to women in the music scene? Why not chat to people at gigs.

Failing that, you could ask them about it, that way you've already got a conversation-they're explaining something to you.

Failing that, you could actually talk to women. Like you said, it's been 10 fucking years.
>>
>>684954019

Pretty much every stupid word like "fleek" either means good or bad.

Context should make it obvious which it is.
>>
>>684953906
pretty lips
>>
07943 561000

cheap easy sex
>>
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Is that you OP?
>>
>>684953906
w00t
>>
>>684954202

Small tip, don't call a girl "bitch" the first time you open your mouth to them.
>>
>>684953906
older timestamp from previous adventures in /b/
I'm not the most attractive person in the world, but you're looking to get laid and i'm looking for someone to play video games with for a few days.
I can teach you what you need to know, you can buy me Steam games (Stellaris looks interesting? We could both totally play.)
>>
>>684942075
Get rid of your "expensive gear" except the watch. Rings N shit does'nt look good on men, unless they Are 16 or married. Neither does the gold chain.

Women wont kill you. (:
>>
HAY DO YOU LIKE PUNK MUSIC I PLAY IT
>>
>>684942075
>genuine gold chain, watch, couple rings
you need escort, sorry bro
>>
>>684954693
>older timestamp from previous adventures in /b/
wrong picture.

this is the intended photo.
>>
>>684953368
>stop giving a fuck

There is some truth behind this. I notice that when I try to get a girl to like me, it ends up with her having me buy her things but she won't give me any pussy. But when I stop replying to all her texts, stop answering her calls on the first ring, stop telling her / lying about how beautiful she is, she all of a sudden becomes sexually aggressive.
>>
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>>684954693
Get to Sweden and i'll give you my whole life
>>
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>>684942075
>escorts are not an option, i'm a human
>>
>>684954693
show ass and vag, then we will start talking
>>
>>684954555
It's some whore offering nearly free pussy on /b/ who admits she's unattractive.
Not calling her a bitch would be disrespectful to whatever plethora of issues she's obviously dealing with.
She's willing to be an object in exchange for some video games.

>>684954693
Am I right, bitch? You're 100% the type to beg for a fishhook while getting your face smashed into some pillows, aren't you?
>>
>>684954693
do you got skype? whats your steam id?
>>
>>684954779
Ofc its real. -.-
>>
>>684954019
How old are you?
>>
>>684954693
she's asking for you to buy her things off the bat, not a good sign.

Walk away from this site, take pressure off yourself, immerse yourself in society and sooner or later you'll find someone. Look at it like a numbers game, don't expect to find anyone straight away. each time you leave the house and go to the event you're increasing ods.
>>
>>684942338
Va au skins puis pop une MD
>>
>>684954789
That's great when you want to get laid, I don't want to get laid. (grunge guy from up there)
I want another relationship, I've been single for over a year and, while I don't hate waking up alone, I'm starting to miss having someone there beside me.

I've heard that this method doesn't work for attracting stable long term partners.
>>
>>684954779
Christ, I would put up with all the types of shit you'd probably have to endure to get with that.
>>
>>684954742
Yeah, a watch is enough for a man
>>
>>684955248
She's just a cam whore, move along.
>>
>>684954979

The worst thing you can do with a girl is point out to her that she's being slutty.

It makes her feel like a slut and think you're an asshole for saying it.
>>
>>684955021
asking for steam games so that there's something new we could both try. where's the fun in a cookie-cutter gmaing lifestyle. If OP owns Rust or something, i'm perfectly content.

>>684955335
I've never cam whored, actually.

>>684954995
see cat slippers?
>>684954779
>>
>>684955518
You're literally posting your body on /b/ with oh so subtle tips towards a steam game.
I bet you lurk from thread to thread like these trying to scam off desperate faggots.
Get the fuck out of here, slut.
>>
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>>684947683
Sauce?
>>
>>684955435
She's a whore on /b/. This isn't a real life interaction. I'm never going to fuck this chick, let alone meet this chick and therefore I don't give a fuck.
>>
>>684955518
i'm dumb and willing steam name? skype name?
>>
>>684955650
>offer to take op's virginity provided i have a way home and back
>offer to buy OP pizza with video gaming dates

>trying to scam desperate faggots

kek.
>>
>>684942075
Nah man, you're not scared of women, you're scared of rejection. Go to a gay bar, chat up faggots (deny them anything sexual, of course) and get used to the game, realize women are just like that, move on to women.
>>
LOL @ No escort.

If you are that bothered, find an escort that is paying her way through college or some shit, treat her better than the average joe would. Good deed and get your end away, I fail to see the problem.
>>
>>684954875

i know right? wtf
>>
>>684955700

this is a thread about getting laid in real life. Just pointing something out you silly cunt.
>>
>>684955806
>Wants a free vacation
>Whoring herself out for plane tickets
>Offsets the difference with pizza and vagina.

OP could hire a top notch whore for less than a round trip plane ticket and he'd end up with the same result.
Most whores are pretty nice girls, he'd get the exact same experience, fleeting sex with a stranger who is going to leave and he'll never see again.
>>
>>684954779
not op but can you post ass? also i think you would do a good thing, some guys just need to get their cherry popped to understand sex isnt about love
>>
>>684952907
You give pretty solid advice. Feels like I know a lot of this stuff already but it's the execution that's difficult. Anxiety/depression really is a bitch.

But isn't it true that pick-up artists who go into interactions purely for sex get a ton of girls?
>>
@684942341
How do I up vote this funny comment? xD top fam
>>
>>684953906
Let me stick it in your pooper and I will buy you whatever you want.
>>
>>684956965
Gr8 b8 m8.
>>
>>684942075
F that, get an escort. Even at $300/hr for model quality ass, its cheaper / less hassle than relationship bullshit, they fuck way better, it will help with your fear and it will get you over the hump before you turn into a wizard.
>>
>>684942075
they probably think you're gay because you wear a bunch of jewellery and avoid them. plus you are fit which means you work out which can mean you're gay
>>
>>684943042
Hellllllll no. Imagine getting herpes or worse from fucking a hooker? Sex will be even more elusive forever after
>>
god just sitting here waiting for an asspic. spread it baby.
>>
>>684942188
I live in Dallas!
>>
>>684954693
georgeous!
>>
You have to realize that girls want to be asked out. Plus they aren't about getting serious so get that shit out of your head. Can't go out with a girl and on 1st date thinking I can't mess this up or its over. When u think about the shy shit it's more funny that you were stupid enough to believe it. Laugh at the mistakes and you'll realize this isn't as serious as it sounds now have some fun
>>
>>684954779
fucking hot
>>
>>684955518
what area are you in?
>>
>>684944326

>hey baby, wanna fuck tonight?
>literally the most autistic advice in here
>>
>>684953358
Apparently no bathing.
>>
>>684950000
spelt is only british. spelled is also correct. wasted trips.
>>
>>684942075
mate, this works sweet as, go to a death metal gig to get a chick/chicks. you dont wanna fuck some mexican looking dorito cheese twat with shit for brains. pick up a real girl.

all it takes is to mosh hard with them for the gig, have a few after beers and smoko aswell as during, then your fucking sussed m8, plus you get to pick what ya want from the pit.
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