Yup at least for now. I am apparently getting a talking to tomorrow due to a mistake I made at work. I can get why my boss is annoyed at it but honestly it made little to no difference in the grand scheme of things I think she is just being... passive aggressive.
I cheated on my fiance recently. I tried my hardest not too. I have a naturally flirty personality with women and this one responded way too strong and fast. Before I knew it we were fucking, no condom but she is on birth control, she says she's clean but I can't have sex with my gf because I'm afraid I might of caught something. I've known this girl for a while and know she's only had a few partners but in still paranoid. I feel guilty also and it's growing worse now that me n my fiance are getting closer.
Yeah I mean I know it's not the end of the world it's just... difficult. I've got little to no money saved up, I'm going to be unemployed by the 18th of December so I better find one soon. Thanks for the support anon.
Life is bittersweet comrades. Socially and artistically I'm doing very well. Got a great gf, three awesome bands going, one is almost done writing it's first album, there's a ton of great events that I'll be going out to with friends. Really anything that could be me happy is going down.
I have everything materialistically, and more, that I could want. I don't sit around wanting some stupid junk, it's really a great feeling.
Unfortunately college is really destroying me though. It's overly stressful and time consuming. I've put on weight, missed seeing friends, destroyed my bank account, deprives me from working, deprives me of sleep. I don't know what I want to do with my life so I just took up being a science major and hope it lands me a decent job.
Then there's all the world's shit that goes down and there's no escape from it. The more you age the more people expect you to be involved with it, but apparently no matter what your opinion is you're always dead wrong. There's no way out and no feeling of security.
Despite all the great things I have going for me I contemplate suicide more and more...
I know that feeling about collage, I spent 3 years trying to work out what I wanted to do, spent I think close to 7+ grand and nothing to show for it. Watching my mates get ruined by their uni work which sucks, none of them are enjoying it. Hopefully something will come out good for them in the end.
This whole ISIS thing is annoying as fuck too. Everyone arguing with what to do and I just wish it would all go away.
I know I'm a dick, if anything I really wasn't planning for any of this to happen. Afterward I talked to the girl and told her that we have to stop talking and having any connection with each other because I love my fiance. She agreed and said it was a one time thing and we haven't talked since.
>back story >my fiance cheated in the past also
It's always been in the back of my mind and it always made me feel depressed. I know two wrongs don't make a right but fuck.
>>653573385 Pretty fucked up brah. I absolutely ruined a great friendship and almost got one of my close friends to commit suicide due to my selfishness. I didnt even know. If youre for some reason out there reading this, you know who you are. Im so fucking sorry. I cant say it enough.
im with a girl i dont even love because ive been with her for two years on and off and feel like if i left id be alone. Im in love with this girl id had a thing with before but it just kind of fizzled out. It seems like she likes me sometimes but others she seems to just pretend im not here. I've done things with her before (date, make out, she sent me nudes) >tldr; with a girl i cant stand >girl i do want probably doesnt even want me i have no clue what to do And then on top of that ive been dissociating a lot lately and just feeling generally shitty
Feeling depressed cause of the shitty community college I attend, instructors (basically professors but prefer to be called instructors) are complete shit and it's my second time trying to get grades I need for the program I want to take out of town. If nothing changes might drop out and join the army to finally get my life going. But in better news I got a raise at my job which is nice
Sitting in my car at Walmart parking lot, thinking where my life took a shit and dive. Not saying I didn't put up a fight but when your dad is an abusive hitler and short temper, and my mom who won't stand up for herself even though I've taken a few cigarette burns and whips for her she still wants to stay with him. A brother who puts me down when all I try to do is form some sort of bond and same with my sister. I wanna run away and just forget them but every time I see my mom I just can't wtf is wrong me. Should I just leave and not look back /b/ros I think today is my last night in this world I can't take it
>>653573385 7000€ in bills for health insurance (since it's mandatory in germany and I didn't tell the government I don't have a job in time).
I have absolutely no fucking idea what to do. Managed to struggle through horrible depression over the last two years and now starting to get proper work and some earth under my feet, and suddenly, it might all be taken away from me again.
I can't fucking deal with this and have no idea how to. And there's no one who can help me either. Fucking Germany.
>>653576369 Indirectly. They were really sensitive and alone. They said something that offended me, so I stopped talking to them.They didnt do it but they tried. I didnt think I meant that much to them...
>>653576498 This is something I learned really early: You owe nothing to no one. Other people will choose to stay in shitty situations, and with shitty people, but you have the power to just leave and make your own life. I did that since my stepfather terrorized me. Left at age 14 for boarding school, then spent a few years travelling and working on the side, now in the capital and working as video editor. There's probably a lot of anger in you. You can use that. Later on, you can deal with your personal demons, but for now, just getting away and living your life instead of living for others will do wonders, trust me.
>>653576552 you're right /b/ro. Its just difficult leaving when youve been with someone as long as i have. And then when i do leave she finds some way of talking to me and suckering me back into a relationship with her by making me feel guilty
Don't blame yourself for someone else being weak. If they are this damaged then they need to fix it or find someone who they can pay to do it, not rely on you. I've had a person do that to me in the past and I just dropped them like a stone. Not worth my time. If you actually care about them maybe try and get them actual help but yeah don't let them have that power over you.
I get where you're coming from, man. I'm playing in two bands; one has just begun recording its first album, the other has been booked for a few shows in the United Kingdom next summer (we're a Canadian band), so that's pretty awesome. Excellent girlfriend, we're quite in love and all that, recently bought my own place, blah, blah, blah.
I find that the other parts of my life though, they're extremely draining. The bit you mentioned about the world going to shit, I'm feeling that a bit too. I'm into my thirties now and it feels like I'm expected to state my opinion, then be ready to defend it at the drop of a hat. Sometimes, I just want to have a conversation with someone that doesn't involve ISIS, terrorism or any of that stuff.
My family, as well; they're some of the most draining people I've ever met. Everything to do with them always ends negatively, even when it shouldn't. I know I'm as much to blame as they are, but its just so damn draining.
I feel like its people, more than anything else. I'm so tired of dealing with people all the damn time. Everyone has an opinion they want you to hear, an argument they want to have with you, even a god damn "awareness month" about something they believe in. It gets tiring after a while, dealing with people. I'm not sure how others are always so busy, with a place to go every single hour, with a person to meet, with something to do; life just feels so tiring all the time.
Once you are financially stable (even if it's just a little) just fucking go. You don't owe anything to them just like >>653576982 said. Get away from them, set up shop, find yourself and then after a while see if they are worth your time but don't get your hopes up because people rarely change.
>>653577119 >life just feels so tiring all the time Man, feeling like that is a prime example of an early sign of depression. I recommend hanging out in other circles at least. Also, don't be afraid of going to a doctor/psych just to talk about that shit (trust me, better talk it out now than get put on heavy drugs later on).
Maybe treat her as a friend and see where it goes? If you're really that worried just ask her, if she's a good enough friend she'll understand why you asked and know that you two can stay friends if you don't get in a relationship.
>>653577505 I live a pretty normal life,I like to hike and do pretty much anything outdoors,i play guitar,I just moved somewhere new and I'm still meeting friends,but it's not like I sit around all day
I've hit it off with a girl at work. She's only 20, and I'm 27. I wasn't sure about her at first, because she was so young, but after I got to know her I found out that she was incredibly mature for someone her age. Neither of us really want a relationship, for our own reasons, but we like each other and have a mutual affection.
About 7 months ago, my relationship of 6 years with my college girl ended. I've been with a few girls since then, but nothing serious. Still trying to get over her completely though. This new girl at work is really exciting for me, because I've been feeling very lonely, especially with the holidays coming up.
The thing about the girl though, is that she has a really complicated past. Her older brother is retarded, and when she was 3 he started molesting her. It went on for years, from what she said. Recently she's been in and out of relationships, and doesn't want to commit to anything serious right now.
I am honestly scared that I will fall for this girl, even though we both agreed it wasn't a relationship. I am not sure I can take my heart getting destroyed again. I've been so depressed lately, for obvious reasons, and while spending time with her has been a huge boost to me, I am afraid of what will happen if/when we break it off. I think I've already got it bad for her...
3 depressed 4 lyef. Used to have a crush on this 9/10 grill, somehow let me fuck. Blew my other chances, she was really into it tho. She lost interest and i stay alone. Its been 5 years since i lasta spoke to her or was with friends.
She didn't try to kill herself because of you unless you are the reason why she has all of these mental issues to begin with. Whoever said that to you is just being her bitch. It's not your responsibility to look out for her and you sure as fuck aren't responsible for what she does (unless you're actually saying shit like kill yourself etc). Don't let people bully you because you didn't baby someone.
>>653573385 It just seems that all of my friends have abandoned me at once. None of them have contacted me to see how I'm doing or anything. It's not like they're too busy; I know when they're online and talking with each other, but they all seem to mutually exclude me from everything.
I'm also feeling disillusioned about everything I've been working toward the past few years.
>Got my heart ripped out by my ex 9 months ago >Finally starting to be over that >Meet hot, intelligent, musical woman >Think things are going well >We make out, it's great, gonna give her the d next week >Be on facebook >Stalk the prey >She's in a relationship >She's going full steam ahead with me >She's cheating on her boyfriend with me >I got cheated on and it killed me inside >Finding out this girl is going to do that to him with me is bugging the shit out of me >Start having dreams about ex every night >Whiskey.jpg >Drinkyourproblemsaway.exe I know, "Oh I feel soooo bad for you anon you're gonna get laid" I just can't seem to get over the fact that she's going to do that. It's making me remember my relationship in a bad way and I can't stop thinking about it. She played innocent little girl so well, and I thought things were going to develop into a good relationship, but they won't because she'd just cheat on me.
>>653576982 >>653577375 I really want to but I wish it was that easy I have a job make okay money not enough to leave just yet. The only person keeping me there is my mom. I'm just scared my dad will do something to her. My meds for anti represent and what are digging me in a whole. I have tried suicide after my dad locked me in the shed for a week. Never told anyone but that's what is good about being anons.
>>653577565 If you really care about them, try and help out. Just have in mind that you can't help those that don't want help. If your friend is depressed and not putting in the effort or just shutting you out completely, it might be best to just let them be.
It's irritating but people change. I had to move to a new state during grade 11 through 12 then when I came back everyone had moved and the few that were left weren't interested in me anymore. Currently have a lot of people added on facebook and only one person talks to me for her own reasons. Everyone else I knew over gaming doesn't talk to me anymore since I stopped playing and my few friends in town never actually talk to me.
I'm doing fine. Senior in college, lately been having less motivation so grades are suffering a bit. Also scared i'm not going to be able to find a job after graduating. Doing what I can to pass and graduate though. Also for some reason most of my friends/family are feeling sad or depressed for one reason or another.
>>653578437 Hey man, here's a secret of life: You can't save anyone, only yourself. That's why girls stay with abusive boyfriends and that's why your mom stays with your dad. Do you want to be like her and spend your life afraid in someone's shadow? Get away as soon as possible man, and start working out/boxing. You can come back for her later on, but you really need to get away, otherwise that shit will poison you for life.
No problem anon. If you're seriously worried try to get her to talk to a psychologist (don't pay for it but possibly try to organize an appointment or something) and if she refuses just drop her. She's not your friend if she's willing to kill herself due to something you said let alone if she blames you for it. She's just putting it on you to get more attention rather than address the actual issue that is her mental stability.
>>653578621 But see, that's the thing: my high school friends abandoned me long ago, mostly because I couldn't go to college right after high school like they did (had to go through some tough real life situations before I could enroll). When I finally did enroll in college, it was overseas, so I had no friends there or here when I got back and transferred to a stateside school.
Now the friends I've made in college seem to have abandoned me as well, opting instead to talk with each other rather than with me. I guess I'm just that 'creepy guy' that everyone tolerates but no one really wants to be around.
I've been giving that some thought. The girlfriend and I are going out of town twice in December, both times for a week a piece. I figured I'd look into it after that's all over; early January, maybe.
I've had a few friends experience much the same things and they've given the same advice. This is the first time I've ever really thought seriously about getting professional help, before it gets too hard to deal with. Its a frightening thing sometimes, admitting you may need help; ultimately good though in the end, I suppose.
Honestly if you're worried, gather evidence of him being abusive, audio tapes, buy some type of camera and record it if you can. I'm talking multiple events, the more the better (do not start any of them) and don't let anyone know you're doing it. Take the information to the police, have father arrested, mother is now safe, then move on.
>but he might get out
His hold on her for now is broken and you've done more than enough to break it, it's up to her to keep up with it, she's an adult.
>>653578425 then don't do it you stupid fuck all you are doing by fucking that bitch is making the world worse so just don't do it tell the girl it's over everyone else may be shit but you don't have to be
It's just hard not to get emotionally invest. I'm very sensitive, and I can tell that she is the same way. We both like each other a lot too. Before we went out the first time, she was hanging all over me, being girlishly cute about it, too. She's at least a 9/10 on the looks scale, as well.
I just can't get too emotionally invested in this. It's not going to last, so just enjoy it while it is here.
>>653579192 Man, it can make such a big difference. No matter if you find out that it's nothing or if it's actually something big, just getting out and taking care of it with the help of someone who knows their shit is so much better than losing years of your life masking your anguish in front of everyone to appear as strong as you think you have to be..
I always feel like the third wheel if there's more than one person who's talking and even then I feel like I'm a burden on whomever I'm with. I make people laugh, I come up with interesting topics, I listen to what people have to say but I never feel like I'm good enough.
Doesn't help that I'm the only person I know that actually lives away from home in my town. Everyone else is still living with their parents and has a lot more friends than me and on top of that even the ones that are away from home in another town/state again have more friends. Maybe things will change when I move next year, new city, proper effort to meet new people. Fingers crossed.
>>653578861 Thank you anon, I know you're right I have an okay body not fat but not a twig either I can hold my own thank to my dad and brother beatings I used to get. What would be a good place to settle I work in IT that way I can at least land a job
>>653579698 Yeah, both my parents and younger brother as well as tons of aunts and uncles. Too proud to go home or ask for help. Only thing that's stopped me from just killing myself is I know it would destroy my mom.
>>653574623 They're all wrong. Seriously if you love her just shut the fuck up. You probably didn't catch a serious std if you did say it was from the toilet or from borrowing your cousins shorts playing basketball
Feeling very weak, depressed, and frustrated Over the years, Ive been diagnosed and rediagnosed with countless disorders It makes me feel as though its impossible to ever know whats wrong with me I could go on to describe the issues but the point is, its extremely hard to function and I'm nothing more than a financial drain The only way I can even justify my existence is by telling myself that if I were gone, my mom would be alone in the world, but that feels like nothing more than an excuse It's getting increasingly difficult to sleep, its getting hard to find motivation to do anything I havent eaten a full meal in days, I cant keep my food down, eating makes me feel sick I used to get caught up in the thought of my existence being meaningless but now I cant really deny it My friends talk to me less and I have less to say I'm losing interest in things I like I dont know what to do
>>653579269 Tried it when I was 15 all it did was get me locked up in a shed, I really just wish I could kill the motherfucker all he does is judge and put people down but when it comes to him he has no flaws despite being overweight, diabetic, and not even finishing 6th grade
I've got a bulging disc pressing on whatever nerve runs down your leg. Had this problem for almost two years. It makes me unable to go outside when it hits about 2:00 p.m.. I'm only 20, and those around me think it must be the worst fate in the world and pity me. Like not going out every weekend to create some sort of fun with others is just awful. Yet, I don't feel bad at all.
I'm not sure when it happened, but at some point I realized that being alone is something that I enjoy more than anything else. Am I wrong to feel this way? My family seems to think so, but others say that there's nothing wrong with liking the state of being alone.
>>653580211 just hit him in the head with a hammer while he is asleep do it over and over till theres nothing left you won't go to prison probably just a real nice mental institution for a few years you have to put an end to him after you there will be someone else you have to end it it might be the only thing worthwhile you ever do
I'm studying medicine. 3rd year. And I can't still find a way to get out of this.
My heart's broken because a bitch chose an asshole over me. I shared with her things and feelings that I had never shared with anyone. But when I thought my love was corresponded, she dumped me with that asshole. I didn't fight for her because our relationship was recent and I wanted her to be happy, which I knew she wasn't with me: she wanted me as a friend.
That happened 5 years ago. I became antisocial, I never had either a relationship nor friends since then, and the loneliness is killing me inside. Since then my parents broke up because my father became so fuckin crazy he started chasing and hitting my mother because of jealousy. My father took my little brother, who is going in the wrong way with his life. I went to college and I have low grades because I can't focus: I think everyday about her, day and night dreamimg about her, and that depresses me. I started having alucinations about her, and I've started to believe she still loves me and follows me (I'm becoming crazy). I dream with her at nights, feeling a tremendous pain after, and I can't get out of this. It's killing me, altought I don't want to commit suicide...yet. I don't drink to relief the pain because I already know that if I do that, I will lose control and probably hurt someone. I can't go to a psychiatrist because if I do that I'll lose any chance of being a surgeon (which is what I wanna be). And when I realize I have to do something to get better, my mind shows me all the things I've lost for being this depressed, things and opportunities that I will never get back. I can't change of career because I'm poor and I don't have any chance of start all over again (although I wish I could).
In conclusion, I'm screwed. Any thoughts? (Apart of the beta and faggot thing)
You do know how STI's work right? Unless the toilet literally had fresh infected semen on it and he somehow got it inside his ass hole or into a fresh cut he's not going to catch anything. Same thing for the shorts.
>>653580073 Just go home. If you know killing yourself would your parents, it means you know that they care about you. Be proud that you have people who care about you and go talk to them. There's nothing wrong with going to them when you're down on your luck, that's what family is for.
>>653580046 I can code but without a degree most companies turn away when they see I have no college education hence my situation but I am self taught and the company was nice enough to give me a chance
Im deemed unattractive in society. Im worthless and I literally fuck up everything I try to put work in. Realationships crash down cause my SO cant handle my depression. I fuck up school. Im in my first fuckig semester of community college and im failing. I even fucked up killing myself multiple times bro. Im even a fucking mistake man. My parents told me one night after they'd been drinking and fighting that I was just a mistake. The only reason they even got together was because my mom got pregnant.
You sound like my friend (besides the parental issues).
All you can really do is try to move on from her, make yourself into something she can look at and go 'why the fuck did I choose someone else' and even then don't fully do it for her, do it for yourself. Carry on with your life, don't let anyone rule it besides you.
>2011 Girl turns around and talks to me >think she is cute >2012 get upset over something stupid (music) >2012 new school year, do nothing >2013 realize I keep thinking about her,I appoligize > ask her to be mine. She looks away and tells me no >2014 valentines day I buy her $150 worth of chocolate and 14k gold earings >end of school year day after her birthday I give her a well thought out 14 page letter I wrote her. >in the letter I mentioned going to school to be a Dr. (MD.) and saving up money for her >days later police show up and question me asking if I threatened her, found out she got a protection order on me because she thought my feelings for her are too good to be true? >principle freezed my grades and I left highschool early >never walked on stage
I've been masking it for a very long time already, so if this bring about a change, I'll be over the damn moon. I'm going to look into some form of treatment though, it just feels like its past time, you know?
I've gotta run here, its getting late and I had a long day. Thanks for the kind words though, man. They've had a bigger effect than you know. Be well.
And everyone else be well, too. I hope your situations improve and you find your way through things.
>>653581212 >after leaving that day on school I had to go pay the police $500 because there was a warrant on me, then parents take me to a hospital >hospital won't tell me whats going on, 8 hours later I am being transferred to a mental hospital >spend 9 days in hospital with crazy people >my public defender told me if I don't take plea bargain I will be charged by state as a registered stalker >not knowing about law I believed him >court ordered counseling I was unable to finish in 2014 because I started college >nobody insurance accepts in college and no car at the time >2015 find someone who charges $90 per session, empty my savings account >go to court again for not having enough counseling and get another chance >insurance changes so my insurance provider told me that only one place will accept me, and they only go by phone scheduling. >phones are always down in morning and when they go back up they are full for the day >in last week of court ordered date I find someone else to see but the court denies my request >go to jail >get out and end up dropping school because none of my prof. would help me out >nobody will hire a felon so I can't find a job >cannot work enough and get required credits to be a Dr. I have loans to pay back :( >I just love her and wanted to be good enough :(
Actually you'd be surprised what some people are willing to do for someone else especially when they realize that you could have just lied to them and not only hurt your feelings but endangered your life with unprotected sex.
You seem to have a pretty sad view on cheating, love and sexual safety.
Lol where did this come from? I'm happy despite the fact I don't have that many (if any real) friends. Things change, I'll change, next place might mean there are more people of interest rather than the town I'm currently in.
>>653580922 Listen to some of Kanyes older shit and make the world your bitch. I fucked up my first two years of college, but now I'm an electrical engineer. You have time to make things right, just know that you can't make things better all at once. Things will improve gradually, so start off with small steps here and there. Stop watching TV, stop playing vidya, and use school as your escape instead.
>Male >15 >Been dating an absolutely amazing girl for 3 months now >She is 12, which I hope isn't a problem, and it's not really relevant, but I felt like mentioning it The one who has captured my heart is all I can ask for. Everything, I mean absolutely everything about her is perfect in my eyes. The flaws she sees in herself appear to beauty spots to me. Her caring nature, her smile, her excited demeanor, her everything is extravagant. I feel as if she's my world, and she'll the only person I'll ever hold this much love for (sorry if my description is kind of an understatement, I'm piss poor with words) However, at times I feel as if a bit of my heart wonders... I lack control over this, but there has been a few accounts where I feel like I'm falling in love with others, and I feel like complete shit over this... They aren't anywhere near the capacity which I feel towards who has me, but at times I feel crippling depression over the fact I'll likely never know what it would be like if I let my emotions for these people blossom. I have no intention to do anything while I still have my current maiden, I just don't know what I should do with these feelings...
>>653580262 The girl I am currently dating loves to spend time by herself or with me. I've asked her countless times if being without friends when we're not hanging out sucks, but she constantly insists she loves spending time by herself.
My brother and sister are the exact same way. They just love to chill by themselves, but still socialize just fine when the time comes around.
I don't know if this makes you an introvert or whatever the fuck. All that matters is that you enjoy it. Literally who cares if you like spending time by yourself? Those who find it an issue are the kind of people that know no fucking boundaries in their relationships.
I'm in love with someone who, if they found out I love them, would almost certainly never speak to me again because they are kind of quiet and a loner. Same interests, musical tastes, ideology, intelligence. We used to be inseparable. I've never gotten so close to someone so quickly. Finally I saved money and booked a flight to see them. Stayed a week and we had a great time together. Ever since I came home they've slowly been messaging me less, fewer phone calls and texts. I am completely in the dark as to what happened. I've tried asking what is wrong but get nothing. It's almost been a month since we've actually spoken. Should I just let them go?
>>653578123 It does. I've felt suicidal and alone for the past 7 years. I've had no friends, no intrest and have pretty much ghosted my life. Out of high school I took a shot retail job and continued for the sake of continuing. The only reason I didn't kill myself being I didn't want my mom to think it was her fault. Suffice to say I tried to think of ways to make it look accidental but came up short. The thing is, and maybe you don't feel like I did, I liked that empty feeling. It kind of drew me into this world where I felt connected to something bigger. Something important. When I tried I felt alone, but when I just went numb, it felt like I was one of a million. It's weird to explain. You have to fight that feeling though. You need to force yourself out, force yourself to advance towards any goal you can think of or want. And I promise you that feeling of wanting to slip will hit you, but you just keep fighting and telling yourself your good and that you make your own future. Apathy is death of man, we can't let it become who we are. The moment we do we become mindless people with the only interest being advancing another day or escaping from reality. So the answer is, and this might be difficult to accept, is to fight that feeling. Gain confidence, throw away any feelings that what you feel may be fake or silly, and move forward.
Maybe try to talk to them one last time? People are odd sometimes they want to talk to you but if you don't talk to them first then they wanna wait/feel like you don't want to talk. They could have just been going through some tough times during the lack of communication then when you both drifted apart during the month she might have been waiting for you. Yolo it, worse case move on. Finger crossed.
>>653579342 That graph is not an effective means of communicating her sadness ratio. Whatever data she collected must be misinterpreted. For that graph to make sense it should be a linear downward slope starting at the top of the y-axis going down to the end of the x-axis. The image illustrates that even though her hopes fluctuate upward at points, she still moves father into despair. Assuming there's a one to one ratio between her two variables her plot points should decrease on the x-axis every time there is an increase on the y. She fucked up and she should feel bad about it.
>>653581284 That motherfucker...sorry anon. My advice is to get a credit for your studies or start working to save money and study to be a doctor on a public college. Work hard for your dreams and don't give up!
About the girl...forget her. Someone who do something like that doesn't want the best for you, and a relationship like that is doomed to failure. It's fuckin hard, but move on.
I feel like shit. Constantly. I'm in the military and I'm miserable. I make enough money to barely get by, but not enough to really ever move forward with my life. My girlfriend has lupus and has gained 40 pounds in the last year because her doctor told her exercise is bad for her, but if I say anything to her about I'm an asshole because she's sick. I have a pretty serious drinking problem, and the few friends that I have are leaving me because I can't ever stay sober. But such is life.. Thanks for listening /b
>>653582711 Fuck what people think. Doesn't matter how ugly you are, people will flock to you if you're successful. So fuck people. Put all your focus into school instead of worrying about pointless shit.
>>653581401 If it wasn't a mistake just move on before sleeping with her and if it was then it is worth the lie, be prepared for a shit storm, practice fifth amendment not having to plead against yourself, and stick to your simple story. Personally I'd be more worried about the fling lying about birth control
>>653582719 Problem is I have made sure to message them once a day, and only once so as not to smother them. They've been online everyday and I know it. They just don't bother responding or if they do, they keep it brief. I'm lost and confused.
In that case buddy I think it's time to move on. I've been that shitty person that instead of just saying 'please leave me alone/I'm not interested' I've just let them message me again and again and again. Went on for about 4 months then they finally stopped and unadded me. I wish they'd done it sooner but that person was pretty eager for a friend, I just wasn't one.
>>653581140 She's already with another man. They've been dating for two years, and it seems there's not an ending in the future. She seems emotionally estable. I can't stop dreaming and hallucinating about her. Also, being good at my profession is already late to me. Three years late. I feel I'm emotionally screwed. And it's really hard for me to talk to people, even professors.
I'm an aide at an inner city school with my brother. We are white in a 99% black school. When I was working in special Ed in August, the sped teacher physically harmed a student, so I reported it. Because sped teachers are so hard to get, the let her keep her job and they demoted me. Now everyone thinks I abused a kid thanks to the rumor mill and got to keep my job because my mom is an ap in the district. I hate this city and we only want to move to where I went to college. I am certified to teach but the principal has for sure blackballed me, so I can't afford to pursue my passion (art) and I can't pay to help my brother go to college. I am almost thirty and I just want to start living. Besides my brother, I have no helpful family. Life sucks but maybe we can get through it. I just want us to be happy again. I fucking hate Houston.
Then you just need to move on anon. When you think about her think of something else and if you want to try again at your course you always can. I've seen people who are over 50 going in for their first degree.
I feel depressed that I am working so hard and letting a lot of enjoyable parts of life behind me. I know I should have all these career goals and aspirations to leave behind something for my future children but I'm finding myself staring out the window wishing for adventure as my time on this earth passes me by. Often times I feel like I just found myself here in this cage just by following what everyone told me to do. Go to school, get a job, work hard. Somehow I know that there is more to this life than serving a giant machine . I just want to love and be happy. I am you. Wake up. Please wake up.
>>653582218 Had a lot of issues with my parents growing up. They generally treated me like shit cause little bro was the golden child, who could do no wrong. Like I said it really boils down to I'm too proud to ask them for help.
Actually it's something everyone has to conclude, whether or not they actually care about the person or if they just see them as someone they can string along. Only person I've ever deemed ok for not telling their partner was when they were married with several children and already very fucking old. Simply because telling her would achieve nothing and ruin their lives. That anon though should just tell her and get it over with especially if he doesn't know if he's a carrier. He still has time to spare her the pain rather than drag it out.
i can't tell what's wrong with me. I'm neither happy nor sad. I can't smile genuinely. I'm almost all of the time just bored and I do lots of things to keep myself busy from being bored. But I get uninterested of the things I do very quickly so I'm just left here doing anything to keep myself going day by day.
>>653584070 An advice: she's over you already. She doesn't likes you, and she probably thinks you're a menace for her. And probably she's already happy with someone else. It's the only explanation for all that you're telling us.
Life's unpredictable. I'm sure you can have a better girl than her, that can love you and you to her.
Forget her if you love her. It's the best for both of you. And believe you will pass over this. Because if you don't believe it, no help will be useful against your heart, and you will be irremediably condemned to failure, pain and suffering. You're still on time, believe me. Do it for your future and your life.
I've been half posting and half lurking for years on this stupid fucking website. It's still shocking to me how often you Fuckers make me want to off myself and also want to keep going.
Life sucks. I graduated with a degree. I have a girlfriend with a degree. I have parents that love me. But I feel nothing. I feel no purpose or drive. I just hate myself more and more because of it.
I just turned 23 and am still in shock that I lived past 18. The hardest thing I've ever had to do is accept that maybe I shouldn't kill myself and I actually have a future. I just don't know what to do anymore.
feeling frustrated, been working my way through college, having trouble keeping up with bills, working fulltime and suffering in classes because of it. my truck broke down recently and my parents gave me one of their cars and a some money, but i hate bleeding them dry and being needy, i should be more self sufficient than this.
>>653584990 Fuck your baseless pride. They were probably right about you being a fuck up and didn't want your brother to end up the same way. They still want what's best for you so stop being an edgelord, admit to your mistakes, and get your life back together.
I wish I wanted to change more but I just get so seized up with everything life's got me on and, I know I'm depressed and I should be applying all these lifehacks and lift bro tactics. Even though they arent hard, I know them well cuz I applied them consistently for over a year, for some reason I can't do it and being cooped up is bad for me but still I just cannot make that change in myself again, it feels impossible, no one wants me to or expects me to, they just want me to be happy so they are happy. And I know applying that will get me out of this, from the research I've done on depression but I can't do it, and I've gotta do it soon to catch my grades so I can get the degree and fuck when my parents see my grades have gone from As to Ds I'm sure there will be questions and I'm not looking forward to that.
Feeling pretty down. My brother in law just died some time in the last week or so, he was just 29. Very chill friend and all around awesome person. Been hanging around with my wife's family for the past 3 days just being emo, having his friends come over and tell stories about his earlier years. He had some troubles the last few years, social anxiety, no gf, etc but was really getting shit done lately.
>>653584385 It's like this, but with hallucinating and delirant ideas that doesn't leave me: >>653584070 It has been gone beyond my control six months ago. I've tried, and sometimes I can get over it for a while, but the crisis always comes back.
How to forget someone you thought was the one, the one of your entire life?
>>653586228 I'm going to therapy now. Trying medications. Currently on prozac and welbutrin. I hate myself for needing medication. I hate myself for where I am. And I hate myself for being suck a prick and somehow not being happy despite all I'm blessed with. I can walk and I have a loving family and I'm not starving to death, I feel like I should off myself simply for the arrogance to not be content.
My girlfriend broke up with me about a month ago. We've hooked up a time or two since then and after what seemed like us doing pretty well and wanting to be back together she suddenly doesn't reply to half my texts and says she's done trying with us, but still wants to be friends. This dude she just met in September also keeps showing up around her a lot, and he definitely doesn't like seeing me around her. >Her and I are in college together, so we're forced to see each other in class and around campus I can't help but think this dude told her something and somehow fucked over all the progress I was making with her. I just can't shake this feeling that she doesn't want me gone, she's just confused with this new guy around and not wanting to hurt either of us.
>>653586544 I've been in a similar situation. I fell apart. Daily life almost killed me. In my last year of college, I started skipping class because I would break down crying halfway while walking and just turn around. You need to face it, and you can't be afraid to face or admit it. I was lucky enough to have parents that... idk I'll say "understood", for lack of a better term, but they haven't kicked me out for being a little fucked and I'm thankful for that. I took a semester off, went to therapy talked a lot of it out, and have been trying to get my life on track. I know it's so difficult to take action but you have to try.
>>653586247 Then there are two options: 1) Keep suffering and watching all your life becoming hell, until you find out there's no solution for your broken heart and in the middle of your missery you commit suicide or you kill her. 2) You choose to be alone forever, but being a doctor and feeling...well, that depends. You can actually being over her or still think about her...well, it's pretty much unpredictable. She will have a normal life, but she'll not be oppressed by guilty of your suicide (well, if she's not a heartless...) or dead. I know both ways. The last one, although it could be painful, it's the best for you, and it's the best for her. You have the right to enjoy a better life. She doesn't want a love with you. For love there's need of a shared feeling. You don't have that, and you probably won't have it.
Yup, it's actually pretty disgusting. Worst part is some people really think that the person is going out of their way to manipulate them and you're just standing on the side lines seeing it all take place. Recently gave up trying to help a friend of mine. Not looking forward to it but a few years down the line (at most) she's going to wake up and realize what he's really like.
> mid 20s now > I desire great things for myself but > no motivation > no idea what to do with my life > regret most things like playing too much video games to go to class in college, giving up music etc > have my moments but they are lost in a sea of 90% failure and missed opportunity > there's always tomorrow i guess to get started > thats what i tell myself every day
>>653573385 Today is a day for change. I start my new job at noon. Been jobless and totally skint for the past 11 months, extremely depressed and without hope the past 6. The one person who got me through it moved on to better things about a month ago and I was scared to get left behind in the dust. But Now things are looking up. I'm so excited, I don't wanna fuck it up.
>>653573385 Been with my girlfriend for about 6 and a half years now, known her and hung out with her for over 10, met her in freshman year in highschool, first girl in years that has ever paid attention to me or made me feel like someone cared, probably why I fell in love with her in the first place, lately started to feel more and more detached from her for some reason, I don't want to leave her cuz I know I'll never find anyone like her again plus I know she'll blame herself no matter what, what do /b/ros?
>>653573385 i'm feeling great just got back from fucking an asian hooker. Shit was cash. Though part of me wants to go back and save her from the brothel that she was at so at the same time i'm feeling kinda depressed. Because when I was fucking her I noticed a few bruises here and there on her body mainly around her hips and her back. Which leads me to believe she might be held there against her will. Also when I got to the place she was really awkward and she seemed as though she would do anything to please me except trying to fuck me. Like she was playing dumb to the fact that they were a fuck spa. Even though i'm a regular there and the manager knows it. Also before she blew me she mentioned girlfriend??? As in maybe she was implying to be my girlfriend or if i was looking for girlfriend. Idk her english was pretty broken. >pic related looks a lot like her.
>>653591923 Because there's still hope for the ones that believe in happiness. If you feel in your heart there's still hope, just fight for it. Don't pay attention to the fag who was replying you before. Become a man and show her with your success you can be better for her. Be a man!!
Depends on whether or not you think she's worth it. If you simply cheat on her to get back at her then yeah you obviously don't love her and if you don't love her, just break up with her.
Have you spoken to her about it? Did she have a reason at all? If you're not happy try talking to her about it, if nothing good comes of it/she doesn't want to try anything new to fix it then I'd just move on.
>>653591923 Honestly /b/ro, in all seriousness, you should an hero, no one is going to hire you, you're not going to succeed at life, or, keep suffering through it, either way you're gonna die sooner or later, might as well be sooner
>>653585655 Nice dubs. But nah like that anon said, im a loser who couldnt even kill himself. Im gonna make up for not being able to kill myself by successfully following through with suicide. Ill name drop myself in a thread on /b/ soon and yall can go fuck with my mourning friends and family
>>653593566 I do love her, in fact, I couldn't cheat on her, 9/10 sweetie wanted to fuck me so hard but I couldn't even kiss her, I just wanted to be friends with her cause I always pictured my gf and didn't want to cheat on her.
Everytime we (me and gf) speak about it (her cheating) we end up crying, she doesn't really know why she cheated, she said that she found to other guy to be interesting and handsome, she saw him 2 times, just kissed him and no fucking him.
She does worth it, she's improved her way to do things and her role in the relationship, I've seen her far more interested in being with me than before, she does really love me now.
But it's the thoughts of being cheated on that come back and haunt me, sometimes I can't really fight em off and I get depressed.
I want to go on with her, if only I could forget the bad stuff.
Ah well honestly it is good that she just kissed rather than fucked him, though it is still a really shitty thing to do. Honestly anon if you really love her, she's changed and wants to be with you and you want to be with her, just move on from it. When you think about it, block it out. Think about how amazing she is, how much you love her, what you want to do with and to her. Past is in the past, move forward and be happy!
>>653573385 Feeling as shit. And I don't know why... I have a job that pays 10 times on monthly level than avergae in the country I live. I have my own place, my gaming equipment/amount of game is never better, I have 3 girls on rotation as fuck buddies... I even bought my mother a new car, and relationship with my family is at it's highest right now. But I feel so empty inside. Depressed, lonely, I don't see a reason. I'm a retard.
Sorry I don't have any winter pictures on this laptop.
>>653595492 It's normal on suicidal people. She probably had been planning this before, and she wanted to have one last day with the person she loved the most. Don't ruin her wish, she doesn't want you to die. She probably knows you and wanted for you to live and reach all your dreams. Love her, respect her wish.
Be me.. I'm a decent guy, I run, I'm built, confident...make money easily in my line of work. (have own company.. and passive sources of income)
Similar interests, games, jokes, pets, tv/movies, was super fun.. and man... was the life of any party. Not a typical stunner... but we went from friends to lovers after 6 months. Everything fell into place... felt like fate lead me to this point.
I've dated, had my conquests, but never felt like there something missing until I met her. I felt like she completed the other half of me.
Ex-BF who cheated on her... shows up wants her back wants to fuck her and marry her, I ask her to chose.. me or him. She chose me.. i asked her to cut it off with him completely.
We got serious after a year, but like every other woman I've dated, she hid some pretty serious issues from me. But by then... I thought I found my soulmate.. and I wanted to help and fix (like a typical guy).
Found out about the financial issues first.. helped with that.
Found out about many anxieties and phobias.. including body image issues. Encourage her when I need to; but ask her to get help with things that are beyond me. I support her.. and help her become her ideal self.
We basically live together at this point. I haven't been happier in my life.. I get to wake up, cook dinner, spend quality time, and snuggle to sleep with my best friend. These are literally the highlights of my day.
>>653593546 You should work on your self-steem and then demonstrate that you're a real man. Women doesn't like betas, that's a fact. It's not about being an asshole, it's about getting success to show her that you're the right man for her
At this point I'm showing tons of acts of love.. elaborate trips.. a week of flowers on valentines day... romantic weekends... date nights every week. She loves surprises and new things. (I keep this up till the end of our relationship)
Found out she wasn't super into the idea of marriage anymore, but wanted to spend the rest of her life with me. (super bad divorces in her family.. and parents)
Propose after almost 4 years, she says maybe.. but I'm in therapy for this .. but I want to be yours.. just not marriage.
Then I found out the ex-bf had been texting her some dirty shit.. but she never reciprocated. She lied to me for 4 years at this point; she didn't see the problem as she didn't mean anything by it.
We go to therapy; she realizes the distrust she caused... I spend the next almost 3 years with major trust issues when she goes out or texts people late at night. Build transparency and trust back over the next couple years. It was very hard for me...and her.
She still was working on her anxieties, depression, and phobias.
Unbeknownst to me, I had developed some bitterness over the next couple years because I wanted to be married.
We have some typical spats over marriage and kids, but nothing we can't handle. But everytime we have a fight... she waivers on the long term commitment... but always says just enough to make me feel loved and like our future will work out. Basically strings me along.
I'm starting to want kids at this point, my parents are getting older... It's time for me.
I never thought about kids prior to this, but with her.. I want them.
At this point, we get to play house for a couple years. I'm still as lovestruck with her since the day I fell in love and she tells me the same.
She is ok with us, but is still dealing with depression and anxiety. As I cannot make her happy, only comes from within... I give an ultimatum. (which i really hope that she does). I'm need you to not only get help, but show me you can be happy, show me we can have a happy marriage together.
She waits until I'm packing up boxes in my house to move closer to my parents, for her to see that she wants to change and makes an appt for psychiatrist to go on some mood enhancers. It's 9 years at this point. I want a wife.. and kids. I'm moving closer to my parents and family so i can raise a family.
She makes the decision to want to build a life with me, but needs to get her job and life in order.
So we do a short long-distance thing.. I mean 9 years.. we've been through alot together. She's not worried... I am.
I ditch my company, move, my job falls through as soon as I'm back, but I have savings. I've always made considerably more than her.
A couple months go by and I get depressed after sending out 100 or so resumes, but the job market going from working for yourself.. back into corporate life.. is a rough transition.
We continue life, she wants to move down asap as do I. We see each other almost every weekend..plan activities, celebrate anniversary...send love notes etc. I'm not perfect, but I have made every effort to love her unconditionally, be supportive and flexible, show kindness and compassion.
We've had 9 years of memories, and passionate fire.. she's gotten only more beautiful over time and is now a real stunner.
I notice that she stops sending love notes and the communication is fading.
I confront her.. after much lying.. she admits that she's admired a work colleague for years and they are now seeing each other. Work colleague knew she was engaged, but proceeded anyway.
I have 2 choices; decide to adult.. and go up to her and work it out with couples therapy. I and our therapist ask her to stop what she's doing, so she can clear her head and let the therapy work.
She lies more.. keeps seeing the guy the entire time. Tells me she's isn't sure of us.. but wants space. Tells the other guy that we are basically done.
I up there doing my best, pouring my heart out, treating her like a princess, doing all of her favorite activities, .. fucking the shit out of her. Long story short, she's checked out.. no emotion.. nothing. No remorse.
I've lost my best friend.
We agree to work on therapy together via skype. She wants space to work it out.
After some red flags, I find out they've been dating, before, during and after I've been there. Fucking the day after I left.
She never gave us a chance. She said, get this "I couldn't wait any more".
Bitch, I've been ready for 5 god damn years.
I'm know it's over, but can't stop wanting my best friend and lover back. I'm heartbroken and devastated. I have 10 years of wonderful memories, inside jokes, pet names, and places and tons of pictures... that I can't get out of my head.
I've cried maybe 3 times in my life prior to this.. but now I'm crying every day.
I'm 35 now....it's been almost 3 months. I can't get my life back together... I can't move on..I've tried.
>be 12, start to realize I might be gay >be 13, I definitely like boys >be 14, catholic school and family, please god, I can't be gay, don't wanna be gay >be 15, yeah, god might not exist and it might not be bad to be gay >freshman year. that's when I met him >name was Otto >most amazing guy ever >alfa, blond, fit... he had the body of a greek statue >literal 10/10 >really cool guy, good friend, everybody likes him >I am extremely attracted to him, never felt like this before >this is going out of control, I hate every guy that talks to him for more than a few minutes >i tried hard to be part of the alfa kid group so i could be near him >this implied being a bully with some people >whatever, im happy when im around him >i would give him my food whenever he asked, i would help him in tests istead of making my own, i would pick him on my football team even though he was shit so he wouldn't feel bad >basically i had become his bitch, but i was happy, because i made him happy >planned to come out to him and tell him what i felt, but never had the balls >ff to sophomore year, we are on separate classes now >he stays with all our alfa friends and all the other nice kids >i go into a class full of betas and faggots >get lonely, we don't talk as much as we did before >i was a bully before, but i grew up. Anyway it was hard to get people's confidence >i was tired of the alfa bully kids, so i changed them for a beta yet good friends group >they took that move as a serious direct insult >remained friends with most of them, remained friend with Otto >the year gos by, my social status was greatly damaged >can't pay this catholic school anymore, so parents change me to another >junior year, new school, don't talk to any of my friends >blah blah made new friends blah blah >strong depression from 1 year without talking to Otto and some other issues >tried to kill myself >senior year, the future looks bright
Feeling weird. There's a girl, who I can't get out of my mind, but my contact with her is kind of minimal and so are my chances of being with her. So why can't I stop thinking about her. My brain just grasps at these straws of happiness even if there is no chance they will come to fruition and it pisses me off.
>>653596816 I came out with a Math major in college, love music and was very interested in the entertainment industry. I had the notion that hard work and a JD could get me anything I wanted. while the latter mat be true, 70+ hr work weeks for a big pot of gold that is not even guaranteed is nothing but insane.
I think im going insane. I cant even have a happy thanksgiving.
>>653597304 It's like "500 days of summer" She wasn't fullfilled with the relationship. And when you started paying her more attention probably that helped her to decide.
10 fuckin years!!! There are no words to describe it. It was like that with me, 20 years in my case, it almost killed me.
I'm sorry. That shouldn't have passed. The best you can do is to try to get along with this, accept that it ended and move on. It's really hard, but you have to do it. You will find what are you looking for. Be strong!
>>653597824 Kinda in the same boat. Had a crush on her since I met her Freshman year (7 years ago). I've had a string of girlfriends, but they never scratched that itch. Its that whole wanting what you cant have, try not to let yourself get broken down by it.
>be me 18 >December 6 2011 >Be cooking empanadas in Puerto Rico >Go to move hot pan off stove >Handle of pan breaks off >Grease and fire everywhere >Clothes on fire and i try to run >Slip in grease on floor and fall causing more burns >Arms, legs, feet, face, side all black with burns >over half are 3rd degree burns >last thing i remember was my burnt skin being peeled off by doctors >First 2 weeks in hospital dont remember >surgeries twice a week to try and keep burns clean >Hospital sucks so they cant heal more than a 2nd degree burn >Mistreated for months until parents come to get me >Get to better hospital and told i would have died if i would have waited another week. >after Almost a year of hospitalization and therapy to regain walking >Still cant use right hand >tons of scars and nerve damage >Pills everyday to keep pain away >Severe depression and anxiety.
>>653599537 >I up there doing my best, pouring my heart out, treating her like a princess, doing all of her favorite activities, .. fucking the shit out of her. >Long story short, she's checked out.. no emotion.. nothing. No remorse.
But forget it anon. Love is based on trust and confidence. It wasn't meant to be.
>>653573385 Read the entire thread, some hard shit out there bros! Hang in there!.. I really hope the best for all of you.
Heres my life. >I was 16 >my best god damn friend got cancer >for 2 years he fights it >My other best friend starts getting depressed >Cancer friend dies after 2 years of constant pain >Last words was "Dont fucking let me die anon! im scared!" >Other friend attempt suicide >Does Not die, but are now somewhere for crazy people. >Me at 18 >Get really depressed >find comfort and love with dead cancer friends sister >Still depressed so are on happy pills for 3 month >A year later (this year) >Me and Girl are still together and we have soo many plans for the future... >She gets cancer as well >Fights it >2 weeks ago She wanted to talk to me >Tells me that the cancer is back and it's worse this time >She don't want me to see her slowly die >I become very distant even to my online friends. >Don't feel like doing anything anymore..
I'm okay. I've become well, addicted to pills. And whatever I don't spend on car insurance or bills I spend on pills. Not too proud. I work at a children's entertainment business, and I feel they over work me yet underpay me. Don't say anything to em because I've grown close to all of my managers and don't want to ruin the friendship that shouldn't exist. I avoid being at home if at all possible, not too bad a home life, but my aunt is well, emotionally upsetting. On the flip side, I've been binge watching house, I love my job, I'm high, and turkey day is soon. How are you op?
>spent most of my senior year in complete depression >i feel extremely alone, only one real good friend (which was already in college), serious economic problems, my parents were a pain in the ass... (they love me, but they treat me like shit) >will i ever be happy with someone i love? >just looking at the younger guy that looks like Otto kills me every day >do you know what waking up completely tired is? Knowing there's no hope, no way to be happy? >hit the bottom of depression, tried to kill myself 2 times this year >parents cant pay for school >grandma helps us and pays the whole year >approaching the end of the year, I still feel completely lonely >not sure if I'll be able to graduate >eventually, I manage to graduate >but, here comes the sad part: >2 years without talking to Otto, 2 years of being destroyed inside, 2 years of emptyness, cant talk about this with most of my friends, wont be able to pay college, grandma dies, parents still treat me like shit...
Right now I'm 19, working Mon-Sat from 6:30 AM to 4:30 PM on a job I hate with a idiotic wage. Decided to stop talking to my friends, since I don't feel comfortable with them. I sincerily hope I'll be able to pay college and start again there. I hope I can find someone I love :(
Is my case retarded? is my depression justified? Maybe i didnt express well here, but you get the idea. Any suggestions to get over a lost love and deal with every-day failure?
>>653602014 Then i'd say go back to school / find a way to get an education , looks too difficult to get jobs without a proper education (at-least in my country) plus you still have time , don't make yourself regret it later on.
Please support this website by donating Bitcoins to 16mKtbZiwW52BLkibtCr8jUg2KVUMTxVQ5 If a post contains copyrighted or illegal content, please click on that post's [Report] button and fill out a post removal request
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows an archive of their content. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.