Hey /b/ros I need some help. Or you can just call me a faggot,

I wouldn't say you're going insane.. it's just the early signs of it. I would definitely get help ASAP, the earlier the better.

I suffer from depression and schizophrenia and I refused to get help for years, thinking it would make me weak, and it really took control of my life. I finally had a mental breakdown one day when a voice I still sometimes hear kept telling me to end my life.

Get help before it gets too late, man.

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Bumping with her tits cause I really need some help

>>680133476
That's exactly how I'm feeling. Its not enough yet that I can't function, but I don't want to take any more medications. I was diagnosed a bit back with bipolar disorder and was in olanzapine for it but I stopped taking it because I gained 70 lbs and grew bitch tits that I had to get removed via surgery...

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Here's tits for an actual response. Also, I know it sounds insane, and I keep telling myself it's not true, but I'm convinced that I'm in a coma and nothing I'm experiencing is any more than a dream. Multiple things lead me to this, but I don't know how to tell whether or not this is real... That's why I think of suicide so often. I want to know if I'm real...

>>680133703

I'm going to be completely honest with you, and I'm sorry if this hurts your feelings, but I want to help because I've dealt with this shit since I was 13-14.

Fuck off with the weight stuff, eat less if you're getting fat.

Your mental health is what is most important. Don't waste time making excuses. If you're scared now, it IS going to get worse. It won't just magically go away. I'm not inside your head and I don't know what you hear, or what hallucinations you see, but if they're violent or wanting you to harm yourself, please, get help, man. Don't be embarassed. It takes more balls to admit you have a serious problem than to pretend you don't have any problems.

>>680133941

That's how it started with me. Thinking it wasn't real, or convincing myself the hallucinations or voices never happened. Or it was something everyone experiences. I wanted so badly for all these issues to just be made up in my head and it to disappear. Suicide isn't an answer for this. Again, get help.

>>680134138
How do I go about getting help without them locking me up in a hospital? The whole deal with weight fucked up me so I started eating less and less and now I'm down to 300ish calories a day. I hate myself, my mind keeps telling my I'm not worth it, idk... Its not other voices. Its my own. Everyone says with schizophrenia you hear voices, but I don't. I hear my own voice. Is that even possible?

>>680134392

Definitely up your calories, mate. Go to 1500, and you'll probably stabilize or steadily lose weight depending on how active you are. Depending on the seriousness of this issue, I know it might not be something overnight that allows you to eat that much, but work towards it!

If you're seeing a therapist or psychologist or something, I doubt they'd throw you in a hospital or something, unless you act out on violent thoughts. Just admitting it and seeking help probably won't get you "locked up." I hear my own voice in my head, I don't really think that's schizophrenia. Everyone has an internal voice, I think.

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>>680133941
Holy fuck man those look like my ex's tits, here is her ass.

>>680134620
That's what I thought at first, but I don't control the voice. I recognize it as my own but I don't know what it's going to say, it's almost as if he's a separate entity that lives in my head. Its thoughts are not mine. I want to be happy, and it wants to die. I don't understand it at all. From all the research I've done, most people don't hear their own voice, it's someone else's...

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>>680134392
Also please get help, my ex ended up having bipolar and went bat shit insane some times, but when you get meds etc it really does make you a better person. Like the guy said above, it takes real balls to admit you have a problem, so let people know and they will be there to help you.

Also if you go to them and work through it I very much doubt you will be locked up.

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>>680134688
Here's pussy to keep thread going. I need advice. I need to know if I'm crazy. I have way more and other exes for anyone interested.

>>680134871

Oh, right, I gotcha. How old are you?

Here's something that really clicked with my thoughts and reminded me of how you describe it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVh3J3Hz86k

That's obviously more for depression than schizophrenia. It's a hard thing to deal with. It really is. In my experience, it's best to get a distraction. Movies, music, video games, fuck, even this stupid website helps. But just venting and talking it out with someone, even just a friend who doesn't know shit about it, helps. I still urge you to get professional help.

Is there any way to get it to stop without meds? Or do I have to be a slave to that shit for the rest of my life?

>>680135166

In my experience, you have dark periods and good times. Sometimes will be worse than others, sometimes I can go a couple weeks without hearing anything or having a depressed period. I've been dealing with it for 12 years now.

>>680135134
I'm just turned 19. And I've been dealing with depression/bipolar/whatever they choose to call it that year, since I was 13ish. It wasn't until this year that I starting hearing things and seeing things. And it's only when I'm alone. If I'm with other people I don't hear him. I try and surround myself with people at all times to combat it, but when I'm alone, it's really bad

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Here's another ex, anyone still here...?

>>680136082

Any more pics of her?

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>>680135457
You ever think when you're alone to just try and keep yourself busy, playing vidya or reading? Sometimes if you keep worrying about whats going on in your head it's all your going to focus on and it's going to make the worry a reality, some people are like that.

I'd recommend trying to stay busy at all times, join a gym? But really first thing is to see a shrink and try and get yourself checked out properly, I know you don't want to hurt anybody now or in the future.

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>>680136172
Just this one, then a few clothed ones. Bikinis and shit. I have way more of the first girl. Pretty much the same pic here

>>680136528
Vidya is what I'm doing now, and I have a hard time falling asleep anymore because when I lay down to go to bed I have to lay and be alone with him. Music doesn't help, Tv doesn't help, I have to be interacting with something or someone. It's 6am and I still haven't slept and I probably won't. I don't want to want to kill myself, if that makes any sense.

I worked in a small group home for people with schizophrenia. Most of them were fucked but they all seemed quite a bit stupider than you (like clinically borderline retarded). Other than that, most of them were good most of the time as long as they kept to the meds.

I'd say go get a few student opinions by different psychologists. Especially when it comes to meds, get a few opinions and do a lot of research on your own. And definitely look at newer drugs with skepticism. It's sad to admit but most psychiatrists will prescribe whatever the pharmaceutical companies pay them extra for. They'll change it once you have a bad reaction, but industry standard drugs are mainstays for a reason.

Good luck bro. Even in relatively severe cases, with meds you can lead a pretty normal life. At least no more fucked up than anyone else on /b/.

>>680137113
>a few student opinions
A few different opinions. Stupid phone.

I've always wondered about the voices though. Does it sound like someone right next to you is talking? Or is it far off like an echo? Is it just snippets of dialogue or full sentences and shit? Different human sounding voices with unique pitch and tone and shit? Or are they familiar to you or not human sounding?

Just curious.

Thanks for the advice /b/ros. I really needed opinions. I wish it would just go away.

>>680132938
Wow this thread is so interesting. Research shows that the earlier you get onto it with medication and such the better your prognosis is. You know the incidence of schizophrenia is around 7 people in 1000, but obviously there are so many people that in a small city of say 1,000,000 people that's 7000 people with schizophrenia. Anyway what's stopping you from seeking treatment, what's getting in your way?

>>680137460
>I've always wondered about the voices though. Does it sound like someone right next to you is talking? Or is it far off like an echo? Is it just snippets of dialogue or full sentences and shit? Different human sounding voices with unique pitch and tone and shit? Or are they familiar to you or not human sounding?

>Just curious.
I don't really know how to explain it best but it started off as hearing just noises in the distance that I knew couldn't possibly be there. laughing when I'm all alone in my house, footsteps above me, at 3 am when I know my neighbor is asleep, but then it got worse. It's not voices either, like I explained. I recognize the voice speaking as my own. But it's not me. Sometimes it's close, and loud, sometimes it far away, sometimes I can't really tell if I'm hearing it or not. Sometimes I hear things that don't sound human but they aren't voices, more of sounds. And this sounds like the epitome of insanity but I most frequently hear a sound that I can only describe as an alien ship landing. Feel free to ask anything else, I want to understand it just as much as you do..

>>680137837
It's probably best to see a psychiatrist about this. You'll need to get a referral through your doctor. Also I'm interested to know if you have a family history of psychosis?

>>680137837
I'm afraid of being locked up in a hospital. I've been there. I hated it. I never want to go back. And I don't want people that I know to look at me like I'm insane. I'm trying to make a life for myself, and I just started, and I don't want to fail already. If I go to a hospital, I'll be there for weeks, I'll have lost my job, I'll still have to pay rent due to my lease being only one month old, it just doesn't seem worth it right now if I can still manage I guess. I'm just scared it will get worse and I won't be able to deal with it.

>>680138246
Not schizophrenia, but my grandmother has dementia/Alzheimer's, my great grandfather was bipolar and killed his whole family and himself one night. Except for my grandfather, who got away and was adopted. My first cousin on that side of the family also has bipolar disorder, and my dad has been diagnosed with bipolar as well. That's why the shrinks were inclined to think bipolar disorder. But I really don't think that's what I have because I've talked with my dad about it, and while the depression and manic highs are similar and shared, he doesn't hear anything or see anything, or think things that are clearly insane like I do.

>>680138019
Holy fook

>>680138357
yeah all legit fears mang. I can understand that you'd be worried that they'd put you away and you'd lose all progress in your life. There still is a stigma around mental illness unfortunately, however meetings with psychiatrists and doctors are confidential. Also they don't put people away like they used to in the old days. Only really severe cases with people who can't function anymore. It sounds like you're still functioning. So there's no risk of that. but get onto it, the quicker the better, otherwise there's a risk your symptoms will worsen. Most people with schizophrenia lead totally normal lives with treatment

>>680138688
Another fear I have is that if I go back on the medication that I'll end up a zombie again. I didn't hear anything with the meds, but I didn't feel like myself. It felt like I wasn't there. It felt like my body was just a shell for a host that no longer inhabited it.

>>680138939
what did they give you?

>>680132938
smoke lots of weed
take lsd
shut yourself away from society and remember that they are looking for you all the time , that is how we found you here. we are going to track you down and kill you .
try and get away ......we have your internet connectin monitored and one of our people is following you everywhere and watching your home.
kill, swim, kill , swim ,kill, swim , the potatoes are poisoned too. take the red towel away first.

>>680138995
An atypical anti psychotic called Olanzapine. I also tried Abilify, and it worked wonders and I felt amazing, but a few weeks in I started having seizures so I had to stop the treatment.

>>680137460
For me, it was just like the voice you "hear" when you are reading something, so internal voice.
Except when I was at my worst, then I was hallucinating people who could not be there and who where talking to me.

>>680132938
i would recomend you doing some research on your own, and go to the doctors just to see what they would say, and then medicate yourself (i think doctors just go random different drugs until they find the right one, you can do that on your own), and trying some alternative techniques (mediation, even shrooms), and most importantly getting getting your life in order (eat several times a day at the same time, sleep 8-10 hours at the same time everyday) and generaly getting your life in order, also dont dring alcohol. I would do that (i dont have any mental disorders or experience with it but i hope i helped you in some way)

>>680139074
Even though this is a troll response, I think the things you're telling me to use to fix it are making it worse. I filled my teen years with massive amounts of drug use. Typically only weed, shrooms, and LSD, but I fear that I've done this to myself and that I can't fix it.

>>680139123
Really? I didn't think this was typical for schizophrenics, but you're describing what I hear.

>>680139361
Never got diagnostic, so I don t know. It got beter when I stopped shutting myself from the world, I didn t got any voices for years now, sometimes insane thought, but nothing of the level I had back then.

>>680139110
>>680138680
hmm I can understand why they'd think it was bipolar, it's genetic influence is probably higher than schizophrenia since your dad and grandfathers had bipolar. But it sounds like schizophrenia. I think medication is sometimes more like an art than a science. They have to try a few before they find the right one. They need to get their diagnosis right first though. I'll run through a few questions if you like which you can show them to provide evidence.

>>680139262
I've tried all that to distract myself. I've got a girlfriend that loves me, I have a decent job, I have a great circle of friends, etc.. It never does anything. When I have a girlfriend, I'm constantly told by him that I'm not good enough, that she doesn't really love me, that she's leading me on, that I couldn't possibly deserve her love etc. I find it difficult to have positive thoughts without him telling me I'm worthless not a few seconds later. I'll tell myself I'm fine, and that he's not real and that nothing he says is relevant, and that I have all the tools I need to be happy. But I'm not. Normal people are happy in my situation. But no matter how good things get, he convinces me that it won't last. And it never does. He knows that things will come crashing down,

>>680139578
I'd really like that. Anything to fix this.

>>680139767
If you argue with him, what happen?
Serious question, had a lesser case of the same thing.

Ever heard of biofeedback?
Might be a bit of a long shot, but it helps with a lot of conditions, both physical and mental. If it doesn't fully cure you, it should at least greatly improve your self control and quality of life. I know it sounds like some new age bullshit but it works. Look up a center near you and ask the guys there if it'll help. They're almost always psychologists but not psychiatrists so they can't send you to a hospital even if they wanted to. Plus it's not in any way related to taking medicine so you aren't risking any further damage.

>>680140024
Sorry just interested, what is the process for Biofeedback??

>>680139932
I try not to talk back. I dont want him to have control, and if I talk to him like he's there, then I feel like it will spiral worse and worse and eventually I wont be able to tell it's just a hallucination. I've yelled at him a few times but I got the same responses as usual at the same frequency so I don't even know if he can hold a conversation, and I dont want to find out.

>>680140024
I noticed when reading about it that it doesn't have schizophrenia listed as a disorder that it can treat, just other mental things. Does it actually work?

>>680140139
>>680140139
I understand it s scary, what I did, but I realise that I was on a lesser level, was counter what he said. Not out loud, not screaming, not angrily.
Just stating the positive verse of what he said.

>"Your girlfriend don t love you"
>"I still get to fuck her"
>"She will leave you soon"
>"I ll just have a chance to find a better one"
>"You ll never find a good paying job"
>"I m in engineer school"

I don t think it is what made him disapear, but it sure helped to maintain a positive attitude.

>>680140139
hm, why dont you try talking to it (in your head, not aloud, if you can) instead of blocking him out, getting to know him? he is you after all, maybe hes trying to tell you whats wrong, maybe he can get some insight who you are? i think you will always know hes real, right? if hes so negative, that prob means youre a negative and pessimistic person, maybe go from there?

>>680139882
>>680139882
sorry i typed them up so it took a while:

These questions are from the Community Assessment of Psychic Experience (CAPE) questionnaire, you could answer them and take it to a GP/psychiatrist to give evidence for psychosis:

1.) The first thing is seeing a vision - that is seeing something that other people who were there could not see. Did you ever see a vision that other people could not see?

- Did this ever happen when you were NOT dreaming, NOT, half-asleep and NOT under the influence of alcohol or drugs? (sober)

- About how many times in your life did this ever happen? (while sober)

- Could you give a brief example of a time when this happened?

- What do you think caused this to happen?

>>680136791
i got no idea of this subject, i cant contribute, but i hope the best for you, if that helps.

>>680140994
2.) The second thing is hearing voices that other people could not hear. I don't mean having good hearing, but rather hearing things that other people said did not exist, like strange voices coming from inside your head talking to you or about you, or voices coming out of the air when there was no one around. Did you ever hear voices in this way?

- Did this ever happen when you were NOT dreaming, NOT, half-asleep and NOT under the influence of alcohol or drugs? (sober)

- About how many times in your life did this ever happen? (while sober)

- Could you give a brief example of a time when this happened?

- What do you think caused this to happen?

>>680140120
They put electrodes on your head that measure the electrical impulses your brain gives off (they don't put any electricity IN you, they measure what your brain produces). Then it gets run through an amplifier and broken down in 6 waves that need to be in certain relation to one another for your brain to function properly. If one of your waves' frequency is higher than it needs to be, then one of the others' will be lower and that manifests into physical symptoms ranging from lack of sleep to chronic diseases to severe mental disorders. The way they stabilize those frequencies is by letting you play a game. You get 3 parameters and you try to get them to where they should be by thinking. For example you're driving a car and there are 3 variables:
1: are you keeping the car on the right lane?
2: is the car slowing down or are you moving it at a steady pace?
3: is the background foggy or clear?
If you're doing it right, the things on the screen are going right. If not, then your car is doing wonky things. You basically get visual feedback on what your brain is doing, hence the term biofeedback. The main principle behind it is that the brain is adaptive. If you live in a constant state of stress, be it from school, work, family, etc. your brain gets used to that state and being stressed out becomes your default state on a purely chemical level (hormones and such). By making you play these games they help you find the way your brain SHOULD be acting and then you just try to maintain that feeling. With time, your brain gets used to it and it becomes the normal setting. Am I making sense, cause I'm not really sure I'm doing this thing justice. It's gotten me out of depression and I know for a fact it cures epilepsy and a number of other disorders.

>>680141047
3.) The third thing is really two. One is believing that some mysterious force was inserting many different strange thoughts - that were definitely not your own thoughts - directly into your head by means of x-rays or laser beams or other methods. The other is believing that your own thoughts were being stolen out of your mind by some strange force. Did you ever have either of these mind control experiences?

- Did this ever happen when you were NOT dreaming, NOT, half-asleep and NOT under the influence of alcohol or drugs? (sober)

- About how many times in your life did this ever happen? (while sober)

- Could you give a brief example of a time when this happened?

- What do you think caused this to happen?

>>680140494
That sounds similar to what I do. I tell myself that he's just lying. That if she wanted to leave or hurt me she'd have done it by now. It's still hard to believe because he seems to know things in advance. He know whats I'm going to say and he counters it with exactly what he knows hurts the most. I've tried to outplay him, and trick him, by telling myself positive things, Once, I tried repeating what he was saying in a sarcastic tone, in an attempt to mock him and shut him up and that didn't work either. The only response I got was a laugh and something along the lines, of "now, you're understanding"

>>680141127
4.) The fourth unusual thing is feeling that your mind was being taken over by strange forces with laser beams or other methods that were making you do things you did not choose to do. Did you ever have a time when you felt that your mind was being taken over by strange forces?

Schizophrenia can be very manageable. Go to a psychiatrist immediately and they'll tell you if you need meds to keep it in check. You may have to take these for the rest of your life.

Stay away from psychedelics.

Good luck anon.

>>680141212
5.) The fifth thing is believing that some strange force was trying to communicate directly with you by sending special signs or signals that you could understand but that no one else could understand. Sometimes this happens by special signs coming through the radio or television.

6.) Sixth, did you ever believe that there was an unjust plot going on to harm you or to have people follow you that your family and friends did not believe was true?

>>680132938
Do these voices call you a faggot?

>>680141273
Finally how old were you when this first happened?

How many different days did these things happen in the past 12 months?

and done, you don't have to answer it all now, but you can like write it up and print it out to give to a psychiatrist, once you get the referral from your GP.

>>680138019
wow man
seek halp

and be grateful that you were born in a time where there is medication for your shit. if you were born just 300 years before, well, you would be way moar fucked...

>>680140364
It works wonders, but again I don't know how much it can help in your particular case. That's why you should just go for a consultation, I doubt they'd charge you for that.

>>680141187
And if you don t direct your thought to him, but on yourself, as if you were a counterpart of him, but here to give you positive thought instead of negative ones?

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OP, if you're still here I want you to take what I am about to say seriously. You are not in a coma, you are a soul living inside a hunk of meat. This life is to teach you about actual life, and to appreciate and love the fact that life itself can't be beaten, it and you are eternal. My personal theory is that someone in the next life is trying to get ahold of you, and the only way to get there is by ending it. I want to die to move on to the next life, but I'm still alive so it isn't my time which means it's not time for you. Pain and sorrow and anything that doesn't feel good, isn't real. You can control your mind and make it your tool again, you're letting it control you. Take a while and look around and really, REALLY, take in life. It's a long journey, but it's manageable.

bump
i fear this gold disappears

>>680141575
Or you go and shoot some people in a mall before blowing your own head off.

>>680141442
I think it's called neurofeedback

>>680141833
rolling for this

>>680141833
^this

bumping again, this threadh shouldnt die!!

>>680140994
I've never seen a full visual hallucination, but I see people that I know can't be there out of the corner of my eye all the time. This happens more frequently when I'm sober than when I'm high. CBD found is cannabis is actually a natural anti psychotic so I've noticed smoking tends to alleviate some symptoms, but I can't live my life high all the time. I can't recall a number of how many, but I'd say at least 2-3 times every night I'll see something that I know isn't there. There aren't too many specific encounters, that stick out, it's just something that happens. I guess the last time it happened was a few hours ago while I was playing gta. I saw a shadow walk out of my hallway into my bathroom. I have no idea, but I really wish I did.

>>680141047
Yes. All the time when I'm alone, rarely when I'm with someone. To provide an example, I'm going to drop some things my girlfriend left over at my house off here in an hour or so and I was told that I shouldn't leave because I'll embarrass her if she's seen with me. Again, I don't know.

>>680141127
This has never happened, but I do have thoughts that I know are delusional. I am convinced that I'm currently in a coma and that everything I'm experiencing is but a dream. It sounds odd, but it just makes sense to me. I haven't met anyone new in a while, but I've been talking to people that I was friends with in high school again. My mind tells me this is because it's impossible for me to receive new information while in a coma, and I know that. Meaning that my brain is simply recycling people I already knew.

>>680141212
Nope

>>680141273
Nope to 5 for 6, a few times, but I normally snap out of it swiftly, as I realize it's not rational. I'm afraid for the day when I don't know the difference.

>>680141430
Started at late 17, and I noticed its worse by early 19. (the past few months) At first, it didn't happen frequently, but now it's every time I'm alone.


>>680141023
thanks anon

>>680141575
okey you are fucking insane m8

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bump?

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dont die threadd

>>680143156
You seem to be the only one left in the thread, any questions for me? I'll answer anything, if it can help. Or of you're just curious. I know I am.

>>680143394
see
>>680141558

>>680143394
well, I can recommend you to try meditation
it will increase your self-consciousness and... well, if you take it really far, you will not just lose the voice, but also completely lose your identity and live just 'in the moment', 'in the now'...
i've fucked with tantra, buddhism and meditation before, so Im talking from own experience...
you can have meditation as a way out from madness, but its a radical one.
now im trying to return to being myself after losing my own identification, my identity, in tantra and meditation... but i know it centers you and it eliminates any 'madness' like what you are describing... if that kinda makes any sense.

>>680143534
I've tried that, but he knows that I am him.

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>>680143709
im >>680143676 again.

through meditation I des-identificated myself from ANY voice 'inside my head'. I was the silence and deep emptiness inside me, beyond all words.

>>680136528
Holy fuck whats her name, she looks identical to my ex

>>680143676
It does, but it's not anger that I feel, it's self loathing. Well. I don't really hate me, he hates me, but he is me I guess.