Has anyone actually had a "porn" scenario with delivery

Proceed

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>>609664074
This is so fucking fake... just saying, anyways please carry on.

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go on

>>609664074
keep going lad

>>609664074
>dinosaur

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mfw it's not deliver it's digioro

>>609664074
Am I the only one imagining the deli meat stank from her just getting off of work?

> mm mm mm, pastrami

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Hurry it up!!

>>609664074
>open and my heart almost stops
Easy on the protein shakes there, Zyxyxx

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Does a 300lb naked fat chick high on meth chasing your car out of her trailer park count? Because that happened.

>>609664074
This isn't a porn scenario with a delivery person you retard shit. This is just you meeting some girl that happened to work somewhere. God you're stupid.

>>609664074
OP is ugly as sin. girl was 3/10, 4/10 with make up dressed sluty. Nice try OP

Fake and gay

>>609665616
Tell us how you really feel.

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>ripping off each others clothes we're on the couch and feeling each other up
>she says that she can't believe shes doing this and its not like her
>tell her I've been thinking of her and wanting to fuck her ever since she first delivered to me
>she bites her lip and takes my dick out
>starts blowing me and I try not to cum so hard
>amazing head, great technique 10/10
>massaging my balls and everything
>bring back to eye level and make out some more
>take panties off and pick her up
>biceps be flaring yo
>she notices and comments that my arms are huge and sexy
>t-thanks you t-too
>slowly slip my dick in, her pussy is extremely wet and she lets out a gasp
>fucking her on the wall now, shes got her legs wrapped around me tightly, and heavy breathing.jpg
>faster, faster, faster just ramming my cock in her
>all over the apartment
>she begins to moan louder, I swear this is straight out of a porno, i was waiting for the bangbros to bust through my wall at any minute.
>her body is shaking and I slow down, she whispers that she came fucking hard
>bring it into the room and fuck her for a couple of minutes before busting
>cum all over her tits and face
>she looks like she wants more so I man the fuck up and stick it back in
>she asks if I want to rest
>fuck no baby Iam duke nukem
>round two I start rubbing her clit along with deep penetration
>cream is all over my cock, spurts of squirt start shooting out
>make her cum again
>says that shes so fucking horny but we agreed to take a shot and go all out
>bust out my best whiskey and we don them both completely naked
>realize this and we both chuckle and start making out again (she was a really good kisser, her tongue can do wondrous things)

>>609665379
>mm mm mm, pastrami
my sides

>>609665781
50 shades of grey, 4chan style

>>609665781
>kissing a girl right after she sucked your dick

I knew op liked the taste of dick

>>609665469
It's the pre-workout that'll get cha haha

>>609665781
Gonna go watch some low-production value porn. It's way more believable than this shit.

>>609665898
Hey summerfag

>>609666178
was there ever any doubt?

>>609666178
That pretty normal dude

>>609665469
kek

>decide fuck it, and just bang in the kitchen
>shes got one leg on the counter and the other around my waist while I hold her up and pound her
>start rubbing her clit again and she whimpers and squirts all over my cock again
>I was worried I might slip on her mess so I suggeest we go to the bathroom and fuck in the shower
>she agrees and we hop in
>water feels amazing while fucking (this was my first time fucking in the shower)
>both finish each other off by oral this time
>came in her mouth and she was hesitant to swallow but did it anyway, in the heat of the moment I guess
>tell her that we should take a break and lay down
>we snuggle and fall asleep

the morning after she blew me before she ran to work, now shes a fuck buddy of mine

The end? Or did anything ever happen after that?

>>609664074
Why are guys so impressed when they see a woman drinking a beer? Have never related to this

Should I start in with something more believable, or let thred die?

I don't know if I can write fast enough to keep up with /b/.

>>609666669
jesus CHRIST

>>609666885
usually they drink wine or just straight liquor, I think beer just makes them feel manly also they don't like the taste.

>>609666666
I came

>>609666669
My neger check em

>>609666932
OP here, this thread is for any and all stories, made up (like mine) or not so please go right the fuck ahead.

>>609666669
Holy fucking fuck

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>>609666932
Go ahead, I'll bump.

>>609667075
Women don't like the taste of beer? So you think men and women have different taste buds or something? You sound really stupid

>assistant manager
>Working at another location because someone was sick and holy shit double time $45 an hour.
>One of my cashiers is fucking useless.
>I yell at her half assedly because it's not my store and I'm filling in for someone who is sick. Upper management is probably just happy the store is open.
>Go back to office and continue drinking coke bottle that is half rum.
>She comes in. We flirt for about an hour.
>Get sucked off in the office.

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

>>609666669
Damn almost double trips elite

>>609666635
>rubs clit and squirts all over my cock
virgin pls

>>609667252
obviously not alot of people lie the taste of beer but this i one of the main reasons why the tend to stay away from it. Unlike guys they don't have to put up with the bad taste, guys do cause drinking beer is manly and if you don't you're considered a faggot

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>>609667311
>Believable, 6/10.
Needs a little more build up and content if you ask me.

>>609665781
fucking hell, you faggots don't even try to make it believable anymore

Coulda been porn i suppose. Close call? I was working as a cable installer a while back. Huge rich neighborhood. The kind with 10 bedrooms per house and a mercedees in every driveway. Anyway guy tells me he wants a box upstairs in his bedroom and one in the basement. Take care of bedroom first. Roll to the basement (owner is now out back with a weedwhacker or some shit.) I come down the stairs to see a woman chained to a st andrews cross. Gagged. In a catsuit unzipped with her tits out. Well ok then. Shes just staring at me. I set the box and canle down and go remove her gag. I ask her if shes up there of her own will. She says yes, thanks for asking. Its part of the game. Alright. I put the gag back in and went to do my thing with the install. Job done, back upstairs looking for a completion signature. Guy asks if i saw his wife downstairs and did she behave. What the fuck do i say to that? Told him i had no problems but he might want to take a towel down as she was drooling a bit. (She wasnt. Just said for lols.) He asked if i had some time if i wanted to come down and play with her. Well shit. Yes i do but i still had 5 more stops to go and it was already lunch time. Thanks for the offer but i gotta jet. They actually called my job to give me a good review for the visit. That almost never happens. Then of course i gotta tell my coworkers why.

>>609667508
>hes thinks the only way to make a girl squirt is to hit her g spot

>>609666666

I'm going here.

I was delivering for a major pizza chain 's a long time ago, delivered to an all black fraternity house where I guess they were having a party, tons of pizza whatever. I'm a slim white guy btw. The one bigger nigger said they didn't have a tip, but if I wanted we could smoke some weed in his room. I followed hI'm and his two nigger friends to the other room and while one of them.rolled a blunt, the other two were basically hitting on me, telling me I have girl legs and a smooth face, then one of them starts talking about my lips and it gets weird for a second. Anyway we smoked the blunt ingot high as fuck and stuck around for a little bit. They offered me a real tip if I could get off work and "come back and party with them" I obliged, and on the way out of the house i could feel these guys eye fuxking me. I went back to work said i didnt feel well clocked out, came back started drinking a little, got wasted quick and wound up basically getting gangbanged. sucked 5 cocks, took three up the ass, entire time basically had one in my Mouth and one in my ass, probably went on upward of 2 and a half hours. Without a doubt the biggest cock was probably twice as long as my cock and three maybe four times fatter. Two of them came in my ass and the other three came in my mouth/on face in hair.

I see these guys around town occasionally but never say anything to them, I would gladly do it again.


Mfw: my gf at the time.would have killed.me she also worked there with me

>>609667703
>not green text
>didnt read
thanx m8

>>609667703
hahhaha oh fuck I would not been able to control my laughter in front of him

Oh sorry. I guess green text is necessary to be a believable story...

>fuck no baby Iam duke nukem

fuckin lost it at that.

>>609666635
okay my virgin status persists however the last time anons recounted on shower sex they claimed the penis skips instead of gliding into the vagina as a result of the water. you saying it felt amazing controverts that claim. waiting on your defense faglord.

>>609667706
>he thinks all girls shoot fountains of liquid out of their pussies when the cum like in porn

>Didn't eat all day
>Migraine from a full day of butchering snipers in tf2 and calling faggots out for being retarded on /b/
>the aspirin does nothing, kill it with rum instead
>decide to order a pizza, a sandwich, and some chicken tendies from Dominos like the fat fuck I am
>Reorder Last Order
>Stare at the screen hating that Domino's claymation faggot who sits around waving at me while my fat ass waits for my tendies to finish cooking
>finally delivery
>remember that Trish is their Friday deliverer
>start to masturbate through unwashed sweatpants, getting all wheezy and sweaty in the crevices
>ding-dong
>FUCK WHERE DID THE TIME GO
>apply speed stick under clothes, try to bend erection down between legs, just make it harder, ding-dong again from the door, grab wallet and stumble over various possessions to answer door
>cont

>>609667810
>poor little white boy plot synopsis

>>609666573
>Liking the taste of dick is pretty normal

Yeah, to women and homosexuals.

>>609667703
>>609667810
>tfw newfags can't greentext

>>609667810
ok, you should of started out with
>hello, im a faggot
then i wouldent of been as suprised near the end

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Cont..
>one day she rings at the door again
>i hide my fedora under the bed and open the door
>she is in tears
>invite her in and comfort her..ask whats going on yo??!
>she says "i should have told this earlier but i am a trap"
>puke.jpg
>whaaaat?
>realize that i was drunk out of my mind on alcohol and cheap glue and never really saw her down there properly
>she takes out her 8" cock and starts slapping it in my face while i sit there perplexed about the situation
>suddenly i wake up!
>my pillow waifu is next to ne
>my fedora on my head
>katana sword under bed
>autism medicine on the night shelf
>itwasanightmare.jpg

>>609667810
>4/10, no green text but believable.
>Would've been. 9/10, but again, no green text.
>What a waste.

>>609668054
>spurts
lrn 2 reed bruh, also you're trying to rationalize a fake story, go to bed

>>609668313
>greenest is for faggits

>>609666635
Don't you have a couch or a bed?

>>609668395
>faggots*
>Do you need autocorrect?

>>609668363
well fuck that was way better than my story

>>609668050
anon, i can confirm shower sex is amazing, your friends have either never done it or have extremely small dicks

>>609668395
>greenest is for faggits
>greenest
>faggits
>Autism confirmed.

>>609666635
>I was worried I might slip on her mess so I suggeest we go to the bathroom and fuck in the shower
>she agrees and we hop in
>water feels amazing while fucking (this was my first time fucking in the shower)

OP confirmed virgin who likes to make up stories. Everybody who's had sex in the shower realises that it's actually fucking terrible, no matter what porn would have you believe.

>>609666635
>water feels amazing while fucking (this was my first time fucking in the shower)
confirmed for bullshit, fucking in water is less lubricating than an ISIS fighter holding a knife to your throat and a leafblower to you gf's pussy.

>>609668380
>start rubbing her clit again and she whimpers and squirts all over my cock again
>spurts
lrn2read faggot

>>609668622
I tried it once. Fucking impossible.
You cant get the angles, never end up inside her, if you do it hurts your dick like fuck.

>>609665272
this

>>609668622
Can confirm is awkward as fuck.

>>609668079
dont worry, ill do it for you
>grab casual fedora
>go to door
>big nigger at door, stare at his dick all the time
>wipe nacho cheese chip dust off 100 dollar bill
>nigger cant break it
>say "w-well maybe you can earn it"
>he gets the idea
>walks into house, tell mom to stay in the kitchen
>he see's all the bronie stuff,
>he's gone like the black flash, so the blash i guess
>oh well
>take 30 pounds of food downstairs and continue masturbating

>>609668622
True story! Sex in shower/pool is terrible, water doesnt lubricate at all in such situations, only makes it harder.

>>609668395
>greenest
>faggits
Fucking retard

Loch ness monster alert. Check it.

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>>609668363
i enjoyed this

>>609668622
>>609668050
OP here
anyone that has a bad experience in the art of shower sex has a small dick, or can't hump normal because I've had sex in the shower and it was pleasurable. While the story is fake, the shower part was a personal touch of mine.

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>>609665781
"
>she notices and comments that my arms are huge and sexy
>t-thanks you t-too
"
Also
>>609667695

>>609665781
> i was waiting for the bangbros to bust through my wall at any minute.

Topkek.

>>609668708
Noob

>>609667706
nice try OP

>>609664074
>be a delivery guy
>regularly deliver to same customers
>know many by first name
>mid 40s woman answer door in onesie
>see more than just cleavage
>she catches me and asks if I like
>I tell her hell yes and she asks me to take rest of delivery to the kitchen
>in kitchen she grabs my crotch and kisses me
>I finger her, she sucks my cock

>>609668827
>the blash

>>609668909
Once more you confirm your autism and endless virginity. Greetings to your waifu summerfriend!

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>>609664074

> did somebody order a pizza?

>>609668909
waters a terrible lubricant

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>>609669150
haha okay whatever you say man

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>>609669275
get the fuck out

>>609668079
>there's Trish, looking doughy and dour, 3/10 but would be a solid 5 (other than the love handles) without that shitty goth wannabe makeup.
>she looks me up and down speculatively, raising an eyebrow and a corner of her mouth into a sneer at the site of my obvious erection
>"Do you ever even leave this apartment?" she can't help but remark, eyes drifting over the last two weeks' Dominos boxes
>"No", I lie, looking down, "I...can't. It's dangerous."
>"What, you schizophrenic?" she mumbles
>Now I'm paying for the food, she's handing it over, counting it...her face lights up at the 18% tip
>This is my moment, lean forward knowing it has to be something believable, I can't overreach
>"I shouldn't be telling you this," I half-whisper, "but...witness protection program. This isn't a good place; I hope they relocate me soon."
>"Really?" the shock on her features is encouraging. "How...how long have you been in here?"
>"Long enough." An edge creeps into my voice and I go for my dick, openly jerking while looking at her face.
>"Look..."
>I flop it out of my pants with a devil-may-care, call-the-cops look in my eyes
>"Hey man, don't do that, this is depressing. Look...$20 and I'll come in and jerk you off."
>I nod and shut the door as soon as she steps inside, setting the food on the table. I sit down in the chair and remove my pants entirely as she kneels next to me, biting into some lovely tendies as her thin moist lips and doughy hands wrap around my cock
cont... :^)

>>609668909
Or doesn't enjoy every tiny leaking bit of jizz fucking sticking fast to EVERYTHING, you virgin.

>>609668363
>nightmare
please, that sounds like a dream to this guy

>>609668670
Confirmed
Unless she's 8 feet tall or folded in half prepare for akward leg burning squat position too

>>609664074
>(dis dyack)

op u my hero brah

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>>609668909
>can't hump normal

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>>609664074
>mfw she just wanted the pepperoni delight

ITT:novel writers working on their next sex book scene or whatever, the point is all this thread is bullshit.

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>>609664074
>call nicolas cage
>tell him to deliver a pizza to my place with extra sausage
>laugh with my retard friends on skype
>two hours later someone knocks on my door
>pretty much forgot about the call, goes to open the door
>black man, a bit under seven feet tall 350 pounds of fat and muscle
"You gay son?"
>What?
"Imma teach you gay!"
>Chases me around my house, when I finally get to my room where my gun is, he reaches me.
"You lil sissy bitch I bet you led me to the bedroom because you want this"
>With his one hand around my throat he brutally undresses me and fucks me in the ass

real story, not OPs bullshit:

> go to a local shop for coffee
> their slogan is something dumb like "home of the velvet foam"
> cute coffee barista girl at the counter
> ask her what velvet foam is
> she starts making a jerking off motion and say "I don't know, what do you think?"
> laugh it off, order my coffee
> she asks if I'm new in town
> tell her I've been here a few years just not that into coffee
> she asks if I'm doing anything later (what?!) and I say no
> she writes her number on my cup and says "see you later"

> later:
> meet up for drinks
> walk her home through a park
> she grabs me and we make out
> go back to her place and fuck

> weeks go by, she texts me "if you're not busy tonight, maybe we should be busy together" or something like that... so we hook up again

> mfw she's a freak and will be down to fuck at the snap of a finger.

> last banged over 1yr ago, still friends on facebook, no drama, weird as fuck

PS she looks like young alanis

PS2 I found out she was a virgin when we met up

PS3 I'm dating someone else now

>>609669573
>be you
>cant write worth shit
>so you critisize others because of your lack of sorry telling

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>>609668079
>>609668827
>>609668363

>>609669638
wait, whats the connection to nicolas cage and anigger?

>>609667508
Not every girl squirts the same way

hy

>>609669645

oh also PS4 we'd still be dating but I'm a "nice guy" and broke it off because I had a huge crush on a slightly more attractive girl (who turned me down when I asked her out)

didn't want to come crawling back looking like an idiot. but had I not dumped her like a jerk, we'd prob still be dating.

I used to be a delivery "boy," and this one night I delivered a pizza and my History teacher was standing there naked and REALLY drunk. She didn't seem to recognise me and invited me inside where there were 3 more naked women and I just took the money and left. I know, how beta.

>>609669791
hyhy

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>>609668363
So good it brought me out of lurking

At least did you drink the protein shaker or let the catabolism catch you?

>>609669645
>claiming not bull shit
>posts pure bull shit

>>609669854
>he didn't fuck them right in the pussy
you are literally gayer than liberache

kill urself my man

>>609669645
>PS2

I thought you meant playstation 2


much disappoint