>be me >be gay >have super Christian parents >parents send me and my boyfriend Juan to prey the gay away camp >we are loaded up on a buss and my mom tells me just to give it a chance while dad says nothing >i'm packed on a buss with 50 something of the saltiest boys to ever fill my dreamboat >we are driven to an airport and put onto a large cargo plane and given parachutes with cute bracelets >"Why do we need these?" >the man handing them out just smiles and says "don't drop em" >i put mine on and go to sleep >later i wake up to the sound of screaming and realize the planes back door is open and going nose up >we all fall out like gay confetti into the sky >most of us got to our parachutes. most of us. >when we landed we found ourselves in a jungle and heard a loudspeaker somewhere far away tell us we have a 5 minute head start >i was scared and ran looking for Juan while most of the queens just panicked >that first opening salvo of gunfire and screams fills my soul on quiet nights >i ran all night and slept in a tree >the next day i saw a stylish scarf and was going to grab them when a bottom beat me to it and they exploded >i understood now >i threw away my stylish bracelet and learned to move quietly at twilight from tree to tree eating bugs and drinking dew >I found Juan in a pitfall next to some moisturizer but didn't have time to mourn him >after a month or so they called my name out and i was the last one left and could go home >i approached camp slowly and saw they had a great spread >tons of beer, football on the tv, a gun range with all the ammo you could use, steaks as thick as your wrist, girl on girl mud wrestling >i looked down and saw a boner at seeing the now topless girls >it had worked >don't listen to what some people say, prey the gay away camps work >pic related
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