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>discreetly picks nose

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 231
Thread images: 23

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>discreetly picks nose
>>
>glance at someone. They notice me glancing at them. Look away quickly.
>>
>coughs to cover up fart
>hope no one notices that smell
>>
>try to ignore annoying little nigglet running around while their single mom pays no attention.
>>
>>607087980
>try to not make eye contact with the chick wearing the short skirt.
>>
>MR. SMITH, THE DOCTOR WILL SEE YOU ABOUT YOUR GONORRHEA NOW.
>>
>>607088150
>Who the hell is eating eggs?
>>
> ahem
>>
>start furiously masturbating at the sight of a mother with her infant child
>>
>>607088207
>trip little nigglet when no one is watching
>>
>mutter about the jews
>>
>make big fart into small but continuous burst of farts while pressing asshole solidly on the seat cushion so that no smell can go out.
>>
>Checks phone for 17th time for absolutely no reason.
>>
>>607087980
>sniffles
>tissue box is on the other side of the room
>fidget
>sniffle again
>>
>>607088207
>see baby staring at me
>smile hoping it smiles back
>still blankly stares at me
>awkwardly turn away
>>
>make small coughing noises every now and then just because nothing's happening. I don't have a cough
>>
>descreetly put ur hands into ur pants, touch penis then proceed to smear the cum rests on your chair
>>
>check phone to see how my Kristen Schaal thread is doing on 4chan
>do I an hero here? No to nice of carpet
>>
Walks into room
oh hi op
op looks at me in the eye with faggoty eyes of op i ness
i take off my trousers to reveal my legs made of penises and each hand of my foot is a penisses
op looks stunned
my penis foot finger penises start to piss out poo and vomit mixed as i walk towards op
it looks like silly string
op starts imediatly jizzing so much that his head explodes because op head is also a penis cause he dick head
poo everywhere in little poo strands of string
there also a baby and a my little pony coverd in poo
op dies in room
i walk out and reveal i am lock ness monster standing at about trwee hundredd atoms high
high
high is from weed that was smoked

tl:dr the window sill paint is dripping onto the pipe because umbrellas sunlight is too near
>>
>checks watch
>*cough cough
>look at clock
>>
>>607088351
/thread
>>
>audio from a youtube video about the symptoms of gonorrhea plays because i forgot to plug in my headphones
>>
>don't know how to use green text, just put arrow in front of text and hope it works
>>
>>607088452
>whisper quietly, "that was weird"
>old lady in the corner hears and nods with approval
>>
>...and the victory is epic
>>
>>607087980
Sorry, my kid isn't usually this noisy :^)
>Proceeds to text on phone without doing anything to stop the child.
>>
>pull out phone
>navigate menus for 20 minutes
>>
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>Zone the fuck out till I notice I'm creeping someone out while I stare at them
>>
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>>607088512
>I look up from the noise and examine the people in the room for the first time. You look familiar.
>MFW I realize why it burns when I pee
>>
> ask the nigger's mom if she has seen my grenade. i had it just a moment ago.
>>
>black kid starts crying
>black mom beats kid with shoe
>try to ignore it
>>
ACHOO!
>>
Try not to pull out my 9mm and kill everyone in the room
>>
>>607088251
>Looks around for a few seconds
>Awkwardly walks to the door.
>>
>>607088605
>glares at you for remainder of the wait because you spoke
>>
>Lady allows loud, obnoxious, half retarded child to roll around literally on my feet under my chair, have to almost sit with my legs up in the air. Stare at her. Nothin. Cough. Nothin. Ok. Put legs down, swift little kick to kids head. OH man, did you pinch ur skin in there little guy, ohhhh man. I bet that hurt little buddy. Little bastard stayed on the other side of the room after that.
>child abuser blah fucking blah, hey, you go to a waiting room with a 104 temp, sick as fuck and deal with that shit better than I did. Bet to this day the little fucker has a flat spot on the back of his head.
>>
Play with the wires with shapes on them
>>
just grab a magazine and read something you uneducated faggots
>>
>lift eyes up
>look into someone eyes
>sudden scare of having a stroke
>look back at the floor
>>
>>607088764
Bless you
> yawns
>>
>>607088693
>notice some random guy staring at me
>lol is that the guy i gave gonorrhea to?
>>
>It is time
>whip out swastika banner
>WE HAVE ALL GATHERED HERE FOR ONE PURPOSE
>WHO IS WITH ME?
>>
>>607087980

>guy next to me is in his late 20's
>playing his 3DS with the sound all the way up

mutter, "Jesus Christ" to myself
>>
>>607088296

>sitting right next to you, grab your hand tightly while i perform the same task while looking endearingly into your eyes
>>
>walk to front desk
"I just want to make sure you havent forgotten about me?"
>stare at recptionist
>>
>try to make small talk with cute girl in summer dress
>you c-come here often haha
>>
>cellphone rings "Bzzz Bzzz"
>pick up and answer with a low voice
>"Hello..... yes..... Still inside?.... Just pull it out"
>hang up and cover my bloody left arm stump
>cough a little
>>
>>607087980
Doctor walks in. Shouts for another patient
>>
>>607088883
>too complicated
>back to /b/
>>
>>607089017
Thank you
>cant prevent my self from yawning after seeing the yawn
>>
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>Grab the Highlights magazine and circle all the scavenger hunt items in ink.
>>
>>607089061

>Look up from my desk.
"Did you fill out the forms?"
>>
>loudly discuss why Im waiting there
>>
>Yells allahu akhbar!
>Blows up suicide bombs
>Kills everybody in the waiting room
>Thread ends
>>
>>607089201

>still doesn't find all of them.
>>
>>607089201
I hate you. Fuck you asshole
>>
>>607089180
>look around the entire room is yawning
>>
>faint sound of a home phone ringing from one of the doctor's offices
>ends after six or so seconds, you're not too sure, you were busy counting the leaves on that fern
>>
>baby stares at me for 2 solid hours without blinking
>>
>>607089275
>Yawn
>>
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>>607089041
"YAHOOO!"
"Whooooo"
"Ding, Ding, Diiiing, Diiiiiiiiin,"
"Dunna dun dun duna dund un"
"Wvhoooosh"
"Yaheeee"
>>
>>607087980
>play my PS vita
>>
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>listens to my headphones
>smokes my e-cig blowing big clouds into the air above us
>spreads my legs wide and burps loudly daring anyone to challenge my alpha status
>>
*grabs newspaper and pretends to read*
>>
>>607089275
>yawn.
>>
>>607089420
shit forgot where I was for a second

>grabs newspaper and pretends to read
>>
>trying not to cry over my hemorrhoids
>>
>>607089432
>Yawn
>godammit
>>
>>607089041
>face turns red as i lower 3ds volume
>>
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Silently takes creepshot.
>>
>Take highlights magazine
>Write "Dick Cheney made money off the Iraq War" in ink
>Also write various curse words and penises everywhere
>>
>>607089275
>yawn
>leg stretch
>light sound of jeans smoothing against the leather chair
>>
>>607088365
>smile at baby
>it freaks out and screams bloody hell
>>
>>607089471
Are those the butt things?
The last two years I bleed out of my ass everytime I take a shit.
I need to see a doctor but I hate doctors cuz I got anxiety.
>>
>>607089526
>I think that guy just took a creep shot
>nice
>>
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> Tries to hide the pain.
>>
>>607089041

>secretly wish I was autistic enough to do the same
>>
>>607089378

>playing an imported H-game
>sound on
>no headphones
>only two chairs left to sit in are flanking you
>four people choose to stand
>one of them is a mother that has a deathgrip on their young child's hand pretending not to see you
>>
>Peeking at some faggot whom counts the leaves on the fern
>>
>>607089526
>see guy take a creepshot
>silently chuckle to myself
>>
>>607089613
>The last two years I bleed out of my ass everytime I take a shit.
Have you been browsing 4chan for the past two years? It may be a case of butthurt.
>>
>put headphones
>toggle [random] in the tchakovsky/chopin list
>smile like a sadist as none knows what the fuck to talk about to each other
>>
>scratches nutsack
>quickly glances over to see if anyone watched
>>
>to fat for chairs
>feel really uncomfortable
>>
>>607089683
>peek this
>*unzips dick*
>>
>>607089526

>notice guy taking a creepshot
>Think to myself "I hope that shit gets uploaded somewhere"
>>
>>607087980
Surf on /b hope no one sees my screen as i click on traps
>>
>>607089041
>I'm 19 and I do this is there any hope for me?
>>
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>>
>>607088877
Good man
>>
>looks at everyone and sighs
>"they're taking forever today, huh?"
>>
"How about this weather?"
>anon next to me looks like is going to say something back
>>
>>607089526
more
>>
>>607089789
>>607089812
>see two manchildren sitting adjacent to one another, fondling their own crotches
>>
>screams to the top of his lungs

DOES ANYONE HERE HAVE ILLEGAL DRUGS TO SHARE????????
>>
>See everyone yawning
>myworkhereisdone.jpeg
>>
>>607089723
I have... but that is just a coincidence.
I do get mad here sometimes tho.
>>
>>607089888
>blank face at this fucking edgelord
>>
>>607089890
"Jet fuel can't melt steel beams."
>>
>>607088207
>not having Legos in your waiting room
>>
>Ask: Has Anyone Really Been Far Even as Decided to Use Even Go Want to do Look More Like?
>>
>>607087980
Hey man is this chair free? I have hemorroids and I need to sit down, it hurts a lot. Oh, and do you have the time? I think I came late...is Dr. Ching Chong so busy?
>>
>>607088285
He sees YOU HAVE BEEN SPOTTED
child starts crying
>>
>try to discretely scratch my balls, welfare mom with 5 kids notices, wide eye glares at me, stare back at her, scratching vigorously
>>
>>607089888
>Face of impatience
>"Yup..."
>>
>>607089526
>Tries to make one for himself completely forgetting the shutter sound is still on.
>>
>>607089986
Are you here for your tooth hurty appointment?
>>
>>607089275
>scratch balls
>yawns
>>
>>607089918
Shh!
>>
>Pulls gun out
>"ALLAHU AKBAR!"
>>
>run fingernail along chair cushion
>zzzzzzzzzzpp
>focus on the sound
>don't realize I've been nervously "zzzzzzzpp-ing" for like five fucking minutes

[zzzzpp-ing accelerates]
>>
>>607089963
>wtf
"Yeah, I guess."
>get back on my phone surfing illuminati websites
>>
IM GONNA PISS
>>
>>607090139
Shh!
>>
>>607089834

>See guy expanging images in a trap thread
>Knock phone out of his hand and everyone sees
>>
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>play with this thing when all alone.
>stop when someone else walks in.
>>
>>607090174
Shh!
>>
>masturbates heavily while walking trough the room
>>
>>607088671
>Wonder why that creepy guy is staring at me pretend not too notice but I think deep down he knows I know
>>
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>lights up a blunt

>>607090010
>see my child has fallen
>call him over to me
>let him hit the blunt
>he chills out
>>
>>607088452
>i take off my trousers to reveal my legs made of penises and each hand of my foot is a penisses
>reveal my legs made of penises and each hand of my foot is a penisses
>each hand of my foot is a penisses
>each hand of my foot
>is a penisses

I never know what the fuck is going on in this fucking room
>>
>>607090146
>is this guy for real
>im going to say something
>
>>
>>607090054
Did you just take a picture of me?
>>
>>607087980
>*achoo*
>....
>*ACHOOOO*
>touches everything with sneezed on hands
>>
>>607090182
>Sits back down with a face of anger.
>>
>>607090049
...ha...ha....not usually like this is it
>>
>I hope no one notices my erection
>>
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*gurgles*
>>
>>607090332
Moar...?
>>
>sexy little girl in waiting room
>try not to look at her
>>
>>607090070
>>607090070
>Hehe that was another history. I'm here due to my painful hemorroids. What about you? You look you have cancer hehe
>>
Yawn
>seriously who started this yawning shit
>>
>>607090332
I WANNA FUCK YOUR ASS TILL IT BLEEDS

WOULD YOU MARRY ME I HAVE 3 CATS IN MY BASEMENT MY MOM DOES GREAT SPAGGETHI ON THE SATURDAYS
>>
>>607090415
>trying so hard not to stare at the retarded boy
>>
>Pretend we don't all notice the drug addict furiously tapping foot and singing to himself
>>
>>607090196
>wtf.gif
>to each their own I guess
>>
>>607090415
>scoots away
>>
>>607090130
>Ahem, Sir, Sir, 'scuse me.
>Hushed tone "Would you like to speak to a nurse about a medical or person problem 1 on 1 today?
>>
>>607090522
>"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT!"
>>
>>607090423
Sure.
>>
>waiting room in an aggressive cycle of yawning
>can't take it anymore as it makes me want to reposition myself, aching my hemorrhoids
>consider the relation of yawning to werewolves, hoping to find the original yawner so I can provide a silent take down with my katana
>>
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>jerks off into plant
>>
>>607089906
"H-Hey man, you have any medicine for my balls? They're always itchy"
>>
>>607090491
>why is this 12 year old talking like this
>bad parenting I guess
>looks the other way
>is that guy yawning? No no no...
YAWN
>>
>>607090568
>"Whoa, just take it easy man."
>>
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>>607090445
>>
>>607090568
Shh!
>>
>>607090332
>Uhm Eh I Uh was trying to call my mom.
>>
>yawn
>stretches
>knock over girl's purse
>dragon dildo rolls out onto the floor
>>
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>>
>>607090305
>pretends not to notice the dirty nigger sitting in the room doing his usual niggerish activities
>>
>take out flip phone
>dial 6-9-6-9
>a few seconds later, an explosion and screams are heard in the distance
>smile gently
>walk up to receptionist
>"Can you please inform me where the closest dumpster is? My ex keeps texting me and I wanna throw out this phone where I'll never find it."
>>
>>607090717
>"Sits back down to the terrorist with a face of anger."
>>
>Walk into room
>Look for a free seat
>There is none
>Look down in disappointment and stand awkwardly by a wall.
>>
>>607087980
>sound of rustling newspaper intensifies
>>
>>607090415

>what could possibly be worse than being retarded? Why bring it in public?
>just fucking feed it and hope it runs into traffic.
>jesus christ I can't imagine living a life with a fucking re--

"Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?"

"Oh, no, go right ahead!"

"Thank you"

>Jesus christ and it smells, they always smell...
>>
>go to /b/
>make a "lol just got on the weirdest office ever, dubs decides what i shout" thread
>>
>>607090721
>head explodes as conundrum of needing to yawn and laugh at the same time cannot violate physics
>>
>watch a funny video on my phone
>pee a little while trying to contain giggles
>it leaves a visible stain on my pants
>>
>>607090642
>count how many leaves the cum drips down onto
>>
>>607090821
>"Standing wanker!"
>>
>>607090568
>try to calm furious junkie down
>>
>walk in
>look for a seat that is more than one seat away from someone else
>none
>forced to have to sit next to someone
>>
>>607090415
>discretely hold breath as i walk past tard
>>
>start listening to some dope hio hop music with my big ass headphones loud as f
>>
>drop kick the receptionist
>>
>>607090840
>sees thread on 4chan
>post "jet fuel cant melt steel beams."
>get doubles
>>
>>607090840
>browsing /b/
>find a "lol just got on the weirdest office ever, dubs decides what i shout" thread
>haha, top kek
>rolls for "WILL THE REAL SLIM SHADY PLEASE STAND UP"
>>
>>607091023
>"1... 2... 3!"
>>
>>607090754
>damn these hemorrhoids hurt but at least i aint that..
>feelbetteraboutmyself.jar
>>
>>607090839
>Mother starts introducing child to you gurgles at you and she expects you to reply
>>
>>607090821
>Look into the vague direction of the sound
>Look back down to the floor
>Look through the window
>Look back down to the floor.
>Adjust standing position.
>Continue standing awkwardly.
>>
>takes out 50 inches long butplug
>unzips pants
>quietly sticks that shit in my ass
>pretends no one's watching while trying not to scream in pleasure
>quietly stares at the only girl in the room
>>
>Look at girl that walks in
>She sits next to me
>H-h-hi
>Hey
>I'm not here about any STDs haha
>"I can tell"
>Mfw she gets up and sits somewhere else
>>
>>607091023
>watch man collapse over desk after knocking the receptionist upside the head with his boot
>complete silence
>>
>well I see the yawning stopped.
>thank god
>>
i just visited my dealer before going to the doc so i got 15g weed in my pocket
>sit down next to some mother and his kid
>>
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>get up and grab a drink from the machine
>finish
>look around and can't see a bin for the plastic cup
>ask the receptionist if there's a bin somewhere
>She says no and then continues typing on the computer
>I'm standing there with a plastic cup in the middle of the room and everyone's looking at me
>"Ookaaay" I uttered, in a somewhat confused manner, not expecting that response from the receptionist who offered no solution to my plight
>a second or two has now passed as I attempt to think of a solution
>all I can think about is the fact it's now been two seconds and if I leave it any longer people are going to think I'm weird
>it's been three seconds while I think about people thinking about me
>oh god
>oh god
>oh god
>"I think there's a bin outside, a bit down the road" a woman from the other side of the room shouted
>my saviour, she brings an end to my agony
>I leave to find the bin
>walk down the road 30 seconds, can't find it
>surely I should've found it by now
>look around, can't see it
>if I take longer people are going to think something's wrong
>"Fuck it" I throw it in the bush
>Go back inside to waiting room and sit
>finally relaxed
>name is called, I go inside, all is well
>leave just after someone else
>they go in the direction of the cup
>passes the bush
>look to the side
>obviously sees cup
>looks back at me
>laughs audibly for a few seconds
>continues walking and shaking their head

That was the last time I ever went to the doctors office.
>>
>>607091249
>girl walks over to my seat and sucks my dick
>unsure what to do
>repeatedly scream "WOW!"
>>
>>607091249
>>
>gets up to sign papers at front desk
>someone takes my seat
>awkwardly stand by the front desk for 20 minutes until my name is called
>>
>niggers run in with ak47s and start screaming for no reason fail at greentext
>>
Go up to the receptionist. When s/he asks if you have an appointment,
look wildly around and start whispering the word `appointment?’ under
your breath. Then scream it, and jump out a window.
>>
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>>607089841
>no
>>
>>607091297
Mother and kid walk away
>>
>drop kick the receptionist again
>>
>>607091133

This

>she knows we're all pretending her kid doesn't exist
>why can't we all just be civilized human beings and lock the kid in the basement like in the 1930's?
>>
>audible sigh
>flick of a magazine
>>
>YAAAWWWN
>>
>50chairs
>anon sits on one
>fat granny comes
>sits down next to anon
>anon farts
>>
>¥awn
>>
>>607091297

>literally everyone can smell you
>>
Trad stars crying at no reply mother looks at you disgusted granpa whispers you should be ashamed trad spits all over you and bites you mother leaves saying how you upset him
>>
>two men have flown over the receptionist's desk, rocking her skull with a firm kick to the head
>complete silence as they've seemingly vanished

>yawn
>>
>wonders why there are so many people here
>stares at floor
>>
>>607091609
>yawn
>motherfucker
>>
>>607091725
>yawn
>>
>slightly move my chair
>makes a fart noise
>try to replicate the noise again so that they don't think I actually farted
>>
>yawn
>audible sigh
>>
>is that guy reading my info as I fill out the forms?
>>
>feel awkward when i just sat down and my name is called before everyone else who has been there for an hour.
>smirk slightly as i walk out.
>>
Become really offended at everything doctor says. After a while, start
saying, `Whatever you say, Doctor Jerk
>>
fucking stop yawning niggers ffs
>also someone call the police someone smells like weed
>>
>Look towards the receptionists desk
>See two men kicking her
>Look down at my feet
>Glance at the desk again
>Oshitoshitoshit
>THE MEN HAVE VANISHED
>Keep cool.
>Kneel and pretend to tie my shoes before standing up again.
>>
>>607091725
>yawn
goddamnit i yawned irl too
>>
>>607091928
>fart in leather seat
>makes a fantastic "PRLAP" noise
>>
>an assortment of chairs in the room
>sit down
>group comes in and sits next to you
>awkwardly have to grab an old magazine to position yourself away
>batteries on gameboy color just happen to die
>old as fuck PC Gamer
>spending thousands on a shit pc
>stare at carpet, following the patterns
>try to zone out with cellphone
>realize I have no games
>no reception

>>607091928
>never able to recreate the sound
>everyone thinks you farted
>>
>walks in room
>late
>hope no one notices
>need to cough but don't want to draw attention
>>
>>607091928

>can't
>say "It was the chair"
>"Oh I'm sure it was"
>they laugh
>>
>sitting between weed guy and retard with mom
>look at questionnaire
>are you, or have you ever been depressed
>check yes
>>
File: 1427660789114.gif (569KB, 640x636px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
1427660789114.gif
569KB, 640x636px
>Jumps on floor, siezing.

>Everyone in shock.

>a small unattended niglet approaches.

>sensing danger, I suddenly rip off my pants and masturbate furiously.

>Niglet runs away to his single mother, who is visibly turned on, but too afraid to do anything about her burning desire.

>The doctors office security comes in through the door.

>the floor is made of tile.

>they try to grab me.

>the jokes on them i coated myself in Vaseline before I came here.

I slip out of their grasp, slipping wildly all over the floor.

>sense the end is near, begin shitting.

>hard.

>skidmarks all over the floor.

>Slide into the wall

>This is the end

>there is no other choice but to put me down.

>the security guards draw their automatic railguns, and shoot at me repetitively.

>they miss

>while they reload their guns, I take the sharpie from the lady at the front desk.

>jam it up my pooper.

>The guards have finished reloading, by now, but it doesn't matter.

>turn 360 degrees, and try to walk out of the waiting room.

>the guards don't care. They've already made up their minds.

>They shoot me in the head as I try to moonwalk out.

>my corpse slips into a pile of shit and spaghetti, that was dropped from the niglet's mothers pockets.

Where were you when I was kill?
>>
>make accidental fart noise
>try to do it again
>everyone thinks you farted
>>
>>607091928
>>607092081
>everyone erupts into a high laughter, including the tard, over this retard who farted in his seat

>>607092147
>everyone laughing too vehemently to acknowledge man dying on floor
>>
>>607091934
>yawn
>eyes water a little bit
>im kinda sleepy
>>
>COUGH loudly
>>
>>607091928

>look at guy who just made a fart sound
>think "it was probably just the chair"
>desperately want it to be a fart
>start giggling for some reason
>>
>>607092107
>ayy bro you down for a smoke?
>>
>Laugh inside as a kid opens the Highlights magazine that i already wrote in.
>>
>Continue standing by my beloved wall
>No one seems to notice me
>>
Try not to laugh as tyrone tries to sell his mixtape
>>
MY WATER JUST BROKE!
>yawn
>>
>>607092361
>Hey look at that weird guy standing against that wall as if he owns it
Probably thinks nobody notices him
>>
>>607092474
shh!
>>
>>607092361
>stand next to the awkard guy near the wall
>palms are sweating, maintain eye contact with the door
>>
File: image.jpg (25KB, 277x314px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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>>607087980
>walk into waiting room
>see qt
wew lad
>>
>fart
>start sweating while trying not to shit my pants
>stare people in the eyes the whole time
>activate fart-semi-automatic machine gun
>>
>>607092361

>some guy just came in
>didn't even check in
>isn't in line to check in
>is just fucking standing there
>Is something about to go down?
>walk up to receptionist and bring it to her attention
>>
>>607091106
> stand up and shout "Hey, sorry people, just lost a bet, so... WILL THE REAL SLIM SHADY PLEASE STAND UP?!?
>Quickly sits down blushed, looking down
>>
>>607092553
>wow that guy has cancer bad
>realize he's not a guy just one of those kids that age really fast
>>
>offer the woman who just walked in my seat.
>whiteknight.jpg
>>
>>607092298

>"Hmm? I? Oh, no, thank you though."
>how can I write an SOS message in this thing?
Thread posts: 231
Thread images: 23


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