ITT: Send people in you contacts "Why haven't we fucked

I will do it if Ur still here

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*your

>>608887410
just do it faggot

> because im your mom.
dam

>>608888372
kek

>>608886868
>Ex GF
"I'd consider it if you would answer your goddamned phone when I called you"

>Friend from class
"I never would have guessed you were interested. Are you drunk?"

>Some chick I hate but have to deal with to see my friend from high school
"Are you fucking high? After how you talk to me you think you call pull this bullshit?"

>Female co-worker
"because i've got anon, and because when I tried at the Christmas party last year you didn't flirt back"


I did this last night for the thread then, but it died before I got replies.

>>608886868
I only do things like this at night, so people think I'm drunk

>>608887687
Response omg are u serious? I can't belie've u asked me this.
Me: ok bitch I'll fuck someone else
Her: Ohh shit Ur serious fuck ye. Please. fuck me

(slut twin of twin older sister's of a slut I just spoke to and made out with straight away)
don't u wish I was lying.

>>608887538
*you're

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>>608890419
...

>>608886868
snap name ?

>>608889522
Your lies are even more pathetic than yourself.

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>>608891095
Yeah

>>608890419
Summer isn't for another few months. Fuck off.

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Me: Why haven't we fucked yet?
Mum: excuse me?

>>608890419
>slut twin of twin older sister's of a slut..
Wow..

What if the girls I have on facebook are either relatives or I have previously fucked?

>>608892177
Then man the fuck up

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yeah what are the rules on this, just anyone in my contacts?

>>608891473
yeah bullshit

>>608892177
Stop being such a bitch

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>Text best mate "why haven't we shagged yet?" for bantz
>Texts pic of his hairy arsehole
>mfw

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>>608892473

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>>608890419
Can you try saying that again

>>608886868
ava marie?

>>608891110
absolutely this

>>608891110
her: when are u free next wink face
just to be a sick cunt (feel free to call me a faggot dispute the pussy it gets pussy)
me: It IS sexier when it's not planNed
Her: ok(submissive knows her place)
her what are you doing
Me(lazy as fuck): I'm actually in the gym now
Her: damn I should probably go to the gym
: take my time to respond
she thinks I'm getting ripped when I'm just shitting and utube
Me: fucken oath Ur fat as fuck
Her: :( soo pocket
meh not a slutty convo but I'm trying to be her fantasy

>So why haven't we fucked yet?
>we haven't for numerous reasons that aren't likely to change lol

Damn....super hot mild too

>>608892838
>fucken oath

Gee, where could you possibly be from.

Haha, I sent this to ALL my contacts by mistake. Was trying to edit them down by first selecting all then was going to uncheck certain ppl but hit send by mistake. I'm going to have to say someone hacked me or something to some of them but I responded to a few already.
Old friend haven't talked to in ages (this is odd because we have fucked) - 'Misty': haha what?
me: just answer the fucking question
Misty: wtf? who is this?
me: oops wrong number

My sister: ... no response yet ...
My neice: ... no response yet ...
My mom: ... no response yet ...
My friend's 11 year old daughter: ... no response yet ...
My male friend since childhood (Josh): you're not my type
me: dick not big enough for you?
Josh: yeah i need that thick black cock
me: damn :(
Josh: lol ur not serious
me: what? I thought you could tell by the way I stare at you all the time.
Josh: lol
me: at least let me blow you.
Josh: no thanks
me: man, it's just a blow job. jesus. I thought you were a bro.
Josh: lol i think u need to adjust your meds
me: your dick, my mouth, tonight. [your wife] never needs to know.
Josh: ok enough fucking around i'm busy
me: call me when you are ready.

Male friend #2 (Gary): ... no response yet ...
Female friend who is friend's wife's sister and hot, 26 years old: wow i never knew you had it in you to ask something like that
me: wow i never knew you wanted it in you for me to ask something like that
her: LOL
her: ok
me: Okay, as in, yes please fuck me like I've never been fucked before?
her: LOL
her: I got to see if you have the balls to go through with it or not ;)
me: Oh, I do and you WILL see them (and feel them on your chin)
her: LOL
her: come over Friday night ;)
me: You mean tomorrow?
her: yesss
me: I'll be there. Wash that pussy before I arrive.
her: LOL
her: I don't believe you
me: You'll be walking funny all weekend.
her: LOL
her: we'll see.

Around 45 other contacts ... no response yet ...
some of these are work related and some are home phones so no text.

>>608893282
>my mom
ya fukt up anon

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>>608893282
>my friend's 11 year old daughter

>>608892329
>>608892362
So fuck your relatives?

>>608893093
So they finally made a super hot mild.

That's good, I like hot but hate spicy.

>>608892838
Sickest cunt ayy mate.

>>608893556
Y-yeah anon, I-I didn't mean it l-like that *hover hands the air and makes cat sounds* I ment M-milf. But it was th-the auto correct

>>608893282
This may have gotten me laid by a rather hot chick. I can't believe she basically said yes. I thought she was a slut but didn't think she would find me attractive enough. I still don't know if she actually will. She doesn't think I will show up but I'm going to.

>>608893926
>>608893556
It is actually a really good way to categorise women.
Bland
Mild
Hot Mild
Hot
Super hot mild
Super hot

>>608894145
What are landwhales?

>>608894145
Y-yea......

>>608894217
off the scale as always

"Why haven't we fucked yet?"

"go away"

>>608888372
Didn't stop Matt

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ALRIGHT GUYS im going to message this to this girl I know at a gym i go to wish me luck

>>608894217
Oily

>>608894536
Message this girl you go to the gym at for us.

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>>608890419
Little high are we?

Marinags98 <<Snapchat

OP here

Why are you people so retarded? Post pictures of you chat screens you fucking dimwits.

>>608894690
Ahahaha how did you know. I'm actually sobering down

>>608886868
Gay friend:
"Why haven't we fucked yet?"
"Because I have taste."

:(

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What do I win?

>>608895180
Freedom from this place.

If I had contacts to send this to maybe I could participate

>>608895180
Kekked

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>>608895180

me: why haven't we fucked yet?
her: I told you... once a year.

fuck my marriage

Me: why haven't we fucked yet?
Her: Cosa??
>TMW i realize i only have italian contacts

>>608888888 checked

>>608893926
Fuck you you stupid fucking faggot. Everything about you pisses me off and I fucking hate you. Get off of the internet and never come back. I'm sick of seeing dumb fucking faggots like you infesting the internet with your dumb fucking shit.

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>>608896042

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>>608894312
Under-rated post.

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Im pretty sure im getting some pussy 2nit

>>608896552
Ask her to please reconsider your offer please.

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>>608890681

>>608895976
saranno pure italiani ma o è un "cosa??" inteso come "che cazzo?!?" o ha vissuto in una di cantina tutto questo tempo...è inglese, dio mio, mica astrofisica

>>608896552
kek

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This doesn't fucking work

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>>608886868

>>608896042
<2010+8-4+2-1
<Still can't take a joke

>>608896042
loll

>>608897958
kikkity

>>608897775
dat pussy phat