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Ask an 18 year old escort anything

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 304
Thread images: 40

Ask an 18 year old escort anything
>>
Where, how much?
>>
Can I have a discount?
>>
>>655866821
Tits or gtfo?
>>
>>655866821
how the fuck do i get to you?
>>
Escort your ass the fuck outta here
>>
>>655866977
bump
>>
>>655866907
Victoria
$300 hour
>>655866945
no
>>
>>655866977
nothing for free little man
>>
>>
Timestamp
>>
do you drive to the client's place or is the hotel room where they pay for it the place you guys meet up?
>>
>>655867420
either or
>>
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>>655867420
>>655867110
>>655866907
>>655866945
>Thinking OP isn't a 32 year old obese neckbeard living in his mom's basement...
>mfw
>>
>>655866821
Why did you start escorting?
>>
>>655867773
i make about $1,000 a day
5 days a week
do the math
>>
Why do all escorts have gunts? Youre paid well so eat healthy
>>
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>>655867773
>>655868023
>>655868025
why are you newfags so fucking autistic...
>>
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Follow the rules...
>>
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>>655866821
>>
>>655868023
1000 dicks in you to make 150k a year (if half doesnt go to an agency)
Or go to school and work hard and make that by 30 with few dicks in you
>>
>>655867731
kek
>>
>>655866821
Is this you @iampurexfluorescentflowerchild ?
>>
Can you post a timestamped picture of your breasts?
>>
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>>655867365
what's it like knowing your only worth on this planet is your pussy and when that's used up in a few years, and you have aids, and have long since blown all your money on drugs, you're going to be a worn out burlap sack that probably od's in an alley after blowing some neckbeard for heroin?
>>
>>655868315
200k i meant
>>
>>655866821
You take dick for money, what more do I need to know?
>you will never be loved.
A common whore.
>>
>>655867260
Can do much better off backpage for a 3rd of the price, Wouldn't fuck OP for free
>>
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>>655868408
That eroused me
>>
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>>655866821
tits or bullshit
>>
>>655868750
No one fucks OP... that's why he's pretending to be a female escort.
>>
>>655867304
it's not free. he got dubs, bitch.
check and respect 'em
>>
>>655867260
Does anyone actually pay $300 to spend an hour with you? Or are you doing this to try and advertise because of your stale business?
>>
>>655868940
This
>>
>>655868315
go back to school and learn how to count
>>
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>>655867304
>>
>>655868999
OP's probably a faker trying to trick dumb sobs into sending him paypal money in the hopes of getting laid.
>>
>>655867134
>Escort your ass the fuck outta here
/thread
>>
>>655867134
10/10
>>
show us your cock
>>
>>655866821
hello newfag here are you happy?
>>
>>655866821
trap... had her
>>
>>655867260
as someone who has been romantically involved with an escort much more attractive than you, you're bullshitting.
>>
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>>655867134
kek
>>
>>655866821
would you sleep with a 35 year old guy?
>>
>>655866821
Hi OP
There is a lot of debate in Ireland at the moment about criminalising the buyers. Its total nonsense of course and wont make any difference at all.

But there was a programme on about trafficked women. Now - I love a beautiful 18yo escort as much as anybody. But I am seriously put off seeing how these girls are treated no better than cattle (actually worse).

How do you deal with the risks of being assaulted by redneck thugs and pimps?
>>
>>655869393
very
>>
>>655869573
Dude really?
>>
>>655869507
victoriabackpages
>>
>>655869551
if you mean have sex, of course
>>
>>655869676

Yeah - its puts me off paying for sex if I know some poor girl has been enslaved by Russian gangsters.

And it appears to be a MAJOR problem in Europe.

Can I take it you don't give a fuck?
>>
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>>655866821

How much to escort an old floppy dog to the vet?
>>
>>655869573
it's simple
i'm Canadian
any problems I call the cops
>>
>>655867134
#rekt
>>
Hi kelly
>>
>>655869927
So no pimps or trafficked women in Canada?
>>
>>655866821
OP
>pic related
Fucking new fags
TIMESTAMP
TITS
>>
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>>655866821
>stop lurking
>get that ass on the street
>
>profit
>>
>>655870002
hi
>>
>>655866821
timestamp, tits.
>>
>>655869847
You may. But please don't humanize whores. Next to addicts, they are the lowest of the low.
>>
>>655870083
OP
>>
Do you do it to stay in control of feeling sexually dominated by men?

Do you do it just for the money?

Do you consider the impact it may have on possible future relationships, your current family and any possible children you may have?

Ideally I disagree with any form of monetising pleasure and happiness but this world is far from ideal.
>>
>>655866821
May I ask for timestamp tits?
>>
>>655870173
You're a thick cunt.

Fuck off back to your bunker.
>>
>>655870036
maybe pimps on the street
i'm not a street prostitute
i'm an escort
big difference
I don't do drugs
>>
>>655866821
How does it feel to just be starting your adult life and already ruining it?
>>
>>655866821
hows the lazy eye treating you?
>>
>>655870251
Bunker? Bro, I'm just telling you how it is. No one I work or associate with has any respect for whores.
>why would you?
>>
>>655870284
Making $250,000 a year is not what I would consider, ruining it.
>>
Anyone in this thread who posted anything other than tits or gtfo is a fucking moron.
>>
>>655870214
What a lot of pseudo intellectual bullshit...!
Disagree with monetising pleasure?
What about a rollercoaster?
Jesus....
>>
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Like anybody with a brain would believe you without a timestamp
>>
>>655866821
tits or gtfo
>>
>>655870260
>i'm an escort
>big difference
A prostitute by any other name...
>>
>>655870441
> They are human beings
> They are not forcing anybody to use their services
> They are harmless to you
>>
>>655870371
?
>>
>>655868408
Truth.
>>
I've been to a couple of escorts and want one of them to lick my asshole. Most girls are turned off by that shit. Know of anywhere I can find a girl down for that shit?
>>
>>655870912
your mother
>>
>>655870733
I know they are harmless, and I ain't mad. I don't hate them, bit I don't give them any more respect than a burger flipper.
Yay, she makes good money, but so fuckin what? More to life than money, she has no self respect.
>how can I respect someone that doesn't respect themselves?
>>
>Ideally

Please don't intimidate me with insults. I know a escort/stripper and I would like to learn more about the industry, she means a great deal to me. Why would you make a QA thread on this image forum if you didn't intend to answer real questions?
>>
>>655870989

Tried already. Now she ain't talking to me. Fucking cunt.
>>
Anyone know any midgets or younger age girls I can rent for an hour? Live in San Diego
>>
>>655866821
For an escort your sure as hell one ugly bitch i mean yer ok for some ghetto whore but an ascort gtfo
>>
>>655871381
Then you already know to go to TJ for that shit
>>
>>655870791
wanna work for me? I may or may not be a year younger
>>
>>655867260
You have to be fucking mentally ill to give a chick $300 to fuck her. Christ, use the fucking internet and get a girl for free you lazy sacks.

If you stop paying these girls then they'll put out for free too.
>>
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>>655866907>>655866945>>655867110>>655867134>>655867145>>655867260>>655867304>>655867420>>655867604>>655867773>>655868023>>655868025>>655868296>>655868315>>655868370>>655868384>>655868408>>655868451>>655868678>>655868807>>655868940>>655868999>>655869047>>655869149>>655869172>>655869208>>655869319>>655869367>>655869393>>655869457>>655869507>>655869547>>655869551>>655869573>>655869640>>655869676>>655869725>>655869788>>655869847>>655869904>>655869927>>655869994>>655870002>>655870036>>655870088>>655870090>>655870173>>655870214>>655870251>>655870260>>655870284>>655870371>>655870441>>655870494>>655870547
>>655870681
There are rules here shame on you faggots for not lurking for at least six months prior to posting.
All these posters are cancer.
there is only one thing to say and that is tits or GTFO.
If no tits sage.
>>
>>655871508
Don't know any midgets or age related girls in tj.

Usually go to Hong Kong and bust a nut, grab a taco and head back
>>
>>655871573
jk im 21
>>
>>655866821
What kind of diseases have you contracted? and Do you enjoy the emptiness that is your life?
>>
>>655871573
i work for myself
not interested
>>
>>655866821
i wouldn't pay you 10 dollars a year bitch

also,

tits or gtfo.
>>
>>655867304
>a hooker
>having room to talk down to anyone
>>
Was being replaced by the Ford Focus hurtful?
>>
>>655871717
Go to hong kong LOL.
>not knowing Hong Kong is one of the most expensive places in Asia.
>>
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>>655871689
this
>>655866821
>>
>>655871870
thats not what i meant.
>>
>>655868234
Yes sir, he has a point there.
>>
>>655871636
I agree.
But that's reason to insult or behave like a redneck.
>>655871043
Respect is what it is all about. Her choice of career is a terrible one, but don't insult the girl.
>>
>>655871992
i could work for you, what kind of work do you need
>>
WE MUST UNITE AS MEN TO PUT A STOP TO THIS IMMORAL INDUSTRY. GET A HOLD OF YOURSELVES AND YOUR DICK AND STOP LETTING YOURSELVES BE CONTROLLED BY ANIMALISTIC DESIRES.
>>
>>655871983
B8 m8
>>
victoria australia or victoria bc canada?
>>
>>655872063
not tits, no timestamp, no respect.
>>
>>655872147
No. It's fun.
>>
which suburb do you live in?
>>
>>655872147
So don't use their service.
But don't judge them or those that use them.
I love prostitutes. Best looking women I have ever fucked.
I am concerned about their health and safety, that's why legalisation is the way to go. Its in society's best interests.

> But you ARE RIGHT dude...

In an ideal world we would not make use of their services.
>>
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Where are the fucking bananas when they are needed. Fucking faggots chat up a 38 year old pedo neckbeard pretending to be a hooker but derail YLYL Threads. You are not cool for being here Kill Yourselves
>>
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>>
>>655866821
>>655870248
>Ask anything
>Asked
>Not delivered

OP is a faggot, as usual. Abandon thread.
>>
>>655866821
Holy shit, tineye turned up 0 hits. OP may be legit!
>>
>>655870494
lol hooker thinks she's gonna be netting a quarter mil per year. your pimp should write childrens books, he sounds like a master of tall tales
>>
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>>655866821
have u gone bare back sex with any clients?
>>
>>
>>655872200
canada
>>
>>655872063
>but don't insult the girl.
She SHOLUD be shamed for her choice though. Prostitution is not a socially acceptable industry. Piss poor life choice and you want me to tell her otherwise?
>Son, you've got some shit to learn
>>
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Bye Bye
>>
>>655872084
handy work
>>
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>>
>>655866821
your super cute, do you cater to women at all?
>>
I like paying for sex. Every bitch has a price. It's fun to watch a bitch ho suck this daddy dick for $50
>>
>>655872746
like?
>>
>>655871407
yes i'm sure you've had lots of experience with plenty of more attractive women, guy.
Way to make her look like a fool!
>>
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>>
>>655866821
You do footjobs?
>>
>>655872689
gonzales bay reporting
>>
>>655872292
>No. It's fun
Said Hitler about persecuting and killing Jews.
>No. It's fun
Said Daesh about enslaving nations with fear and death
>No. It's fun
Said me about having sex for pleasure.
>>
>>655872601
i've been doing this for 3 years
this year I will hit the quarter mil mark
>>
>>655872642
never!!!
>>
>>655872700
I am not your son - I am old enough to be your father.
I am saying - Respect her as a human being. Don't insult her or want to harm her like some hillbilly neckbeard.
Now Fuck off back to your "great life choices"
>>
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>>
>>655872897
so you started hooking at age 15?
>>
>>655868315
Or by 30 she could have made 180k... with... 12000 dicks, but so what, if you could get paid for pounding pussy you would.
>>
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>>655872769
since now we're all liars
>>
>>655872944
thats weird ive fucked like 4/5 hookers raw and nutted inside them
>>
>>655872897
Is that an achievement?
>still a whore.
>>
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>>655866821
instagram24 com/iampurexfluorescentflowerchild
>>
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>>655866977
The only thing thag matters here.
>>
>>655873089
doubt it's even here, probably some fat neckbearded client she rejected.
>>
>>655867731
Truth.
>>
>>655872769
thanks and yes I do
>>
>>655872881
100% retard guarantee
>>
>>655873210
this
>>
>>655872952
I'm 38 and never needed an escort. I have self respect. I also think prostitution is a victimless crime and should be regulated, but that don't mean I should respect them.
>>
>>655872859
I've never been asked
>>
>>655873038
But don't forget you gotta deal with the uglies too. So no, I won't pound pussy even if I'm paid for it. Maybe I'm just old-fashioned but I think intercourse requires a lot of feelings and emotions and it's not just all about a pretty face and pleasure alone.
>>
>>655872825
"man" i think not Im lesbian but not that it matters ...it still doesnt change the fact she is a typical skank here in canada there a dime a dozan ....she actually reminds me of one of them mexican sluts who come over here just to spread aids to willing little men like yourself ;)
>>
>>655873436
post feet nao!
>>
>>655873014
please go back to school and learn how to count
>>
>>655873433
so you think it's victimless and should be legal, but only for those without self respect?
>>
>>655866821
Do you swallow?
>>
>>655873057
Enjoy your AIDS.
>>
>>655873498
1: i never used the word man, lol
2" it's they're, not there, your argument is much weaker if you are illiterate
3: nice come back bro !
4: you're not a girl unless you can prove it with tits and timestamp, otherwise gtfo
>>
>>655866821
How does aids feel?
>>
This is a message to all newfags and cancer currently killing /b/: What the fuck do you think this is, some place where you can just waltz in unannounced and be received with arms wide open? WELL FUCK THAT! This is motherfucking /b/, bitch. WE call the shots. WE ALWAYS get shotgun. WE don't give a fuck who you are, because WE are infinitely more important than you. WE are always first in line. WE rob banks, charities, and ANYONE else who fucking pisses us off. This place is more than just a place, faggot, it is an IDEOLOGY. And this ideology says you need to GET THE FUCK OUT. No one here will ever like you. WE have already established cliques, slop-worthy-hoes, and prop-worthy-bros, GOT IT? WE are the ideology of elitism, exploitation, and lulz. This isn't a fucking game, kid, so don't try to tag along. You're talking to people who have been around the block AND THEN SOME. WE pioneered class. WE made 'cool' cool. And you? What have you done? Jerked off in the shower? WE INVENTED JERKING OFF IN THE SHOWER, you stupid bitch. There is a clear-cut, defined, infinitely thick WALL between you and us. WE built the wall that keeps you fags OUT. So don't try to act like you know what the fuck is going on, because you don't. You just do NOT. But you really think you can compete with /b/? LOL WOW Don't make me start flaming you. Are you forgetting who we are? WE are the ones who film people like you getting fucking destroyed by us. WE will rip your ASSHOLE out of your fucking rectum, STITCH IT on top of your pitiful dick hole, and then fuck you in the VAGINA we just made for you. SO WE MAKE YOU INTO A BITCH. Do you get it now? This site isn't a game, it isn't a place to 'chill' with your fags, and it isn't some fucking haven where people like you can get acceptance from people like US. IT ISN'T GOING TO HAPPEN. JUST GTFO.
>>
Op, so how do u live with yourself? Knowing your parents that worked hard to raise u, now feel ashamed of you being banged for money? Your family also uses 4chan u know ? ... I think uncle dan might try to buy you, and I think your shameless enough to do it. #NoHeaven for you.
>>
>>655873543
op post says she's 18, then she said she's been doing this for 3 years

what the fuck are you talking about, faggot?
>>
>>655873543
OP says shes an 18 year old hooker. 18-3 = 15
unsure if shit bait or autist cunt
>>
>>655873543
Answer would be 15.. 18yr old minus 3 is 15.
>>
>>655873607
I think it's victimless and should be legal for anyone, but don't expect me to be the least bit impressed that that's the line of work you chose. Kinda like a used car salesman, good for you having a job, but its still a slimey line of work.
>>
>>655873679
i do
>>
Tits time stamp, not optional ya lil ratchet
>>
>>655866821
Why are whores like you so ugly, i like classy women
>>
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>>655867134
anon is godly

please someone screencap this thread and this answer
>>
Hello,
A few months ago, the YSflight community was in a mess, wityh flaming trolling and general spamming being the nor on a destroyed YSPilots. Just as hope seemed lost, this forum arived. YSFlight Head-Quarters. It was a beacon of hope in a sea of rage and hate. But all to soon it became apparent that little had actually changed, trolls were still there and the troubles were not gone, merely sleeping.
When I joined YSFHQ I believed that this was the way forward, with a large moderation team and a forum set up to make the most of he good things in YSFlight. But it was soon clear that this was far from the truth.
In may I looked towards the world of virtual airlines, and I sw that there was only one airline in existence. I thought this was an appalling sate for this to be in, so I decided to create Air Terranean, to show that you can create virtual airlines on Headquarters. We soon grew and recieved out certification in record time, clearly showing that it was possible to do this. Now back then, we and our friends in the other VA did not get on too well, but we resolved our arguments each time they happened.

>cont
>>
>>655873995
do you think a quarter mil will be enough money for you to buy some dignity back as a human being? or will you be a worthless piece of meat from now on?
>>
>>655866821
Was school tooexpensive?e
>>
>>655873913
you fucking retard
16
17
18
now please go kill yourself
>>
So.... Where can I find a 14yr old prostitute in Boston?
>>
>>655874328
Where can I find one in San Diego
>>
Paying for prostitution is charity
>>
>>655870494
>$250,000 a year
Canadian money... what is that like 7 real dollars?
>>
>>655873791
my parents died in a car crash when i was very young
i've lived in foster homes all my life till i went out on my own at 16
>>
>>655874429
this
>>
>>655874191

Then soemthing else came along that would threatena nd then destroy all that hard work. This was a threat I had not expected and was more damaging as a result. The founder and Administrator of YSFHQ, Iceman, intentionally ruining the reputation of these two airlines and asking them to go to war on each other! Almost everyone on both sides refused, saying that this was an argument between 4 people, not two entire airlines. Still he kept it up, knowing that he was damaging both airlines, and the Air Terranean, being new, would struggle to stay alive.
At this point the corruption of YSFHQ became apparent, as Turbofan, the then Civilian Head of YSFHQ was leaving due to the fact that his life required more of his time for work. So a new moderator had to be found. As you will see in my last paragraph, I sauid almost everyone disagreed with Iceman's call for a war. But there was one who awnted it, more than anything else. He wanted a war between these Airlines, despite what it would do. And because he agreed with Iceman and went against eveyone else and reason, so it was that Midnight Rambler was chosen to head the civillian section.
Ok, things were still going along fine, and MR was doing a decent job. But then we get to the point that truly reveals how this forum works.
In august, I figured that I would soon not be able to run Air terranean, owing to the fact I would start my A-Levels. As a result I handed it to the person who promised me that he was "100% commited" to Air Terranean and could do the job. I gave it to Fariiniq. However, as soon as I did this, and he acknowledged.
>>
>>655874317
I love seeing people like this because all of us together can laugh.
Retards break the gender, race, religion barrier and provide comic relief to all.
>>
Im only donating out of goodwill and to help her eat, any sex that happens its just a show of appreciation from her
>>
>>655874317
according to this guy, 18-1 =18

lol you shit troll faggot
>>
>>655874253
no i'm in school now
>>
>>655866821
Oldest guy you've fucked and kinkiest thing you've done?
>>
ESCORT :D the classy way of saying hooker without saying jt :D
>>
>>655866821
Get your chlamydia infected cunt out of here, whore
>>
>>655874661
Whore school?
>>
>>655866821
What's your favorite food? Is it ho cakes?
>>
>>655874479
why don't you find yourself a sugar daddy who will take care of you instead of whoring yourself out to hundreds of dirty gross fucks. honestly, you should consider this. there are shitloads of wealthy horny old pathetic cunts who would fight over who gets to give you cash for a little bit of lovin, and it wouldn't be nearly as degrading to you. from gonzales bay
>>
>>655874809
oh man i can't breathe pls
>>
>>655874317
15+3=18. 18-3=15.
>>
>>655866821
Do you own a ho bag?
>>
>>655866821
where is your cock?and why no timestamp this is a gay board gtfo
>>
>>655874728
guy was business man early 50's
paid me $1,000 for 2 hrs

kinkiest was a guy wanted me to piss down his throat so i did
took about 3 minutes
$200
>>
>>655874609

. He vanished, he was absent for considerable time and left us leaderless, thus damaging ATVA as a whole, giving the idea that it was inactive.
Then He comes back and decides that, being inactive a while, and not actually doing what he said he would, he decided to declare this airline "dead", calling its name "mud" and that the only hope for "a fresh start" would be to leave this ruin and join his own VA. I later discovered that he had been planning to create his own airline since before he accepted the position of CEO, and before he declared that the was "100% commited to Air Terranean".
Now, he convinces everyone in Air terranean to join, and they all believe him that it is dead, even though we are logging many flight hours. So he comes onto HQ, destroys Air Terranean's own website, and delcares that he has legitiamtely opened his own airline. An HQ mod tells me to post on here my complaint, and Midnight Rambler, the supposedly fair and impartial person who was chosen for the postition of head admin for the civillian section, decides to delete my post and give me a warning for "flaming". Several times I am told that I was complaining the "wrong way", so I ask him how should I complain then, if this is the case.

>cont
>>
>>655874809
University
>>
>>655874178
too bad they don't like you
>>
>>655866821
At this time of year, when you walk through a mall and hear Santa going, "Ho, ho, ho," do you think he's talking to you?
>>
>>655874954
lol 1 bill
go away you poor lysol drinker
>>
>>655874479
So.... u figured the best way to make up for your parents lost love, is by getting fucked in the ass? And thats what u live for? How many of your foster brothers fucked you to make u ok with what you're doing?
>>
>>655866821
howd you get the lazy eye?
do you have a feminine penis or a clitdick?
>>
>>655875013
To add insult to injury, All of HQ's mods and admins decide that despite everything, and the fact I have complained, Fariiniq is the good guy, so anything I say is from now on "flaming". When I made a complaint I get warnings, one of which was becasue of the "abuse" I have sent to Midnight Rambler over the PMs. BTW, I made a few notes on how he moderated, and accused him of not being an impartial moderator, which I believe is legitimate on this forum, considering there is a whole section for people tp truly flame against the staff!
When I make a complaint against the fact that despite all this Iceman has still refused to remove his lie on the blog, that we are at war, I get another warning for flaming.
People, let me ask you, what kind of system decides what you can say and not say based on how well you bow down to the chief admin? Who, when somebody disagrees, places several warnings, (one of which was just for makiing a post which did "not contribute" to the topic as such), brings them within an inch of being banned and lets the person who took away what they had worked for get away with it?

>cont
>>
>>655875049
Whore University!?!?!? What's the mascot, the Fightin' Sluts?
>>
>>655866821
I'm interested in what got you involved? Also as a escort, what are your rules for contracting out and do you answer to abpimp or protector?
>>
>>655874661
Ho ho ho....Santa is cuming for you
>>
>>655875007
How did it feel fucking a guy older than your dad?
>>
>>655875057
im younger than you and make more than you ?
>>
>>655875143

I speak out and look, I am on probation, my life on YS has been destroyed and anything I worked towards has beentrodden on and ground to dust. I got a two day ban on the Team speak for asking Fariiniq a question, which was nothing to do with any issues we have. Fariiniq also decides that he hates me to the extent, that I am not allowed to do anyhting on Teamspeak, and that abny request I make is "flaming" and a bannable offence.
So people, This shows you that in the end, it does not matter how much you contribute to YS, how much enthusiasm you have, or what you have done for the community. If you dare speak out against this dictatorship, you will be silenced. I send this message to all of you this way, for all of my posts are moderated before anybody else can see them. So this complaint for sure, would be blocked from the public view. People, you can try all you like, but If you are not an old friend then that is it.
I know that I am not the only person who is infuriated with this system, far from it. There is a large part of the YSFlight population who are also angry at teh way that this corrupt regime operates, and would glady remove it if possible.
By the time many of you have seen this, it is likely I will have been banned. If so then this will show how dictatorial the admins are, and how they dslike the truth, settling for only waht they want to hear.
The truth after all, is far too...
Inconvenient.
>>
>>655866821
I hope you contract AIDS and become addicted to crack soon, slut.

How does it feel knowing that you have no worth as a human being?
>>
>>655866821
Do you do Russian? COB? MSOG? BBBJTC? CIM? Trips to Greece? GFE?
>>
File: 20150719_114436.jpg (62KB, 960x720px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
20150719_114436.jpg
62KB, 960x720px
>>
Earl Sandwich watched with an anxious expression as his family, which consisted of Mrs. Sandwich, Peanut the dog, and Grape the cat, who was listed last because the writer of this story doesn’t like her very much.
When Earl saw the family car drive off for some unstated reason for an exaggerated period of time, he nearly shat his tan slacks. “WOO HOO!” He shouted, and dove to his cell phone.
He immediately reached the contacts list and selected a contact named “PLAYMATE”. It let out that frickin’ annoying dial tone for a few seconds before the contact answered.
“Hello?” Tiger Arbelt answered his phone. Meanwhile, one of the fat, ugly, fans of Malak’s fan-fictions gasped at the sudden plot twist. Then she farted and read on, reaching for a bowl of cheese puffs.
“Ti-ti?” Earl responded. “It’s Earl.”
“OH!” Tiger exclaimed in the girliest way imaginable. “Wassup, mai boo?”
“Come on over and I’ll show you…”
Tiger giggled in a rather irritation fashion. It was like the sound of a sheet of metal rubbing against a giant cheese grater. “Okay, anything you say, pookie bear.”

>cont
>>
What if I want to pay for you OP?
>>
>>655875384
timestamp
>>
>>655875359
not bbbj cim
>>
>>655875218
no.
>>
>>655875448
Look at the filename, shitdick.
>>
Do u have any younger girls that work with you OP? ;) I likem real young
>>
>>655875420
well then txt me
>>
>>655875474
Greek is extra? How much?
>>
Meanwhile, Gman was walking down the road when a car struck him, killing Gman instantly.
“Did we just-“ Grape began to ask.
“NO!” Mrs. Sandwich shouted, and her head grew twice as large as she floored the gas pedal and drove off to their unstated location.

Tiger was back at the Sandwich residence and was already French-kissing Earl in his hairy, bearded mouth. It was not stated WHERE they were exactly in the house, but they were in there somewhere…
“Oh.” Tiger exclaimed. “You taste delicious.”
Earl laughed and showed his vampire fangs, because he was a vampire. Not a REAL vampire, but one of those stupid ones from “Twilight”.
“Thank you.” He said as he horribly sparkled in the sunlight, blinding some of Malak’s fans.
“Excuse me as I slip into something more comfortable.” Tiger shouted as he did a back-flip and landed into a nearby bathroom.
When he came out, he was wearing the dress Beatrice from “Umineko No Naku Koro Ni” wore, complete with the flower hairpiece and everything.
“Tits.” Earl said seductively as he lifted Tiger up and carried him to the bedroom.
“Oh Earl.” Tiger said in a whiny, obnoxious voice.

Meanwhile, Bill woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one slimy box that looked like a gun.
Then Bill noticed that Zoey was out of bed too. She must not have been able to wait for her presents either.
Bill thought that he would surprise Zoey. Maybe even sneak up behind her and jump her on her bloody penis. That always made Zoey hot.
Bill crept angrily down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its old lights, and the presents, heaped up huskily, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Zoey. Kissing someone.
>>
>>655875448
thats all you fuckers are getting
>>
>>655875384
Are those red pimples, sypphilis ?
>>
>>655875384
Tits timestamp and face you fucking fake
>>
>>655866821
How much for rough anal? And light BDSM?
>>
>>655875601
another $100
>>
>>655875448
fucking GTFO newfag

Timestamp NOW

Why isn't someone doxing this whore
>>
>>655875531
you do realise you can just fucking edit the file name..
>>
File: 565.png (963KB, 1126x434px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
565.png
963KB, 1126x434px
op is a faggot,the girl in the picture is named Ashley
>>
>>655871573
>Canadough
>>
>>655866821
What about a rusty trombone? Blumpkin? Hot Karl? Alabama Hot Pocket? Dutch rudder?
>>
We care not for whores here. We are the highest of wizards who can make your life a living hell.
>>
>>655875602
Bill was so angry, he picked up a ammo from a table and threw it sexily on the tank.
They both looked around.
"Zoey, you sweaty zombie!" Bill yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Bill looked and then rubbed his leg and looked again. It was Santa Claus.
"Let me explain," Zoey said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course she had to give me a kiss. And what a wet kiss it was."
"Well, I suppose," Bill said firmly. "If he was under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be muscly."
That seemed reasonable. Bill went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.
Santa was the best kisser ever, like a hot molotov fire burning in the moonlight. He made Bill's eye feel all hard.
"You see?" Zoey said gently and Bill saw. So they had a threeway.
Everybody's presents were late.

As Earl threw Tiger on the bed and exposed his disco stick. Tiger positioned himself and wrapped his arms, I repeat, ARMS, around the phallus and began sucking.
“Oh GOD…” Earl shouted. “OH GOD!! OneOneOneOne” Earl shrilled as he splattered cum all over Tiger’s face.
“Enough talk.” Tiger said, positioning his tailhole in front of Earl’s dick. “Take me.” He moaned.

Stu made chocolate pudding for his niece so much, it soon possessed his mind, and all what he could think about was chocolate pudding.
His wife tried to snap him out of it, but she was not successful.
When Stu offered the pudding to his niece, she said she was hungry. So for some reason Stu went back downstairs to make more chocolate pudding, and when he brought it back upstairs, he finally snapped, and screamed at the top of his lungs.
He then began imaging strange songs in his head.
“Anata wa ima doko de nani wo shite imasu ka? Kono sora no tsuzuku basho ni imasu ka?”
>>
>>655875754
No, really? Wow, newfriend, you must be smart.
>>
>>655875806
op dun goofed
>>
>>655866821
What's it like knowing no one will ever love you?

What's it like knowing no one respects you?

What's it like knowing you'll probably kill yourself before hitting 30?

What's it like, never filling that void, the one deep inside your heart?
>>
>>655875602
The sex between the vampire Earl Sandwich and the canine Tiger Arbelt was a truly disturbing sight. It was horrible, capable of driving anyone who saw such an abomination mad. The women ran in terror, men did their best to try and stop it, but to no avail. Eventually, the desperate townsfolk called upon a specialist to deal with this situation.
They received two.

Ichigo Kurosaki and Ronove approached the two and tried to stop them, but Ichigo was immediately disintegrated but the sheer force of the sex, and Ronove had no choice but to leave.
Eventually, the two “lovers” stopped fucking, and piece was restored to the land. The rest of the sandwich clan returned to the house, completely oblivious to what had happened despite what the other townsfolk told them.
“Let’s go play outside Peanut.” Grape said. But in reality, they went into Peanut’s room and fucked.

Meanwhile, a small band of angry fans stormed into OP’s private chambers and began to beat him with red hot iron rods.
>>
Vancouver here, willing to pay your way here and put you up for a week. Let's play.
>>
>>655875806
/thread
>>
>>655876092
>Beta max
>>
>>655876011
>What's it like, never filling that void, the one deep inside your heart?

She's just filling that void in her puss.
>>
>>655875754
And you must be a faggot that like talking to men pretending to be women
>>
>>655875806
How'd you find? I ran her pics on tineye and got zip.
>>
>>655876153
It's a big void
>>
>>655876092
DUDE REALLY?!?
>sad
>>
>>655876135
Prefer VHS
>>
>>655875733
How much for u to lick my asshole then tongue kiss me?
>>
>>655876135
No, nobody misses dead hookers.
>>
Where did it all go wrong?
>>
>>
>>655876218
Son, thats the hacker 4Chan
>>
>>655876218
Thats why it's tits or GTFO you fucking little faggot now go kill yourself
>>
>>655876266
Except their kids. But who cares about them.
>>
>>655876356
I sence you're a hookers kid?
>>
How do u not have a pimp? U seem like an easy target for some nigger to make $ off your white girl ass
>>
>>655876419
No. Just a dead beat moms kid.
>>
>>655876356
son of a whore confirmed
>>
>>655875965
iv'e listed as kelly on my lastest ad asshole
>>
>>655876470
I'll pay you if you watch me rape her....
>>
>>655876298
OP you pissed off 4chan man. You better turn off all your electronics immediately.
>>
>>655871689
>Not reverse image searching
Obvious bait thread obvious
>>
There's some shit going on /b/ right now. It's like a Civil War going on /b/. And there is two sides, oldfags and newfags, and newfags have go to go. Anytime oldfags want to have a good time ignorant ass newfags fucking it up. Can't do shit! Can't do SHIT, without some ignorant ass fucking it up! Can't do nothing! Can't make some original content thread open more than 100 posts. Grand opening...grand closing. Can't see cool posts on the front page... WHY? Because newfags are talking about THE BEST.
Discuss.
>>
>>655876580
How much?
>>
>>655876461
No niggers in victoria
>>
>>655866821
Hows it feel to know you are just going to be seen as a "party girl" for your whole life?
>>
>>655875560
Whats your number or whatever so I can contact you
>>
>>655876645
I'll start at $150, willing to negotiate depending on how far I have to travel.
>>
>>655876599
It's not my job faggot my job is too say TITS or GTFO just like you.
>>
File: OP.jpg (71KB, 640x640px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
OP.jpg
71KB, 640x640px
Check me out guys!! I'm OP too! AMA!

Am I a giant faggot? yes

next question?
>>
>>655876788
911
>>
File: 55555.jpg (537KB, 1101x913px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
55555.jpg
537KB, 1101x913px
apperently she was (is)? a cam whore, but was pregnant??,her insta is weird mostly all photos are filtered and cant see shit
>>
>>655874809
btfo
>>
>>655876812
meh. Get your weight up kid then pay me 10g's and you can do whatever you want to her. Hell, Livestream it if you want
>>
>>655876836
>>
No one cares about your life choices, or zero self worth.

Get back to sucking dick ugly whore
>>
So like...... wtf?
>>
>>655875806
^this
>>
>>655877185
Wozie! much beuty how much for dis pucci
>>
I wanna fap but it aint working out here....
>>
>>655876788
look at the ad
>>
Im still waiting OP.... is your pussy clean and shaven or what? Show it
>>
>>655877455
dubs gets half off
>>
>>655877638
What ad?
>>
>>655866821

You have a 15 min deal?
>>
>>655866821
you don't have a dad do you
>>
>>655877736
If she doesn't have a feminine penis im not interested.
>>
>>655866821
My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hun. Do you?
>>
>>655867134
Rekd op like a whore..oh wait
>>
>>655878253
You don;t have an anaconda. You have a garden snake probably
>>
>>655866821
Wheres your ad? I want to stick my hard cock inside your warm wet pussy
>>
File: 20150731_111706.jpg (58KB, 540x960px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
20150731_111706.jpg
58KB, 540x960px
>>655878253
>>
>>655869927
>Canadian
>Police
Thats a fucking joke They going to shoot hot maple syrup at you?
>>
>>655878393
Show me your tits and watch my anaconda spit.
>>
Who fucked you first and how old were you? Before being fucked what other things did you do, and at what age?
>>
>>655878608
look back in the thread
i'm not saying it again
>>
>>655878652
My anaconda declines.
>>
>>655878704
I'll show you my dick and spit on it for lube in ya butt
>>
Backpages
http://victoria.backpage.com/FemaleEscorts/?layout=gallery
$300 Canadian = $224 American.... Still that better be some tight cunt & mouth like a vacuum cleaner
>>
>>655872952
She is a common street whore. If there was a choice between saving my $150 headphones or her life, I'd not think twice and pick the former.
Being a degenerate has no redeeming value.
>>
>>655878748
foster brother
i was 13
he taught me to suck a year b4
>>
>>655878856
You're a computer, how did you get those?
>>
>>655878856
You sound gay.
>>
Are u wearing a wig? Looks strange
Thread posts: 304
Thread images: 40



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