What would /b do |

>>611268475
start masturbating furiously

retards still think he crashed deliberatly

>heavy breathing in cockpit

>auto pilot button kept being pushed

>implying he wasn't fucking an air stewardess and as he was pounding her the buttons weren't being pushed

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I'd crash this plane. With NO SURVIVORS

Once more into the thread,
Into the last good banter I'll ever know,
Post and troll on this day,
Post and troll on this day.

>>611268475
I'm not dumb enough to get on a plane in the first place.

I was warning you guys with daily threads about how retarded flying is. Enjoy having zero control over your life. I hope someone saw my threads and died on that flight.

>>611268895
flying is safer than any other means of transportation

Make PA announcement, thank everyone for flying Germanwings.

>>611269021
Is it safer than mom's basement?

>>611268475
literally nothing you can do. That's why we have regulations that require flight attendants to sit in the pilot/first captain seat when they use the restroom.

>>611268780
/b is not in the cockpit

>>611268475

jet fuel can't melt steel beams

>>611269222
although it's designed for medical emergency reasons and not a suicidal pilot. Flight attendants are trained to "land".

Get a fucking person to help me open the door.

Fucking Nazis man, Retards all of them.

Steel caps can't break jet doors.

>>611268475
I would die when the plane finished crashing.

>>611269269
What if we have it all wrong... what if steel beams cannot melt jet fuel?

>>611268475
Right before the plane crashed I would jump up in the air.

>>611270049
jet beams cannot fuel steel melt.

>>611269342
No they are not. It takes about 50 hours to learn to land a 737 or air bus319. No airline invests that time. Pilotfag here

Would tell suicide pilot that there is no steal beams in mountains

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>>611270282

>>611268475
in a situation where death is imminent?

Jeez, I don't know.. Probably become hysteric, start flailing about.

Or start killing other passengers on board and try to form a meatshield for yourself to soften the impact.

>>611268475
>Flay the skin of the passengers
>produce skin parachute
>exit plane

>>611268895
>I'm not dumb enough to get on a plane in the first place.

Well, you certainly are dumb.

>>611269021
That is a statistical misnomer


It is only portrayed as the safest because the total number of deaths is less than that of car transport

But think about it, how many people are on the roads in cars every day and how many are in the sky in planes?

If the same amount of planes were in the sky as there are cars on the ground we'd see the true safeness of flying.

Machines fail, would you prefer to be on the ground or 1 km in the sky?

>>611269186
Is that transportation?

>>611268475

Open side door of plane and jump
If the situation is a hijacking and im likely going to die in a crash id atleast get a free skydive in before i go.
Might even make a miraculous landing in a lake

>>611270282

I was not prepared for this day.

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>>611268895
>Enjoy having zero control over your life.
Enjoy living in fear of the world like a pussy.

>>611270376
kek

>>611271066
his mom's basement is traveling at 107,000 km/h

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Do a barrel roll

>>611271081
landing in water from 20,000 feet up would be the same as landing in a parking lot.

>>611271232
lel

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ask:
So does any of the passengers happen to have a bomb with them?
>Whole plane goes into chaos
>Swat team bursts in from the window and shoot the pilot for saying bomb
>The Swat place a breaching charge on the door
>door explode and pilot is shot
>Swat team continues by invading the bathroom and taking all the toilet paper with them
>Swat team leave us without any pilot
>couple windows crashed
>smoke and dust in the air
>go take a dumb
>mfw no magazines
>fucking swat teams

>>611270288
they're trained to land/crash land on a simulator for like a day ;)

>>611271081
>open the side door
Ever heard of cabin pressure you nigger

>>611271289
>water
>parking lot
are you dumb?

>>611271059
>If the same amount of planes were in the sky as there are cars on the ground we'd see the true safeness of flying.
that's ridiculous. It portrayed as safer not because the absolute number of deaths is lower, but because the relative number of deaths is lower.

>>611271340
dat imagination

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>>611271530

>>611271081
You may survive, but you could become a vegetable. Enjoy sitting in bed for 50 years not being able to move or speak.

>>611271340
top kek

>>611271584
relative deaths is also misinformation because the scenario is tested far fewer times.
You cant compare one population of data with a much much larger population of data

>>611268475

Pilot here. After the sand niggers did their thing on 9/11 a lot of airlines (Mine included) reinforced those doors to just below bank vault status. Good luck.

>>611271788
>how do I statistical information?
I honestly hope that you're still in highschool or never took a statistics course or something.

>>611268475
>open window
>climb outside
>make way to front
>knock on window
>be let in

>>611271980
I got HD's in advanced stats mate

p value, yeah i know it
coefficient of variation, no problem

Aircraft deaths vs car deaths are not comparable

>>611269269
>>611269627
>>611270049
>>611270282
>>611270480
>>611271193
jet planes cant melt mountains

>>611272211
mountian plane was a inside job

>>611272144
Your school sucks then.

>Aircraft deaths vs car deaths are not comparable

Yes, they are. If you actually knew anything you'd know that.

>>611272312
That's like saying shark attacks are on the rise because sharks are becoming more/vicious and common.

It's false!

Shark attacks are becoming m ore common because there are more people going in the ocean.

Just a small amount of critical thinking is all it requires

Good thread. The stupidity in here made my day

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>pull oxygen tube out of old man in the disabled aisle
>feed end of tube under door, hopefully greased up from being in old man
>get all the passengers to line up before the door
>each passenger has to stick the end of the tube up their ass and fart
>door entry can no longer be manually locked out by unconscious pilot

>>611272042
why not use spare keys and open driver's door when you climb to front?

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>>611272491
>statisticians who hold advanced degrees are perfectly okay with comparing auto and air travel deaths
>anonymous retard on /b/ disagrees.
>cites correlation vs causation as proof.
>mfw

>>611272841
It is not a fair comparison

Odds of dying in a vehicle crash over your lifetime, 1 in 491.
Odds of dying in an plane crash 1 in over 8000.
To be that stooopid with the worlds knowledge at your fingertips, is depressing.

>>611273207
it is, you are just retarded, the other guys are right.

they usually count passanger hours in flight versus passanger hours in car

>not even counting the driver in a car, a lot of people drive alone constantly

it is a fact that you are safer in the passenger seat of an average aircraft then the passenger seat of an average automobiel... chances of you dying per hour are astronomically smaller

>>611268475
Use the code to open the door. Doesn't matter though because the plane is failing.

>>611273465
254,639,386 registered motor vehicles in the USA
~8000 Commercial aircraft in the USA


seems fair

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>>611268780

>>611273780
>>611273465
I hope both a plane and a car are driven are driven up both of your asses.

>>611274233
Just learn to statistics with a critical mind
Then you might not contribute as much shit to the cesspool that is the human race

>>611271340
dude, 420 was yesterday.

>>611274369
If you had a critical mind you might stop to wonder why you're having an anal fart wank over car vs plane crash statistics on /b/

>>611268475
Decline at a steeper angle

>>611274476
I stumbled into an argument

I'm relaxing, drinking, browsing /b/

Arguing with people is mainly what happens

I'm about to jump on GTAV PC wanna do some heists? I'll be the pilot

>>611271198

this

plus, enjoy never leaving your home town, seeing anything or doing anything that could better your life

pussy faggot

>>611273849
for adults who aren't into super hero shit, that bane stuff is really unfunny

SHOT SOME MOTHERFUCKING WINDOWS!

>>611268475
> Furiously bang on door
> Get help breaking it down
> Get pissed at the lack of a key for a pilot to get in
> Grab some boose
> Grab the PA system
> Clamly
> and quietly
> Wisper
> allahu akbar

>>611273849
who actually sits there and sifts through that mountain of shit?

Make it more succinct please

>>611273780
Why do the numbers have to be equal for you to make a comparison?

If there were 1000x more cars and 1000x times the fatalities you could say that flying and driving are equal. But there are >30.000x cars (us) and >3.000 accidents per day... more accidents every day than deaths from plane crashes

>>611268684
plausible, would explain a lot

I'd tell the pilot there are goats on the plane and they are horny

>>611275060
deaths from plane crashes in a year**

>>611271883

Did they finally stop saying "This is Captain Fudgepacker on behalf of our Peoria based flying crew"?

It seems like they did.

Because that was stupid as shit. For years after 911 they still gave the name of the pilot and the pilot would even be standing there when you walked on a plane.

At that point, all you need is a cell phone to hijack a plane.

You learn the route. Learn it's always Captain Fudgepacker and that he lives in Peoria.

Your associates kidnap LittleLoliFemanon Fudgepacker.

You walk on the plane and hand Captain Fudgepacker a cell phone.

Done.

He'll do whatever the fuck you want him to.

But I fly a fuckload, and I just don't remember hearing much in the way of banter lately. But I fly mostly international so maybe they still do that shit on domestic.

>>611274838
> who aren't into super hero shit
>for adults
>adults
Yeah because ALL the mature people come to 4chan to complain about some other nigger's unfunny jokes.

>>611275060
many many reason
one obvious one;

there are so many cars they are crashing into each other

do planes crash into each other? incredibly rarely. Why? because there are only 8000 operating across USA

Either way I concede that it is safer to travel by air, but i would conclude that it is ONLY safer due to the fact that there are few aircraft operating

>>611275371
>but i would conclude that it is ONLY safer due to the fact that there are few aircraft operating

theoretically that may be true, but in the practical world...... you're an idiot.

there's too much room up in the sky for a practical number of planes to ever worry about crashing into each other.

>>611270071
does this even work?

I'd take a pretty passenger and rape her in the crew cabin

>>611275808

LOL.

that was a joke, right?

because if you were serious, you are either an idiot or 8 years old.

>>611275371
Oh man that Caveat! Watch out niggers, soon the sky will be so full of fucking planes they'll be running into each other left and right.

That's the stupidest thing i've ever heard. Car's don't crash into one another because there are too many of them. Cars crash into one another because drivers don't follow the rules of the road due to
>ignorance
>willful disregard
>distractions
>shitty road conditions
>car malfunctions

The reason why More cars=more crashes is because the average driver is SHIT to begin with. Airplane pilots are trained to an extensive degree and all the the conditions I listed are routinely checked and prepared for.

If car drivers were trained like fucking airplane pilots then accidents would drop by a tremendous amount.

>>611275371
that is probably true. If there were more obstacles for planes to hit there would be many more accidents I'm sure. They only point I would argue is that it is statistically safer presently.

>>611275283

Yeah I've never said my name or anything. That's asking for it. Not even airline or aviation specific, that's general security.

The most interaction I have with the people is when they board and de-board the plane. You could make the argument that they would overpower us and get to the cockpit, but fortunately starting a commercial airliner is a bit of a process, even if you skip through the checklists. And that's assuming our hijackers even know that for a turbine engine you have an APU vs. keys.

>>611275923
With more planes there is a requirement for more pilots

with a requirement for more pilots you are going to see a drop in standards

resulting in drunk pilots
high pilots
criminal pilots
incompetent pilots
suicidal pilots
gay pilots
furry pilots
/b/tard piltots

take that biatch

>>611276185

I still think the interaction while boarding opens you up to hijacking by cell phone.

Unlikely yes? but that's what they said about box cutters until it happened.

Demand to drive

>>611275923
more planes = more;

malfunctions
more chance of encountering bad weather
more chance of encountering distractions

etcetcetcetcetctetce

>>611276255

Well, thankfully I'm only a /b/ pilot. But all jokes aside I take flying very seriously as well as all of my colleges. If your flying schedule has you so burned out that you need to waste away in a bottle or are so depressed with the idea of flying people from point A to B then it's time to leave the commercial industry. Go back to flying 172's where you can only kill yourself instead of 200 innocent people.

>>611276698
Yep

Which makes me think

Flying is only safer because of the rigorous training that pilots undergo

Imagine if getting your pilots license was the same as getting your drivers license. There is no way it would be safer.

Which reinforces my initial point that they cant really be compared in a meaningful way.

In a functional way sure, that is to say that more people do die in cars than they do in planes each year. But meaningfully, it is not because planes are safer, but because the people piloting them are better trained and monitored.

How's that for a caveat?

>>611276372

What? like Messing with the Avionics or something? No. Before this I was an Avionics Technician in the military. Even our Airborne Electronic Warfare planes couldn't remote fly another plane.

About the worst I could see is a glitch or some form of interference, at which point I'd cycle my computers and keep going. But, in the incredibly unlikely, planets aligned scenario that Mr. Terrorist has fucked up my avionics beyond use. A lot of Commercial planes still have cables connecting from the yoke to the flight control surfaces. (Boeing planes do, at least)

>>611277062

Agreed.

While both are in the transport industry, they're completely different beasts.

I think the biggest hurdle with flying is that you're literally placing your life in my hands 30,000 ft MSL (Above Sea level)

People are more comfortable with driving because they're in control of the car.

It's hard giving up control over anything you have, especially something as precious as life.

I always tell people that we want to land (Safely) just as much as you do, and that Pilot training is hard for a reason. Much like you said, if it was as easy as getting a drivers license then I would be worried for the industry.

>>611271584

planes aren't designed for crash safety
with cars safety is a selling feature

>>611278500
Yeah buts its only safe it crashes the right way

>>611278471
roger

over and out

>>611278500

>>611278500

Yeah, they do alright. Glide ratio is a big one. Contrary to popular belief if your engines shut down, you won't fall out of the sky, you'll glide down.

The reason so many fireballs are seen is because of the fuel igniting.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8DIy2Ot186A&ab_channel=CrashCompilationTV3

There's an example of a crash landing not killing everyone.

EP's are drilled into us. On our check rides they're no joke and any good examiner should fail you if you're not 100% on your EP's.

>>611279743

Didn't mean to quote you twice there.