Not you, you're fired for being a huge fag edgelord
Assistant Manager here, reminding you that we got goals to hit alright?
Also Sophie, don't tell me how to do my job.
Last I saw it, Bob was using it to staple his nuts to his desk again.
I'm gonna go rub one out in his thermos while he's distracted.
Oh, and totally unrelated, stay away from the cream filled donuts in the break room.
Excuse you? What did you just say to me? Get your cuck ass back to the manager's office so you can go suck his dick some more.
Ssshhh ... Hear that ? That's the boss who need his morning blow'
It's life's greatest mystery why these faglords ruin every thread with that banana. Maybe it's a missing chromosome that makes it funny, no one really knows for sure.
Quite possibly the un funniest thing that has ever existed. They show the banana to Guantanamo bay terrorist directly after water boarding and they immediately loose the will to live because it's so unfunny....
>> once you see the banana you loose a piece of the will to live each time.
>>it's that unfunny.
I did it last time, make Joe do it.
>work with you guys
>show up pretty much everyday high on opiates
>smoke weed at lunch, xanax and some coffee in the afternoon
>get shit done efficiently and effectively, while having a good time
>occasionally bang office co workers, but not the crazy ones because don't want to get a sexual harassment lawsuit going. Stick to the ones with low self esteem, they'll keep their mouths shut.
>kylo ren and the chick are kids of Han and Leia.
>new death star being constructed disguised as a moon.
>both the chick and the black kid are jedi
>the bad guy is Luke, who destroyed all the sith, then became one, in order to restore balance to the Force
>Luke kills Han, no one knows this, except Han himself at the moment of his death.
>Luke is the bad guy. Luke is the bad guy. Luke is the bad guy.
i'm fuckin sick of your shit. you're banned from HR department until further notice.
Hey anon did you hear about anon's wife?
I hear shes a total bitch
Fred, you're the reason we can't have nice things.
just make sure you have filled all the necessary forms for the shooting.
Well, now I know to stay away from you faggots. Have fun fucking eachother's assholes until you die of homo-disease.
Should I tell everyone that every man in China has a bigger dick than you?
Who says you can fire me? I'm the only one who does any work here. You guys are too busy jacking it to Fred's CP and fucking eachother's assholes.
I've been wondering if I should just focus on the importing and less on the exporting. Thoughts?
Alright lookie here you little shit
WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO COME IN MY GOD DAMN OFFICE?!
I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHO YOU ARE OR THE CUNT THAT ACTUALLY HIRED YOU BUT COMING INTO MY BUILDING WITH THAT 'xD' SHIT
HELL TO THE FUCK NO ANON
LET THIS BE A WARNING OR YOUR FIRED NOW GET THE FUCK OUT
Listen, faggot, bring your trips to work day isn't until next week.
And Mr. Vandelay doesn't handle dick around here.
(No, really, the doctor said that rash on his hands is contagious, so he can't even handle his own dick...)
Anyone wanna lend me a sip of their coffee?
Plans for Christmas you faggots?
It's not even 11 am yet, you dumb piece of shit. Go back to eating your cheezits at your desk, autistic cunt
Oh and another thing anon
I'm not checking shit, check them your god damn self
What a waste of dubs
hey guys Ted from accounting here whoever keeps pissing on the water fountain....let me know when so i can take pics
The fuck did you just say to me, shithead? You wanna get fired? Go back to working at McDonald's before you get thrown out of a 10 story building and get more brain damage, you fuckwit
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo
Why the fuck would I need that?
"Hi, I'm currently zooted out of my fucking skull and I do believe I'm about to squeeze your tits like a stress ball. Oh, by the way, what was your name again?"
How bout we fuck this guy with a brick? Or I mean "fuck up this guy with a brick"
Sorry just drinking my normal booze...I I mean coffee!!
Yeah shure let me kill a hooker first
Yeah true kinda like how niggers work on the street benches
Your welcome buddy here's a picture of my face while I was taking a shit
Here is that file you asked for sir,hey by the way can i ask you your opinion on something? being the only femanon working this xmas season, think i should ask the boss for a raise?
I think there's something going on in the basement guys
*goes to desk and passes out drunk and is sleeping ontop of all the work I've done like a bed*
Hey guys listen up.
The HR department has a little training with us today. They're giving a presentation on sexual harassment, diversity, and statutes of privilege in society and workplace.
Everyone, get in the conference room.
>photocopied my butt a bunch of times
>realized they automatically send to everyone in the office
none of these pictures of "female professionals" are realistic.. in reality females have to work twice as hard to assure people that they're not the retarded feminists outside shouting for female rights, so they're ALWAYS tired looking and ALWAYS have bags under their eyes... want to end your career quickly or suck a dick at lunch time? wear too much makeup or anything other than a full shirt and a long skirt.. that's how it is in finance anyways, women are looked down on MORE because the rest of the gender is retarded..
No this is Kate
>implying you'rethe boss
Stop acting all high and mighty, women have it ten times harder in the work place with men always sexually harassing us. Now where is my raise?
In the real world people dont give nearly as many fucks about gender as you think.
Oh no, anon is gone, i cry myself to sleep every night, i miss him so much;
I do not miss anon.
Nice but have you seen my card?
HEY GUYS NEED ME TO SIGN ANYTHING?
Its not gay if its a threeway
Yeah it friday and paychecks need to dispersed before lunch
>mfw the auditors are here and I'm the only one working
Dont worry I will nobly sacrifice myself for everyone