Lol I can't believe you actually heard us. Last night was a close one but totally worth the risk, your face was fucking priceless!! We're gonna be a little more careful tonight, I doubt you'll even hear us.
Not op but for me they usually are voices of people I know, trying to kill me and drive me crazy.
Sometimes I can hear them in m head like you hear your own voice but they can be other people too, like on the bus. You can hear people talking of you but with things they can impossibly know. Can be quite scary
>18 >Male >Paranoid thoughts, memory issues, visual hallucinations, delusional thoughts >had 3 surgeries before I was 3 years old, car crash at age 7, diagnosed with lifelong disease at age 14 >looked it up but I'm not obsessed with any girls, there's one I like a lot but she doesnt like me and thats fine >you said symptoms twice >I socially isolate quite a bit
>>675708340 For me the buffer between sanity and insanity is getting smaller and smaller, I got psychosis first when I was awake for 10 days on amphetamines. Then it came back after being awake 4 days, and nowadays I start to hear and/or see things even after I didn't sleep for a single night. Then I start to believe people are following me and shit. I can't take many drugs anymore because of that, and really shouldnt. But they are so much fun..
>>675707857 27 Male Severe paranoia to the point that I run away from imaginary people for hours and even days without sleep, hiding in dangerous places. Can hear people and have no Idea anymore if most things I experience are even real or not. Episodes come and go >Dunno, lived in fosterhomes and a year in the woods as a teen, hiding from society. >Am still not over that one girl I was with for 10 years. Been 3 years since we broke up, thinking of her every day. >Even more symptoms? Uh, physical pain when I think someone is trying to grill me with microwaves is another one I guess >I live mostly alone, though I have an active club life
>>675708340 I've always been curious about people who claim they hear voices in their head. Because I could barely understand the concept of hearing oneself talk in their head or inner monologue, since when I try concentrating focusing on it's origin within myself I eventually feel as though I'm actually saying it in my mouth but without speaking it (mouthing it without moving my lips). So do the voices you hear sound like how you sound to yourself when thinking but in a different voice or what? Thank for answering
for me I have them as early as being awake for 11 hours, I see shadow people walk by my room at night and sometimes I see them in the corner of my room, I started sleeping with my door shut and this helped
>>675709335 Yeah, and my limit gets smaller and smaller. Nowadays I can even enjoy slight psychosis but I know that I am seriously close to completely and permanently fucking up my brain and will probably be full blown insane sooner or later
>>675709735 Yeah fucking shadow people. I now sleep in a room with a door which makes a lot of noise when opened. You can't open it silently, this calmed me lots since I know I'd wake up if somebody entered that room.
>18 You are below average age of onset for first symptoms, when did you become diagnosed and why? >Male I see, this is important, you're probably somewhere between autism and mania. >So the treatment would be a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor, but that will sometimes trigger mania, have you tried Quetiapin? >History Okay, were you treated for childhood PTSD? Or given any therapeutic treatment after these happenings? >Girls Well, how strong is your medicine dosage? That thing kills your lust you know. It is a signal to the brain. >Social That is often the case
Look, you need the medicine to stop the positive symptoms, but it amplifies your negative symptoms. How long have you been in treatment? Do you do cognitive therapy? Do you live with your family?
I'm schizo too, I've built my life around dealing with this. I'll share some knowledge with you.
>>675708911 For me they sound as if they'd come from the attic. I then placed an old smartphone with recorder and couldn't verify the voices. I wasn't convinced they were not there though, as I could hear them a tiny bit when listening to the recording.
Analysis with some audio tools didn't support that tho. I don't know and I can't find out myself. To make things worse someone actually broke into the attic some weeks later, destroyed the windows and shit. that fucked me up.
When you don't know what's real and what not anymore, then things can get rough. In the beginning of an episode I know that what I'm hearing and seeing is not real, but later I'm not so sure anymore
>>675709624 I just have a few prodromal symptoms, but I hear things occasionally. For me, they can range from noises like clicking or hissing, almost like an old house settling, to someone I know calling my name from behind a door or in the distance. There's always a weird feeling afterward.
sometimes when I hangout with someone all day I'll hear their voice saying various phrases or things. just random shit and never anything conversational. like chunks of a sentence or something. this usually happens as I fall asleep. Is that weird? Does it happen to anyone else?
>How long have you dealt with it? >Do you have any strategies? >Do you have anti anxiety medicine? >Do you drink coffee in the morning? >Do you have a high dosage of anti psychotica? >Do you take your medicine?
Also, I know the medicine has some nasty side effects. Most notibly the loss of drive. But as the cognitive therapy starts to work the dosage can be decreased. Right now it is just really important to stop the haunting. It will be stopped by medicine.
havent seen them outside, probably cuz I live on the 2nd floor with my windows shut. I've seen them during the day walk past windows and such. Sometimes I see them in the corner of my looking at me while I watch television
>>675709624 >since when I try concentrating focusing on it's origin within myself I eventually feel as though I'm actually saying it in my mouth but without speaking it (mouthing it without moving my lips
I think that's how it works for most people. The origin of the fake voices I hear is usually somewhere outside my head. Like if there were people on the otherside of the door whispering about how they will come inside and kill me.
Or inside a cabinet or whatever. In public it's even worse because as soon as I hear lots of voices in a crowded space I think I can understand lots of them talking crazy stuff which makes me unable to assess most situations accurately. Like I have no idea if somebody just humiliated me or not. Shall I say something, or not. Stuff like that.
Coupled with anxiety that can be severe.
>>675709624 >sucks ass to have though, you have my sympathy
Defo, thanks dude. Guess this will never go away in my life, but I could do more to limit it. Like stop taking drugs. But yeah.
had one full blown episode after not sleeping healthily, taking way too many stims (think adhd) and drinking, plus smoking a small amount of weed -- drinking and smoking were a few hours apart.
full on psychosis happened soon afterwards and continued to not sleep for another day or so. gradually the symptoms faded over the next few days.
haven't touched weed since nor drank much at all, but still occasionally stay up way too long on too many stims and still feel paranoid as fuck, especially on buses for some reason. i always think i can hear people saying i smell bad, even though i shower frequently - almost too much. like, i'm completely convinced these random people are saying shit and i think i hallucinate with seeing their facial expressions change to indicate that i smell weird. also, when feeling like this, i also feel physically detached in a way and my eyes feel heavy as fuck and dried out.
after some sleep and regular dose of stims, i feel completely normal. could this turn into full blown schizophrenia? fucking scared
>>675710871 The medicine will stop the hauntings. It will also stop your erection, that is no fun. But as your symptoms decrease and your overall well-being increases from mastering life, it will be safe then for you to cut down on medicine, to the point where you can be one hundred percent your own man.
You might try abilify, it will knock out at first, I'm not gonna lie to you. It never really gets better, the goal is to get a secure footing. You probably don't even notice your worst symptoms because they blend so effortlessly in. People looking at you angrily from cars, newspapers writing about that thing you just talked with someone about. The tv having programs about issues that you recently started thinking about, slips of deja vu. This needs to quiet down before you can do anything.
Get the positive symptoms with medicine. Get the seclusion, the lonliness, the lack of drive, with pure willpower. It is a muscle, and you'll have to train it. But if I could have started out when I was 18 I would have.
>>675710987 >>How long have you dealt with it? Started 5 years ago, when I was awake for 10 days on amphetamines. Thought police would raid my apt any moment now for days. Also heard friends talking shit about me on the street but there was nobody. Then went away for some time but returned like 2 years ago without warning. >>Do you have any strategies? As I experienced some episodes I see some similarities between them so I know what to look for, and I try to verify things where I'm not sure. Like I have cameras around the house and sensors and stuff, or I ask really good friends to help me do some reality checks. Other than that, not really. >>Do you have anti anxiety medicine? Not yet, but I will soon go seek professional help since my anxiety is more and more keeping me from functioning. Lost my job because of it and am living now isolated. Which makes it even worse. >>Do you drink coffee in the morning? Usually not, but if I do I can get real fucking anxious. Can even start hearing voices when I drink >1 liter. Not always though. >>Do you have a high dosage of anti psychotica? Not yet, but I do the worst thing ever, which is taking recreational drugs. Like, all over the place. Mostly - LSD - MDMA - Amphetamines - Lots of alcohol. Alcohol made things better in the past, but now that's reversed. In public I get real anxious when drunk, opposite of what it was before.
I've cut down on all of them because of the Schizofrenia though, and if I do amphetamines things get real bad after day 2-3 so I don't do that anymore
>>Do you take your medicine? Don't have any yet, only reason why is because it won't go well with MDMA and other drugs. But I will need to get medicine, else I'll be insane in a few years from now. Apart from the anxiety probably stopping with all mind altering substances would make it go almost away.
Thanks a lot for your thoughts on that, really appreciated.
>>675711269 >it has actually worked in "real life" on some occasions
What happened on these occasions? Someone trying to break in?
Yeah I do stuff like that also, like putting a bottle on the door handle or some metal on the window which would fall if the window were opened/broken. I mostly use cameras and microphones though, which also already helped in real life. It can make you even more insane though, listening to amplified noises all day and watching video streams. That's crazy in itself.
But yeah, somebody actually tried to break in. It was my sister with some friends, they are druggies on heroin and were trying to rob me. Shit was scary, but the cameras catched them.
>>675712434 Well, you are paranoid, so you act paranoid, which is also awkward and people would rather not deal with that. Meaning they will shun you and oztresize you.
This is why you need an anti anxiety medicine as well, perhaps seroquel. Even if you told yourself to calm down and act normal the paranoid demons would get you in the end.
So abilify or resperidon for the voices and visions. Seroquel when the mania kicks in, with insomnia, the feeling of being one with god, perhaps even seeing angels wings grow out from your back, or constantly talking with god or having an angel beside you. If you take SSRI when that happens it will trigger psychosis.
>>675712055 Not anon in question, but I started lexapro last year for anxiety and depression. Could get hard for a few minutes, but couldn't cum a lot of the time. Also had no motivation, completely apathetic to everything. Had to withdraw from my university. Was referred to a clinic for psychosis, have a clinical high risk for developing something. Got put on welbutrin along with the lexapro and my dick started acting normal again, got a lot of my drive back.
>>675711477 >after some sleep and regular dose of stims, i feel completely normal. could this turn into full blown schizophrenia? fucking scared
Yeah, started the same for me. Especially the bus thing. I can't smoke weed anymore either and get real paranoid on stims (pharma grade amphetamine, but recreationally). Worst thing is the sleep deprivation, it will fuck you up even more than drugs. So be careful, that can turn into full blown schizo.
At least be more careful than I am, I'm turning into a full blown schizo with more and more frequent paranoid episodes but I love the fucking drugs. Oh well, hopefully I'll not end up in some water tank or something. Got almost killed a few times on an episode by my own faults
>>675712819 Deja vu, the general feeling that something's off with the world or you, the feeling that you or the world aren't real I'm someway. If it happens occasionaly, that's normal. If it happens a few times a week, that might be something to get checked.
>driving Might just be high anxiety, which can be helped with SSRIs. Either way, if something has been interfering with your life, it's something to talk to a professional about.
>>675714119 >If you know they aren't real, or that you know you're schizophrenic, can't you just ignore them?
That works up to a point, they still won't vanish tho. But, as things progress they become impossible to ignore and you get delusional. You can't just ignore them like you would ignore other people at a restaurant or something.
Hate derealization, have it a lot. I've also got HPPD, and that fucking fog is driving me crazy- It doesn't help with hallucinations at all when you can even see stuff moving around when you're not in an episode.
>>675712529 Likely, you have at least partially drug abuse induced your condition. You've done a diet of what we call uppers and hallucinogens. Alcohol is a downer, and would have helped, but now the brain isn't playing along anymore. Also, alcohol doesn't do anything against hallucinations.
You should bring this information to the table. The rush from the drugs is simply something your brain won't take. You're making all kinds of neural connections, shortcuts that aren't even supposed to be there. You need to slow that shit down with some innhibitors.
It is honestly very hard to deal with this shit without the medicine. I hate the medicine, I can't even fap when I'm on it. But it's gonna be temporarly, today I only use quetiapin, I can fap from six to eight o'clock. I feel lust for women, things are getting better and better.
You need to get on them meds, then start training your willpower. And it will be very tough, because that medicine stops the drive, you will have to will your way through everything you do. It takes some getting used to, but you'll get it back when you cut down on dosage.
>>675714911 well, if you would stop yakking about how much you hate your friend at work you'd know your penis wants you to get off your lazy ass and make something to eat, and maybe have a clean house when he gets home
>>675715086 Thanks for your assessment. I'm real scared to take medicine but I think there's no way around at least some SSRI because of anxiety. I've always thought I could manage it without but it's not getting better at all.
Might be good that I'll need to stop recreational drugs when getting on meds tho. I'd be forced to, which is good I guess. Stuff like MAOIs can be terribly dangerous when combined with stims, but you know all that already.
>>675713572 shit, lack of sleep can turn you full schizo? know anything on whether your sleeping pattern in general can contribute to it developing fully? say for example, i stay up for 2 days maximum, sleep at 1pm and wake up at 3am?
anyway, it's weird knowing these experiences happen to other people in some pretty specific and similar ways. what else have you went through whilst feeling like this? i've found the symptoms are way less bothersome if i make sure to eat more than i usually would, smoke more, and drink a tonne of water. if i'm sweating like mad, which is another usual symptom, i'll just go run my hands and wrists under cold water until they're basically numb -- temporarily snaps me out of feeling so strange too.
>>675712819 Like your future self allready lived that moment and it gave you the preculiar sense of events that had allready unfolded repeating themselves. Thus, dicrediting reality as not authentic. Giving validation to the grandiose origins of your voices. Promising you that it is all a game, that every hand has allready been played and you're nothing but destinys puppet. Perhaps even letting off a little tingly sensation of hope that you were the piece on the chess board that could act out of free will, perhaps even change outcomes ordered by the gods.
Driving while dulled down on drugs or high on delusions isn't exactly the best idea. Car is a game played by very important rules, you're racin in a ton heavy metal object running at high velocity.
It will most likely happen at some point in my life, I'm sure it will end up with me going to the mental hospital for an amount of time. I fear what I don't know, and I have no clue what a psychotic episode will be like even though I have prodromal symptoms
>>675716100 >shit, lack of sleep can turn you full schizo? know anything on whether your sleeping pattern in general can contribute to it developing fully? say for example, i stay up for 2 days maximum, sleep at 1pm and wake up at 3am?
Yeah, for example if you get stimulant psychosis the sleep deprivation contributes more than the drugs to the psychosis. They even torture people by depriving them, to induce delusion & psychosis. Guantanamo is an example for that.
Good sleeping pattern are important to keep you same, but you will notice if 2 days is to much for you or not. It totally depends on the person. Not doing it will be better tho.
>>675716100 >anyway, it's weird knowing these experiences happen to other people in some pretty specific and similar ways.
True, I've talked to a lot of people with fucked up minds and there are a lot of similarities indeed.
Also as you've experienced staying hydrated and eating well is also important. It can make a fucking huge difference
Sometimes when I'm trying to sleep I can be woken up by a loud noise or someone screaming. I know it's not real but it's freaking me the fuck out. I also sometimes hear people calling my name when there is no one around.
Is it the drugs or something else? I can hear it when sober aswell.
>>675716064 Well, ask the doctor to give you something that would bring you in gently. I got an acute psychosis so the basicly knocked me out with the highest dosage that they were allowed to give. If you have the time you can go into it very gently. Letting you get used to willpower your way through previously banale things, such as taking a piss. And, make sure you're not hungry, because if you first feel hungry it won't go away before hours after, no matter how you eat, a double edged sword. You're either always contempt, making you lose much wheight, or always hungry, making you gain. Use it as an advantage. Stay healthy.
>>675716100 >what else have you went through whilst feeling like this?
One thing I did was hiding in a high voltage room full of exposed wiring since I was running away from people trying to kill me. Or I've taken the bus to another country to get away, just to then think the people in the bus were in on harming me too. Which made me scream and force the bus driver to stop in bumfuck nowhere to let me out. That was real scary.
Also when I'm in a room I think I can see people behind the door through the door crack or key hole if it's an old fashioned one. I once called the police because I thought there was somebody on the other side trying to get in.
Stuff like that, it starts with shadow people which I learned to live with, and from there can go on if I don't manage to sleep. Which can be difficult/impossible when you're anxious and are fearing for your life
>>675717711 Mhm, it leads into feelings of grandiosity. I have a pretty good grip on reality, but I just can't stop myself from talking to "god", he is very very persistent! I see myself growing wings, I even feel them on my back right now, the weight of them, the fastening of the wings. I tell myself it isn't real, but sometimes it is seductive. It isn't the worst types of trip, but knowing the chemistry I know they will set the stage for the opposite type of trip later on, so I need to take my meds. Uppers create downers. And I don't want a waking nightmare.
What you're getting is a signal, learn what comes after. Look for those signals, so you're always a step ahead of the demon.
>>675716135 >Sounds like there's a tipping point. Do you fear or embrace a full on psychotic episode?
Yup there's that point, and I never exactly know when it'll come to that point. In the beginning of an episode I even find it a little bit funny, these voices sometimes sure are funny and nice people. But they get darker and darker until impossible to ignore. My first episode was the scariest tho, since I had no idea what the fuck was happening to me. Nowadays I know that things will get better if I manage to sleep, and I keep some Benzodiazepines for these moments.
But if you're too far in there's no way you'll sleep. The fear is overwhelming in that case
>>675718405 I take all drugs, but stick to alcohol and weed in my daily life, maybe once or twice a month I spice it up with some LSD/MDMA/Ketamine or whatever I feel like. I don't feel I have a problem with alcohol. But I definately do more drugs than your average joe.
>>675718645 >even feel them on my back right now, the weight of them, the fastening of the wings
Have you been in one of these threads a few months back talking about that? I remember some dude who described that exact thing, or is that a common thing?
I'm sometimes absolutely sure I can telepathically talk to people without wanting to do that. Like I could read their minds and they could read mine. I sure hope I can't though, since I think of some really weird shit all the time and they would get so mad. So now I don't know if they just don't tell me they can read me or what. Ah, the joy of mental illness
>>675720631 >I too have alot of experience with drugs but my friends seems alot more grounded that me considering mental health. I keep it to myself.
Same, only my best friend knows that I have these issues. And all the other party people seem to be lots more grounded as well.
For me the state I get in when I'm smoking weed is a real good indicator for my mental health state. There are times when I can really thoroughly enjoy weed, and others where I think I'll die from a heart attack any second while everybody watches. Depends lots on the setting and set also. Weed isn't a harmless drug in any case I think. Not if you're predestined for such mental fuckery
Please support this website by donating Bitcoins to 16mKtbZiwW52BLkibtCr8jUg2KVUMTxVQ5 If a post contains copyrighted or illegal content, please click on that post's [Report] button and fill out a post removal request
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows an archive of their content. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.