>>675603363 Life is way too boring for me,popping some pills and drinking makes it go away,so yes,it's worth it,but not in the long run >>675603424 >>675603432 Red wine,just one liter,my tolerance has dropped
>>675603534 I was on so many pills I couldn't get a high to last longer than 20 minutes. Felt like shit all the time.....but the parties man, I don't have a single good story of a time I was sober. I just had a kid so it's a little harder to fuck off with responsibilities, but sometimes I just want to leave to get some smokes and never come back
>>675604242 I used to take about 10 benodryls at a time. I was always super into muscle relaxers. One time I was going out bar hopping and didn't have money for drinks so I crushed up my last 10 xany bars and just scar faced the mound of powder....I don't remember much but I think I raped a bitch that night
>>675604789 It's a convo with one psychologist,but it was in a group back when i was hospitalized
I was sober for two months,but everything i felt during those months i bottled up,so now i'm drinking to get it out
My current meetings with my psych i don't mention drugs,only aclohol,but i do meth sometimes as well as codeine
I'm a deadbeat and i'm so fucked,but i feel like it comes from my thoughts like i just found out how horrible life actually is,all of my expiriences aren't real and i don't feel like they should be that,but when high or drunk they become real
I was on antidepressants,but they cut em off because it's not a chemical disbalance it's just my though process
I hate myself everytime i do drugs,but only after or during comedown
>>675605050 Jesus christ man, find a damn hobby you enjoy like fishing or hiking. Life is too wonderful to spend all your time being an edgelord because you can't stop taking drugs and drinking. Theyre the reason you don't feel happiness, theyve completely rewired your brain and your dopamine receptors, and its why you cant feel happy without them. Suck it up, quit the shit, and let your brain heal itself so you can find some semblance of normalcy.
>>675605496 Thanks for your empathy anon,i'm not used to this on /b/ i feel okay,i hope you are as well >>675605564 The main reason i started all this shit is cause i felt horrible,it's just a sympthom
I've hit rock bottom,but i can't kill myself,i care too much for my family and friends.
My mom used to tell me back then every time i drink and i say something it's what i really feel,i really feel sad,but i ignore it
I hide emotions and bottle em up cause im afraid of getting hurt,I never cry unless drunk,which i am now :(
>>675606467 It's not the best part of your life, don't let anyone tell you that. Virtually no-one feels secure in themselves and knows what they want to do with themselves at your age. One thing I can guarantee you is: you are setting the tone for your adulthood right now, and you need to start doing things that you enjoy. Nature is fucking awesome.. hike, swim, fish, whatever you like, but exercise is a natural antidepressant (it sounds fucking cliche, but its true), and doing it in nature is doubly good.
Honestly. Why do you keep this up? You're a burden on all of their lives and while they might be sad a bit they are better off without you. Stop being the dead weight holding people you claim to love from their happiness.
I've fallen off the wagon too many times to list. I am an older man. I used to do a lot of drugs and drank a lot in the disco era. I did blow. I did acid and nearly ruined my brain until my first gal was pregnant with our child.
I sobered up off everything cold turkey back then. I had seen certain good friends die and I couldn't risk that. What would I have said to my infant kid? "Now it's time for daddy to throw up on you for a change".
For 20 years I was sober. And I did a lot. I married someone else, had more kids. Worked, worked, worked. And then one lonely day in the last decade I fell off the wagon. I was working in Alaska and away from my family. So I started drinking. Going home did not help. I hid it for a long time. Vodka etc. but the alcohol smell did come when I sweated.
I was caught. I did some fucked up shit. My wife divorced me and took all my money with her, after all those years. I put myself through rehabilitation and I did come clean again, but I needed folks around me. Fell in love and married yet again a lady I thought loved me, but turned out to be a shallow bitch.
When I was diagnosed with a neurological condition in early 2014, I was fed meds that made me feel drunk and stoned. I thought what the fuck? I was very close to losing my sobriety yet again. The missus wanted to throw me into a facility. So I disappeared.
Most everybody thinks I am dead. But I am not. I now reside in the most isolated city on the planet. No meds. No crap. Yes in my travels I did slip a few times but now I can finally have a glass of wine and leave it at one glass.
Sorry for the long post, but basically what I am trying to say is that there is hope out there. Even if you do have to fake your own death and get away.
I have many regrets where alcohol was at the root of my actions, including domestic violence. When my partner left me, I fell deeper into alcoholism. I could sink a 2lt bottle of JD in one sitting, no problem. At parties, alcohol turned me into a complete clown, so often I would belittle my ex in front of her friends, or flirt with other girls, or just say embarrassing stupid shit. 7 years she put up with it, I'll never know love like that again. She adored me, I could see it in her eyes during our intimate moments.
Eventually when people invited her to parties, they would ask that she didn't bring me. I used to read her txts.
It's been five years since she left me, I gave up booze during that time but found I still needed a crutch, so I turned to pot and smoked up everyday. 6 months I had a breakdown, ended up in a facility. I'm out now and recovering, but I'm on a lot of valium and seroqual as I continue treatment. One day I'm going to be completely clean, see what it's like to walk without a crutch. The wagon sucks, but being on it is better than being dragged behind it by the feet.
>>675605564 True to that. I got drunk last week st. Patricks day and got a DUI. It's been a week and I'm about to drink again as it's my day off work. The past week I played video games all night every night, keeps my mind occupied when I'm lonely. Or I watch a bunch of anime.
Please support this website by donating Bitcoins to 16mKtbZiwW52BLkibtCr8jUg2KVUMTxVQ5 If a post contains copyrighted or illegal content, please click on that post's [Report] button and fill out a post removal request
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows an archive of their content. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.