>>601553405 I do tell jokes, I'm really good in groups but no in 1on1 situations. I am Ctually a quite social and liked person but sometimes I run out of things to say if it's me alone with someone I don't know well
have 5 questions in the chamber before the approach then expand on each question in conversation. that should give you at least 30mins. if she's still around by after that you should be well and truly past the uncomfortable chit chat.
Honestly all you gotta do is keep talking. Your brain has a way of putting things together and when you pause or hesitate you de rail your own train of thought. Keep talking dont stop. trust yourself and you will be the most interesting person she has ever met.
Pets, family, how her day was, etc etc etc. Women like to talk, just about anything will do, particularly about themselves. Just avoid religion and similar topics and you're golden. Save those for later when you've spoken for awhile. If you're lucky they'll never come up at all.
Trust me please. I'm being kind enough to actually give you proper advice. How many girls always get asked the same questions over, and over again; Where do you go to school? Whats your major? What do you do? Blah blah blah boring fucking shit. Its all the same to them. You need to get them to be interested.
By being cocky - now i dont mean an asshole - the girl will stay intrigued, and may even possibly be turned on by this. Confidence is huge for a woman. Especially if shes hot, you better fucking guarantee shes cocky too. If she notices you being confident, she will tend to be more attracted to you because you match what she thinks about herself. You put yourself on her level.
Be funny. Sarcasm, sexual jokes (that are not creepy, plan them right).. Its easy. Dont think hard about a joke.. if you cant think of one within 10 seconds of reading a text, then there is no joke to be made. Be witty too.
tl;dr > be cocky/confident, be different. Be funny. Dont be so serious, fuck around with her. Make her question things. Keep her interested.
Fact is you are the one making those 'awkward pauses' for yourself. It means you like the girl. Just keep your nerves steady. Also, learn to breathe from your balls... dont be that exhilarated fuck that sweats around girls. My biggest thing is to NEVER giggle. When your going to laugh you better laugh like a goddamn man not this giggly little boy. Girls love a guy that is having a good time with them.
>>601555411 honestly strategizing about how to get a girl with strangers on the internet is probably the most beta thing you can do. The sooner OP leaves this thread the more likely he will have a successful sex life
>>601555756 Unless you have something to be cocky for, dont pretend like you think your the best. Actually earn your reason to be cocky. You cant just 'pretend' that you think your better than people, thats an asshole
You just act natural and like a person that has self confidence and actually gets poon and not be creepy. It's all mental, and also allow the female to feel comfortable talking to you. Practice on lesser females and get the awkwardness out of your system before you can become an alpha dog poon slayer
Pic related: it's me on a vacation with bitches. Practically talked my way into the trip, 2guys and 6 girls in one hotel room, and I got with 2 of them
And fellow /b/rethren, looks aren't the only thing, but presentation is the biggest thing. Seem confident and you will be perceived as confident. Females are conscious thinking beings that get nervous true trying to figure out life so don't put them on a pedestal like they're a goddess.
Also I'm very good at getting snapchat nudes, have about 60 confirmed kills with maybe 20 or so females
Anon is right. Confidence is key. Be confident in yourself, be confident in your voice, be confident that what you say will get a response back. If you think she already likes you, why is this hard? That should be the perfect opportunity for you. Take advantage of her feelings for you, and make the move.
Once again, I didnt mean be cocky as in be an asshole. Perhaps I shouldnt have used the word cocky. Confidence is what I meant.
OP, Confidence man. Thats good you can talk to her, but like I mentioned talking about school, or how class went is boring. She hears that from not only you, but her best friend, maybe another guy whos hitting on her, her teacher, her parents. Who the fuck knows.
Think of random shit. Or maybe just ask her to go out to the movies, or to grab lunch with you; a coffee even. Its simple shit really.
Big key points for you, would be to have confidence in yourself. Whether you have pimples on your face, your dick is small, youre skinny as fuck; it doesnt matter. Get over yourself, and move on. Deal with what you have, and learn to live with it. By not giving a fuck about your flaws, and overcoming them with confidence will help you get girls.
Yes, some will turn you down. It happens to every guy whether hes a 4/10, or a 10/10. The fact she apparently likes you already makes this easy. ALSO when in doubt, and conversation goes quite, joke/make fun of something. Just make fun of anything. Anything you can see, that you think is stupid in that exact moment. Dont be afraid to call shit out.
Ok here goes, I haven't read any other post but I want to be helpful. You need to realize that it doesn't fucking matter what you say, all she expects is a reply, not some shit that's gonna sweep her off her feet. Say anything, questions are good but when things die down and get awkward start talking about something about her like her shirt or purse, girls love talking about themselves. The best thing to do is listen to her and analyze everything for a reply or an "in" and you get used to that its like second nature, it's actually how humans communicate betas
>>601556491 nope, that's the mistake. there is no correct reason to be cocky/confident. that's typically why "smart" people aren't, because they see their situation, see the context and find no reason to be overly confident. but that's not the point, you can only find a reason not to be confident, but it's being confident despite anything that matters. literally blind confidence if you want to call it that. the reference point for your confidence is irrelevant.
also, this isn't thinking you're better than people, its just finding no reason not to be confident in yourself. obviously still respect others, don't offend people. confidence =/= being unpleasant.
It depends, really. It would be easier for me to help if I knew some background conversations you two have had in the past. However, once again instead of asking "Hows class going?", "Did you get all your work done?", try to be more creative. Is she wearing jewelry? A ring maybe? Just call it out. "Hey, I just noticed your ring. It looks nice, where did you get it?"
Even though you're now asking her "Where she got it?" -which is somewhat typical- you have now complimented her, and her fashion. Girls LOVE this shit. "Hey, nice shoes! They look fucking amazing on you!" Whatever the case is, compliment.
That should be a conversation starter right there. Once again, if the girl is already interested, she will mostly help carry the conversation.
Your conversation start OP, must come from past conversations you had with her. Start remembering small things she mentions. They could be a quick joke, unimportant shit.. But then 2 days later, you bring it up again; "So did you get that stink out of your room?", "Did you dad end up fixing his car?". Whatever.
You got this man. Confidence. Your issue is right now, that you're thinking way too hard about a response. Or an opener. Stop thinking so hard. IF you honestly have nothing to say, and feel like you'll be boring, just lay low. Take it easy, no need to rush and seem desperate. Do your own thing, let her come to you.
Take it easy my friend. Please remember, confidence. Confidence.
>>601559153 yeah my biggest problem is internal I cant see myself as being the one who says whatever the fuck he wants to a girl, I'm kind of a pussy wanting to make sure she approves of me. But the thing is that if I have a friend in the conversation, I can say whatever the fuck I want. sad right?
>>601559568 Well start getting used to saying whatever you want. Your a man. Dont be soft spoken. When a person makes fun of you dont just take it. When a girl says hi to you, dont mumble. Stay proud buddy
didn't really read much of the others', but if you're doing something it's easier, but it listening to music, watching tv or gaming, then if it's silent it's okay cuz you're still doing things. i got lucky in the past and both my ex and current gf are pretty okay with just not doing anything so yeah if you can find someone like that that's always useful, if not, like what i've read here, just pull shit out of your ass. my go to is always music, which is easy being the metalfag i am, but whatever you listen to if you do listen to music, try to bring it up and see what she's interested in that shit establishes common ground and if you can find shit you both like then it can help you keep convo's going in the future as well. fun thing about discussing music is you never really run out of new things. there's my mouthful.
>>601559537 I can't really recall our conversations, but usually theyre about stuff somewhat related to school, but I'm up to talking about anything. I need to learn how to talk about things I like which make me passionate about what I'm talking about
>>601560176 also i forgot to mention, talk about shit you know. that's why i go back to music, i know that shit so i'm not desperately looking for shit to say cuz i already know all these things by heart. it's all in the confidence. even if you have to fake it, it'll come from these kinds of things. also don't be afraid to ask questions, clarification and shit. it's no tyour fault if you don't know what she's talking about
>>601561066 I agree and disagree. I agree with anon that you should just keep flowing out with a certain filter that doesn't ending up you saying "gas the kikes", but sometimes when she starts talking about herself the convo gets boring and I'll end up just agreeing to everything she says
>>601559537 Megan talking to one of my good friends, we can talk for almost an hour about the weird shit my teacher does and his weird voice. I wish to be able to talk to her like I would with anyone I'm close witj
Honestly, i'd respond with "Thats boring as fuck" and drop it. Its somewhat of an asshole remark, but if thats her response than fuck her. She clearly is not interested. If she wants to talk to you, she would have said much more, or would have at least asked "Hbu?".
Best thing is to show her you dont give a fuck. So either respond with something like "You must be a boring person" (keep in mind, your being an ass but also sarcastically joking at the same time), or dont msg back at all.
If that sarcastic joke carries through, she will get offended and respond back with "Wow youre a dick" or something on those lines; you respond back with "Lol im teasing, relax. When are we meeting up?"
This is assuming you two havent planned on meeting up before. Like i mentioned in all of my posts, youre being cocky/confident. Go, fly my son.
>>601561509 To you it might be boring, but to her it would be the best conversation ever. People love to talk about themselves. Its your own fault if you just agree with everything, disagreeing with some things or offering a different point of view keeps things interesting
>>601560781 ask her something else like, you doing anything exciting tomorrow/the weekend/whatever you know she does/is into. idk if she responds like that she probably doesn't want to talk or she is not very bright. if had a aim for the conservation like wanting to go out with her sometime then work it towards that
>>601562236 The hardest part about talking to this person is that it's in class, so if we ever do have a good conversation going, it will get interrupted by the teacher. Once he fucks off it's difficult for me to get the convo back and running all over again
No it's not: "what did you just say, I couldn't hear you over the rudeness of the teacher.' or, 'as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted.' Or even better 'lets continue this conversation somewhere else... Write down your phone number.'
do girls like it when you make fun of people who are fucking weird? Me and my friends are some of the worst human beings out there and talk about all the people we hate, but would a girl be offended by this and think it's weird?
Holy shit you kids with your "alpha this" and "Beta that"... Alright OP it's simple.
People pick up on little social cues even when they don't realize they're doing it. A guy who seems constantly confident during a conversation is going to put many women on guard simply because they've been burned a lot. This will only attract you really shallow, fucking idiotic women. Is that really what you want?
You aren't that super confident bro-douche guy; so don't try to pretend to be that guy. It'll be obvious; and it won't work out for you.
Instead what you do is you call yourself out mid conversation. Any tiny bit of defensiveness she may have had will be melted away, and you two can laugh, continue talking, and there you go.
So how does this work? Easy...A lull in conversation happens and you just semi-awkwardly but self effacingly say "Sorry... you know how sometimes you feel like you're going to say something stupid and you end up not saying anything at all? Yeah... And it's always way worse when the person you're talking to is really pretty/cute/beautiful/whatever fits at the moment."
Let it sit for a sec, gauge her response, then immediately follow that up with "So... now that I just embarrassed myself (or some other MILD self deprecating comment), how about we go get some coffee?"
Why does this work? Because we're ALL awkward, even if we internalize it. We're ALL afraid of rejection. We're ALL scared of saying the wrong thing. Especially women who are often socially set aside in a lot of ways.
Potentially more if I feel like typing it up in my next post.
>>601564516 >"Sorry... you know how sometimes you feel like you're going to say something stupid and you end up not saying anything at all? Yeah... And it's always way worse when the person you're talking to is really pretty/cute/beautiful/whatever fits at the moment." That is Grade A, collapse-your-sphincter-into-a-singularity cringe. Nice job, anon.
>>601565268 Yeah, and that shit fucking works. I've used a similar tactic on waitresses... they hate being hit on. But I've gotten numbers. Admittedly in my case I have okay looks to go along with it. I do look a little douchy, but I'm not that guy and I'll admit, it confuses people.
But that tactic is almost verbatim how I met me wife of 5 years. So.... I'm going to have to say you can call it cringe worthy all day long... you kids will get it one day.
I am not, no. Thanks for the good laugh haha. I will be honest; im a 23 year old, white Canadian. Full time job as a Technician, just living life. I have my own car (which is also nice to have with girls. Gives you freedom to go somewhere). I used to be somewhat shy around girls. Ive had acne on my back, and face all throughout highschool. I still get acne on my back sometimes, and face. I didnt have much confidence.
Long story short, I can confidently (theres that word again) say that i've been with 15 different girls in the last year and a half. Whether it be a fuck buddy situation for 2 months, or a one night stand. I learned by experimenting how to speak with them properly, and how to read them properly.
A lot about talking with a girl you like is about "READING" them as well. You need to be able to have a sense of the vibe theyre giving off. Thats how you properly plan your next move. This comes with practice of flirting/attempting to get with other girls.
You need to remember that you WILL get turned down sometimes. It happens. Get that over your head, and when it happens to you (because it WILL), learn from your mistake (if there was one), laugh it off, and move on. Even if you made no mistake, but the girl was a stuck up bitch. Thats a good reason to not bother with her. I learned to have confidence in myself, and use that to my advantage.
Im assuming you will all ask if im hot or not. I consider myself to be attractive. Maybe im bias? Who knows.
>>601564355 Perfect bro! There ya go, thats huge. Use that. Do you watch it yourself? If not, start. Or better yet, tell her you want to start watching it. From there on, ask "Hey lets chill out sometime and watch GoT. You gotta catch me up!". Once again, if shes interested/cool with you, it would most likely be a yes. If youre comfortable, use the "Heyy we should watch GoT and cuddle sometime". The "cuddle" move works every time. I mean, who DOESNT like cuddling?
>>601553405 I agree with this guy. Don't "try" to do anything. Just act the same way you would around guys. You're on /b/, so chances are, you're socially awkward. That's fine, but it just means you'll probably be working with a smaller pool of women. The fact is: either it's going to work or it's not. There's not much you can do about that. But, women can tell when a guy is "trying". Don't try, just do. Talk to them the same way you would anyone else.
>>601566181 Thanks again for the great advice anon! Mowing a senior highschool, I'm more reluctant to say things like this because if I do get rejected, I have to still be next to this girl every day for the rest of the year. I agree with you that I need to start experimenting and getting better with girls at social events, where the rejection won't effect my future.
>>601566505 I use to be incredibly Akward two years ago when all I did was game on the weekends. But since giving up that life I have become incredibly successful having many good friends and being known by almost everyone. I just need to get my game Better with girls 1 on 1 no group situation. I just don't have much experience with 1on1 with girls so I probably should practice more. I want to be able to hold long conversations about whatever the fuck I want
Alright so, I'm not too tired yet so I'll keep going.
So what if she says no? What if she's dismissive toward going out to get coffee? What if she basically says something along the lines of she's not interested/not your type/whatever?
Okay, I'm about to say something that is going to be completely against what you've always been told. But you know what? The shit you've been told isn't working for you. So hear me out.
If in this case, (or any case) a girl turns you down; you roll with it. You don't persue her at all. You make a point of being her friend... And none of this neckbeard being her "friend" in hopes of one day her realizing you were the one all along.
Fuck that, that shit almost never works and you're an idiot if you think it will.
I mean that you're actually now her friend, you friendzone yourself. Wait... Now why if the actual fuck would you do this? One reason... She'll get to know you, and if she's attractive to you, she'll likely have friends who you also find attractive. And guess who's going to talk up the awesome guy who didn't hound the living shit out of her for being turned down?
Exactly... Use that shit to your advantage. You treat her like anyone else, like a sister. Listen, look out for her. Because she will get you laid... just not by her. Now I will say... there IS a chance she'll come around. But that's slim, don't assume it'll happen... assume it won't and be a mature fucking adult and be cool with that.
So in the scenario I outlined above, you ask her out for coffee. She says something like "Um, I'd like to but... I just don't know if you're my type." (A little more direct than most woman will be, but I'm generalizing here).
You say something like "Well, how about we sit, get some Starbucks, and you can decide later if I'm your type? If not; I'd like to think we can still be cool, right?" Obviously reword that for the situation and your style of speech. Still a possibility, but maybe not.
Fair point. Here's something to note for yourself. Its always the safest to try and stay away from someone you work with, or sit beside in class. I know it sucks, because being with that person on a day to day basis makes it very easy to start liking someone you think you connect with.
Ive had my experience where at a BestBuy that I used to work at, I ended up sleeping with 3 of the girls there. I was 20 at the time; one was 17, one 19, and one 23. Anyway, im sure you can figure out what happened. Word spreads like forest fire, and shit was awkward as fuck for a good couple months. I ended up quitting about 6 months after.. Not because of that though.
Honestly, it will be awkward for a time being... but it goes away.
All im trying to say is, if you really do LIKE the girl in your class, and dont just want to fuck her, then take it slow. Wanting to fuck a girl, rather than wanting to be with one is a completely different ball game. 100% different.
If you would like to be with her, you want her to know who you are before you start dating. She must be comfortable with you, before it can be something. In this case, take things slow. Nice, and slow. Nothing needs to be rushed in these situations my friend. The more you rush, the more you will stumble for words, stress over what you shouldnt and should have said, and it will make every second with awkward. Instead of paying attention to what shes saying, or taking in her cute laugh, you'll be focusing on "What the fuck do i say now!?"
Stop right there. Stop thinking about that shit. For example; you crack a joke and she laughs. Continued..........
>>601559568 Just practice, anon. You may just be a bit late getting into the game. I fucking guarantee you, if you just start talking to girls, you'll get better at dealing with them. Sure, you'll be shut down some, but those experiences will teach you a lot.
>>601568222 Oh and always keep in mind, if she's not into you and won't even give you the time of day to be a normal human being and hang out and get to know each other... fuck her; cause people that are THAT shitty aren't worth your time.
Laugh along with her. When the laughing stops, maybe let her know "Hahaha.. honestly, I never noticed before; your laugh is adorable". And then imitate it and make fun of it. "You sound like a chipmunk or something haha".
You want to compliment girls, which I just did (your laugh is adorable). You also then want to tease them, which i also just did. They know youre playing around, and they will laugh along if they have a sense of humor.
PRO TIP: Dont date a girl without a sense of humor. Life will be depressing.
Anyway man, the game you play with a girl is the slow and steady game. Its natural to be excited with it. Use that for your drive. Just pace yourself, go easy, listen to her, laugh with her, COMPLIMENT her, TEASE her...
>>601568496 Yeah this girl is incredibly hot, and I'd be super down to fuck her, but I sort of want to be in the friend zone with her anyway. I like having good friends who are girls because then you can hang out with Her friends.i envy one of my friends who is also friends with her. I always see her initiating the convos with him anf showing him things on her phone while in my situation I have to do all of the work
>>601568300 I agree with you, but that type of guy is still likely to have a physical confrontation. I live in new Orleans, so that's my viewpoint. Insecure men, which are nearly all of southern boys, will resort to a fight over a woman.
Perhaps this guy plays off like he isnt very interested in her? When a girl notices a guy she may find attractive isnt in to her, its natural for her to want to prove to herself that she can get the guy to like her.
Now im not saying you've lost the battle just yet, im just saying its good to expect that things wont work out sometimes. If you're constantly have to initiate the conversations with her, lay low. Stop. Say hi, do your thing. Dont ignore her, but dont start acting all desperate to start a pointless conversation about "Mannnn we were given so much homework last night! Fuuuck!" No one cares about that. She hears it from everyone.
My recommendation for you Sir, would be to lay low from her, and start looking elsewhere for now. Start flirting/befriending other girls. Keep in touch with her still, crack a joke here and there, but dont make everything all about her. You do you, and she'll do her.
This is important, remember it. Having confidence isnt always about how well you can approach girls, and how smooth of a talker you are. Having confidence is also the ability to not give a fuck about a girl who doesnt give a fuck about you, and walking away. Being able to move on from something that you THOUGHT was going somewhere, but isnt... is huge. Have confidence in yourself. Stop paying attention to the "other" guy she talks to. That fogs up shit in your head, and stresses you out.
Thats another thing dude; the more stressed you are, the less confident you will be. Smoke a joint, watch a movie and chill, jerk off, do what you need to do. Live as stress-free as you can. It shows on your face, which is a turn on. When you look relaxed and well kept, people want to be near you. You will be giving off good vibes.
>>601570261 >dress nice, have decent looks, and I'm wealthy That's faggotry man. No offense. But no wonder you would like more confidence.
Follow what you are passionate about. Sounds like you have the tools for that. Women want a man on a mission. They don't want to be the mission. They know how boring they truly are. They want you to take them with you, and save them from their boring lives.
Are you passionate about anything besides dressing/looking nice and women? Please don't say gaming. Make me hard.
>>601571105 Passionate about sports, the NBA, I want to pursue sports marketing or management in college. I am passionate about traveling, skiing, TV shows, movies, and love to be racist/talking shit about cringeworthy moments haha
>>601570019 By this do you mean, going out and building up experiences and things to talk about. Rather than not having things to talk about because all you did was sit on the couch all week. My brother is always traveling and going to places, so whenever we have family meals he always has some new experience to talk about
>>601571612 >traveling, skiing, Personally, I think this stuff is sexy. Maybe because I do that stuff. It's active. Anyone can watch TV. If you were a chick, you want to hear about TV or about the Alps? Cultivate the awesome sides of yourself and you will find that chicks are magnetized to you. Takes a few years but it is worth.
>>601572340 Yeah I guess. I use to be introvert, but now love talking to people especially in groups, but feel in 1 on 1s the pressure of owning your own conversation, rather than talking for hours in a group of 4
>>601572401 I can actually talk about things like Game of Thrones forever because I just watched it and love analyzing all the plots because I just watched it. I've had a convo about it for almost an hour before
So, then befriend her my friend. Wanting to be with someone, and wanting to be someones friend is another completely different ball game.
Being someones friend shouldnt be as hard or nearly as stressful as wanting to fuck or be with someone. Once again, you need to understand that some people might no be interested in being your friend. Thats just the way life is; use confidence and self-respect in yourself to get over that.
Otherwise, be friendly with her like you already are. Tease her. Crack jokes. Lightly push her even (as a joke, have fun with it). In terms of being friends with someone, dont be clingy. Im sure you can agree... Imagine that guy at school no one likes, trying to constantly talk to you, and be your friend. Do you care about what hes saying? No. Do you want him to stop talking? Yes. Are you doing to be his friend? Definitely not. Why? Because he tried to hard to talk to people, he tries to hard to be funny, he tries to hard to be the center of attention. Dont be that guy.
Relax yourself, be yourself. Be funny, be confident. What you need to do is learn when too much, is too much.
Lets say youre mid convo with her, you crack a joke, and she laughs. Perfect. End the conversation right there. "Haha anyway, I got some shit to do. See ya later!" Walk away.
You left her on a good note. Her last memory of you was now that funny as fuck joke you just told her.
If you want to be someones friend, act like you would want to be treated. Dont be too clingy, cause we all hate that; you do too. And dont be desperate. Be chilled, my friend.
>>601572839 It's weird though that in different classes, I have different personalities. In my class where I know 1 person, I usually keep to myself but in others, having just 3 people around me, makes me 100000x more confident because I get the blood flowing.
>>601573023 thanks for sticking by and helping me out. 1 more question. I usually do exactly what you said, talking to her occasionally, usually resulting in a fun conversation with some jokes, but I have 1 problem. We sit on the left side of the class and usually aren't allowed to move seats. Because everyone around us 2 are introverts and usually say noting, I feel like it's my responsibility to keep her entertained. when we are working on an assignment and she looks bored, I always fee pressured that I should be helping her enjoy the 1 hour because I am the only one who can
>>601573227 I'm not a chatty cathy one on one with people. I've gotten comfortable with silence. It's a good skill. If I don't have something to say than I don't. But my curiosity gets the best of me. I love to find things that me and women don't have in common. That is my current favorite interpersonal game.
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