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Need oldfag advice. Is marriage worth it? >25m

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 224
Thread images: 13

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Need oldfag advice.

Is marriage worth it?
>25m
>>
>>675740118
love is a trap
>>
>>675740623
why bro?
>>
>>675740118
Not at your age plenty of wild oats left m8
>>
>>675740845
That's what in my mind now...
Don't want mental splinters related to lost chances

But when is enough? by statistics one should never settle down.
>>
I'm in the last few days of a 17 year marriage. I'm getting to keep the house (after paying her about half the equity), but she got the car and most of the furniture. And I still have to pay her $1000 per month for the next 10 years. And we were sure we would NEVER get divorced. NOT WORTH IT!!!
>>
>>675741492
Holy shit anon...
what happened?
>>
24 femanon here married a year to a 27 yo m. Very worth it. No downsides yet. Instead of dumping one another over some minuscule thing, we've stuck it out. V nice. V good.
>>
She convinced herself that I cheated on her, then she got hooked up with the jehovah's witnesses (Notice I didn't capitalize on purpose). Basically she went a little crazy.
>>
>>675740118
Depends on what you want out of life, and who your partner is. It's good for raising a family. If you don't intend to have kids, for god's sake, DON'T DO IT. I beg of you, DON'T!
>>
I got married at 25 but I fucked a lot of women and knew what I wanted in a wife so I just kept going from girl to girl until I found her
>>
>>675741809
You're most likely being financially and emotionally carried by your husband...

Thanks for posting...but I wan't the male side of the version.
>inb4 patriarchy and shit
>>
>>675742244
Loneliness makes people tend to "security".
Shit happens mate, glad you made it out.

>>675742393
Feels like what I want atm. Any regrets or anything noteworthy?

>>675742286
That's my fear man. I love her but see her as mentally mediocre.
The mother of my children's best asset should be her mind.
>>
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>>675740118
op if she has ever cheated on you or you still think about fucking other girls or dont get along with her friends or family marriage will not help things at all
my ex and i were tight everyone was shocked when we broke up her mum talked her in to it pretty muck if anything is off now walk away their are loads of girls out their looking for a great guy
>>
>>675740118
Depends. If you both are comfortable with yourselves then why not. If you both can contribute then it's good.

If you both can't you'll feel that you have to support her, nothing sexy about an anchor.

Marriage should have an annual renewal date with no strings attached.

I plan on marrying my current gf. Was married before but now I know better.
>>
I liked being married, just not to the person I was married to. Only problem is... How do you find the "right" person? If she goes nuts like mine apparently did, what then?
>>
>>675742286
Oh man i have that fear. Ive been with my girl for 4 years and i love her/ plan on marrying her eventually, but shes just not the brightest thing and its slowly started to make me regret it.
>>
>>675743308
>you still think about fucking other girls

please elaborate bro, want to see your POV

>>675743370
>you'll feel that you have to support her
please elaborate bro, want to see your POV

>>675743389
wtf is right, you know?
there's always great people out there
just roll the dice again...
>>
Married 7yr after dating her for 8. Only get married if you wanna go thru every day wishing somebody would put an ax in the middle of your forehead. She seems like the perfect girl. Then she argues about the dumbest shit. So dumb that you wanna rip the skin off of your face. Then when that's over she will nag you about EVERYTHING until you hate the decision you made to marry her. You hate it so much you wish you didn't exist.
But I wish you the best of luck. I'm sure you will be happy together.
>>
>>675743851
>plan on marrying her eventually, but shes just not the brightest thing and its slowly started to make me regret it.

OP here, this is the exact reason of this thread.
>>
>>675744015
Nice sarcasm with:
>I'm sure you will be happy together.

What happened mate? What led you to this advice?
>>
>>675743308
>>675743911
still thinking of cheating or like its ok to watch porn im talking more go out looking for them or dating sites

also biggest thing how my ex fucked me over was a joint bank account do not get one at all she changes all of the money to a account she had set up in just her name i couldnt do a thing about it the bank said i told her i would take her to court for half of the money next day cops on my door shes clamming i use to beat her and shit get non contact order total bull shit new zealand laws are crap didnt even try to fight it female always wins in court its set up for them
>>
>>675744944
I'm a lawyer, got ways to hide money and ways to fix judge's decisions...

I do get that female's got the law on their side, but that's really no issue.

The question in the OP is directed to emotional issues.
>>
>>675742834
I always wanted a female with no aggressive traits or serious mental illnesses in her family so that my children wouldn't be at a disadvantage.
I don't have any regrets I did a lot of drugs, fucked anyone I thought was attractive enough, and just kept meeting women and seeing how talking to them was.
Crazy to hot scale does apply
>>
>>675745677
well your set if you have your shit sorted go for it i would just say keep your money safe as i didnt
>>
>>675744944
>>675745677
checked
>>
>>675746075
My wife is also very intelligent and has good mother instincts so I knew she could be a good mom when we're ready
>>
>>675742449
You couldn't be more right about us. Thank god for trust fundees amirite.
>>
>>675746075
>I always wanted a female with no aggressive traits or serious mental illnesses in her family so that my children wouldn't be at a disadvantage.
This is a serious concern of mine.
Her family is mentally mediocre (and poor, but that ain't important as mind skills/ambition).

>>675746144
Do you feel happy about marriage mate?
>money aside
>>
No don do it
Hookers are cheaper in the long run
6 years married and I need out
>>
>>675746550
This is what I want man, but feel like shit by being elitist about someone's characteristics.

>>675746719
What's your POV in relationships?
What do you feel anon?
>>
>>675747315
Never fucked a hooker... but curious about doing it.
You got kids? what happened?
>>
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>>675747352
idk what you want me to say.

I was a little over jealous over old "girlfriends" of his at times, at times got mad over trivial shit, and all the while was a femanon that was conditioned to know his opinion was more important than mine. Honestly that's what keeps the magic alive. I trust him more than I trust myself.

Also, no kids. We went in knowing that and will go out knowing that.

GL
>>
I have money.
I have cars.
I have a bike.
I have other toys.

NOTHING makes me feel better than actively talking to a female. I really think marriage would do me good and make me happy for a change.
>>
>>675748226
>conditioned to know his opinion was more important than mine. Honestly that's what keeps the magic alive.

Shit. that happens in my relationship. And I wish she was more proactive. It's like I'm just carrying her.Why anon?
>>
>>675748560
What's your take on possessions? Tools to find happy experiences?
Is another human a tool?
>>
25 meters to what?
>>
>>675748855

Well when you buy something, for me it always holds me over for a while. That always wears away though.

I never lose interest in certain females.
>>
>>675740118
Omg you're so young don't do it until 35
>>
>>675749007
25 meters closer to the edge, Mr Bond.
>>
>>675744015
EPIC RESPONSE.
Thank you
>>
>>675741809
Your opinion doesn't count, marriage always benefits the woman...
>>
>>675749090
>I never lose interest in certain females.
Females ini which you have a relationship? Or just mental infatuation?
>not wanting to sound like an asshole
>>
>>675749185
Why mate? Do you think you lost 10 years extra with your kids?
>>
>>675748596
Let her know that. Even thought that in itself is telling her what's what...

IMO it's a good thing as women are more than not likely to make a BIG mistake and ruin everything. Guys will cheat, sure, but that's it. Women will go batshit insane. You're lucky that she relies on you to not make the wrong decisions.
>>
>>675749477

Never been in a relationship to be honest.

But my demeanor changes entirely when I talk with them. Nothing makes me hold my head as high as when I talk with qts.

When I'm around friends at their parties and what not, I see everyone married with kids. I want that more than anything.
>>
>>675749701
Totally agree.
The problem is she's so passive... I don't wan't her teaching that to my kids. Plus her dad is afraid of me cause I make more money than him.
Idk if her love is lightly related to finances.
>fuck
>>
>>675750062
>I want that more than anything
You want it because its distant.
What pros/risks do you see bro?
>juat as a debate, no feelings
>>
No, it's not
>>
Old fag here. I have been married, divorced and remarried again. I would make damn sure that you have the right girl first. First marriage was a disaster cos the only reason I liked her was she was hot and liked anal. In reality we argued all the time about shit. Marriage no2 is better cos we friends.
>>
>>675750831
Why bro?
>>
>>675750582

Pros/risks? Only one way to find out.
>>
>>675750986
>Marriage no2 is better cos we friends.
My gf is one of my best friends.
The thing is she is not the brightest tool in the shed.
I think that is a really important perk in raising children.
>>
>>675743851
Following up... if there's ANYTHING that kind of triggers you a little bit... just a tiny little bit now, while you're in the delirious throes of wonderful lust, it'll grow and become a huge issue over time. Also, men are wired for promiscuity. People can totally lose all sexual interest over time, or women after childbirth. If one of you wants it and the other doesn't, it's hell. Or if you don't like where you live (as in climate or geographic change - not like across town) and want to move but your partner doesn't. Shit happens. It's hard, really hard to find a teammate who thinks the same way you do, forever. Marriage is for a long time. But one thing to remember... there is always divorce. Never contemplate murder. You'll fantasize, just don't consider the possibilities. Let the fantasy go by.
>>
>>675751274
fuck right?
>hey guys, just risk half your shit...
>jrolls dice
>>
>>675750308
Don't be worried about her love being related to finances. That's as bad as her worrying that you're cheating on her. Don't go crazy here it will tear you apart. You have a healthy relationship, besides, right? You're thinking about MARRIAGE of course you do. Count your blessings, anon. Too passive is a hell of a lot better than too aggressive of a woman.

Don't worry about what she'll pass on to your kids. I've been a preschool teacher in the past for a number of years and the kids gained more in social skills from school than they did from parents. You're fine.
>>
>>675751513
Great advice man.
Will take in close to heart.
>>
It's easy to become a father. It's difficult to be one.
Instead of marriage, find a woman you hate and give her your house and half your money.
>>
>>675747352
If it's the person I'm going to choose to be with then I'm going to be sure they have the traits and characteristics that are important to me.
I love my wife more than I thought I could and life with her is so easy and we don't even have to try
>>
>>675751679
>Too passive is a hell of a lot better than too aggressive of a woman.
Amen.
>kids gained more in social skills from school than they did from parents
Happened to me. Had a different childhood and my own pov.
Thanks for the input.
>>
>>675752171
That's a tough message man.
How's life now bro?
>>
>>675751968
One last thing before I turn in... never *settle*. Make sure you're madly crazy in love and laugh if you want to get married. If you're thinking, "Well, I can live with that," you won't be able to.
>>
Guys say to NEVER get married. And girls are like "I want to get married!!"...now ask yourself people. How many ladies do you see happy because of their marriage? None. So don't do it. It's a trap. They most likely marry guys to "fit in" and mouch off of them for money while they spend it all pretty much, then take most of their shit at divorce. It's all about money to them.
>>
>>675752472
Frustrating.
>>
>>675740118

with teh right woman, yes
>>
>>675752281
>I love my wife more than I thought I could and life with her is so easy and we don't even have to try
I think I can achieve the same relationship as you you bro, mine's easy as cake, she's great, but I have a big fucking splinter in the back of my mind, claiming I could have the same person with a little more IQ
>>
>>675753004
That splinter will become a wedge, and every dumb thing she does or says as your career evolves will hammer it into your head until you explode.
>>
>>675752714
Crude and true.
Thanks for your words mate. Will remember them.
>>
Don't get married unless you're SURE. Rise above guys, break the trend. Just fuck bitches unless you're POSITIVE.
>>
>>675752763
Fucking see that everyday.
Goddamn parade.
How old are you man? You living single?
>>
>>675752925
Fuck, is there a way out?
>>
>>675752943
How long you've been married anon?
What do you like about it?
>>
>>675753286
That hit deep man.
Really deep.
What was your experience?
>>
>>675753667
Positive? How are you sure of someone?
>>
>>675753799
Divorce of course. But one thing... the longer you wait to do it, the harder it is to do. Your lives become more and more entangled. It's been 30 years for me, slowly getting worse. The thing is, she's not evil. If she was, it would be easier in a way. But she's an anchor, and has become more f a drag. I've always been faithful, but man, we haven't had sex in a decade. ! Yeah. Chew on that.
>>
>>675754502
Thanks for sharing. Can't even imagine it man.
Guess you don't want to hurt her but the relationship takes a fucking toll on you.
Glad you are seeing though.
>>
>>675754299
Well If you look you will find. But all love is is a chemical reaction in the brain that has a high HIGH then hits a low LOW after a while. My point is people can become addicted to the feeling more than the person. And that ruins things. Gotta stay aware of the facts man. Rise above, break the marriage trend.
>>
>>675754299

If you can fuck bitches, then fuck bitches. It's a better alternative.
>>
>>675754914
Are you MGTOW or something like that?
>not judging, curious

If we stay in that interpretation, there's no love.
The question remains regarding if a lifetime companion is worth it.
>>
>>675755124
>If it floats, flies or fucks it's better to rent it than to buy it.
>>
>>675755353
No I'm not MGTWO or what the hell that crap is. If you're looking for a soulmate, then you can. I said "Well if you look then you will find" right?. But always consider the facts. It helps in the long run.
>>
>>675755527
That's actually my bumper sticker!
>>
>>675755841
Got it. Thanks for the input bro.
Got any personal story about it?
>>
>>675755925
hahahaha
where's that sticker man?
>>
>>675756118
Yeah my story is basically: "Most girls don't know what they want" think about that.
>>
>>675756263
Bro right on the back so everyone behind me sees it. It's black and the text is white so it sticks out lolol.
>>
>>675740118
only if its with a pure virgin waifu
>>
Don't get married. It's not worth it. If you can get sex without marriage don't get married.

Wife is a serial cheater and drug addict. Lives off my hard work. Have nothing to show for it either.

If I divorce her, I'll have less than nothing.

Life plan instead:

Work hard, save money. Buy toys and fuck whoever you like. When you are rich and older you can still fuck younger women.
>>
>>675756462
>"Most girls don't know what they want"
Fucking this.
Besides being the driver, protector, comedian and gigolo, you have to be a fucking mind reader.
>>
>>675756608
Fucking kek.
Hope the message is spread.
>>
>>675756715
2d ain't real you fucking weirdo.
>>
>>675740118
It's not worth it but that's a beautiful ring. I'd say yes.
>>
>>675756959
>When you are rich and older you can still fuck younger women.
Definitely, but how empty is that path compared to hollow relationships?
Any alternative?
>>
>>675757242
Tits or gtfo
>>
>>675756980
Yeah I like to observe and listen. And over they years I came to that general conclusion. Girls who don't know what they want are usually the assholes. So I like to stay alert and share my knowledge when I can. Id be a dick not to.
>>
>>675757505
But I'm a boy
>>
>>675740118
Not unless you get a prenup
>>
>>675757505
I'm a dude faggot
>>
>>675757115
Fuck yeah man lol. Spreading the good word. And it ISN'T from jesus hahaha.
>>
>>675757759
Agreed. Thanks for your words mate.
>>
>>675741492
>And I still have to pay her $1000 per month for the next 10 years
why?
>>
>>675758014
Because he got married lol
>>
>>675757906
I'm a tax lawyer, my fellow civil matter lawyers tell me prenups ain't worth shit, the judge can rule them out if he thinks she was induced into signing.
Fucking bullshit.
>>
>>675757960
Probably a titted neckbeard.
Please show them titties.
>>
>>675757972
hahahaha
fuck that fairytale bullshit
>>
>>675758014
he got a shitty lawyer
morale: pay up when in battle
>>
>>675758451
When you go on 4chan and realize that /b/ is dropping better wisdom then ya boy Jesus.
>>
>>675758997
it's not a high bar, kek
>>
It is really fun being married, have been married for 12 years now. Yes we do fight but that is like 2% and usually when it's her period. Having kids are awesome to.
>>
>>675761060
Sounds great, do tell mate.
>>
>>675740118
>more details
>better advice

Its about 50/50. If its right, then definitely. If its wrong, run.
>>
>>675761181
Well its all about give and take and if you see you are are giving more than you are taking you need to adjust, else you wil start resenting. Also you need to take time for yourself too, alone time is good.

But in the end you feel much happier an more fulfilled
>>
>>675761468
>25m
>2 year relationship
>have trained her into investing in our relationship
>driving/paying/etc
>NO drama at all
>really submissive
>kind of bothers me
>normal IQ
>pretty vanilla
>>
>>675740118

I will be married in a few months, my piece of advise is.....If she makes you become a better person, you both have dreams and plans together, she takes care of you and sticks around in your lowest moments....marry her!

I could say that you are too young to marry and wait a few years, but she may not want to wait. If she makes you happy then go ahead and work on the relationship.

Yeah things will get shitty sometimes, you will fight for stupid things, she will be bossy and she may be annoying at times. But if you love her and she loves back, then the aim becomes to make each other happy and build a life together.
>>
>>675762067
I do get this feeling.Investing emotionally makes me happier.
It's just that I feel there's something better out there. Just an ideal.
>>
>>675762545
That was really deep man.
She's been supporting me in the shittiest moments of my life.
I'm really a fucking mess. Somehow she seems to get past it.
Although she's not brilliant as I wanted, she has a great character.
>>
>>675762339
Is your life more because of her? By submissive do you mean that she doesn't correct you? Have you gone through trials in your life with her/does she give you motivation you don't find elsewhere? Have you discovered new passions because of hers? Her because of you? Do you enjoy the things about her that you know will never change? Do you both want kids? Does she challenge you? (Besides "training") Does that make you happy or sad?

If you can answer these questions without racking your brain you may not need more advice from me.
>>
Yes and no.

Yes:
+not forever alone
+sex (often but not always better than just busting one off)
+second income
+"back me on this."

No:
-not enough alone time
-women are womeny
-women spend money on dumb shit ("but if I don't get Starbucks/booze/shoes/debt, what am I going to do with my friends?")
-prepare to get in trouble for having an opinion/sense of humor/penis/education
>>
>>675763154
>Is your life more because of her?
She mended my heart when it was broken.
By submissive do you mean that she doesn't correct you?
I can convince her the sky is red.
Have you gone through trials in your life with her/does she give you motivation you don't find elsewhere?
She was really supportive in the lowest point ever. Almost no one knows such shit.
Have you discovered new passions because of hers?
Didn't discover more passions because of her, but she pushes me to explore my art (music).
Her because of you?
She does designs in the computer and I push her to start painting.
Do you enjoy the things about her that you know will never change?
Yes, and I want her to be more curious.
Do you both want kids?
Yes.
Does she challenge you? (Besides "training")
No.
Does that make you happy or sad?
Overall Happy.
>>
>>675763074
Dude who cares about smarts if she is good hearted, you're not marrying a retard right?

Maybe she is just much more emotionally intelligent than you are and that is why she keeps pulling you out of your mess. The way I see it is that she has what you don't and viceversa.

Asking for other's opinion on marriage is super subjective. Each one of us will have a different opinion according to the person they marry or were married to.
>>
This thread is still alive? This is femanon with a happy marriage again. What more do you need to hear to go one way or another? Which way do YOU want to go stop asking for advice and start listening to your motherfucking heart, man
>>
>>675763303
I expose my /b/tard jokes, she lurks here occasionally. No need to censor myself.
Truth is I have more money than her family, we have different lives, since she hasn't travelled at all. It's kind of cultural.
Plus I own my own business and her family has a mediocre wagecuck mentality.
>>
>>675763908
>Dude who cares about smarts if she is good hearted, you're not marrying a retard right?
>Maybe she is just much more emotionally intelligent than you are and that is why she keeps pulling you out of your mess. The way I see it is that she has what you don't and viceversa.
>Asking for other's opinion on marriage is super subjective. Each one of us will have a different opinion according to the person they marry or were married to.

I'm kind of drunk and both your comments made me shed a tear.
>>
>>675764438
aw real life character development
>>
>>675763980
My motherfucking heart says I should run and throw the dice again, I have great chances.

My mind says she's marriage material cause we're a good team, although I always have to fucking lead/invest more.
>>
>>675740118
ARE YOU WORTH IT?

IS THE POSSIBILITY OF A GOOD LIFE WORTH THE ULTIMATE REALITY OF HOW TERRIBLE THIS BITCH CAN BE?

You need to see from the point of view of what she sees when she marries you, and if that is at all who you are.

Do you really know her? Do you pay attention to who she is as a person as she reacts to daily mundane acts of life and are you gauging that morality to the same persona you are swearing fealty?

You are obligating your present and future self to the whelms of a figure,regardless of who she is, that society forgives all blemishes on basis of gender, in a situation that you are fully held responsible.


Because marriage is an outdated ideal if you are a contemporary, and is more akin to a business plan,

you have to be conscious of the contract
and the person you make it with.
>>
>>675764438
Good I could help!
>>
Live together first. If you can buy/rent together and put up with each others shit for a few years THEN get married. If you have to hide shit from her or she does from you it won't work out in the long term.
>>
>>675764781

I hate to say this, but I would want you to go if you were my bf

But it's hard for me to say because she otherwise seems great for you

>>675764970
good point
>>
>>675764770
keep on

>>675764807
Great wording, fluid and direct.
I experiment with her, give hear the leading roll in little unimportant shit to watch her response. She's terrified about pressure. If she's being watched she'll choose just to get the pressure off, Not because she reached a conclusion.
I'm scared she would techa that to my kids.
Maybe her mind'll grow at some point.
>>
>>675764970
This is common sense.

If you can live with someone, and it's awesome. Fuuuck.
>>
>>675765295
Thanks again for the input.
Analyzing love is mindblowing.

>>675764970
Agreed, that's the ultimate test.
Have t assess if I could risk it.
>>
>>675765386
From what you've given me,

You maintain the role of dominance,
but you cannot gauge her actions well enough
as a mother when it comes to the archetype,

Understand her unknown.

You will need to know more about who she is in the presence of the unexpected,

when nobody is watching....

I hope this helps.
>>
>>675766869
I get you, the unseen side.
The point of my experiments is to exert pressure, pressure that she will eventually meet in any situation, regardless of who's watching.

I can keep a blind eye, but don't know if it's worth it on first sight.
>>
>>675741809
A woman saying everything is wonderful. What a surprise.


Do NOT get married OP. Why? Because there will come a time when she decides that you've had enough sex, or she really isn't into it anymore. She has better things to think about now that her life is better than when she was single. Then you'll start to resent her and that will seep in for a few years of low quality, low quantity sex. One day, just before you drown her while she has her face down in the sink brushing her teeth - it'll occur to you why prostitutes exist. They exist for married men - not for socially inept 18 year olds. Prostitution is as old as marriage. They are both as old as bargaining itself, and bargaining by it's very nature leaves one person with the better half of a deal. Get married if you're OK banging whores after 15 years of failed marriage. You could always get divorced but then why get married?
>>
That's all men's fear.
How did it turn out for you?
>>
>>675770038
>>675769586
>>
>>675758014
She needs money to live, dumb bitch got no job
>>
>>675763780
I came back for you OP. Give it another two years. It will fail if you do it now. But I don't see you losing anything by putting more effort into it. How is her family?
>>
>>675770038
Still married. 17 years. No kids, we both have great well paying jobs, therefore lots of money, lots of toys, vacation time and lots of extra money.. Sex with the wife sucks though, we've tried everything but we basically gave up. I'm still too tuned up - ten years later - over the fact that she'd burn me like that when she acquired or realized that she had a bit of power. She's to dense to admit she'd ever done anything wrong. Admitting it would mean that she was part of the problem - a position that a married woman does not NEED to take, so long as she's still married. That's how marriage works. It's a power trip, but you don't realize it's all just a game to them until it's too late. It's just easier to find some regular chick to bang now. I wouldn't doubt if she does the same, I don't really care.

Jobs are irrelevant, but I suppose it's different if you have kids. Then the balance of power restores itself.
>>
>>675770546
Thanks for coming back, anon.
She's an only child.
Her dad (60) is a corporate pawn that spends most of his town out of the city.
He's really unhappy with his wife and my gf.
He's actually afraid of me cause I have more money.

Her mom is lonely so she's a fucking Jesus freak, the kind that takes bible classes and has bible DVD's.

Don't mean to be an asshole, but I pity them, not my gf. She's above these mediocre minded people.
>>
>>675771115
Have you known of any marriage that wasn't a fucking power trip?
My gf's pretty submissive. Do you think she'll develop claws after marriage?
>>
I've been married and (very amicably) divorced. Turns out that if you're physically separated from each other for years at a time, you grow apart - and then there were all the unresolved issues about why we got married in the first place.

Marriage can be great - but make sure you know what you want out of it, make sure your partner knows what they want, and be damn sure those two mostly overlap.
>>
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>>675758203
>ozfag family lawyer
Prenups or BFAs work well.
The crux of the issue is always that divorce experience depends on whether you instigated it or not. They almost always suck; the best description I ever heard was from a judge:
>marriage is like a car ride; sometimes you are the driver, sometimes the passenger. Ultimately how you get to your destination is irrelevant but you have to share the journey.
Kids are worth it though.
>>
No anon I've watched my parents go through hell for 15+ years, sadly I got engaged and can't back out now because I'm too far in, it's a trap man,
>>
>>675771465
>Have you known of any marriage that wasn't a fucking power trip?
That's exactly my point. The leverage of being the only legal pussy you can fuck carries weight.
>My gf's pretty submissive. Do you think she'll develop claws after marriage?
That's what I would warn you of. My wife wasn't like this when we were dating, she was very cooperative. Then came the time when marriage wasn't equal to the fantasy that she had imagined, and leverage is used, and you can be sure what that particular leverage was.

My advice: Don't marry anyone who doesn't admit to being "wrong" - and do NOT make the mistake of measuring that against her behavior with YOU. Take that measurement from others that she interacts with, particularly those that she has some minor power struggles with. Do those relationships always end up in danger or one-sided? Because, it's marriage, one day that power struggle will happen and things won't be much different for you.
>>
>>675740118
No. Not at all don't buy into societal traps
>>
>>675740118
Never worth it.
All females are hoes my nigga
>>
>>675772489
>Don't marry anyone who doesn't admit to being "wrong"
Literally all women do this. They are ALL crazy.
>>
>>675771221
You have a full plate OP. I do not envy you.

Things that are going to help/ become necessary:
-distancing yourselves emotionally AND physically from her family
-preparing her for the day they begin to utterly fall apart
-NEVER BORROWING ANYTHING IN EITHER DIRECTION

If you love this girl, it is going to be up to you to prevent the scars of that family pruning up. If you aren't up for that work you'd better just agree to be friends now.

Protip: don't trash talk them after they die
>>
>>675773114
I'll be honest, sometimes I think I'm her escape from her home.

Great advice anon.
>>
>>675772786
it's just their way of arguing. i truely don't know any woman who doesn't get dirty like that when they get really pissed.
>>
>>675772611
>>675772727
I get it's a social dynamic.
Want to avoid it, yet I do want kids at some point.
>>
>>675772786
It's the power struggle of all relationships. The longer the relationship, the stronger the feeling that you will continue to be together. If there's any resentment that's when the unhealthy leverage kicks in.

How many men have you heard of that were perfectly unmarried to the same woman for 10 years - then he gets married because she swears that nothing will change. The woman immediately changes and they divorced a year later. This is because the woman suddenly realized that she had some leverage - and used it like a chainsaw with absolutely no fucking idea how it's supposed to work.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=74-WSM0xTyE
>>
>>675772452
It's still losing less money than married.
Why do you say it's a trap?
>>
>>675772306
Nice analogy. I've heard prenups are worth shit by fellow lawyers.
Anyway, I'm more preoccupied by the emotional side of marriage.
>>
>>675771908
Good advice, thing is I've no idea of what to expect. We're cool as a couple and have no fights, but marriage seems like giving steroids to the relationship and hoping it stay nice and smooth.
>>
>>675773613
Thank you. My forever a child is sleeping upstairs. We decided not to have kids, but I won't tell you your business. On the upside dogs are practically kids and you can hit them in public when they misbehave. Their toys are cheaper and potty training is a snap. Food for thought.
>>
>>675774456
kek, kids in 10 years if I feel so.
idk what you meant with
>My forever a child is sleeping upstairs.
>>
>>675774620
My wife who is the same type of girl yours is.
>>
>>675774974
hahahaha
I know, right?

>though that you had a miscarriage or something like that, and it went to heaven. sorry
>>
>>675740118
In my case, definitely.

Great friends,
lots of sex,
both have our own interests but share many,
money pooled, no "mine" and "yours" bullshit
Look after and care for each other.
Both have good and interesting careers

No fucking kid though. Neither wanted, and I think that's what helped with the rest
>>
>>675740118
will your marriage worth it?
>>
>>675775177
Oh shit. That is what it sounds like, kek. Any other middle of the night curiosities /b/ro?
>>
>>675775376
Guess the no kid is a good idea.
I know this question gets thrown a lot your way...but you're never gonna have kids?
>>
>>675775508
Idk, she's pretty chill and submissive.
Don't know if she'll develop claws after marriage.
I hate her family's mentality, I want to help her grow away from them.
But is "saving" someone a relationship?
>>
24yr old femanon married for two years he says we're soulmates but wont fuck me anymore i say i know its cuz im fat n ugly he wont admit it, uhhh
>>
>>675775520
>Any other middle of the night curiosities /b/ro?
Every possible question.
Thanks for hanging around, anon.
>>
>>675775780
>every relationship doesn't save you from a shit life

Is it?
>>
>>675775645
Not now. We're both too old

I checked periodically as, let's face it most of the early childcare sits with the woman and I'm not particularly parental, but she was not interested either.

it was something we discussed very early in our relationship.

In my opinion nothing will kill a marriage and relationship faster than one wanting kids and the other not - no-one would be happy, no matter what the final joint decision is. Better to separate and find partners that want the same, no matter how good the rest of the relationship - kids are too fundamental.

Also, you need to be able to resist peer pressure and parents wanting grand children. Fuck 'em, it was our life.
>>
>>675775858
Then stop being fat.
>>
>>675775858
Then put some work on it.
I get the honeymoon phase is over, both have to invest to keep the relationship alive.
Surprise him with a new kink/his fetish.
>>
I'm engaged to a foreign girl and if I want to be with her the only option is to get married. I think it's fucking retarded that you have to get married to be with someone due to visa laws, it pushes so many people to make big mistakes.

But we get on really well and things are great, so lets hope it doesn't turn to shit. Though at least I'm in a country that has equally shared child custody by default and so on.
>>
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>>675775858
>>
>>675776088
Literally the real reason for prenups.
>>
>>675775984
It can man, but relationships should be a team, no one's perfect but it shouldn't be about dragging the other.
>>
>>675748596
Because women aren't leaders & never can be. Keep the lead, you're lucky you have it.
>>
>>675776043
Solid advice.
Please tell me more about kidless future.
>>
>>675776052
kek
>>
>>675776295
Never said it was a one sided save. And if you consider saving "dragging"... relationships may not br your bag.
>>
>>675776088
Marriage is the one thing you can't afford a mistake.
>>
>>675741809
fuck off. im a femanon w an agreement to my man that we will never get married because we have too much to lose. the auto shop? thats his. the bar? thats mine. the dog? thats his. the cat? thats mine. the house? that's his. the condo? thats mine. the jag is his, mazda is mine, ad infinitum.

its been 7 years. we are happy as can be. but when my alcoholism is no longer cute and his rage is no longer tolerable, we will both need an out that doesnt require a lawyer. seperate bank accounts, separate everything except for the bed and the fridge, would not have it any other way. i don't see that shit happening, and we have worked hard to stay together, but why make it worse if it dies out?
>>
>>675776382
>Keep the lead, you're lucky you have it.
Definitely.
Would only marry if I have the lead.

On another note, she'll lead my children, since I would be working or so. So she should be the smartest tool in the shed.
>>
>>675776471
Agreed.
She was there in my darkest time. I've been supportive, but I'm afraid her family's mediocrity carry on in her mind.
>>
>>675776418
What do you want to know?

The reckon each kid is as expensive as buying and running a Ferrari. We have a nice house in a rural setting, two cars, no debts and just over £1.3m in joint savings, pensions, etc., so we should have a good retirement together.

"But who will look after you when you get old?" I hear. I reply - what guarantee is there that:
1. Your kids will actually like you (I can't stand my mother - vindictive bitch)
2. They won't fuck off to pursue a career the other side of the world
so that's not a reason; it's an illusory security blanket for the parents
>>
>>675750308
Then be the father you want to be! Teach your kids the lines you want them to cross/ never cross.
>>675751679
Kids learning social skills from school is ok, in moderation. I lived the single mother childhood so my skills came mostly from school. You really don't want your kids only guidance to be from their "friends" at school & a faculty that really only cares about the money they bring in not the child themselves. Be a good father for their sake. Don't be lazy.
>>
>>675776574
You'd think they'd consider this when making their visa laws.
>>
>>675776680
Damn. Dat DINK life, tho.
>>
>>675776680
In some countries cohabiting for 5 years (or having a kid) creates several legal bindings identical as marriage.
Ask around.
>>
>>675777007
which is why we have two homes, separate bills, separate businesses. although most time is spent at his house, i do spend a lot of time at the condo when i have to close late, when he's out of the country, etc.

also, no goddamn kids. its for the good of the gene pool.
>>
>>675776689
See
>>675776873
Don't let your wife raise a kid alone except for the physical needs "food, cleaning, yada yada" unless she comes from a two parent household herself (with a good father) she'll fuck it up.
>>
>>675776838
Yeah, kids aren't a retirement plan.

I wanted to know about the feeling that you don't have a little human to guide.
>Not provoking, genuinely curious.
>>
>>675777212
Well played then.
What's with the gene pool comment?
>>
>>675740118
for financial reasons, yes.
for nuclear family stability, yes.
for love, maybe.
for the self-restraint and self-control, sure.

don't do it for the silly reasons. like thinking it'll save your relationship, make it better, etc.
>>
>>675776836
Don't assume. She deserves more than that.
>>
>>675777296
Will take the advice closely. Her father ain't the best on any area.
>>
>>675777463
Yeah man, I'll try my best.
>>
>>675777369
while we have gotten our shit together quite nicely in the past few years, this wasnt always so.

we are both incredibly intelligent, talented people, but both with long histories of addiction and mental health issues. we have also had legal problems in the past. this was all separately, we met when we were cleaning our lives up, but before that? not good at all. why push that off onto someone else? both of us had shitty childhoods and even worse lineage. i wouldn't want to roll the dice.
>>
>>675777301
There will be plenty of other people's kids to continually make you glad you don't have your own. And on decent occasion they will trust you more than their frazzled parents and ask you for advice. Foster care is lucrative.

No strings both situations. Not anon you replied to.
>>
>>675777301
Why would I want a little human to guide? If I want to train something I can get a dog.

I don't regard my purpose on this planet (if there is one - whole other conversation) to bring more people into the world.

I look around me in restaurants, shops etc and I see kids running riot while parents show no interest and stare into their phones or chat to friends, completely unaware how much the rest of the world does not appreciate their kids antics. Child-rearing is hard work and requires time effort, sacrifice and dedication - otherwise you get delinquents. So many parents seem to think kids are a lifestyle accessory
>car
check
>house
check
>good jobs
check
>holidays abroad
check
>kids
check - but why the fuck do they keep making all this noise, demanding attention and disrupting my ideal lifestyle? Why don't the schools teach my children how to behave and respect my need for space and another martini?

>not provoked - happy to share thoughts
>>
>>675778073
I like you. If I'm not dead when your alcoholism is no longer cute, we should grab a drink.
>>
>>675741492

What a fucking cunt

Alimony is antiquated bullshit and should be abolished in today's day and age.
>>
grils are annoying
>/v/irgin,
but amirite
>>
>>675778073
Great insight man.
I also have some of those ideas in me, but can't decide yet...still have some time though.
>>
>>675741809

Delusional bitch, you've been married ONE YEAR and you're still in your early 20s.

Fuck off, you have zero experience or credibility
>>
>>675778242
not the anon you were looking for but same feels.

ill be the girl with the 4chan logo tattooed on her collarbone. can't miss it.
>>
>>675778242
>when your alcoholism is no longer cute
That's a little snippy. If you don't agree with me and my choices then that's fine, but why a strawman you can then be snide about? Does it somehow make you feel better about yourself and your choices?
>>
>>675777734
Nice to talk to someone who's also had and survived an addiction problem.
Wave goodbye to the past, you've got your whole life to lead.
>>
>>675777846
Yeah, you could be the cool uncle with a lost child...
>>
>>675778359
Not all mate.
>>
>>675778561
nah, didn't mean to be snippy. just being honest. theres always a point where the party is no longer a party and its just pathetic. i still choose to do it, just not lying to myself about it.
>>
>>675778398
Well good luck to you. If you do decide on children then please ,make sure that raising great kids into good people is then your life's work. But don't neglect your partnership in doing so (a difficult act to juggle) - how many marriages or relationships fall apart when the kids leave home because that's all the adults had in common?
>>
>>675778561
You pulled way more out of that then I put into it. If you're this anon
>>675776680
Then I'm using your own words. If not, whoops. I still think you're swell, you might need some sleep though.
>>
>>675778774
>>675778561
shit thought you were talking to me, anon was referencing something i said about myself earlier
>>
>>675778774
Don't judge everyone by your own standards. I enjoy alcohol, but I drink it - it doesn't drink me.
>>
>>675778916
no that wasn't femanon.
>>
>>675778929
There are times in threads like these when IDs were a good idea

fuck tags, though - PenGuInoFd00m
>>
>>675740118
Fap to her. If you still have strong feelings for this woman afterwards, put a ring on it
>>
>>675778916
but glad you think im swell. i don't need sleep but i do want to get an hour or so in doing some bullshit on garrys mod.

night /b/
>>
>>675779041
My bad, mis IDing all uppin dis bitch.
>>
>>675778845
Will do bro.
Thanks for your words.
>>
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>>675778692
>>
>>675779259
She's a lot more than sex to me.
Did kek'd at your post.
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