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Ask a Mormon anything

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Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 102
Thread images: 5

Ask a Mormon anything
>>
>>611587619
does god watch me poop
>>
What do you guys think of "Book of Mormon"?
>>
>>611587752
Technically, yes.
>>
>>611587619
Why are you a Mormon? Is it just because you grew up that way? or did you become Mormon later on in life? (If so explain)
>>
>>611587884
I haven't seen the musical or heard anything about it really. I've heard everything from it was super offensive to it was hilarious and not offensive at all.
>>
put that hotel bible back in your drawer and go to bed faggot, your parents and you have a big day tomorrow
>>
>>611587938
yessss
>>
>>611588070
I was raised a Mormon. However, there were like 2 years where I stopped believing and renounced my faith. I regained it later on though, in a story way too complicated for here.
>>
Do you fuck with your partner?
>>
Why are you following something that was created by a known con artist?
>>
>>611588367
I'm not gay. And my fiance and I don't have sex.
>>
>>611587619
You believe in the magic plate theory?
>>
Why Mormonism? I always wonder this, if you accept revelation and dgoma how do you choose one group of these over another? Do you just 'feel' it's the most correct?
>>
>>611588521
As in the Golden Plates? Yes.
>>
Are you in the Tabernacle choir and do you only take one breath a day, in the morning when you wake up?
>>
Do you wear those underwear that look like PJ's every where you go?
>>
>>611588642
Well, I've felt revelation in my own life about the LDS church and its trueness. So I suppose so.
>>
>>611587619
How does it feel to be a retarded clueless faggot on how the world works?
>>
>>611588808
It's literally just a white shirt and shorts. Kinda like under armour i suppose.
>>611588803
I'm not in the Tabernacle Choir. One breath a day?
>>
You guys are the laughing stock of religion next to Scientology. Joesph Smith was a well known con artist. Kill yourself op.
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>>611589138
Welp
>>
>>611589138
this
America would have have a spear chucker than a mormon for president
>>
>>611589071
Never mind. It's a choir joke, because the Mormons have such an amazing choir my choir jokes that you all only take one breath a day. Being that the Tabernacle choir is so good that they can hold extended notes in one breath.
>>
atheist here, my best bro is a Mormon, we play magic and he smokes me up for free...plus his wife is fucking HOT.

good times, good times
>>
>>611587619
If you are legit, why are you here? No true follower would venture into this place.
>>
Did you go on a mission? IF yes where? If no, why are you such a bad mormon?
>>
>>611589503
Ignoring all the porn and messed up stuff, I think 4chan is pretty funny. I don't go here often though.
>>
>>611589586
I went to Taipei, Taiwan.
>>
>>611589688
>4chan is pretty funny
obvious newfaggotry, gtfo faggot
also dubs
>>
>>611589796
Well yeah, as I said I don't go here often.
>>
>>611587619
What is the name of the planet where God and his wife live?
>>
>>611589911
Plus I just think /b/ is a weird and interesting place.
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>>611588876
I've found revelations from LSD church. What makes me different from you?
>>
>>611589995
God doesn't have a wife, and Kolob is the planet nearest where God is, not where he lives.
>>
>>611587619

is there any way i could arrange for a mormon to come to my place and try to sell me on the whole mormon religion thing? preferrably one with curly hair, and one with a shorter buzzed look?

i ask cuz im sexually interested in sex with impressionable young mormons. id invite them in (wearing only my robe) and offer them lemonade.
>>
>>611589995
*wives
I'm not joking,That's really what they believe.
>>
>>611590149
I think that everyone finds their own way to God. Besides, even if the LDS church is wrong, I still think its a pretty good club to be a part of.
>>
>>611590254
No, it isn't...
>>
>>611587619
Is this what you look like if you did a lot of lds?
>>
Do missionaries actually believe they can convert other people, or is it just like "OK, we gotta do this for 2 years..."?
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>>611590150
Joseph Smith himself talked about The Heavwnly Mother so you must be either a troll or some offshoot mormon so post your LDS membership card for proof
>>
>>611590658
We actually believe we can convert people. For example, I baptized 8 people on my mission. In fact I've never heard of a mission that hasn't ended with at least one conversion.
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>>611590713
He spoke about it but we don't know her relationship to God or humans
>>
>>611590150
look up "Heavenly Mother(Mormonism)" in wikipedia. Mormons believe in the wife of God
>>
>>611590150
Dude get it right.both god and Jesus have to be married to be in the celestial kingdom.. Mormon of 25 years here...
>>
>>611588876
And is that more valid than someone who finds it in Catholicism, Islam, even Hinduism? I heard that on explanation is that He is so incomprehensible that we can only fathom him in parts, or that no set of human beliefs can every be fully accurate
>>
>>611588308
I'm a former Mormon.
Tell me, why did you go back?
>>
Is it true mormons are not allowed to drink carbonated drinks?
>>
>>611590861
how do you feel about the ceremonial baptizing of holocaust victims that was done by the LDS a while back?
>>
>>611587619
Do you collect rare Pepe's?
>>
>>611591085
Well, I don't think that's true...
>>611591092
When I left the church, my life started sucking. GF broke up with me, I started failing college, I became an alchoholic. There just wasn't that happiness and comfort and relationship with God I had felt earlier. So I came back, and I honestly think I'm better for it.
>>
>>611590951
yeah she is the wife of gods and mother of human spirits, im not even a mormon and seem to know more about it then you.
>>
>>611587619
>2015
>Believing in god

Are you literally fucking retarded?
>>
>>611591273
We're allowed to drink carbonated drinks.
>>611591284
I can see why it was offensive to people, and I thought it was when I first heard about it, but I'm glad it was done.
>>
>>611591601
Once again, that's not a thing people generally talk about. I didn't even know there was a Heavenly Mother until I was 13.
>>
>>611591491
Then tell me why you left in the first place.
The fact that you had a shitty time after you left doesn't mean the church is true.
My life's improved after leaving, it hasn't gotten worse.
Everyone has a different anecdote.

For the longest time I believed what I was told about the Holy Ghost and shit.
If you really think about it though, the Holy Ghost is just you feeling good in response to the gospel.
That being the case, what reason is there to continue to believe?
>>
>>611591491
So you think Mormonism is more true to His will than other religions? I'm not sure about the nuances of your sect, but as a Christian don't you have trouble reconciling the Old Testament? Every verifiable claim they make is wrong and it doesn't feel like the same God (i'm aware of new covenant arguments)
>>
>>611587619
Meeting 2 Mormon chicks on their Mission this weekend. They will try to convert me. Tell me what questions I should expect. I really just want to fuck the hot one.
>>
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>>611591946
He believes because he's a fucking white trash Joseph Smith shill with the brain and dick of a down syndrome ant midget.
>>
>>611592222
Take it easy, man.
>>
>>611592222
Nice quads
>>
>>611591716
well i sure hope in a hundred years or so some new religion does some weird shit to desecrate your death.
>>
>>611587619
fuck off
>>
>>611592081
Well, look at the context of the writing. During this whole time, God's people were having loss after loss after loss. I think the vengefulness was an unfortunate necessity.
>>611591946
I left because I was young and stupid and thought the idea of organized religion was crazy. Also, the Holy Spirit is what guides you through life on the path to God. I didn't feel the Spirit during my two years of absence from the Church.
>>
>>611587619
Do you believe you will inherit a new Earth and be the Jesus of that world? If so you are a gigantic fucking faggot.
>>
90% certain that op is troll or an ignorant faggot even by mormon standards (which are low as fuck)
>>
>>611592186
Real talk here: Generally, the first time they meet you will just be introductions and getting to know eachother. It's really just casual chat. Please don't have sex with the missionaries
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>>611587619
>Im a Pentecostal youth pastor ask me anything. I'll break your doctrine .
>>
>>611592577
You don't know that what you're feeling is the holy ghost.
All you know is you feel good during sacrament and general conference.
There's no indication that the good feeling comes from god.
I wish I could say this shit in church but I'm just going to have to settle for interrogating you instead.
>>
>>611587619
why are you alive? die you fucking creationist
>>
>>611592767
they prefer to be called demigods m8
>>
>>611587938
Have you gone on your mission? Were you married at 19? Are you actually mormon, or are you "mormon"? I assume the latter (get it, latter) because you are on 4chan.
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>>611592577
Ok. fair enough, there are holes there but I can see a way around them. Even more generally now, is theism sensible when the vast vast majority of species and even people had lived and died before they received His word?
>>
>>611592918
This doesn't have to be hostile, we can just talk. The Spirit isn't only good feelings; it provides revelation and steers you in the right direction

Also, I apologize if I'm not as educated on doctrine as I could be; I renounced my faith for two years and am attempting to rebuild my testimony.
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Wow! A Mormon?/???!!!
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>>611592767
I will be God, not Jesus. And yes, there is a difference.
>>
are you jewish
>>
>>611592877
I've meet them before OP. This is our second meeting. What should I be expecting from this second meet?
>>
>>611592577
Are you a missionary if so what the hardest part?
>>
Since you follow the angel Moroni, aren't you a Moron technically speaking?
>>
>>611593481
You are a confirmed faggot then. Congrats on being such a waste of sperm.
>>
>>611593307
Read D&C Section 138; explains it better than I could.
>>611593222
I went on a mission, my fiance and I are getting married in June.
>>
>>611589465
Is his name either Geoff or pat?
>>
>>611593445
I've no intention of being hostile, as I've been there once myself.
I'm a former member. You don't need to explain what the spirit is.

That being said, do you have any person experience with the spirit that couldn't be chalked up to mere coincidence or positive emotions?
We always hear about how the spirit tells us exactly the right thing at the right time, but that doesn't constitute evidence.
>>
I think everyone in this thread can agree that it could be worse, he could be a scientologist
>>
>>611593573
Good question. Probably more casual talking, maybe some doctrine, maybe a lesson, depends.
>>
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>>611593659
Mormons did WTC
>>
>>611593481
>>611593692
That wasn't me...
>>
>>611594176
Does not matter, you are still a Mormon faggot.
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>>611593642
I was a missionary. The hardest part I think is just the homesickness.
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OP here, I love enormous penises in and around my ass and mouth.

As a Mormon, my final test is to see how many of the elders' dicks I can take in my ass at a time.

My record is all of them.
>>
>>611591338
Under rated post. Answer the man OP.
>>
>>611594438
Is that really true
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>>611594330
i would've thought not being able to use machinery would be hard. once met a few while cutting some geodes in my driveway and they were really intrigued but couldn't cut one open since they were missionaries.
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>>611592186
Fuck both of them and tell them Jesus would of wanted it that way and if they question it. Tell them you spoke to him one night in the forest. Mormons believe anything.
>>
>>611593879
>I went on a mission, my fiance and I are getting married in June.
Are you excited to be married? Was it an arranged marriage?
>>
>>611594067
Whats the shittiest part of Mission work? You said homesickness. Don't you have a partner who comes from the same place with you?
>>
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Mormons are an affront to the dark lord Satan, hallowed be his name.
>>
>>611592577
Former rm here, did you try any other churches, our just became an alcoholic and relied on vices, I'm part of a Calvary chapel church now even though my wife is a young woman's leader in the ward, I can honestly say that have more faith than ever and found a better way of worship.
>>
>>611594559
OP here, yes of course
>>
As a fairly recent convert myself I find this thread very entertaining :) and will be willing to put my own thoughts to any questions if asked.
Thread posts: 102
Thread images: 5



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