>>612268625 But I can't talk. I don't 'want' to talk. I just want to fade away.
>>612268668 >>>/fit/ We're here because we've tried the simple "walk to people" method, and it doesn't work for everyone like the movies make you think. Sorry if we're not as 'great' or 'confident' as you are, but if you really were, you wouldn't be here right now.
>>612269119 Know what's even more 'pathetic?' Coming to a thread specifically designed for people to express their feelings of shame, guilt, regret, sorrow, and so on, only to kick them while they're already down. Does doing this make you feel better or something?
>Before I go to bed >I'll go to the gym! >I'll become confident by going out more! >I'll meet and talk to more girls! >Only I can change my life! >From tomorrow morning, it's a new me! >wake up in morning >jerk to fb photos >cry myself back to sleep
You're reading this right now, do me a favour, reply to this post, I want you to give me 3 things you hate about yourself, and 3 things you love about yourself.
If you find it hard to name 3 things you love about yourself, the problem isn't having a girlfriend, or having no friends, the problem is you, you need to find what the problem is and change it, or at least try, or adapt.
>>612270518 Love >Am generally smarter/more knowledgeable than the average American (particularly in my age group) >don't drink, smoke, do drugs, or make bad decisions >actually care about the environment What do I win?
I'm somewhat in the same situation. Except I've learned that having a gf also doesn't make your life perfect. Sooo.. on the one hand I'm even more hopeless, on the other, I'm not a needy 'plz give me gf' faggot
>>612272831 >travel shit That's part of what's tearing me up. I lived abroad for years, but then I made the foolish mistake of coming back to this country (U.S.), because I was listening to my parents and others appointed over me (academic adviser, recruiter, etc). I should have NEVER come back, and now, I feel like I'm in an unending prison with no bars.
I dream of the day I can leave again. I realize that I no longer belong here.
I believe that life is intrinsically frustrating. Ultimately, your desires will never be fulfilled. Even if you do fulfill some of them, new ones will come up and this will go on for ever and ever. Until you realise that the desire itself is the problem.
This is basically Buddhism thinking, I have come to believe that they are right. Even those people that look so happy? They probably aren't, or maybe you caught them at a happy time and they WILL go back to feeling shitty after some time. But always behind closed doors, of course, because you always have to LOOK happy. It becomes more important to be happy in the eyes of others, than actually being it. And others buy into this because they are unhappy theirselves.
Really happy people are, in fact, very scarce, and they are the ones that transcended desire. Lasting happiness cannot be found. Coming to terms with this is wisdom, and the only way to find peace.
>>612274744 who says im trying to motivate dipshit? i am stating facts, i am telling you there self-loathing threads just make you fuckers more sad and make you feel good about being sad, lol just go out and walk or something, listen to music
>>612274834 I keep telling myself that. I was supposed to go to a meeting today, and even though I did, I left early since no one was talking to me/even took notice of me being there. Had to ride my bike from a train station for about 3 miles there. Left feeling pretty bad.
>>612268047 >>612268047 well gfs don't always lead to happiness. The feeling of being alone is a test that some people pass and overcome in a lifetime, while others remain being addicted to failing relationships until the day they die.
>>612275287 Not true, Anon. Not true at all. I lived in South Korea for three years, in a small town north-west of Seoul. I can tell you: it's a whole 'nother world over there, culturally and otherwise. The way people live, the way they talk, the way they treat each other, their values, etc. The country is absolutely beautiful, and there's hardly ever a dull moment.
Pic is OC. I didn't live in Seoul, but I went there practically every weekend by train. This was in Itaewon.
>>612275241 Well the plus side of that, is you actually went to an interview and tried, it's not like you stayed in bed instead and cried about your life or something, success doesn't just come after 1 try, comes after a few, it just depends if you give up or not.
What is so noble about living in this institution? Would it be better to kill you fucks who feed the system and warehouse your brothers like chattle. That rob the earth for its liberties for the sake of comforts? For some rich fucks and their private armies, or the populist and his followers. To live in a world where blood is not permitted to seek blood? Is the preservation of every life whether willing or not truly our highest calling? Com on with that. The survival of this girl is not your interest. She saw nothing noble in living for the sake of being just another living being. Stop trying to save everyone from everything, you aren't really helping humanity that way. So suicide flies a flag in the face of your faggotry, fuck off.
>>612275821 It wasn't really an interview per se...it was really just foreign language (Japanese) conversation practice. If/when the boss asks if I went, I'll tell him I did but something came up...which is true, in a sense that my doubts, fears, and everything else started to well up at once.
I just feel like I'm at the end of my rope. If I can't achieve what I set out to do within 5 years after graduation, I'm killing myself. I'm going to do it fast enough, to where I won't have time to second-think it.
>>612275756 There is no another world. People there are still people, with roughly the same wiring in the brain. Finding them different and fascinating is similar to admiring every stone on the road for its uniqueness.
>>612276375 You see, thinking like that won't get you nowhere.
You're talking about killing yourself, okay so before you decide to kill yourself, just go and travel, just leave your house and go somewhere, doesn't matter if you get lost or die because you wanted to die anyway, right?
So really you have nothing to lose, except your life, but if you wanted to an hero anyway, then you win either way?
But don't think like that, just keep going, might as well.
Hey, I once read a quite long story about an anon who fell in love, as a teenager, with and had a relationship with a girl in some other country. He met her because of work related traveling, as his father's company had a branch in her country. In the end, he lost all contact with her and because of that an herod. Anyone know what I'm talking about?
>>612276850 Mate i'm having the time of my life right now, i have a job, good mates, i don't care i don't have a gf, i'm here just because it's something to do, something to talk about, it's nice to talk with strangers, even when they cuss at u and shit.
>We''re just as afraid as you are of being pushed away
idk what you're talking about but ok, good luck with your life, i hope you have a good life anon
>>612277132 I've considered this as well. A lot of people end up coming back to the U.S. for whatever reason, whereas this time, I will not. I cannot. I will do whatever it takes to stay out of the country for as long as it's possible, even if it means purposely getting myself killed in China or elsewhere. I absolutely cannot come back here.
>>612276941 You don't need a reason to live. The desire to live is imprinted in everybody. So your consciousness will come up with a new reason. Regardless of how stupid and empty your existence might be.
>>612277697 If you go to china and get killed, don't forget to tell me all about it, sounds interesting at least.
Go to australia fight a crocodile or something, or go to russia and dance with some fucked up drunk guy, or just walk to canada, because why the fuck not, go into a bar on the way, speak to some people, get to know their life story, understand everyone is a little fucked up..
I was at a mates house 3 days ago, pre drinking before a night out, i went over to a lad to talk to him, because he seemed cool, he was drunk and spilled his life story to me, hes had some messy times, at one point was involved with guns and drugs, left school because he was bullied so bad.
>>612278304 What the fuck are you going on about? Going on about dominance and getting pushed away and shit haha what the fuck m8, at least when this thread 404's you'll technically be dead to me. pls don't reply?
>>612278479 jump off the great wall with a us flat taped to your nuts, can't really get better than that brother, just keep going forward and keep thinking about travelling, also listen to music that you love, it doesn't judge you or anything
>>612279106 >with a us flag taped to your nuts Heh, I could do that. It's better than my other suicide idea should I have to remain stateside, which is >go to the roof of a tall building >tape grenade to mouth >pull pin >quickly situate body so I fall backwards off the roof >shoot self in the head and fall back >head explodes as I fall, sending brain matter and such everywhere >everyone nearby is traumatized >become a street-pizza with what's left I've always thought about doing it that way.
>>612277669 I was agreeing with the statement, and saying that the anons here to say about how life is so depressing or feel like nobody notices, we do notice but are afraid about how much help we can give.
>>612279106 I stopped listening to music after I found that I only enjoy listening to one song. I could listen to it for twenty times a day. Then another day it would be another song. Sure it was symptoms of something.
>stand at train station, or bus stop >somewhere quiet but populated >before going into train station >pull pin on grenade, leave in pocket >sprint into train station as quick as possible >scream; "THEY'RE COMING, THEY'RE GUNNA KILL US ALL, ALL OF US, THEY'LL KILL EVERY LAST FUCKING ONE OF US >BOOM >brain matter everywhere >traumatize everyone >toppest of keks
>>612280395 What should I do then when they do that then? When they get a call and I hear some guys voice go "duuuude you gotta get over here" and then my friend go "yeah dude I'll be over in a couple minutes" my heart fucking drops.
>>612274006 I really hope you're joking. I was in the same spot as u guys. My family consisted of dickheads and evry1 hated me. I hated myself for not being the cool guy that everyone likes. But you know what i did? I got friends by not giving a fuck. I got to live my life because i didn't give a fuck what any1 said. And i know anon, sometimes you just wanna crawl down a hole and cry urself to sleep and thats a normal feeling! But the only way to ever be succesfull is to turn all that emotion into strength. b4 u ask, no its not something i can explain.
>>612268047 i feal empty all my life it dosent mater if i am with friends or at any cheerful situation i just smile to flow the norm i am just hollow . its like a big black heavy cloud is over me since i was a child my father is half crazy you just dont know when he will explode and for irrational reasons towards me and the rest of the family he thinks he can control as all . things have gone to the point that my father had at gunpoint my grandfather. growing up like this i became realy shy and i have been closed to my self all the time , i had never had a gf , and i always feel alone , i have suicidal thoughts all the time . i dont know how to deal with this i met a girl that i like but things at home fuck with my head i am to shy and to scared to talk to her about my feelings , i am afraid that one day i will be like my father or worse i have violent tendencies but most of the time i keep things all inside but there are times i really think i am capable of killing anyone in my way i just lose it i cant describe the feeling its like i am a different person. i dont think i will ever be happy i know i never was in the past even at the brightest moments it was like i had a hole in my chest. sory if i bother you dudes but i realy had to write things down tonight , i dont realy have anyone else to talk to
Don't you think you're over reacting? Like there are people out there that have it much much worse in life and yet you feellike you have pain because you have "no gf".
Dude. This problem is totally fixable, just stop research what it takes to be a confident individual, make yourself physically fit, and if you are out of high school, sign up for classes and make yourself a better person would a decent income.
And besides. Your own self worth is determined by you. Don't let another man stop you because they simply said you were worth less than what you actually were. Forget that, and focus on you.
And lastly, toughen up. There are people out there who literally are born with nothing and have no opportunity due to unfair circumstances that have more reason than you to feel sad, and yet they make names for themselves. Not having a girlfriend is the lamest, weakest excuse for feeling down.
>>612281400 i was really lucky to have those connections that i had but still. I took the initiative to be what i want to be. If anyone bullies you, laugh him/her in their face and show them that you know better than them. Take that beating cuz at the end of the day, you are still you. Them, the bullies, the stepovers they are acting. You are you. You are beautiful, anon and dont let anyone say otherwise, because if you do, you let them win.
>>612268656 I think this version is much better than the original. Girls come and go and they bring their own load of problems with them. But /b/ mang, /b/ is the kind of place that will happily call me a faggot one minute and then be a shoulder to cry on the next.
/b/ is like that mate that calls you a cunt all the time. You know he'll always be there for you.
>>612281619 I was in a similar situation as you are now. That emptiness inside was the strangest thing of all that. I could smile, laugh, talk to other people, but it was just on the surface. Inside there was an empty space filled by nothing but pain. Now i do not feel this emptiness. I have become it. Now i do not feel any pain at all. So, you can just wait. It took me five years.
I think after years of thinking about it I'm going to kill myself pretty soon.
I've always been an odd ball. Bottom of the pile.
But I actually went for something I cared about. Travelled all the way across the world for it. And now I'm here and realised it was all just a money money exercise. Never trust an institution. I would like some kind words but I've felt like this for years I think dying is a good option. better off for everyone.
>>612285778 I like having sympathy towards others and crying to their stories, but to actually experience them is a no-no, it would probably result in me becoming completely shut off from everyone, because I'm not a suicide kinda guy.
>>612287893 I'm speaking because i personally helped a guy overcome these problems through doing activities he recommended, he met some people that became his friends and he was reborn, this could happen to anyone on this thread at anytime a little push is sometimes needed, I'm not saying there aren't complete and utter retards here, but there are good people too
tfw i just had my perfect girl and im almost sure i scared her off because of my insecure bullshit. this has been happening so much this past year since i moved, and began smoking weed. ive forgotten nearly all my social skills and i seem to rather be alone, despite how lonely i am. i work a factory job all week and come home and drink and smoke weed alone all weekend long. ride my bike. sleep. ive tried dating websites, some luck , but nothing lasts. Although i am thinking of volunteering at the local museum. maybe meet some people with similar interests.
>>612288549 i guess overall im just tired of feeling like a useless unwanted sad person. i try to keep a face on , especially at work, im always trying to smile, even if im falling apart. Do talk to some people at work, smoke with a few. Also am buying a car soon, so maybe things will improve when i can leave town and be mobile.
>>612288458 A person's well-being should not depend on the presence or absence of other shimpansees around him. Is just a mentality "i need a pack to run with" that makes anon feel miserable if he has no friends around. This attititude is the problem that needs to be fixed, not looking for "meeting new people"
>Be me >30's, fat, bald, kinda tall >business man, so have some cash, you might say I'm a king pin of my business >wearing my best all black suit with black pocket square at art gallery >must have left fedora in the car >woman comes up to me and tells bad joke >she's 9/10 qt3.14 >she's totally into me so I buy the painting >go back to art gallery >ask if she'd join me for dinner >she says she can't because she' the only one working, but a guy tried buying all the paintings to get her to leave >tell her any woman who an be bought isn't worth having >she asks if I like Italian >at my size, it's clear I like any food >take her to new fancy Italian place >I'm nervous spaghetti everywhere >Give short mumbly answers for everything >Call her captivating >Business associates barge in and end date >later she says she only wants to be friends >Decide to alpha up >Say "I enjoyed our time together very much. If you dont feel the same, even a little bit, just tell me and I promise you won't see me again" >She said she didn't know how I feel
>>612270518 hate >cant be myself cus my personality freaks people out >pretending brings friends but im lonely as fuck >my body(not obese tho) love >i learn things pretty quickly >i'm not a virgin >idk my name is pretty cool i guess
>>612281619 you are not ur father, fuck being shy make jokes about ur crazy dad, try to imrove urself every day inch by inch, write down today what are u gonna do tomorrow and just make urself do it AND the most important thing is dont take ur thoughts seriously and dont identify with them, they are NOT you and finally past doesnt matter just as tail doesnt wag the dog. good luck my /b friend
>>612291172 >implying that story is true I bet he's a Mcdonald's employee. Was at a comic shop, wearing his best leather jacket, brought his "girl" to the chinese all you can eat. and the business asocs where his McDonald's coworkers. He said M'lady obviously Rainbowe dash is best pony to the girl and she left because she thinks Applejack is best
>>612295377 Isn't it Dopamine? Anyway not only do I not have a good feeling, I get seriously depressed after fapping and don't want to see a person for the next 20 minutes. And yet I have to continue to do it everyday.
>>612296153 yes, you must be right, that thing is called dopamine. I also often have this feeling of depression after finishing, especially when i already is in bad mood. Maybe thats because you really expect something, but the brain goes "no way"
>>612273908 Yeah thats sounds pretty logical and everything But here is the counter argument I was at the breaking point a few months back Then i met this girl Not just the facy that i met her But the way it happened It was the exact way and the exact kind of girl that let me allow myself to get involved with someone The i sort of pushed her away becomming to jelous and too attached we split Feel miserable The decided that i would indulge every desire of mine Started doing things i always wantef to do and actually getting out of my confort zone Im having a great time And i realizes you can reason your way into mantaining the status quo You gona find many reasons not to do something and why they would be pointless and not get you anywhere But you really cant foresee the outcome of them and where they could take you Sometimes its hard to keep myself in that frame of mind but try to live in the moment every now and then Think of what you really like snd give it a shot And embrace what comes with it
>I was born with clubfoots >the Operation was when i was a baby, i dont know how many months >I can walk normal, it only looks kinda funny >My first memory is how my crying mother looks the door to my room because my drunk father is mad at something >Dad is an alcoholic but he understands my problems and fears better than my mother >Dad has a little factory where he and one employee work >Every sunday my dad and i visist grandma >Grandma makes the best tomato soup i have ever eaten >Grandpa fought in WW2 and survived, he is a cool guy >I like grandma and grandpa very much since they are really nice to me, make good food and even have the time to play cardboard games with me >Fast forward a few years >Going to the "Realschule" its some kind of junior high school for ages 10 to 16 >12 years old >Average amount of friends even a few femal ones >Mom wants a divorce and gets it >I get to decide if i want to stay with my father or go and live with my mother >Choose father because that way i dont have to move to my mother and can still visist my grandparents >Mother moves away >fast forward half a year >Father rides his bike while drunk >Its winter and his bike slips, he falls and breaks his leg >He has to stay longer in the hospital so i have to move to my mother >She picks me up and we drive to her new apartment >Her new boyfriend is an alcoholic asshole like my father >beats the living shit out of me >First day in the new school >Other kids make fun of me because i walk funny >beat me in the dressing rooms after sport lessons >no friends >cant visit grandparents like every weekend >most of my spare time is spent playing vidya or reading books >every time i get a bad grade or a letter from the school came i got beaten >one night my mother and her friend aren`t home
>i know that there is a gun in the livingroom >i dont know how to shoot myself >im 14 years old, crying and holding a gun on my head >switch position of gun from side of head to inside of mouth >still crying >think of my grandma and how everything might get better and how sad she would be >dont pull the trigger >years later i found out that it was just a gas gun >fast forward a bit >My mothers boyfriend has left >I stand in the bath and prepare for school >Mother knocks on door >My grandfather has died >Im attending the funeral and hugging my crying grandmother >Crying like a crybaby >Few months later >The hospital calls >My father has been taken to hospital because of organ failure >The doctor says he isnt going to make it much longer >Visit dad >Dad is in coma so i cant talk to him >The next morning my dad is dead >Attending the funeral >My grandmother, is crying even worse then on my grandfathers funeral >again holding her >Fast forward a few years to the present >im an adult now but i still have to live with my mother because im poor >My grandmother is now 89 years old >Call her to wish her a happy easter >She says that she has send me a package with some selfmade socks and a bit of money >Say that i am going to visit her >3 days later >Getting a phonecall >She got a heartstroke >having to attend another funeral in a few weeks
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