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>40 GBP >10 more until mommy gives me a tendie feast >need

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 110
Thread images: 80

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>40 GBP
>10 more until mommy gives me a tendie feast
>need 10 more GBP, how will I do this..
>I know! Maybe if I clean out my piss and shit jugs mommy will give me more GBP!!!!
>gather my festering hoard of shit and piss filled jugs.
>nowhere to put them...
>I know!
>hide them all in the oven
>show mommy my cleaned out room
>"w-what a good boy! H-here's 10 GBP f-for my good boy!" She says with tears of happiness in her eyes
>tendie feast here we come!
>mommy preheats oven
>oh no
>piss and shit jugs explode inside the oven
>kitchen caked in piss, shit and maggots
>no tendie feast
How can she abuse her big boy like that? Take that bitch to court, a judge will make her give you free GBP
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>90 gbp
>60 away from a shiny new $5 steam gift card
>clean my room of all visible piss bottles
>discard all rotting hot pockets
>even throw away my ripped fedora
>mommy comes home
>sees my room
> 5 gbp because it's not completely cleaned
> mommy says a job would get me a thousand gbp
>I snap
>I hit mommy in the face
>she cowards in fear
>I demand a thousand gbp or I do it again!
>she begins crying
>next day there is an eviction notice on my door

she deserved to be hit and now I lost all my gbp and I have to go live somewhere else on her dime?

How am I the bad guy?

Stupid mommy, I'm gonna hit her again if she doesn't change her mind by din din
Ouch. You and OP should move in together
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>Mommy got a new Daddy and kicked me out
>Live with gwammy
>Gwams spoils her little boy rotten! hee hoo
>Buys me tendies with her social security checks
>Picks up all my piss jugs in the morning
>Life can't get any better than this! I don't even have to spend GBP... but don't tell gwamma that guu!
>"Gwamummy baby boy wants tendies and Lagers gaaa ga"
>"I was just on the phone with mummy and she told me your GBP balance. You've been a very bad boy. You're going to have to save up your GBP. Why dont you wash the dishes for me? I'm old, and tired"
>Shit my pants in shock
>How could mummy betray me
>"I understand you're upset anon bu-"
>Take globs of shit from my deadpool nighttime undies and start rubbing them on the dishes
>Gwamma looks really pale
>This was never something she should have learned
>Rinse dishes with the water from my whoopsie doo
>Gwamma faints
>I put her in bed
>take a final greasy shit next to her on the pillow where gwampie used to sleep
>Lock the door
>I sign her checks every month now

Guess who gets free GDP from the government? I bet she'd want her little boy to dine on tendies until he's aaaallllll full
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>Wake up at 4PM from napsy time
>Glance over at my Good Boy Points scoreboard. Fuck yes, 25 pointsies!
>Time to play some video gameys
>Waddle downstairs to living room in my jammy wammies
>Mom has her book club over, occupying valuable living room space
>"Anon, we're having our weekly book meeting here, can't you go play in the playroom for a little while?"
>No bitch, I saved up my Good Boy Points to play my Weegee game
>"O-okay, Anon, but please try to keep it down."
>Of course mom, I'm your good boy!
>Load up New Luigi Bros. U
>Hear mom in the background: "A-as I was saying, I think Jane Eyre..."
>The game starts
>Start chanting Luigi catchphrases
>Absorbed in the game
>World 1 boss, so toughy tough!
>Start farting from the concentration
>Smells like rotten meat
>Sniff fartsy farts and giggle
>Made it to world 2!
>Fart out a hot burning one
>Hear one of the bookwomen gag
>"I'm sorry Anon's Mom, I think I've left the lights on at home. I really have to go!"
>Hear her run out while gagging
>Look over at mom and her friendsies
>They're all looking at me disgusted
>"Come on, Anon, why don't you go to the playroom for a little bit. I think you've had enough tv timey."
>"Please, Anon, we can talk about this later."
>Bitch has got to know when to stop.
>Rub Wii U Gamepad over my wee wee and get a semi
>Tummy tums starts growling
>Start violently farting and shitting in my diapies
>The smell is horrific
>Women start throwing up while scrambling for the door
>Mom starts crying
>Completely broken down
>It's just the two of us now
>Mom just sits there, staring blankly at me
>I laugh and roll around
>Mommy, now make me tendies please?
>No response
>No wonder dad left us, you useless whore
>Throw gamepad at her face, breaking her cheekbone
>She goes up and makes my tendies
>Dine like a literal king
This thread gave me cancer
What the literal fuck, I knew you guys were weird but woooooooow.
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>wake up at 3PM and roll out of my racecar bed
>piss jugs are all full, have to use the toilet like some subhuman normie
>waddle downstairs to find mummy for my wakey-wakey tendies and bakey
>lights off, nobody there
>there is a note on the refrigerator
>"Pumpkin, Dytravius and I have gone to the movies for the afternoon I made some of your favorite chicky tendies just heat them up in the microwave if you get hungy for num-nums. Love you, Mom"
>fucking cunt has let my tendies get cold and mushy
>and she expects me to heat them up myself like a slave
>she will fucking learn today
>change out of my cloth diaper into a disposable and hit the road
>spend the entire walk to the cinema filling my diapey with poo poo
>arrive at the theater parking lot and coat myself in a thin layer of pee pee and poo
>brace myself and enter the lobby
>let loose my battle cry
>pull handfuls of poop out of my diaper and fling them at random
>staff tries to stop me but I am too quick and too slippery
>entire venue is being evacuated
>navigate my way to 10 Cloverfield Lane
>mummy and new daddy are in the front row
>covered in poo and pee, two steaming loads in each hand
>mummy's face is a mixture of shock and indescribable terror
>walk slowly towards her while chanting "..tendies...tendies...tendies..."
>our eyes are locked
>as if from far away I hear new daddy say "ayo wut tha fuck this nigga-"
>cease my low chanting with a final "TENDIEEEEES" and smash the handfuls of rancid diarrhea onto either side of her head
>bring my piss-soaked face right up to hers
>her ears are filled with my poo, eardrums are ruptured, and eyes are nearly blinded by a mixture of tears and more poo
>say very slowly and clearly
>"Don't you ever fuck with my chicken tenders again."

And the best part is the dumb whore was too scared to even take away any of my good boy points
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>Wake up at 6pm after a particularly exhausting Runescape marathon
>tummy is making hungry noises
>navigate my way out of my room through the piles of weewee jugs and trash
>make my way downstairs, peek into the living room
>mummy and new daddy are doing a special backwards hug on the sofa like uncle phil showed me once
>new daddy is making funny sounds like a steam train
>don't care, hungry
>mummy screams, new daddy swears and nearly falls off the sofa like a silly
>says to mummy "why is that retard still living here, isn't he like 30"
>I don't like being called a retard
>not since the incident with the toddler in mcdonalds
>feel my inner wolf break loose
>let out a mighty howl and try to rip off my creeper hoodie
>not strong enough in my hunger-weakened state
>new daddy is laughing, I'll fucking show him
>pull down my crusty cargo shorts and grab my tingly tummy tendie
>start spinning like a beyblade and weeing as hard as I can
>mummy is screaming and crying, new daddy swears even louder and tries to grab me
>dodge him with my veteran CS reflexes but fall because I'm dizzy from malnourishment
>new daddy gets me in a headlock and starts punching me in the tummy
>he doesn't know I've been saving a satisfying tendie-and-dew-fuelled doodie for later
>bum explodes like a fat man in fallout 3 (I don't play 4 because it doesn't have my waifu Moira)
>new daddy is covered in doodie, he looks like a swamp monster
>he lets go and starts vomiting
>mummy is on the phone, I think she's calling 911, new daddy is trying to make her put the phone down and shouting something about "the meth you dumb bitch"
>crawl to the kitchen, everything is spinning and I feel faint
>"MUMMY MAKE TENDIES" I manage to shout before blacking out
>wake up chained to my bed with a plate of tendies on the bedside table
>new daddy is gone

great success
I fucking love these stories
I currently won the GBLottery and earned 500 gbp, new daddies are cool
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>playing some call of dooties tree
>my belly starts to rumble
>"Mommy I need some Tendieeeeeessss."
>"Anon, for the last time, you're on a diet and can't have fried food!"
>"But momeeeeeee! I have enough GBPeeeee!!"
>no response
>wait a few minutes
>Hear the "bump bump" of mommy walking down the stairs
>a tray slides through my flap-flap on my basement door
>mommy had it installed because "she couldn't bear seeing me"
>remove the neck of my poop jug from my anus
>been sitting on my poop jug as a chair all day
>it makes my peepee feel tingly
>wobble over my bedroom door
>look at the tray
>so taken aback by the horror on my tray that I fall over
>grab my hulk fists and start yelling "IM.... ANGRY"
>just like my hero, saitama, knock the basement door off of it's hinges in one punch
>start hobbling up the stairs
>have to stop on the 5th step because exhausted
>take a nap on the stairs for about 30 minutes
>continue making my journey up the last 3 steps
>get to the top, reminds me of rocky
>roll up to mommy, poopy butt leaving trails on the carpet
>"hello anon how were your tend-"
>roll straight into her legs, knocking her to the ground
>Start rolling on her like a steamroller
>hear her bones cracking from my beautiful curves
>activate "Muddy Lemonade" protocol
>start pissing and shitting as i roll over her
>I halt
>she crawls to the kitchen her broken legs dragging behind her
>see her put some tic-tacs out of an orange bottle into the milk for the breading
>I hate mint flavor
>slither up behind her like a snake that has just eaten a elephant whole
>get mommy's head and bend it backwards so the back touches her butt
>she's limp
>have peepee fun friction time with her mouth
>roll back to basement and start playing CSGO
I need more of this, bump.
>Birthday last week
>Mama got me the counterstrike source cake I wanted
>Get a card from grammy
>"Enjoy your birthday, sorry I couldn't be there sweety, I hope you can use this"
>A lot of weird green bills in there
>Mamas eyes get big
>Ask her what these are
>"It's money, I use it to buy your chicken and videogames"
>"Can I trade it for good boy points?"
>"Yes you can, of course you can"
>then new daddy walks into the room
>smells like smoke and adult apple juice
>slaps mamas butt
>sees the money
>"I need this for the poker game tonight"
>Mama says no, I traded it with her
>He slaps her faces butt now
>Mama screams
>I'm sitting there eating my cake
>Ask her when dinner is ready
>She says I gotta help her
>take off all my clothes and jump on the table
>Press my willy in the cake and run to mama screaming at the top of my lungs flailing my arms
>hit mama in the belly
>hear a loud oomf
>new daddy looks at me
>I look at him
>I get down on my knees and grab his crotch
>he goes back and asks me what I'm doing
>I just wanted to show him I can be mama too
>Run at him and bite him in his crotch
>even though he wore pants he dropped to the ground crying
>now everyone was crying
>my diaper has been full the whole time
>put some cake in diaper since mama isnt changing it and feed it to new daddy
>new daddy never came back after the poker game
>mama made me chicken tendies on a pizza that night
>she didn't even charge my good boy points
>best 40th birthday ever
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>Wake up at 8 PM after my nappy-wappy
>Remembered I've been a really good boy today
>Go to check my Good Boy Point (GBP) whiteboard
>30 GBP
>Enough to go in the playroom AND get a tendie meal with ranch dipping sauce
>Wade through my piss bottles and shit jugs to get to my door
>Waddle over to mummy's room
>"Mummy! Mummy! I've been a good boy and I want to go to the pwaywoom!"
>Mummy checks my chart and leads me to the playroom
>As she unlocks the playroom, she tells me that she'll get my tendies ready
>I quickly remind her, "Don't fowget the wanch!!"
>rush into the playroom and fall over headfirst onto the racecar mat.
>begin playing with my blocks
>One hour later
>Door opens and she has my tendies, except...
>No ranch dip
>"y-you never asks for ranch, sweetums..."
>"d-don't worry Anon, I'll go right back down to get your ranch..."
>Throw one of my blocks at her and it hits her straight in the eye
>That's gonna leave a bruise.
>Lean in close to her ear
>She leaves crying
>Notice I made some wawa in my nappy.
>Comes back with the ranch
>Changes me while I enjoy my ranch-dipped tendies
>She's still crying
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Give me, give me, chicken tendies
Be they crispy, or from Wendy's
Spend my hard-earned good boy points
On Kid's Meal ball pit burger joints

Mommy lifts me to the car
To find me tendies near and far
Enjoy my tasty tendie treats
In comfy big boy booster seats

McDonald's, Hardee's, Popeye's, Cane's
But of my tendies none remains
She tries to make me take a nappy
But sleeping doesn't make me happy

Tendies are the only food
That puts me in the napping mood
I'll scream, I'll shout, I'll make a fuss
I'll scratch, I'll bite, I'll even cuss!

Tendies are my heart's desire
Fueled by raging, hungry fire
Mommy sobs, and wails, and cries
But tears aren't tendies, nugs or fries

My good boy points were fairly earned
To buy the tendies that I've yearned
But there's no tendies on my plate
Did mommy think that I'd just ate?!

Tendies, tendies, get them now!
You fat, ungrateful, sluggish sow!

I screech while hurling into her eyes
My foul-smell bowel-dwelling diaper surprise
For she who is unpooped on is she who remembers:
Never forget my chicken tenders
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>wake up at noon
>had accident in sleep which I rolled around in
>grab cum-towel off nightstand and do my best wipe it from my folds of fat
>tummy gurgles loudly, so hungry
>plop out of bed, navigate through shit jugs and piss bottles in my room
>waddle downstairs to check GBP board
>just enough Good Boy Points for some tendies and sauce
>legs buckle under own weight
>roll myself into the living room where mummy is watching her favorite soap opera
>"mummy mummy I have enough Good Boy Points for some tendies!"
>she turns to me with the most disgusting look on her face while I lay flat on the ground stuggling to get up
>"s-sure honey, le-let me just get some tendies for you"
>she struggles to go to the kitchen without vomitting from the smell and sight of my putrid, feces and semen covered body
>she pulls the tendies out of the freezer after letting the oven heat up as she begins to cry into the sink
>I roll over and pull myself up to my high chair that starts to creak as I sit down
>the tendies are done and she puts them on my plate
>she can't hold back the vomit as I open my mouth to eat some tendies and vomits all over my plate
>I can't let these tendies go to waste, so I eat them along with the vomit
>"yummy wummy tendies in my tummy, thanks mummy"
>high-chair finally breaks from my heft
>mum runs away to her room, sobbing uncontrollably, ashamed of her baby boy
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>wake-up at 2PM
>Subconsciously shit in my MLP jammies while sleeping
>scream at the top of my lungs "MUUUUUUUUUUMMMYYYYYYYYYY"
>mummy silently lurks into the doorway to my room
>"y-y-yes, dear?"
>mummy silent weeps to herself and walks over to my adult-sized crib with a fresh new pair of magic school-bus jammies
>start kicking and flailing my arms and legs because my tummy rumbles for tendies
>start to screech while mummy tries her best to not have another mental breakdown session
>"Anon d-dear, you've already used all of the 20 piece bag from last night in one dinner, I-I...I..have to go get m-
>spring up and smash my body into hers, she screams and starts sobbing
>she pushes me out of the way as she runs downstairs
>yell "OUCHIES, YOU HURT YOUR GOOD LITTLE BOY" and start crying frantically
>chase after her, mummy locks herself in the pantry
>start beating on the pantry while screaming and crying "WHY DON'T YOU LOVE YOUR GOOD LITTLE BOY"
>Mummy is weeping loudly enough for the neighbors to hear
>cry even louder and accidentally shit new jammies
>use up all of the engine I had for the day crying
>crawl over to my scooby-doo playroom and roll up into a ball and fall asleep
>wake up at 9 PM, tucked in bed with clean jammies
>note from mummy: "I'm sorry anon, I never meant to hurt you, always be my good little boy! I love you!"
>fresh plate of tendies on trash-littered computer desk
>shovel them into face
>fall asleep satisfied
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Best, Thread, Ever

Take my Sides
>>No wonder dad left us, you useless whore
My sides
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>sitting in room
>finish plate of tendies mummy just made for me
>hmm, I want some more!
>decide to play a prank on mummy (might cost some gbp, but fun is fun)
>rig one of my pee pee bottles to pour on whoever opens my door
>position my wittle bottom towards the door as well and pull down my diaper
>bang my steel drum to get her attention (at 30 gbp I simply had to!)
>Hear mummy coming
>A grin grows across my face as she draws near, my eyes crinkle and a "teehee!" slips out
>Mummy enters the room
>my pee pee pours in a steady stream on her head
>At the same time I begin blasting her with my nasty poo poo, coating her in a thick baby waby green layer!
>heehee! messy mummy messy mummy I say rhymically as she is covered in my nasty
>She doesn't say a word as my prank plays out
>finish my poo, turn and sit bare bottomed on the floor, leaving a wittle poopy stain
>mummy, did you wike my joke? ga ga goo goo!
>I begin giggling and drooling while slapping my wittle feetsies together as applause
>She does say anything
>Mummy, waugh at my wittle joke!
>I can see tears running through my pee pee and poo poo on her face
>Mummy, you don't want to upset your perfect wittle boy do you?
>She is still fighting
>My eyes sharpen and I drop my voice do a gravely, gutteral tone
>Listen you normie cunt, laugh at your sons prank or I'll kill you and kill myself, I'll drag you into the bath and slit your wrists while I fuck your fat whore ass
>Punch her in the face for good measure, give her black eye
>Mummy sees reason and lets out a chuckle
>heehee! I think that deserves 20 gbp for being such a funny and creative prank, don't you mummy!?
>She does a sort of weird nod and walks out of my playpen
GBP is too easy to get, even when being a naughty boy! She even took me out for more tendies, at no cost!
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>Settling down in my man-palace after a hard night of teaching scammers a lesson in Runescape. (You're welcome.)
>It's been a bit hot lately, so the Coke shit-jugs are starting to ferment. I can see gas-bubbles forming, and the bottles are expanding. Mommy's been getting lazy. I resolve to have a stern word with her.
>Feeling a bit peckish, am still only on my second dinner after all.
>Check my chart and see that I have 25 good boy points saved up! That's only 5 short of a whole box of tendies!
>I hear a glass smash, and a sob from outside my door. Obviously, in her rush to tend to me, the wench has dropped whatever beverage she was preparing for me. I scream louder.
>"MOMMY!! GET IN HERE NOW!". I start throwing piss bottles at the wall. One goes my window, and into the neighbour's house. I don't care. Mommy will fix it.
>All this exertion wears me out, no strength left. Lose control of my sphincter temporarily and blast shit all down the back of my limited edition Final Fantasy jammies.
>Mommy comes in and looks around the room, her face is all scrunched up, clearly distressed at how much she has displeased me.
>"I want tendies! Now!" I point in the direction of the kitchen, and expect to see her much dutifully away to prepare my nourishing reward.
>Mommy sighs and looks at the chart "Anon, you know the rules. You still need 5 more GBP for a box of chicken tenders."
>"They're called TENDIES you stupid BITCH!" I scream as I lunge towards her. I go to fetch my little league bat so I can bash her head in, but the fates cause me to miss by a TINY bit.
>"Sigh, clean up all these bottles, Anon, and I'll give you the last 5 points."
>Before I deliver the fatal blow, she walks out, and closes the door.
>In a weakened state, unable to continue the fight. I decide to clean up the jugs.
>Go to collect them all, too many for one trip. I refuse to take multiple trips, it's undignified, so I pile them all on my blanket and wrap them up.
>Shit and piss jugs leaking everywhere. No bottletops on any of the MTN Dew bottles (I keep all bottlecaps in my Fallout Limited Edition Vault while their value increases!)
>Put the poopy-pile in the secret area under my bed! :^)
>Another glass shatters outside the door. How stupid IS this woman? I hear another, even louder sob.
>Mommy comes in, a bullet rolls in past her foot. Maybe she was buying me that new pistol I wanted! (I'm prestige in CoD)
>She looks around, checking for poopy-bottles and pissy-wissy jugs. She doesn't know our little secret! :^)
>Tendies already on a plate! She's semi-redeemed herself!
>Ready for my reward!
>"Sorry, Anon. I still see one bottle." Mom points, and holds the plate out of reach. I see one piss-bottle I've missed! Blast!
>"N-No mom! That's MTN Dew." I also point at the clear-ish yellow liquid.
>"Oh really? Then drink some." She says.
>Horrified at the idea, but really need those GBP! Still too exhausted from talking, and the shit is starting to pool around my feet.
>I walk over and pick up the bottle. Looking down in disgust, but trying to hide it, I take a swig.
>Immediately feel the overpowering urge to throw up. Try to keep it down, but can't. Still too tired from the battle with mom earlier.
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>Start throwing up all over my room. Lurch forward and trip over my modified Pinkie Pie plush toy with the realistic pussy.
>Vomit hits my mom in the eyes and she starts screaming and vomiting too. The tendies go flying in the air, and mom smashes into everything.
>Fall back onto the bed and the shit jugs burst out from underneath. Shit and piss everywhere.
>Mom slips over in the shit, unable to stand up. Eventually she crawls out. Crying. Probably in disgust at how lazy she is.
>Tendies land on the floor in a pool of liquid shit, and piss.
>Not wasting 30GBP after all that.
>Sit down for my meal.
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Tendies, tendies on my plate
Never early, never late
At twelve o'clock its lunchie time
And mommy serves them on a dime

Mommy cooks them in the oven
To show me extra special lovin
Add honey mustard sauce to this
To send me into tendie bliss

Good Boy Points are thus required
To get the tendies I desire
And if I wish to go to Wendy's
I must turn in points to get my tendies

I turn in points that I've compiled
From huggies, kissies, and not running wild
"What a good boy you've been today
Let's go to Wendy's so that I may repay"

"But you've been eating way too much chicken
You're getting a burger, no screamin or kickin"
This makes me mad, this makes me bitter
This makes me unleash the contents of my shitter

I stuff it in her mouth and punch her in the head
Until I am sure my dear mommy is dead
I steal her purse so that I can have money
To buy tendies and mustard with honey

I purchase the tendies from the nice lady
(Although these tendies are nuggies, which I find quite lazy)
And as I devour my fried chicken treats
I realize that life has never been so sweet
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>be me
>be first day of high school
>mom is dropping me off today
>she gets my rolling backpack full of fruit-by-the-foot out of the trunk
>"are you sure you'll be okay here anon?"
>"yes mommy i am fucking fine"
>have one thing on my mind
>barely make it to the classroom before collapse in desk
>health class
>skinny fucking normies are staring at me
>obviously never played WoW
>next few classes breeze by
>finally lunch time
>shove my way through the line
>something smells familiar
>holy fuck i cant waddle fast enough as the line moves forward
>lunch lady says "hi sweetie what would you like?"
>"how many good boy points do tendies cost, slut?"
>"excuse me, what did you call me? and what are good boy points?"
>ignore cumdumpster
>i grab 5 trays of tendies and waddle to the condiment station
>grab 10 containers of ranch dip
>take 3 bottles of coke and guzzle one on the way to lay down
>lay on floor
>i eat one tray of tendies and i get the urge to pee pee and poo poo
>piss in coke bottle and shit in the tendie tray
>entire lunch room is staring at me
>jaws dropped
>i fucking hate normies
>principal sprints over and yells at me
>he leaves for help
>shove the remaining tendies in my pockets and guzzle down my cokes
>principal and football coaches return and slowly hoist me up
>it took 5 of them
>poo poo the most ever in my life all over the principals shoes
>maintenance brings a golf cart with a bed on it to drive me to the office
>parked outside because they don't want to even try to bring me inside
>obviously normie principal tells me how disgusting i am
>i'm expelled from school and he calls my mom
>mom shows up furious and takes me home
>in the car she tells me
>"anon, I am taking away 500 GBP"
>"but i only have 100 right now you dumb whore"
>"so now you have -400 GBP"
>fucking cunt
>we get home and she sends me to my room
>mfw more tendies in my pocket than i could have gotten in one week
>great success
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>4 am, happy tummy full of tendies
>right in middle of my 5 nights at freddy's session
>suddenly my pee pee feels funny and tickles from the inside
>she doesn't respond, she's been eating a lot of sleep-candies since when second daddi left (she promised she'll share with me soon enough yay! )
>i'm forced to waddle out of my 80 GBP gaming chair and go in her room while screaming "PEEEEEE PPEEEEEEEEEEEE FIZZY MUMMY HELP BABYYY GUU"
>the stress of this causes my belly to relax and I let out a steaming brown log in my XXL diapey (i'm mummys big boy, she always says that :))
>i lay in her bed while she looks at me in horror and disgust
>"mummy my pee pee feels tickly, need pee pee funny dance"
> tears are falling on her cheeks, she closes her eyes and starts taking my diaper off
>the smell of 2 days old diarrhea smeared on my hairy asscheeks makes her gag
> i let out a teehee while saying "mummy belly burp!"
>then, while sobbing, she grabs my pee pee stick and starts going up and down
>my smegma crusted foreskin hardly retreats while tear drops fall on my belly
>i let out my funny-happy milk on her hand "OOHUUHHHHHHU PEE PEE IS GLAD, I MADE IT FOR MUMMYY"
> "you're my special little baby boy, thank you for your gift to mommy" says her, while becoming red in face from happiness
> i leave her room and the diaper on her bed and go back to my gaming session
>the next day she's still tired and sleeping on her bed
i wonder when she'll wake up, maybe she's preparing a surprise for babby boy gu? so many GBP await me for not waking her up!!
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>Wednesday afternoon
>tugging it to Nick Jr all day long
>Finish squeezing big boy gooey gunk from my winker
>Mumsies comes home from work
>Poo poo in my diapie due to excitement
>Earned 70 good boy points earlier today by promising not to empty my piss bottles on mumsie's bed while she was at work
>Expect delicious tendies immediately
>Squat walk downstairs with full diaper of excitement
>No good smell
>Mumsie looks upset
>Anon you're 43, I talked with a friend about getting you a job
>Fucking normie mom
>Remove my shit filled diaper and wield it like a sling
>Anon please..
>Swing my shit sling at her
>Diaper falls apart and flings wet sloppy big boy chocolate all over the room
>Ring of fecies whips her in the eye and she falls do the ground recoiling and grabbing her face
>Slap her open handed and squat over her face
>Queue a huge wet fart bubble followed by a mexican mudslide in the rainy season
>Literally pours over her face like a generous helping of tendie chilli
>She wipes it off her face and tries to gasp for air
>Quickly plug her shit covered mouth with my big boy weenie peenie
>She spasms and mumbles what might be a yes
>Serves me tendies later while sobbing and promises to give me lots of good boy points
>mfw I always get my way
love how dark this one is. +15 GBP
4chan is dead. Ive Fucking seen it all. Cancerous cucks kys
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Baby wakes up in the morning hungry for his tendie meal
He starts shouting for his mummy, and so loudly it's unreal
"Wanna eat my chickie tendies, so please give them to me now,
And don't forget to bring the ranch, you fat, ungrateful cow"
Mummy comes in with a smile on her face
"Just a second hun", sounds like she knows her place
After just a minute comes my favorite food in bed
And I sit there eating chicken, happy baby has been fed

Mummy comes back later for my dirty dish and plate
And now I need more tendies to properly satiate
So I throw the plate at mummy and I tell her what I need
But I threw the plate so hard at her that she began to bleed
Mummy took my good boy points away
And she told me that I will be grounded for today
This is an injustice for the good boys everywhere
Time to release plan B inside of my underwear

I sit in my bed and then I have to concentrate
And release manifestation of my overwhelming hate
And when all is said and done,that is when I begin to bawl
Mummy comes back in, because she's at my beckon call
I watch her face when she smells the smell
"This is it dear mummy, this is my personal hell"
"Baby made a poo poo and needs mummy to change"
"Don't forget my good boy points, cuz I yelled out your name"

The morally of the story is that baby's always right
Gotta put mummy in her place when she puts up a fight
She will try to ground you, but try as she might
When she messes with baby there is no end in sight
Cherry Coke is such a joy
To go with chicky tendies for mummy's little boy
And in the morning we will do this all again
That's why daddy left us, as he is not our friend
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>Wake up this morning feeling good
>Pull the special edition Battlestar Galactica blanket off my bed
>Tie it around my neck like cape
>Step over my piss bottles and old food containers
>It's an autistic ballet as I tip toe to the spots on my floor that aren't covered in garbage
>Finally make it out into hallway
>Rush to look at Good Boy chart on the wall
>MFW only 10 more points needed for a Double Tendie Dinner!
>Run downstairs so fast my cape floats behind me
>Do a running slide onto kitchen floor to tell Mummy the good news
>Mummy just looks at me sternly
>Says to bend over so she can check my diaper first
>"You know I have to check every morning, anon."
>"Nooooo! I don't wanna!" I cry out defiantly
>Tears start to well in her eyes
>She starts walking away from me
>"Wait...Ok..." I say as I lean over the table for her inspection
>Pull down my pants
>The smell of day old chunks of partially digested tendy shit and cheese diarrhea wafts to her nose
>She instantly vomits into the sink
>"That's minus 50 GBP!" she screams with her chin covered in puke
>"I screech and rip off the diaper
>Throw it onto the dining room table as hard as I can
>Orange and brown chunks splatter everywhere
>Some gets on the ceiling
>Some gets on mummy
>She curls into a ball sobbing uncontrollably next to the sink
>Reaches up for a towel but accidentally cuts herself on a kitchen knife I left out
>She's bleeding and covered in vomit and poo while screaming how I'm a bad boy
>Quickly put on my shoes and stuff my pockets with frozen tendies
>Run to my car crying because now I'm late for class at community college
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The following is completely true. Unlike the rest of you idiots I actually live the dream!

>29 years old
>In my play room
>Need to make ca-ca
>Lean over my inflatable ottoman
>Put my toy dump truck between my legs and make a shipment.
>Ca-ca is a little runnier than usual, but it doesn't matter.
>Now I'm hauling a fresh load across the country
>Mummy brings in my lunch (nachos. I like to change it up)
>"Anon, I told you not to play with your poo poo!"
>I'm getting real fucking tired of hearing this.
>Flip the plate of nachos into the wall
>Start punching my own head
>"Anon stop PLEASE STOP!" she screams
>You made me do this. I say
>She runs out of the room to get the tethers to tie my arms back and stop me hitting myself
>Stand behind the door and wait for her to come back.
>As soon as she runs back in I punch her directly in the face as hard as I can, making a weird, wet cracking sound.
>She falls over and hits her head on my dinosaur table.
>I go back to playing with my toy trucks and gorillas
>She wakes up a bit later
>I don't say anything, I just stare at her
>She quietly leaves the room.
>I can hear her crying from her room.
>Am I worried? No.
>I'll wait it out and things will go back to normal.
>It's easy for me to be a good boy.
>If Mummy does what I say I'll be a good little boy.

If she doesn't like it she should have had an abortion, she chose this life.
I'll warrant the hebrews are to blame for this
This is literal cancer...I cant even.
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>wake up in my crib
>stretch out, my legs can barely fit between the bars
>as I move, I feel my poopoo sloshing around my diapers
>hmm, mommy seems to have forgotten to change me today
>my tummy rumbles
>look at clock besides GBP chart, 4:54 PM, almost time for my brekky
>no response
>mommy doesn't even care that her precious boy is hungies
>contemplate breaking my crib again, but I'm in a good mood since she
>yell again, still no response
>keep yelling for about an hour until my throat starts to hurt
>struggle to move my portly frame out of the crib
>waddle downstairs, chanting "CRISPY OUTSIDE, SOFT INSIDE, MOMMY MOMMY WHERE'D YOU HIDE" with each step
>I can see mommy's shadow, she's in front of the telly sleeping
>sit on her lap, my poo poo leaks on her under my weight
>STILL no response
>this has gone too far
>start shaking her
>amazing, she still hasn't woken up, the absolute NERVE of her
>notice she's holding a yellow tube, grab it
>it has small pieces of candy in it, but it's half empty
>selfish cunt doesn't even care that I'm a growing boy and need my sugar
>"be forewarned, mummy... this may suffice for now, but I expect tendies for din-din"
>pour remaining candy from the tube in my mouth
>fall fast asleeps just like mummy
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> be me
> 28 years old NEET
> raised as an only child
> I caused mummy and daddys divorce
> nothing matters except the scrumptious taste of tendies
> mfw its 03:00am
> eww mummy is sleeping with nasty landlord
> mummy I'm hungries
> yell into intercom for snackitysnacks
> her tired voice reponds with "PISS OFF SWEETY MOMMY IS WORKING!!"
> insolent woman I know there are tendies in the freezer bring me my tendies
> challenging me at this hour?
> keep chanting for the tendies that are rightfully mine
> evil jew landlord tells mummy to shut me up
> naughty man. Making mummy's ladylettuce smell like sardines
> The war has begun.ctn
> enter sunrise. All Preparations are complete.
> nullifying any chance of escape I reeeee into mummies "office" on my valiant reinforced electric wheelchair
> douse jew in two jugs of poopyjuice before he can activate his spells
> evil jew is unable to battle!
> ram him into the corner and then leap off of my valiant steed and mount mummy's face
> Groan as I release a big boy turd so nasty her fingernails begin to peel backwards
> gaze into her eyes as the impact sends mummy into panic attack
> expel the last of my poopies on the sheet. How many times must I break you?
> tidy up my toys and waddle into kitchen to await my spoils
> slithery jew slithers out of my castle and says we don't need to worry about rent ever again
> mummy finally arrives visibly shaken and broken inside
> opens the freezer to make my tendies and blows them until they are cool
> "mummy you have to chew them for me"
> mummy breaks down in tears and screams for death
> yawn, give myself 5 extra GBP and fall asleep without eating them.
A classic from the past
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>saved up enough Good Boy Points for a new game
>ask mummy to drive me to EB Games
>says she drank too much of her grape juice so she cant drive
>decide to go myself
>pack some chicken tendies for the journey in case I get hungies
>go to the garage, grab my bike and TMNT bicycle helmet (leonardo, of course)
>riding my bike, people angry and yelling at me as i make my way through sidewalk (wtf am i supposed to do, ride on the street?)
>see cousin dylan walking home from school with his friends
>wave hello but he pretends not to notice me (lol he's so shy)
>get to EB Games, grab a copy of Super Smash Brothers, and head to cashier
>tell him i would like to purchase this game using my accumulated good boy points
>he gives me a weird look and then asks for my EB Games Edge points rewards card
>huh? i don't have that. its what mummy must use to keep my GBP on
>ask him if i can pay with my chicken tendies
>"uh.. no, you cant pay with chicken, that's not legal tender"
>he tells me he's calling security, so i grab the the game and run, get on my bike, and flee
>get somewhere safe, check out game, THE CASE IS FUCKING EMPTY, IT WAS JUST FOR DISPLAY
>so angry, i take a big meaty shit inside the case and smush it shut
>throw it on sidewalk and watch as some excited kid and his mom pick it up
>lel not a complete loss i guess
>get home, police car there
>mom is hysterical
>tell her of my adventure as she hugs me
>get extra tendies for dinner that night
I had that carpeting as a kid!
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>Here is the tale of a young future NEET.
>All he desired were tendies to eat.
>For lunch, they were serving a fresh, hot batch
>And in this young tard, a plan had hatched.
>You see, lunchtime had already passed,
>For our hero ate first with the special ed class.
>But this good little boy still remained hungies
>So a great tidal wave was unleashed from his undies
>Slippery, quick, and ever so fast,
>He ran with a speed no wrangler could match.
>Filled with disgust, they just let him run
>This was a battle the young tard had won.
>Our hero enters, covered in piss
>The lunchroom where the others ate with bliss
>His tummy rumbled as he sniffed the air
>Yes! There were sweet chicken tendies there!
>Undetected, across the floor he did slide
>Into the freezer where crispy treasures hide
>As he looked about, awe filled his eyes.
>More tendies than a million gbp buys!
>Fat and happy, he began his feast
>But opened the door, and entered a beast!
>The lunch lady howled, filled with rage,
>Our friend stood and smiled
>For still he smelled vile,
>He grunted and pushed
>And gave birth to foul mush.
>He grinned and giggled as he produced more and more,
>His victim tried to run but fell on the floor
>It smelled of mustard and hot sriracha
>He grabbed both her wrists and whispered "Ha, gotcha!"
>She screamed and cried, but she had to pay
>For taking this tard's sweet tendies away.
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>at new daddy's country cabin for the weekend while the house is fumigated
>him and mummy go out for the day, leave me in my race car bed that mummy carried all the way here on the bus because she can't afford gas any more
>noon rolls around, hungry
>get out of bed, unlock the baby gate they set up (she doesn't know I know how, dumb bitch) and go into the kitchen/hall area in search of din dins
>just spam and jerky and soup in the cupboards and frozen deer in the freezer
>pile all the spam cans up and go pee pee on them to show what I think of this
>fucking normies don't have the first clue about nutrition, this is a fucking outrage
>go into new daddy's bedroom, maybe he keeps an emergency stash of tendies hidden like I do
>look under his bed
>nothing there but a load of magazines with pictures of ladies wearing no clothes and some men too
>there fucking MUST be tendies nearby because the magazines are covered in ranch
>notice a shoebox a little further back
>grab it and bring it out, it's heavy. These must be his tendies, quite a few of them too
>open it
>it's a gun
>looks like a Glock 17, I can tell from extensive experience in Counter-Strike
>take it out and pretend I'm in Wanted, making the bullet curve around the doorway and hitting Chad on the other side
>suddenly there's a loud crash in the hall and a man's voice shouting
>fill my diaper and start shaking
>the gun goes off, I go deaf and drop it
>crawl under the bed and squeeze my eyes shut
>work up the courage to check things out after a few minutes
>new daddy is lying in a pile of spam cans, ouchie-juice leaking from his abdomen
>mummy is crying over him and on the phone to the police

this is going to cost some hefty GBP
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/r9k/ is a mistake
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>wake up at 5pm, earlier than usual
>reach for a wee wee jug and start beating it against the floor rhythmically
>hear a wail from downstairs
>she always cries since new daddy left
>notice the wee wee jug split and is leaking
>oh well, throw it at the wall for mummy to clean up later
>flip on my surround-sound system bought with a year's worth of GBP
>one and only song on repeat
>hear an even louder wail from downstairs
>silly normies not appreciating music
>figure my tendies are about due
>grab another jug, pound it on the floor
>mummy gets very upset
>hear something smash and the door slams
>wait for her to bring me my tendies
>wait half a fucking hour for that lazy bitch
>have to drag MYSELF out of my sports car bed and down the stairs into the kitchen
>no mummy
>broken plate on the floor, tendies still in the oven, nicely done but cold
>ah well, some honey mustard will make things all better
>look in the cupboard

now I know why she said she couldn't do it any more
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>Need to poop
>Shit jugs are all full
>Brainwave: if I empty all my shit jugs AND poopoo in the toilet, I get double Good Boy Points and can eat tendies all weekend
>Grab armfulls of shit jugs and head to the bathroom.
>Spill some shit jugs on the way, don't care Mummy will clean up
> Sit on toilet, my big beautiful bottom spills over the side, begin pooping.
>My bowl movement sounds like a pipe being unclogged
>Release putrid farts
>Dump my shit jugs into the bowl until the poopoo is overflowing and covering the seat.
>Mummy comes in, sees the shit trail leading to the toilet, the overflowing bowl and smells my flatulence.
>She starts crying, obviously proud of her Best Boy.
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>be me
>live at home with mom
>she has a party and invites our friends and families
>big pot luck but all I want is chicken tendies
>go to freezer pull out tendies
>throw some in the microwave
>come out of the kitchen with my chicken tendies and ketchup
>everyone looks at me as I go back to my fap fortress
>mom comes in and tells me, "Anon, will you please be social for our family and friends? Please do it for me!"
>Go back to the living room
>so anon I hear you like those chinese cartoons like the dragon balls and naroootoe
>starting to get pissed
>giggle and just say yeah
>then some faggot pulls out a Macbook to show off his faggot families vacation
>rage ensues
>grab piss bottle
>throw it at macfag
>hits him everyone goes silent
>Then I scream "Filthy fucking casual!"
>Apple is for fags
>mom grabs me
>Back hand her
>faggot white knight steps in and tells me to calm down
>start to scream and helicopter
>shit my self in the process
>everyone pulls out their iPhones to take a video
>more rage
>run back into room and grab my katana
>here them talking and asking what they should do
>run out and chop at the macbook
>the guy tries to tackle me but my ninjitsu skills are second to none
>he trips and bust his head open on the coffee table
>everyone runs out
>someone calls the cops
>go hid in my room
>clutch my Rei body-pillow and pray to my framed picture of Gabe Newell above my bed
>set up trap using my jizz bottles
>cops knock on door and tell me to open up
>They bust in
>first cop gets a bucket of jizz I proped over my door
>second one trips over a dragon dildo
>cops throw me to the ground and hand cuff me
>mom's crying
>go to jail
>missing warm tendies and comfy animes
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"OK... " "Are you listening?" "(Can this fucker even hear me) ". Main character (alone) looks around confused standing in the street. "Don't move, and say nothing, we've been meaning to gat ahol...". Main character get smashed into the street by a truck.... Moments pass... "Hahaa, that's why its never good to listen to the voices in your head...". Ground begins to crack as screaming and cinders rise up. An angel kneels by the corpse as it is dragged down slipping from her caring but gentle grasp... "You know what they say... Always look on the bright side of death, kid". Screaming and hellfire intensifies as a chared corpse is dropped thrue a nexus in the sky into a burnt and horid waistland of burnt fleshy ground and black smoke. We see the corpse hit the ground hard but remain intact. Pale Eyeless children skip by singing a lulliby in reverse, as the children leave the screen our protagonist a burnt emaciated corpse begins to stirr. "Atleast you'll never have to die again"... And so begins our experience in the echoside. The goal is to excape hell out the back door and find your way through the echoside to the giant red rusted steel gates "even in the after life things dont always go as planned"... Hell A stronghold that rests in the lowest eschlons of the horrid plane. The point is to not gain power as much as it is to not deteriorate on your way through the eccho side to the red gates. "Hell is just a tomb resting in the echoside" but when you finally get to the red gates it turns out its just the front doors of hell. Sorry I'm on Mobil but yeah.
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>be 32 year old beautiful, happy bouncy baby boy with a bright future ahead of me
>6pm, just woke up, getting my morning cereals
>enter mommy, she sits down in front of me as i happily pick apart the marshmellows in the cereal and eat them with a spoon full of milkies
>"honey, your dad and i have been talking, and we think its finally time for you to get a job..."
>i stop her immediately after that
>"mommy, what are you...?"
>an incomprehensible rage takes over me, i quickly lash out at mommy
>grab the poopy diaper that she hasnt fucking changed since last night
>throw it right at her face, makes a big splat sound and she falls back from the force and velocity of the poopy diaper smacking her
>as she is stunned and wiping the poopies off, i stand over her with my fists clutched, she is cowering with her hands over her face, stupid fucking bitch
>i remind her that baby doesnt like it when his diaper changing bonding with mommy time is forgotten
>start peeing all over her, she probably wants to be washed off by now
>punch in the stomach and make sure she doesnt tell anyone what happened
>later that night, she comes in with a plate full of fresh KFC tendies and a new diaper, kisses my forehead and tells me to have a good night at 10 am
Are you guys autistic or what?
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>enjoying my yummy tummy tendies and masturbating to super princess peach
>typical monday night
>suddenly notice its almost 2:30 am
>icarly reruns at 2:30 am
>there is an astonishing lack of icarly and or tvs in my lair
>call my poopnosed mommy
>she doesn't come in
>wait for a patient 5 seconds minimum
>call again
>no answer, the bitch is still sleeping
>she has no idea who she's dealing with
>hit my head against the wall and start screaming
>i can see her wake up from acoss the hall
>threaten to kill myself again
>finally she comes in
>it's about time
>says some shit about bothering the whole apartment complex and how she has to go to work tomorrow
>doesn't realize i don't care
>tell her to get the tv in here
>"anon, you already have 3 tvs sweetie"
>"no mommy, i want the new tv in here"
>she sighs and tells me to get up and go to the living room myself if i want to watch it
>sheathe my katana
>politely explain that i have 1 tv for each show i watch and none of the tvs are made for icarly
>stupid cunt doesn't understand that watching another show on the wrong tv completes imbalance
>whore didn't learn that that's the reason why i burnt the last house down
>"fine, but only if you clean up your poopoo jugs while im gone"
>that fucking cunt telling me what to do
>while the bitch is gone empty the shitjugs into her bed as punishment
>come back
>she's still struggling to get the damn thing in here
>take another poopoo on the ground to pass the time and show her who's boss
>the staggering wench comes in here
>slips on the poopoo
>tv falls on her head
>she stops moving
>blood comes from behind
>dont care, tv's in my room
>plug it in
>realize ill have to watch the tv from top-down because stupid whore is trapped underneath
>dont care, it's pretty funny
>turn on tv.
>buzz-lightyear of star command comes on
>look at the clock
>it's 2:30 pm
>Take another shit on my mom for making me fuck up again
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>I've been a good boy and save up 50 GBP this week
>now I can dine on tendies ALL WEEKEND
>lunch goes smoothly enough. got a nice hot plate of tendies and sauce
>my tummy starts to growl later and I know it time for dinner
>I leave my room and head downstairs
>"mummy! time for din din! its tendie time!"
>mumma is on the couch watching a movie with another new daddy
>lazy bitch. but who cares as long as I get my tendies
>"Sorry anon but you know the rules! tendies only once a day! just heat up some bagel bites and leave me and my friend alone."
>fucking liar! theres no such rule posted on the GBP chart! and bagel bites ! what an insult!
>she'll learn
>wait until 2 hours past my beddie bye time
>grab my pee pee spitton and my hidden pair of mummys underwear to wear as a mask
>interrupt her and new daddy playing in her room
>start spinning around like taz from loony toons spraying my pee pee all over
>new daddy is screaming and mum is crying

and here i am. eating breakfast tendies in bed like a king. New daddy even said he was going to show me his new gun in the woods
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>2am. Hungry
>Grab my bitch summoning stick. Bang it on the wall until Mommy arrives
>She takes ages to arrives. She's pregnant from some Chad who then dumped her
>Tell her I'm hungry and want to go to Burger King
>"No Anon, it's late. I have to work tomorrow
>Tell her it's no wonder Chad left after knocking her up and if she's not nicer to her Good Boy, he'll leave her too.
> Her eyes well up and she drives me to Burger King.
>I get a kid's meal and play with my toys for a while.
>Tell Mommy I want to be the Burger King and to get me a cardboard BK crown.
>She asks the manager but he says they're all out.
>I start screeching REEEEEEEE but Mommy says there's nothing she can do as there's no other Burger King's open at this hour.
>She drives me home. I sulk and watch Kung Fu Panda.
>I get an idea. I hide behind the couch and call Mommy into the room.
> When she arrives I kung fu chop her in the belly
>She rolls around on the ground, crying that she thinks I've hurt the baby.
>I pour my piss jug on her head and demand she apologises for not making me the Burger King and tells me I'm the best at Kung Fu.
>She keeps sobbing so I lock her in the cupboard until she learns her lesson.
>Fucking normies.
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>Parents are wagecucks, tell them how pathetic they are at dinner every night
>One day wake up, 6:30
>Nobody woke me up for dinner at 6:00
>Run down the steps, screeching at my parents for trying to let me starve
>No answer
>Go into parents room
>See them both dead, holding hands, a gun in each of their off hands and a bullet wound through both of their heads
>Note between them
>"Dear anon, we are sorry, but we cannot stand this type of existence anymore. We both love you very much, but our lives simply aren't worth living if they're going to be like this. We left you tendies and bagel bitez in the freezer, and instructions on how to reheat them. We're so sorry honey bunches. Please, please forgive us, and be okay. Love, mom and pop."
>mfw my parents became an hero because they couldn't stand being wagecuck's anymore
>Start to panic, know that Jewman will make me leave the house if they find out my parents are dead
>Hide their bodies under the mattress, use the tendies that they left me (ignore shitty bagel bitez)
>they left me enough power and internet to last a while, play Smite and Runescape for a few weeks
>Eventually run out of tendies
>Go to the Bitez
>Almost out of those when I hear a knock at the door
>It's Mr. Shekelsteens wagecuck HR Person
>Parents are both high up in their company, when they wouldn't answer their phone for such a long time, Mr. Shekelsteen sent this asshole to check on them
>Tell him they went on vacation in Wagekuktopia
>He doesn't believe me, starts to get panicked because he smells "carrion"
>Runs up to my parents bed and finds them
>I get charged for murder even though I didn't do it
>Court case lasts 17 months, spend most of my time in lock up because I can't afford bail, not after they stopped giving me my NEETbux
>I am found not guilty, but they also find that I am "Mentally unfit"
>They give me triple the NEETbux they used to
>I get to keep my parents house and get paid like a king for my whole life
11/10 thread
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>11pm, i'm in bed
>wake up with a hankering for tendies
>sneak downstairs even though it's past my bedtime
>see mummy and new daddy watching something on tv
>be extra sneaky as i go past to the kitchen
>start whipping myself up some tendies
>suddenly i hear mummy say something to new daddy, she thinks i'm a burglar because i'm making so much noise
>new daddy rushes out of the room
>he runs into the kitchen and i shit and piss everywhere in fear
>he gets angry and starts yelling at mummy
>'why the fuck do we have to live with this fucking autistic kid'
>things get heated and he hits mummy
>big mistake
>pick up some of the shit and throw it in new daddy's face
>i jump on him, throw him to the ground, then sit on his face (i weigh 300 lbs)
>sit there for a while, new daddy stops moving
>command mummy to make me tendies
>she does
>now new daddy needs a special chair to get around
>he flinches every time i walk past
>mummy makes me tendies every day, no quibbles
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>be me
>be in mummy wummy's attic
>hear mummy and new daddy making the Forrest Gump sounds
>decide it's time to cash in GBP cache
>503 GBP
>this means soooooo many tendies
>Swing open mummy's door and see new daddy pumping cucumber in mummy
>"mummy i need tendie-wendies!"
>"fuk off m8" screechies new daddy as he spews mayonaise
>begin to cry
>run to attic
>spirit broken
>get on tumblr and read about self harm
>time to show mummy how much i love the tendies
>take katana and begin James Franco-ing my limbs ie 127 hrs
>ketchup & bbq all over
>bread myself in pee pee jars and baby powder
>roll to mummy's door
>mfw she's at the door crying
>mfw im human tendie
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>mom giving me lift to college
>my birthday is on saturday which sucks because it means I wont get a day off studying for mommy's special little guys attention day
>start screaming that it's my birthday TODAY
>mom doesn't even try, simply does a u-turn and drives towards home
>pissed off she even woke me up for this, on my birthday of all things
>piss my pants and wet the seat screaming for my birthday cake
>mom starts crying
>it's a sign she'll give in
>baby doesn't like being yelled at
>and baby needs burping
>"burp me or I'll fucking vomit"
>stick my fingers down my throat and vomit all over the steering wheel, her hands and her lap
>"baby is all empty and ready for his cake mommy", I said through a smug little shit-eating grin
>mom gives up and drives to the cake store
>she cuts me off and tells me to shutup and wait in the fucking car while she gets me my special ninja turtle cake
>well mom, baby doesn't like being told off, so baby is gonna shit his fucking pants
>She came back to the car, saw the mess baby had done all over the seats and broke down crying
>I politely asked for my birthday cake, and started shoving and stuffing my fat faggot face with it
>"Oh by the way mom, this doesn't mean you're off the hook. I still expect a real birthday cake on Saturday."
>I finished about half the cake, most of it just smeared around my mouth and face, huge chunks melting and crumbing all over my lap
>just to teach that bitch a lesson I smeared the rest all over the inside of the windscreen. that will teach her not to fuck with me
>she wiped away just a little hole to see through and cried all the way home
>"it's baby's birthday, and baby doesn't want to walk"
>and baby needs changing

Kekkk asshole i even drop the phone and have a little scratch now on my display

Thx retard!
>waddle over
Feels like reading a GoT chapter with tyrion
learn scent ants structure
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>be sitting in my play pen with my plastic dinosaur toys
>can't find stegosaurus
>mummy comes running out from the kitchen
>"what's wrong, poopsie?"
>"I can't find steggy!"
>"I'm sure he's around here somewhere, honey. We'll find him later but I gotta finish dinner"
>My eyes light up as she says this
>"Din din? Am I having tendies?"
>"No honey, we're having meatloaf"
>these words stung my soul, it was a slight to everything I stand for
>my disposition changes from happy to vengeful immediately
>she panics
>"honey, calm down. I'll..."
>as she was walking towards me, she steps on stegosaurus
>his spine plates cut in to her foot, causing her to start bleeding
>mfw I stealthily planted him there to test her
>she could have prevented this if she had just made me tendies in the first place
>a baby's gotta do what a baby's gotta do
>because she's at my beckon call
That's beck AND call, you stupid froglet.
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>Parents are wagecucks, tell them how pathetic they are at dinner every night
>One day wake up, 6:30
>Nobody woke me up for dinner at 6:00
>Run down the steps, screeching at my parents for trying to let me starve
>No answer
>Go into parents room
>See them both dead, holding hands, a gun in each of their off hands and a bullet wound through both of their heads
>Note between them
>"Dear anon, we are sorry, but we cannot stand this type of existence anymore. We both love you very much, but our lives simply aren't worth living if they're going to be like this. We left you tendies and bagel bitez in the freezer, and instructions on how to reheat them. We're so sorry honey bunches. Please, please forgive us, and be okay. Love, mom and pop."
>mfw my parents became an hero because they couldn't stand being wagecuck's anymore
>Start to panic, know that Jewman will make me leave the house if they find out my parents are dead
>Hide their bodies under the mattress, use the tendies that they left me (ignore shitty bagel bitez)
>they left me enough power and internet to last a while, play Smite and Runescape for a few weeks
>Eventually run out of tendies
>Go to the Bitez
>Almost out of those when I hear a knock at the door
>It's Mr. Shekelsteens wagecuck HR Person
>Parents are both high up in their company, when they wouldn't answer their phone for such a long time, Mr. Shekelsteen sent this asshole to check on them
>Tell him they went on vacation in Wagekuktopia
>He doesn't believe me, starts to get panicked because he smells "carrion"
>Runs up to my parents bed and finds them
>I get charged for murder even though I didn't do it
>Court case lasts 17 months, spend most of my time in lock up because I can't afford bail, not after they stopped giving me my NEETbux
>I am found not guilty, but they also find that I am "Mentally unfit"
>They give me triple the NEETbux they used to
>I get to keep my parents house and get paid like a king for my whole life
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>be me
>just finished mowing the lawn
>mowing the lawn is worth 50GBP, which brings my balance to about 350
>I now have enough to get a ten piece tendie dinner
>run inside
>"Mummy I would like to purchase a tendy dinner with my GBP!"
>"Anon, we're out of chicken tenders, didn't I tell you?"
>I smile
>I walk into my room
>pull out a shit jar that's been under my bed for a year
>remnants of moldy, tendy filled shit are pressed against the glass
>"We still have some"
>mother gags and runs to the sink
>she unleashes a torrent of vomit into the garbage disposal.
>"cook them for me mummy, after all, I've been a good boy for you. It's the least you could do."
>"Anon, I can't even look at that thing, let alone cook it!"
>I charge the bitch and slam the jar into her face, knocking her out cold
>swing the jar over my head and onto the counter, bursting it and splattering moldy, chunky shit all over the kitchen
>piss all over mummy
>leave a note that says "You should treat your good boy better and not go back on your word :). Next time I won't be so nice. Love, your best boy"
>go back to playing CS:GO on my PC
Atleast you feel sorry for your mummy, anon. Have you ever thought about going to tendies anonymous, to get off your tendies addiction?
So, are you guys british, or what?
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>wake up at 11PM
>tum tum roaring with the force of a thousand exploding suns from hunger
>put hand down my pull up big boy diaper and poke around in my bum bum
>pull out a soggy mess of half digested poo poo
>smell it and wipe it on my buzz lightyear bedsheets for mommy to clean up later
>roll out of my race car bed and waddle to kitchen
>mommy better have my tendies ready and at perfect temperature or she's going to PAY
>find mommy slumped against the oven, overwhelmed from exhaustion from having to work 2 jobs
>that BITCH overcooked my tendies AND they're cold
>dig around inside bum bum again and smear poo poo over over the tendies and the Good Boy Points chart on the fridge
>at least she prepared my juice in my XL sippy cup
>gag because its lukewarm from having been left out of the fridge too long
>vomit all over the floor
>fling my sippy cup at mommy and hit her on the head
>juice explodes everywhere and mixes with the vomit
>mommy doesn't even notice
>jump onto her and start hitting her in her tummy and num nums
>she wakes up with a look of pure terror, and gags from the stench of vomit, shit and orange juice
>she tries to explain that she's so tired from work and not having enough money
>continue pulling on her num nums until she lifts up her top and lets me drink
>mfw I stole enough gold stars so I'll have enough GBP to buy that electric motorbike to race around the house with now
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>mummy planning special tender dinner date with new daddies family
>mummy promises me 15 GBP if I wear my grown up boy clothes and don't ask any questions to new daddy's family
>arrive at restaurant but getting hungy hungy, mummy tells me to wait
>start playing my 3DS XL on full volume because restaurant is noisy but getting bored
>can see new daddies family are getting hungry too so decide to go on a quest to bring us tendies
>go to the front counter but get given a big green bottle instead
>start drinking it, tastes like the old mountain dews I found in my closet
>makes me feel kinda good, start chugging it down
>mummy tells me to stop and food will be here soon, bitch thinks she can tell me what to do
>food finally arrives
>green mush and bread, smells like day old poo poos
>feel my neck heating up, hands begin to tremble
>bitch lied to me, realize I'm not getting my tendies
>flick the plate at the wall in protest just like my old new daddy taught me to with a frisbee before he left
>start feeling dizzy, seeing two of everything
>good boy clothes aren't as comfortable as red onesie with my poo poo flap
>start pulling shirt off but slip and fall onto the table
>knock big, hot soup off the table onto new daddy's family, new daddy's family begin to shriek and scream
>normies begin to crowd around our table, mummy tries to push them away from me frantically but its too late
>throw up all over table and new family
>get escorted out of the restaurant by the mountain dew man
>mummy cries all the way home
>can't hear my fucking 3DS game properly and didn't get GBP
shitty shitty day and I woke up with a bad headache
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>playing RuneScape online
>Antifire runs out, die
>Scream and punch my wall, putting another hole in it (they stopped getting fixed when dad left)
>Fucking normalscum mom yells up to me "Anon, please stop getting mad at your nintendo! Pause it and come down for din-dins!"
>All the while I'm running back (~200k risk)
>Start screaming, run downstairs, tripping over my pissbottles
>Mom is standing by the router, dumb bitch turned it off
>"Now, anon, I'm sorry I had to do that, but Doctor Goldberg says I need to set limits-"
>Cock my fedora back and punch that smug cunt in the neck
>She drops to the ground with a gasp and just lies there shaking
>I start screaming, stamping my feet and turtleheading
>She pushes past me on the way to her room
>Yell "OW BITCH YOU HURT ME!" and start crying
>She ignores me, locks herself in the room
>I follow her, still crying, stand outside her door and start kicking it, chanting "YOU DON'T LOVE ME MOMMY YOU DON'T LOVE YOUR GOOD LITTLE BOY"
>She begs me to leave her alone
>I tell her I'm hungry and she's starving me and if she doesn't get me some tendies right fucking now i'll report her for child abuse
>She tells me dinner is on the table
>It's fucking broccoli and meatloaf and shit
>Start pounding on her door and demanding the tendies I am owed
>Eventually get tired, bitch isn't responding, curl up on the floor outside her door and fall asleep to the sound of her quietly sobbing on the other side
>Wake up in my own bed, tucked in, a note on my lamp:
>"Sweetie, you made yourself sick and messed yourself, so I changed you and bathed you while you were asleep, I hope you don't mind. I'm sorry. I love you, you're my special little guy. Don't ever stop being my little boy, honey. I'll love you forever. Please forgive me."
>Plate of tendies on my nightstand
tfw mummy really luvs her baby boy
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>Be 30 years old
>Watching Backyardigans
>Start jumping up and down, and dancing to the intro cause I'm really excited, man
>Tummy go gurgly
>Run into living room
>"Anon, you're 30 years old stop acting and talking like a child! Talk like an adult and stop saying Booger King, besides we have food here"
>This bitch did not just try to throw that at me.
>Start throwing Mommie's framed photos on the ground
>"Okay! Jesus get your shoes on"
>"Yay! You're the best Mommy this special little cowboy could ever ask for!
>Run to the car making gun shot noises
>Get to BK
>Tell her I want the Buffalo Chicken fries
>They're all out
>"Anon we can just use hot sauce!"
>"It's not the same!!"
>Start violently kicking her seat
>Ask for an ICEE
>As we're driving home I pour the ICEE on the floorboard to teach the bitch a leason
>"Ooopsie daisy."
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>>best 40th birthday ever
Fucking lost it
>If she doesn't like it she should have had an abortion, she chose this life.
True. All our mothers used to be slutty normalfags. We wouldn't have pity with them normally. Ironically the only reason we do pity them is because they forced is into existence, which is the same reason we should hate them even more
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>be me
>slowly building up gbp to spend on sweet tenders
>mommy says if i get 300 gbp i can get tendies and a new game
>be good all week throw poop and pee jugs away, help mommy clean dishes
>decide i want tendies now and i don't want to wait for mommy to give me the gbp i need
>get two hidden poo jugs i had saved just inscase mommy is being a bitch
>go to kitchen with poop jugs and demand mommy make tendies and buy me simpsons hit and run for ps2
> mommy says i can't because i don't have enough gbp so i grab the poop jugs and ask her if she is sure about that
>she seeds poop jugs and knows that I'm not playing so she quickly makes me my tendies
>finish eating my lovely tendies and tell mommy its time to go get the game from the game store
>grab my nicest fedora and cape since i might see a m'lady
>get to game story and see 7/10 qt 3.14
>tip fedora to girl
>ask girl if she wants to come play simpsons with me and eat tendies
>she does mommy gives me 20 gbp for talking to a girl
>go home play simpsons and eat more tendies with qt 3.14
>girl sees hidden poop jugs while were playing game and she screams "anon why do you have a milk jug full of shit"
>tell her "where am i supposed to go poo poo if i don't have shit jug?"
>girl leaves and mommy won't buy me more tendies
what do?
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>Mommy, Mommy, Tendies for me!
>Didn't you know that it's my disease?
>It's not autism Mommy, it's something bigger.
>Get to the oven or the REEEEE's you will trigger.
>Don't make me come down there.
>You know what will happen.
>Someone will get hurt.
>You will drink my pee pee's and eat poo poo for dessert
>I counted and counted
>Good Boy Points, I have plenty.
>Go get me the Tendies I want.
>I'm gonna need about twenty.
>Don't try to change my nappy.
>You won't like the surprise.
>My butthole is filled
>with maggots and flies.
>I lick Ranch dressing from my fingers
>as I make my plan.
>Don't make your Good Boy leave you Mommy
>I'll go hang myself
>and wake up in Anime-land.
>Where the Tendies are free
>and never far from my hands.
>We can go to the BK.
>2AM, you must drive.
>I will certainly need a crown
>or I will leave nobody alive.
>Now take me home.
>I need to eat Tendies in peace.
>Tomorrow we start again.
>Just listen for my REEEEEEEEEEEEE's
>Mommy is crying.
>She must be so happy.
>I get more Good Boy points,
>in the drive-through I took off my nappy
>Mommy was puking, she must be so sick.
>It felt really good when I showed the BK man my dick.
>Mommy and Step-daddy are yelling and screaming.
>If this doesn't stop soon my room I will be leaving.
>They know what will happen.
>I've done it before.
>I throw all my piss-jugs all over the floor.
>Sometimes I lose GBP
>and sometimes I gain.
>Sweet, sweet Tendies
>I will taste you again.
>Be in my bed after crashing from a LoL binge
>Shitstained undies starting to stink up a storm
>Sweat coagulating in a thick, gel layer on my skin, literal crumbs falling out of my two inch neck beard
>I guess it's time for my monthly shower
>Waddle down to my shower
>3 am, lights all off. Use my 2DS as a flash light
>Get to shower, clean as a whistle since mummy uses it too
>Shower, cleaning the dingle berries and solidified shit from my asscrack
>Touching my sphincter causes me to shit
>A huge amount of fecal matter comes flying out of my ass, cum from the anal stimulation
>Leave shower immediately, still dripping wet (that way I get EXTRA clean)
>No more poo poo inside of me means it's time for a third dinner
>Take chicken from fridge and bread them
>Put a few shots of fireball in the egg for the breading
>The uncooked tendies are wet and slimy like my turds, get grossed out and puke on the floor
>Heat up oil on the stove in a pot
>Rapidly boiling oil
>Mommy always adds water to the oil to make the tendies more moist
>Add an entire cup of water to the rapidly boiling oil
>Steam and insanely hot oil explode onto my face
>Fall to the ground as the oils heat peels and blisters the skin off my face
>6 AM Comes by, mommy comes downstairs to get ready for work
>Finds me, my shit still in the shower, my vomit on the floor, and my horribly burnt oil on the stove
>Claims it was a miracle the house didn't burn down
>Brings me to hospital
>Tendies for lunch at hospital while my burn wounds are treated
my dick is so hard right now
>>"fuk off m8" screechies new daddy as he spews mayonaise

I think you mean manaise
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>wake up at 5 pm like usual
>start watching anime
>yell for tendies
>"Mom gimme tendies!!"
>no response
>yell again
>Fucking bitch.
>go into her room and piss and shit all over her bed
>Go back to watching anime
>Hear door opening
>I went to Raising Cane's and got you a box of chicken tenders
>Go downstairs, grab box of tendies and run back upstairs
>regret pissing and shitting on her bed
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>4:AM because i am hard core gamer
>playing tf2 looking at a pony spray
>get killed by demonigger
>rage and nearly shit myself
>get hungies so go to kitchen to get hot pocket
>none left
>tip toe to mommy's room
>open door its dark and shes asleep
>belly flop on the floor and do a tactical lizard crawl to her bedside
>wake her and tell her to go to kroger to get more pepperoni hot pockets
>"no honey i have work tomarrow i-"
>karate chop her belly
>she dosent say anything and leaves
>return to computer
>minimize tf2 and open e621 tab to fap to some sexy hentai until mummy gets back with my yummy pockets
>hear door open she throughs them on the counter and retreats to her room
>look at box
>fucking cheese
>told that bitch pepperoni
>fling her door open and nail that bitch in the eye with frozen box
>also fling piss jug while screaming "JARATE" like the sniper in tf2
>make her go back and get the correct one
>she even brought back baja blast from taco bell just to be sure i was sated
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>Be last monday
>just waking up
>have a fuck ton of notifications
>Oh shit
>Local chad from my school wants to fight cause i called him out on bullshit on an alpha streak
>Go to class that day
>Sporting my fedora so the sun doesn't blind me
>Mom didn't wash trenchcoat so it was still at home
>See chad
>He walks over to me
>calls me a faggot and everyone laughs
>I remove my Katana from my bag
>chad laughs along with the crowd
>in one swift motion i chop chad in half and split the crowd
>Sudden geyser spout of blood shoots out of everyone i chopped
>as each person fell to the ground i got 1000 GBP
>tendies for years man
>all the grills begin to mire me
>turn them away and go home on my scooter
>everyone is applauding me
>mayor promises me a holiday in which we all feast on tendies
>get home sit down on computer and put the drive soundtrack on
>tfw real human bean
>wake up two days later in the hospital
>What acctually happened was chad kicked my ass while i was pretending to pull out a katana and broken my arm and 3 ribs and i had a minor concussion
>now whenever anyone sees me they point and laugh at me
I can never win i'm destined to stay here forever
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>be me
>38 years old
>literal manchild
>3 am
>lying in bed, have to take a shit
>don't want to get up, so shit in my bed
>its getting too stinky for my liking
>get out of bed, stomping on the floor, screaming at the top of my lungs: MOMMY MOMMY, POOPOO, POOPOO !!!!!!
>My mom comes upstairs and sees my shit covered bed
>sighs deeply and cleans up my mess
>ask her if she can take me to Mcdonalds
>''anon, its 3 in the morning and i have to get up early''
>throw a tantrum, take off my pants and start shitting and pissing on the floor
>''ok ok anon, p-please just stop''
>she cleans up and off we go
>make her buy me 3 happy meals
>want a balloon
>they tell my mom they're all out of baloons
>make her drive to the nearest gas station (30 minutes away) to buy me a balloon
>we get home
>go to my room to play with my happymeal toys and balloon
>hear my mom crying downstairs
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>be me
>in my room playing Star Fox Command on my DS after getting up early at 3pm
>mummy opens the door, knocking over a stack of my piss jugs
>"A-anon come on, we're going to Walmart to buy you some new clothes"
>pretend I didn't hear her, does this bitch really have the gall to try and interrupt my day?
>"Anon please turn off your game, you haven't been outside since March last year"
>close my eyes to suppress my rising indignation
>start shaking, breathe deeply through my mouth to calm down
>my heartbeat is audible to both of us at this point
>"Anon what's wrong, do you need a doc-"
>throw the DS at her
>hits her in the mouth and breaks in half
>she just stands there stunned
>it was the Mario 64 DS version that I bought with the GBP I got for my 26th birthday
>now I'm really mad
>grab my bokken (that's a wooden samurai sword for you gaijin, bought it with GBP that I earned by going weewee in the toilet for a week)
>she turns around to run
>expertly throw my bokken to trip her
>hits her head on the doorframe
>hasn't moved since

I'm hungry and I want tendies but the selfish bitch never taught me how to use the microwave, what do
>be me
>playing LoL all night, good times
>wageslave bitch comes home at 2 pm, i greet her
>She seems very tired, 3 years of this shit has caused wrinkles on her face, her hair has greyed out, and her voice barely goes above a whisper
>y-yes anon
>i grab the supplies from her hand
>looking through the supplies, no tendies
>her face has a slight smile
>dont worry anon
>she pulls down her skirt
>as i look at her panties, i realize they are bulging
>"i wanted to keep them safe, anon. No one should steal my baby bwoys tendies."
>i lunge at her, tearing apart her panties
>some of them have hairs in them, one is even halfway up her vajayjay
>eat them anyway
>i turn her around
>"can you find the onion ring, anon?"
>watthe fuck
>this bitch has stuffed an entire onion ring up her asshole
>i'm hungry, so i start eating her out
>it comes in my mouth, mixed with 2 thin logs of shit
>instantly gag, vomit
>she vomits back on me too
>it's a little bit disgusting
>mfw just another lunch in this home
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>Wake up today
>Absolutely beautiful morning, perfect to redeem my Good Boy Points (GBP) for a Tendie dindin with Honey Mustard dipping sauce!
>Nearly trip over myself as I rush downstairs to inform Mummy that I want my tendies now
>When I get to the kitchen, I check my GBP chart. I have enough GBP for a few extra tendies!
>Now there's a section for someone else to get GBP....
>Written there is the name Tyler, my severely autistic brother.
>"Mummy, why is Tyler's name on the GBP chart?"
>"GBP's are only for Mummy's Best Boy."
>"Anon, Tyler needs attention too."
>"Do you hate me, Mummy?"
>"i-i could never hate mummy's little angel..."
>She offers me 50 GBP if I can look past this
>I accept and sit down at the dinner table
>Notice Tyler is hitting himself in the head repeatedly
>He's been doing this for an hour while letting out donkey sounds
>"Tyler, please stop hitting yourself, I'll give you 150 GBP if you eat your Tendies peacefully"
>Tyler farts and begins to dip his tendies in fucking ketchup
>He doesn't like the taste and throws it into the kitchen sink
>Wasting TENDIES
>Realize Tyler would be ahead of me if he gets 150 GBP,.
>This little shit never does ANYTHING, why should he be ahead of MUMMY'S BEST BOY!?
>I snap
>Begin stomping my heelys on the ground, demanding Tyler lose Good-Boy points for sperging out and wasting tendies
>"Anon, you're a big boy now. Big boys need to be mature..."
>Grab the mustard from the fridge and spray it all over Tyler's tendies
>he hates it when brown and yellow foods mix
>starts screaming and punching his head
>Mummy tries to stop him
>"Please Tyler, it's okay... You can still eat it. It's fine if brown and yellow foods mix.."
>"Yeah Tyler it looks just like POO POO PEE PEE on your plate you faggot"
>Smash his face into the plate and make for my room
>Decide to give myself 30 GBP for my trouble.
Would it have killed you to take a shower first?
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When you were young
You were the king of chicken tendies
And how you built an empire in the KFC
In yummy dipping sauce pooling around your feet

And your mom would stick a fork right into those gold morsels
And feed you from her hand, her precious baby boy
As good boy points kept adding up till the next meal you'd try

Now this is the room
Your mommy said she'd always love you
And that she'd never want you to move out or go
Into the world, to get a chance to grow

And your dad would drink until he was half dead
And your mom would come up with brand new ways to fry
Those goldbrown nuggers without which you would certainly die




From all the kinds I've tried
None of the dipping sauces lied
Whether they're breaded or they're fried
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>be me, last night
>mom tells me we're going to a family event, wants me to come
>"it will be good for you to get out of the house, anon"
>"fuck off slut" (im in the middle of minecraft building)
>she UNPLUGS MY COMPUTER, i freak out
>dad comes down and yells, mom is in tears
>im infuriated, facing the other way, but mutter obligation, feeling crafty in order to spite my normie parents
>i shower, brush teeth, and get dressed in normie clothes (jeans, sketchers, and white shirt)
>come upstairs, mom promises tendies, things start looking brighter
>we arrive, people try to greet me and say "its nice to see me"
>typical american slave families all around, i scoff to myself and acknowledge no one
>we sit down, scan through the menus
>only shit-tier food: lobster, crab, grilled chicken pastas and steak
>fuck this, ask mom wheres the tendies
>she says that they dont have any
>lying bitch, i become infuriated
>i throw my menu and stand up, knock over my chair and my water glass (i had asked for mountain dew)
>all normies shocked, i feel a rush of adrenaline
>try to tear off shirt, doesnt work
>storm out of restaurant with pride
>mom and dad come out, mom is crying and dad is fuming
>mission accomplished
>silent drive home as i snicker to myself in the back seat
>now enjoying a nice thursday morning on /b/ and basking in my accomplishment.
>2 AM
>really fucking want some Lunchables
>wake up my stupid bitch of a mother and tell her to go to Walmart and buy me some
>"Anon, it's 2 AM and I have work in the morning, I'll get you some after work tomorrow."
>start slamming my head against the wall while screaming LUNCHABLES so the neighbors wake up
>"Anon, go the fuck to bed or I'll call the police."
>tell her if she calls the police I'll kill myself
>finally the bitch gets in the car and leaves
>takes her 45 minutes to get them
>look in the bag and see she got the Lunchables with Reese's instead of Skittles just to spite me
>unsheathe my katana and corner her
>"You think this is fucking funny you fucking know I hate Reese's you stupid BITCH"
>she begins sobbing and farting uncontrollably out of fear
>open up her mother's urn and pour her ashes into one of my piss bottle and start chugging it infront of her
>she faints at the sight of this
>she oversleeps and is fired for being late
>stupid bitch know not to fuck with me now

fucking normies
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>20 years old
>in Mcdonalds for their My Little Pony toy promotion
>get mom to order me 10 Happy Meals all with girl toys
>she looks at the ground and sheepishly says "But anon, you're getting a little heavy. Maybe you should only have 6 Happy Meals."
>stand on her feet and refuse to move until she complies with my order
>she cannot move and almost falls as she tries to pull her feet out from under mine
>the bitch begins to cry as she realizes I have trapped her, checkmate whore
>she quietly agrees that big boys need ten Happy Meals and she goes to pay for the food
>while she is ordering I get on my hands and knees, she hands the packages of food to me
>I grab the bags with my mouth and begin walking on all fours to the play area
>I slowly crawl up the slide, barely fitting whilst letting out enormous amounts of gas
>once I'm inside the main play area my flatulence has become to over powering that it even brought a tear to my eye
>the children playing inside begin to run out, complaining of the putrid smell
>I yell "get out normie scum! I claim this as the beta uprising headquarters!"
>I sit in the center of the play gym and begin to have a picnic with my happy meals
>I give each pony a bit of cheeseburger
>I'm setting up an awesome play story with my ponies when my bitch mom and the mcdonalds manager come into the play area
>"Sir we have been getting complaints about an adult in the play area. You must be under 8 years old to use it."
>tell him to fuck off
>mcdonalds employees begin entering the play structure
>my mom is yelling that she can reason with me but I don't negotiate with normalfags
>push my back against the wall and start kicking them as they come towards me
>all of the weight of the normie invasion plus myself breaks the play structure
>I fall through to the ball pit, the entire structure collapses
>as the normies try to save a girl trapped under the structure, we escape
>mom begins crying in the van
>make her stop at Burger King for dessert
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>long time ago
>rickroll is still a meme
>australia doesn't make a big deal about shrimps and barbies
>9/11 isnt a joke
>be hipster
>hate rating things out of 10
>rated something 9/11
>parents lock me in room call me terrorist
>be current day
>brussles bombing
>locked in room, parents demanding feds check my hard drives

May allah give me strength
So creepy, disturbing and awesome
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Oh I thought GBP meant Great Britain Pound, but I'm guessing it means Good Boy Points
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>Mom gets off work early without telling me
>Finds me in the pantry emptying my poop jug into the cat's litter box
>Starts yelling at me, saying that I'm fucking disgusting
>Tell her that it's all her fault for breaking up with my dad when I was six
>She tells me that I need to be an adult
>Cry and scream and even throw my shit jug at her
>She says that from now on I have to go to bed before midnight
>Tell her to fuck off and go to my room
>Don't go to bed because it's fucking bullshit and I'm not a god damn wage slave
>She opens the door flat out at like one AM and is really pissed
>Tries to push me away from the computer, but I'm too heavy
>I start yelling at the top of my lungs
>She rips my computer tower out of the wall and takes it up to her room
>Knows I can't climb the stairs and thinks shes won
>Lay down at the bottom of the stairs and scream until my throat hurts
>Still no computer
>She goes to work the next day
>Wake up at like 3 PM and no computer
>Bitch has fucking overstepped her boundaries now
>Go into the bathroom and take a huge shit in the toilet tank
>Pucker up my ass and waddle into the kitchen
>Take a shit in the microwave and set the timer for three hours
>Mom comes home an hour later and the whole house fucking reeks
>She's screaming about a fire in the kitchen
>Can hear her crying for hours and even hear firemen stamping around
>Later that evening she comes in sobbing
>Sets up my computer tower for me
Sometimes you just have to show your mom whats what, OP
how is there so much of this
You're all horrible people, call me normal if you want but at least I have a feelings for others you cunts.
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>in my room
>its late and my tum is grumbling
>my parents have finally gone to sleep, its 3AM
>i slip on my moms old pregnancy sweat pants for the extra inventory space
>i sneak downstairs, ready for my meal
>usually a couple loaves o' bread
>only one fresh loaf left out for me on the counter with a note
>"love you son, missed you at dinner x"
>affection is pathetic, i tear the note up, tossing it backwards slow-mo into the trash
>the wage slaves want me to lose weight, but i sneak out an extra loaf
>its frozen, but im a gamer - i need the energy
>i holster my loaves, one stored in each pocket of my sweat pants and head for the stairs
>i hear something
>i try to locate the threat, swivelling my neck as fast as i can
>its my dad
>up from his bed, in his bathrobe and looking PISSED
>i was singing the south park song pretty loud, must have awoke the beast
>i immediately engage my best evasive maneuver
>i try to slip past him, but we nudge HARD
>seems i underestimated the added thigh girth from my double loaf set-up
>the loaf splits, exploding hard, slippery frozen bread all over the stairs
>huh, just like my icy soul, dad....
>i freak out. At this point i am literally farting with fear and rage
>you can see my farts in the cold air like a dragons breath
>he tells me to calm down son
>he tries to restrain me
>we grapple on the stairs
>it has quickly become a serious duel
>hes stronger than he looks, but old, and my extra weight keeps me steady
>my mom is awake from the commotion and crying from the balcony
>"dont worry, mom, i got this"
>its a tough fight, but I deliver the final blow
>i clobber my dad on the head with my flail, the fresh loaf of bread
>he loses balance and slips on a frozen slice
>i tell him thats my trap card
>the faggot broke his ankle and my mom has to take him to hospital
>i watch from the window, waving, and eating all i want from the guild bank

lol greedy pigs wont mess next time and my dad is an ex-chad
sick people with sick imagination

you do realize these stories are made up?
>Wake up this morning to see GBP board taken down from wall
>Mummy, where are my GBP?
>You're too old for that anon, you'll be 30 next month
>Mummy, I said where are my GBP?
>*sigh* Anon, I know that you can under-
>goo goo ga ga mummy
>Anon, I'm leaving if you do this
>make poo poo in my undies
>Clean me mummy
>There are some chicken tenders in the freezer for you and some Mountain Dew and Doritos in the cabinet, the bills are payed until the end of next month
>Mummy, change my poo poo pants
>Goodbye Anon
>watch mummy walk out to the car as I stand there with poo poo running down my legs
>she backs out of the driveway and leaves
>probably just going to the store to get some more tendies
>take poopies off and throw them at the wall
>Sit on the couch and turn on my PS4
>I'm still waiting for mummy to get back from the store
>Bitch is taking forever, it's been like 3 days...
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Even though I do chuckle to these, after a while the humor wears off and I'm just left with a feeling of sadness.
Because these mothers have no escape from their 30 year old manchild, and no doubt people like this frequent 4chan, so they actually exist.

Somewhere some autist is screaming for his tendies.
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>wake up at 2 AM
>remember I've been saving my GBP for a good month now
>so so so so so hungry
>need to eat my yummy tendies
>commence the tendie call
>"rumbly rumbly in my tummy need my tendies oh so yummy!"
>hear mummy from across the hall: "anon go back to sleep sweety. mommy has to meet the servpro man in the morning"
>giggle to myself. servpro coming to clean up my play room
>mummy found my cum cum poo poo shrine
>still hungry
>"Please anon. I'm so tired!"
>fucking bitch
>run downstairs and open the silverware drawer
>this'll teach that fucking whore
>mummy comes down just in time to see me squeeze a loggy onto the forks
>death stare her
>mummy meekly opens the freezer and gets out the box

Spent the rest of the night eating tendies and rebuilding my cummy cum shrine
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>mom needs to bring food into my room because anxiety
>sheets often get dirty and my room smells like shit
>mom cleans my room on a weekly basis
>always accompany mom and hold onto cart when in grocery stores
>get what I want such as chocolates or tendies (literally)
>always fap in my underwear and toss used clothes to a corner in room
>mom comes in to wash them on weekly basis
>she always wishes me good night while she treats my normie sisters like shit
>literally mommy's good boy
>I am 27 years old and my sisters are in high school
Um... so now how you supposed to get tendies?
Thread posts: 110
Thread images: 80

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