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Hello "Random" /B/ i am a middle aged man but i like

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 143
Thread images: 84

File: dan apples.jpg (205KB, 1194x1300px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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Hello "Random" /B/ i am a middle aged man but i like to hang out here with you kids (you make me feel young again after my wife left me haha) but anyway recently im interested in the new fruit pictures that i have seen here recently on fourchan such as the banana and pear. They are just too funny, they're just too much :) I found this image recently and i thought you guys on this website would get a real kick out of it, it sure gave me a good chuckle haha that's for sure! I call him dan but I'll allow you to chose a name that's the best fit for you. Remember to download it so you can share with your other friends here! thanks!

-Ron G Fergusone
>>
>>683221689
Hey there Ron! whats hanging?
>>
>>683221784
not much not much. Pretty good pretty good! , where do I know you from my good man?
>>
>>683221902
we met at Janet's baby shower, it's me greg! dont you rememberiono dude?
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>>683221991
OH JANET HUH?! I HAAAATE THAT BITCH!!! GREG YOU MOTHERFUCKER I'M GOING TO STICK MY THUMBS IN YOUR EYES IF I EVER SEE YOU MOSEYING AROUND THIS NEIGHBORHOOD AGAIN! YOU BETTER STAY THE FUCK OUT OF ORLANDO AND QUIT CUTTING UP IF YOU KNOW WHATS WELL AND DARN GOOD FOR YOU BUCKAROO!!!
>>
>>683221689
bumping for Mr.Ferguson..
>>
>>683221689
this is the best fruit meme so far
>>
>>683222088
R-ron please
Keep it PG, man.
There are kids watching,
>>
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>>683222333
hey hey now! You dont know the pain Janet caused me my friendo
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>>683222088
Please calm down sir
This is /b/ where people discuss with manners and without cusswords
Insults such as the like you just posted are frowned upon
>>
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>>683222459
this man is right, this is a family website
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>>683222459
Hey now i know i can get a little heated at times and for that i guess I'm sorry my brother! but you just dont know the relationship we have, you see there just aint no talking to that scoundrel Greg. he's no good man!
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>>683222816
it's ok i forgive you but dont let that kind of language slip loose again you hear?
>>
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>>683222816
greentext please
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bump for amazing new meme
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>>683223168
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>>683221689
Haha ron, where did you found this one?
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>>683223071
>i dont know how to do the greentexting thing, im not exactly down with the syndrome like all you youngsters haha1 give me some time to get the ol' learning on. what you do need to know is that janet cut my dick off after she found out she was my mistress and not my first wife. i had to have 5 surgeries to reattach it and my surgeon Greg ended up making a big ol goof and put it on upside down. now aint that a real mess up proper...
>>
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Grandpa! How did you escape Auschwitz.
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>>683223589
well you see it was pretty darn simple i dont know why you fellas haven't found it earlier haha, got it off a website where they sell clips of art, or "clipart"
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>>683223882
you sure it wasn't upside down to start with?
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>>683223566
is something the matter bud? you got a heck of a silly face on there, gee for sure! haha?
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>>683224417
nah I'm fine man

seriously though, how do you go to the bathroom with your wang upside down? is your toilet on the ceiling?
>>
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>>683224389
Heck no my man, i had the straightest pecker on the next 3 blocks but now i cant pee straight haha oh....
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> ITT: laughable cancer
>>
>>683225264
pics please
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>>683225098
It takes some getting used to that's for darn sure, haha, but i manage it good friend, and hey, thanks for asking! i dont mind a question or two, it beats away the loneliness and penis pain haha...
>>
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>>683225770
oh my double jesus
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>>683225770
Wut
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>>683225770
the haha's keep getting sadder everytime KEK
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>>683226274
that's a pretty accurate description of aging desu
>>
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>>683225770
are we really this bored?
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>>683226482
we're on /b/ on a saturday night/sunday morning, what do you think?
>>
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>>683226667
i guess
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>>683227032
>>
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>>683221689
really neat image Ron, THANKS!
>>
Hi Ron, I'm Gary. Just as you I enjoy hanging in this website and I must tell you I love this image, it's a great contribution from your part to share this with us.

Dan seems like a perfect name to this little apple friend. I hope you have a sahy (great) day. And count with me to share this image
>>
>>683222816
>he's no good man
>greg practices law
>>
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Cant wake up
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>>683221689
I really, really, REALLY like this image
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>>683227740
nah he's totally a dick surgeon
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>>683221689
Thanks Ron. :)
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>>683227588
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>>683221689
Hey Ron. Will I ever be happy?
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>>683228067
Nope. There is no such thing as true happiness. It's only temporary. All emotions are.
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>>683227680
Hey hey dude, thanks a bunch! i knew i could count on my chan friends :o) oh, and by the way whats that great new way to say great? sahy was it? wowo wow man that's just super and a neat i'll have to try that one out for size myself!
>>
>>683228231
I didn't ask you, dingus. This is between me and Ron.
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>>683228237
It is sahy to hear that. :-) :-)
>>
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>>683227938
not a problem at all! no problemo my guy! keep on liking and sharing dan for all our fellow friends :O)
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>>683228365
>Be me
>Browsing 4chan
>Find nice thread
>Get rekt
>MFW
>>
If I see this new meme outside of 4chan Im going to kill my self

DONT LET THE NORMIES TAKE THIS ONE FROM US

THEY ALREADY HAVE PEPE
>>
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>>683228449
>>
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Ron is so cool. I wish he was my big bro.
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>>683228566
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajX6CGDMvB8
>>
Hi Ron! It's Ken, I had no idea you used fourcahn as well! My son loves making "meems" on here, like youngsters do. I believe we met at Dylan's birthday party last week. Anyways, give me a call soon, I'd love to discuss Dan the apple! Hah!
Regards,
Ken

P.S. My wife is leaving me
>>
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>>683228504
>>
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>>683228691
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>>683228365
>>683228067
dont listen to that absolute downer my friend, he just has a mean case of the grumpies haha! in all seriousnedd my man, you WILL find happiness, i thought i never could after i had my divorce and my dick sown back on buy i'm seeing a preeeety nice tai hooker now that also loves my memes and my memes if you catch what i'm selling (wink) haha :0)
you just keep on doing your thing and sharing dan to make the world and this website (www.4chan.org) a little more better!
>>
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>>683228904
Murder me
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Hey guys! Any room for a pepper in these parts :)?
>>
>>683228436
hey hey HEY! i see what you did there and, i think it's preeeetty sahy ;) haha!
>>
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>>683229205
I think I'm gonna let you suffer.
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>>683229399
No
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>>683229079
Hi Ron!
It's Adam, I just thought I'd show you this goofy picture of Meryl the Grape! When I saw it, I almost choked on my sweet tea! Feel free to save it friendo :-)

-Adam J. Wallowitz
>>
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>>683229399
Hey Peter Pepper! Just wanted to tell you that if I ever see you in this neighborhood, I'll filet you like a fucking fish!
Sincerely,
Tim the Tomato
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>>683229503
Oh yea? Well Dracula called to say he's coming over to your house tonight and I said alright.
>>
>>683228663
woah,.. woah! now ken, so sorry to hear about your wifey, my condolences for your troubles my man. I'd love to get around to discussing more about dan though, hit me up at the YMCA later this week :0)
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I... I just...

I can't even right now...

Is this a meme now? Did this really just happen?

Who are you people?
>>
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>>683230056
Check it out, this is Dan. Only just met him. I think he's pretty cool though.
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>>683230190
Please drink bleach! You will feel so happy
>>
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THIS THREAD
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>>683229948
Hi guys! Anton from HR here! Great to see us all in one place. Looks like we're all single right now. ;)
Maybe we can all get together. Have some of that pleasure we haven't had for a while. ;)
>>
this thread is fr*cking great
>>
>>683230271
That's sounds kinda dangerous. I usually only use bleach to kill the patches of black mold that pop up around my apartment. Wouldn't ingesting it make me sick or something?
>>
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>>683230056
you just saw the inception of the worlds greatest and last ever meme, save it and remember to share my friend! haha
>>
>>683230536
That's just a rumour!I especially like to drink bleach with biscuits
>>
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>>683229948
Hey Ron!

What does "Hit me up" mean? Heck, I'm never up to date with the latest Me-Me's. You youngsters sure love to surf the Worldwide Web :-). I haven't seen my kids in a few years so I'm not up to date with the youngling lingo. :o)

-Ken
>>
did I just witness the birth of a meme?
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>>683230744

Hit me up means to call him on your rotary telephone.
>>
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>>683230332
i'm definitely always downerooni for some good feelings my friend, just be careful with my dick haha! it's been a little tender ever since that rat bitch Janet cut it off :0) remember to like and share my friend dan here haha!
>>
>>683230943

Memes aren't born. Just reincarnated.
>>
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Hi this is Stevey. I work as a lifeguard on the weekends at the local rec center and I volunteer through my church to help Syrian immigrants. Im sure I know you folks. Im sorry to hear about your wives. On Saturday a nice black man named Jamie fucks my wife while I film them from the closest.

Thanks,
Stevey
>>
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>>683230744
hey there hey there!! i'll get you down with the cool kids in no time you jive?
"hit me up" is a good one i heard my niece say once, it means to contact me to get together...or to "hang out" haha! you'll get it, just keep on sharing and liking dan apple :0)
>>
>>683230995
The polls are in, Ron. 68% of anons still awake in this thread want to see fresh and exotic new Dan memes.
>>
>>683231315
^^
>>
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>>683229556
wowee i'm definitely liking meryl my man, he looks good in purple! haha!

-Ron G Fergusone
>>
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>>683221689

Hey Ron:

Great to meet you! My name is Dave, and I work at the local Apple Mill.

I'd like to politely ask you to please cease and decisions using our logo as a May-May. It can be bad for buisness, just look at what they did with Als logo for his Reptile Store. They turned him into a psychopath (picture related)


Anyways, I hate to do this to you, but it's the law. You understand.

Thanks in advance:

Dave Matthews The Third
>>
>>683231576

Hi, Dave again.

I meant to say "cease and decist" my alzheimers medication does that to me, plus the wife leaving me for a big black man and a stroke don't help much either.

Anyways, just wanted to clarify.

Thanks again friendo:

Dave
>>
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>>683231095
Stevey that seems a bit.... odd. But if she is cool with it and you are too then that's great for you.
>>
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>>683231095
Do you ever find it difficult to share your intimate feelings with your wife after Jamie has plugged her hole with his purple meat hammer? I use to follow a similar regiment with my own wife before she left me, and I always had issues getting close to her after the "sessions" because her pussy would absolutely reek like ashy black cock stank.
>>
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88 replies.
21 posters.
I'm fucking outta here.
This is just one dude talking to himself in public.
>>
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>>683231576
now i dont go much for breaking the law( might have smoked the old wacky tobbacky a few times in my reefer college days but hose are well behind me, haha! just like my in tact genitals haha..) but i really want my very own meme an I'm sorry but i'll just do whatever it takes now :0)
>>
>>683222333
Double Trips Checked
>>
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>>683232039
>join me and give in to depression
>>
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>>683232039
Don't forget to tell your friends about Dan. <@:D
>>
>>683231095

Hey Stevie. It's me, Tyrone, your wife's bull.

I'd like to thank you for sharing your bitch, she's tight as fuck yo'.

I guess you fucking her with that micro-penis of yours helps to keep her tight right?

Anyways, just giving you the heads up, she's going to be filing for a divorce tomorrow, as me and her have a real connection that you two never had.

Anyways, she plans on taking everything, but you can keep your "dank memes" whatever the fuck those are.

Just giving you a heads up, from one brother to another.

Sorry man, her call, not mine.
>>
hey guys I'm Brian. It's nice to see other folks my age interested in my-mys . Can you guys please "hit me up", haha see! I'm already learning! laughing out loud!
>>
>>683232121

You seem like a pretty outstanding guy. I'll let you keep the meme, I'll just find a new logo. Maybe hire those college kids to draw me a new one.

No worries good sir. You have yourself a good one, and enjoy your new meme.

:^)
>>
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>>683221689
Hi Ron! Pleased to meet you, sir. I also enjoy funny fruit and would like to share my old pal, Trayvon
>>
Well the thread is dead, but Dan will soon become a household meme. Ad Victoriam, brother.
>>
>I have no idea what's going on here but here's a shop
>>
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>>683232386
hey not cool man, youre almost as bad as janet haha! totally tubular and rad is what you are not, leave the mans wife alone! ;0)
>>
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>>683232404

Hey Brian!

Welcome! Here's your starter meme. Think of it as a welcome gift.

:>)
>>
This is psychological hell.
There is only one person living out some kind of innocuous role-play, but by themselves, and for some reason, I'm finding it so disturbing.
>>
>>683232873
haha I <3 that maymay it's is excellent.
>>
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>>683231959
Pal,
I dont know anything about the smell of my wive's vagina because in 1997 after we went to Red Lobster I accidentily farted during our love making and Sara said that she could never make love to me again. I know it's my fault but I think we got old butter for our table that night. I know because it tasted funny. I know they cant stoke the fire of mine and Sara's love life, but I wrote them many letters and some days I wish they would just acknowledge how let down I feel. Do you like Red Lobster?
Thanks,
Stevey
P. S. These are my fish. My grandson named them the decepticons. What's a decepticon?
>>
>>683232915
Nah, there are like one or two of us still feeding him. Better than basic cable.
>>
>>683232849

Hey, fuck you you cracker. I'm trying to give this poor man a heads up so he doesn't get blind sided tommorow.

I tried to talk her out of it, but she insists.
>>
>>683232915
we are many my friend, you too can become a disciple of dan haha! just remember to like and share and keep it real dude ;0)

-Ron
>>
>>683233065
gold
>>
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>>683232404
Hi Brian. I'm Joey. I am interested in those may mees. They are pretty "lit" as the cool kids say!
>>
>>683232915

There's more than one my friend. I'm Dave. I own the apple mill down by the river.

I don't appreciate you calling my friends liars. Don't make me sue you for harassment and libel
>>
>>683232386
Tyrone,

Will you still be borrowing my 2003 Volvo station wagon on the weekends? Ask Sara if she is still picking up her niece Jada after her gymnastics tomorrow.
Thanks,
Stevey
>>
>>683233322

Hi Joey! Nice, what the kids these days call "dubs"
>>
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>>683232660
hey there man my main man my man haha! trayvon looks like one cool fruit, just keep him on a short leash haha! wouldnt want anyone to get hurt if you catch my sayings and the like hahahahaha! ;0)
>>
>>683233322
I'm glad to hear that my friend! I've even made a may moy of my own! how do you like it? I'm pretty sure it's "dank" as my kids say!
>>
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>>683233384
you go dave, you show that phoney baloney haha! keep on keeping on my man ;0)
>>
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>>683233494
I can say the same thing for you!
>>
>>683233469

Nah, your Volvo smells like old smegma. I'll be taking her in my Porsche R860.

And I talked to Sara, I'll be picking Jada up and then taking her to a Lakers game where we have corporate seats, then we're going to Dave and Busters for pizza and games.

You coming?

I may be fucking your wife's asshole, but I'm no fucking asshole. I'll take you too.
>>
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I don't know whether or not I should leave.
I find this extremely disturbing.
It's probably a joke, but this is all just really weird.
>>
>>683233065
Im sorry to hear that, friend. I'm dreadfully allergic to all forms of sea life, so thankfully I've never had to make sup at a Red Lobster. In the final months of my failed marriage I even began referring to my wife's pussy as "The Clam House" because of the horrible sores that would break out on my lips after wiping her twat clean of nigger cumslime. The pain I felt after performing cunnilingus was akin to the stinging of the interior rash I get whenever I eat shellfish.
>>
>>683233712
wow ell ohh ell, i drink the water sometimes ha! kush
>>
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>>683233796

Your life sucks my friend. Have you tried what the kids call these days "being an hero"?

Dave
>>
>>683233765
Thank you Tyrone

That sounds like a delightful day.

Thanks,
Stevey
P. S. Can we order Hawaiian pizza?
>>
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Wait a minute... I recognize this writing style!

This is that same guy who posts his own reactions and wears the same hat every thread! You know, the one who always asks what everybody's drinking tonight!

It HAS to be the same guy!
>>
>>683234070

We can get whatever pizza you want my cracker friend. :)
>>
>>683233784
don't leave my friend! in fact, join us! we're all having fun. It's pretty "lit", haha!
>>
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>>683234043
Oh no. I've never been the kind of guy to toot my own horn. I couldn't ever be a "hero" figure for at-risk teens. Too much pressure for a John Q. Taxpayer like me. Oh well! (Lol)
>>
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>>683233712
Wow! That's a pretty neat mee hoy minoy of yours! I "keked' as my nephew says.
>>
>>683221689
Hey Ron.

You a fan of big ol' titties?
>>
hey everybody! Ron Fergusone here, just a friendly reminderino to take the friendship and good feelings of Dan with you when you part on your separate ways to other threads haha! spread him wherever life's great roads may take you and hope you all do great, remember, i love you an i KNOW that you're gonna do good :0)
>>
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>>683234246
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>
>>683234104
uh no my man! i'm just a polite kinda guy who wants to be friends, just here to enjoy and share dan apple thanks! haha ;0)
>>
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>>683234332
Woah. Um, I'm not sure you are allowed to talk like that.
>>
>>683234332
hey there stranger, i like em as much as any man can say, but what i like even more are some nice fresh pictures of my new friend Dan the apple haha! ;0)
>>
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little shit? Ill have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and Ive been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and Im the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. Youre fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and thats just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little clever comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldnt, you didnt, and now youre paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. Youre fucking dead, kiddo
>>
>>683234375
aw shucks! :") this is making me cry... in a good way! don't worry my friend, I'll spread this my-moo-mee-ma across the interwebs. everywhere I go, I'll make u proud!
>>
>>683234675

'Big Ol' Titties' is cussing?

Gosh Darn it.
>>
which is the rarest Dan?
>>
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>>683234724
Good to hear it neighbor :)
>>
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>>683233784
It's okay! Please don't go and leave me like my last wife! She left me without a house and she took my kids. I don't think I could live with myself if someone else left me. Please kiddo. I'll give you candy!!
>>
>>683235074

The one that lives in your heart friend. There's only one in 7.6 billion.

-Dave
Thread posts: 143
Thread images: 84





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