You're on a blind date and you're struggling to impress

>>613844908
Go take a shit bitch.

>>613844908
COCKS

>>613844908
I whip it out. Right on the table.

The balls are in her court.

>>613844908
Hey bitch, go take a shit.

>>613844908
If we're going to fuck then let's go get with it

>>613844908
So... will you be voting UKIP? I really think Nigel Farage is the right man to lead our country.

>>613844908
Go wash your face you greasy bitch.

>>613844908
Fuck you, bitch. I don't have to impress you.

So... What ya wearin?

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>>613844908
I GOT ENOUGH SWAGGER TO MAKE THE WHOLE WORLD STAGGER, I GOT ENOUGH SWAGGER TO MAKE THE WHOLE WORLD STAGGER, I GOT ENOUGH SWAGGER TO MAKE THE WHOLE WORLD STAGGER!!!!!!!!!

>>613844908
I like your bracelet

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>>613844908
are they real?

I'm intelligent, mentally stable, and financially secure. What can you bring to the table that I can't provide for myself? Impress me.

>>613844908
I let my Tourette's do the talking

>NIGGER TITS

sauce on OP's pic?

>>613844908

I'd be a fuckin' alpha male & ask her, "so what should a guy say to you when he's trying to impress you, that would actually impress you?"

>>613844908
tits / gtfo

>>613844908
a shit: It's what you should take bitch.

>>613844908
I have an IQ 187 and am still left speechless
I'm a writer but words are out of grasp
I'm a wonderful orator but I can't seem to say
>yadda yadda
...come over and fuck

>>613845901
bait? thats the most beta thing you could say fucking idiot

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>>613844908
I google for her nudes and proceed to masturbate to them in front of her

Did I ever tell you the definition of insanity?

>>613844908
Betake undergo a shit brach

>>613845663
This.

Also, obvious answer: tits/vagina

>>613846271

heh, shows what you know. I've actually been in that situation & asked that. Girls love it 'cause it's very sincere & honest. Some giggled at me & thought it's cute, and others found it interesting that I dared ask it. It turns out to be quite impressive to show your vulnerabilities.

i talk so much shit so i hardly ever run out, but on dates i try and make them do the talking and then find something that is cute to tease her about. just anything that gets us laughing and joking around.
when we are a bit more boozy the teasing will get more touchy feely. by this point she should be game for making out, because we happen to have our faces accidentally to close to each other.

i feel that guys think the date is their test for approval, just turn it back on them. that shift in dynamics is refreshing. (helps if your 7+/10)

>>613844908
Hey bebe wan sum fuk?

>>613846816
>quite impressive to show your vulnerabilities.
It's never impressive to show vulnerabilities. Women do not want to see men vulnerable. You did not show them weakness, you asked, in an unconventional way, to tell you what they find interesting.

>>613844908
I can run really fast.

>>613846946
>i talk so much shit
Beta tactics.

>>613844908
you know, you kind of look like a man

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>>613847610

>>613844908
you look like my sister, lets fuck

>>613844908
>blind date
>cast esuna to cure blindness

>>613847700
i mean i dont run out of anecdotes, and conversation topics.

>>613846816
hell fucking no. no girl wants a guy to ask her what to say. sincerity and honesty are not what a girl looks for in a first impression. you are clearly expressing common fantasy because it's such an easy thing to say

999 right here

and you wonder why youre all virgins

Wonderful weather we're having, aye?

>>613847492

LOL you must date stupid women then, 'cause any chick worth my time understand I'd be admitting a vulnerability. And yeah, women do like to see that a man ain't perfect, that he's in control but is also a bit vulnerable. They eat that stuff up and it helps me get me in their pants quicker than trying to be something I'm not.

>>613844908
BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD
SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE

>>613847492
>You did not show them weakness, you asked, in an unconventional way, to tell you what they find interesting.
no woman is going to look deeply into the meaning of that question to think that. that is not what any woman would think if they were asked such a question on a date. it clearly shows a weakness that the man has to essentially ask the woman how to impress her

>>613847907

I'm 41 & slept with over 200 people. I think I know what women like.

>>613844908
Oh Hi, ya wanna see some maymays I recollect for yah??

I can wrap my pinky around my dick.

>>613845196
And then in her mouth

I still can't believe that it's 2015 and people still read their archaic scriptures and pray to their imaginary gods.

Say nothing, beautiful girls are used to beta males always filling in awkward silences that they are the ones that are socially retarded, they forgot how to speak to someone, so an awkward silence comes up, say nothing, let the pressure build and learn to love the awkwardness, don't break eye contact and eventually she will give in and she'll be forced to ask YOU a question

Anyone got any porn accounts i can have?

Jet fuel can't melt steel beams.

>>613848613
sure dude

bit ly/1ICMsRR

>>613844908
>struggling to impress her
Seriously? Here's one. Say "This is boring, let's get the fuck outta here and something else". Something to impress. Goddamn the autism.

>>613848694
thanks mate

ask her if she has ordered the house special tendies before

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>>613848285

>>613848400
That's funny, apparently you still don't know what women want if you've been thru over 200 of them and still haven't found the right one. Clearly it is you, not them, that has a problem.

Oh man I fuckin hate when that happens. " So..... what do you do for fun?" Something like that

>>613848694
based anon is based

>>613844908
The worst question to ask is "What do you want?" since most have no idea. You need to lead them. Asking her about the last concert she was it is a good start. If she isn't good at that, I'll leave her at the table.

"so this giant meteor is hurdling towards earth that will destroy the whole world in an hour unless you comply to the request of this mad genius that has a ray gun to shoot the meteor and saving the world. The request is that you must have sex with a 10 year old boy on film, what do you do?"

>>613848802
haha got 'im

>>613848694
The hero /b/ deserves

Say nothing. Stare deep into her eyes and take a sip from my wife glass. Wipe excess residue off my lips, and resold the towel over my lap. Continue to stare her directly into her eyes.

Finally, she breaks her silence.

"is something the matter Anon?"

“No, Alexandra, nothing is the matter."

"but, Anon, you're looking at me like you haven't seen another human being before."

"Well, you're wrong. I've seen plenty of humans. It's just that, I don't know if you're my type. You're great and all, but I think I can do much better. "

" I can change for you Anon, tell me what you want. I just want to be yours."

>>613848694
ayy lmao thanks

>>613844908
"it's as if you know that once you open your mouth i'll stick my dick in it...."

>>613849705
yeah, here's how that really ends up going:


"Well, you're wrong. I've seen plenty of humans. It's just that, I don't know if you're my type. You're great and all, but I think I can do much better. "

" Pbbbb....get real you fucking loser" [bitch walks away]

>>613844908

Fuck her right in the pussy

>>613848694
daamn

>>613846479
that's better. Now I can talk to her fearless...

>>613850231

Implying. Girls should never be impressed. Of she's not impressed with you, why are you on a date at all?

>>613848694
I thought this was fake. sorry for doubting you mate

>>613844908
Tits or gtfo

>>613844908
"first tiem at this restorant¿"

>>613845441
SO FUCKING UNDERRATED

>>613848201
>any chick worth my time
lol

>admitting a vulnerability
>not possessing creepy stalker-like knowledge a vulnerability
>not possessing telepathy a vulnerability
K. You did something, i'll give you that, but it's not a vulnerability to say you don't know how to read her fucking mind. You played her and she's obviously not smart enough to catch that. As it would happen, I am.

>he's in control but is also a bit vulnerable
I dont even...

>They eat that stuff up
These are the same women that eat up horoscope bullshit. Do you tell them you have the same sign?

You're being unique and interesting, i'll definitely give you that. What I won't give you is that being some sort of vulnerability.

>>613844908
them titties look nice
anal?

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>>613844908

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>>613844908
Unbearable, isn't it? The suffering of strangers, the agony of friends. There is a secret song at the center of the world, Joey, and its sound is like razors through flesh.

>>613848694
>>613850545
same

>>613848694
/thread

>>613848394
Holy shit, are you saying women are that fucking bonkers they can't easily pick up on something as silly and lazy as that? It's totally a pickup artist line.

My weakness is physical strength because i'm lazy. Are women going to be into that because they won't look into it on a date?

In a fancy, left field way he asked her what she likes. That's not weakness. It's honestly stupid if you ask it in a normal person way. Miss, what do you like. What do you find interesting? Why does that not receive the exact same response when it is for all intents and purposes the exact same question phrased differently.

>>613844908
Your tits are really distracting.

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>>613844908
excrete thine waste promptly, land trunt.
Your presence doth disgust me,
both in thine promiscuity and in how thine breasts shunt
thine garment neck outwardly.
Thou art married, the ring thou wears implies.
Yet thou find thine self eating dinner with an unwed man.
The chair thou sits upon is one of deceit and lies.
The mere act of quaffing thine liquor is an act of treason, an act that will fan
the flames of thy demise.
thine husband will find and accuse you.
your word, it denies.
In the end, it is this night you will rue
The bracelet thou wearith, it appears quite expensive,
to afford thou would have flaunted thy naked body for many a men, how offensive.

Nothing

I let the silence run its course

it's called sexual tension

>>613848694
This needs to happen more often

>>613845901
kek

>>613844908
Uh... nice tits

>>613844908
Are you into hotglue?

>>613844908
It's really easy, listen for the word she says in any sentence during small talk that is our of place. Example; All this rain lately. Yeah but it's good for the plants. Now you know skew wants to talk about or it's passionate about plants. Probe her on the discovered topic. The more talking she does the more interesting you'll be to her because you're making her feel important via listening to her monolouge.

Tldr; acquire social skills.

>>613852048
Did you actually take the time to write a sonnet for this?

>>613846479
those are some nice nipples

>>613848201
>trying to impress
>vulnerable

Pick one beta fag

"Do you go on 4chan?"

>>613845663
That's the most autistic thing I've read all night. Holy fuck. Cringed/10

>>613844908
"you know, I could give you the ol' lickaroo"

>>613855727
>oldfag detected

my nigga

>>613844908

they didn't have your size where you bought that dress, did they?

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>>613852048
here, take this rare as shit pepe

>>613844908
You have to eat ALL the eggs.

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>>613847610

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>>613844908

>>613844908
she reminds me of steven segal

>>613844908
The music in here is too loud.
This food isn't very good.
My feet hurt.
I wish I was at home playing football manager.
Would you like to see my regens?

>>613856941
holy shit that's rare. Thanks m80!

>>613844908
So, that dress

Did they not have it in your size?

>>613844908
I'd say quietly "something cam in the mail today"
she'd say "what"
I scream https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LlQNty_C8s

>>613844908
I'm asexual, so don't worry about me expecting anything.

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Here, You dont have to tell me what happened, but you do have to eat this.

I love what you've done with your breasts. My wife isn't nearly as attractive as you.

>>613844908
"So word around town is that you got a big dick"
*wink*

>>613844908
If you were my woman, you'd never have to wear clothes too small for you again.

>>613859296
i've used this on over 300 women and they all instantly wanted to fuck

the science behind this is that when you tell her about the eggs she will release a bunch of sex things in the air and she'll be turned on as fuck

>>613859296
kek

>>613844908
So is that your natural skin color?

>>613854505
You're 16
He's right

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Jets can't steal belt memes

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Show her this, and tell her it's in the shop.

Wanna see how many pushups I can do?

>>613844908
My first name is Connor and the middle one's Angus.

ITT:
>People who have never been on a date before

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I'm going to be playing video games all day tomorrow. You can come over and do my laundry if you want.

>>613861046
That's because most people here probably aren't in their 40s. Who still goes on dates?

Do you know how to make dinner because my mom says now that I'm 30 I have to make my own.

>>613844908
H-Hey, well... the w-weather is fine, isn't i-it? W-Wanna go home a-and watch some m-movies? I-I recorded M-My Little Pony.

Ahem, Niga niga niga, wot's it gona take, tow let me get widga widga widga.

>>613848400
200 at 41? im 26 and damned near 170..

>>613861806
That sounds exhausting.

Wait, are you actually blind?
*wavy hands*
hellooooo?

>>613852980
Then you do rape yeaaaaas?

Good thing you're blind. I'd hate to have to look at your face in the mirror every day. I'll still fuck you though, since I already shaved my dick.

>>613846271
It's all in the presentation. Saying a beta line like you don't give a fuck isn't beta at all, it's alpha. There's nothing more alpha than not giving a fuck.

Stand, we go now it's sex time.

Jet fuel can't melt steel beams

>>613844908
I find the most erotic body part of the woman, the boobies

>>613852980
This isn't an example of social skills. This is an example of autism. This is how Twitter bots and serial killers socialize.

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>>613853848
Gotta love this place

I can throw a football a quarter mile

i bet your fanny smells like a delicate tulip covered in fresh puppy wee.

>>613844908
let us fuccccckkkkkk!!!!

If I said you had a beautiful body, would you take your pants off and dance around a little?

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>>613844908
Anyone know her name?

140 posts

no mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm'lady

disappointed

>>613863804
I find the most exotic part of a woman is the boobies.

>>613848394
No. Asking what impresses her implies you don't care enough about what impresses her to actually think about it. You're not going to waste any extra time and just take the fastest, least thoughtful method, which is to simply ask.

On the one hand, it's insensitive. On the other hand, and far more importantly, it shows moral fortitude that a man isn't hung up on what others think.

>>613864278
erotic*

I'm just looking for a female swollen with eggs to accept my genetic material.

>>613864310
It shows you're a faggot who sucks on cocks.

Now get over it. Women don't want your clingy beta bullshit. Just STFU already.

Plop those roundies

Lady, you have a wine now from me, so please, you place foot on my dick please. Ver good. Now move toes a little, good I like dis.

>>613862981

No, asking people about their interests is what you do on a date.

> Learn who they are

>>613864310
Excuse me can you stop talking about my lady friend she is playing her foot on balls right now. Go be gay so where else.

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>>613848694

Careful.
There is real content but also a shitton of viruses.
Something tried to access my router configurations, prompting a pop up requestion login at 192.168.0.1:80.
Then, a popup opened and something started and finished downloading in the background before I could even click anything.
This would happen every 5 seconds.
Only thing I could do was ctrl+a and ctrl+c the whole page and copy it on a text editor for them passwordz

Wash your cunt

I'm a true 4channer.

>>613865806

>not browsing on a VM linux browser image that auto formats every night at 5am

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>>613852048
Top level OC
Very underrated post

>>613844908
She can fill the silence if she want. Like I'm afraid of awkwardness.

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>>613865806
Delete your system32 and everything will be fixed

DON'T JUST STARE AT IT, EAT IT!

>>613848400
>41 on b

Pathetic

>>613852048


Well I knew I came to 4chan for a reason today.

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>>613866868
well meme'd

So uh, I eat ass.

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>>613848400
>41
>/b/tard
>slept with hundreds of "people"

Confirmed craigslist slave

>>613844908
what do you have to offer other than your fading beauty? like for fucks sakes you can't even make conversation... can you at least suck a good dick?

>>613844908
I know none of you will believe this.... But if you are trying to impress... You already lost

What the fuck did you fucking say about me you little bitch? ill have you know....

>>613848400
Oooh yeah? I'm 70 and I've sleep with over 350 girls! Beat THAT!

>>613865151
to be fair, you seem pretty sperg'd out to me too brotha

Pass the salt

>>613852048
this is archiv-able shit

>>613864019
Nobody knows. It's one of Hayley's secrets.

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>>613844908
Stand up and turn around.

>>613847846
My nerd.

>>613861485
People that get laid

>>613861806
Why that many different people? I like variety as much as anyone but I'd much rather fuck 20 chicks a lot then 200 once

>>613870215
It's called Tinder, grandpa.

her name is joey fisher guys

>>613871157
We know. We're all on a date with her right now. We're totally crushing it.

>>613871139
B8/10