ITT: shit you've done at house parties >Piss all over

kys

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>>675622081

>In college I partied a lot

you sound like an absolute cunt and i bet you were uninvited to and unwanted at every single party you ever went to.

cock.

sage goes in all fields.

Okay I'll bite.
Once after everyone was passed out on the floor I moved furniture in front of all the doors and left via window.
Set up cams in the hosts brothers room and auctioned it off to horny couples. Set up a "VIP" area upstairs people had to give me 5$ to get to

>>675622398
All different parties because I'm not that large of an asshole.

if someone ever done something like this to my house id keep you in the house and torture you until you clean up and fix everything you ever touched or pissed on, you will be sorry and i hope someone does get their hands on you

>>675622081
That's not partying faghot

>>675622081
You're literally the biggest faggot on 4chan congrats

>>675622398
>Set up a "VIP" area upstairs people had to give me 5$ to get to
Nice idea anon

>>675622081
I always end up pissing in not the toilet at some point during the party

>>675622449
you ARE that large of an asshole though. read your first post and then try to say youre not. i would never want you at a party, and shit i wouldnt ever even want to smoke with your sketchy ass

Oh god, so many stories. I could be here all day.

>Be at some hot bitches house party
>Go in the bathroom drunk as shit
>Start stuffing Q tips down the sink as far as I can
>Flush about 20 Q tips
>See a basket full of soaps and nice shower stuff
>Piss it full
>steal the toilet paper roll holder
>wipe my ass on a towel

I come back out and everyone is really quiet, just looking.I think I'm caught, it ended up being over something else though, two bitches started fighting a few minutes later.

>>675623675
I've pissed in shampoo before too

>>675623675
>>675623728
>>675622081

this is why i dont throw parties. ill just have like 4 or 5 hommies over and get fucked up. if you throw a party theres always some waste of air fuckheads that think its cool to trash the place or steal peoples shit. you guys remind me of my hommie thomas. i stopped chilling with him awhile back after he pulled a gun on a mutual friend. fuck people like you guys

>>675623675

Same guy here

>be at a party with a bunch of rednecks
>already knocked over a china cabinet, made it look like an acident
>Punch a hole in a picture
>Party was dying down me and my buddy were going to pass out
>He said he was bored
>Told him to kick a window out
>split second decisions for him
>Kicked that bitch so hard it busted both top and bottom
>Put my head down acting like im asleep but can't quit laughing
>rednecks going wild screaming WHO DID IT
>I was laughing so they thought it was me
>Claimed that I was alseep and dont know why im laughing
>lesbian redneck pushed me and gets hit
>fight ensues
>got the shit beat out of me

>>675623987
>>675623675

Same guy again this wasn't in a house though

>be at a hill top party
>see some fat guy mad af
>I scream hey fat ass
>he comes over and says WHO SAID MY NAME
>Everyone dies laughing
>I ask him why hes mad he said someone stole a gun
>I blame some guy that I didnt like and had just left the party
>He starts packing up his camper to leave
>Im hiding in the crowd with my buddies saying I GOTCHEE GUNNNNN
>After 10 minutes of me saying that he is mad af
>he backs his truck up into his camper and dents it
>now hes really mad
>Everyone laughing and calling him fat
>He opens the door and starts shooting
>crowd scatters I lay in the weeds with my friend
>im still screaming shit at him, too drunk to care
>My buddy is afraid he'll shoot into the weeds
>he gets up to leave and i start screaming SHOOT ME IN THE WHITE SHIRT
>friend runs for his life

That dude eventually left after shooting about 20 more times, no casualties

ITT: people getting angry over a bunch of sentences posted on the internet

>>675622081

you need a good ass beating

>>675622081
>>675623675
>>675623987
>>675624323
My iron rule for house parties: NEVER EVER be the HOST

>>675623977
This.
Fucking scumbags like these are the reason for me too.

>>675623987

>>got the shit beat out of me

That's the best thing I've read in this thread. You deserved it.

>>675624323

You sound like you hang out with some really quality people.

>>675623987
The absolute madman!

>>675622081
>Needed to puke
>Bathroom occupied
>Go into parents' room
>Find garment bag under bed
>Puke in it
>Throw it out the window
>Leave

>>675624323
>Murica

>>675622081
Putting a can of soup in the microwave for ten minutes would not trip a breaker. It would not effect how much power the microwave draws. It might if too many other appliances were running at the same time

>>675622081
I would punch you in the mouth if you pulled shit like that at my party

>partied a lot in college
That's not partying. Your just disgruntled cause you never got lad and you were the fat ugly NEET taking creep shot pics and claiming them as your waifu. Kill your self faggot.

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>>675622081

>>675625063
Catch me

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>>675622081
>punched a butch lesbian in the back of the head as hard i could.
>blamed random passed out guy next to me
>he gets his shit kicked in
>get a handjob from butch lesbian for help

Life. Man.

>>675622081
You sound like a double nigger faggot

>>675625059
Yes it could, tripping breakers is a safety mechanism: if the power is unstable it not necessarily over drawing it could trip it

I always used to squirt a load of washing up liquid into the washing machine to give the owners a bit of a surprise in a day or two.

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ITT
the assholes of /b/

>>675625592
>>675624381

>>675625840
Im an asshole >>675626273

I used to try to steal anything of value from anybody's house i was in....even if it meant hiding ur shit then helping you look for it.

>be at a friends sweet 16 years ago
>it was at her house
>she complained about everything, everyday everywhere...
>even at her party, she started screaming at her father because the music wasn't loud enough, some shit like that
>anyway, i went to her room
>sweet bedroom, nice bed
>full of pillows
>''fuck, i have an idea''
>took the hugest, slimiest grossest shit i could behind her pillow
>cleaned my ass with a pillow and went back to the party
>nobody fucking saw me

>>675628073
Kek

>>675622081
>I once put a can of soup in the microwave for 10 minutes
> it ended up tripping a breaker and the music stopped
I don't think you understand how microwaves work, or even just current or power.

Went for a shit and sniffed some coke

Didn't use a coaster once

>>675622081

this reads like a list of things to do at a party when your not getting pussy

>>675622367
This

>>675622081
Don't go to parties anymore. Straight up asshole.

>ITT: beta faggots who can't get laid retell their expression of anger on unsuspecting hosts, other beta fags cheer them on

>>675623468
Is this a reference to TPB?

>>675630261
Which episode?

I shit in the middle of the stairs

>>675630346
Like season 8 dirty dancing

>>675622081

Holy fuck, are you fucking 12 OP?

Nobody wants idiots like you coming to their parties. It's understandable that someone will punch a hole in a wall, or piss on the front lawn, or throw up in the living room or some shit, but to do all this shit deliberately?

Dude, you're a real psychopath.

Personal favorite of mine:
>fill flask with rubbing alcohol
>leave on table
>????
>profit

>be me drinking four loko
>smoking mad weed
>not much of a drinker. at all. the four loko may as well been fireball to my taste buds
>just chillin having a good time
>stomach ache out of nowhere
>uh oh
>casually get up from the couch and go to the bathroom
>throw up for a solid minute.
>didn't leave no mess, no noise, nothing.
>came back in and friend was like "damn you went pee AGAIN?
>haha, yeah..

>>675622081
You sound like an insecure sadkunt. Welcome to /b/, we harbour the pond scum of humanity

>>675622081
im a typical /b/ user, ive never been to a house party.

>>675628073
>i'm weak

>>675629871
you sick sick mother fucker

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>sister wants to throw new years eve party
>says its only going to be a few people drinking wine
>ends up being atleast 30 people who destroyed everything I owned
never be the host

only "bad" thing ive ever done at a party
>go to party
>there is a spot under a counter where everyone stores their booze
>randomly drink other peoples beers during the night

>>675625801
>washing up liquid

You mean fucking hand soap you weird fuck

>>675630573
I would invite you to a party at my housr

>>675630573
hard af

I'm typically the person that looks out for the host's property. That's not to say I haven't had too much to drink and puked all over a bathroom, but I am the guy that will clean anything better than it was in the first place.

>>675622081
>In college I partied a lot
In college I was a fucking dick

There, fixed it for you.

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>>675630936
>>675625801

>>675631264
I hope everyone was like you in house parties and lan parties.

rape, lots of rape

>At house party of some fag I don't like.
>Drinking a shit ton and having a good time like usual.
>Kid I hate is being a fag.
>Jokes on him, I put cigs out on his tables.
>Cops come and I hide in his bedroom.
>Have to piss like a racehorse, as I haven't pissed at all yet.
>Open the top drawer of his dresser.
>Piss for a solid 5 mins.
>All the piss leaks from the top to the bottom.
>Cops leave, I steal his gf's flipflops and leave.
>Leave with friends, no one suspected anything.
>Create fake snapchat acc.
>Send his gf pics of me cumming on her shoes.
>They just had a fight and she thinks it's him
>They break up.
>No one even had a clue.

>>675622081
why kill the fish?

ITT: niggers

>>675631787
no niggers shoot up the place and start fights

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This whole thread just has me in stitches.

>projectile vomited into a bonfire, the smell pretty much cleared the backyard.
>pissed in a fish tank
>fell asleep in a dog bed
>puked in a swimming pool
>jerked off in a laundry basket while sniffing panties, I think the panties belonged to host's 15 year old sister
>let some random dog into the house. It fell asleep on a bed and growled at anyone that came into the room. Turns out it had run away because of fireworks (new year's) and was just petrified and wanted to hide somewhere.
>set fire to a tea towel and set off the smoke alarms
>stole a bird bath from a neighbour
>drank 1/2 a carton of milk (I'm lactose intolerant) and tried to diarrhoea blast someone's car later that night, ended up with as much shit on myself as the car.

>>675624444
Quads have spoken

>>675624444
>OW MY

>at a house party
>see hot girl
>hot girl is with bf
>got to know bf
>got drunk with him
>eventually hot girl got drunk to
>"oh shit no booze left"
>send bf to go and get more
>bf's gone
>had beer left
>made hot girl get really drunk
>fucked her brain out
>she my bitch now

>>675630573

>at a small party
>about 9 people, single wide trailer
>everyone rolled a blunt
>rotation starts
>20min in a couple of them start saying they laced theirs with percs
>me, about 16 at the time, only ever popped KPs
>after session I mosey outside to escape the gas chamber
>headache ensues
>puke all over the bushes around trailer
>feelsgoodman.gif
>walks back inside, relieved.
>back to business

We'd get along, anon.

>>675628073
Kek, what happened when she found it? No way the story ends there

Didn't take off my shoes on the carpet

>>675634220
Realist fucker ITT

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>go to party of my Ex's ex
>guy is huge faggot, complains about how much beer my ex and I are allowed when I brought a 12 pack and a bottle
>drink as much as i can while still be able to drive
>call up 3 friends to help me and offer them free booze
>kill the bottles one by one
>go into garage and get screwdriver
>open hallway AC vent
> get frozen fish from freezer
>throw deep in vent and close
>after that friends and I decide to leave and pack up a 33 pack to go of assorted beers and got wasted with my bros and ex

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>>675623405
>faghot

>>675622081
kill ur self faggot

>>675633990
>>675630573
I'm like you anons, I may have to throw up but I always make it to the bathroom or at the very least outside, fuck people who throw up all over themselves, degenerates

>>675622367
Second that

Why I don't give house parties - the thread.

>>675629568
Microwaves do cut breakers faggot. Newer model microwaves have fuses or breakers built inside.
But old ones will cut regular house breakers

Somebody archive this please

>>675633774
Sure she is. Now, do your homework Billy.

>>675622081
This isn't even interesting Shit. Its just you being a cunt cause you were raised poorly.
Like its would be acceptable if it was diabolical and creative. But this
This just makes me hope you find a lump in your testicles.

>senior year of high school
>be friends with the popular kids b/c I'm funny
>get invited to this entitled bitch's house party
>starts flipping out when she finds out I invited some of my "less popular" friends
>wait until party is at its peak so I can fuck with her house unnoticed
>big ass mansion
>go into her parent's wine cellar and find the most expensive bottles of champagne + wine
>take a friend with me
>probably take like 15-20 bottles (backpacks)
>go out to her massive backyard
>chug some of the bottles then smash the rest when we felt we were drunk enough
>find out she got in huge trouble for the missing bottles

Still makes me smile when I think about it.

>>675622081
>got drunk
>Black out
>There was a small bathroom next to a bed
>Lay there and vomit my shit out
>Gf just keeps rubbing my back and giving me water
>Next day to lazy to clean up
>Use stream of bleach to wash vomit chunks under bed
Never did some piece of shit crap at parties, the worst i have ever done is to steal a pack of cigarretes and to treathen multiple dudes also after that i started to develop a alcohol tolerance and never got drunk enough to black out again

>>675622398
Do you have the videos to prove it?

>>675622081
OP here, more things I've thought about

>i got barebacked by 10 guys
>i got barebacked by my own father
>i let a tranny bend me over and fuck me in the ass
>i went on /b/

>>675622081
If you ever really did even half of this, someone would've cracked your skull open, scooped out your brains and fed them to you by now.

>be me 21
>at party in some douchebag's house
>get plastered and decide to have some fun
>threw his mattress into the pool
>it took a crane to get it out

>>675622081
lol fucking loser

I've never been invited to a party like you normies.

Did hear a comedy routine about a guy stealing old family photos though. The rationale was that they're the one thing you can't replace.

had food poisoning so i had diarrhea the whole day, still went to the party and drank and when i had to go every bathroom was in use, so i snuck into the parents' bedroom, went in the shower, shat on the floor, turned the water on and let it run down the drain poured bleach all over the floor, turned the water on again, showed and cleaned myself up, walked out and acted like nothing happened

I drink and smoke weed, yet continue to act like a perfectly reasonable respectable person and have a good time because I'm not a massive cockbiter like OP. Seriously what a fucking douche bag

>>675622081
This fag again

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>>675635823
A fucking crane? Serious? I guess that thing would soak up a shit ton of water like a sponge. Gives me an idea! Ha, thanks niggles!

>>675636065
"Why... Why do you do this?"

>>675622081
I guarantee you that you're that dick that is never invited but you show up anyway with your freind who WAS invited. You're the guy at the party who's completley oblivious to how much everyone fucking hates you.

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>have to piss really badly
>at least 100 people at party, line for bathroom longer than line for keg
>go upstairs to search for a second bathroom
>some couple is fucking upstairs in it
>go into a vacant bedroom
>find an empty beer cup
>unload and leave it
>looks like a fresh frothy beer
>mfw

I watched a guy try and break a beer bottle over his head. Hit himself a good 5-6 times till the women stopped him. All us guys just laughed.

>>675636599
Fuck! I'm that guy too! I've done just as much dumb shit as OP.

>>675625516
Kaden?

>>675622081
>Walk into a party
>see a family picture
>ask the guy if it's his family
>yes
>I said watch this
>I tipped it
>he's looking at me funny
>I kicked him in the dick, spilled his drink, and ran off

>>675636567
Hello new friend

>>675622081
Faggot.Beat down class faggot.
You realize,you fucking moron that if everyone was like you there would be no house parties?
Ignorant asshole.Kicked the shittttt out of punks like you in hs.

>>675636567
Newfag

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>>675637308
>mrw full sentence
>mrw proper punctuation

>college friend's 18th birthday at his landwhale older sister's place
>party's ok, everyone drunk and high, a bunch of his other friends show up and some of them are pricks, causing tension between their group and ours
>friend's landwhale sister thinks my group's instigating the bad atmosphere, starts trying to lecture us
>me and a bunch of friends go into the kitchen when everyone else is outside
>rub balls/cocks/asses on literally all the food laid out by landwhale sister
>we spit and fart on some of the food
>one of my friends dribbles a little piss into the dips
>we carry on getting drunk upstairs
>one of the douchebags from the other group comes upstairs and tries to intimidate us and fails horribly
>he hands me his beer and says "hold this while i go to the toilet, if you drink any i'll knock you out"
>drink the whole beer in front of him and hand him the empty can back
>douchebag is embarrassed and instead of hitting me, starts pushing a friend of mine who's had too much to drink and on the verge of passing out
>we all square up to him and tell him to fuck off
>he pushes my friend one last time and scurries off downstairs
>as we're about to give chase, my friend he pushed leans over the banister and spews a fuckload of vomit down the stairs
>some of it lands on the douchebag but he carries on running, the stairs and floor are caked in vomit
>we go downstairs, carefully dodging the vomit and are met by friend's landwhale sister
>we notice she's eating some of the food we farted/spat/wiped ball sweat on and we laugh uncontrollably
>turns out the douchebag told her we threatened to stab him (we didn't) and that she's gonna call the police if we don't leave
>we go to leave, douchebag reappears behind landwhale and insults us, friend of mine says to come and fight him outside and douchebag runs away lol
>get our whole group together and leave
>just as we're exiting i turn around and see douchebag eating the dips my friend pissed in
>we kek and leave

>>675622081
inbred mongoloid autist

>>675622081
this is pasta, saw it a few days ago

>>675634762
same here, i do my best to not get so wasted that i throw up, but if i do get too fucked up i always have an escape route planned. as soon as i start to feel the initial sickness coming on i make my way to the bathroom or the street.

i've seen one too many people throwing up over their friend's sofas/carpets/beds and killing the atmosphere as well as being a shitty friend

>I once taped a fork to the ceiling of a microwave

I was a dumb shit, that could have burnt a house down.

>>675622367
>Sage in none of the fields

>>675622081
>underage drinking and cocai
see.. you sir are a red crested douchebird, in it's natural habitat it is a lonely solitary creature with no social training. Once in a while these creatures find their ways in with other more sociable birds... and they very quickly feel the need to destroy all that they do not have themselves. Really quite typical. You red crested douchebird.

>>675637804
and of COURSE there's an indian in the drunk thread

>>675622081
>everyone except few my friends were in sauna
>one of the girls I didn't know (neither did she) had a little camera with her
>see camera on the table
>snatch the camera and go to facilities
>take a picture of your balls and dick
>put the camera back in place
>chuckle at the thought of her skimming the pictures someday and wonder whose balls are these
She still has no clue

>>675637808
landwhale's friends are a bunch of niggas

Probably not the most exciting story

>Be me, 17
>At my friends house party
>At least 50 people there
>Everyone's quite pissed
>Me and my mate decide we want weed
>We can both drive but we don't have our cars at the party
>Decide to take the hosts car
>Drive for about 20 minutes to pick up weed
>On way back, phone call from host
>"You better bring my car back right now" or some shit
>Drive back
>Park it round the corner
>Piss on it
>Throw his keys over his garden fence
>Gather some more mates and went to smoke weed for the rest of the night

breddy good night

>>675630610
Like most of /b/, same.

>>675638342
Nope. You have no idea how microwaves work, nigger

>>675639028
funnily enough landwhale's friends were all middle class white kids, and my friends were a mix of working class white/black/punjabi kids

>>675638135
Few months ago

>>675624820
why didnt you just leave rofl

the golden rule when hosting is only invite people that you actually know, and your friends

so

>your friends
>your friends friends
>NOT your friends friends boyfriend and his 2 bros who you've never met

You need to get people who can vouch for eachother that they're cool, it's your fucking responsibility as a host

>>675622081
nothing like that because im not an asshole....iv broken or dropped the occasional thing

>>675639452
If you would've stole my car to go buy weed at my party you would leave the party in an ambulance, and I'm not trying to be edgy.

What did the host do?

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i used to fuck a girl who loved to cause mayhem at house parties .
she'd come over sometimes while her boyfriend was away after school.

once the door would close she'd almost instantly get naked. most times she'd put on her favorite song and start sucking. then she would cry. her tears and makeup would drip down her face onto my dick. its surprising how cold tears are. eventually i finally asked her what was wrong. in between licks she told me that her favorite song was also her bfs favorite song. so even though she loved hearing it and it totally got her pussy wet, it also made her think about the fact that she was cheating on her boyfriend. i dont think i ever came harder down somebodies throat then right after she told me that. she was beautiful. we dont hang out anymore. wanna get lunch?


this was the song: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=iPrnduGtgmc

>>675638135
Yesterday

>>675635422
Good job

>>675624323
You're funny, faggot.

>>675625059
AFFECT

>>675629871
>savage af

>>675635823
>be me 21
>at a party in some douchebag's house
>get hammered and decide to have some fun
>throw a crane in the pool
>it took a crane to get it out

>>675641467
Nice

>>675641467
>be me 21
>at a party in some douchebag's crane
>get hammered and decide to have some fun
>throw a crane in the crane
>it took a crane to get it out

>>675622081
This is why I threw exactly 1 house party.
Great fun,but not worth the aftermath.

>>675622081
have u ever left a house party early or with someone?

>Be me 19
>Wrote 1, 2 and 4 on 3 mattresses
>Let them go in a school
>Threw a crane in the pool
>Took a pig to get it out

>be me, crane
>at a construction site in some douchebags crane
>get drunk and decide to crane
>crane a crane in the crane
>took a crane to crane it out

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>>675635823

>Wrote 1, 2 and 4 on 3 cranes
>Let them go in a mattress
>Put the pool in the pig
>Took Dylan Klebold to get it out

>>675641800
>crane crane crane
>crane crane crane crane crane crane crane
>crane crane crane crane crane crane crane crane
>crane crane crane crane crane crane
>crane crane crane crane crane crane crane

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I got stabbed at a party about 4 weeks ago

>>675643168
OP?

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>>675643168

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< 64 > My present :) http://www17.zippyshare.com/v/eYapRNjL/file.html

>>675643233
You have big penis

>>675622081
Youre soooooo cool

Fucking loser

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>>675643203
Nah not op just a random anon

I stole all of a guys forks once, never heard about what happened but i'm pretty sure he was confused AF

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>>675625840

Implying /b/'s users are ordinarily associated with kindness and courtesy.

Also, tits.

>>675622081
>piss all over the bathroom
>went to a room upstairs with some friends, blocked the door with a bookshelf, broke the fire alarm and smoked in there
> any dumb parties I went to I would take some shit and leave (bottles, bud, full pizzas, etc)
> break the party up by popping off my friends gun
> beat up some guy tweaking out (a few people in the party helped because he hit a girl)

>>675638864
The only non autistic and mildly amusing thing in this thread

>>675643281
thanks man

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Random broke college student memories:

Stole a Ipod Nano.
Stole beer, bottles of vodka, and random kitchen appliances I needed: Blender, Can opener ( expensive ones),

Stole cool magnets on fridge or I left incredibly rude messages on chalk boards or with those magnets of letters.
Stole batteries out of remotes.

Broke a screen door running through it once.

Found the kids room, and jerked off on the carpet.

Broke / threw in the trash a bunch of toys on purpose once because the hosts kids were little shits.

Pissed all over the place like OP if it was a shitty bar too.

>>675640041
It definitely could have. You fucking retard.

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>>675635422
>smashed expensive bottles of wine

You're a fuckig faggot

>>675622081
Fake and gay desu desu

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>>675643168
>>675643233
>>675643366
heres a screenshot of my friends snapchat story from the party

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>>675643923
heres the knife that did it

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>>675622081
threw a grill full of cooking steaks down one story off the deck into the hot tub, no joke

>>675643923
What are u stabbed ?

>>675641944
kek