I know you're gone and you'll never read this. Maybe you already know. There may be a slight chance that someone is monitoring this account, still. Whichever the case, it's important to me to verbalize my thoughts in some form as I have no one close enough to me that I would speak these thoughts.
I am graduating this semester. It's taken six years since I went back to school, but it's finally happening. And it's mostly due to your encouragement. You spoke openly and frankly to me six years ago and told me that even though I possess good experience, I really needed to finish my degree. I think you even told me about the program, which I jumped on -- this program is the curriculum for which I've been waiting since I graduated high school. This is truly the direction I want to take with my life and career.
I wanted you to see this day. It saddens me deeply that I can't tell you face-to-face; I am not certain that I would have jumped so quickly had you not given me the push.
What you did for me carries a new legacy. Around the same time I was brought back into contact with a girl who is the closest I have to a real daughter. I hadn't seen her in almost 12 years, since her mother and I broke up. During the time since we have rebuilt and continued our relationship. So far as I am concerned, she is my daughter and she calls me Dad. I love her more than I ever thought I could love anything in this world.
She's 23 now and flying out to see my commencement. She's not doing so well with direction in her life, and I am hoping -- really praying -- that seeing me walk will help rekindle her life ambition and the fire in her belly to succeed.
I am very, very deeply sad that I will not get to introduce the two of you. Though you and I never had time to build more of a friendship, your influence upon me has been beyond profound. She won't get to meet you but I promise that she will know who you are.
I don’t think that I’ve been in love as such, although I liked a few folk pretty well. Love must be vaster than my smiles or touch, for brave men died and empires rose and fell. For love, girls follow boys to foreign lands, and men have followed women into hell. In plays and poems someone understands, there’s something makes us more than blood and bone. And more than biological demands for me love’s like the wind unseen, unknown. I see the trees are bending where it’s been. I know that it leaves wreckage where it’s blown. I really don’t know what "I love you" means. I think it means don’t leave me here alone...
Bide your time, never forget, work toward celebrating your friend's life and the good times, rather than dwelling on your loss. It gets better eventually, though you will still every once in a while had a bought where you can't stop the tears from coming, but each time will be shorter and shorter. You are not abandoning your friend by trying to get over it -- the last thing your friend would want is for you to stop living your life and be unhappy.
>>602504055 My girlfriend of 4 years died a few months ago...I just wrote her a letter. I'm gonna print it out and delete the file and put it on her grave. I've been looking for a feel thread to post on...does /b/ want to see the reason I don't think I'll ever be happy anymore?
I remember the first time I met you. Just another drunk Saturday night at Nick’s apartment. I didn’t pay much attention to you that night because I thought, well, there’s another girl out of my league. Another friend of a friend I’d probably see once or twice again, befriend on facebook, and never really give a shit about. How wrong was I, haha. We kept making awkward eye contact for a while, so I came up to you all confident, trying to think of some smart bullshit to say. Nick has always had a thing for ridiculously smart girls. I remember walking up to you and Lauren, saying hey, and the two of you bursting out laughing immediately. “What?” Still laughing, you said, “You’ve had ranch on your face for, like, 30 minutes now.” What a first impression. “Awh, fuck.” I started to laugh along with y’all, rubbing my face, “Is that why you two have been staring at me all night?” “Yep,” Lauren said, “Just judging the absolute shit out of you.” Laughter. “Well you’re one to talk with that fuckin’ spilled beer on your shirt!” “Yeah, but I’m not a fuckin’ idiot, at least I know it’s there!” “God damn it,” I stopped rubbing, “Did I get it?” “Nope,” You said, still laughing. “Here, let me help you.” You washed a paper towel and got the goddamn ranch off my face.
>>602504377 “You know,” I said, “with you staring at me, I was beginning to think that you thought I was cute.” “Nope, just clueless, haha…There, all better.” “Thanks.” “You know,” you said, “we only told you that because we’re your friend. It’s like…if you had a booger on your face, you’d want someone to tell you.” “Haha, yeah, I feel you.” “But you might have been a little right, though.” “About what.” “Well…you can have ranch on your face and still be cute.” “Oh really?” I dipped my finger in some ranch and put some on your face. “The f-…HEY!!!” “Yeah, I guess that is true.” I said, laughing “Fuckin’ asshole!” Now it was you wiping the ranch off your face, embarrassed, but still laughing. “Riley, get ready. Steph is here, we need to go.” Lauren said. You turned to me, “Hey, I gotta go, I’ll see you around…Michael, right?” “Yeah, Michael. Riley, right? “Yeah.” “Yeah, I’ll see ya. Nice meeting you.” “Nice meeting you.” And you were gone. I remember drinking my beer right after that thinking, ‘Jesus, man. That girl..”
We'd been wrong for each other for years and years. I loved you and cared for you, but we were fundamentally bad for each other. We fought, we ignored each other, we shared no passions or goals and the only thing we could do together was watch Netflix. It came as a surprise to everyone that we ended our marriage because we were so good at lying to each other that we were happy that we could lie to everyone else so easily.
I know it's only been a few weeks since I moved out, but I went on a date yesterday and had one of the best days of my life. Sure, we talked a little about our life aims but mostly we just had fun. I'd forgotten what that felt like. She was so damn happy all day and I feel like I could cry right now at the realisation I did that for her, because I never made you happy. When I kissed her as the sun set over Buckingham Palace it felt exciting and right, but when I kissed you it just like an obligation and comfortable.
We will never be friends or maybe even talk to each other again, but by God I don't regret that. Even if this doesn't last I know what happiness is and I will never compromise for anything less. I hope you don't either.
>>602504500 Were you in the previous feels thread? >>602504485 We hung out a couple more times. I got to know you. And holy shit were you cool. Remember the time we found out we liked each other? Goddamn, what a good night. It was at the bar, and I remember going up to Lauren, “Hey, Lauren. Isn’t Riley just…kind of fuckin’ awesome?” “Yeah, no shit. Why do you think we’re best friends? Haha.” “Haha, yeah. I dunno. It’s just.” I remember telling her, straight from my heart, the way I felt around you, “When she walks into the room, there’s just this energy, you know? And suddenly, I dunno, the music gets better, the beer I’m drinking doesn’t taste as bitter. She’s just fun to be around, you know? With every other girl, I’m just fumbling over my words. I can’t even think of what to say next. I get nervous. But not with her. There’s always something to talk about. And what we talk about, it doesn’t even matter because she’s just there. She’s next to me and I get to talk and be with her.” “Holy shit, stop. You’re adorable.” “Lauren, I have a huge crush on her, obviously. Should I….do anything about that?” “Yeah,” we both looked at you. You smiled and waved. “Because she has a crush on you, too.”
>>602504580 My heart was light as a feather. I was so happy. I went over to the guys, and Laura went to talk to you. I got carried away in a conversation with them. But when you guys needed to leave, I remember seeing you, and both of us were just smiling at each other, not saying anything, just beaming. We just knew. “Hey, listen I gotta go.” You said. “Yeah, hey, uh, do you wanna hang out sometime, you and me?” “Yeah, I’d love that.” We kept beaming. “UGHH, Riley let’s GO!” Lauren said. You hugged me, and I hugged you back…but you held on for that one extra second. And that second felt like forever. When you left, I was floating on a cloud with this fleeting, beautiful feeling. Goddamn, was I infatuated.
i had my girlfriend of 2 years cheat on me and fuck all my "friends"
i am 23 now, dont know anyone....yep, i am a lonely bastard who wants to feel love again so bad but I will never be able to trust :(
sometimes when I see vids of old dudes like 50, 60 pissing on 18 year old teens and throat fucking them like max hardcore I get some hope that maybe I will have some glory days but until then..i am one sad fucker
>>602504261 thanks man I appreciate it, I can link the story if ya want, id rather not get into it... anyways I just wanna say the biggest thing that disgusts me about his death is all of the fucking people atentionwhoring themselves from his death. "OH MAH GAWSH HE WAS LIKE MY BROTHER," half of these fucking people hated him...but yeah were planning on making a memorial and shit, think im just gunna leave it all out there and try to move on...I fucking miss you Dante....
>>602504680 Speaking of the bar, though, you know what my favorite us moment there was? When we first started going out, this one time I looked at you and said, “Hey Riley, what’s it like?” “What?” “What’s it like?” “…What’re you talking about?” “What’s it like knowing you’re the most beautiful girl in this bar?” You smiled and shook your head. “Awh, so sweet..” You looked at me dreamily and asked, “Hey Michael?” “Yeah?” “What’s it like?” I scoffed, “What?” “What’s it like knowing you’re the biggest faggot in this bar?” Tears from laughing so hard. “Yeah, hey bartender! Get this kid a sex-on-the-beach, he just came out of the closet!.” Jokes on you, bitch. That was the best sex-on-the-beach I’ve ever had, ahaha.
>>602504895 I remember our first kiss. We were at Joe’s place downtown, close to the river. It was nighttime in the high rise, and we could see the whole city bustling below us. “C’mon, I wanna show you something.” “What?” “My favorite spot in the city.” We walked down Michigan ave. and got to the bridge across from the Trump tower, remember? The city was gleaming in its lights. We stopped right in the middle, the river below us, its rippling waves reflecting the city lights a thousand times over. It was cold, and I loved seeing you in the cold because I love the way your nose gets all red. And you have the cutest sniffles I think anyone could possibly have. You looked out. “So beautiful,” you said. “Yeah,” I replied, looking right at you, “you are.” We locked eyes, and leaned in, slowly at first, but then fast. It was the deepest kiss I’d ever gotten from anyone. And it’ll always be my favorite. I remember there was a saxophone street performer in the background. That moment was perfect. I was so cold, but my heart was so warm.
I remember the first time I told you I loved you. It was kind of out of the blue. I remember I was doing dishes. You came up behind me and gave me a hug from behind. I turned off the faucet and turned around. You kept hugging me, your head pressed against my chest. And I couldn’t hold it in any longer.
>>602505081 >friends Drop them man. Get actual friends. It's hard at first but don't let other people walk all over you.. >>602504946 Alright man, hold on while I finish dumping Michael's story for >>602503849 “I love you.” You looked up, “I love you back, Michael.” And we kissed. For a while, too. We said it all the time, but in hindsight now, it wasn’t often enough.. And you always said in reply, “I love you back.” I began saying it, too. ‘I love you back.’ I remember one day stopping you and asking, “Why don’t you ever say ‘I love you, too?’” “Because it doesn’t make grammatical sense.” “How?” “Well, if you think about it, it only makes sense as a reply if someone says, ‘I love me.’ ‘I love you, too.’ But if it’s reciprocal and a mutual feeling, ‘I love you back.’ It makes more sense.” Fucking English majors, man.
Thanks. He was a friend and someone I considered a mentor. A good man touched the lives of many, many people. His memorial was story after story of his awesomeness and heartfelt concern for other people.
I realize we don't loose all the good ones, it just hurts more and we notice more than when a fucking bastard dies.
>>602505418 There were all these little moments in our relationship...Like, I remember one night when I was sleeping over, you woke me up at, like, 2 or 3 in the morning. “Ugh, what?” I groaned. “Just come on, follow me.” You led me to the kitchen. “No Surprises” by Radiohead was playing softly on the radio, not loud enough to wake anyone. “Riley, what is-“ “Shhh.” You pressed your finger against my lips. It was dark, I mean, d-a-r-k. We couldn’t see a thing. You grabbed my hands and put them on your hips. Then I felt the warmth of your arms against my neck, and felt you begin to sway to the music. I swayed with you. It was just us in darkness, slowdancing to Radiohead. When the song ended, you stopped. You grabbed my face and bent it down towards you, then kissed my forehead for a long time. “Thank you. That’s all I wanted. You can go back to bed now.”
>>602505512 Little moments like that made up our relationship. I can’t even begin to describe how happy I was when I was with you. I can remember so much of everything. The countless sleepovers, the all-night-long sex marathons. The Netflix season-a-day binge watching of Breaking Bad, How I Met Your Mother and The Office. The Robin Williams/Kevin Spacey/Quentin Tarantino movie marathons. The endless Vines and YouTube videos. I remember the fights, the food, the drinks, the laughs. Meeting your parents for the first time, you meeting mine. The countless inside jokes we never let people in on. The socials with Nick and Lauren and Joe and Kevin and Hannah.. The text message conversations, the Snapchats and selfies. Playing with the dogs. Bringing over food when you were on your period, you making me soup and crackers when I had the flu. You helping me with midterms. The all night study sessions. The naps on the red couch. The coffees. The video games, going to the mall, the movies, the bowling alley with everyone even though we were all awful. The parties. Us spending half our paychecks every weekend at the bar. Going to your musicals. Seeing the Chicago Symphony orchestra. The out-of-nowhere kisses. I remember it all.
>>602505584 I remember the sound of the impact. The boom. And everything happened in an instant. The screech of the tires, the complete loss of control. When the car pulled to a stop. I remember the bloody taste of copper in my mouth, the sharp stinging in my left leg. I remember the smell of the twisted metal, the burning plastic, and the gasoline spilled on the street. I looked at you. You hit your head of the car window, and blood was dripping down your face. You looked at me, and with the faintest voice asked, “Are you okay?” “Yes, Riley. I’m fine,” I lied. I held back my tears. I tried my best to not scream from the pain. I didn’t want you to freak out. You started to cry, “Am…Am I okay?” “Yes, baby, you’re fine,” I lied again. I started to hear sirens, “Help is coming, alright, Ri?” “Michael…I can’t see anything.” You looked around the car looking really confused and frightened. “Don’t worry, Riley, don’t worry. Everything is ok.” Then you said something I’ll never forget. “Michael, I can’t do this.” You breathed heavily, and started to fade. You fainted. Tears came flowing out of me. Every time I jerked when I cried, sharp pain on my left side. As the sirens got louder, I started to black out.
Lately it seems like I don't give a shit anymore. It is sad to look back at all the plans I had, and realize that none of them succeeded. I hardly leave my bed now. 20 years old college dropout. Don't know what to study. The only thing I know how to do is play guitar and I'm not that great at it. What should I do /b/?
>>602505668 I know that feel man. Maybe you could use your friends for a change. Use them to get actual friends, get to meet their peers >>602505653 I woke up about 5 minutes later in the ambulance. Everything was happening around me like a scene in ER. “Riley, Riley, where is she? Is she alright?” “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to calm down.” The ambulance medic told me. I leaned back and just wept.
Fast forward to 3 days later. I was finally well enough to leave my room. You were the first and only person I wanted to see.
>>602505743 Stick around, read Michael's story that I`m dumping, and read my story that I might dump >>602505895 I walked in. Your head was wrapped, and both of your eyes were black. You had tubes in your nose. The pain I felt in my heart seeing you like that was just…insurmountable. It was infinitesimally worse than any physical pain by the accident. Broken bones I could handle…seeing you like that, I could barely do it. You were asleep, so I sat there and held your hand until you woke. I had my phone, and I played “No Surprises,” by Radiohead over and over and over again. I wanted it to be the first thing you hear when you wake up. I saw your eyes open. They were glossy and red. I could tell you were in pain, and just like in the car, the tears flowed out of my eyes to see you like that. “Riley.” “W-Who?” Your voice was soft and scratchy. “Riley it’s me, Michael.” I said through the tears. “Hey…loser.” She smiled. I smiled through my tears, “Hey, Ri. I’m here.” “Mic-ch..ael…are…y-you al…right?” She could barely breathe through the syllables. “Riley, I’m absolutely fine…I love you so much, Riley. I love you so much…You’re gonna be alright, okay?” “Ilove…you.” You inhaled sharply for the last word, “back.” “Just get some rest, Riley. I’ll be here.” You nodded and when you closed your eyes, and tears fell down the sides of your face. I squeezed your hand, and went outside. Your parents, my mother, Nick, and Laura were out there. All of them crying. They told me that the times you’d come to, you said my name, and only my name. Each of them hugged me, except your father, and went into the room to see you. Little did I know that those were the last words we’d ever say to each other ever again. Had I known that at the time, I probably would’ve said something different.
>>602506081 Your wake was nice. It was difficult to go through all the pictures of us, but I managed. Oh, as a side note, you were a really cute baby. They let me pick the music. Talking to family and friends wasn’t difficult. Many tears were shed at the beginning in private with everyone, but it ended up being not that bad of a time. It was a beautiful day to have the worst day of my life. Your mom offered that I could stand in line with them to shake people’s hands, but I denied. I couldn’t have done that. Your mother is a strong woman, you know. So is your dad. At the wake, your father and I both had tears in our eyes and he gave me a firm long handshake. He told me, “You know, I never liked you…but now I wish I had. Because you made my little girl so happy.” I broke the handshake and hugged him. It caught him off guard, but he hugged me back.
>>602503849 Posting the last part, you better be here >>602504730 >>602504946 If you guys are still here, I`ll post my story next. >>602506146 After everything, it was me, Nick, Lauren, and Hannah drinking at the bar. We bought everyone a round. They paused the music and everyone got quit for our toast to you. Nobody dare sat in your favorite barstool.
I visited the corner where we crashed the other day.. I always find a way around it when I’m driving…I just can’t revisit the memory sometimes. It’s been months, but there’s still broken glass and chunks of plastic on the street from the cars.
I think about us every day. There isn’t a day that goes by I don’t think of you. But I really need to say goodbye. I’m taking down most of the photos of us around the apartment…I just can’t bear to look at them anymore, Riley. Don’t worry, you’re still tagged in all the photos on facebook. There’s one picture I’m keeping, and I got it framed. It’s the picture of us from the bar, the night I found out you liked me. I miss you.
>have depression/anxiety >be madly in love with a qt you haven't spoke with in over three years >have dream one night >meet new qt >friendly and has good taste in music >new qt for some reason like you >end up dating >forget about irl qt >literally feel the depression/anxiety you've lived with for so long leave you when you are around her >see favorite band one stary night on a date (neutral milk hotel) >she piggybacks you as you both laugh and sing along >literally the happiest i've been in a very long time >suddenly ripped back to reality as morning alarm goes off
/b/ it's 1am and I feel like fucking dying. I just want to take all the painkillers and muscle relaxers j have and just fade into oblivioun. I don't feel sad but yet I don't feel happy. I feel hollow, a shell of a person I once was...
>>602506460 Yeah, I agree that that doesn't sound like a plan. I have nothing to contribute in this area beyond finding an actual interest and then letting that lead you to people, what I'm currently trying.
>>602505081 Sounds like we're in the same boat anon. Even the girl I introduced into my group because I liked her is better friends with those fake pricks than I am, and we had history, but now they are all just pretentious assholes, so why is it that I still get sad when they forget to invite me into all their shenanigans? I get so sad.
>>602503618 It's my mate's birthday today. My mate who died in a racing accident 2,5 years ago. Just as the other dude said, it will get easier to live with it over time. Try to remember the fun things you shared but don't force yourself to stop feeling it- it's natural to feel bad after such thing happens. GL bro
to many "oh i dont have a girlfriend" crap in these, not having a girlfriend is not by any means even close the something worth getting all emo over, far worse shit could/have/will happen in your/others lives.
i really can relate to you guys. i feel exactly what you are. i know your suffering. It has been to long. I have been abused emotionaly everyday. people just cant accept my feminist attitude. yes i am lesbian. yes i am fat. but who cares who are you to judge a person based on what they look or think. you dont know me. u dont understand the struggles of being overweight. it is tough to live with every day. sometimes i feel like suicide is the only option. my "loyal" gf just dumped me for a nigger and i have no one to turn to. help me /b
>Girl I've been seeing for two weeks hasn't been texting as frequent the past couple days >busy when I try to make plans >no snaps >tfw no cute smiles >tfw no more kisses and hugs >tfw no holding hands listening to Beach Fossils and Wild Nothing in my car >tfw all planned road trips and music events are now no longer a thing >tfw she used me as the rebound guy >tfw no late night philosophy discussion >tfw no getting drunk and spooning each other >tfw no more sitting in the hot tub naked holding each other >tfw no more waking up at 6am to let her in after her night shift...
Fuck I can go on but I'd probably shoot myself in the head... About to drink a fuckton of red wine and take a few vikes. If I die, w/e.
>>602507133 >>602507207 1st part. Sorry for typos or mistakes, I tried to make it quick. >be me, may 2013 >grill friend asks me to come over cause mutual friend was back in town >do random stuff on our laptops while waiting for him >I went on Skype, was in a group chat with a friend and his friend, they wanted me to get in a group call but my friend just got here >said brb and went to hang with friends, eventually mutual friend left so back to laptop >join the group call, mess around for fun with the girl a bit (we'll call her L), tell her to add me at the end >she seems reluctant, but does so anyway >leave and catch the bus >don't think too much of it, but have weird happy feeling >fast forward a week, we talk somewhat often >fast forward to june, we now talk everyday, about deep shit sometimes >I had a long-distance gf at the time >make a few new friends, now smoke a pack of cigarettes a day, drink 3 times a week and smoke weed everyday >but also talk with L every day >she seems to really worry about my health, but also about the dangerous shit I'm doing >we eventually videochat on skype >friend was beside, both think to ourselves 'holy shit, that girl..' >L and I skype every so often now
>>602506982 you have to get past that fear, the fear of being hurt is a huge obstacle to overcome but imagine what life would be like if you let your heart be free in stead of caging it up like wild bird.
>>602506693 You want some real feels man? http://www.bellinghamherald.com/2015/02/26/4154681_teen-dies-when-car-two-trucks.html?rh=1 >I knew that kid my entire fucking life >The guy in the U-Haul is my friend's stepdad you have no idea how long that fucking day was man...I refused to believe it until I saw his mom, jesus christ her eyes man...
i got drunk and texted the italian foreign exchange student she said she was sad and didnt know why i said to her >i dont know why your sad i dont care either but as long as your my friend i promise you i will do my best to make you happy she says thanks your a good friend with the kissy emoji >iwishwecouldbemore.jpg n-no anon we gud
>>602506494 I'm pretty sure I had a dream that looked into my past life.
It seemed to be just after the Civil War and the dream only took one night but I lived several weeks during that one night inside the dream. I remember a girl in a dress in a gazebo in a field. I think it was the south since it was hot as hell and the fields seemed pretty endless. I spent at least 2 weeks there, with a girl that I felt I loved. I don't remember much of this dream other than the end and how long I seemed to be there. I remember walking up to the gazebo, looking at her from behind, and just as she starts to turn her head the dream ends. This is my strongest memory.
I assume it was just after the civil war because of how we dressed, that and there were no cars. I think it was a past life because before this I would always feel somewhat nostalgic whenever I went into a Civil War museum. After I had this dream, the nostalgic feeling became much stronger to the point that things have just felt off since then.
After I woke up from the dream I forgot who I was for several hours and last track of where I was. I was rather confused at not being "home" despite being in my own home.
>>602503883 Our brains run on electric signals, same as the Curiosity rover. That's what emotions are; electric signals in the synapses of our minds.
Well what if, somehow, Curiosity began to feel emotion. Began to wonder why it was alone out there in all that cold emptiness, much like a child wondering why its parents left. And it begins to cry. And search, search for its parents that aren't there.
>>602507545 eh i prefer the more personalized attempts at feels, the type of thing that tries to reach out to someone who has the same problem, a random (to me) accident really doesnt produce much feels really.
>>602507497 I use to work out, I use to socialize, I use to do things. But now, I just do nothing.
Sometimes I try and get cleaned up and try to look for a girl. But I have no experience in actually going out and looking for girls. The last time I asked a girl to dance in High School, she legitimately laughed in my face.
>>602507377 thats the worst part, either that or you realise its happening and try to stop it, in the end you give up and let your guard down. Met a girl a few years back, went to a gig with her on haloween, met her little girl the next day, adorable 2 yearold, she took a instabt liking to me...shame her mum didnt
>>602507711 >>602507791 >>602508010 > but but but mah gurlfriendz!! srsly this shit does not produce feels, its sad in a "my god how sad that someone would really throw this much of a fit over nothing" kinda sad.
It's been 4 years I am single. 4 years ago, my first girlfriend ever and I broke up after a 3 years relationship. Basicly, she wanted us to be in an open relationship, because we fighted a lot at the end and it would probably help us blahblahblah. I disagreed, ended up agreeing. She fucked a friend of mine. It was too late, I had agreed on it, so, basicly, she was not even cheating. I did go kinda crazy days after. Asked her not to talk to this said "friend" again. Both refused. Got even more mad / crazy. Broke up, got back to my parent's place. Still in here, alone, since 4 years, doing nothing. Still in love with the bitch.
>>602507791 FUCKING THIS everytime this gets me cause im right there man i can achieve teenage love but everyone in this town is a stuck up whore i hate this place i hate this life i want something different i want to be in my old town talking to people ik and cared about since elementary fuck this loveless life i am forced to live the worst part is i can do it im not ugly beta or obese but there are no nice girls who are interested
>>602508474 Here you go then >gf eventually breaks up with me, L is there for me >fast forward four days later, we're dating >she's in the next city and I have literally no money to get there, also leaving in a week to other continent to visit family >try my best to get money to go on a date, fail >we skype at the airport, by now we're pretty much skyping all the time, up to 3am >realise I really love her, she loves me back too, when did it even start? >6hour timezone difference, but we make it through >I was supposed to be there 2 months, it ended up being 7 due to money problems >against all odds we love eachother more than ever >wondering all the time what it would be like to be with eachother.. >get back home at the end of January, at this point we also fight a lot >we end up having our first date near the end of february, still remember it >make a really close female friend at school too >start to become depressed sometimes at school because I'd fight with my gf >we fight a lot, but somehow we make it through
>>602506494 >have depression and anxiety like above anon. >have best gf in the world. >have lots of money problems. >have majorly low self esteem. >have solipsistic tendencies, so views on the world are apathetic. >I want to an hero because money panic and apathy of general existence. >gf and best friend only people keeping me around. >they make me happy >they don't know I'm prolonging my discomfort just so I don't miss them when I'm gone.
>>602508651 Already posted 1st and 2nd part of my story, here's 3rd >fast forward to the end of may, she breaks up with me over facebook, and blocks me >my best friend backs me up, ex unblocks me, we start talking a bit again >prom night, kinda fun but all I can think of is my ex >grad night, pretty much only go there to drink, not even to hangout with friends >school ends, don't see my friends much, depressed most of the time, start drinking a lot >still talk to my ex every day, that's my only hope >mention getting back together, say 'I love you' here and there >my hope starts to slowly fade >meet some guy on a feels thread, we start emailing >fast forward to july, she blocks me for the last time >really want to anhero that day, but best friend is here for me, she asks me if I want to come over >start getting more into an online shooter because too much free time
You know OP, movies should make you feel better right?
Last night I watched Big Hero 6. Although it was good it kinda hit me. I took animation as my profession but I kinda fail hard, dat feel when you'll never be able to make that awesome animation just makes me feel bad. Also this is probably the second time I really like a fictional character, (his big brother is really fucking cute damn it). I know it's completely fictional but it made me hate myself more.
tldr; I ended up hating myself after watching a movie.
>>602509403 It wasn't me that made her do it. For the past 10 months I've been trying to help her through her depression however I think I can. Since the incident, she's been doing better. Don't think for a second that I made her life worse.
I hate these long minutes before sleep. They're even worse after a night of drinking. Those long long minutes before sleep, where you're awake enough not to fall asleep, but tired enough to break down and not giving a fuck about remaining strong. Where you're not able to ignore the piece of shit this world is we're living in. Where you can't pretend it'll all be alright. Because some part of you knows it won't. It has never been alright and there is no possibility of it ever being all right.
Fuck. If I weren't numb of the booze I'd be crying now.
>>602509881 I'm with you anon. I'm thinking about you right now because I know exactly what it's like to not have anyone at all. My family hates me. The only person that's ever loved me is now going out with my "best friend." All I have left is you guys here on this beautiful website.
Never think no one isn't thinking about you because I am, anon. I will always be thinking of you and everyone else in this thread because I am right there with you.
>>602501247 >watched today Edward Scissorhands >Felt nostalgia while watching the movie >scene when Kims tells Edward to hug her >Edward tells her he can't >Kim manages to hug him >start crying and thinking about crush >this happened with crush a few months ago >pretty much llike the scene on the film
>> be 29, virgin, >> 2005, life is going fine, had friends, had good vibes from a 8/10 girl. >> suddenly one day dad gets brain hemmorage >> dad's in medical care for 2 months and later at home with lots of medication >> financially wrecked, started looking after dad's business. spend all time in reviving the business >> cut off from all my friends for almost 2 years >> friends move on, stop calling me for dinner or camping, basically no social life >> after 2 years business is shut due to financial problems. >> start working, 90 % of my pay goes towards family expenses and medications. >> everything is lost by now on personal front, but dont think much coz family is doing fine. things are looking better. >> 2010 family is gone in an accident. I survive because I was at work. >> started doing drugs after that. been jobless for past 5 months, no money left
I have given up now. don't feel like working or doing anything, its better to die in to cold out there.
>>602508704 i actually attempted to an hero twice over money and general indifference, but managed to fuck it up both times. here's some advice though:
if your gf leaves you and your best friend tells ya to fuck off, give it a year or so before you an hero. but don't think of it as a countdown to finally ending it, think of it as a year to experience a bunch of new shit and find some things that you really enjoy doing.
at the end of the year, you still really hate life, then you can go ahead and an hero. but who knows, you might find something worth living for.
this is exactly what i told myself summer of 2013, and i'm glad i didn't off myself right away, because by summer of 2014 i was pretty glad to be alive
>>602511078 Alright. >January 1st, 2015 >Get invited to New Year's party >Girlfriend has severe social anxiety so she stays home and I'm cool with that >Tell her I'll be back by 2am >2am rolls around and I'm already in my car about to head home >Pull out phone to text her I'm on my way >2 unread messages >"I need you" >"Anon come back please" >Was 30 minutes ago >Race home >Find her laying on the bathroom floor passed out, white as a ghost >Pill bottle on the opposite side of the room, empty >Put her in the backseat of the car >Get to the hospital a few blocks away >Sit in the hospital for over 48 hours right by her bedside waiting for her to wake up
>>602501247 >Be 1994 >born >Have older sister >had a "best friend" who was my neighbor as well as surrounding acquaintances >Played soccer with neighbor >all the women liked him >eventually forgotten >all my acquaintances used me to get to my sister >whenever I got into an argument with them, she always took their side >was neglected >was forced to play sports in elementary school >never liked it so got out >gained weight >bullied in middle school (mostly 7th grade) >acted out for attention >High school was the same until senior year >lost significant weight and had much better hygiene >fell in love with girl >asked her out, but rejected hardcore. Everyone made fun of me for it >Graduate >don't wanna do anything with my life other then browse /b/ and play vidya >can't understand why I am so miserable >realize that its because nobody has ever loved me other than my family even though i don't feel it >Distract myself with vidya >Forced to go to college or kicked out >bomb the first semester >Don't really care >meet women who like me, but are to ugly >one of them tells me that its whats in the inside that counts >lol no >cry for two more years about being alone >meet an 9/10 who likes me >to pussy to ask her out >miss opportunity >see her again at walmart >miss opportunity because to pussy >see her again at school >miss opportunity >has a bf now >madly in love with her now >mfw I only like attractive women that don't like me even though I say I just want one person to like me >mfw Iam an egocentric arrogant faggot that has more complex emotions than your average woman
The young traveller sighed. Where was he going again? Something... something about... a curse. Was that what he was running away from? Perhaps it was something he was running towards... The boy was far beyond saving. His movements were slow like an old man's, as if the very air had the thickness of a spider web. His skin had turned to a shade of brown that even the crows had forsaken. Most of all, his eyes were turning gray, like a dead fish's. He was hollowing from the inside. Now even the anxiety was fading; as he became oblivious to the notion that his mind was colapsing. For weeks he had screamed and moaned for his mother; now a stranger's name, sounding more and more like a scream of agony. No one had come but the dreaded men that had murdered him to harvest... something. Something about a curse. He was silent now. Laying down on his back under the rain. Waiting for a death that could not come. The young man put his hand in his pocket and felt it. He smiled one last time, and in a final spark of humanity, he whispered to himself: "I had a name". A simple pendant with no effect. Even so, pleasant memories are crucial to survival on arduous journeys.
>>602501247 https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nuKQg44siPY > Skip to 6 minute mark I watched this documentary and I'm a complete asshole but at the 7 minute mark, when the child reaches out and feel a motherly body. Warmth in a long, long time. I lost it. > In before 'haha, retards'>>602501247
>be me >be 21 >transgirl mtf >i am at the end of my hope >2 months of hrt and I know i wont ever find anybody which could love me >sound like a guy because i cant change my voice >think im gonna do an hero this year
My mom left me on a park bench to die when I was a baby. I was adopted by my grandmother by default. I've Been The black shhep my whole life. My grandfather(I call him dad because he was the only person that didn't alienate me) died when I was 11. Felt cold and alone ever since. I font fit in at home or work or when I was at school. Sometimes I feel like like I died on that park bench. This is hell.
>>602511044 Fuck, sorry, was feeling hard. Anyways, here goes the last part >meet new people on there, also meet a 'girl' >fast forward to august, we add eachother on fb, also became friends with the guy I emailed >she's real cute, probably only because she looks like L though >get really close, message each other all the time, make her cum over im >talk a few times on the phone, for 2-3 hours each time >again, make her cum, seems like it makes us closer too >if we didn't live that far away we'd be dating, but we don't want a long-distance relationship for now >call eachother baby all the time, tell eachother 'i love you', hearts at the end of every message >fast forward to october, shit goes down and we stop talking >my dog that I've had since I was 5 also dies >meanwhile, hang out with a friend, meet a girl and flirt with her a bit >eventually go out on Halloween >I only think of L, don't even care that much for my current gf >we break up in a month, L still makes me feel the most >nothing interesting happens after that, except me drinking whenever I can >it doesn't make me forget L, but it somewhat helps Looking back over summer 2013, how I met L is just a big clusterfuck of coincidence. I shouldn't have been there, I should have left early. Overall I wasn't supposed to meet her. Still remember when I looked through her pictures on facebook, and when we first videochatted. She was so beautiful. I haven't logged on skype since december. She's still in my contacts list. I still have our pictures on a laptop, but I can't even bring myself to watch any. I miss her so goddamn much. I don't know the last time I was happy, or smiled. Not a day goes by without me thinking of her. I want her back more than anything, but that's never gonna happen. So, that's it, /b/, the story of how I had happiness and then lost it. The story of my life. Also the first time I've posted it. But I needed to get it off my chest.
>>602512493 I'm sorry man, but there isn't a whole lot more to the story, honestly. When she woke up, there were a lot of tears and apologies but overall we promised we'd be there for each other even more than we were. She was taken off the pills she downed forever, and I'm in charge of keeping the pills she does have safe with me at all times. Funny how you both said she was being really selfish, isn't it?
>>602512759 I don't live for my gender. I never experienced love or intimacy. I just want to be hugged. Nothing more, just be loved as the person I am, but no one is able to give me that. I wish i would have started sooner and ended masculinity before it started. But I will have to live to the end of this life with eternal regrets and no hope for a future.
>>602513496 that kid is op. kek. what a faggot you are. i bet the reason why he even exists is because the abortion was stopped half way through and what came out was a mere shell of a man. look into those vacant eyes. you can see his 2 brain cells he has. look at his disfigured face. a sure sign of the inbreeding in his family. the only reason why he doesnt care is because he can barely grasp the concept of reality.
>>602504030 When I saw this link and read this post: >>602511345 I immediately knew it was going to be that video. I remember I was lost in thought a few days ago and the memory of that video surfaced. I instantly searched it up and shed feel-filled tears of nostalgia.
This morning I took my dogs for a walk and got a call from my best friend. She wanted to apologize for hurting me so bad. She felt as though it was her fault, but it was just because I loved her, and she didn't know until I explained exactly how I felt and left it in a note in her purse. Something felt clearer now that I could answer her requests and respond to her compassion, but I could feel from across the bay that she was at unease, because despite the unique connection she describes so strongly between us, she loves herself another man, and I have nothing to offer her. In the afternoon I went into a construction sight and smoked some weed, then walked around town for three hours talking to one of the only other people who I connect with. We are 2000 miles apart, but we are forever each other's, and we got stoned together from across the continent in wake of the morning's events. At nighttime I watched a movie with a few people I know, but I couldn't focus on the movie. I left as soon as I could after it was finished, and I went to an alleyway and smoked a cigarette. The stars, as strangled as they were by the city's inoculating glow, were seen clearly to my mind for the first time in too long. I looked into the sky as the last of the ashes floated to the concrete, and I said over and over, "I will find you." My words weren't worth the spit. Even as this paved sandbar pulls me away, as these few people across the country who I feel eternally at hear with pull me away, as the drowning air of the tobacco pulls me away, I will one day find you. What you do with that is not for me to think about. The wordless soul of the everything will unconsciously do to me whatever it is that is ripe to be done. I will find you.
>>602510363 >woke up at 9 am today >played Arma 3 all day >Going to bed at 2 am crying because I have severe anxiety and depression >thinking about how I attempted suicide about a month ago and how people just don't care. You fucking touched my feels too hard.
I just wanted to let you know that back in 2010, 4 years and a half ago, I was browsing /b/ a lot. What I enjoyed the most were feels thread (they were called baww threads back then). I just wanted to let you know that it eventually gets better. Obviously I'm still taking antidepressants, but things are on track.
Please support this website by donating Bitcoins to 16mKtbZiwW52BLkibtCr8jUg2KVUMTxVQ5 If a post contains copyrighted or illegal content, please click on that post's [Report] button and fill out a post removal request
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows an archive of their content. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.