im a 28 year old virgin and I NEED to get layed before 30. escorts are not an option, i'm a human
My features >pretty tall >muscles (great calves and traps) >strong beard/hair game >expensive gear (genuine gold chain, watch, couple rings) >my own flat with all the necessary shit (bonus: ice machine and home fryer)
Can you guys pls help me get layed? Give me some tips and shit. My weakness is im scared of women
>What scares you about women? When I am faced with an attractive woman I get shivers down my spine, I just freeze. Dunno what to say or do I can't even think properly. I just think "she knows im a pussy" etc
>>684942075 lose your accessories except for the watch. a nice watch and a belt are the only accessories that man needs (if any). if you try to look like a christmas tree no wonder girls will run away. less is more.
>>684942674 Understandable, though I bet the biggest problem is that you try to repress it, put on an act, your gold chain and watch, make some fries to hide the fact you are afraid.
Ever just spoke to them? Ever really just said "I'm very nervous around people, especially women".
You'll find a bit of honesty and self awareness goes a long way, as most of us can see right through the act, if you drop it you'll find yourself with people who feel the same, and who want to be around the same..That's why I don't go to da club anymore, ignore bitches with that fake smile and a pound of makeup, dressed up like they're on the fucking red carpet. Give me real people.
Most people are walking facsimiles of what they see on TV and magazines.
>>684943621 I love my mother and I speak to her on the phone almost everyday. I am not scared around ugly women, I can talk to them about work and weather and stuff. They are just like friends you know. But as soon as I get interested sexually I am fucked.
I hear what many of you say here about being real but I swear the real me is shit. This world we live in is very superficial and I think it's the best way to get layed
>If you say, pretty tall that prolly means you are 5'10 >women only care about abs. i am pretty fit myself and other than abs and maybe pecs women never mire anything else. you don't even need the most toned of abs, just don't have a gut, no one cares about traps other than men
>expensive gear >genuine gold chain It's not even the fact that you have gear it's the fact that you actually think it's important. If you are not sporting a rolex have a car dress semi formal all the time, no one gives a shit about your accessories.
>ice machine >home fryer Meme shit that no one cares for.
If you want advice. Post your face. It is literally the equalizer. If you ugo, you will never make it at 28 with all the attached insecurities that come with being a virgin at 28 and being a sperg who thinks having a genuine gold chain and a home fryer yields any advantages in the dating game.
Literally go to a club, dress your best, and ask every single woman there, if they want to have sex with you. Just try to look your most confident and go for the ones that you don't like as well. Your dick doesn't have eyes, and "Hey baby, wanna fuck tonight?" is a good way to start. Leave the gold chain at home you fucking kissless chav.
I went to Quebec a couple years ago, beautiful town with beautiful women. A lot of the city is very traditional and quiet (as far as Canadian standards go) and your competition is literally butt fucking ugly eurofag wannabes. So you're in a city where all the ugly fucks learned how to swoon women with there words and style and somehow you just missed that entire fucking skill set. You are outclassed and need to GO TO A DIFFERENT CITY. A wild, young, sloppy college slut ville. Stay out of the fancy clubs. You will have a way better chance in Montreal or the outskirts of Toronto
>>684943652 kek, a man using fryer has no relation to being a good cook. women like men who can cook healthy food well. if i wanted fast food i would go to fast food restaurant. if someone was cooking for me i would expect that to be something nice (simple, good tasting and healthy)
>>684945817 i am not, and don't expect me to believe that everyone in america is eating so unhealthy. yeah, i get that the stereotype is not made up of nothing, but there are people who like decent food. it has nothing to do with the country. i refuse to believe that everyone/ a large majority in one country love to eat shit so much.
I'm a 26 year old kissless virgin and I could care less. If it happens it happens. I'm completly fine with my life. Why the fuck do people need to validate their life by putting their penis in a vagina? The most basic human thing.
I could if I wanted but I'm too busy playing video games and doing drugs.
>>684947093 This guy doesn't even know the subject! I'm laughing so fucking hard right now. I could imagine some fucking neckbeard joining a thread and instantly replying to talk shit before you could finish reading the thread
>>684942075 stop being a pussy and go to a bar preferrably one where the music aint so loud so you can actually talk and hear each other, buy her a couple drinks and your good to go. seriously buddy its not that difficult and its probably not going to happen your first try but eventually it will. it hasnt happen to you it because your not allowing it to happen
>>684942674 dude drink and get a decent buzz your fear will fade away, i used to be afraid to talk to girls but then i realized that theyre just as stupid as us guys so i tslk to then like a normal human being
The feeling from 120mg of MXE makes any physical pleasure feel like a couple grains of sand dropping on your foot. If it was a choice of 7g of shrooms with 300mg of mdma or fuck ANY chick, I'd take the drugs.
May as well get the awkwardness out of the way with someone you paid for rather than someone you maybe might kinda possibly have feelings for. Nothing like lasting 14 seconds with your average 6/10 score then she tells all her friends about it.
>>684948387 >If it was a choice of 7g of shrooms with 300mg of mdma or fuck ANY chick, I'd take the drugs.
If it was a (really) hot girl, which is what I'm used to, yeah, I'd take the girl no question.
I'm not sure how you came upon shrooms, which while interesting, are not really all that fun. And 7 is just not exactly a fun dose. I've done it multiple times. You get way too fucked up and can't make any sense of anything.
A good L trip is MUCH more enjoyable than doing shrooms, IMO.
MDMA however is another story and along with meth, I would consider those two to be the most pleasurable drugs.
Now, on their own, (and especially when paired with medical nitrous), the sheer chemical pleasure is probably higher from the drugs, but I still actually prefer sex more...
That is good sex. with a hot girl. There's a big difference with that
>>684947010 Funny thing is most men have already worn out their penises by the time they reach 30 and would rather do drugs and play video games over having sex with their significant other of 5+ years anyway. You're just skipping all the drama.
Not sure whether I commend you or feel sorry for you.
>>684942075 1. remove your gear (chain rings etc is faggotry) 2. go get some drinks 3. find a girl, talk to her about everything but No sex or relationships (she have to start talk about it) 4. look interessed for her stories or life but not her body 5. bring her to your flat 6. Winrar
>>684947901 It's so fucking easy. 90% of girls are like this. You just need to plant yourself in there click by friendzoning a hot friend. Seriously don't even think of her sexually. She'll get comfortable and intro you to her hot friends. Her friends will wanna fuck you and she will get jealous and feel the same
>>684942075 Not sure what your "standards" are, but if you lower them far enough you can literally fuck anything.
I know a solid 5.5-6/10 who's a little thick for my taste but she has great tits and a gorgeous pussy. I know this because I almost fucked the shit out of her in a hot tub on New Years but she was only at this party because she was mad at her then-boyfriend and I didn't want to get wrapped up in the bullshit. But she was sitting on my lap for a good portion of the time with my dick tip basically splitting the uprights, about 1/2" away from being considered "intercourse".
Later I find out that the guy she's with now is her 50th. That sort-of blew my mind given her "average" appearance with clothes on. Glad I didn't go any deeper.
When you take it you're filled with happiness and the feeling that nothing could ever go wrong, which gives you a ridiculous confidence boost.
It's probably something chemical too, but I think that the fact that I was talking to random people and feeling good about it, and having them be more receptive than ever before made me realise that I am likeable and just needed to put myself out there.
Since that day I've given much less of a fuck about things, and felt far, far more confident and wanted in general.
>>684942075 Your problem is that you're a cretin and you're asking /b/ for help. Bad idea. Really bad idea.
Expensive "gear" won't get you laid, being attractive and being charming will.
Having stuff in your house won't get you laid, being attractive and charming will.
If you're scared of women, that's your problem. Stop being a pussy. Stop thinking of women as someone you get sex from, and you won't be afraid of them. Make friends with them. Chat with them. If you're as attractive as you say, then if you can do that, they will want you.
Nobody cares that you've got "hair and beard game", do you look good? Same with your body, bragging about muscles doesn't mean shit.
OP, I'll front with you. Odds are good you're better looking than me. Yet I can get laid when I want, and you can't. Why? Women like me. Because I'm funny, charming, non-threatening, but I can still be sexually aggressive. Because I don't give a fuck about dressing up to impress them, I dress how I want (That doesn't mean badly, in dirty clothes, it means I don't dress like every other tool trying to impress them). And because when I talk to them, my interest is not in getting laid, because when you talk to them like that, it's noticeable and they won't chat to you.
Chat to women, chat to men, chat to people. Improve your conversation skills and widen your social circle. Most women know more women than guys do, so knowing more women means that your social circle now has more women in it, odds are, someone's going to be attracted to you.
IF, you don't come of as a pretentious, preening, self obsessed moron, blinging himself out, who's too scared to talk to her, but only interested in nutting, `the only thing of which he brings to the table being his posessions.
Wanna see who does best with women? Usually, guys who are already in relationships. Because unless they're scum, they're not trying to get laid, and because they already know how to hold a conversation with a girl.
I typically last 30-45 mins on an "average" sexual experience with someone I've been with for a while.
New pussy or a completely different situation can effect things- a couple years ago the girl I had been with for a while and I were "taking a break" and I ended up hooking up with 9.5/10 who was significantly younger for a minute. Took her to the strip club one night, she drank a bunch and got horny as fuck to the point that I fingered her for the first time AT the strip club right in front of the stage. Took her home and we no sooner made it in the door and fucked on my kitchen floor....I was so horny for this bitch that I blew it in her after what felt like about 40 seconds. Thankfully it worked in my favor because I continued to be so horny for this little bitch that I never lost my hard-on and we proceeded to fuck the rest of the night....but I distinctly recall the second I put it in her pussy the first time thinking "damn, this isn't going to last long".
It's the same sort of social lube but much moreso, you will want to and be able to talk to anyone. and apart from the social experience it feels amazing anyway so you wont regret taking it (it's called ecstasy for a reason, and it doesn't disappoint).
I don't really get a comedown, I tend to just be a bit of a prick for a few days.
My friends tend to get comedowns really badly, apparently just sadness and wanting to sleep, but I just get a bit snappy.
>>684942075 "Pretty tall" means not tall. "Great calves and traps" means you don't have abs, and you're looking at muscles anyway. Overall, women prefer slimmer guys. "Strong beard/hair game" means, I don't think my face is attractive.
You're looking at yourself like an object. Make yourself a person worth talking to. And if you really want to assess how hot you are, stop lying to yourself and covering up.
You're under 6 foot, you've got at best, a runner's bod (Which is good, chicks love that), at worst, you're just fat and you're defending it with your calves and traps.
You're bragging about your hair (Which is probably being laughed at) and your beard (Which is a mixed bag with women, some find it attractive, some don't. Universally what it says is-kissing me may be unpleasant, so if you're not handsome in other ways or charming, it's not helping)
Make yourself more fuckable. Make yourself worth hanging out with. Get some hobbies (Not an ice machine or deep frying). Get some friends. Socialise. Hang out in mixed company. Don't creep too much.
I'm not OP. But help me /b/ I was married for 3 years, I used to be great with women, I was never single, I used to get laid like crazy, or was in a relationship.
But now I can't even get a phone number, or strike up conversation. I'm a passionate, interesting person, I can bullshit my way though things I don't know but I've got a lot working in my head. I'm hard working, and moderately attractive.
Fucking help me.
Ignore the faggoty eyeliner, I had just gotten home from a small bar gig.
>>684952049 If you don't go in desperately trying to get laid, ain't nothing to be disappointed about. It's your own mental game. If you're looking for sex, you're obvious. And it's creepy, unless you're ridiculously hot.
By don't try, I mean don't go in to encounters looking to have sex with women. Go in looking to make a new friend. It'll help your nerves, your confidence, you'll be more charming, relaxed, and attractive, and if she's not interested in you, you've still just made a new friend.
She's got friends, more of them are likely women, now you've got a bunch of female acquiantances. That improves your ability to talk to them. Not being scared of them or creeping on them, being mature, actually makes you more attractive. Your best bet is finding women who are interested in you, not in trying to convince women to be interested in you.
Chat to women, and chat to people. Guys who join in on groups and only talk to the women are SUPER OBVIOUS. Every guy there is looking for a reason to turf you out, and the girls can tell they're being creeped on. Make the wrong move and the guys are going to freeze you out. Plus, for all you know, he could be your buddy too. It's about being social.
No joke, I literally don't understand a good 2/3s of the shit women talk about anymore. I used to be able to talk to them about shit. And why are there so many 20 year old single mothers. I don't understand this anymore and I'm scared and angry.
>>684942075 Ay OP my advice would be first get comfortable being social if you arent. This is easy, just see mates every day for a week and speak your mind at all times without fear of being judged. Then go out to the bars/pubs/clubs and have 3-4 beers. Instead of just going up to hit on a girl tell your mates "Hey boys Im gonna go try and fuck that slut over there" and your mates wont judge you (weird tip but it works, makes it a game so its more fun) then see what happens. Desensitize yourself to it and you feel more comfortable doing it. And dont be a sad cunt, if you are the chances of getting a root are slim. Seriously tho those 2 tips work a charm, try it out and make it a habit and it happens easy.
>>684953586 I've always had a sort of cocksure swagger, I still got that going for me, you know, cheeky and shit. I'm pretty confident, I just literally can't relate to most anything a woman says anymore, I don't understand any of this lingo they use, literally at least one word a sentence at times that I have to look up later. What is fleek even?
Also, my charm seems to be repulsing women when it never used to, I'm not a creeper or anything, and I used to get told I was smooth all the time.
>>684953538 You clearly give a fuck. You're scared and angry, and your first post was upset. "I can't even" "help me /b/" [brags about how good he is and doesn't understand why he isn't getting what he wants] "Fucking help me"
Stop giving a fuck about that. Stop feeling pathetic. It shows. You need to put effort into yourself. You're overweight, you need to wash your skin, and you've got half grown facial hair. Apart from that, hey, your face isn't that bad. For all the "faggoty"ness of the eyeliner it looks good on you. Put in a tiny bit of effort and you'd be passable.
>Why are there so many 20 year old single mothers. Because there are always trashy teens, and scummy boys they fuck. None of them are worthwhile. They were always there, you're just noticing them now. Tinder is a bitch like that. Ignore them. They're the sort who got knocked up in their teens, they're not interesting people, and you're stuck with a kid with a partner with no prospects with some deadbeat dad still in the picture. >I don't understand what they're talking about. Then you're talking to the wrong ones. You need to talk to people who are interested in what you're interested in. You were at a gig? You look like you like music, I mean, you're clearly trying to pull the Kurt Cobain bit. Why not talk to women in the music scene? Why not chat to people at gigs.
Failing that, you could ask them about it, that way you've already got a conversation-they're explaining something to you.
Failing that, you could actually talk to women. Like you said, it's been 10 fucking years.
>>684953906 older timestamp from previous adventures in /b/ I'm not the most attractive person in the world, but you're looking to get laid and i'm looking for someone to play video games with for a few days. I can teach you what you need to know, you can buy me Steam games (Stellaris looks interesting? We could both totally play.)
There is some truth behind this. I notice that when I try to get a girl to like me, it ends up with her having me buy her things but she won't give me any pussy. But when I stop replying to all her texts, stop answering her calls on the first ring, stop telling her / lying about how beautiful she is, she all of a sudden becomes sexually aggressive.
>>684954555 It's some whore offering nearly free pussy on /b/ who admits she's unattractive. Not calling her a bitch would be disrespectful to whatever plethora of issues she's obviously dealing with. She's willing to be an object in exchange for some video games.
>>684954693 Am I right, bitch? You're 100% the type to beg for a fishhook while getting your face smashed into some pillows, aren't you?
>>684954693 she's asking for you to buy her things off the bat, not a good sign.
Walk away from this site, take pressure off yourself, immerse yourself in society and sooner or later you'll find someone. Look at it like a numbers game, don't expect to find anyone straight away. each time you leave the house and go to the event you're increasing ods.
>>684954789 That's great when you want to get laid, I don't want to get laid. (grunge guy from up there) I want another relationship, I've been single for over a year and, while I don't hate waking up alone, I'm starting to miss having someone there beside me.
I've heard that this method doesn't work for attracting stable long term partners.
>>684955518 You're literally posting your body on /b/ with oh so subtle tips towards a steam game. I bet you lurk from thread to thread like these trying to scam off desperate faggots. Get the fuck out of here, slut.
>>684942075 Nah man, you're not scared of women, you're scared of rejection. Go to a gay bar, chat up faggots (deny them anything sexual, of course) and get used to the game, realize women are just like that, move on to women.
>>684955806 >Wants a free vacation >Whoring herself out for plane tickets >Offsets the difference with pizza and vagina.
OP could hire a top notch whore for less than a round trip plane ticket and he'd end up with the same result. Most whores are pretty nice girls, he'd get the exact same experience, fleeting sex with a stranger who is going to leave and he'll never see again.
>>684942075 F that, get an escort. Even at $300/hr for model quality ass, its cheaper / less hassle than relationship bullshit, they fuck way better, it will help with your fear and it will get you over the hump before you turn into a wizard.
You have to realize that girls want to be asked out. Plus they aren't about getting serious so get that shit out of your head. Can't go out with a girl and on 1st date thinking I can't mess this up or its over. When u think about the shy shit it's more funny that you were stupid enough to believe it. Laugh at the mistakes and you'll realize this isn't as serious as it sounds now have some fun
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