One of my roommates, a fat hypocrite muslim bitch, has a pet parakeet. Now, I do not have any problems with birds, nor pets in general, but I fucking cringe how some people interact and communicate with their pets. This fat muslim is one of those people.
She literally talks to the fucking birds all day long. And I mean real talk, like proper fucking conversations. As if the bird fucking understands a single word of what she is saying. In between fucking sentences she makes all these retard fucking sounds. Every day when I am home I hear her fucking talking and making noises to that fucking bird. The fucking autism, I cannot handle it. She even has dinner with the fucking bird. Yes, she fucking cooks dinner in the kitchen, makes a tiny plate with fucking vegetables and fruit and dines with the fucking bird in her room.
So, for a long time I have wondered how to end this bullshit. I realize it's quite simple: kill the fucking bird. Obviously, I cannot just fucking kill it with my bare hands, because she would know someone in our house did it. Now, she does always leave her door open whenever she goes to college. What would work? Rat poison? Would the fucking bird eat it? What other methods are avaible to the fucking bird die?
>INB4 white knight retards crying about the fucking bird
>>675783074 Can you imagine a fucking muslim hobbit talking to a bird every fucking day, for several months straight? It never fucking stops. She literally talks to the bird all day long. There is not a 5 minute break when she is at home. I can hear through the fucking walls.
>>675783516 It is a bird that has been trapped in a cage all of its life. Open a window and off it will fuck. Shit, in the UK we have flocks of lovebirds and shit that have escaped, bred and are doing fine.
>>675784292 With what? What kind of substance would kill the tihng? And what substance would it consume if you add it to the water? I reckon it would not touch the water if I, let's say, add bleach to it.
>remembers faces >has reasoning skills powerful enough to let them learn how to operate mechanisms, like opening their cage >can have a vocabulary of 100s of words >learn tricks quickly
they're even badass enough to completely outfly falcons and hawks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUpGRQK7o78
they can't recognize their own reflection, though, like magpies can. And they're incredibly socially reliant, so they attempt to treat the mirror as a companion and talk to it.
I'm whiteknighting it up, I know. You seem to be under the impression she won't just buy another bird, or take that one to the vet if it gets sick. They're like $15 at pet stores. The best way to deal with this is to either confront her about it and get into an argument, or get another roommate.
OP, I own a parrot, feed it avocado, it will most likely kill it and most domesticated birds will eat it like nothing is wrong.
Also most birds have very sensitive respiratory systems, smoke inhalation, aerosol sprays, of even burning a Teflon pan will all damage the bird if not kill it. Seriously just feed it a bunch of avacado then hide the avacado evidence.
>>675784876 Everyone has talked to her about it. People called her nuts, but she doesn't care, because she is. Everyone in the house mentions that is annoying and weird. She doesn't care, because she is.
She is fat, hairy, religious and talks to a bird 24/7. I mean, what sense could I possibly make? She is not suspectible to reason.
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