the magical genie grants you 1 wish, other anons put conditions

>>679965616
on tuesdays only


mine : time travel

>>679965796
On Tuesdays only.

Mine: every day is tgit

Ability to pause time.

>>679965907
>>679966126
Forgot to say; But you have to work saturday.

>>679966126
only works when you're halfway through taking a shit

Ability to do anything

>>679965616
But you're trapped in a box under 100 ft of cement.

>>679965796
But you become blind, mute and deaf for the same amount of time you travelled. Eg forward one week you are blind deaf and mute for a week

>>679965907
You are trapped in an endless loop of Fridays

>>679966126
But when you do it pauses all atoms in the universe locking them in place such that the air around you locks you in place

One wish. The ability to shapeshift at will into any form I can imagine

>>679966844
but shapeshifting to and from takes 1h and last only 10min

Mine : become ethereal

>>679966844
> the ability to shapeshift at will into any form i can imagine

everytime you shapeshift, for two hours, 20 crows and a monkey come chasing you to rip your eyes out

>>679967140
But when you do so, u become 20cm tall

Mine: i can read minds

>>679965616
>being able to switch genders everytime I want

>>679967417
you can do it once in a month

I want to be able to manipulate people with my mind

>>679967417
But you can only "read" what they really think about you

mine : to turn women back in their teen years while I fuck them

>>679967643
you need their permission first

>>679967417
Only the minds of retarded people/people that are basically plants

>>679967643
But you can only force them believing to be an animali

mine : every thought i have become reality

>>679967727
you entire family has to watch while you fuck them

>>679967727
But you turn into a dead old man

>>679967727
But they grows 2 extra arms each time you use your power

I grant for her to fall in love with me and we marry and have kids and live happily ever after.

>>679967856
>>679967860

Let's agree never to use this power ^^

>>679967949
shes a muslim

Create anything imaginable

>>679968029
using pieces of your dead pets

>>679968029
But you must get fucked by what you created

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OPM powers come at me.

>>679968082
>>679968113
Shit

>>679968174
But only when you piss

>>679968004
Perfect, she isn't anymore but it still wouldn't matter.

I can fly

>>679966336
Kek

>>679968308
Underwater

>>679968308
But only at 1Meter/Hour

>>679968373
Oh come on.....

>>679968308
only when you're masturbating

>>679968436
I'm fine with that.....

>>679968232
I can survive that one bank robbery is enough to keep me good for the rest of my life :)

Power: Destroy someone's life through gossip

>>679968308
Only while holding your breath

>>679968483
I'd you can pass through an entire bank robbery you deserve an award

Ability to read other's thoughts and opinions.

>>679968595
They can read yours while you do it

>>679968512
you gain as much hate as whoever you gossiped about

Mine : i can fuck objects and let them have an orgasm

>>679968595
You speak out the persons thoughts as y oh read them

>>679968595
only when your licking their ear

I wish my bad wouldn't ve been diagnosed with cancer.

>>679968720
they all become pregnant

>>679968798
Hell yeah!

>>679968777
dad*?

everytime you jack him off 10% of the cancer goes away

>>679968865
Well I don't know what I wouldve been expecting.

>>679968865
Mmm...10% is too much, 1% should be fine...

>>679968720
Your testicles explode

unlimited supply of weed and gin

Ability to make everything you think about real

>>679969220
you cant choose what becomes real and what doesnt

All Muslims drop dead is my wish

>>679969220
Scroll up, ur 3rd...

>>679968004
kek

>>679969217
You can't get intoxicated by anything

>>679969282
And so do you

>>679969217
But you can't touch them

>>679969282
once a month everybody has to visit the closest mass grave and be all respectfull, shit like that.

maybe some speeches

Death

>>679969384
A small sacrifice

can not be destroyed under any circumstances except when my body reaches the Planck temperature, ill even survive a blackhole

>>679965616
The Earth enters a 10,000 year ice age.

>>679969492
only works on people you dont want to die

>>679969492
caused by ants

>>679969495
the hero we need

>>679969514
You become a paranoid schizophrenic

>>679969576
all animals lose their fur for the next 10,000 years, only blubber can be used for warmth

I become happy

>>679969670
>implying I care if we live or die as a species

>>679969514
you have to make out with a dead baby for 1hour a day

>>679969735
Only by killing yourself

Furry Waifu

>>679969659
im not even kidding when i say im writing a book of THAT exact nature...

im writing a book about a creature who wakes up on a distant planet and tries to kill himslef over and over again buut cant, eventually losing his sanity

thats so fucking weird that you brought that up


holy shit...

Ability to summon your own creatures from hell

>>679969826
She has no orifices.

>>679969735
Happy like tards though getting excited over happy meals and cartoons

>>679969826
Waifs is the worst ever

>>679969826
thats only 11 inches tall

>>679969826
but it cant see you

>>679969904
They cannot be controlled by anyone and may turn on you if they want to

>>679969904
can only summon succubus'

>>679969735
all conditions added to this are gone, be happy

you also get $5 and a puppy

>>679969923
she suffocates to death?

>>679965616
I want the same powers as superman

>>679969904 you have to pull them out of your mothers vagina

>>679970077
you have to live on krypton, you can travel from it but it must be your normal residence

>>679970077
You accidentally eat kryptonite

My cum is like spiderman's web, and I can shoot it whenever I like. It also makes me orgasm like crazy constantly as a byproduct.

I can only ever post dubs or higher

>>679970077
only when you're naked

>>679970077
I got double dubs so where the fuck is my power

>>679970077
You live on a planet orbiting a white dwarf

>>679970256
it doesnt wash away unless sprayed with alcohol

>>679970256
but everytime you use it your dick gets 1" shorter

>>679970284
nobody checks

>>679970284
You lose a year of your life for every post

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>>679970427
FUCK

>>679970256
You need to fuck your dad every night to keep it or you will lose it forever

>>679970256
You have to cut your dick of
Every orgasm u have is from anal stimulation

i can breath fire

nothing i own ever needs charging, and the wifi is fast and free

>>679970567
your fuel is bleach

Wish I had a real functioning Lightsabre

Become a taco

>>679970576
Only when you're closing your eyes

>>679970576
You are homeless and don't have anything over 20$

>>679970576
But you can only go on tumblr

>>679970688
You're a fish taco

>>679970688
It's never Tuesday

>>679970576
Nothing connects to the wi fi network

>>679970671
but to charge it you need to take 3 black dicks a day

>>679970671
It doesn't cut anything and just looks prettt

>Banhammer irl.
The ability to literally ban people from life. Not kill them, just force them into a kind of alternate purgatory, reflecting who they were.

4chan is good again

>>679970828
Breaking the law is autoban

Never run out of mint-flavored chewing gum.

>>679970828
it costs $500 to do so and you have to physically smack them with a hammer

>>679970830
It was never good

>>679970897
The taste lasts for 15 seconds and make your breath smell like cum

>>679970897
they are all out of date

>>679970781
Deal. That's only one more than usual.

>>679970671
OK but you get no force powers and a cop shoots you

>>679970828
Purgatory can only contain 10 people, trying to put more will release the others, and they will all know who banned them.

Customer service is actually good and helpful.

>>679971044
Everything else is awful

>>679971044
Your stuff never breaks, so you dont have a reason to call.

>>679971044
all payment is done online

>>679971109
downside you fucking nigger

>>679971109
This is uh... this is not the correct way to do one of these.

>>679971077
>life

>>679965616
Genie I use my wish to set you free

I have a pet dog

All nachos in the world become sweet cream & onion flavored. Forever.

>>679971211
It hates you

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I wish that my wish no have any conditions set on it

>>679971220
There's a limited supply

>>679971220
all replies are invalid
you get them anon
you get them all

>>679970884
>Breaking the law is autoban

>>679970913
>it costs $500 to do so and you have to physically smack them with a hammer

This is acceptable. I'll just charge the God-fearing about to die, for an escape from hell.

>>679971021
>Purgatory can only contain 10 people, trying to put more will release the others, and they will all know who banned them.

Doubt anyone will believe them if they told anyone. Probably get blamed for faking their own deaths.

>>679971179
Scram, nigga, i am the boss here, i make my own rules.

>>679971207
he gives you unlimited wishes that can only be granted if you ask form them in your sleep

I wish other anons couldnt put conditions on my wishes.

>>679971278
>not even saying anything about my condition

>>679971207
Hi Alice

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>>679971207
You take its place.

my dad lets me watch anime

>>679971278
They will find you tho. They will find you.

>>679971263
>>679971305
Your wish fails

>>679971334
Bit he gets to fuck your boipussi

>>679971334
Just Hentai

>>679971323
fuck dude, thats good

>>679971393
>hentai is bad
Literally the worst one yet

>>679971334
He gets to choose.

one of the worlds religions is real and true

i have a cup that contains a limitless amount of liquid inside it.

>>679971309
>>not even saying anything about my condition

Both were acceptable and conditions I could work with. No further comment was necessary.


>>679971357
>They will find you tho. They will find you.

Let them. I'll get rich, they'll probably die before they can get to me, if i only prey on the old, dying and fearful of hell.

>>679971488
You'll never know which one.
All others lead to hell.
(It was Mormonism btw)

>>679971488
it's one your little brother made up where all he thought about was demon hurting you because one time you sat on his candy bar


lol no that's just a joke though i wouldn't put that on you

I wish for everyone else in the world to go somewhere else and leave the planet and all the stuff to me.

>>679971549
It's only horsecum

>>679971488
Granted Islam is the real religion and you a born as a girl in a backwards village

>>679971588
You need to be assfucked by everyone leaving

>>679971588
they take all technology with them

>>679971588
Man if that's not hell to you see a counselor man.

>>679971588
You go blind, with no one to care for you.

>>679971588
it comes true and then you're alone and you don't know where your family and friends went but after 15 months of crippling loneliness you realize how much it hurts and then cry out in pain and then everybody comes back and is your friend again.

>>679969735
Only when raping a 9 yo boy

>>679970671
you have to make the lightsabre noises while you use it, if theyre not real enough it doesnt work

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>>679971626
FUCK

I wish for never-ending world peace.

Bernie wins the election.

>>679971758
Islam takes over the world, and you're reborn as a girl.

Reincarnation in real

>>679971758
You have to sacrifice 10 niggers per day to keep it that way.

>>679971778
Bernie takes Hillary as his VP, and dies in office a week later.

>>679971758
you have to die for it

Dubs?

>>679971827
You get reborn into yourself and live the same life every time.

>>679971778
Bernie is now president

>>679966844
You can only imagine soft cock shaped things

>>679971778
But but he's a lizard

I wish for her.

No more muslims or traps.

>>679971897
you must roll ten time with a funny picture for it to happen

>>679971897
All singles become dubs, but you become a tranny.

I wish I lived in America

>>679971908
can i change the way i live my life?

>>679972031
You have no will to do it.

>>679971935
all become blacks

all candy is healthy, hydrating, tasty, and in large supply

>>679972013
back in the 1700's

>>679972031
only after you die

I can blow up the whole universe

>>679972013
Except you have to live in the worst prison your whole life

>>679972094
Turns you into a liberal.

>>679972077
does it ever end? like groundhog day?

i can turn other girls gay using my mind

>>679972094
its all licorice

>>679972157
It never ends.

I wish i could pass through matters

>>679972094
its all yellow flavour, all of it

>>679972174
They immediately become fat and ugly.

>>679972174
It's irreversible and happens to every girl you ever think about.
And I mean full-blown dyke. No bi-shit.

>>679972120
so i can decide how many times i live my life before i go to oblivion
.
.
.
you can only blow up the universe by touching the top of mount Everest

>>679972174
There all butch and smell

>>679972174
Each girl you 'transform' must cut one of ur fingers (finished fingers, they go on arms, then lega and so on)

there's a huge ayy lmao party and everybody's invited

>>679972218
You get dyslexia and can only pass through mattress.

>>679972218
Granted but can only pass through fecal matter