youre one of those special kinds of faggots, arent you?
buy the biggest hotdog bun you can.
Buy mustard and ketchup and dill pickle spears
put cat in bun. add generous amounts of condinments and top with pickle
Put in neighbours mailbox and wait
when you dont even notice you got trips
Bring it inside and if you have family/gf, act like it's alive and you love and kiss it on the regular until the head falls off. Everytime someone says that it's dead, yell in your loudest voice and start hitting them with the cat.
If you don't have a family, put something on it to cover the smell and sell it to a dumb kid as a sleeping dog, or you cut off its paws, and kidnap other cats in the neighborhood. When the family starts to worry, put the paw in a box and leave it next to their toilet with a letter saying, "pay the brotherhood or next time it's the head."
Not actually. the the real odds would be very difficult to take, it's not 1/1000 because the number isn't random, it goes up, so you have some kind of idea of when it's coming up.
Dress it up in camo, then leave it there until someone asks you about it, then pretend you haven't seen it
rape it in front of your friends, family and coworkers
Put it in the God damn trash
Rollin around at the speed of sound