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medfags bread. doctors, nurses, EMTs, combat medics and lifesavers,

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 21
Thread images: 1

medfags bread.

doctors, nurses, EMTs, combat medics and lifesavers, tell your story. mine is here:

>be me, 20 years old and in the middle east killing terrorists
>have some decent medical training
>have a terp that gets shot - bullet entering the shoulder and exiting through the chest into his body armor
>FUCKING PNEUMOTHORAX BATMAN
>perform needle chest decompression
>mfw he dies from blood loss anyway
>>
Pneumothorax sucks anon. I got yelled at by s nurse because my pt who was in a car wreck had it but didn't report it because I didn't know. She said I should have been able to hear it. It was s fucking pin hole in the right lung. If it's an open wound, just cover it. Thanks for serving /b/ro
>>
cpr is crazy... snap crackle pop
>>
camp bucca guard in 07. shoot arab with torpedo round less than 15 ft away. eyeball pops out. other detainee rushes me xm28, he drops, didn't stop shaking, has full on seizure shits himself dies. eyeless gets up so I beat him with wooden baton until head implodes. old man originally pulled out cause he was being released that day has heart attack from the excitement and dies.

3 for 1 deal. feel great about it tbh.no investigation cause they rushed me.
>>
>>646644532

Hey bud, I realize this is a bit off topic, but I've been interested in joining the ranks. I have no experience in the field other than First Aid, AED, First Responder, CPR training (i'm a security contractor). I have assisted in several crisis situations and have saved a life while on duty. I'm not blood shy and I find what little experience I have to be very interesting.

What would you say to a guy looking to get into the EMT field?

Does it require college degrees of any kind?

Any advice for someone like me?
>>
>>646645723
my pleasure. getting paid to kill people legally is some kind of dream come true. still, fuck that nurse.
>>646645962
sometimes.
>>646646051
bizarre. pretty decent if true. and wooden baton? fucking old school nigga knocking frealz.
>>
>>646646474
Hey mate, you can be 16 and be an EMT, so the requirements are low. All you need is CPR. It's s fun course! I enjoyed it
>>
Med student here
>me passing by gynobs
>gotta check those old ladies before they go to surgery
>mfw they check me back
>mfw not into gilf
>mfw no face
>>
>>646646474
i'm not an EMT, i just spent time in combat with some medical training. i'm currently a 911 dispatcher of 7+ years.

i really respect EMTs. those jobs don't necessarily require college degrees, but they require a shitload of education and training. i think it is a noble field to pursue so long as you can afford/pass the required education.
>>
doctors are heroes
Post those greentext about enduring stupid patients
>that fat woman who aborted without knowing she was pregnant
>>
>>646646934
CPR is a foundational requirement for EMT work, but saying that is all you need is like saying all you need to be a computer programmer is to understand nested if statements.
>>
>>646647511
OP here. doctors = heroes no doubt. i'm equally interested in a stupid fucking patient thread/comments.

>heard one where a guy got tested for diabetes after finding out his one night stand was diabetic
>heard another where a 30 year old woman had no idea having intercourse could result in pregnancy
>>
>>646647930
checked OP
>>
>>646644532
were u a medic or corpsman?
>>
>>646646767
yeah, it was a wooden baton. we had collapsible metal ones that look like an asp but was the size of a baseball bat. the wooden ones were quicker to use and more reliable with all the dust and sand corroding the expandable batons.
>>
>>646647076
Samefag
>me rotating by internal medicine
>this 78 year old coughing gramps is hospitalized
>read history: possible lung cancer with brain meta
>welp.jpg
>gotta interview him
>"hello mr gramps, how are you feeling today? My name is anon, i need to verify some stuff with you so if you pleas..."
>"shut up fucking faggot"
>"W-what?"
>"Shut up fucking faggot"
>herewego.png
>" Mr gramps, i need some information from you, if you please, it wont take long. And im not insulting you so please dont do it"
>"Fine but make it quick"
>"Where you a smoker?"
>"WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT ME MOTHERFUCKER DO YOU THINK THAT IM ABLE TO SMOKE LIKE THIS"
>panic
>I didnt mean that i just n
>SHUT UP ILL FUCKING KILL YOU
> Mr gramps, please im just trying to help
>ILL PUNCH YOUR FUCKING FACE
>fuckthishit
>try me
>he tries to move arms but they are paralized because of metas
>keks for days
>>
>>646648787
i was an infantryman and combat lifesaver, with some extra medical knowledge that i pursued independently.
>>
>>646647511
>that patient that tried to suicide with placebos
>>
>>646649446
csl ahah basically a corpsman right haha jk thats cool man what branch?
>>
>>646649234
understood.
>>646649309
multikeks understood and supported. a good friend of mine is a BSN nurse in neuro sciences and has some good stories to tell. saw one on FB today that said something like "please don't ride in the bed of a truck and get into a collision at high speeds. it makes my job even harder."
>>
>>646650077
checking your dub dubs.

army fag reporting in. i was much better trained in ending life than saving it but you know. it takes all kinds.
Thread posts: 21
Thread images: 1


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