ITT: Fucked up shit you said as a young child > Seven years

>>612327936
>be me at 5
>say: black people are the same as white people. They just have a different skin color.

>>612328265
What the fuck was your problem?

>>612327936
you should apologize to her. Tell her everything you said was wrong. Her skin HIDES all her fat, so her outside is the best side.

>>612328684
She's a really tiny woman in actuality. She lost the weight. I wonder if it was something I said.

>>612328265
I hope a nigger stole your bike just to prove he wasn't a faggot like you were.

>>612327936
Maybe it was happy tears

X is like Y.. it's just that B and A gets mixed up!

>>612327936
>be 11
>tried to fuck cat
And this
>be 14
>always horny
>try to fuck my friend's dog
>get caught by neighbor
>yell "HEY, FUCK YOU MAN"
>run home
>cry

>>612327936
>6 years old
>putting on clothes to go to school
>mom forces me to put on sweater grandma made
>fuckthatshitnigger.mp3
>I protest
>"No anon you're going to wear that sweater and I don't want to hear any more about it!"
>mumble under my breath
>"I hope you die and go to hell"
>Father hears my mumbling but can't make out what I said
>tells me to repeat what I said
>I obviously say "no"
>tells me to go get his belt
>proceeds to whoop me until I spill the beans
>seewhatyoumademedo.jpg
>father is astonished at my evil
>Mfw I got to stay home and read the bible that day as punishment

>>612329687
I've got more let me know if want

>>612329928

do they involve your fathers penis later?

>>612327936
Bump

>>612330258
Nope they involve my cousins, my penis and oral sex also a dog

>>612329597

Future spree killer.

>7 years old
>friend tells me i should visit 4chan
>here i am

it was yesterday

>>612330474
Wait, it involves oral with a dog or did you just word it really badly?

>>612330771
Fingering a dog
Oral sex with cousin

I said "I'll masturbate you!" During a card game cause I thought it meant something like devastate or destroy

> 9 years old
> 3rd grade
> one of the few black kids in school was talking shit to me.
> called him a piece of burnt charcol
> everyone goes silent
> too young to realize I'm already racist

>>612330976
I need to read this now, continue your stories

A fat kid always bullied me in primary school.
I was tall but skinny.One day in fifth grade i was enjoying halloween with my friends and he came along to bully me.I was dressed like a cowboy with a m1911 metal replica that weighted like 2kg.He tried to hit me and i hit him hard in the wrist with the metal pistol replica.I shouted 'have my curse' (heard that in a movie) and he broke out crying.
On the inside i enjoyed it but then i broke down in tears too because i thought u arent supposed to curse people

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>>612330976
I want to read your story anon
also have a cute loli

>>612331312

>be me
>7 years old
>that age when your dick gets hard when the wind blows
>at grandmothers house
>be playing Mr. Freeze with cousins
>dick gets hard as elbows on concrete
>get bright idea
>whip out cock
>"this is what happens when I'm in love"
>proceed to chase cousins around with my penis
Not sure if anyone ever told on me
Cont.

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>>612331160
It kind of does
>tfw you were an alpha child
>tfw you're a beta adult

>>612331324
wat

>>612327936
I don't get it

Bump thread while I greentext stories

>>612332397
Don't die on me anon

>>612331248
Made me kek, underrated post.

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>white kid
>1st grade, learning about MLK and Civil Rights Movement.
>I say, aloud, "Boy, it's a good thing that we aren't black."
>(I had three black classmates)
>Teacher looks at me
>No, it's a good thing it happened a long time ago

>>612332767
>8 years old
>had cousin 6 years older than me that lived at my grandmothers house with her mom, my grandmothers niece
>we would sleep in the same beds together because there were a lot of us
>I loved when I got to sleep with her alone due to the ability to touch and play with her private parts
>one night I try to touch and suck on her small 14 yr old boobs as usual but she has her arms crossing her chest and refuses to give in to my desires
Cont.

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>>612332397
At least bump with something to look at

>>612331248
meet
>>612332924

>be in 3rd grade teacher asks what we wanna play
>stupid me yells out lets hang kira
>kira is girl who sat infront of me
>teacher bursts out in tears
>quits her job
>girl starts crying
>have subsitute for rest of year
.best school year ever

>>612332952
bump for interest

When I was 8 I told my classmates I wanted to take off this girl I liked clothes while she was sleeping

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>>612329687
>mfw
>no face when
>mfw

>>612332952
I wish I had a chance to do something like this
22 and I have never even slept in the same room as a girl

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>>612333327
wat

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>5 years old ish
>birthday party for my brother, family thing
>random guy there is huge, obese monstrosity with grey pants made up of enough material to pitch a tent with probably
>walk up to him and shout "YOU'RE REALLY FAT"
>even at that age I remember the crushed look on his face
>every stopped talking and stared
>run back downstairs to play with the otehr kids
>mom makes me go back upstairs and say sorry a few minutes later
>"SORRY YOU'RE FAT
>run away, mom gives up

>be loli
>about to go into public bathroom at the mall for the first time
>okay.jpg
>someone has scratched a glory hole between the stalls
>no idea what it is at this age
>peek though
>man is masturbating to porn on his phone
>finish shit
>don't flush toilet
>sneak out stall
>bang on his door, scream "WANKER!!" at the top of my lungs
>hear him freaking out, grunting and tyring to pull up his pants
>run back to parents
>they heard nothing
>leave mall before I see the man walk out the bathroom
>lol, dicks

>>612332952
When I was like 5 or 6 and stayed over at a cousins house. They were girls and were like 16 and 17. I slept in their beds while hugging them and virtually groping them. Shit was cash.

Be 3 or 4. Mum has tattoos. When I ask about them always says ew yuck they are gross you dont want them etc.

Be walking down the street. Large New Zealand black Maori gang member walks past, covered in tattoos. Stary yelling "eww yuck mum! Yuck! He's gross" from my pram.

Mum runs away with the force of a thousand gusty winds.

>>612332952
>lightbulb.png
>it's time to take this to the next level
>go under the covers and pull down her panties where there's a fresh patch of pubes
>I begin to rub my penis on pubes attempting to find vagina hole
>Lookseasierontv.mp3
>give up on that
>let's try this
>proceed to eat out my cousin for 10 minutes stopping to spit out the occasional hair that got in my mouth
>never stopped me
Eating breakfast next morning cousin keeps looking at me like I molested her or something

>Be me @ 13yo
>on short bus
>have safety helmet on
>licking window
>bus driver says stop licking dirty window
>I say can I lick u?
>getdirtylook.mp3

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>1st grade
>Be mega edgy little kid
>New years
>We're going around in a circle talking about shit we regret
>My turn
>"I wish I started smoking earlier"
>Sent home for the day

>>612334012
do you even know what loli means or does your retarded country has a bathroom for both genders?

>teacher nearly crying about 9/11 saying that thousands of people were dead
>"wat, 2 or 3 thousand is hardly anything"

>>612334273
Oh yeah and once I slept over at a friend's house when I was 6. I was pretty little and a bitch at the time and I said I wanted my mom. The family was a really good and we'd known them for a long time. The girl's mom was milf as fuck. I got to sleep in the moms bed with her while she was naked.
I think that's where my milf/ mature fetish began

>>612334471
>Eating breakfast next morning cousin keeps looking at me like I molested her or something
>keeps looking at me like I molested her or something
>like I molested her or something

>be me 7
>go to dollar store in US
>(grew up on border town living in Canada)
>grab some skittles
>see land manitee walking the aisle with 400 >cans of spaghetti sauce and noodles
>yell "youre so big you could fall through the >floor"
>mom backhands me
>drags me out
>still had skittles, winrar.exe

>>612334773
my response to shit like this is always "people die every day"

Be 3 or 4 again, at hair dresser with my mum. Old Goth lady walks in. Start screaming mum mum! Look at that fat ugly witch!

Again mum has to run.

>>612334471
Story of how I used my dying grandpas thermometer on my dogs rectum coming next

>>612335183
kek

>>612334471
>like I molested her or something
Made me kek

>>612327936
You're diagnosed with type 1 diabetes as a child, it's not something you develop as an adult. Type 2 is brought on by belly fat and reduced pancreas function.

> Be 10
> Have habit of showing my dick to neighborhood girls
> They're more or less cool with it lol kid stuff I guess
> Other boy joins us one day and pisses on my new shoes
> I don't remember seeing much of him after that

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Bump

>>612335367
Its incredibly rare but people can retain type 1 diabetes into adulthood and not know they had it as a kid

Lurkers?

Mums friend takes me up to the North Island to meet up with his friend because I had never been on a ferry before.

Finally meet up with friend. He only has one arm. Keep asking him questions about things he can and can't do.

He tells me he can do anything I can do. I said "I bet you can't do a cartwheel". Mums friend cries from laughter. One armed guy didn't know how to respond. Unsure if they are still friends.

>>612330574
under rated post

>>612329687
Didn't have wear that ducking sweater though, lol.

>>612335772
lurking

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>>612334012

>be me
>have skin ailment on my penis
>in the mall restrooms trying to put some ointment on my member to alleviate the pain while looking for sweaters for my church's missionary group to donate to unfortunate children
>notice someone has carved a peephole in the stall... great now anybody can peep through
>applying ointment vigorously
>feelsgoodman.jpg
>all of a sudden some kid starts banging on the door yelling "wanker!!!!" At the top of his lungs
>grunt try and make it not awkward somehow (idk I have a lot of nervous tics)
>Try and wait it out to avoid awkward tensions
>forget to buy sweaters for underprivileged villagers

Now I'm a pedophile

>>612334740
No I do not since it is banned in my country.
Is it a kind of bread?

>>612334012
>be loli
>man is masturbating to porn on his phone
>porn on his phone
>loli
underage detected

>>612335367
Tell that to her endocrinologist. I guess it's more accurate to say Type '1.5'. LADA. It was originally just gestational diabetes, but after the pregnancy it didn't go away and she was diagnosed with type 1.

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I would always tell this joke. "How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chickens back." Also killed my best friends dog and two hamsters .

5th grade on the day of 9/11 they showed the towers being hit and i yelled Cool. teacher didnt like it

like 6 or 7, my grandma had very young kittens outside her house all the kids would play with. dont remember if they were hers or if they just stayed around there. but when i was playing with them one day i pushed their heads against the concrete, not hard enough to hurt them or anything. guess i just wanted to see how hard i could push until they made a look of pain or something. but then i felt really bad so i got in front of them so they could see and pressed my head against the ground and scraped it back and forth

>>612336062
6/10

> be 10yo
> parents drag me to dinner party at their new friends house
> they have two daughters, one my age, one a little younger
> parents say go play
> see enormous tree across the street with branches perfect for climbing
> let's go climb that shit
> both of the girls too scared to climb
> I get all the way near the top
>they still on ground looking up on me
> I gotta pee bad all the sudden
> whip out my lil peen and begin to piss down upon them both
> I sing "it's raining it's pouring! The old man is snoring!"
> they both cry and run to house to tell on me
> I claim I didn't mean to hit them, it was the wind
> I never saw those people ever again

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>be me
>be autistic child
>shout and point at every disabled person I ever saw
>"HEY MOM! LOOK AT THAT PERSON HAVING NO LEG/ARM/LOOKS FUNNY!"
>did it for her priceless reaction of trying to shut me up while not attracting more attention
>mfw she legitimately thought I was retarded from things I did to annoy her

>>612336257
I see, that makes sense. Didn't think about insulin resistance from being pregnant.

>>612336245
murk lore

Be 7 or 8, small friendly rural school in mountains. 2 classrooms so age groups are mixed. One kid bullied my friend who was like 5, I looked out for him he was a bit autistic.

Punched him in the face and called him a cun't. I had moved there from the city, most of the younger kids hadn't heard it. OIder kids cracked up, told him, he went and narked on me for.

Teacher asked why I called him a "cat". I said ""why would I say that I called him a cunt he deserved it". Teacher broke down, screamed at me, mum got called in. Lots of trouble. Teacher bullied me till I left after that.

>me
>5
>in NYC with my dad
>Christmas time
>superexcited.wav
>trolling around in snow and having a ball
>see santa ringing a bell to donate money too
>Dad hands me $5 to go put it
>walk there
>horror.gif
>walk back
>"Dad, santa isn't black. who is that?"
>dad face palms

>>612336585
I really hope you have a child to inflict that same torture upon you, that you did to your mother

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>>612327936

>be 6
>chillin at grandparents with sister
>grandma makes sandwiches
>sandwiches are really good
>"wow grammie, you make really good sandwiches, i guess that's why you're so..."
>proceed to puff out cheeks and stick my arms out to simulate fatness

>>612329315
This.

>>612336939
I dont know why I put an apostrophe in cunt damnit.

>>612337012
Thanks bro. I probably deserve it

>Primary school
>Babysitting younger kids on rainy day (lazyass teachers)
>Want to play follow the leader because bored as shit
>game goes well. Eventually i have entire class following me under n over desks, clucking like chickens. Lols are had.
>kind of reminds me of an obstacle course on war movies
>Get terrible idea
>Line kids up in front of me and csll them my chicken soldiers
>Kids do it because they fucking love me
>Start screaming like a drill sergeant, telling them "DROP AND GIVE ME 20 MAGGOTS!!""
I didnt know what it meant lol - i just thought it was cool army lingo. Kids all doing pushups anyway kek
>Still screaming at them when teacher walks in the door
>she drops her.bags.and.just stands there in shock at this mini hitler and her army of chicken soldiers.
>Banned from babysitting ever again

I told my dad and he pissed himself laughing.

>>612335240
Is you kill?

>>612327936
sis can i see your weiner?
meawhile i asked why some chopped a weiner and placed it on the oven.
> it was an sausage.

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>>612331760
>>tfw you were an alpha child
>>tfw you're a beta adult

>>612337604
>an sausage
>an hero

>>612331248
Kek

> 7 years old or so
> Hanging with my best friend (white) and my nerdy black neighbor with thick glasses
> We were playing cops and robbers or something and the darkie was upset about somethin
> Gets in argument with my friend and me
> Faggot starts to run home crying
> Yugioh had just gotten popular
> As he runs away my friend calls him "Four eyes black dragon"
> Black neighbor never hangs out with us again

>>612329597
were they at least bitches?

>be four
>ma and grandmother are in room
>watching little bill
>get pissed
>mom asks what's wrong
"I hate wittle bill"
"Why do you hate little bill?"
"Because he bwack"

My grandma was pissed.

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>>612331324
>I shouted 'have my curse'
I lost.

>>612337674
One time tried to kill miself by hanging my tinny toe. using my shoe's cord.
> i an retarded

>>612329687
your parents sound like catholic pieces of shit

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> 11 years old
> three bedroom house and sister want their own rooms
> livin' in the basement, play vidya whenever
> also jerkoff whenever I want
> downstairs has dog door, so always sleeping with dogs
> try fucking them, doesn't work
> just hump them and rub my dick on the hairless part of their stomachs
> do this every night
> ffw a year or two, still doing this nightly.
> stay home sick one day, decide to rub one off
> start humping one of my dogs like there's no tomorrow
> can't hear door opening over sound of music playing in background
> mom walks downstairs, sees me
> look up, see her
"oh my god"
> she goes back upstairs
mfw when I think back on it.
mfw she never spoke about it and it never came up ever again.

>>612337994
>an retarded hero

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>hanging out with friends
>friend shows me a new Die Antwoord album
>I ve heard some of it before and say its quite good but he goes on
>plays some short track which isnt even a normal song and says "they have few of these on this cd"
>I say "that doesnt impress me at all because Tool have plenty of this shit" (deep down I was angry that another band copied their idea)
>complete silence.jpg

>>612327936
>8 or 9
>be shopping with mom's friend and her daughter
>had crush on the daughter so i was making her laugh and shit
>she was in a music group that had some male cross-dressers in it
>be in jewelry store
>thought it would be funny to try on jewelry and act like the guys in her show
>yell out, louder than I intend
>"I wanna be a drag queen!"
>everyone in the store stops and looks at me
>daughter and her mom bust out laughing
>face gets red from all the people looking, walk out casually

Still hung out with the daughter, but never got it in after that, obviously

>>612337994
English isn't your first language is it?

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>>612333327
That doesn't even... You didn't.... What?

>>612333327
i dont get it

>>612338155
i used to hang out with an convicted pedo, mfw he never touched me.

>>612338124
your mom's a bro
mine would say nothing about it, then bring it up loudly in public or with family a few months later

>>612337520
>be me around 9
>at grandmas house
>grandpa has cancer from second hand smoke
>didn't really understand but got the concept
>have my favorite dog,small but not miniature poodle golden hair
>always found her parts interesting
>would rub and squeeze her nipples and occasionally lick them
>I would also play with her dog pussy
>never anal though
>remember watching dr dolittle seeing doctor stick thermometer up dog anus
>immediately run to bathroom and get glass thermometer
>Doctor mode engaged
>try to soothe dog while attempting to stick thermometer in anus
>after about 5 minutes it was a success
>my brother sees me
>"oooo I'm telling"
>wellfuckme.exe
>Grandma storms to the couch where I'm holding dog thermometer and anus.
>Snatches thermometer from me spanks my hand and legs tells me that was my grandpas thermometer.
>Tell her I was going to wash it off when I got done

>>612338124
You really need to end your own life

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In middle school I used to smear shit on things in the bathroom, mainly the soap and paper towel dispensers.

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>>612334471

>>612331675
ehh fuck it go

>>612338607
at least I was never this fucked up
no wait.. pretty much molested my cousin when she was 7 or 8 or 9 or some shit,I would have been 10 or 11

>>612338496
Ahhhahahhahhhhhhhahaah I fucking love this kind of mum

>>612338452
> what are repressed memories

>>612338124
You must know that she probably thinks about it often right? Laying awake at night while she pictures you like that... That is what you are to her now. A dog fucker. The way society works is she will never bring it up yet never forget it either, and most likely mentioned the event to at least one other person in concern for what she does not understand. That means there might be more people that knows it, and out of pity will never confront you about it, all while still thinking less of you for it. Let that sink in for a while

>>612339270
you had to say that, right?

>>612339327
>let that sink in for a while

He said he was 11 when it happened, I'm sure anything you say he's thought about

>>612339327
she is probably masturbating to the trought, and crying afterwards

>>612339622
maybe not, hes a dog fucker afterall.

>>612339666
Damnit satan

>>612327936
>4 years old
>playing "The Simpsons: Clue" board game
>Time to pick characters
>I choose Bart
>remember a quote from the tv show
>say to my dad's face
>"Hi, I'm Bart. Who the hell are you?"
>oh shit

>>612338296
That's how I got it in when I was in high school. Going to the Rocky Horror Picture Show dressed as Dr. Frank-N-Furter.

YRMV bro

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> be me in 3rd grade
> first day at school
> have a good day
> till at the end
> we had to tell eachother jokes in front of the whole class
> everybody goes
> my turn i say why do white people call white people call black people niggers
> and niggers call white people honkeys
> whole class stares at me ohshitniggerwhatthefuckdidisay.jpg
> mfw teacher pulled my ear
> mfw i said the joke
> mfw almost nobody talked to me

>>612339740
my thoughts exactly

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Still lurking

>Be 6.
>Be at a Lutheran school.
>See kindergarten teacher.
>In first grade.
>Decide to pretend to take a piss in front of he by putting my hands on my pants and say "pssssssss"
>Get suspended.
>Miss concert I wanted to sing in.
>Kid I did it with didn't get suspended.
>Mom tells me later she convinced the principle to suspend me.

>>612339327
Duh? How would I not realize that? If I still remember it, of course she would.

>>612339666
Well now I never thought she was one of yours satan. Then she must have been quite proud if him actually

hm. okay lemmie try this ouy
>be me
>be 15
>stupid as fuck at this age
>>my little brother gets a new hamster
>names it Evil. (Prononced it "EEEEEEEEVVVIIILLLLL" like mermaid man)
>I like it and play with him daily
>one late stormy night
>take him out like I always do
>I sit on him cause his squiming tickles
>10 mins later noticed he stopped moving
>check on it and see hes dead
>shitbricks.gif
>I take him back in his cage
>puts him on the wheel
>spins it and runs
>just like Drake and Josh did
>Tell him he died from shock from the lighting
>believes it to this day.

Still got away with it so winrar

>>612327936
>be 8
>3rd grade
>have older Irish woman for teacher
>had recently watched Indiana Jones with mom
>thought it was a good idea to draw "that sign the bad guys have" in the movie
>draw a swastika in my notebook
>teacher sees
>she starts going off in an angry Irish brogue about how I was copying the symbol of people who killed a bunch of jews
>brushed it off, didn't give a fuck

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>Be about 2 or 3
>Going somewhere with my mum
>Take a toy gun with me to play with while waiting at the bus stop
>Bus arrives
>Young girl gets off the bus
>Point gun at her
>"FREEZE OR I'LL BLOW YA BAGINA OFF!"
>Girl is shocked
>Mum holds back laughter and chides me
>MFW I don't even remember this happening but have heard about it off my parents loads of times

>>612340014
What a kunt

>>612339935
Not sure what YRMV means but good for you for turning that into an advantage. I think I was just too young in my story, I was naive for quite a while about women

>>612338690
I remember once when i was in P7 (7th grade) me and my m8 went into the toilets to (funnily enough) do the toilet, we walked in the back door and as we were walking to the urinals we saw to our rights what must have been a P3 (3rd grade) fucking storming out going fast as shit, we look in the open toilet and there is literally shit, ABSOLUTELY, FUCKING EVERYWHERE, we just stood there in shock, other people walked in, were wondering what we were staring at, everyone who looked was just as shocked, i just said what the fucking shit and walked out, dont know what happened to him 20 years later

>>612340118
Why haven't you killed yourself then? Oh wait a dog fuckers can't feel shame

not really fucked up what I said, but would pull chairs on people before they would sit down and they would fall on their ass, then would proceed to walk out and call the teacher a bitch in a whisper.

>>612338607
>>612334471
>>612332952
>>612331675
>>612329687
Thinking back this is probably why I rape/molest drunk girls

>>612340652
he probably lurks /b/ with a history like that

Come out P3 anon, we know you're here

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>>612331248
Wouldn't burnt charcoal be white?

>>612329597
same.

>>612340853
Because if I killed myself, I wouldn't be able to fuck any more dogs, faglord.

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Please start "autistic shit you did as a child" thread after this, those are the best

>>612339937
whoops why do white people call blacks niggers and niggers call white people honkeys

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>>612341019

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>>612341019

>be me, 4 years old
>go to cousins house
>play tag outside and general running around
>try to make other cousins laugh, pretend to be a dog
>mfw I literally dropped pants and took a shit in neighbors lawn
>cousins laugh
>someone runs in and tells aunt, pulls me inside
>mfw my aunt picked up my shit from lawn
Haven't told this one in years

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>>612337771

>>612330574
Kek

>>612340305
>sit on him cause his squiming tickles
You're like one of those tards that squish small animals with their bare hands they have so much love to give

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>>612341519
>mfw no face

>>612339327
Nice reply lol.

Fucked a chick with one leg and came in her 3 times

>>612338690
yeah, i used to do that with my period blood.

>>612341519

I'm pretty sure that 4yo is still inside of you. get drunk and let him out.

idk i must have been seven but i told my friend that maybe it would be easier to have sex with a girl if they were asleep or dead...

>>612342035
Way to ruin a thread
Tits or gtfo

>Be in third grade.
>Like to make noises by myself and act out elaborate fantasies.
>Get made fun of constantly because it.
>Never understood why.
Thinking back, it's highly likely that I have undiagnosed autism.

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>>612341197
rite on the edge

>>612342035
>>612342240
dont take the bait

>Was like 7 or 8
>Homeschooled
>Went to a christian "co-op"
>Black girl my age
>she was sitting down
>No seats left
>Say "I don't want to sit next to a black girl!"
>truth is I just didn't like her
>Got 10 lashings with the whip and 10 ruler hits

>>612341519
kek
it's 4am and I can't stop reading this thread

>>612339861
Are you the guy who sang "potato chip" song with his dad on youtube? It sounds like u

>>612333628
>>612333333

>>612327936

>be 6
>at my aunt's
>see a picture of a goofy looking lady on the bookcase
>ask out loud "Who's that ugly lady?!"
>my aunt says that's her mum.

I also called my dad ugly when I was a toddler.

>>612342498
ayy 5:06 am where I'm at. Same here

>>612339937
What's the punchline?

>>612341519
lmao

>>612331324
>have my curse!
>kek

>>612342985
i dont know i was 8 years old

>>612337771
Underrated post

>>612342849
P.S.
their mum was dead

>>612342919
Hello fellow eurofag, german by any chance?

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>>612343569
Not the anon but german here. What keeps you awake Genosse?

> be 5
> have older brother
> older bro tells me it's cool to say "the south shall rise!"
> live in Northern California
> bro tells me he'll give me 35 pennies if I said it in class
> go to school next day
> steal kid's cupcakes
> sugarrush.tiff
> jump up on table during reading time
> scream "Da sowf shall rise!!!"
> sent home
> bro hears about it and pays me 40 cents
> worth it

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>be 6
>live in majority white state
>see very first black man
>exclaim "Mom, it's a brown man!"
>ask why he's brown
>my mother slaps me
>black guy starts laughing and walks past us
>turn and say he looks like my poop
>my mother slapped me again

>>612344122
>40 cents
thats easy money

>>612343569
Nope, South African actually

>>612336939
Kek

>>612344122
At least your bro paid you. I did things like that to my brothers a couple of times and all they got was a smack off my parents.

>>612330574
reported
have fun in the pokey

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>>612344302
>turn and say he looks like my poop

>7 years old
>No family car
>Mom needs to go shopping
>calls taxi
>Mom had thrown away a big freezer burned steak earlier
>Pluck it out of trash in with plastic bag
>put steak inside coat
>taxi arrives
>sit behind driver and casually slide steak under his seat
>no one notices
>been wondering what happened to that steak for 19 years

>>612331248
Don't feel bad, in my non-white neighborhood kids were already playing "kill the white kid [sic]" at recess. Racism is only taboo for whites.

In 2nd grade I would always just pee everywhere on top of the toilet and on the sink, mirror and all over the floors in public restrooms

>>612344090
ive always had a fucked up sleep pattern, nothing's changed

>>612336939
>called him a cun't
>cun't
kek

>>612331248
>>612344879
I just used "sic" wrong
I meant the word they used was "haole" which means white person, I changed it because no one would understand what that means.

>>612344818
probably rotted and he did not notice and wondered

>>612337246
>>612345356

>9 years old
>in primary school
>playing with tennis ball during lunch break
>somehow end up losing the ball
>go up to this random 12 year old kid
>"Why did you throw my ball over the fence?"
>"Uhh what ball?"
>I hit him on the head with my tennis racket as hard as I can
>he chases me across the playground and kicks ma flippin head in

I was such a fucking retard

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>>612344302
turn and say he looks like my poop

>>612345010
I have a similar story from second grade

>semi-rich town
>elementary school was huge, every classroom had a bathroom in it
>our wing had lost power
>no one was allowed to use the toilet in our class
>sneak into bathroom during a presentation
>piss in the dark thinking I'm pro as fuck, hitting nothing but toilet bowl (was aiming for bowl, not water, to be sneaky)
>come out and the whole class is looking at me
>teacher says she's writing me up
>goes in the bathroom and realizes I pissed all over the room
>sends me home

>le 9 year old me
>erection
>pull foreskin back
>go show mother
>"hey I think I don't have that phimosis thing father told me to worry about"
>le extreme mom pokerface

>>612344620
> your parents smacked you off

So OP, hows it feel to have a thread with less than 200 replies

>>612345846
Still thought it was legitimately funny though. It fit nice in the story

be me When i was about 4. I had a crush on a girl at my dah care center. So one day i spent the nught at her house and her mom was asleep intantly. So said girl was like lets play doctor. So she pulls down her pants and takes my hand to rub her pussy. She gets a fake baby doll and puts it in her shirt. Then she is like its your turn. Im like hell no. I call my parents and lwft we havent talked since.

>>612345978
>foreskin
;(

>Be in like third grade or something.
>Be at an Orchestra.
>Be doing strange motions.
>Older brother is a dick/
>Says I look like I have autism.
>I probably do, but my neurologist never officially diagnose me with it.
>But he convinced my mom to put me through an experimental study for turrets syndrome.
>My mom pocketed 5000 dollars while I almost failed chemistry due to the drowsiness of the medicine

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>>612346082

>>612346113
Sure?

>>612345895
why
wtf were you even thinking

>>612345978
But what happened next?

>>612337771
holy fuck.

lost my shit to this

>>612346482
That was meant in a positive way, how does it feel to have a thread that reached over 200 replies?

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>>612346442
>turrets syndrome
>yfw

>>612345895
>>612345678

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>>612346442
>turrets syndrome
niggah keeps spewing turrets

>>612346876
I am not even OP

>>612346686
>I simply went away smiling

>>612347050
Nigger i trusted you, also it had less than 200 hundred at the time

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>>612346442
>turrets

No green text sorry on phone
First grade, girl in kindergarten two doors down
We hung out a lot
Played with toys, she had a computer, it was pretty cool
One day go in her back yard with her
She tells me she wants to try something she saw on her dad's computer
Pulls down pants
Tells me to lick her
I do, she giggles
Stop cuz it tastes funny
Never speak of it again

She was a fucked up girl. Her family moved that summer, never saw her again.

> be me
>around 4-5? Somewhere around there
> see a this news about Bin laden
>me thinking: " oh, if he's everywhere he must be a good guy"
>go to a mall area with my family
> see a guy with a turban sitting down
>"HEY MOM, DAD LOOK ITS OSAMA BIN LADEN"
>parents pull me away

>4 years old
>go to hippie preschool
>bathroom was a small room with 2 toilets right next to each other with no divider
>go in to pee one day
>kid is taking a shit
>what do
>he stands up, bends over and exposes his shitty asshole, turns his head around and asks, "Will you wipe my butt"?
>nope the fuck out
>see him in highschool, avoid him
>still see him around the city 8 years after highschool
>99% sure he doesn't remember
>I wish I could forget

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>>612346442
Get down he has turrets

>>612329928
you better post that shit nigger

>>612346969
knock knock

>>612347437
>4-5 years old
>news about Bin Laden

underage b&

>>612347302
Yes I misunderstood your intention on your first post, I am sorry

>>612340313
>Bagina

>older cousins playing on floating dock
>get mad that I'm not allowed to hang out with them
>aunt says "they're old"
>"no, you're old, they're oldER"
>my dad is dying trying not to laugh

>>612340922
S-Sorry

>>612336526
>it's raining it's pouring! the old man is snoring
>SUPREME KEK

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>>612346442
>experimental study for turrets sydrome
>study for turrets syndrome
>turrets syndrome
>turrets

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>>612346442
TAKE DOWN THOSE TOURETTES SOLDIER

>be me, about 5
>had a mole on my stomach, was rather large
>go to the doctor and when I get home ask my mom what the doctor said
>'well, anon, the doctor says if it gets bigger...'
I cut her off and say
>'I turn into a nigger? '

>>612347384
>how do I greentext
unless you're phone literally can't type >

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>>612347504

>>612347896
kek
I would have said this

>>612348111
lost my shit
10/10

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>>612346442
>turrets syndrome
wew lad

>>612348283
He remembers. Probably feels the exact same way every time he sees you.

>>612348111
Top kek

>>612348111
kek
>check'd

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>>612347504

>>612347710
Why would that make them underage? 5 in 2001 would make them 19 right now.

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>9 years old
>Parents hosting boxing ppv party
>Black boxer and other non black one fighting
>Neighbors who are over are black
>Before match begins I say "I bet I know who the niggers want to win" not thinking I said anything wrong
>Get a stern talking to by my stepmom on what I did wrong
>MFW

HOLY SHIT I JUST REMEMBERED THIS
>watching veggie tales
>lyrics to song goes "god is bigger than the boogie man
>for whatever reason keep replacing the first letter of every word with a single letter
>eventually sing "Nod Nis Nigger Nan Na Noogie Nan
>Mom flips shit

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bump

>7
>take baby sister's shitty diapers from trash
>throw them in busy street near my house
>watch cars explode baby shit all over
>profit

>>612349425
kek

How does one reclaim one's childhood alpha-ness?

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>>612349899
Kek/10

>>612334379
you're lucky she got away

>>612335043
You're parents were shit. We should encourage that behavior, then maybe the obese fucks would lose some weight.

>>612327936
>6 Years old
>Brother's 15 year old friend is over
>Says his sister is in country
>He says: "She isn't returning my letters."
>My dumbass says: "Maybe she's dead."

>>612351240
you are parents were shit

>>612335367
Dumbass, you can develop type one later in life. It's just not as common.

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>>612327936
>this 400lb girl liked me since the 7th grade, never knew about it seeing as I barely knew her
>years later after I change schools a couple times I try to go out with one of her friends
>she tells me she'll cut herself if I go out with her
>"Go ahead, the only thing that will come out is thick rich pudding."

(next)

>Uncle notices I'm getting bad grades in school
>I'm 13 at the time and he married my aunt a year previous
>"keep getting bad grades and I'm going to have to bust you up."
>Look him straight in the eyes
>"You lay a finger on me and I'll slit your throat while you sleep."
>HFW

>10 or 11
>playing solo ding dong ditch
>creep up a porch
>finger hovering above doorbell
>shirtless black man bursts through door
>jump down steps and run
>hear him yelling, "Hey little man, there's no need to rrrruuuunnnnnn"
>don't look back, enter sanic mode

>>612351618
Did you even bother to read the thread? This was already sorted out.

> in 7th grade
> playing football
> only black kid starts bitching about us whitey fish bellies not passing to him
> little did he know, it was because he was a coon
> he tackles me (we were playing two-hand touch)
> i get up and call him a bitch
> he calls me a fag
> snarl at him "at least i'm not a fuckin... Nigger"
> he loses it
> gets suspended for trying to hit me/ other niggerdly activities

Lol