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FML /b/, earlier I was jacking off to some seriously hardcore

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 36
Thread images: 5

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FML /b/, earlier I was jacking off to some seriously hardcore porno featuring things like horses, bdsm and hentai and then after I nutted I realised my computer is still connected to the bluetooth speakers in the lounge room. I'm sure my mother heard it, she walks in and out of rooms all the time, and this was probably a full hour of disgusting degenerate porn. I am still too afraid to leave my room, seriously considering sneaking out like invisible cartman and never coming back. How to kill self pls?
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>>680134298
>How to kill self pls?
knife, gun, pills, noose. They'res a whole rainbow of suicide m8
>>
>>680134298
Lol, you fucked up op. Why were you hooked up to the speakers?
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>>680134648
Music.
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>>680134298
don't jack off to that shit. you're better than that
>>
Godspeed mate.
Get some paracetamol...Eat about 20-30 pills...run into woods and enjoy.
>>
its your mom, who gives a fuck. she spent years literally cleaning shit off your asshole. She used to wash your balls. She has to clean out your jizz filled socks.

Sure, she is embarrased and filled with fucking shame right now. but that aint nothing new you goddamn neet.

so dont stress it.
>>
we all jack off, especially your mom so get over it
>>
>>680134298
So... you want to kill yourself because you watched porn and your mom knows it ? I mean, if it was CP then i'd understand, but HC porn ?

You can still tell your mom it was a japanese documentary about horses wildlife, including the fact that japanese reporters are very excited and loud.
>>
you want embarrasing? our maid found my vibrator. I guess after I jizzed I was so out of it, I took it out my asshole and stumbled back to my room.

the next day, I Can't find it. realize I left it in the bathroom. Maid had given it to my mom, since she thought it was hers.

So now my mom has my fucking vibrator that was up my asshole. what do?
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>be 15
>playing with shaving foams while parents gone
>cover self in foams
>hahaha! I am shaving foams man
>take off clothes
>cover self entirely
> feels awesome
>fuck this, I'm going to video this
>why? I dont know I just think I look cool as shaving foams man
>start getting erection while filing self
>realize stroking dick with foams n feels good
>end up jerking off for video recorder
>jizz everywhere
>oh fuck parents are home
>run jump into shower
>clean off foams
>Hi Moms!
>anon get ready we going out to dinner
>get dressed quick, run to some stupid family get together
>weeks go by
>remember the fucking video in middle of class
>god fucking dammit
>panic all day
>get home
>video camera ... nothing is on there
>someone must have seen and erased

maybe mom, maybe dad. oh fucking fuck fuck fuck.

it is never discussed

still afraid to ask them about it
>>
>>680135395
Kill yourself for being a faggot.

I mean seriously, how do you even find any pleasure in putting stuff up your ass ? I take some ass-pills (don't know how it's called in english, suppository maybe ?) from times to times and it hurts, why would you put a 6 inch thing in your rectum ?
>>
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>>680135641
>>
>>680135641
So... you're 15 ?

>inb4 nuuh it wus 4 yirs ago

MODS MODS MODS BAN HIM HE'S UNDERAGE


MODS MODS MODS
>>
>>680135704
Anal training so he can take bigger cocks.
>>
>>680135921
>video recorder
I'll let you guess how old I am that I didn't say " I recorded it on my iphone"

>>680135704
once you get past your asshole ( sphincter ) it isn't so tight - you can hit the base of your penis ( prostrate ) and it feels fucking awesome.

Not even fucking gay, shit just feels good. my gf likes to finger fuck my ass while sucking me off. cum diamonds.

>>680135822
yeah. for fucking real.
>>
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Well you should have been smart enough to forsee something like this happening with wireless devices. There's a reason I don't have the wireless set up on my printer. You just have to go out there with some dominance and show no shame especially if she confronts you or is behaving like she knows.
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>>680135704
It's called biology, shidiot. By your logic you're also gay for touching your own dick.
>>
>>680134298
That's not that bad. My parents found my prostate massager and threw it away and maybe some panties too. Maybe they figured it was those whacky drugs I was on but nothing was said and our relationship remains the same.
>>
>>680136309
>By your logic you're also gay for touching your own dick.
excellent point sir!
>>
>>680136125
>Not even fucking gay

Keep telling yourself that. The fact that he feels good, do you think an fully hetero guy would do that
? Only fags are getting fucked in the ass. By putting this plastified dick in your ass, you reenact a male penetration - homosexuality. I won't argue with you on that. You and i know that you're a faggot, you're just afraid to admit it.

>>680136309

So, with your logic,
I can get fucked in the ass by some chad and say that i'm not gay because that " biologically " it feels good ? As i'm typing this, i'm laughing at your ignorance and stupidity.

You guys are the cancer of society and the cancer that kills/ed /b/.
>>
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>>680134298
>play it off as a joke
>carry on living
>fuck a fat chick
>???
>profit
>>
>>680135389
>japanese documentary about horses wildlife

I'm crying
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>>680135389
> japanese documentary about horses wildlife
Lost
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>>680134298
Bluetooth has a range of about 10 meters on average, less indoors.
Nice try.
>>
>>680137353
... I don't live in a mansion you moron.
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>>680135389
Mom caught me jerking off finished and got a talking to big fucking deal man up
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>>680137424
Neither do most people. Most people also don't have a lounge in their home, which means you have a larger/more densely constructed home.
I'm guessing between 1500-2500 square feet, maybe 2 stories if your home has room for a lounge in it.
Like I said, nice try with your bullshit story.
>>
>>680134298
Underage b&
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>>680136309
What a faggot thing to say. So just because you have an asshole , it's your duty to shove silicone dicks up it. We both know you are gay that you have a gf does not change anything. I hope your mother kicks your gay ass out.
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>>680137720
Lol no.
>>
yell out and run april fools
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>>680137862
Stop lying and go back to whacking off to Rule34s of your cartoons.
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>>680137567
I was a nigger once. It was Ok.
>>
>>680138020
Shouldn't you be solving mysteries or something instead of telling people on /b/ that their stories aren't true? Seems like such a waste of time, especially if you're always wrong.
Thread posts: 36
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