Last thread 404ed but our house is back

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FUCK, I already spilled my chocolate milk on the new carpet!

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>>683240076
Wipe it up quickly

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I brought my cat, I hope that's okay.

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>>683239971
Finally OP, it took you long enough.

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>>683240514
I brought my dog

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>>683240514
It's fine brought mine too

>>683240930
Does it also like to burn down houses?

>>683241028
No, it's a good pupper.

>draws in the basement

anons I'm tired should I sleep

>>683240514
>>683241013
You guys buy their food and I buy their kitty litter, deal?

>>683241226
Let them hunt for their own food, they're not living off my welfare.

>>683241214
what you drawing there anon?

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>>683241214
If you're in the basement promise that u don't enter the room to your right

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I am Mittens and I am ruler of this house

Everything that touches my face is mine

Who's feeding me?

>>683241406
Is that the room Jimmy went into last month?

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>>683241382
I brought my goat.

>>683241429
Hail Mittens, Ruler of Our Home and Hearth.
What does thee command?

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Have you heard about this new scientific discovery

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>>683241406
Wait, what room to the--OH SHI

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I will be in the study to read some literature.

>>683241640
2spooky4me

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>>683241658
You have seen too much

>>683241382

>shows picture of enormous phallus

>>683241406
okay!

>>683241640
Woah, I've got way more than that many in my closet...

>>683239971
Oh Boy time to Grab some Pop corne

>>683242087
Build a skeleton army and we will invade our neighbors

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>>683241580
I demand treats. also the ugly curtains and furniture will be dealt with by me personally

and what can we do about catching that moth? I'm sure it's been driving everybody crazy

>>683241854
That's beautiful anon, it's a shame you have a micro and not that work of art.

>>683242231
>pulls out enormous micro phallus

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>>683242217
Here's a treat

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>>683242217
I hope this offering of divine treats satiates your hunger, Mittons. They were caught by mineself.

So where die this sniper g-

>>683242410
I meant did not di-

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>>683242318
no one wants to see that anon

Since I am taking care of this houses economy I fell like I need to inform u all that I have been fired from work so were having Cheetos for dinner

>>683239971
I'm taking down that flag and putting a nazi one up

>>683242182
As Mittens commands...

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>>683242217
Here is the treat that keeps on giving.

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>>683242525
Wait i still have this banana

>>683242519
>rips own micro phallus off and crams it up own ass

>>683242542
I hope you don't mind that I wiped my butt with your flag

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>>683242358
the fuck is this? I demand this human be lynched!
>>683242397
this guy gets it. I hope they're still slightly alive so I can play with them first.


also somebody needs to save me, I'm stuck in the heating vents....

meow....scratch scratch....

but I also don't want to be saved because I'll hide deeper in the vents if you find me...

MEEEOOOOWWW!!!

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>>683242542
A show of hands for all of those in favor?

>>683242631
When I say Cheetos I mean Cheetos , you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

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Pizza is here. Who's paying?

>>683242908
KILL HIM!!

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>>683242767
I'll save you

>>683242908
the guy in the basement, just take it down there...

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>>683242673
>amazed

>>683242767
I guess this was a bad time for op to shit in the heating vents?

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Look at this cool ass cat I found in the attic!

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>>683242817

>>683242908
You are.

>>683243074
That's no ca-

>>683243113
Shit! No one closed the blinds ye-

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>>683242908
Suprise attack

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>>683242842
Wait i also have a drink for you

>>683243074
all Hail the return of Mittens!

I guess that meowing and scratching we're still hearing is nothing to worry about then

Wow that the pizza guy is dead I ask you do we eat him and the pizza or just the pizza

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>>683243031
We'll, uh, just wait up here...

>>683243334
Make a pizza out of him

>>683243221
The drink is ok but no bannanas

>>683243334
We eat him, the pizza, and you.

>>683243422
K then but what about check'em is that ok?

>>683243505
Check your pants for crack.

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>>683243101

guise is this house run by humans or cats?
things were stable under the rule of Mittens, but this house has been chaos since his disappearance.

I say the humans need to stand up to our oppressive cat overlords! Who's with me!?

>>683243505
NOOO!!!!!

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>>683243612
Have none but i found some cocain if you want some?

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Shit! Its State Farm! Guys who had insurance on our last house before it burnt down?

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>>683243665
Here is our new ruler.

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>>683243665

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Hello sir, do you have a moment to talk about Jesus Christ?'

>>683243729
But think about the dubs

>>683243807
You have no butt? How do you go shit?

>>683243900
Do you have a moment of Check'em the Lord of dubs?

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>>683243612
Pretty sure the only crack you'll find there is your ass crack.

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>>683243930

>>683243986
If i can eat throu My mouth i can also shit throu My mouth

>>683244052
That is the joke.

>>683244111
Youre right you also have to think about the trips

>>683244263
K then

>>683244170
That is not your mouth that is your butthole. You are upside-down

>>683243900
the guy in the basement does...
he's just eating some pizza if you want to go down there and talk to him...

>>683244470
Oh shit what do i do now?

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>>683243815
Um... hello?
Is anyone there?

>>683244541
Stop being a faggot.

>>683243665
RIP

all hail the cat overlords

>>683242473
You clearly don't get how that joke w

>>683244623
Sorry but im op

>>683243665
I have rounded up all the cats in the household, what do we do with them?

>>683244575
Nope, no one is home.

>>683244672
Then stop be op.

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>>683244575
Is anyone going to take this insurance claim?

>>683244738
Ok i will try.

>>683244821
You are going to take it.

>>683242817
On a side note, isn't Emma sexy as fuck? We should lock her in the basement.

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>>683244821
Anyone?

>>683244946
No

>>683244946
Maby emma watson it we "take" her

I accidentally shot the bread again.

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>>683245006
Fucking nigger

>>683245118
But I am not you

>>683244672
I'm op

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Someone needs to walk the dog.

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>>683244677
human overlord here

I suggest you torture them by feeding them tuna and yogurt

>>683245257
If thats the case then PISS OFF FAGGOT!

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>>683245173
Ima bout to beatcho ayus nigga!

>>683245257
No you are po.

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>>683245403

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it's me, downe

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I made coffe anyone want some

>>683244946
Make Mittens do it!

>>683245582
Yes can you please fill it in the enigma bucket?

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Hey guys, where can I hang my Taylor Swift posters?

>>683245630
Make Mittens make Mittens do it.

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>>683245488
ITS TIME

>>683245666

>>683245800
For d-d-d-Dubs!

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>>683245800
For your hug.

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>>683245721
On that wall

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>>683245761
Master Mittens!
Please convince yourself to talk to the Statefarm insurance guy!

I'm pretty sure mittens got stuck in the heating vents

>>683246266
Oh no mopping man failed to save mittens

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>>683245899
For my first card I'll play....
Jesus the Janitor, to help clean up your act!

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>>683246367

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>>683246501
You stupid nigger!
That's not even the same card game!

>>683246366
like he stood a chance! seriously, who hired that guy? I don't think he was a qualified animal rescuer...

>>683246501
Lets hope he doesnt have a rare pepe or dat boi card!

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>>683246659
It is now. You retarded fag lord.

>>683246703
He's a qualified child molester

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>>683246805
So what? Those a dime a dozen in this house.

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>>683246777
Trips confirmed!?
Shit, alright then, then I'll play former- brisident
GEORGE BUSH!!!! And use its special ability to send your CatTank to the graveyard!

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Did somebody ordered milk?

>>683247066
Oh shit he can only conter with a hitler or trump card

>>683247017
Good point but he only cost 5 dollars to hire

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>>683247066
You activated my trap card. You go to the graveyard.

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Which one of you dumbfucks forgot to turn off the stove?

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>>683247264
Again with this shit!
THATS NOT EVEN A FUCKING CARD!! JUST A SHITTY JPG YOU FOR SOME REASON SAVED AS A GIF!!!1 FUCKING NIGGER!!!!!!!!!!!!

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>>683247438

>>683247438
Knock it off,it doesnt matter, anon and faggot have i duell right now

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>>683247670
Oh, it matters now.

>>683247823
Oh shit waddo we do?

>>683247596
No you cares you retarded nigger pooper. Go find a graveyard to be in.

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they just don't pay attention

>>683247823
OHSHITOHSHITOHSHIT

>>683247823
Quick!
Throw the dead bodies on it!

Please Not again

>>683247884
You go sit on it.

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>>683247823
GOD DAMMIT NOT AGAIN

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>>683248009
You can go downstairs and try to get them from that guy, but I ain't going down there...

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Does anyone ordered a cheese pizza?

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>>683247823
FEAR NO MORE AQUAMAN IS HERE

>>683247884
Maybe if we ignore it, it'll just go away...

>>683248025
Ok i i think i-OH GOD SHISHITSHIT I BURNING FUCK! OHHH GOD THE PAIN! THE AGONY

>>683248137
>Does anyone ordered
>Being this foreign

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>>683248157

>>683248195
Now wet yourself.

>>683248157
IM BURNING PLEASE oh wait aqaman fuck you we dont need you piss of!

>>683248273
You're a genius we will piss the fire away!!!!!!!

>>683247823
sorry guise that was me. I'm a fire spirit trapped inside the body of a human and I didn't think there was enough fire in the kitchen

you're welcome

But first piss Aquaman away

Wat If we just Call the goustbuster-ehm fire fighters?

Sooo waddup?

>>683248782
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN WADDUP THE FUCKING HOUSE IS BURNING

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>>683248591
DID SOMEONE SAY GHOSTBUSTERS?

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>>683248990
AAAAH Kill it with the fire!

>>683249206
So tell her to come in the house?

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>>683249311
Oh hell no, light the furniture on fire and throw it at her!

When haven't we just pissed out the fire

>>683249445
Why*

>>683249406
The furniture is on fire you fag lord.

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>>683248362
Thanks Flambo, ya little dick.

>>683249531
That was just the stuff in the kitchen, I mean ALL OF IT!

>>683249582
you don't understand, if I'm extinguished I'll die...
I wish I'd never moved out of the tumblr house...

>>683249639
The faggots moving stuff in did not have a clear idea where things went, which is why we have a bathtub on the roof.

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>>683249954
Fuck you, you're no Calcifer.

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>>683250007
Oh that explains how all this weeb shit got into my room...that's totally not mine...

>>683250262
It is yours now.

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>>683250412

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>>683250519

How many people here are from the first post

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>>683250589
Oh sweet, just set it in the corner, under that shelf of Sayaka...figures...
Well this is awkward.

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>>683250831
I got in at the very end of the last one.

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Guys,
It's time to push The Button.

My cancer grows stronker with every day.
Are you sure this isn't built on waste dump?

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>>683251532
Probably that guy in the basement, pointing microwaves up into your room...

My hamster glows in the dark now!

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>>683239971
Sorry guys...

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>>683251967
I know how to fix that!

>>683251512
why? this place is just starting to feel like home :)

>>683251803
That probably is it

>>683250831
Me me me me Oh wait im burning OHHH GOD ME ME ME AHHHHHHRG

So anyway how about circel-jerking

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>>683252761

>>683252897
Maby we can exstinguish the fire with our cum

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Guys look!
I made a waterslide by pouring water down the second floor staircase! Here I go!
>OW
>OW
>OW
>OW
>OW

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>>683253223
Me next! Me next!
ohfu..

>>683253223
You use Walter instand of piss?
Fag

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>>683253634
yeah
I thought they were using all the piss on the fire.
Besides, he was already dead when I found him. Took a while to get him all into the blender though...

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Hey guise! Do y'all want somma dat Krabs?

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Fucking shit, where did this crab come from? I blame the guy in the fucking basement.

>>683253775
>>683255026
Kek