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Ask drunk me and my cat anything. (The cat is not drunk, just me)

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 292
Thread images: 64

Ask drunk me and my cat anything. (The cat is not drunk, just me)
>>
Can we see your tits?
>>
Can you show tits?
>>
Please, tits?
>>
>the cat is not drunk

Oh, good. I was worried.
>>
Can we see your mammary glands?
>>
>>684928846
Bronwen?
>>
>>684928846
If I get trips, would you have sex with three of us, and have your cat act as the camera man?
>>
Why isn't the cat drunk?
>>
>>684928846
Have your cat post op. You're too drunk and slow
>>
>>684929051

My cat would be the loud drunk.
>>
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>>684928846
Why are you so ugly? Why do you own cats? Kill yourself
>>
>>684928898
>>684928957
>>684929048
>>684929116

i guess but this isnt cat related...
>>
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>>684928846
>>
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>>684929721
those are some bad man tits ya got bro, do you even lift?
>>
>>684928846
GET THE CAT DRUNK RIGHT MEOW
>>
>>684930010
>>
sweety show us more :-*
>>
>>684930126

i tortured him enough today by putting him in a dog harness and trying to walk him.
>>
>>684929842
yes now the thread can proceed normally, thanks for following the rules
>>
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>>684929842
Ok thnx pls stop posting now bye
>>
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>>684929842
>>
>>684930184
exactly why he need to unwind
>>
>>684930191

i try.

do you have any questions for my cat tho
>>
>>684929842
would you shlickle my peeny for a gold coin?
>>
>>684930256

is it a pretty gold coin?
>>
>>684928846
ew
>>
>>684930249
yeah whats is favorite alcoholic drink
>>
don't give the cat alcohol. don't make me turn this thread into a murder
>>
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>>684930144
My cats wouldn't put up with that
>>
>>684930329

in the form of a question please
>>
>>684930366

i wont give the cat alcohol. believe me
>>
>>684930366

only a little bit wouldn't hurt you nigger
>>
>>684930249

What is it's name? Looks a lot like my cat
>>
>>684930419
what the fuck is wrong with you
>>
op ask your cat who he is voting for.
>>
>>684928846
why isnt the cat drunk?
>>
>>684930346

I'd probably have to say either a Greyhound or a Screwdriver. Vodka is my jigglyjam but tonight I had some weird tequila and spice shit at the bar
>>
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>>684930144
why torture your kitty?
he didn't make your boobs sag like an old guys balls
>>
>>684930370

my cat puts up with a lot
>>
>>684930459

his name is Nova.

Kind of a bitch name bnut it's what the shelter had for him so i went with it.
>>
>>684930510

He says Trump will make America great again.

Build a wall and keep all the fucking mice out
>>
>>684930689
looks more like a blackhole
>>
>>684930539
nice
>>
>>684928846
spreading ur pussy? :3
>>
>>684930817

his hole is not black tho
>>
>>684929842

Cat on tits?
>>
>>684930632
Mine were both shelter too. The gray one was infested with ear mites and ringworm. I saved his little ass
>>
>>684930876

i did my fair share of posting my body on /b/ tonight. not getting too many positive comments so i'll pass on the pussy
>>
>>684930876
why would you want to see a spread cat?
>>
>>684930956

awwwwww :(

Not even five days after I took mine home he got a nasty bladder infection that must have been pre existing
>>
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>>684930791
ay! fuck you puta bitch
>>
>>684929842
Ok, I kinda want to see more.
>>
>>684930328
Coin be shiny as fuck
>>
Kill yourself.
>>
>>684930984
wha-- where the fuck do you think you are right now?
>not getting too many positive comments

like really? WE ARE NOT POSITIVE PEOPLE FUCKING DYKE
>>
>>684928846
how long have you been on 4chan? you seem to be well informed about the tits rule
>>
>>684931130

stealing all our damn treats and shit >.>
>>
>>684931177

ok
>>
>>684930144
https://m facebook com/photo.php?fbid=1071507816225513
Don't use Facebook pics my friend :^)
>>
>>684931239

you caught me

i'm a fucking pussy loving dyke (see first photo you can see i am with the pussy)
>>
>>684930984
just because your tits look like bean bags and you got more stretch marks than a 70s trampoline don't mean we won't fap to your beastly vagoo
>>
>>684931314

scary shit.

Didn't know that could be done. GG.
>>
>>684931495

Fair enough. It is the internet after all.
>>
>>684931090
Where are you from
>>
>>684931314
that link took me to some russian guy weird
>>
Can you please share your ass with us femanon?
>>
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>>684931770
I will not friend you, don't even ask.
>>
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What about showing ya feets? Because fuck it, drunk stuff
>>
did she get scared because we found her?
>>
>>684929842
hawt
>>
>>684931814

i guess

this one is an old one that i think is already circulating from soc so if you've already seen it sucks for you im too lazy to go take another one
>>
>>684932096

a little bit and i've been fidgeting with my security settings but i mean whatever i guess
>>
>>684931975

yeah give me one second hold on
>>
>>684932180
thanks! You are very attractive! Whats your cats name.
>>
>>684930901
bumping this one
>>
have you considered trying it cat? it tastes pretty alright
>>
whose the prettiest pussy?
not you bitch, I am asking the kitty cat...
>>
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>>684932327
you are the cats pajamas
>>
>>684932180
love it.(:
>>
>>684931975
>>
>>684929842
Absolutely terrible.
>>
>>684932566
Nice dubs, and this is a REAL question! Bumping dat shiet
>>
>>684932611
fallout monopoly?? play a round with your cats
>>
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http://poal.me/g0fnxc
>>
>>684932611
I need more, yet I cant hog the attention
>>
>>684930901
>>684932472

I'm trying but he just wants to sleep
>>
/b/ sure does love ugly cat bitches.
>>
>>684932566
>>684932720

Nova says: Orangey is by far the prettiest cat of them all. Not only famous for their acting work but famous amongst us cats for their GORGEOUS coat!
>>
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>>684928846
More feet?
>>
>>684932963
they make us feel less disgusting
>>
>>684932892

how do you foot photo tho
>>
>>684932741

Close enough?
>>
>>684932918
Try harder, please
>>
>>684933370
You're better than that.
>>
>>684933605
I suggest going at a good angle? Soles are appreciated <3 Doing good so far, yo
>>
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>>684933679
Okay, marry me?
>>
>>684933753
Please tell me that's how you speak in real life.
>>
>>684933818
You'd spend the rest of your life with this this ugly, saggy titty, stretch marked monster?
>>
>>684933837
Unfortunately, yes. Kill me.
>>
>>684933718

This is the best it's gonna get. He won't sit still unless he's on my bed
>>
>>684933906
Eh, beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
>>
>>684933995
put boobs on his head for the lols? XD
>>
>>684934034
It's called desperation. Don't get the two confused.
>>
pussy on pussy?
>>
>>684934034

thank you
>>
You have a black cat, and fallout merch?
I have a black cat and fallout merch.
we should fuck
>>
>>684933974
No. Kill Yourself, yo.
>>
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>>684933995
kek
>>
>>684934226
Don't forget to bring your harpoon with you, Ahab.
>>
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>>684934150
You could be right, but these days, i dont see the difference. People get lonely, so look for the best in people. even if it's some shitty similar interest like the fallout franchise.
>>
>>684934226

but do you have an emergency can of beans at your bed side?
>>
>>684934149
This
>>
>>684934226
Damn Casanova, calm down.
At least offer her some donuts to get her wet first.
>>
>>684934284
Not planning to an hero today. Ill keep it i mind though
>>
>>684934430
These are the REAl questions LMAO
>>
>>684934409
So you're going to disregard *actual* beauty and just say, "eh, I'll take what I can get"?
>>
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>>684928846

You're just lovely, write to me on paper PLEASE

"With love for LAMPOCHKA-SAMA"

I myself am from Russia)
>>
>>684934149
I second this
>>
>>684931859
Please ?? <:3
>>
Thread is bumped all the way up
>>
>>684934597
is it autism awareness month already?
>>
>>684934430
kek
>>
>>684934628
>>
>>684932180
Hairy ass ewww woudfuk/10
>>
>>684934430
I do now.
>been two years since I've had pussy, I guess I'm desperate.
>>
>>684934766
That was last month. But I'm still celebrating.
>>
>>684934149
THIS OP.
>>
>>684934430
What kind of emergency could these possibly be used for? Kitchen is just 20 feet too far away?
>>
>>684932611
Grose
>>
>>684935072
Zombie apocalypse you fucking dildo
>>
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>>684934914
>LAMP GUY
>>
>>684935020
>>684934629
>>684934455
>>684934149

im going to jail for animal abuse
>>
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>>684932611
>>
>>684934914
Thank you, but I wanted to label your photos in full and (
>>
>>684935226
Gros
>>
>>684935182

it is 5 am and i don't feel like writing all that shit
>>
>>684935220
>>
>>684935220
kek, nice.
>>
>>684935220
What waters do ye roam?
>>
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>>684935220
OP Is as god as Fed Ex With deliveries
>>
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A question for the cat.
What are your views regarding recreational drugs?
>>
>>684935220
Place full cat in vaginer
>>
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>>684935472

I try.
>>
>>684935505

Nova: Smoke weed erry day
>>
>>684935563

i feel like he's been through enough today
>>
>>684935131
Oh, obviously for the zombie apocalypse that will surely happen. How stupid of me.
Why can't you just admit you're a fat cunt that eats beans in bed to avoid getting up?
>>
>>684935623
Your cat is pretty cool, would hang out with.
>>
>>684935446
Kek. I like you.
>>
>>684928846
Why are you so fat?
>>
>>684935716

BECAUSE I DONT EVEN LIKE BEANS

Do people even eat beans straight out of the can???

I have the beans there because I'm a piece of Master Race trash who has played over 2000 hours of DayZ standalone and one day I was walking through the grocery store and the beans caught my eye so I bought them.
>>
>>684935833

Because pizza is really good
>>
>>684935901
>over 2000 hours DayZ Standalone
That's over 83 days playtime. Steamproof or didn't happen.
>>
>>684929842
Ugly/10. Please, never, ever show those disgusting things you call tits to anyone ever again.
>>
>>684935751

He's pretty cool. Doesn't give a whole lot of fucks.
>>
>>684935901
1V1 ME ON MINEKRAFD QS TRKCHOD PEW PEW PEW IFON 6 NS BROWAHH
>>
>>684935935
And you have no self control because you are a pathetic waste of life
>>
>>684936141
You take my self
You take my self control
>>
>>684936009

My main steam account.
>>
>>684935901
I get that you're telling me a story to convince me that you're not a fatass eating beans in bed... but I don't believe you.
>>
>>684936297
Math is not your strong point is it?
>>
>>684936297
>>684936009

my shared account with my brother which is where I started playing. It's pretty much just his now,
>>
>>684936297
>>684936393
That's actually no proof. Post real steam account with a picture of you.
>>
>>684936297
If I could somehow give you my steamID without letting all the feggits get it I would. You're someone I need more of in my life
>>
>>684936443
This is some good beta cringe
>>
>>684936441

... how
>>
>>684936443

thats fuckin GAAAAAAAAAY
>>
>>684936443
You know nothing about her aside from:
> 1. She plays fallout
> 2. She has cats
> 3. She's hideously fat as fuck
> 4. She eats beans in her bed
Is this really the kind of person you want to associate yourself with, anon?
>>
Meow meow meow meow
>>
>>684934371
Kek'd lol
>>
>>684936675

all is true but number 4

I'm taking husband applications.

Just to clarify: beans are fucking gross
>>
>>684936575
>Log into your main steam account
>Upload a picture of yourself with it
>post it here
>???
>PROFIT
>>
>>684936443
Chill yourself before you kill yourself, Romeo.
>>
>>684936753
You keep saying that, but the beans in your bed beg to differ.
You know what I have on my bed? Blankets and pillows. Any food for emergencies? No. Because my kitchen is a literal god damn 35 feet from my room.
>>
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can we look at your vagina pleas?
>>
>>684936675
>>684936753
Shut up piggy, no one believes you. Now go back to stuffing your gaping mouth with beans you fat hag.
>>
>>684937036
Please no. OP, if you care about the sanity of anyone in this thread, you'll keep that meat locker under wraps.
>>
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>>684936804

i dont really wanna give you fucks my steam tbh
>>
>>684937148

don't worry! The only pussy here will be Nova!
>>
>>684937186
And frankly we don't even want that one here.
>>
>>684936549
>>684936638
>>684936675
>>684936807

This is 4chan, you really think you're a fucking alpha? please. Beta is about as good as this site gets.

I'm tired of fucking with party girls and uptight bitches, this chick has shown interest in at least 3 things I like, and honestly I don't mind a bit of chubb. I'm getting too old for this shit, time to settle down with a nice gamer girl.
>>
>>684928846
Does dunkin donuts deliver?
>>
>>684936549
Bean cringe*
Requesting picture of beans between breast, or between feet, dealers choise.
>>
>>684937294

One of those was me (OP)
>>
>>684937294
Alright danny glover, calm down.
First off, you're never gonna meet this chick so get the fuck over me "saying mean things" boo-hoo. Btw, she's less angry than you are.
B) it's more than a bit of chub
And third of all, you clearly need to get your eyes checked.
>>
>>684937421
The real question is, which one?
>>
>>684937186
who is nova?
i want some vagina
someone post a vagina
any vagina will do
>>
>>684937294
Bit off chubb? That ugly thing is a fucking whale, and she has no self respect whoring herself on 4chan. My wife is a solid 8/10 with no fat and a gamer aswell, they are out there anon, do not settle for fat ugly bean gulping smelly whores
>>
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everyone this is me so can you please back off? im not even that fat!
>>
>>684937565
Already cracked that mystery.
>>684936549
>>
let the cat lick ur clit!!!!!!
>>
>>684937594

Nova is my fucking cat,
>>
>>684936753
>Plays Fallout
Cool
>Has Cats
I have a cat
>Fat as fuck.
Is there a full body pic? I didn't see one, She didn't look too fat.
>Eats beans in bed
I gotta say im a little conflicted about this one, i mean mostly if you spill them....

But probably not Australian so doesn't matter.
>>
>>684937696

Wrong. Try again.
>>
>>684937666
trips approve
>>
>>684937696
Nope, thqt was me and I am not OP
>>
>>684937745

Not Australian. I'm in EST.
>>
>>684937791

DAMN not only trips! 666! maybe satan will finally accept my lesbian application!
>>
>>684937774
Well then here you go, you chunky hoe. >>684936638
>>
>>684928846
do you have any thin friends who can show their tits?
chubby is not for me
>>
>>684937745
This guy fucking gets it, and no shit I'm not gonna meet her, but damn I wouldn't mind finding someone similar.
>>
>>684937152
Holy shit, I have 270h in Borderlands 2 and thought that was way too much... I must step up my game
>>
>>684937892

DING DING DING
>>
I would like to hear more about the cat. What is a typical day for Nova?
>>
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>>684937734
o
well i was sitting on my leg for a while and then i got off of it and the tingly feeling in my leg makes my penis feel like im about to cum
:) help me
>>
>>684937912

Psh. I think I have more than that in every Sims game. Step up your game, dawg.
>>
>>684937912
>270h
>way too much

Fucking casual faggot, what are you even doing on 4chan?
>>
>>684937926
Alright humpty dumpty, what do I win?
>>
>>684937953
Wake up, its dark, cant breathe

Fuck, I am caught in OP's fat flaps again.
>>
>>684937953

Eat, sleep, meow at 5 am to wake me up because he's a cunt, sleep, eat, meow to wake my family and whoever else up, shit, eat, sleep, scratch shit, sleep
>>
>>684938023

The opportunity to make this guy's night
>>684937961
>>
>>684929842
You have nice natural tits. They look fun as fuck
>>
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>>684937992
I do not know anymore... beaten by a girl... lost my purpouse...
>>
>>684938082
Do you ever produce art for/of him, such as poetry or drawings?
>>
>>684938188

thanks boo

you can find a picture of them with my cat somewhere on here
>>
>>684937825
EST, A shame.
A damn shame.
Oh well.
I'm sure you'll find a blonde long haired guy there who lives by the coast likes surfing and diving and hiking and computer games and paints and is a geologist.
>>
>>684938204

get reky becky
>>
>>684938188
>Having standards this low

>Being this desperate

Which one is it?
>>
>>684938294

Would be interested. Was one bad life choice away from going into Geology for school. Too bad I failed 12 University math.
>>
Pleeease OP show us vagoo
>>
>>684938204
>>684937992
>>684937912

810 hours Arma 3
1302 hours CSGO
219 hours Fallout 4
290 hours GTA V
219 hours Arma 2 (probably more cause I played on cracked servers a lot before buying it)

Am I a casual feg?
>>
>>684938356
i have no friends irl and im okay with anyone at this point ;0;
i want to bust some nuts and play games ;0;
>>
>>684937961
How about you fuck yourself and release into your own ass.
>>684938155
Thanks op, best gift ever.
I'm suprised you're still awake. Don't the morbidly obese usually fall asleep pretty early due to blood pressure stuff?
>>
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I just got here and saw the Steam stuff, and OP is a real gamer!
love the cat, by the way
>>
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>>684938452
im down
but my dingo isn't long enough to bend back into my own ass. when it soft sometimes i can get the tip in a little but thats all.
>>
>>684938433
I reckon you wasted all that time on CSGO
>>
>>684938447
A vacuum with a wig is a better option than OP.
>>
>>684938433

No but I am displeased with your time and effort into CSGO. How do you manage to play so much? I only have 97 hours and I am so sick of it.

- OP here
>>
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Show us your meaty cunt then?
>>
>>684938563
I'd give a good 300 hours to idling, maybe another 200 to map making.
>>
>>684938452

Well I drank a bunch of coffee earlier which will probably force my heart to go into cardiac arrest later but whatever
>>
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>>684938592
are you trying to make me kill myself? what if the vacuum rips my dingo inside out
>>
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>>684938433
After Borderlands come MW2 on 200h from when I was a "pro gamer" in my teens... I feel so casual right now
>>
>>684938641
So basically a win/win
>>
>>684938602
This

Old op we need to see
>>
>>684938447
OP is shit tier woman, there are proper beautiful gamer girls out there, go get one, all you will get from OP is beans in the bed and a rotting smell of flesh as diabetes has taken her foot.
>>
>>684938602
Please op
>>
>>684938602
Get them flaps out op
>>
>>684938612
Yeah, at least a quarter of my 400 Fallout New Vegas hours are me installing mods, finding out that the game crashes at startup, and then reinstalling mods
>>
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>>684938592
>>
>>684938257

took an art class once but he doesn't seem to be interested in my old sketches.
>>
>>684938775
>do eeeet
>>
>>684938668
Did you not look at any pictures op posted? She has pork n beans in bed. What makes you think this hog won't eat your dick?
>>
>>684938602
Omg yes
>>
>>684938597
Ayy, OP is indifferent towards CSGO too!
Happy to be here
>>
>>684938828

OP here: not a fan of meat. I prefer pure lard.
>>
>>684938828
You didn't get the DayZ memo did you? That can o beans is no different than the princess peach figurine you shoved up your ass last week.
>>
>>684929842
pretty hot tbh
>>
SHOW US YA FAT FLAPPY CUNT YOU DIRTY SLAG
>>
>>684938956

OH FUCK THAT WAS GOOD HA
>>
>>684938973
DO IT NOW YOU HAIRY LITTLE WHORE
>>
>>684939039

im ok thank you
>>
>>684939028
I'm here to surprise, and delight.

At least that's what my shirt says.
>>
>>684939039
SHOW ME YOUR HOLES NOW YOU FUCKING LITTLE SLUT!
>>
>>684936675
since he's a lonely fagget who has no friends... yes, i bet he would accept a muslim cumming in his anus anytime
>>
>>684939107

my shirt says "jenny the realtor sold me a house" but that doesn't matter
>>
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>>684939039
Quite the charmer, aren't you...
>>
>>684939177

oh yeah he's really making me want to post more pussy than Nova
>>
>>684938909
Obviously
>>684938956
I saw you say it was for dayZ thing like 10 times now. I just don't believe you because that's stupid as fuck.
>>
seconding the cunt pic

also belly pic pls
>>
>>684939164

Thank you for calling AppleCare, I hope that we have solved your issue in a satisfactory matter.
>>
>>684939177
I WANT TO SEE THAT PUFFY LITTLE CHUBBY CUNT

SHOW ME YOU DIRTY LITTLE ATTENTION WHORE
>>
>>684938973
>>684939039
>>684939119
go to school kid..
>>
>>684938294
Where at in EST?
im an ohio fag here
>>
>>684939245
You ever play it?
>>
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>>684939258
>>>684938707
>>
>>684939287

Canadian. Sorry my dude
>>
This chick is cool, you fucking fags don't get it. I laugh at all of you.
>>
>>684939320
jesus fucking christ...
>>
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so i got an xbox one today and i gotta say. i wish i didn't. ps4 much better.
>pic related
i wish op do this to me
:(
>>
>>684939300
No I don't play any games. But I'm assuming there's beans in the game to make op feel better about being having meals I'm bed.
>>
>>684939411
Peterborough fag here
>>
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>>684939210
>>
>>684939274
It's always faggy little teenagets that call others kids in a poor attempt to belittle them and put them down.

I'm off from work today , so perhaps I could go into a random school to make you feel more powerful.

NOW OP SHOW ME YOUR HAIRY CUNT
>>
>>684939420

I mean "cool" isn't exactly what I would call myself but I appreciate the thought.
>>
>>684938356
Just calling It how I see it
>>684938447
Not me
>>
>>684939411
sall good
>>
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Let's ask: Why the fact is that hot dogs come in sets of 10, but hot-dog buns only come in sets of 8?
>>
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>>684939424
To satisfy your cravings... now tripple the dose!
>>
>>684939526
Anon asking the real questions
>>
Fallout + Cat = cooler than 99% of people on the planet.
>>
>>684939472

can you not
>>
>>684939507
it was me, im just being gay lol
>>
>>684939526
In my country the buns come in sets of 4, the sausages in sets of 8, so I'm fine.
>>
>>684939610
Preteen fag it seems
>>
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>>684939526
Because that means you'll need to buy 4 packets of hot dogs and 5 of buns to make it even which equals more sales!
>>
I have 2 buns and 1 sausage
>>
Can we get cunt pics before 404 pls
>>
>>684939734
This
>>
>>684939526

Because if you wish to eat all 10 hot dogs on buns you have to buy two bags of buns and then have 6 buns left over... So you then buy another pack of hot dogs but then you need to buy another pack of buns and the cycle is never ending and forces you to spend more money. Solution: eat the last two hot dogs in your package chopped up and mixed in with your bedside beans. - OP
>>
>>684939734
Op?
>>
>>684934430

beans, for what kind of emergency?
Thread posts: 292
Thread images: 64



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