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Good Evening /b/ I'mm be your DM for tonight. >You wake

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 316
Thread images: 13

File: DNDDice.jpg (8KB, 300x168px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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Good Evening /b/ I'mm be your DM for tonight.

>You wake up and scan your surroundings.
>You find yourself lying in a cave, outside there's a blizzard but inside the cave is surprisingly warm.
>You reach in your pants pocket and find a dull knife, 5 gold, and a piece of paper.

0 Decides what we do
>>
I fuck her right in the pussy
>>
Shit in hand.
>>
>>610437973
Does the paper have any writing on it?
>>
>>610438239
>DM Here

>It's blank
>>
Pick up rock and sharpen knife
>>
Put everything in pocket into ass and walk through cavenn
>>
use the knife to shave down the gold coins, roll the gold into the paper to make a joint, spark knife off the cave wall to smoke the most expensive joint you'll ever make
>>
Roll for insight
>>
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Dust your lucky adventurer hat off, adjust your bearings and brace to descend deeper into the cave.
>>
>>610438411
Re roll for this.
>>
>>610438415
Reroll
>>
>>610437973
am i on a mountain? if yes, fast-roll down of the mountain and see where you can arrive
>>
>>610437973
throw knife out the cave into blizzard then eat paper and put gold coins up pee hole
>>
>>610437973
Put condom on knife and shove it up ass
>>
>>610438411
Roll
>>
>>610438613
re roll
>>
>>610438613
re roll this
>>
>>610438613
this is happening
>>
>>610438474
roll
>>
>>610437973
fap
0 get
>>
look at the papaer read what ever may be on it
>>
>>610438613
Reroll
>>
>>610438770
win.rar
>>
>>610437973
Slit my own throat and die
>>
attack blizzard w knife.
>>
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>>610438770
>>
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>>610438778
>>
>>610438770
>DM Here

>You roll the joint and light it
>SeeNothingButMoney.jgp
>Cross fingers for no metal poisoning
>>
Search cave for dead hookers
>>
Jerk off until death
>>
>>610439000
>DM Here

>You do not find any dead hookers
>You do find a comb made of bone
>>
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>>610439000
>>
>>610439181
attack the darkness with knife
>>
>>610438984
Thank crist
>>
>>610437973
you ain't shit bitch, I'll fuck you up for even thinking that kinda shit, get outa here, cunts like you are the ones locked in dungeons not the masters, go back to scrabble ya fuck.
>>
>>610439181
Brush pubs until nice and soft to the breeze.
>>
>>610439268
Rerolling for this
>>
Use knife to cut myself, use blood from cut to draw satanic summoning circle to get help and find that little bitch from the last thread and rape her fucking ass.
>>
Stab knife into throat. Be reborn as 8 year old little girl.
>>
Using stealth I search for light/warmth in the cave
>>
>>610439569
why again
>>
>>610439181
Use hex of adulthood. Become man forever
>>
>>610437973
Start sharpening the knife on a rock while planning the traps I will tie when the blizzard breaks.
>>
>>610439554
Rawling
>>
Spot check
>>
>>610439728
Roll
>>
>>610439181
wtf dm. he rolled natural trips and you're not going to give him any dead hookers?
I call bs for train roading
>>
Cast gender swap spell
fails
Now half man, half woman
>>
>>610439795
>train roading
>>
comb pubes
>>
>>610439181
Shove comb up ass
>>
shove comb up ass
>>
I search the cave more thoroughly. Last to digits modulo 20 are my d20 roll.
>>
>>610440153
13 search, DM?
>>
Shit on comb
>>
summon bear
>>
>DM Here

>Taking too long
>1 and 0 is what we're doing
>>
Sharpen knife against rock, use dull knife+1 to go and fuck shit up. Loot whatever I fuck up.
>>
summon tarrasque
>>
Wait for blizzard to pass
>>
I search the fucking cave better!
>>
stick comb up pooper and take off all my clothes and run into freezing blizzard looking for giants so i can suck their giant cocks for infinite food and live like a god that sucks giants cocks.
>>
>>610440002
rail tracking
wtf ever
>>
>>610440284
>>610440340
>>610440360

good job op.
>>
>>610440381
winnnahhhhh
>>
>>610440388
u wot m8?

Also checkd
>>
>>610440381
this one op, what happens
>>
>>610440338
Rerawl
>>
>>610440340
>>610440360
>>610440381
Thread is kill.
>>
DM PLS
>>
>>610440381
slowest fucking DM ever
>>
Search for source of warmth in the cave
>>
>>610440340
>DM Here

>You attempt to summon Tarrasque
>Fail
>Summon retarded goat instead

>>610440360
>You wait
>Blizzard calms down to not white out condition
>Still cold outside

>>610440381
>Attempt to stick comb up pooper
>Fail
>Put in mouth instead
>Walk outside
>Slip on ice
>Nice job dumbass
>>
fuck goat
>>
Spot check
>>
>>610441051
winrar
>>
Domesticate retarded goat and teach it language.
>>
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>>610440927
Cry a lot.
>>
File: Aybabtu.png (5KB, 240x160px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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Set up us the bomb
>>
>>610440927
Lying in the snow, I stare up at the sky. I have lost the will to go on.
>>
>>610441051
>DM Here

>Put dick in goat

>>610441150
>Look around outside
>Snow
>>
>>610440927
Shit EVERYWHERE
>>
>>610440927
Walk around outside furiously masturbating to keep body temperature up
>>
>>610441323
reroll
>>
>>610441264
You seem upset, anything you wanna talk aboot?
>>
Takes the dull knife and commits suicide while being edgy as a tumblr user
>>
>>610440927
did i break anything by slipping over? i take comb and comb my eyelashes and go deeper into cave, is there light? or is it dark,
>>
Scream: "Tony Stark built this in a cave!"
>>
>>610441264
advanced to next area.
>>
I'm going to Shout "Yol Toor Shul" at the Darkness and see if I spew fire like Dragon
>>
>>610441429
I WANNA GO DEEPER INTO THE FUCKING CAVE WITH GOD LIKE EYE LASHES
>>
summon tarrasque
>>
>>610441205
reroll
>>
>DM Here

>>610441320
>Shit is everywhere
>You filth
>>
>>610441444
Trips deserve reroll if DM won't acknowledge.
>>
>>610441264
Marry goat. Leave cave with goat wife
>>
>>610441523
DEPPER INTOO THE CAAVE
>>
Walk back into the cave, searching for its source of warmth
>>
>>610441489

>MusT Reroll For Fire Breath!
>>
>>610441619
Reroll
>>
>>610441564
do you even have a plan for this?

explore deeper into cave. find source of heat.
>>
Use dull knife to gut the goat. Wear the goats intestines as a hat
>>
>>610441564
i grab knife, smear shit all over my face for camo and go deeper into the cave while combing my cock hairs
>>
>>610441740
Oh fuck winrar
>>
>DM Here

>>610441740
>You marry goat
>It's cold outside
>Kill wife for fur
>Warm
>>
>>610441444
Reroll
>>
>>610441489

Please Shout Fire into Darkness ;-;
>>
>>610441869
You whore. Use goatskin as fleshlight. Smear cum over face as disguise.
>>
Where can I find dice with a look like in OP's picture? I've reverse image searched but just come up with random similar pictures. Not an actual place where I can find those dice.
>>
cast revive on wafu
>>
Explore deeper into the cave
>>
>>610442076
roll
>>
too warm. start to sweat. legs freeze. try walking, legs shatter.
>>
>DM Here

>>610442030
>You shout "Yol Toor Shul" into the cave
>Spew fire everywhere
>>
>>610442076
Reroll
>>
>>610441869
lay inside goat wifes insides for warmth for 10 years while constantly combing my long arse gooch hair, then go deeper into the cave, sprinting deep into that dark fucking cave
>>
I am going to try to attend a college where my friend plays D&D all the time and goes to war with other groups.

How hard or easy is it to learn the basics of D&D
>>
>>610441869
Find some way to make fire and cook and consume remains
>>
>>610442140
does this one count?
>>
>>610442045
reroll
>>
>>610442222
nice quads
>>
>>610442222
>>610442030

We spew fire like Dragons!
>>
>>610442222
can i have his?>>610442220
>>
shittiest D&D ever

make some real friends and play IRL in a real basement
>>
>>610442220
Its like learning to play league of legends
>>
>>610442216
THIS AND THEN CUT GOOCH HAIR OFF AND WRAP IT AROUND MY COMB AND USE FIRE TO LIGHT IT SO I CAN GO DEEP INTO CAVE
>>
>>610442222
>quads
checked
>>
>>610442333
nice trips
>>610442392
I've never played LoL so I wouldn't know
>>
>>610442395
GO DEEPER INTO THE FACE U FUCKING CUNTS,
>>
>>610442422
nice dubs
>>
>>610442494
or better yet, the cave
>>
>DM Here

>>610442345
>Blizzard has ended
>Find Sticks
>Cook meat
>>
>>610442140
reroll?
>>
>>610442485
easy to learn but it takes time A LOT OF TIME
>>
Make Torch somehow

Proceed deeper into cave. Prepare to shout fire at anything that we see.
>>
>>610442592
reroll
>>
>>610442586
>Blizzard has ended


If only you meant the gaming company
would be a beautiful day
>>
>>610442674
this fuckin guy
>>
COMMIT SUDOKU
>>
>>610442603
Alright that's wonderful. I'm definitely gonna have fun learning it then due to the fact of the person I'm interested in playing with is a girl who is a science geek.
>>
>>610442586
Resurrect goat wife for sex
>>
Go outside and hunt for food
>>
>>610442652

Rerolling to make progress... Fat loots ahead
>>
find footprints. follow them in circles. end up digging to china.
>>
>>610442833
checked
>>
>>610442833
ROLL
>>
>>610442185
i gently place my loose nut sack with my balls over a flat hard rock, i smash my own nut sack with the blunt handle of my dull knife and run as fast as i can down the dark tunnel like a wild jew in heat yelling "IM A BIG BOY MUM!, IM A BIG BOI!"
>>
PUT COMB UP ASS
>>
>>610442963
re roll
>>
Jerk off until dick catches fire - use dick for torch
>>
>>610442652
rolling for progress
>>
>>610442963
rolling
>>
File: 1426748943736.gif (425KB, 427x240px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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dance party w dead goat
>>
>>610442963
rerollz
>>
>>610443071
kekkerino
>>
>>610442963
rullz
>>
>>610442779
this guy fuckin
>>
sex goat remains
>>
>DM Here

>>610442901
>Start digging to China
>While digging you find a magic scroll

>>610443071
>Dick is on fire
>Torch has been added to inventory

>>610443101
>Dance with dead wife
>Sanity drops by 25%
>>
>>610442963
1 0 get
>>
>>610443187
fuckin this guy kek
>>
>>610442652

Must progress roll
>>
>>610443101
>>610443260
winrar
>>
>>610442963
000 get
>>
>DM Here

>>610443260
>Penis in goat
>Now have chlamydia
>>
>>610442963
1111 get
>>
>>610442963
Reroll
>>
>>610442963
want this to happen,wanna see whats in the tunnel
>>
>>610442652

Fuckin reroll like a D20 gimme that critical miss!
>>
sooo did we get to china or no?
>>
>>610442963
this,
>>
>>610442963
Pls make it happen
Reroll
>>
>>610442963
last roll, giving up
>>
>>610443593
got
>>
>>610443275
Use firey dick to set fire to magic scroll. Insert torch in dead sex goat
>>
>DM Here

>>610443540
>Smash nuts
>Run deep into cave
>Penis light illuminates foreign writing on wall
>Find 8 year old girl
>>
>>610443275
Use magic scroll to summon gains goblin.
>>
>>610443540
no way we could fail at smashing our own nut sack on a rock
>>
>>610443733
Spot then rape
>>
at mpt rape on girl. get stabbed in leg.
>>
>>610443750
WE HAVE GONE FULL CIRCLE
>>
>>610443733

... Check Quest Journal..

FUCK IT SHOUT YOR TOOR SHUL! SET THAT LITTLE BITCH ON FIRE!
>>
>DM Here

>>610443750
>Gains goblin summoned
>Str level goes to 1
>>
>>610443733
torch the bitch
>>
>>610443862
Reroll

Must... Set world on fire...

Stop the water, start the fire
>>
>>610439554
rolling
>>
>>610443911
Stick hand up gains goblin;s ass
>>
gains goblin rapes girl. girl bites gains goblins dick off and stabs you in the eye with
>>
>>610443911
Magic scroll was not consumed, reuse it to command gains goblin to catch the 8 year old girl.
>>
Attack 8 year old girl with Flaming Semen
>>
>DM Here

>>610444040
>Shout at girl
>Set on fire
>Goblin runs away in fear
>Drops your precious gains in the process
>>
Convince Loli to join party
>>
>>610444077
reroll
>>
>>610443733
pull smashed bloody nut out of my sack and wipe it over girls forehead and say "simba" then grab blunt knife and cut her meat curtains and clit off and insert into my mutilated nut sack then cut my long gooch hairs off, break a piece of the comb off and begin to stitch her clit and flaps into my nut sack and ascend into a god that has no gender and teleport out of cave
>>
shoo shoo gains goblin
>>
>>610444266
Read writings on the wall
>>
>DM Here

>>610444270
>She's dead you sick fuck

>>610444320
>Grats
>0 Decides where we go
>>
>>610444320
WINNAAAHHH
>>
-Check Hero Stats
>>
raise loli as zombie slave
fuck
>>
>>610444320
reroll
>>
>DM Here

>>610444480
>God Mode
>Max stats
>>
>>610444513
roll
>>
>>610444513
reroll
>>
Command satan duel you for a epic showdown
>>
>>610444440
Use teleportation to go to Disneyland
>>
>>610444598

Quickly! We will ascend to the Grey Wastes and destroy Hades! With our Dragon Shoutd and God Stats!
>>
>>610444444
>>
>>610444741

This Winrar works too!
>>
>DM Here

>>610444741
>Satan agrees to duel
>Dueling tomorrow at sundown
>>
>>610444440
teleport to op's house and rape him with your destroyed god cock and cum so hard that the little girls clit and flaps are forced through your god like penis at the force of 1000 suns blowing up op's rectum and the wall he was facing
>>
>>610444513
rollz
>>
>>610444877
rolling
>>
Abandon fight to go fuck satans bitch
>>
summon tarrasque
>>
>>610440927
fuck goat, kill goat, eat goat, avoid semen filled anal cavity while eating goat but keep goat anus and 12" of anal cavity as ye olde fleshlight, wear bloody goat hide as a jacket, use goat ribs, goat sinew and goat femur to make +1 bone goat axe, use goat sinew, other goat femur, and dull knife +1 to make RETARDED GOAT AXE OF THE FAGGOT OP+2, dual wield bone goat axe and retarded goat axe, head out into the wilderness.
>>
>>610444872

-Learn all the Dragon Shouts... Prepare to Fus Ro Dah Satan into the center of a Black Hole.-
>>
>>610444872
Summon loli army to train with
>>
>>610444872
Fuck Satan while he sleeps
>>
>>610444877
2x 77 dubs, need 1 or 0
>>
>>610437973
walk to cave wall and in it carve "Michael was here".
>>
Pull out a full blade and steady.
>>
>>610445041
i hope op's bumhole gets smashed
>>
>>610443300
for u
>>
>DM Here

>>610445010
>God Mode
>Already Learned

>>610445040
>Attempt to fuck satan while he sleeps
>Wakes up
>You kill satan but lose god mode
>Pass out
>Wake up in a dense forest with previous gear and monk robes
>>
File: mfw4.png (605KB, 851x478px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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fuck goat, kill goat, eat goat, avoid semen filled anal cavity while eating goat but keep goat anus and 12" of anal cavity as ye olde fleshlight, wear bloody goat hide as a jacket, use goat ribs, goat sinew and goat femur to make +1 bone goat axe, use goat sinew, other goat femur, and dull knife +1 to make RETARDED GOAT AXE OF THE FAGGOT OP+2, dual wield bone goat axe and retarded goat axe, head out into the wilderness.
>>
>>610439181
comb hair with bone comb and shave pubes with knife in preparation for the she-demon you will certainly encounter and fuck on your journey deeper into the cave.
>>
>>610445041
missed this reroll op, what happens?
>>
Praise alah and ask him for 20 men to help you
>>
find 6 mushrooms and place in circle
>>
>>610445286

Shite... Try to Dragon Shout a Tree to life?
>>
>DM Here

>>610445455
>PTSD
>>
>>610445286
Take off robes, find nearest cliff and jump off.
>>
>>610445286
Fuck a tree
>>
>>610445466
roll
>>
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92KB, 1000x660px
>>610445286
I awake from my slumber and look around, what do I see?
>>
Cut your wrist and make blood alter on chest
to get goat wife
>>
>>610445538
Reroll
>>
>>610445585
roll
>>
jerk off flaming dick to produce molten semen attack
>>
>>610445522
reroll
>>
>drill hole in tree
>fuck hole
>make tree/human baby
>kill self and respawn as godchild
>>
>>610445666
SATAN TRIPS
>>
Fuck it... Am now seperate warrior... Monk Robes gay as fuck...
>>
>DM Here

>>610445706
>Not DM
>Disregard
>>
>>610445513
SEX A TREE
>>
Go join Robb starks army and seige kings landing
>>
>>610445666
satanic trips revive satan, and he buttfucks OP in the ass
>>
Praise the sun
>>
>>610445841
Take the imp as your sex slave
>>
>>610445869

Rolling for this shite.
>>
>>610445828
Reroll
>>
>>610445687
Roll
>>
>>610445841
Winrar
>>
>>610445914
roll
>>
>DM Here

>>610445841
>Found Robb Stark
>He dies
>Lead his army
>>
1. Open dev terminal. 2. Type 'god_mode'
>>
>>610446016
Sacrifice army to gain godmode and 90 foot long cock
>>
>>610446016
replace army with lolis
>>
Create the largest gay orgy in the history of any world to prevent immigrants from the future from stealing our jerbs.
>>
Throw 12 sided die at satans head
>>
>>610446016
Sex Robb's body
>>
Lead army to heaven and kill God to become God himself
>>
Take army and storm kings landing to take the throne
>>
Jerk off again
>>
>>610446147
rolling
>>
>>610446208
Roll
>>
>DM Here

>>610446171
>Dick in Robb
>Acknowledge gender-fluidness
>Cries
>>
>>610446311
Tears bring Robb back to life, ride into sunset with my new waifu
>>
Kill robbs mother cause she is a whore
>>
Go kill all the dragons
>>
>>610446222
Triptastic!
>>
>DM Here

>>610446410
>Put penis in b/c she's a whore
>Kill b/c whore
>>
>>610446397
reroll
>>
>>610446478
End all memes
>>
>>610446397
rawlin
>>
Kill self to respawn as Finn with your friend jake
>>
Get paid get laid Gatorade
>>
>>610446548
rolling
>>
Play minecraft untill you die of hunger
>>
Put comb in ass
>>
Stick flaming dick in ice walker, make ice walker your botch, sodomise the little dwarf Lannister guy with giant eggplant dildo
>>
Find the nearest 4 babies and mount them on each of my shoulder spikes.
>>
comb hair with comb
>>
>>610446661
Winrang
>>
>>610446655
check 'em
>>
>DM Here

>>610446661
>No computer
>Attempt to play minecraft
>Punch tree
>Cry

>>610446681
>Pimp mode engaged

>>610446691
>Baddass mode engaged

>Ice walker joins party
>>
Rape dragon
>>
summon tarrasque
>>
Summon Bill Clinton
>>
SACRIFICE WHOLE TEAM FOR ALAH
>>
Sneak a look at DM's notes
Jerk off
>>
>>610446845
Use icewalker powers to revive Robb
>>
>>610447011
WIN
>>
Punch DM in the nuts.
>>
>>610446845
Fuck icewalker
>>
>DM Here

>>610447011
>Icewalker dies in name of Allah
>Sandnigger status achieved
>>
Pimp out ice walker for cash
Use cash to buy batmobile
>>
Solo kings landing
>>
>>610447157
Fuck dead icewalker
>>
>>610447157
Commit suicide and revive as 8 year old girl
>>
Use sandnigger status to get cozy with local raghead sultan. Steal sultan's cash. Buy batmobile
>>
>>610447271
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST NO
>>
>>610447271
HES BACK
>>
>>610447271
WINNNN
>>
>>610447271
Jerk off to self
>>
Start sucking own dick blind self with cum
>>
>>610447435
Rerolling
>>
>>610447271
Cut of dead selfs dick and wear as unicorn horn
>>
>DM Here

>>610447271
>Successfully Suicide
>Respawn as Arya Stark
>>
>>610447581
Google Arya Stark
>>
>>610447581
Grab needle and start killing bitchs
>>
Someone create new thread and continue there?
>>
>>610447525
Reroll
>>
>DM Here

>>610447621
>Google doesn't exist
Thread posts: 316
Thread images: 13


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