Had a two year relationship with a borderline psychotic bitch. I'm over her now but pretty sure I'm emotionally fucked forever at this point. Had multiple chances to get in relationships since then and rejected them all
>>675673554 Thanks for that, maybe you should find one and make him happy. Nerds often are real good and faithful bf material, when/if you get to know them better. Not all of them ofc, some are just fucked up in some way.
>>675669152 I am a virgin retard. There is no hope for me. I only like one person and theres no chance. She's sorta emo and cuts and a little chubby but I fucking love her. Shes so cute and perfect and great at cuddling and being around. We used to date two years ago and I havent dated her again but I have never forgot her. She recently became single again so I'll ask her out in a month or so. She helped alot with my depression and suicidal thoughts. We were always friends even after we broke up. I love her to death I'll never love another girl aside from her. I would wait my whole life for her. I will not date anyone else if I can't have her I would kill myself. I have no point without her.
I don't want to die alone, I don't even care much for the sex. I'm searching for the life companion kinda thing.
I had that, plus nice sex, can't believe I don't have anybody anymore and forgot how to even talk to grills. I can't even talk to gfs of other people, even tho I know I won't get them or flirt with them or wathever.
I mean, how can you even lose the ability to talk to girls? When I had a gf I didn't have that problem, vicious cycle
>>675674453 ive had social anxiety since mid high school, cause i was raped but some guy when i was 12. also had my dad move away. Sister comite suicide. Then i see people posting on facebook about how depressed and anxious they are for fucking college finals. and everyone feels so bad for these people. fucking faggots would commit suicide on the first day if they had the kind of anxiety i have all the fucking time. i dont go to a therapist for drugs, cause im sure im just going to overdose one day and that will be my lifes story.
>>675673447 Well I say psychotic bitch, but to be fair a lot of what made her the way she is was family stuff. It's actually a pretty crazy story, so I'll go ahead and tell some and continue if people are interested
>be me, 16 y/o >played xbox live a lot as a teenager and developed a decent network of friends >one day when I'm playing with one of my buddies, some girl joins the party >turns out it's his sister >now being the 16 y/o that I was, I crack a few jokes about how girls can't play games, tell her to make me a sandwich, etc. all in good fun >she gets annoyed and ends up leaving, me and my buddy are cracking up >fast forward like two years, about to graduate from high school >turns out she's a pretty decent gamer, fun to joke around with and decently attractive as well >eventually one night we're all playing together, and buddy says he's got to get off because he has work, leaving us two in the party >we play for a bit, talk a bit, and then shit starts to get flirty >asking each other questions that get more and more sexual as the night goes on >after a few hours stuff is starting to get pretty intense, i'm sporting a raging boner >"mmm all this talking is starting to make me... a little 'hot n bothered' if you know what I mean..." she says >fuckyeah.jpg >proceed to have "phone sex" over xbox live until we both cum as she's moaning my name over the mic >we talk for a little more and then decide it's getting pretty late and decide to hit the sack >last thing she says is, "that was pretty fun, maybe we'll have to do it again some time" >get the best sleep ever that night
>>675675313 That's the first step out of the nightmare. I've had similar experiences but the rape, I know how hard it is but once it's done so much weight will be off your shoulders you won't even believe it
There should be, like a dating website exclusively for socially awkward and anxious people. Would be better than a regular dating site as you know the other people there also have a hard time at that game.
>>675675313 Yeah I've got a similar story, dad jumped off bridge, sister is on heroin with aids, raep, was always living in foster homes, no education, no friends, real bad anxiety keeping me from doing almost everything.
Hate how everyone thinks they have it so bad, they've got no fucking clue
>from this point on I'll refer to her as Megan >after this night, Megan and I start talking all the time, and not just on xbox live >we text constantly throughout the day, and spend an hour on the phone every night, with phone sex becoming a regular thing >eventually we decide to start "dating" >I had been in relationships before, but none like this, I was so happy >we would always tell each other about how glad we were to have finally found someone we truly "loved" >now remember, I was just about to graduate high school and was in the process of applying for college >she lived in south texas and one of the schools I was applying to was UT because of it's great CS program (ending up transferring to another major anyway) >Megan was also graduating and would be going to another school in Texas >this meant we might actually get to have a real relationship, not just online >we would talk all about how great it was gonna be when we were finally able to really be together >I still remember the day I told her I was accepted and would be moving down there, she started crying out of happiness >it seemed like everything was going perfectly, a magical future awaited us both >but, as I'm sure most anons know, things rarely turn out as perfectly as imagined...
>>675677019 I was once on the "advertisements" for one of those geek dating sites.Aka one of the "pretty" people you see when they send you an email Someone pulled it up and showed it to me. Talk about awkward
>>675677394 >over the course of the months following that first night, I started to notice a bit of a change in our relationship >she was becoming more and more distant >the time it took her to respond to texts become longer and longer, sometimes hours at a time >our nightly phone conversations experienced a similar decrease in frequency and length, along with the phone sex >I started to get worried >why was she taking so long to respond? >was it something I did? >no.... that couldn't be it, nothing had changed that I could see, and the time we did talk was still great, she still told me she loved me all the time and about how excited she was for me to move >but then, over time, even that started to decrease >less "I love you's", less excitement >I didn't know what was going on but I was afraid to lose her >foolishly I thought if I showed more enthusiasm, she would do the same as well >little did I know this is rarely effective and can even be detrimental >our relationship was on a downhill path and there was nothing I could do to figure out why >and it started to eat away at me, little by little
>Megan was majoring in archaeology >she talked about it all the time >one day she finally admitted her love for fossils / dinosaur bones / etc >our relationship started to fade >we became distant, less xbox sex, less sexting >one day she told me her archaeology professor had dropped by about a prehistoric uncovering in Africa >she was going to move to Africa for the semester >I heard a knock at the door >hit the floor >everybody dust off the dinosaur
>>675669384 Correct me if I'm wrong but pretend for a second that in fact the things you say are true, you're fat and ugly then let's suppose your probability of getting a girlfriend is 2%, that means that if you approach to 10 girls in one night your ratio success is 0.2 girls in one night, to get at least one successful approach you need to solve the equation x*0.02=1, wich is equivalent to 50 approaches, so the more you try the more probability of getting a girlfriend you have. But it's your fault for being a fat fuck and lazy bitch
>>675678401 >the reality of my fears came crashing down on our 3 month "anniversary" >I had to get up early that day to catch a flight to visit my dad (parents were divorced), so right before I left I sent her a long text wishing her a happy anniversary and the usual love filled comments about how soon it would be before we would be together >as I got off the plane, I remember turning my phone off airplane mode and closing my eyes just praying there would be a text, some sign of reciprocation of my feelings >instead I saw a voicemail >Megan never left voicemails >still remember the exact quote, "hey.. anon..." >long dramatic pause >"I can't do this anymore.. It's just not working... I'm sorry" >and that was it >no explanation, no attempt at consolation, nothing >just a simple statement of fact, "it's over" >I walked through the terminal of the airport somewhere between shock and utter grief, trying my damndest to hold back the tears >I thought it was the end of our "perfect" relationship... if only that had actually been true
mother was a psychotic fucking bitch who left when i was 10
every women i've been with makes no god damn sense at fucking all and only causes me heartache and trouble
Doesn't cook. Doesn't take care of the home. Extremely self absorbed and self centered. Completely fucking useless and complain all the god damn time about NOTHING. Just to fuck with your head and manipulate you. Nah man fuck all that.
At this point I consider myself a non-participating homosexual.
I did, and she was amazing. Beautiful and smart and funny and we got on so well together. She left me a week ago. Wanted to kill myself since.
I just know that I will never meet anyone like her ever again. She was 100% perfect from my point of view. Exactly what I look for physically. I'm not being irrational when I say I will never be as attracted to anyone as I was to her.
Worst part is she left me because I was too clingy because I was afraid she'd leave me. She misses me and my company, but she couldn't deal with the idea that I'd always like her more than she liked me.
>>675679321 >fast forward 2 months >hadn't talked to Megan since that day, I called her to try and get some explanation but nothing she said really gave me any closure >just the usual, "I just don't think I can handle this relationship right now, it's too difficult with you being far away, blah blah blah" >the usual stereotypical shit people say during a breakup, means nothing >I was horribly depressed for about a month after the breakup but had started to recover >the future was relatively bright, I was going to a good school for a degree I was interested in and was ready to move out of the parents' house and truly start my adult life >about a week before I left to go to Texas, I get this text from Megan >"hey, I know you're gonna be heading down here soon for school... maybe you could let me know when you get here, and maybe... I dunno... we could try again" >I should have told her to fuck off right then and there >too bad I was a retarded teenager, none the wiser to how these things end up >I couldn't help but feel total excitement at the thought that maybe we really could be together >maybe before was just a fluke? ha >a week later I'm settling into my dorm, meet my new roommate whose a nerdy asian guy planning on going to medical school, go buy my textbooks, etc. >shit's going well >remember what Megan had said and decide to shoot her a text, "I'm down here finally, just getting settled in" >we chat for a bit about nonchalant stuff, looking forward to classes, what her school is like, what mine's like, etc. nothing big >then she makes some comment, "yeah, i'm really excited, I just wish i knew somebody else who was going here, I think I'm gonna be lonely for a while" >my dumbass mind goes into hyper drive >this could be the perfect chance >trying to play it cool "well, I have labor day off, so I could always come out there and hang, ya know, if you have some free time or whatever" >"Really? I mean you'd actually do that??" >"yeah sure why not?"
>>675681173 im the same as you dude. 25/M to make things clear. I would fuck a dude as long as he were a twink, I would fuck a trap as long as it were feminine, but i would only ever date a woman or a post op MtF trap,
I broke up with my girlfriend of 6 years. We had a fair amount of issues that remained unresolved and we argued all the time. Deep down I didn't love her anymore.
I completely broke her heart and now she wants nothing to do with me. She was my best friend. Now I'm alone and although I think breaking up was the right decision, I feel like shit and haven't handled the breakup very well.
>>675681265 >Worst part is she left me because I was too clingy because I was afraid she'd leave me. She misses me and my company, but she couldn't deal with the idea that I'd always like her more than she liked me.
>>675681941 Not *that* long, but we were making plans to find a place and live together once she left uni (we both wanted to live in the same city). And that was her suggestion, not mine.
So I had too much banking on the relationship. She was my whole future. I got a new job so that when she did finish uni I'd be able to comfortably afford my half of the deposit and rent. Now everything seems like it's for nothing because that was my reason for carrying on. She didn't just make me happy with her company, she gave me a reason to really try to make the most of my life.
>>675681266 >"oh... well if you're sure, I'd love if you came over for the weekend :)" >literally insta-boner >two days later I'm packing up all my shit and about to head to the Greyhound station with 2 nights in a hotel booked near her college (didn't have a car freshman year and her dorm was girls only, guys not allowed to spend the night) >it was about a 5 hour bus ride, and I could barely sit still from pure excitement >this was finally it! I was finally gonna be able to see her in person! No more talking over phones, no more webcam chats, this was for real >5 hours later I step off the bus, and she's there, leaning against her car with the most beautiful smile I've ever seen >we rush towards each other and give a huge hug >the feeling of giving somebody a hug who you have a deep relationship but have never physically touched before is beyond words >the warmth of her body, her arms around me, it was like a fucking orgasm >we stop for some fast food and then head back to her dorm >while riding the elevator up to her dorm, I get the brilliant idea that we should call her brother (my buddy) >I call him from her phone, and he picks up, "what do you want, home sick already? jeez it's been like a week" >I reply, "sup bro?" >"HOLY SHIT ANON IS THAT YOU??!! WHAT THE FUCK?" >lulz were had >later on I'm up her in dorm and we're just sitting on her bed, joking about her brother and just generally enjoying good conversation >eventually the conversation dies away and we're just looking in each other's eyes >we kiss, smile at each other, and kiss some more >after a bit we're full on making out, and then she pulls back a bit >"let's go to the hotel anon"
>>675682886 Alright guys, I know it's taking a long time for each post so I'll try and accelerate the story a bit
>spend all weekend having fucking amazing sex, the first time for me >couldn't be happier, it's literally exactly like I had dreamed so many months ago >after the weekend's over, we finally talk about whether we should get back together >she's all for it, and of course I am too >I feel sad as I get on the bus back to Austin but happiest I've ever been at the same time >over the next month things go back to how they were in the beginning >texting all the time, calling each other daily, no phone sex since we both had roommates but our texts tried to make up for that >all in all, shit was just going fucking great
>then something happened >after about a month of getting back together, I get a call from her brother, also one of my best friends >he's telling me about how some girl he used to date broke up with him and was spreading lies about him all around school (he was a year younger and still in high school) >he was practically in tears, started saying some crazy shit about how maybe it would be better if he just offed himself >but then said nah, he could never go through with it... "maybe I'll just call 9/11 and go death by cop" >throughout all of this I'm telling him it's gonna be okay, pleading him not to do it and that I'll come and visit him soon, not to worry >"look bro, I'm here for you, okay? Don't do this shit. Don't let some bitch ruin this for you" >finally he agrees I'm right and we end on a good note >everything seems like it's going to be okay
>>675684363 >Megan calls me sobbing >she keeps trying to get the words out but every time fails in a mixture of agonizing screams and hyperventilation >"it's... it's... about... my brother" >to this day, I have never had such a sinking feeling in my chest >it was disgusting, revolting, complete and utter horror at the prospect of what was going to come next >I felt as thought I could never take another breath but at the same time wanted to vomit out my entire digestive tract >"he's...he's.... DEAD" followed by a burst of sobbing >for a second I was speechless, literally incapable of making my vocal cords work >eventually, I managed to spit out, "jesus... oh my god... no .... Megan I am so sorry. I am so fucking sorry" >she cried into the phone for another 10 seconds and then just hung up, and I didn't hear from her again for the rest of the day despite my texts and calls >that was the single worst day of my entire life
* For the most part, I despise being around people. The internet is acceptable.
*I don't have the patience to deal with the bullshit that comes with being in a relationship.
*I don't compromise what I like to do for enjoyment for the sake of someone's displeasure or approval.
*I don't need a relationship to have pussy on a steady basis. I've got enough friends with benefits.
*Relationships and money do not go together.
And no, I won't be a sad lonely man or I'll never experience love at it's fullest (I've been married twice out of love, not for stability.) or any of the other asinine drivel that people think is so great about being a relationship. Being a bachelor and being able to do whatever I want suits me perfectly.
>>675685605 >the following is information I gathered over the course of the next few weeks >turns out his dad come home from work and was wondering where his son was >he wasn't in his room, anywhere else in the house, or at the grandparent's house next door (she lived on a ranch with her brother and parents, along with the mother's parents in a house on the same plot of land) >his dad walked around the property and eventually found him >lying on the ground, .38 revolver next to him, flip phone still open and lying next to him >bullet wound through the skull a few inches behind the temple
>Megan's aunt drives up to pick her up the next day and takes her back to her house >the whole time I'm in fucking shambles, in grief for the loss of my friend, and incredibly worried about Megan >I hardly hear from her at all over the next few days >I try my best not to send her too many texts or call her but it's difficult >end up simply asking her when the funeral is and that I want to come down and pay my respects >she agrees and says I can stay at her house >however, she makes sure to make sure clear one important fact, a fact that will ultimately destroy our relationship years down the road >her parents don't know who I am, that I went to see her, or that we're dating >all they know is that I was her brother's friend on xbox live
>>675686155 It was difficult in the beginning to muster up the fortitude to do whatever I wanted, regardless of what people thought about me. It can really screw with your heart and mind, real torment. I had to take long walks and exhaust my body and mind to keep anxiety and stress away. I made myself too tired to worry about it.
That put me in great shape and since I'd already been married once, I had something of an idea of how to handle women looking for a relationship. What they wanted, thought they wanted, expected and thought they've earned. I'd learned to manage my money better and not blow it on shit that doesn't matter.
Sure you want to buy flowers, candy, cards and do things like that to show your gf or wife that you love her. It keeps things pleasant. You can have a wife or a happy wife. But one car for your partner is enough. Flying to other cities on a whim and eating expensive food was fun too, but when you neglect your health or things around the home front that you really need in exchange for that fun, that kind of relationship is not worth your life or health. Pussy will make you think and do crazy shit.
Then finally one of the little pearls about relationships paid off. The only one.
"If you're partner truly loves you, they'll accept you no matter what."
>>675669152 I'm socially autistic and when the flame of attraction is lit i view the future which is harmful or look at my past love resume to know enough to leave the other person alone before I make them sad by being transparent to my life. Tfw I'm so very lonely. Tfw I'm looking forward to leaving my home today for a chance to meet eyes with another and smile nervously. So severely lonely.
>>675687594 one day decide " i feel God will tell me when i meet my husband , and i dont feel that with u" , " i want to be single and do the things i want to do" , ok alls good , 3 weeks later in a new relationship , with a fucking ugly dude , but he is rich and well known in the area so i guess thats what girls do these days .. i put up so much shit with this girl , i think i was litrally the best boyfriend , never got mad , jeleous , let her go out ext. but fuck it , ill be a man whore from now on.
>>675687154 >hop on another Greyhound and get there around 11PM >Megan's sitting there waiting for me with a bunch of her brother's friends >we silently hug and then file into one of the friends' car and drive 40 minutes back to her house >upon arrival we walk into the house and her mom is sitting there, quietly crying into her hands, dad's nowhere to be seen >she looks up, sees we're there, and immediately gets up and hugs me without saying a word >"you only knew him over the internet... and you came all this way just for him... you don't know how much that means to me" >the next day we attend the funeral >sadasfuck.png >Megan and her mother both had to excuse themselves for a few minutes to cry their eyes out in the back >stay the rest of the weekend, try to console her as best as I can, and then hop back on the bus to Austin >over the course of the next week I give my best effort to see how Megan's doing, but don't hear much from her >about a week and a half after the funeral, she breaks up with me >so now it's pretty clear right? this relationships is a failure. too much shit has happened, it's time to finally move on, right? >wrong
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