*knocks on door*
Hey its me goku
I smell trips!
I wake up in the large mansion I was in last night, laying on the bed. "Ooff.... That butler sure was something..." I stand up, putting on my panties and walking out the door, roaming around.
I do not believe it is actually you.
Don't apologize. You either look like a naive idiot or a condescending jackass.
Well.. i said bioshock infinite was ruined for me.. So i might aswell do the same for you folk.
>implying people haven't already
I am a little bit of both at times.
I did not mean to insult you, which is why I asked nicely.
Do not run multiple threads, please.
We are not the furries.
Lady Renamon? I do believe I was called Mistress Renamon.... But in any case, hello.
I gotta try..
Alright on that note before I continue. I need a cig.
You are also not in charge. The threads were made at the same time, so it really doesn't matter which gets used.
That said, I don't appreciate the time I spend uploading and solving google's hieroglyphics being wasted because "sorry, I want to pseudo-mod today".
you will someday, anon
You stood beside us anons against the shitposters the night of the Truce while the rest of the spineless community fled to the IRC.
You are no common mistress, Lady Renamon.
Why are you being so butthurt? everyone came to my thread, yet you continuted to post in your own. Get mad at yourself for being stubborn, not at him for linking you to my thread.
Nobody is in charge. We have to self-regulate or the mods will.
Get a pass, mate. I am sorry if I upset you, that was not my intent.
I sigh a bit, shaking my head. "Oh the IRC.... The Manor... I miss it sometimes. It used to be a great place. But unfourtauntly it is now dying a slow, painful death. However, I thank you for your gratitude." I bow to you.
Nothing much, being lazy, watching stupid youtube videos.
Has nothing to do with butthurt or upset. If my thread's going to die, then it'll die. Don't appoint yourself arbiter by saging and telling me what to do with my time.
It is what it is. Godspeed, Ren.
I like your image. Forgive my condescension but I want ERP to survive as long as it can before we are targeted for moderation.
>Long blue hair
>Hearts on the cuffs
I see shitposting has joined forces with shit fetish.
Feet, huh? What kind of depraved bug would take a sexual fascination with that? Not that I could blame them for worshipping mine... Fufufu.
Hmm, it somehow worked. Kurusu-san, it is I, Dark Link. I have been banned until the 25, so you may not see me for a while. I am currently using a different ip, which explains how I am able to post this right now. I don't know who else got the ban hammer, but I fear that I'm not the only one who got hit. If at all possible I will try to post using different ips, but I can't make any guarantees.
>before we are targeted for moderation.
Heya. Anyone wanna sweat? (Also footjob pic! ;D)
All of the avafags from the last thread of the day, that's who.
>mfw avafags were BTFO
Protip: DON'T AVATARFAG DUMBASS
You see people? DO YOU FINALLY SEE? I'm not the only one to get banned for posting in one of these threads! Anyway DL, I'll see you then, take care.
In what way?
>She smiles looking at you and starts to stretch as she winks in your direction. She keeps stretching with a smirk plastered to her face.
Oh! Well it wasn't me. It was my friend. But he loved it. Kept going on-and-on about how amazing it was and thanking me for setting him up. Thank you for asking.
God, I'm cliche!
>She smiles looking at you and starts to proceed to type out a run-on sentence that you'd struggle to read if she could write past a fourth-grade level. She continues doing the thing she was doing while her face changes a little bit because this is character am I right?
Oh god! What an Idiot! I get banned all the time and I never can't post! God you're stupid!
Folks have been getting banned for gratuitous circlejerking in these threads for months now.
Sorry about your ban, dude.
But stop and ask yourself: why don't the mods just outright auto-sage us or nuke the threads?
I'm such a fucking ditz!
>Wii fit smiles and strips for you for no reason whatsoever
Well, I was hoping I could be even blander than you...
>Just looks at you, so you have to do more work to get him to interact.
>Wii fit smiles and then slides her pants down fully and bends over
W-well don't stare, start your exercises!
Yeah, that's bland anime/light novel protagonist, being fucked by matriarchical moral antagonist #507, while generic love interest with extra love juice watches in the doorway.
Really? Do you even know where they've been? I've had them in my boots all day getting hot and stinky. You really want *these* on your phimotic little dick?
>implying I'm not behind seven proxies
Not if it's induced from the OP, then it's an auto-sage. "fur" was once under such a filter, which is why the gfur cj never puts the word in its OP's, even with the restriction gone.
Because avatars lead to communities which leads to personas having more weight than post content. That is not what /b/ was built around.
And, on rare occasions, the mods visit us.
Hello everyone is s pleasure to see you all tonight.
>he smiles and waves
Sebastian? What the blast are you doing here? I asked for my oatmeal five minutes ago you tart!!
Now now Ciel I know how you get when you are hungry, but you must watch your weight. You don't want anyone to think any less of you, do you? You just ate.
Hello everyone I have nothing better to do than post bait in a thread full of people who have nothing better to do than fuck each other through the internet and critique their writing in a smartassy fashion
People willingly watch this?
I walk up to the butler. "Sebastian. A pleasure to meet you again." I smile, blushing a bit.
I'm so sorry to discover your allergy to commas. I'm also sorry you're offended so easily. It works, though: the ones with the thin enough skin to get offended stop, the ones who are oblivious enough to ignore it continue - but with the added effect that anyone with a shred of self-awareness avoids doing the same thing - and the ones who get bent out of shape expose themselves as the morons they are.
What a cute little moron.
It has a few amusing gags, and plenty of ecchi appeal. I had fun watching it after turning my brain off. It's formulaic for the most part, but ridiculous enough in its content that it manages to be amusing.
Is that so? I guess you don't want my soul then do you? Oh wait! You can never have it because you can't eat devil souls!!! HAhaha! My god! I love being rich and getting everything I want!
Now bring me my oatmeal you damn Dog! Woof!
This anon is correct:
An ERP board would deteriorate rapidly into a cringe-inducing clusterfuck. /b/ is home.
We need assholes like this:
To keep the hugbox away.
He's making me smile. Stay buttmad.
Haha, wow, you're a complete waste of skin! I bet you'd even luck them or something equally disgusting of I told you to!
Madara is lurking
Why hello there miss Renamon. I do hope you are feeling well.
>he bows and shoes a smile
I'm assuming your stay was to your liking?
Yes my lord.
>he brings you a small bowl of oatmeal with colorful fruit garnishes.
You have a meeting today with the Duke. Shall I make an arrangement for your linens to be pressed?
Our session was interrupted last night
I never thanked you for OP'ing a thread.
ERP needs more people willing to risk the occasional threadban from bored mods.
Thank you, anon. You do the threads a good service. I will be more considerate of multiple OPs in the future.
Haha, wow, you're a complete waste of skin! Now, excuse me for a moment, I've been performing competently up until now, so I need to have a little retard fit and screw my post up to make up for the lack of stupidity.
Bland pleasantries to you, Edge Mistress. More bland pleasantry.
>Bland pleasantry continues.
Now that the blandness is out of the way, I'm assuming the bland was to your liking?
I nod, still smiling happily. "Why yes..." I whisper to you. "And I hope my body was to your liking..." I giggle a bit.
He isn't the OP, but thank you. <3 I OP quite a few of these threads
I need to remind you that I'm smiling to display happiness. "Why yes..." I whisper to you, and not the multitudinous other people I'm speaking to at this very moment. "And I hope my clumsy attempt at sex appeal arouses you..." I giggle, because that's cute.
Who the fuck cares who the OP is? If you're going to wave your dicks around, at least make it an ERP scene that carries some level of interest.
Finally. and No. I'm cancel that for me will you? I've decided I'm spending the day with Elizabeth.
You are quite welcome too, but I was apologizing to the kind anon who made the second thread that I had asked to delete.
ERP will never die.
You hear that, faggot? Never. Die.
Play Undertale. Holy shit it's good.
>You hear that, faggot? Never. Die.
That doesn't explain why you're joining in on a different form of circlejerk. Well, continue to pat each other on the backs, keep up the nauseating camaraderie, since that isn't also a form of cancer on the level of avafagging.
You know what's even more adorable? The level of self-delusion you display, even when attempting to blow those who critique you out of the water. Can we take a moment to address that your portrayal of Renamon is nothing more than your ideal self wearing a furfag suit, with little splashes of private angst tossed in as it suits you? In terms of inconsistency, the only one who rivals you is your character, and that's only as a result of the character being a magnified version of you. Don't whine about being bad, wanting to get better, and then never put any effort into getting better.
We love you too, shitpost-kun.
So are we going to fuck or what?
It was pleasant to say the least...
>he looks you up and down while licking his lips with a devilish grin
Ah yes how is lady Elizabeth? She does seem to adore you so much my lord. Perhaps I make a pleasant lunch for you two today?
Oh, absolutely. Nothing arouses me more than the idea of bending over a mental incompetent and pounding in with all my might. Also, 'Shitpost-kun'? Are you sure you didn't migrate from Hunger Games, where all criticism is removed to the realm of shitposting, or dismissed as being penned by one of the bogeymen?
Watch me be seductive...
>he leers at you creepily and licks his lips. 'but he's a bishounen so it's hot', you're supposed to think.
Problem is, whoever you are that plays Akamaru, or whatever that mutt's name is, the only time I've seen you actually get 'into it' is with Dawn, and I could only applaud that you attempted to keep some measure of effort into your role-playing with that boring plank of plywood.
It IS you!
Hey, Adachi, you petulant child.
How was bowling tonight?
I use these threads as an image dump, so if we could simmer down the autism, that'd be great.
You're cute. You think I care about what you think.
Stop trying. It's pathetic.
I can't be a 5/5 fanfic writer every day. Why don't you try role-playing sometime?
I place my hand on my chin, looking at you. "Hmm... Do you mind if I stay here? I have nowhere else to stay as of current... Will your masters be pleased with my stay?" I ask, awaiting your response.
I don't think you're worthy of that privilege. Beg me to let you.
"...Disgusting," I mutter as I daintily extend one my feet towards you, svelte tires pointed. My expression is how one might be expected to regard a cockroach or other such vermin; it's hard to imagine that I'm not genuinely sickened by your conduct. "But if you're going to, do it properly. Someone like you who's even lower than a dog has no right to stand up like a person. On your knees, and crawl to me."
Even when you're half complementing me it sounds like I should be offended by it, I love it! Never leave.
Why do you have that?
Why don't I have that?
This thread holds nothing but despair. It is not worthy to exist.
Yes, I am quite fond of her as well. If only she was as loony. Capital Idea! You are to prepare her favorite lunch for us today.
>mfw when despair and misery
>I can't be a 5/5 fanfic writer every day.
Be precise with your language. It is not 'I can't be a 5/5 fanfic writer every day', but rather; 'I can't be a 5/5 fanfic writer any day.' You're terrible. You need to look up some guides. You need to read something that isn't garbage-bin level YA fiction.
I place my hand on my chin, and look at you, the main focus of conversation. "Hmm... Do you mind if I have another change in how I present myself? I've found myself in a convenient situation in this poor attempt at a 'storyline'... Let me get that troll you keep replying to into the mix, to add some 'realism' to the situaiton?" These were questions, so I'll indicate that I'm waiting for your response to them; sadly, this might not be a blunder so much as a requirement.
Well, at least it was only one typo, this time.
There is no hope. No light. There is only despair.
Of course you are welcome to stay. My master strives to accommodate any friends in need. He is a shining example of what any young lord should be. I will make sure you are attended to any time you ring.
>he hands you a small glimmering bell. It has the house crest carved into the butt of the handle.
Actually, looking closer
>My expression is how one might be expected to regard a cockroach or other such vermin;
You mean a disgusted sneer, or a cringe, or that you recoiled? You shouldn't spend so many words explaining an action that a verb will call to mind just as easily.
There's no use in living the world is pointless
Fuck, I totally missed that! I'm so embarrassed senpai saw me like this. >////< uguu
As you wish my lord.
>he walks outside setting up a fine dining table in the court yard. He hurls a crisp white cloth over the table and it falls perfectly with a wisp in the air.
Did you have a particular dish in mind my lord?
I'm excited, and I don't try to hide it or be shy. Once I receive my command I do as I'm told, getting on my knees and crawling. I look at her as I crawl until I'm right at her feet.
Didn't like that, did ya? I see you.
Now tell me who I am.
I believe so. But he plays Adachi Tohru on the 8 cocks hunger games circlejerk threads.
Quite well actually.
I take the bell, giving you a hug and kissing your neck. "Thanks~" I head up to the room I was in last night, sleeping mostly. I'm a tired person, okay?
I'm excited. I crawl to her feet, looking at her.
>Now tell me who I am.
A faggot. I'm not part of Hunger Games, but I've seen it play out.
Yeah, which is a good way of explaining it, but a bad way of writing it. That one recoils or cringes has the connotation of being a reflex, so that verb would suffice in place of an entire phrase.
>The sight of you makes me recoil.
>I'm a tired person, okay?
No need to account for out-of-scene actions unless they're relevant. No need to directly address the reader in such a clumsy manner, either. You should leave meta-referencing to those with a semblance of wit.
Sure do you have any human juice?
You ARE a part of it. And it is a part of you.
If posting in these threads brings you some level of joy then I welcome it.
You should ERP more, though. You don't completely suck.
jizzed everywhere again
I'm good. Thanks!
Your lack of inhibition to degrade yourself so does little to improve my opinion of you. I lean my upper body back, resting my weight on my elbows, scoff, "I should apologize to ask dogs fit comparing you to them. You're closer to an ant than something with intelligence like a dog," and jab the air just in front of your face with my toes. "Smell it and tell me how much you love the stench of worn boots and how happy you are that a goddess like me is giving someone so lowly the privilege of servicing them."
>You ARE a part of it. And it is a part of you.
Thanks for further ingraining the image of a creepy cult into my mind, as an association with the /hga/ community.
>You should ERP more, though. You don't completely suck.
First, who says I haven't. Second, why would I at this point, when this is much more entertaining?
Mmm! Chikkan. Good.
Honestly: read a style guide, and brush up on best practices. Beyond that, you're levels above most others in terms of your ability to write. Have more faith in your reader, too.
If you're entertained, then rock and roll, nuclear cowboy.
Rock and roll. Just don't hurt the people you care about, ya know?
>have faith in your reader
Ugh, I would love to... It seems like whenever I leave the slightest bit of wiggle room, my partner completely misinterprets what I was going for.
I'm pleased to know you think so highly of my RPing. Where would I find a style guide? Just google "roleplay style guide"? Sorry if it's a dumb question, but I've never heard of something like that before.
>made by someone on deviantart
An English style guide. The Elements of Style is what I would first recommend. Read all sections, but concentrate most on the first.
As for your misgiving on misinterpretation: to place more faith in your reader does not mean to omit what is needed, but to rely on your reader's imagination by using words which are intended to evoke it in the manner you require it be evoked. This requires some risk, you may end up with misinterpretation regardless of your skill or lack thereof, but ultimately reads better than simple declarations and explanations.
I walk out of the room, yawning and stretching a bit before I close the door behind me. "Mmm... That was a good nap." I roam around the mansion, looking at the various objects that are located on the walls. After a while, my stomach starts to growl. "I'm a little hungry... Hmm... I wonder what I should eat."
Nah. This is heaven.
Enjoy the ride, anon.
>Shoves my dick in your butt.
Hello everyone! Do you need some help spicing things up here?
You know it.
Oh eww, am I gonna have to brush up on syntax? I hate that shit.
Yes, actually. Tarragon is on the first shelf; oregano, on the second; thyme, on the third. A tablespoon of the first two, half of the third. I'll handle the mixing and pouring, dear.
Oh well, I think I can do that...
Now let me see...
Oh! Hello there mister; name's Catherine! Who might you be?
Uh, Catherine, sir...
Who are you, and do I even want to know?
Uh, okay, I think I got it!
>Hands you the measured seasons.
Is this good? But what is this sauce for anyway?
Naturally. It seems as though I lost the worm I was amusing myself with, so I plan to depart shortly. If you wanted some time with my wonderful self, I fear you are simply out of luck. For tonight, anyway.
Hahaha, ouch... You've given me some real food for thought. Thank you.
>My words are clipped, and my tone dry. After my quip, I take the measured portions and dump them into the sauce, a red one, which simmers in a saucepan a size too large for its contents.
And the sauce is just here as a clumsy pretext. It isn't meant to cover anything.