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ITT: greentext stories from your life that you mostly just keep

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

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ITT: greentext stories from your life that you mostly just keep to yourself because they sound too fucking crazy to be true

>be me, 18 years old and weeaboo as fuck
>just graduated and i decide to spend a year in another country before i go to college. obviously choose japan, thinking anime has already taught me all the japanese i need
>get there and realize i know absolutely nothing about japanese culture and or the language. complete strangers laugh at me to my face when i try to speak japanese
>host family is really cool and speaks english far better than i speak japanese. teach me enough conversational japanese to get by, but mostly communicate to me in broken english
>can't really pronounce my name right (turns out "robert" is a tough one with a japanese accent) and for reasons i can't understand they insist on calling me mr. robert. found it kind of annoying at first, but by the end of the first few months, they were like family to me and i came to find it endearing
>since i need to save up for school, i work for them at their family restaurant
>can't help customers because of the language barrier and get stuck doing all the really shitty manual labor jobs, stocking, dishes, cleaning, etc.
>work hard because i like these people and they eventually trust me enough to give me a set of keys to the restaurant to let me open the restaurant and lock it up at night, since everyone else hates staying late and coming in early to do it
>find out the first night doing this that there's a door in the back of their walk-in cooler. behind it is simply a ladder that leads down to a series of doors and hallways
>ask the host father about it and he mostly shrugs it off, explaining in semi-intelligible english that he doesn't go down there, he inherited the restaurant from when his father died and doesn't really care what's down there. that works for me for a week or so
>curiosity gets the better of me and i start exploring the area after i close up and everyone is gone
Oh god please continue
>realize that the basement is huge and extremely complicated to navigate. even with all of my experience with dungeon-crawl rpg's, it takes me months to search its entirety and construct a decent mental map
>many of the doors are locked or cemented closed, but the ones that open lead into rooms with all sorts of odd things, one with a series of large vats that look like they were once implimented in the production of something illicit, what looked like the charred remnants of an armory, and several rooms that could've easily once been interrogation rooms
>the last thing i discover is a door that opens into an abandoned subway tunnel. from inside the tunnel, the door looks like some sort of maintenance closet or something
>start thinking that grandpa host was in with some very bad people, but don't say anything, because i don't want to tell them i've been snooping
>eventually i grow bored with the basement and nearly forget about it altogether until one night when the host dad and i are closing together. he's on the counter and i'm cleaning up, when two guys come through the door who clearly aren't there to eat
>they're in street clothes, one looks he hasn't seen soap in months, and the other has a nasty scar on his face
>scarface snarls something in japanese at the only remaining patron who hastily leaves his half finished plate and bolts through the door
>soapless locks it behind him
>the host father is trembling now, holding his hands up as though he's pleading with them and shouts something i can't understand. but the terror in his voice speaks for itself
>scarface replies and i catch the word otousan, which i've learned means father. then he pulls out a knife
Keep going!!
>before i even realize it, i've grabbed my host father by the wrist and am dragging him towards the back of the kitchen. one of the thugs shouts something and i can hear them jumping over the counter
>once we're in the cooler i tip a shelving unit over and open the back door to the basement
>host dad looks at me with understanding and i know he'll follow me. by the time we're at the bottom of the ladder, i can hear soapless and scarface moving the shelves out of the way and i don't waste any time. i'm booking it for the back exit
>for a middle-aged guy, host dad seems pretty in shape and keeps up with me as i make what seems like an endless series of rights and lefts, openning and closing doors behind us
>we keep running long after we can't hear them behind us anymore and don't stop until we're in the subway
>standing there on the abandoned platform hunched over and gasping for air, host dad starts thanking me profusely, tears streaming down his face, so emotional that he keeps slipping into japanese then back to english
>mfw i realize that robert with a japanese accent sounds like robah-toh
>domo arigato, mr. robah-toh, domo, domo. thank you very much, mr. robah-toh, for doing the jobs nobody wants to and thank you very much, mr. robah-toh, for helping me escape just when i needed to
> so when everybodys gone home I climb down this ladder at the end of the walk in chiller.
> I walk down a small hallway and open the door.

Dis gun be good
Hell yeah
continue ya bastard
Dino walk floor the door prehistoric spaghetti monster nigger nigger nigger faggot nigger.
not OP.
this is OP
Please continue. But I just want you to know I'm so ficking satisfied with this, OP. You're doing a good thing.
No shit. I was like three posts too late.
OP is a badass
We can tell. I don't care how this ends. That last post made my day.
Nice dubs
Go OP show us how you got your ticket to vahala
just lol'd so hard my neighbor banged on the wall to let me know i woke them up
thanks for that. today, op is not a faggot.
I... I'm not sure I understand...
I need this
do you even music?
>I've… seen things you people wouldn't believe… Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those… moments… will be lost in time, like [small cough] tears… in… rain. Time… to die…
itt: anons don't get the joke, don't realize the story is over, and hang out in a thread hoping for more when there's none coming
>itt: anons don't get the joke, don't realize the story is over, and hang out in a thread hoping for more when there's none coming
I came.
>be me, 19 and beta as fuck.
>going to college but in reality, I'm just buying time, I don't know what what souless job I want to spend on for the rest of my life.
>Work part-time delivering pizzas.
>One night as I'm delivering, I walk to the customers door.
>Normal routine.
>I ring the doorbell, wait, "oh great, one of these guys" takes forever.
>Suddenly, feel something poke my back.
Noice. Went with the Sopranos ending to your story.
>Opened the door
>Got on the floor
>Did the dinosaur
You beauty.
>look behind myself, nothing was there.
>slightly confused and annoyed, ring the doorbell again.
>look through window, it's dark but I can make out some movement.
>again feel a poking at my back.
>turn around.
>nothing was there.
>nothing was there.
>nothing was there.

>return to car and drive back to store.
Hey 4chan

I have alot of extreme unusual violent dreams and thoughts and i often at times have very threatening thoughts of people when i am around them.

I do my very best try to be on the good calm side but i cannot stop my random violent mind.

Like this one time i had this dream where i was going around and cutting young children's throats infront of their families as i am laughing loud while naked in my dream.

Another time when i was buying food from the grocery store i saw a mother with her husband and a small little girl and my mind started to visualize on how the mother would be strapped in bed with her stomach sliced open with the father prying his own teeth out one by one while fucking the young child that is missing a head that just so happens to be inside the mother's cut open stomach and once after my mind got done visualizing it i just smile at the family and waved my hand at them and they did the same to me but i am concerned about my own mentality.

Also there was this one time i was at a park and i saw a young toddler with his grandmother with a puppy and then suddenly my mind jumped to a scenario where the grandmother's head was split right open and her heart was torn out from her body and i was holding a rock and bashing the little toddler's face and i took out my pocket knife and i cut open the stomach then i took the puppy and strangled it with my bare hands till it stopped breathing then i snapped the neck of the small dog and shoved it inside the dead boy then right after that thought i blinked a few times and i looked at them and i smiled at the puppy and said to them how cute the little dog is and they smiled.

But i would never do any of that stuff like that to any family or anyone around me at all and i am thankful i can control these things in my mind.

Also i own guns and i got them all legally as well passing the background check and also the doctor told me I'm healthy and cannot wait to start a family with my girlfriend!
>be me
>17yo kissless high school junior betafag
>sense of humor darker than a nigger
>have hopeless attraction to 15yo qt3.14, realize shes totally out of my league
>prom is coming up, decide its my best chance to get grill
>friends tell me to be dramatic with my proposal, good (horrible) ideas form
>spend all night lightly singing paper for old parchment effect
>school next day, in english class, time for final step
>knife out under table, cut hand and use blood to write "Prom?" on prepared paper
>teacher suspects im texting, tells me to show my hands
>well fuck
>instantly sent to office for self harm, am told to explain my reasoning
>walking down halls, happily sucking blood off hand, see qt3.14 at locker, totally oblivious to my presence
>approach silently, holding paper
>clear throat, grill turns around
>grinning maniacally, teeth stained with my own blood, holding prom request out proudly
>end up with five detentions, have to talk with counselor
>parents are called and I am eventually suspended for a week in place of detentions
>school now thinks I am clinically insane, other students scared of me, even teachers start to go out of their ways to be nice to me
Honicidal ideations are completely normal.
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> world war one
> great german uncle was in the army
> he did his best to try to fight for the german empire and for his family he had at home
> 1917
> he was struck in the right side of his head by a british bullet but somehow survive due to the helmet taking in almost all of the impact
> badly hurt but still strong and brave
> he did not want to die in the war because he has a young brother back at home ( great grandfather )
> later on in the war he was told not to leave the trenches because they needed men to stay and fight
> by this time he was starting to actually lose it all
> due to the massive damage on his head and the constant fucking mortars going off and the costant near explosions
> he only get three or four hours of sleep due to the costant fears of the enemy sneaking up at night if cought off guard
> 1918
> he loses it
> he wanted to go home to his family and his wife and kids and as well to be there for his young brother ( again my great grandfather )
> he was thinking of killing his overseers in their sleep and make his escape
> he had thoughts of cutting off his leg so he would be forced to be removed from service
> he even had thoughts of just using the mustard gas on his own men while wearing the gas mask and risk being poisoned himself or taken as prisoner
> he had many many many thoughts of insanely suicidal ideas just so he could just go home
> one morning
> one of the other german soldiers find him in a corner just smiling and crying to himself
> "gott hilf mir, gott hilf mir, gott hilf mir"
> holding his journal he have in his hand close to his chest
> one of the men approach him and he snaps
> he tries to kill the other german man by scratching and biting him while screaming out to god
> they tackle him down and had him beat up to get him out of it

> the other germans are discussing on what to do with the situation with my great uncle that have now completely lost his mind
> they found him trying to eat a dead rat because he was somehow -hungry- when they have forced fed him when he refused to eat
> one of the higher rank germans had two guys to keep an eye on my great uncle
> he was drawing a picture of his family on the dirt
> badly made drawing but it helped him calmed down just a bit
> he cried whenever he thinks of his young brother and his family he had at home
> one day an artillery shell hit the trench he was in
> multiple deaths occurred but many wounded
> British soldiers open fire upon the men that where trying to escape from the tranches
> my great uncle and few of other men were either too badly hurt or smart enough not to even try in order to take chance of being taken in alive as prisoners
> luckily the British soldiers that invaded the place where not the shoot first and ask later assholes ( I'm talking about you russian and americans! )
> fuck british also
> my great uncle and his men are as well taking as prisoners of war and where held in british military jail
> after the war ended he was taken to an insane asylum due to his mental disorders from the war
> was not allowed to return to his home or to even be moved to a german asylum because british government say's so
> years later his family get news of where he is finally and they saved up the money and even used their savings to go to the united Shitdom
> alot of hassle and bullshit but his family made it to the country
> many many many prejudices and racism against his family because they were germans and the war that have happened
> they finally found the place my great uncle was locked up at when they got to the place
> when they got there they were horrified by how much damage his mind was in
> he did not recognised his family at first but he recognised his young brother
> somehow he knew his own brother after all that

> my great uncle that is mentally ill starts to cry and break down into a broken man
> he finally got to see his young brother in his life time and he remembers his family at that point as well
> they all start crying except the british people that were there to keep him from -hurting himself-
> great uncle starts to apologize for everything he have ever done wrong and for every mistake he have made in his life
> he was in tears to the point his eyes were bloodshot red from the crying
> his wife and kids were crying and sad because of what he had to go through
> great uncle starts to remember all the war chaos and the horrors of it
> he almost loses it before his wife grabbed him and hugged him real tight to try to calm him down
> rest of his family hugs him
> after several hours of the reunion
> the family where told to leave because visiting time was over and they have to come back another time
The wife ask's the man that runs the fucking place on when her husban can be let home ( she tried her best in broken English )
> only british fucker ever actually showed a heart to her and told her that it is going to be a while before he is considered -healthy and fixed- or whatever
> fuck british still
> the family where sad and frustrated but had to deal with the laws and rules on the situation of this
> the family made sure they would try their best to visit him often as much as they can whenever they make enough money for the trip
> this helped great uncle heal little by little and was starting to return to normal
> 8 years later
the british health shit guys finally calls him off as healed or healthy or whatever the fuck they say
> he is released but alot of bullshit medications he have to be put on in order to insure his -safety-
> family where already there to finally take him home
> after bullshit of the getting him to be back in germany from the british law bullshit
> he is back at home
> great uncle is finally home with his family
> finally home

> 1930
> life is severely hard and limited
> the family is struggling to work hard to make enough to just make ends meet and as well buy food at least
> great uncle starts to have a worrying feeling about the future
> he is starting to have nightmares about the war and have bad thoughts of the future
> no matter how many meds he takes he continues to have bad nightmare of the future but he does not know what or why
> great uncle tries to get a job but it is hard
> family are worried about his mental health due to his war times
> he tries his best not to show his worries because of his time in the asylum and he does not want to be back in that hellhole in United Shitdom
> later on in the months he managed to somehow convinces his wife and his other relatives to start saving up on the money and to try to make enough to move to a different country
> he had not planned on a country but whatever he was feeling he knew he must not stay in germany because of his nightmares
> 1936
> he starts to notice alot of changes in germany despite of the country starting to rebuild again
> his family where feeling better about Germany's economy but he was not
> he made up his mind to have him and his family move to the united states because whatever is going to happen he felt that he would be safe away from any future wars if he is in the united states
> him and his family including his young brother ( great grandfather ) finally have enough money to move to the united states
> after they move to the united states he was faced with the same hostility he faced in the United Shitdom but at least it was not as bad as it was
> he manages to get a job in the country and his family try to adapt to the united states lifestyle
> later on in his old age he noticed his nightmares were pretty much true when world war two broke out
> him and his family where glad that they made the right choice to move out just in time before it started

That is the story of my great german uncle
This pasta seems fresh
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Very bad pasta
Also chekt
i like that story, thanks anon
I have something to share with you 4chan.

Me and my wife have a 8 year old girl that we love and care.

Whenever my daighter is sucking my dick my wife likes to lick her little pussy and whenever my little daughter starts licking her mothers pussy I push my dick into her butt

I remember how my wife encouraged our 8 year old daughter to suck on my dick while my wife was fingering her pussy.

After I started to push my dick into my wife's pussy my wife and daughter were kissing on the lips and exploring each others mouths with their tongues

And whenever I cum inside my wife's pussy our little girl goes in and licks up the cum from her mother's pussy and then we all snuggled on the bed together and sleep.

We been doing this since she was 4 years old and she really enjoys it alot and loves doing it with us.

We love our daughter very much and we love each other and I'm glad I have a very good healthy normal loving family.

To be honest this is actually the truth I'm telling you

Me and my wife love our daughter very much and we were never do anything to hurt our daughter and we show pure passion and love for our little girl

Our little girl knows this too and she knows how much we love her and I know on the way that our family goes is not common to your views but please understand that i love my wife and daughter and so does my wife.

Also I'm hoping for us to have a son too so that way when both of our children grow up our son and daughter can marry each other and it's perfectly alright with me and my wife because we all love each other as a family!

Anyways who else has wife with kids and are happy with their family?
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>finally home
I don't listen to music much

Someone should screencap this story for some world war one and two story threads in the future run.

Very emotional feeling story.
>working at expensive liquor store
>job is to sell expensive shit to people who just came in for something simple
>woman who looks like she's in her 30s walks in
>amazing body
>great smile
>strike up a conversation
>she's hitting on me, I ain't even doing shit
>she gives me her number, she's having a party that night
>wasn't able to make it
>we meet up a few nights later over drinks
>turns out she's a personal trainer, which explains the amazing shape shes in
>hit up two bars, cab back to her place
>she fucks me senseless

Now I told me friends this story and got a "yeah, nice man" and the conversation moved right on past it. I'm positive they didn't believe me at all and probably called me a liar when I wasn't around. Can't blame them, I hardly believe it myself.
bad troll is bad and you should feel bad
I second this.
> be me tired of seeing this qt3.14 every time someone talks about hot chick.
> dont know what it means imma figure it out
> qt=quart 3.14 =biblical txt? Nope
> qt=quite 3.14=stone cold? Nope thats 3.16
> qt=q-t=cutie 3.14=pi ohshitnigga.jpg
Finally got it
I'm embarrassed for you
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Jesus Christ the germans had it hard.

I actually feel bad for those guys now more than ever.

I am very sorry for what the British soldiers did to your german family man.
She's nice, wouldn't put her through the ringer by posting her here.
I remember my first time too.
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This hit me in the heart very hard...
>be me
>into opiates and other drugs
>pretty bad
>qt gf tho
>turn 18 july 4th
>take qt gt to park
>start having sex in car
>starts raining
>super dark tints
>pumping in and out
>nigger breaks open my front driver window
>push gf back
>jump over center console
>start screaming
>OMDAS:JSD ill Kill you
>no idea
>grab knife
>jump out of car
>naked in rain
>waving knife around
>nigger jumps back into car
>drives away

>realize Im naked with a comdom on and im all bloody from jumping over shards of glass

>call 911

>ambulance comes and wont let me go since their system still said I was a minor
>turned 18 that day tho
>dad had to come


they later found drugs at home, and thought it was my gf who didnt even know I did drugs

was a bad day

Want moar? I can go on for days. True stories only
blot out her face or something, faggot
i could listen to some more
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here's mine, I post it from time to time

I kek'd
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>Age 7
>On bike
>Get hit in the side by car
>Just remember car then me laying on the ground
>Everything is fuzzy
>Some 16 year old cunt is screaming at me
>Look at car
>Bike pegs xXx360noscope420blazeitfigitfitmexXx her front bumper
>Dude who was in the car passanger side gives me a look of shame
>Cunt throws my bike 2 feet using all her strength
>Speeds off
>Go home and eat macaroni
And that was the day I started hating every woman ever

Don't know if it caused lasting issues. I mean I was wearing my helmet but ever since then I got about 15 degrees off center.
>Turn 19
>super into heroin at this time
>was my life
>lost qt gt
>cause drugs
>turning 19
>new druggie friends
>in shitty motel
>shooting up in bathroom
>come out
>see girl on bed
>friends say its a trick
>wat for?
>for you anon
>your bday
>How much did you pay
>dont remember
>well tell her to gtfo
>and give me drugs
>was cute though
>she started to cry
>be later
>friend is getting head
>from another whore
>bitch is old
>super rough lookin
>getting head
>tells her we'll pay her as soon as we rob this store
>rob store
>buy a lot of crack
>have her in car
>shes in passenger seat
>friend behind her
>gets out
>opens her door
>pulls her out
>jumps in
>I drive away

That was the day I turned down sex and helped my friend kick a old ass prostitute out of the car, she was low tier, like missing teeth.

He ended up with Hep C, surprised I didn't get it from sharing needles with him
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niggas gunna nig
snooop dog
>be me
>get clean
>Stay sober for a bit
>meet girl
>her father is $$$
>hundred + million
>maybe billion
>5 houses
>im clean
>fuck her for a bit
>last time I meet with her
>eh, ur kinda nice
>not my fav
>she cries
>I leave
>still sends me nude pics, 2.5 years later
>fucked up a chance to be super rich
>dating other girl now

I found out what her dad did and thats how I chose my career choice
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oh fuck. I choked on my spit. 10/10
already did, faggot
Post it then please before this thread 404
Come on man don't be a dick for once please i would really like to have the pic of the story so i can share it with my girlfriend and family and even my classmates in history class.
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