Story time /b/, I started posting this earlier, but the thread 404'd. This is about the relationship that fucked me up for good
>be me, 16 y/o >played xbox live a lot as a teenager and developed a decent network of friends >one day when I'm playing with one of my buddies, some girl joins the party >turns out it's his sister >now being the 16 y/o that I was, I crack a few jokes about how girls can't play games, tell her to make me a sandwich, etc. all in good fun >she gets annoyed and ends up leaving, me and my buddy are cracking up >fast forward like two years, about to graduate from high school >turns out she's a pretty decent gamer, fun to joke around with and decently attractive as well >eventually one night we're all playing together, and buddy says he's got to get off because he has work, leaving us two in the party >we play for a bit, talk a bit, and then shit starts to get flirty >asking each other questions that get more and more sexual as the night goes on >after a few hours stuff is starting to get pretty intense, i'm sporting a raging boner >"mmm all this talking is starting to make me... a little 'hot n bothered' if you know what I mean..." she says >fuckyeah.jpg >proceed to have "phone sex" over xbox live until we both cum as she's moaning my name over the mic >we talk for a little more and then decide it's getting pretty late and decide to hit the sack >last thing she says is, "that was pretty fun, maybe we'll have to do it again some time" >get the best sleep ever that night
>>675722099 >from this point on I'll refer to her as Megan >after this night, Megan and I start talking all the time, and not just on xbox live >we text constantly throughout the day, and spend an hour on the phone every night, with phone sex becoming a regular thing >eventually we decide to start "dating" >I had been in relationships before, but none like this, I was so happy >we would always tell each other about how glad we were to have finally found someone we truly "loved" >now remember, I was just about to graduate high school and was in the process of applying for college >she lived in south texas and one of the schools I was applying to was UT because of it's great CS program (ending up transferring to another major anyway) >Megan was also graduating and would be going to another school in Texas >this meant we might actually get to have a real relationship, not just online >we would talk all about how great it was gonna be when we were finally able to really be together >I still remember the day I told her I was accepted and would be moving down there, she started crying out of happiness >it seemed like everything was going perfectly, a magical future awaited us both >but, as I'm sure most anons know, things rarely turn out as perfectly as imagined...
>>675722504 >over the course of the months following that first night, I started to notice a bit of a change in our relationship >she was becoming more and more distant >the time it took her to respond to texts become longer and longer, sometimes hours at a time >our nightly phone conversations experienced a similar decrease in frequency and length, along with the phone sex >I started to get worried >why was she taking so long to respond? >was it something I did? >no.... that couldn't be it, nothing had changed that I could see, and the time we did talk was still great, she still told me she loved me all the time and about how excited she was for me to move >but then, over time, even that started to decrease >less "I love you's", less excitement >I didn't know what was going on but I was afraid to lose her >foolishly I thought if I showed more enthusiasm, she would do the same as well >little did I know this is rarely effective and can even be detrimental >our relationship was on a downhill path and there was nothing I could do to figure out why >and it started to eat away at me, little by little
>>675722779 >the reality of my fears came crashing down on our 3 month "anniversary" >I had to get up early that day to catch a flight to visit my dad (parents were divorced), so right before I left I sent her a long text wishing her a happy anniversary and the usual love filled comments about how soon it would be before we would be together >as I got off the plane, I remember turning my phone off airplane mode and closing my eyes just praying there would be a text, some sign of reciprocation of my feelings >instead I saw a voicemail >Megan never left voicemails >still remember the exact quote, "hey.. anon..." >long dramatic pause >"I can't do this anymore.. It's just not working... I'm sorry" >and that was it >no explanation, no attempt at consolation, nothing >just a simple statement of fact, "it's over" >I walked through the terminal of the airport somewhere between shock and utter grief, trying my damndest to hold back the tears >I thought it was the end of our "perfect" relationship... if only that had actually been true
>>675722839 >needless to say, I was devastated >everything I had tried so hard to keep was gone >for about 3 weeks I just moped around, feeling totally at loss >but eventually I started to get over it >after all, college was just around the corner and a new bright future awaited me >By mid august, I had registered for my classes and was ready to start my adult life and move out on my own >but then, about a week before I moved down there, Megan texted me >”hey anon… I’m sorry about the ways things turned out. If you can, let me know when you move down here… Maybe we can try again” >I should have told her to fuck off right then and there >Instead, a week passes and I move down there >settle into my dorm, got a cool nerdy roommate on a pre-med track, looking like it’s gonna be a good semester >foolishly I decide to text Megan, “Just moved in to my dorm” >we proceed to chat nonchalantly about our different schools and how it’s going to be different living away from home >no mention about getting back together from either of us >eventually she mentions, “yeah I’m excited, I’m just a little worried about how I’m gonna fit in, I don’t know anybody here and think I might be kinda lonely at first” >my idiot brain tells me “this is my chance” >”Uh, well maybe I could I could come over the weekend, ya know, just to hang and see the campus” >Nice going dipshit
>>675722891 >"oh... well if you're sure, I'd love if you came over for the weekend :)" >literally insta-boner >two days later I'm packing up all my shit and about to head to the Greyhound station with 2 nights in a hotel booked near her college (didn't have a car freshman year and her dorm was girls only, guys not allowed to spend the night) >it was about a 5 hour bus ride, and I could barely sit still from pure excitement >this was finally it! I was finally gonna be able to see her in person! No more talking over phones, no more webcam chats, this was for real >5 hours later I step off the bus, and she's there, leaning against her car with the most beautiful smile I've ever seen >we rush towards each other and give a huge hug >the feeling of giving somebody a hug who you have a deep relationship but have never physically touched before is beyond words >the warmth of her body, her arms around me, it was like a fucking orgasm >we stop for some fast food and then head back to her dorm >while riding the elevator up to her dorm, I get the brilliant idea that we should call her brother (my buddy) >I call him from her phone, and he picks up, "what do you want, home sick already? jeez it's been like a week" >I reply, "sup bro?" >"HOLY SHIT ANON IS THAT YOU??!! WHAT THE FUCK?" >lulz were had >later on I'm up her in dorm and we're just sitting on her bed, joking about her brother and just generally enjoying good conversation >eventually the conversation dies away and we're just looking in each other's eyes >we kiss, smile at each other, and kiss some more >after a bit we're full on making out, and then she pulls back a bit >"let's go to the hotel anon"
>>675722955 >2 >spend all weekend having fucking amazing sex, the first time for me >couldn't be happier, it's literally exactly like I had dreamed so many months ago >after the weekend's over, we finally talk about whether we should get back together >she's all for it, and of course I am too >I feel sad as I get on the bus back to Austin but happiest I've ever been at the same time >over the next month things go back to how they were in the beginning >texting all the time, calling each other daily, no phone sex since we both had roommates but our texts tried to make up for that >all in all, shit was just going fucking great
>>675723023 >then something happened >after about a month of getting back together, I get a call from her brother, also one of my best friends >he's telling me about how some girl he used to date broke up with him and was spreading lies about him all around school (he was a year younger and still in high school) >he was practically in tears, started saying some crazy shit about how maybe it would be better if he just offed himself >but then said nah, he could never go through with it... "maybe I'll just call 9/11 and go death by cop" >throughout all of this I'm telling him it's gonna be okay, pleading him not to do it and that I'll come and visit him soon, not to worry >"look bro, I'm here for you, okay? Don't do this shit. Don't let some bitch ruin this for you" >finally he agrees I'm right and we end on a good note >everything seems like it's going to be okay
>>675723106 >then I got the phone call >Megan calls me sobbing >she keeps trying to get the words out but every time fails in a mixture of agonizing screams and hyperventilation >"it's... it's... about... my brother" >to this day, I have never had such a sinking feeling in my chest >it was disgusting, revolting, complete and utter horror at the prospect of what was going to come next >I felt as thought I could never take another breath but at the same time wanted to vomit out my entire digestive tract >"he's...he's.... DEAD" followed by a burst of sobbing >for a second I was speechless, literally incapable of making my vocal cords work >eventually, I managed to spit out, "jesus... oh my god... no .... Megan I am so sorry. I am so fucking sorry" >she cried into the phone for another 10 seconds and then just hung up, and I didn't hear from her again for the rest of the day despite my texts and calls >that was the single worst day of my entire life
>>675723228 >the following is information I gathered over the course of the next few weeks >turns out his dad come home from work and was wondering where his son was >he wasn't in his room, anywhere else in the house, or at the grandparent's house next door (she lived on a ranch with her brother and parents, along with the mother's parents in a house on the same plot of land) >his dad walked around the property and eventually found him >lying on the ground, .38 revolver next to him, flip phone still open and lying next to him >bullet wound through the skull a few inches behind the temple
>>675723302 >Megan's aunt drives up to pick her up the next day and takes her back to her house >the whole time I'm in fucking shambles, in grief for the loss of my friend, and incredibly worried about Megan >I hardly hear from her at all over the next few days >I try my best not to send her too many texts or call her but it's difficult >end up simply asking her when the funeral is and that I want to come down and pay my respects >she agrees and says I can stay at her house >however, she makes sure to make sure clear one important fact, a fact that will ultimately destroy our relationship years down the road >her parents don't know who I am, that I went to see her, or that we're dating >all they know is that I was her brother's friend on xbox live
>>675723364 >hop on another Greyhound and get there around 11PM >Megan's sitting there waiting for me with a bunch of her brother's friends >we silently hug and then file into one of the friends' car and drive 40 minutes back to her house >upon arrival we walk into the house and her mom is sitting there, quietly crying into her hands, dad's nowhere to be seen >she looks up, sees we're there, and immediately gets up and hugs me without saying a word >"you only knew him over the internet... and you came all this way just for him... you don't know how much that means to me" >the next day we attend the funeral >sadasfuck.png >Megan and her mother both had to excuse themselves for a few minutes to cry their eyes out in the back >stay the rest of the weekend, try to console her as best as I can, and then hop back on the bus to Austin >over the course of the next week I give my best effort to see how Megan's doing, but don't hear much from her >about a week and a half after the funeral, she breaks up with me >so now it's pretty clear right? this relationships is a failure. too much shit has happened, it's time to finally move on, right? >wrong
>>675723428 >for the next month and a half, I'm in the worst state I've ever been >this made the previous breakup look like a fucking cakewalk >not only did one of my best friend's blow his brains out but my perfectly relationship that had so much potential is gone >I sink into a crippling depression >I'm up till 4-5 AM every day because I can't sleep >every time I close my eyes I hear her voice sobbing about her dead brother >all the while, I've never told anybody about the last conversation I had with him >find out that his parents honest to god believe it was an accident, trying to tell anyone and everyone that's what it was and he was so excited for the future and would never do this >inside I know I have the inconsequential proof that they're wrong, that it was suicide without a doubt
>>675723893 >but I keep it bottled inside >not really sure why, maybe to spare their feelings, maybe because I felt like I would be blamed for not telling someone >and there's even a small part of me that questions, "are they right? could I have stopped this?" >not fun questions to ask yourself in the pits of total despair >pretty much stop going to class unless it's necessary, just wallow in my bed >because I'm up so late I'm constantly tired, never hungry even though I should eat, and unable to derive enjoyment from anything >I remember patiently waiting in the mornings until my roommate left for class so I could sob into my desk and slam my fist against the wall over and over >slowly these horrible feelings being to manifest into dark thoughts >any point of continuing life is slowly evaporating and there's nothing I can do to stop it >over time my thoughts become less and less abstract, more and more vivid >how would I do it? >what about my family? >I used to aimlessly walk around the city for hours and hours contemplating what lied in store for me >I eventually made the decision that I would go and see my family one last time over winter break, just to finalize things the way I wanted >had I not made that decision, I doubt I would be here today to write this story
>>675724093 >go back home for winter break >being away from all my old friends and family for so long really made me realize how much my suicidal notions were being fueled by loneliness >I simply didn't have the option to just wallow in my room all day because my life was suddenly full of plans >at first it sucked, but as time went on I began to exclude Megan and her brother from my mind more and more >now I want to make clear I was a long way from being content, but the mental downtime was enough to make life tolerable >I wasn't suicidal anymore, just depressed, and it seemed to be waning >and of course, right on cue, who sends me a text? >fucking Megan >she asks how I'm doing, I do the same, and the usual nonchalant chat >no offer to get back together this time though, simply a greeting >she seems to be doing a lot better, albeit still sad, and this boosts my spirit immensely >we chat on and off through the break, but there's never any indication we should get back together or anything of that sort >even end up almost fucking another girl but her mom decided to randomly wake up at 1 AM and spoil our fun >honestly, things seem to be on the rise >go back to school for the second semester with a totally new outlook >making more friends, going to classes regularly, even asked a few girls for their numbers >Megan and I are still chatting on and off but we're both pretty careful about avoiding the subject of our relationship >the semester goes by in a flash >shit's going really well, I have a dope ass job doing web development lined up for the summer and loving the CS program so far >even Megan's doing a lot better, seems to be more light hearted during conversations and is able to talk about her brother without breaking down crying within 10 seconds >right as the semester is about to finish with a good summer in store, she asks if I’d like to come hang out at her parents’ ranch for the weekend
>>675725352 >what could go wrong, amirite? >I head down there and things seem to be much better >her mom is in better spirits and I actually get a chance to talk to her dad >the night before I leave, Megan and her mom start arguing about some bullshit in the kitchen >I’m sitting in the living room watching the second Transformers movie trying to ignore their bickering but feeling increasingly awkward so I decide to step outside and walk around the ranch for a bit >after about 20 minutes Megan comes out, “I was wondering where you went” >I reply, “yeah sorry I felt kinda weird about overhearing you guys so I decided to take a walk” >She smirks and says, “Eh, mothers and daughters fight sometimes, it happens, but we’re good now” >we stand there for a bit in silence, looking up at the stars, and then she says, “anon… what if we-…. I dunno…” >”what?” >”well, what if we gave it another go? for good this time” >I pondered it for a sec >I should have said no. I really should have fucking said no >”for good this time? You promise?” >”Yes. On one condition. I want you to ask my parents if it’s okay” >so I went in and asked her mom if she would be okay if we dated >As I asked her, I distinctly remember that she was facing toward the counter cutting up some onions >”that would be fine with me”, her tone seemed pleasant enough but she continued to look at the counter >if only I was wise enough to decipher the magnitude behind this seemingly insignificant fact >turned out it made all the difference in the world
>>675725842 >so it was official, Megan and I were back together again, “for good” >that summer was a fucking blast >I was working 50-60 hours a week but I was loving my job and making a shit ton of money to boot >by this time I had a car and was making trips every weekend to go see Megan who had moved in with a friend near her college >sex all weekend every weekend, while making a fuckton of money during the week working on a multi-billion dollar web project >after a very successful summer, I went back to school for my second year >things were going absolutely great >I continued to make trips to see her every weekend and we had a great time, playing video games, drinking, smoking weed, and fucking like bunnies >we used to get high as fuck with her roommate in the garage and just surf threads on /b/ >there was one problem though >even though her parents knew we were together, they didn’t like the idea of us spending weekends together (because of the obvious implication of sex) >as a result, Megan neglected to tell them that I was coming over on a weekly basis >I knew this wasn’t the best situation, but I didn’t care >they were HER parents, not mine, we were both legal adults, and frankly, I could have given two shits >I was having weekly sex with a girl I loved who played video games, surfed /b/, and preferred to spend the night getting high playing Mario Kart over going to some shitty college party >literal perfection
>>675726282 >this continues for the rest of my sophomore year >the end of the year rolls around and I’m about to go back to the previous job I had before >but one day her mom calls me out of the blue >starts telling me how Megan failed all of her classes and that apparently she hasn’t been going to class for the last 2 months >in this time frame I actually DROVE her to class one of those days >I immediately drive over there to find out what the hell is going on >she’s at work (at a video game store, like are you fucking kidding me), and when I get there I can’t find her because according to her coworker, she’s in the backroom “sorting stuff” >I go to the backroom door and knock several times and then I just get this text, “just go to my place, I’ll be there later” >so I drive to her place and chill for a bit until she gets home >she opens up the door to her room while I’m sitting there watching Breaking Bad and just bursts into tears >says she’s horribly depressed and that’s why she hasn’t gone to any classes and how every night driving home from work she has fantasies of just driving off the road into a guard rail at 70mph >don’t even know how to respond, just try to comfort her >so much for the “perfect” relationship
>>675726829 >summer goes by like nothing >I continue to go and see her and everything seems like it’s normal, usual activities resume, but I know deep down it’s fucked up, something’s coming >in the beginning of August she calls me and has a long talk about how she went home and saw a psychiatrist and that she’s been put on anti-depressants and will be moving back in with her parents >of course, I do nothing but support her, tell her I’ll always be there for her, the usual stuff >and thus begins the decay
>>675727221 >I continue to see Megan every weekend but the dynamic has changed considerably >Now she’s always at her parents’ house, and they seem to very strict about any intimate contact >I always have to sleep on the couch, noticing that her mom seems to get up frequently making sure I’m still there, as if I’m always under suspicion >On top of that, she works most of the time I’m there anyway so I’m usually stuck awkwardly waiting at her house >her dad doesn’t’ seem to care as much as the mom, but that could also be because he’s usually drunk every night I’m there (not that I’m complaining considering he was always offering me beer) >and there’s something about the rest of the family too >I constantly get the strange vibe that I’m not welcome there, like I’ve done something horribly wrong, but I don’t know what it is
>>675727480 >this goes on for several months >and then one night, shit hits the fan >Megan, her dad, and I are all out drinking by the fire >eventually, everybody’s pretty wasted and we decide to call it quits >once we’re inside, I lay down on the couch and close my eyes to prep for sleep >almost asleep and then Megan and her dad start arguing >her dad starts saying stuff about how he knows I went over to see her without them knowing and he calls her a “fucking whore” >she screams back “Yeah? Why don’t you beat me like you beat your wife?!” >holyfuck.wma >I hear the sound of two solid punches land, and Megan screams >still lie there like a pussy pretending to sleep because I don’t know what to do and I’m afraid if I get up her dad will fight me (he used to be in the army and weighs 250lbs) >mom comes out and starts yelling at the dad that he’s going to wake me up >pissed off dad stumbles into his room and passes out, mom follows suit shortly >I get up off the couch and try to console Megan who is crying in her room >”This is fucked up, this is ABSOLUTELY NOT OKAY, you need to get out of here” >Megan turns towards me and viciously says, “why didn’t you try to stop him??!!” >don’t even know what to say >eventually drunkenness overcomes us and we pass out >the next day I say goodbye to her parents (who think I was asleep the entire time) and go home
>>675728060 I'm not arguing against you claim, but what was I supposed to do? Stand up against him? He would turned me into fucking pulp, it's a logical fact. I didn't want to have permanent scars from this shit
>>675727574 >barely sleep for the next week, the event of her dad hitting her playing over and over in my head just like when her brother off’d himself >go home for winter break again, my parents know nothing >the day after Christmas, Megan tells me she can’t stand being with her parents anymore and asks to move in >without thinking, I say yes
>>675728507 >later that night as I’m about to go to bed, I get a call from her mom’s cell phone >I answer and it’s her dad, I can hear Megan crying the background >”So I hear from Megan that she’s gonna come live with you.” >I begin to reply but then he says, “Nah don’t give me any of that bullshit. You’ve been going over to see her every weekend, haven’t you? Yeah you have. You think you’re a man? You’re not a man, you’re a spineless piece of shit. So please, come pick her up. But don’t you dare take on step on my property because if you do I will fucking shoot you dead. And even if you aren’t, I still might” >I’m practically shitting myself at this point, but try to respond, and he cuts me off once again, “And you better take damn good care of her, because if I EVER find out that you did her wrong in ANY way, I swear to god it will be the end of you. I know more than a few people in Austin who would do some time in prison for me.” >he then insists that I go wake up my parents so he can tell them “what a little shit I am” and after I refuse, he hangs up >literally quivering in my bed all night
>>675728403 Mostly I see similarities between us and felt the need to comment, because I've made similar mistakes in relationships. If you think he would have beat the shit out of you, he probably would have. I don't discriminate for understanding your body type and ability. As a damaged person, I just happen to know I can't form relationships with other damaged people. I tried for years, seeing as the majority of my social interactions happened to be with people like me, but there's no stability. Relationships are intended to be composed of complimenting people, who can pick up the slack the other one misses. That said, I've still only ever had one 'good' relationship. So I don't really know what the fuck I'm talking about.
>>675728575 >next day, Megan finally texts me back, “hey so I’m sorry about what happened last night” >sorry??? Oh, you’re FUCKING SORRY? >proceed to argue with her over the next few hours about how this is totally fucked up and there’s no way in hell I’m endangering my own life to pick her up >she gets super pissy with me and says she was counting on me and now I’ve let her down >notthistime.wav >tell her it’s over, I’m not picking her up >she says, “FINE, DON’T BOTHER CONTACTING ME AGAIN” >2 days later I get a message, “anon , we have to talk” >I’m about to go full rage mode when she says, “I think I’m pregnant” >another sinking feelings hits me only slightly better than when we she told me her brother was dead >out of all the situations to get a girl pregnant, this has gotta be one of the worst >she tells me about how her period is a week late and that she’s been getting cramps and feeling all moody >”but I thought you were on birth control, wtf???” >”Yeah, but I forgot to take it for a few days” >forgot to take it for a few days >are you FUCKING kidding me >says she’ll buy a pregnancy test tomorrow and let me know >literally shit bricks (no I’m serious, I had massive diarrhea), for the next two days >finally she sends the texts, “Well, happy ‘Your Not A Father’s Day’” >I had never been so relieved in my entire life
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