I can't think of weirdest place I've fapped but I was just about to start up a thread "weirdest place you've taken a shit" so when I saw this I thought hey why not combine.
So weirdest place was a backyard swing set on one of the swings. I'd hate to be the kid who lived there getting home from school that day.
On the floor of my school bathroom. I used to only jerk off prone and just humped my backpack when no one was in there and came in my boxer-breifs and smelt like semen for the rest of the day. Right after i came i ate in there. Becasue no one liked me.
the Andes mountains. my high school class went there and one day me and some classmates were climbing a small mountain. at some point i said i was tired so i went down. suddenly i realized i was alone in a mountain so i decided to pull my pants down a masturbate furiosly thinking of a model from my country. i came a very big load and it was beautiful, i felt in the top of the world.
Pls kaga master
You and Hila
I wanna do it with your wife. But...
...I don't want to leave you out, you know? How about it?
A threesome between Ethan and Hila -- and anon.
Please. I would come to this. I want this. I will join. I've always sexually identified as a vape.
Outdoors, middle of the night, snow storm.
>In a public library
>In one of my college professors offices while he was away for exactly 3.5 minutes
>Straight up in public standing in the middle of a parking garage
>In a Walmart dressing room
>On a bus when i was going on a field trip with my class in high school (nobody saw due to my superior technique)
>Pretty much in my car at any given time while driving (masturbating while driving helps me focus)
I think i might have an addiction.
I have never masturbated.
I watch porn but I think I might have ED.
That or I'm just turned off by my own penis.
He's telling the truth, Quads never lie!
No shame, brethren... and take those quads to the doctor.
Maybe it's just the paranoid schizophrenia but having weird shit happen in my peripheral vision fucks with me.
Also maybe because I don't want to look away for 13 seconds or however long high schoolers last.
Also because I don't want to have sexual relationships with most of the autistic faggots I sat next to in school.
^Mostly that point.
I'm a dude, by the way.
My gf and my mom were at the house, they ordered pizza and told me to go get it. I went and picked up the pizza but on the way back My dick wouldnt go down. the chick at the rregister was so cute and her tits were basically popping out of her blouse. So I pulled into this little culdesac, whipped out my dick, and jerked it. I then ate a slice as I drove back to my house.
they asked me what took so long and i told them I got caught behind a train. failed to specify it was the train i was tuggin
well lets see
>right in the hall in a school library
>during a class(about 7 times)
>McDonald play place
>driving to work
Not really a weird place but an interesting story:
>13, sleeping over at friends house
>he's on bottom bunk, I'm on top
>fap as quietly as I can
>cum buckets on my stomach
>don't have anything to clean up with
>can't get up without making mess or potentially getting seen with jizz all over me
>fuck it, fall asleep with jizz on me
>wake up with dried jizz on my stomach
>put shirt on, go to bathroom, clean up
Thank god I didn't roll over while I was sleeping
I also once fapped under the covers with my cousin next to me on couch
in a library bathroom, it was around 7 pm and my cousin invited me to this small event where we all watched a movie in the library. I decided to go bust one real quick in the bathroom. Was like 12
In a Hospital waiting room, saw a sexy woman shoe playing with her sexy feet and legs, I blew my load all down my leg.
Uhhh, dude. Rule #1 of public masturbation is to know how not to get caught. I only do it in a pool on days when i know there's little supervision and - contrary to what you might think - when there's a goo amount of people swimming. More people = less attention on you. I usually just chill over by the wall and jerk off inside my trunks. I'm also not opposed to eating my cum in times of desperation so if i happen to be in a pool (and floating cum sticks out like a sore thumb by the way) i try to eat as much of it as i can.
Yes i realize im a fucking degenerate.
I was the last one in my office, i have a closed off room to myself opposite the managers office. After he and everyone else left, I was browsing 4chan and saw this trap with a nice fat feminine ass, so I made sure all the doors were locked and the windows were down and I started beating off at my desk. I came so hard and now that one trap makes me question my sexuality on occasion
while discovering that i had a piss fetish, one night my gf asked me to make her a rootbeer float. so i did. made it as perfect as i could
then i took it into the bathroom and pissed in it a little bit.
shits making me laugh just thinking about it.
she ate it all and asked me if i wanted any. "nah baby i ate enough while i was making it"
back of the family van, in a family road trip, gf jerked me off at night when only his dad was awake driving and her grandma and little sister were in the seats in front
Target dressing room
>not bad, can't complain
Oakland Intl Airport bathroom
>be like 13 maybe
>was going ok until asshole walks into the next stall with his poor kid
>yelling at the kid, "go on, do it already"
>"c'mon, just go" "you said you had to, didn't you?"
>sounded like dad was in a hurry, super pissed
>can't focus anymore, feel bad for kid. give up
>kid drops his plastic toy car thingy on floor, slides into my stall
>dad reaches hand under
>"would you mind?"
>"sure" slide toy car back w/foot
>zip up, wash hands, nope tf outta there
>haven't joed in public since
> Be me, freshman year of uni
> Introverted, stayed in my room 90% of the time
> Went to this one event during "PARTY WEEK"
> Q&A with the partiest kids in my dorm
> One question gets asked: Where's the weirdest place you've had sex?
> This one asian bitch pulls out her phone, starts rattling off a list
> Bunch of public rooms, in the halls, stairwells
> Pauses for the merest of moments
Now, as a bit of clarification: I go to a decent school. This school likes to show its power and money. This school bought a section of the Berlin Wall.
> MFW asian whore got fucked against the Berlin fucking Wall
this reminds me of the time I fingered my gf in the back of my moms little car on the way back from seeing some shitty movie. my mom rolled down the window at one point because of "some smell" my gf and i didnt realize until we were at home that the smell she was talking about was my GFs pussy.
>> superior technique
for reference, it was this sweet piece of sissy meat
>go out into ocean
>let current carry me graciously over to some primo loli collective
>vigorously work speedo torpedo until detonation
>shamefully float away as semen shrapnel drifts towards baby bunch
>moment of panic as I sense my batter soaking into their swimsuits
>sly smirk as I inconspicuously disappear into the abyss
That's pretty weird but good if you can ejaculate then your probably just not aroused. I dno you could probably do it if you forced yourself. But once you get into the habit it's hard to break.
in a trailer park bathroom
i did it like 3 days in a row when i was 15 and it wasn't so bad except i had to be stealthy since there was someone in the stall next to me. also it was mental masturbation of my aunts tits since i didn't get connection on my ipod.
SUPERIOR FAPPING TECHNIQUE: STRAIGHT FROM THE DEGENERATE HIMSELF
>I was seated in the middle of the bus, on an aisle seat (literally the worst place to fap, you're visible from the whole bus)
>I was wearing sweatpants because it was fucking cold outside
>I had this erection that would NOT go away, unless i rubbed one out all sneaky beaky like.
>I had to pull out an ancient Chinese secret fapping trick to make this work.
>I put my backpack in my lap
>My backpack only had a thick jacket in it today in case it was colder than i thought on this trip
>Secretly cut a hole in it with a small knife i had
>Discretely pulled out my dick and put it into my dick hidey-hole
>unzipped just enough of my backpack to put one hand in
>Quietly and masterfully jacked off into my backpack
>Seated next to a girl that slept through it all
>Pretty much stared at her tits 12 inches away for motivation
In one of these
I was with a group of friends when I was 15, we had some girls with us. We were a big group, 4 boys me included so basically 5...6 girls and one of them was a cutie that I a major crush on for 2 yrs and she was always so nice to me and flirty good friends we were. So, one day we were all together chillin out shootin some b-ball out side of the school. And yeah Fresh Prince lol but really we were actually playing basketball. The girls were watching and chatting. I was getting distracted looking constantly at my crush. she was giving me the flirty look (the fuck me eyes) she was a 8/10 in my books! Nice tits and slim body she was short maybe 5'6 nice legs/feet. sexy eyes and hair EVERYTHING! she was giving an erection bigger than Trump tower. So, I told my friends I have to shit and I went in the outhouse. Instead of shitting I decided to play stroke my tree trunk. I busted a nut and came on the toilet paper, Then I noticed it was all quiet and didn't hear the ball bouncing, I thought my friends left me and forgot me. then my friends thought it would be funny to flip the over the out house while I was still inside it. They pushed it over..I jumped out of the out house and here I am... covered in shit and piss and cum..and all my friends were laughing at me and even my crush...good times... =/
Never EVER go in these when you have friends with you!
I jerked it next to my friends that were fucking in their room, I was in the walk in closet right outside their door. We were all three on molly, the idea of getting caught and maybe having a three way turned me on so fucking much
one time when me and my cousin were sleeping in the same room i jacked off in my sleeping bag without waking him
times were tough and blue balls sucks dick (not literally (unfortunately))
In my sisters closet. watching naked changing her clothes
I just screencapped this to use as my banner for my website when i make one.
In a cave made from lava flow, near Mt. St. Helens. Roughly 1 mile under the surface of the Earth.
In the ball pit in Mcdonalds while with my niece. there was a cutie milf with her shit corn niglet child that was playing with my niece
On a shooting range in one of these fuckers, thanks to /b/ fap roulette
I work in a nursing home. Sometimes I like to cum in the bathroom in my hand then I find an old person sleeping and do stuff with it, like put it in their mouths or in food. Sometimes they wake up when you do it but it doesn't matter because they're old and nobody believes them.
Oh wow! I totality agree with you! I wish more people were like>>684886924
masterbating over my 11/10 girl cousin sleeping body (while she was visting our house) i came on a tissue and wiped on her clothes so that when she woke up, her shirt had some slightly ominous looking stains ) her ass was half out and when i bent down i could see half her asshole
i practically got my nose up in that thing
true story (she was around 18 at the time)
On a hasty night OP while I was laying down in the dirt with an M249 SAW in My right hand.
>Night time, in an orchard watching a MSR for people with shovels
>dick rubs on hard soil
>NARB (No Apparent Reason Boner)
>Look around, everyone is watching sectors, TL is Chillin by SL
> hold right hand on pistolgrip, left hand on dick
> mfw bustin a nut outside the wire
In a holding cell at a Police station.
I'm hard core.
Years ago I had seen a porn vid that took place in a parking garage. I recognized that parking garage/structure from what you could see of the other buildings outside.
I then proceeded to masturbate in that parking garage. I came on the ground like an animal.
pic somewhat related, how I felt after.
Damn can you imagine if you got sniped mid-fap?
Not wishing that at anyone, but I just can't help but imagine the pure confusion and wtf look on everyone's face after they heard the shot and were sounding off to check if everyone's okay and when they get concerned and check on you your hard in your hand in the dirt with your other hand on your gun.
Of course continue you fucking clod
i really shouldn't. chris hansen is lurking i just know it