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Hi /b/. Pilotfag here. Gonna be co-pilot on a plane from Barcelona

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 280
Thread images: 21

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Hi /b/. Pilotfag here. Gonna be co-pilot on a plane from Barcelona to Düsseldorf tomorrow. 69 decides what i do. Will deliver.
>>
fly to dusseldorf pls
>>
Grab mic: ' This is co-pilot Anon. There is absolutely no fault with our engines! I repeat, there is no danger at all, no problems whatsoever with the engines!'
That'll scare the shit out of your passengers.
>>
>>606166236
crash it fag
>>
Keep asking the pilot if he has to go to the bathroom, or check the back of the plane or something.
>>
>>606166236
Make the plane land in Dresden instead.
>>
Suck the pilots dick, faggot.
>>
Shit in the pilot's hat when he's not looking
>>
>>606167100
reroll
And also claim that Dresden is more fun.
>>
Do a flip
>>
>>606166236

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=eF4iX9gDhjE
>>
>>606167172
Rerolling
>>
>>606167262
>>
Do a barrel roll.
>>
>>606167346
>>
Trigger disco ball, turn on disco music, take selfies then crash in Switzerland.
>>
>>606166997
Kek, thatd be funny
>>
>>606167100
THIS
Except in Luxembourg City. If not possible, Hamburg
>>
>>606166236
go to the ISIS stronghold and make everyone convert
>>
fly to paris to steal their art
>>
>>606167495
Do this
>>
>>606166236
go so ISIS
>>
>>606166236
*grab mic*

"Attention: will the real slim shady please stand up. I repeat will, 'the real slim shady' please stand up. We're going to have a problem here."
>>
Fuck a passenger and post nudes
>>
69 get
when the pilot leaves for the bathroom, follow him.
>>
>>606167399
>>
Learn Somali. Give all the announcements in Somali.
>>
>>606167465
Off by 1 reroll
>>
>>606166236

Try to crash the plane exactly in the same way and in the same place
>>
>>606166236
Crash it in the Alps
>>
>>606166236
prove it... what runway is that plane on (slightly above)
>>
>>606166236
Do a barrel roll!
>>
>>606166236
fly it like a normal responsible person
>>606167777
nice quads, but they arn't cutting it here
>>
>>606167777
Nice quads
>>
>>606167615
kek
>>
>>606167777
QUADS!!!! Too bad it's not a quads thread!!!!

Checked
>>
Barrel Roll.
>>
Turn on the mic as you are lifting off and sing
"WHAT SHALL WE DO WITH A DRUNKEN PILOT WHAT SHALL WE DO WITH A DRUNKEN PILOT etc." as loud and as drunk as you can.
>>
>>606167777
ayyyyyyyyy quads
>>
>>606167777
fuck 69. Quads is the real deal
>>
Just crash it
>>
Bomb
>>
Break out of the cockpit and do a flip
>>
just fly normally like a good pilot would and land safely in Düsseldorf
>>
>>606167100
I LIKE THIS.
>>
fly the airplane
>>
>>606167495

rolling
>>
>>606168111
faggot but checked
>>
>>606167871
Re-roll, also >>606167938
>>
>>606167734
I like this one
>>
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No you are not, what are you rated on?


>dude is full of shit.....but do this
>>
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>>606166236
Just fly it
>>
Pretend you don't know the mic is on and then start a horrific conversation with the main pilot about how you beat your wife and hate feminism then after a few minutes say,

"SHIT! The mic is on!"

Then turn it off and don't say another word the rest of the flight.
>>
>>606167734
rollin'
>>
Fly normally and land safely in Düsseldorf
>>
>>606167981
>>606167982


what's a quad?
Sorry I'm new here
>>
you better fucking timestamp faggot
>>
>>606167398
WINRAR
>>
>>606166236
Keep mentioning the crash to your copilot, and say you want him close to you.
Then, whip out your dick mid-flight
>>
>>606168111
do this but like some faggot said already keep asking if the pilot wants to go to the bathroom
>>
>>606166236
do a barrel roll
>>
Perform your duties perfectly.
>>
>>606168343
tihs be single
>>
>>606168343
newfag or trollfag
>>
If you have to make a sharp turn or if there is sudden heavy turbulance shout ALLAHUAKBAR into the announcement thing.
>>
Try not to suck a cock
>>
>>606166236
Tell the passengers that they're going to go to Luxembourg instead because it's more fun and land there.
>>
>>606168423
>>
>>606168483
faggot
>>
Take a shit on the pilots chair
>>
>>606168633
THIS
>>
>>606168248

Rolling for this
>>
>>606168422
rolling rolling rolling
>>
Talk like the guy who did the recent crash was an asshole and that he stole your spotlight, but that you're gonna outshine him
>>
>>606168633
rreroll
>>
Yell "ALLAHUAKBAR" while doing a barellroll with the airplane.
>>
>>606166236
Ok, actually, behave like a co-pilot should.

And do a fukken barrel roll (can a widebody passenger jet actually do that?)
>>
Crash it into a mountain.
>>
If OP delivers this will be written in history of 4chan
>>
>>606167957
Rolling for this
>>
Fly where you're supposed to.
>>
Get high on cocaine and offer a bit to every passenger
>>
Put hot coffee down the pilot's pants
>>
>announce turbulences
>drop by 4000 feet
>fly straight again; apologize
>>
>>606168745
Buahah. This
>>
>>606168633
I like this
>>
>>606168911
muh 911
>>
tell the passenger you're gonna prove that jet fuel can't melt steel beams
>>
>>606168911
9/11 get...
>>
Fly normal
>>
>>606168422
69 get for this
>>
>>606166236
rape a stewardess.
>>
>>606168843
quite sure it could ... if empty
>>
Fly fucking normally
>>
Over the intercom, say: "Niggers and Jews must die"
>>
Crash it in the middle of an ocean
>>
>>606167100
rolling for this
>>
MEME!
>>
>>606168643
>>
>>606168911
Top Kek
>>
>>606169079
this
>>
>>606167957
>>
Land at the designated location
>>
>>606168983
underrated post
>>
Do your job
>>
>>606167957
this
>>
Crash in the alps.
>>
>>606168911
You mean the usa? Kek.
>>
Say the plane's hijacked, then fly to Cuba.
>>
Fart on intercom
>>
>>606166997
this
>>
>>606168983
reroll
>>
>>606168745
Rollin for this. 69 get
>>
>>606169267
GODDAMNIT I WAS CLOSE
>>
>>606166236
Lock the cockpit door, and announce that you want to go to the bathroom, but can't, because the copilot looks middle-eastern.
>>
crash the plane in a nearby tower, taking off your pants and scream PRAISE JESUS!
>>
Fly from Barcelona and land safely in Dusseldorf
>>
>>606166997
so much this
>>
>>606168633
do eeeeet
>>
>>606169370
close
>>
>>606167656
Reroll
>>
>>606168983
this
>>
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>>
Play Death Metal on intercom
>>
>>606169421
reroll
>>
>>606166236

>go to the middle of the plane
>shit on the floor
>then eat your shit
>post pics of your experience

about the flight itself do what you will
>>
>>606166236
yell snakes down the com in a panicked tone
>>
Ram plane into space needle.
>>
>>606166236
Report for work wearing terrorist clothes.
>>
>>606166236
Go full paratrooper above the alps
>>
>>606166236
plane in pooper
>>
>>606169425
This
>>
>>606166236
Do everything normally and land safely, but after all the passengers leave, steal the plane.
>>
>>606169540
re re roll
>>
Take a huge shit in plane toilet
>>
>>606169558
this
>>
get live updates of a sporting event and everytime someone scores scream it over the intercom as if something bad were happening
>>
>>606168633
OP BETTER DELIVRAR

>>606167957
or this
>>
Test
>>
kiss your pilot
>>
What would happen if you actually tried to do a barrel roll with an a320
>>
>>606169668
FUUUUUUUUUUUU
>>
Knock out the other pilot and lock the door. Fly into the being built twin towers. Newyorkfags rush over there and see if the jet fuel is melting the steel beams. Post results
>>
>>606166236
Spoil the endings of all in-flight movies "for the safety of the passengers"
>>
Sharpie in the pooper, entire flight
>>
slap a stewardess' ass
>>
Retract landing gear before taking off
>>
>>606169544

rolling for this

also check 'em
>>
>>606168248
reroll
>>
>>606169609
>>606169619
> 69619
> 69609
the odds
>>
fly to your destination
>>
>>606166236
rape a passenger
>>
start a paintball battle on the cockpit
>>
announce that the plane is "extremely low on fuel" but you think you "can make it maybe, I dont know."
>>
>>606169668
roll re
>>
>>606166236

scream 'oh god i don't want to die' over the pa the entire flight
>>
pee on the passengers
>>
Nose dive
>>
>>606166236
69 get.
Crash, make OP kill.
>>
>>606169544
Pretty good plan, rerolling
>>
>>606166236
Crash the plane.
>>
>>606169868
DAFUQ
>>
test "that thing" with fuel and steel
>>
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>>
>>606166236
prove jet fuel melts steel beams...
>>
>>606169804
Reroll
>>
stick finger up butt, stick finger in pilot's face
>>
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ohh
>>
>>606169790
reroll
>>
nothing
literally nothing
>>
Nose dive.
>>
>>606169544

c'mon rolling for this
>>
Melt steel beams with jet fuel
>>
>>606169868
>>606169668
so close
also, this
>>
play the snackbar music they play in the beheading videos through speakers
>>
>>606167957
THis would be literally the best thing that has happened to mankind
>>
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play this on intercom
https://youtu.be/vS3C0s3wuN4
>>
Ask the passagers if they wanna experiance zero-gravity
>>
Ask the passengers if anyone knows where Düsseldorf is, you can't find it on the map.
>>
Fap in cockpit and turn the mic on while you do it, I will wait for you in Düsseldorf.
>>
>>606170000
Fuck it, moar quads
>>
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MELT NIGGER CANT STEEL JET FUEL
>>
sex with stewardess
>>
get naked and show passengers peepee
>>
>>606169804
This
>>
At the start of the flight say "Allahu Ackbar" and pretend to me a good muslim and shit, but that would surely scare the passangers
>>
>>606170081
reroll
>>
>>606166236
You rotate the plane 360 degrees mid air and fly where you are supposed to.
>>
>>606169668
this
>>
>>606166236
>open intercom
>"If you don't shut up and sleep, I will turn this plane around"
>do a 360 noscope
>blame the jews
>>
slap your pilot's ass
>>
Melt fuel with steel beams
>>
Take a pic in flight
>>
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>>606170000
2 quads in one thread.
>>
crash plane in same spot as the other plane faggot.
>>
Land with no landing gear down
>>
>>606170000

nice quads

re roll
>>
fly normal
>>
>>606167432
Underrated post. Fuckin lol'd.
>>
>>606167957
this
>>
>>606170000
reroll
>>
fly upside down
>>
69 git
>>
Bet i won't even get dubs ;c;
>>
>>606166236
knock out co-pilot
attempt a barrel roll, try not to crash in the process
>>
>>606169544

do this faggot!
>>
plane is kill. no
>>
>>606170469
OOH SHIGGIDY
>>
>>606166236
Act pretty fly for a white guy
>>
>>606170469
WINRAR
>>
>>606170162
>>606170081
roll
>>
>>606170469
WINRAR
>>
take a huge dump and throw it at the most annoying passenger
>>
This on intercom
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7rXx1qCIgQY
>>
>>606170119
Rollan for this
>>
>>606170469
I am the win rar
>>
>>606169916
Reroll
>>
>>606169868
What dafuq are u cursed anon?
>>
>>606170469

WINRAR

I expect you to hear you in the news
>>
op, search for a steel frame building..
>>
>>606169853
Underrated post
>>
>>606170469
DING DING DING
>>
>>606170469
so he has to knock out himself?
>>
>>606170469
at least you have a chance of survival
>>
>>606170469
>>606170469
>>606170469
>>606170469
>>
>>606166997
roll
>>
>>606170469
WINRAR

OP better delivar
>>
>lean over to your fellow pilot
>tell him the stewardess asked for him
>the silence.
>the awkward moment.
>then laugh out loud and say that you kid.
>>
>>606170710
TOP KEK
>>
>>606170119
>sex with stewardess
Isn't that the whole point of piloting?
>>
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>>606166236
do this pls
>>
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>>606170666
Satan, I didn't know you would be in this thread
>>
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>>606170469
Winrar
>>
>>606170604
seems so
>>
>>606170710
no he knocks out the CO-pilot as in the other guy in the cockpit because i would imagine the other guy flying wouldnt be down for a barrel roll and would try to stop him
i dont want OP to crash at all, just do a barrel roll
>>
Do a barrel roll
>>
Pretend you are driving a train the whole time. Tell the passengers where the board restaurant is, and land on every small airport because its a rural small train. And remind the stewardesses via microphone to continously shovel coal for enough steam. When you land, call out: we reached düsseldorf main station. descend to the right.
>>
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>>606170710
>>606170710
Perhaps he needs to program the autopilot for the barrel roll and engage autopilot, then knock himself out
>>
>inb4 OP will deliver
>4chan gets all the blame for it
>and everyone in Germany is going crazy again
>>
>>606167777
Czeched
>>
>>606170469
Alright, will knock out self, but can't barrel roll if knocked out
>>
>>606166236
let a nigger tongue your anus
>>
>>606171118
technically if you are a CO-pilot that means the other guy is a CO-pilot as well
>>
>>606169853
Fucking this
>>
>>606168248
rool for this
>>
>>606170469
Ayy
>>
>>606171353
no there is a (main) pilot and his 'aide' if you wish, the co-pilot.
>>
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>>606167957
This
>>
FAP TIME !!! NOT FLAYING
>>
>>606170959
dat lack of reading comprehension doe
>>
>>606171353
technically no
>>
>>606171869
and you had all the power
>>
>>606171088
That would be hilarious. Imagine the headlines: Pilot makes "barrel roll" because he "wanted to deliver". Subline: Who is this 4chan.?
>>
JUST DO AN BARREL ROLL OP WHATEVER THE 69 FAG SAID
>>
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>>606166236
do this OP
>>
Screencapped this shit just for the case OP delivarrrrs
>>
Use the jet fuel to melt the steel beams
>>
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When the pilot goes for a pee, lock the door. When he comes back keep the door locked. After 5 minutes open the door and say "I'm just fucking with ya"
>>
we are counting on you OP do a mo-fuggin barrel roll by whatever means neessary
>>
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>>606166236
you do know you are fucking retarded for posting this right? Enjoy losing your 6 figure salary
>>
>>606170469
Fcking Czeched
OP better deliver, I want news reports
>>
>>606172233
this would be epic if Op will deliver
>>
>>606171118
well once you come to, do barrel roll
>>
knock out PILOT*
do barrel roll, try not to crash in the process
>>
>>606172080
i wonder what all those 'internet freedom' idiots would say to this. And im afraid of what conclusions the hard line conservatives will draw from it...
>>
>>606172080
I think then 4chan would really be kill
>>
>>606166732
Are you gonna pay for the rekt underpants?
>>
>>606168776
Ł>>606170000
Nice quads bro
>>
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>>606166236
DUDE, DUDE

how about you wait until captain leaves for a piss. You lock the cockpit door and start a landing descent. And you keep breathing calmly like its just another day, while landing the plane on a mountain. You should try, theres no fucking copilot whos ever done that i think. But you should really lock the door because the faggot captain will surely try to interveine.

Howerver good luck
>>
>>606170469

Deliver faggot
>>
>>606172226
Anyone have the LONGer version of this?
>>
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>>606170469
>>
>>606173462
cant put my finger in it, but i think ive read this somewhere...
>>
>>606166236
Imagine headlines: Infamous online forum "4Chan" convinces pilot of big liner jet to do a mid-air barrelroll"
>>
Sad thing is OP wont deliver.

We should all hail our hero Andreas Lubitz he did an hero just for us.

24.03.2015 never forget
>>
>>606172861
>>606173133

Well, there were some an heroes after being bullied here, so ifvthe dude "only" does a barrel roll, kills nobody and lands safely, he would probably juat loose his job 4ever and the fuss would lay down eventually.
>>
>>606170522
>>606170535
>>606170545
>>606170582
>>606170627
>>606170666
>>606170710
>>606170725
>>606170737
>>606170762
>>606170916
>>606171118
>>606171638
>>606172540
Fools the whole lot of you.

>Thinking OP is a real pilot and not some dick-sucking faggot using mom's computer.
>>
>>606172448
>being this gullible
>>
>>606173812
infamous hacker pls. "He did it again and this time he hacked a human brain to make a pilot barrel roll. Secret Services try to hire right now."
>>
>>606170762

as always
Thread posts: 280
Thread images: 21


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