What would you guys do if you could freeze time? i said that

> fuck the teacher

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We Can't.

[spoiler] Fuck all girls, steal money [/spoiler]

yeah, kinda feels like you missed the main mark with that one op

besides the basic shit like steal money and cars and fuck bitches.

whats the most fucked up thing you can come up with,

>>600633968
I guess everybody would wake up one day with a slit throat. Unless i age during a time stop. Then I guess I just live out my life in a time stop travelling and living off other peoples shit.

>>600633968
If I could turn back time if I could if a way

Replace all samples at the sperm bank with mine and rival Genghis Khan for most genetic offspring.

>>600633968
Sauce of the pic ?

>>600633968
Is that just a rough version of the greatest cumshot of all time pasta?

>>600633968
Hottest TEACHER?


Fuck that, no. Hottest freshman.

>>600633968

Assuming I could also unfreeze time? Would be tempting to rape, but I probably wouldn't because morality.

I would just use it to get places 'instantly' most of the time. Would take an extra hour in the morning before work or so to chill, maybe go for a walk.

It would be impossible not to use it in fights to fuck people up. Stop them mid punch then just get behind them, rock the kidneys a few times, punch them in the face, leave, then unfreeze.

I wonder how long it would take for people to figure out that time was freezing though? You could get away with it forever if you never did anything too public. If you went around cumming inside people though they would fucking notice.

>>600634970
yeah you can freeze and unfreeze time whenever you want.

ive already thought of rape and stuff and fucking every bitch in school but i thought the teacher want was pretty funny

>>600634970
Well, you could rape a girl without her having to experience it.


Rape is only immoral because of the supposed "trauma" feminazis have brainwashed into believing it induces.

>>600634970
>I wonder how long it would take for people to figure out that time was freezing though?
Probably about as soon as you froze time on camera. You'd have to restart time in the exact position, or there'd suddenly be a jump in the picture.

>>600635200
You could circle around people while recording, like in the Matrix, or even the opening scene in Swordfish.

>>600635200

yea but lets be honest no one is gonna believe it they'll just think it was edited

>>600635200
glitch - technology isn't perfect, people wouldn't jump to time-freezing until like the 8th time or something

>>600635193
So you wouldn't mind if some nigger rape you in the ass. Everybody would know except you

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>>600634920

>freeze time
>kill myself

I would use it to go back in time and stop the dinosaurs and caveman ironages. Maybe even event the wheel but make it oblong not rounf lol

>>600633968
>Take money as I needed it
>Never work again
>Whatever the fuck I want for the rest of my life

>>600635193
*have brainwashed *us* into believing

>freeze time
> get 2 people naked
> position them as if they were having sex
> unfreeze time

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>>600635436
well played

>>600633968
Learn how to perfectly sever spinal cords to leave a person paralyzed. Proceed to take my knife in public and paralyze people at my choosing.

>>600635417
Who said I wouldn't mind, retard?


Not everything I mind is traumatizing. You sound like a pansy.

I would go to a school, freeze time before teacher walks inside the classroom, undress everyone and then unfreeze time and watch everyone's faces

>>600635448
Are you clinically retarded? Because you sure sound so.

>>600633968
Fuck your mom in front of everyone at your 16th birthday party and violate every hole...twice

>>600635193
What's the point in raping a bitch if she doesn't know?

rape all the little girls

>>600635625
Funny, that's what happened last year.

>>600635614
no why what was retarted about my quote?

>>600635614
"event the wheel"


haha

>>600634456
Underrated post

>>600635436
underrated post

>>600635658
Cumming buckets, for one.


Well, for all.

>>600635581
you sound like you like nigger cocks in your ass

>>600635675
Yes. Lick some hot little puffy pussy.

>>600635658
to get your rocks off, duh.

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>>600635436
/thread

>>600635830
So because I would mind nigger cocks in my ass, this means I wouldn't mind nigger cocks in my ass?


Go back to tumblr, feminist-sympathizing beta pussy.

>freeze time til I find a way to go back in time
>find OP's mother
>fuck her
I'm your father OP, always knew you'd ask yourself that freezing time question someday

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Would I age during these time freezes?
Can I alter things? Like open doors? Turn a water faucet on? In it's most basic form, freezing time would just make it possible for me to freeze a moment for everyone, including myself. My body would be immobile, but I would be aware. Come on OP, clarify this scenario goddamnit

If I age, then I wouldn't do it, it would add up.
If not, then we are in business.

I would never be late for anything, I could literally never miss a deadline.

I'd do some of the sexual shit too, yeah but probably not to much, because of moral reasons. Also, i think you exaggerate how awesome that would be, it'd get boring fast.

I'd steal a shitload of stuff though, save tons of money on groceries. Also I'd mess with people

haunt the whitehouse to influence world events

>>600633968
I wouldn't fuck with people too much, I'm not really on bad terms with anyone right now so there's no one I'd really want to fuck with. I would probably just steal a lot. Anything I could physically get access to would be as good as mine.

>>600633968
I often think about how cool it would be to freeze time, but the more I think about it the more I realise that actually freezing time would create a lot of problems, for example when time is frozen that means that all matter is no longer and can no longer move, which means the air is too dense to move through, and even if you could you would create a total vacuum which when time restarted you would create a sonic boom. Anything you touch would be hit by something moving faster than light and would probably explode (you might even split atoms). Because you are moving faster than light, then light probably wouldn't enter into your eyes so you would be blind, all vibrations have stopped so you'd be deaf to anything the isn't happening inside your head, and you'd probably sheer your skin off just by moving.

But ignoring that I'd probably wander around inside people's houses and go through their stuff because I'm a nosy fuck.

>>600636062
Also I would go around stores, switching out items from the shoppers baskets and also add some lube to every basket. Would be, as OP put it, "hella" fun.

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>Steal all the money and gold i could.
>Be hella rich and live in luxury.
>Suddenly the IRS starts looking into my accounts and money movements.
>Oh shit, i'm so foking done.
>Get Repo'ed
>Go to court.
>Sentenced to 15 years in prison.
>Make a friend named Red in prison.
>Talk him about Zihuatanejo.
>Get cuck'd and abused by the prison governor.
>Finally, snap my shit and freeze time again.
>Exit the prison through the fucking door.
>Steal massively again, got to Zihuatanejo, fucki mexican bitches while waiting for Red.

>>600636099
wich lighthouse>

>>600633968
i'd probably never be late to anything ever again

>>600636142
nigga drop the xannies

>>600635582
This x 10

>>600635088
do whatever I want when I want, extra time for everything you usually lost time on, also steal cigarettes, food, beer; and weed or any drug I want from local dealers, I could study two university degree freezing the time while I spent the day playing vidya so people will think I am a genius, win every fight being more quick than opponent, inmunity to noticed bullets as I can dodge them and much much more...
Control time even if it's only freeze or unfreeze = you become god
>also fuck all the bitches I want, legal or not iykwim

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>>600635448
Caveman ironages?

Oh my fucking god, you need a basic history or archeology course. The Iron age lasts from about 500 BC to about 1000 AD, there were no fucking cavemen during the iron age.

>>600634209
Doesn't work on /b/ anymore.. where you've come from m8
>>600633968
Learn everything I can (interlectually and physically, I got all the time in the world to train)
Avoid troubles
Have fun

>rape

>>600633968
>be in Vegas
>Poker table
>High stakes
>wait for someone else to go All-In
>freeze time
>walk over to see his cards
>if he's got better cards, swap my cards with better cards from the deck
>walk back to my place
>unfreeze

>>600634380

Edgy teen detected

>>600635436
kek

>>600633968
>freeze time in public area
>make tiny hole in every drink that I can see someone drinking
>unfreeze time
>"wtf, how am i getting coke on myself? Is there a whole in this can? How come i didn't notice that before"
>this happens x 100

hehehe...they never suspected a thing...

>become pornstar
>fuck chick
>moneyshot time
>cum
>freeze time
>wait ten minutes
>unfreeze time
>immediately cum again
>repeat a thousand times
>bitch gets drowned in a cum hurricane

>>600636289
Better to just fold and only call all ins when your natural hand beats your opponent.
Fuck the deck switching and such... as everythings on camera it will be hard enough sitting back down in the exact spot and position as it is. Don't wanna glitch that matrix.

>>600633968
If I had the ability to stop time, I would become a porn star.

Why, you ask?

Well, right when I'm about to release my clam chowder all over my actresses face, I would freeze time and take a break.

Then after my break, I would dump some more baby-gravy on her face and freeze time again. I would keep doing this for what feels like centuries. Just thousands of times of me unfreezing long enough to dump mayonnaise and refreezing again.

Then after all of that time of releasin' the semen, I would unfreeze time. then lo and behold, the world's longest and most unexplainable moneyshot with the girl being buried in the Elmer's glue looking more like a sticky Jabba the Hutt type creature than a girl after the multiple houred length moneyshot.

To top it off, my hair and beard would continue to grow the whole time so as I'm spewing out this monumental load of gusher juice and my hair would gray as I aged away.

people would talk about the cumshot that changed the world for millenniums to come

>>600636237
He doesn't need to attend a course to learn those simple factoids, faggot.

>>600636417
wat

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>>600636289
this seems like the most easiest way to get the money

>>600636423
>>600636454
repost hivemind

Assuming I can freeze/unfreeze time at will, I'd probably set lots of fires and miscellaneous mayhem like that. Also, chili peppers on clits, anyone?

>>600636454
you got inb4'd by this green text m8, better luck next time
>>600636423


:^)

never unfreeze it.
Fuck whoever i want, when i want, everywhere on the fucking planet.
Eat whatever i would like.

Have some puppet master game, set people in awkward places/situations.

Act as a god, kill all those that seems dangerous to humanity.

And when i finally die, i would have impregnated millions of women, killed another million of assholes, and the whole civilisation would wander what in the actual fuck happened.

>>600636289
when you freeze time camera's don't record you moron, that's not how it works

>>600636468
His glaring lack of knowledge needs to be treated,

him thinking cavemen lived during the iron age is symptomatic of something much greater.

>>600636454
>>600636423
Saw this post like four year ago

>freeze time ablility
>go to kentucky fried chicken
>order food
>freeze time
>if its perfect just eat it otherwise unfreeze time
>wait 5 mins
>check kfc again
>is it perfect than end
>else goto wait 5 mins

>>600636607
yeah but when they start to record again, you would probably be in another position

>>600636417
>freeze time in public area
>lick the palms of every person's hands in the area
>unfreeze time
>"ew, why are my palms to moist?"
> this happens x100

Fools, they'll never figure it out...

I would become
STOPMAN! THE IRON FIST OF JUSTICE!

>>600636242
And probably
>make the world a better place by advancing our technology since I can study somethibg forever (that is on the basis that I dont age while time is frozen)

>then destry all the nukes

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>>600636697

>order food
>freeze time

how they make food if time is frozen?

>>600633968
Probably keep shitposting and watching anime

>>600636761
>freeze time in public area
>show up with some sort of shaving device
>pull everyone's pants down
>shave every crotch; man, woman and child (if it's a hairy child)
>pull everyone's pants back up
>unfreeze time
>nothing at first
>they go home and take a shower
>"wtf, i dont remember shaving my crotch, oh well whatever"

And none were the wiser....

I would go to the sandnigger lands, freeze time, kill everyone I can find, unfreeze time and watch the rest of the world freak out

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>>600634456
that would take a lifetime of wanking.

nobody in 2015 is that committed.

you would probably get to the sperm bank, and guzzle all the samples like a horny slut taking jello shots at a frat party.

this is one of my favorite fantasies.
if i could freeze time i would unload about 50 bank vaults, stock pile an arsenal. fuck every last chick ive ever wanted to. have fun with people, i.e. take their clothes off and make orgy scenes at offices, pools, birthday parties, baby showers, post offices. and then create black mail evidence for added power. make the president goatse on national television.

fuck i would just do anything i wanted to.

>>600636999
trips are truths

>>600636722
yeah imagine that
>sorry sir but you're arrested because freezing time and cheating are illegal here.

Follow my mother and stop time to kill every dealer she tried to buy cocaine to. Manage to get her out of drugs

>>600636761
>freeze time in public area
>rip out a pube and lay it on top of nose
>"Where the hell does that come from?"
>Do this to everyone in the area

Dorks, they'll never know..

>>600636697
Psudocode foever

>>600636621
It's not symptomatic of a need to attend a course in a classroom full of a bunch of faggots to learn something that could easily be learned in the comfort of one's home, for free.

>>600637101
Aw Lord, right in the feels

>>600637053
You could clone your sperm en masse.

>>600636779
Kek, that's actually not a bad hentai.. if only there's more women in it

>go to another country
>steal money and gold
>living the dream

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>>600637235
that would take a lifetime of googleing, and sciencing.

>nobody in 2015 is that committed

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Inb4 epic time stopping money-shot.

>>600636854
fuck this is the best one

>>600637608
Enslave a cum scientist to do the work for you.

>>600636999
>freeze time in public area
>show up with dozens of nokia phones
>replace everyone's phone with a nokia brick thing
>unfreeze time
>"wtf, where is my iphone? Why do I have this brick thing now?"
>This happens x 100
>conspiracy revolving around nokia starts up
>people claim to have been brain-washed by nokia
>nokia sales/stock plummet
>buy as much nokia stock as I can
>watch news
>freeze time whenever i see something bad going down
>go to scene of incident
>improve scene with nokia phones
>replace guns at muggings and robberies with nokia phones
>put out fires with piles of nokia phones
>during a car chase would jam nokia phones under the gas and brakes of offending driver's car
>nokia's reputation skyrockets
>stock worth billions
>sell stock
>live life on my own island with all wants and desires

thanks nokia

>>600637226
lol


>2015 and faggots still care about their moms

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>>600636423
>>600636454

>>600633968

I would kick a lot of sand nigger ass. Thats for sure

>>600637958
No, you're right. Those pieces of dog shit need to go.

>>600634920
Yeah i'd probably pedo it up in this bitch. That's not saying that I'd ever pedo it up irl, but lemme tell ya why. Thing is, I do have an age cut off, but if it weren't for social repercussions it'd be younger than most, and the ONLY reason is because I personally know some girls who are more physically developed than any girls their age should be, and who are more involved than any girls their age are supposed to be. Now, I wouldn't get physical with them in any circumstances in real life because i wouldn't want them to be in any way hurt or changed by my actions, but if I could stop time and have my fun without making any impact, sure, fuck yeah, i'd go for these girls, cuz even if they're not physically adults they're physically mature enough to trigger my adult mechanisms and turn me the fuck on. But, if my choices were to damage an underage girl or have my fun with a physically mature teacher who wouldn't be really too affected by my actions, I'd definitely take the teacher, because I did have this one teacher in highschool, and I know she wasn't entirely oblivious to how much we all adored her incredible body. I know she knows how much I stared at her when I stayed behind to take the test, alone, that I was out sick for originally, because i saw her looking back at me, and i saw her smirk. I know she knows I wanted her, especially because when I saw her at the mountain I work at she was all about smiling at me and making an impact. I guess though that's the advantage of hindsight, knowing how things are for sure without having to worry about why they might be that way.

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>>600637724
>Enslave a cum scientist to do the work for you
>Enslave a cum scientist to do the work
>Enslave a cum scientist
>cum scientist

you mean I should enslave you?

you will be my cum scientist anon.

>>600638276
We should all stop lying to ourselves and each other and acknowledge that we'd all pedo it up if there were absolutely no social or legal repercussions.

>>600638476
/thread

greatest thread Ive made, was expecting a little more fucked uppery but you've pleased me /b/

>>600638685
Fuck off back to reddit you little shit

>>600633968
Where does this leave you in terms of interacting with every day objects? For example, am I able to simply jump into a car and drive it, or will time being frozen prevent anything from working?

>>600636308
now now, it's only humane to do some population control

>>600637759
holy shit someone give this man the ability to stop time

>>600638779
everything is usable its just people that freeze i guess i should of clarified it.

once the time is frozen everything is usable water can run and fire can breathe everything works if it doesn't have a pulse

>>600638779
Just walk, fat ass.

If time was frozen, you wouldn't be able to breathe because air would be stuck.

Go to a concert, freeze time, steal everyone's tickets, unfreeze

>>600639062
in that case I think everyone would notice
>all the clocks are 4 hours late

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>>600638773
lets all give OP a round of applause, this is his best thread he ever made. good job OP!

>>600639209
gtfo op

>>600639085
No, you'd be able to manipulate matter. It just would not follow the laws of inertia.

>>600639209
fuck off

>>600639205
well then that would make you have to control yourself and not freeze for four hours.

keep it in the minutes

>>600634456
Why not go to the source and impregnate women the old fashion way?

>>600633968
I certainly wouldn't do dumb shit like that which would get me caught.

I'd probably try to find a way to make money with the ability and not give myself away, and then just live like a king for the rest of my life. Maybe manipulate lottery results if possible.

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>>600638841

>>600635193
Rape is no fun if they don't remember it. I like walking past them with a smile or a wink.

>>600639564
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>>600633968
i would rather have invisibility. I would rape so many.

I'd try and poo into everyone's mouth, so when time unfreezes everyone would be like "dude wtf?"

>>600635527
I like the way you think

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>>600639285
Neckbeard Intensifies

>>600633968
I would build a spaceship and explore the galaxy. I'd have infinite time at my disposal. I'd also solve most world problems by instantly inventing solutions to every contemporary problem and solve every war by taking away weapons and world hunger by insta feeding everyone, clean the ocean, air, etc. Shit man, I'd even have time to fuck your mom a trillion times and drown you in a sea of my own cum.

>>600639817
i said something similar to a friend.

i said i would go to a hospital and shit on everyones mouth so when they wake up or i freeze time they'd be like like dude wtf,
or and even sweeter idea that i jsut though shit on a newborn.

that would be pretty cool,

>>600636138
or just take that money and live in Ecuador fucking hot locals

>>600639597
It's not AS fun. Still fun, though.

>>600640000
nice quass

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>>600639564
>>600639637

tips m8

>>600633968
I would just steal the money. The bitches would come naturally after this...

>>600636761
>lick palms of every person's hands
>die from disease day late
>i done fucked up

>>600633968
I'm a musician.
I'd freeze time for a few hours to practice making music and master instruments.
and of course find some beautiful women to fuck

Find a guy you hate who's currently in a relationship. Freeze time when he's about to have sex. Jack him off and make him cum before he even touches the girl. Keep doing this untill the girl dumps him for being "extremly premature". Rumours will start spreading. He will forever be alone.

would steal all the money

>>600640374
But you'll also be a faggot.

>>600640374
yeah thats gay

>>600640448
>can freeze time.
>jacks off a dude

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>>600640374
>man I fucking hate this guy
>I'll freeze time and jerk him off
>that'll show him

>>600640448
>>600640567

If you're not willing to jack someone off to ruin their life then you don't really hate them

>>600634456

but what if you are related to genghis Khan? then all of your offspring are related to him...

>>600633968
I would stop the time and do what I want without pushing play again.

>freeze time
>everything is frozen including you
>can't unfreeze time
>everything is stuck for the rest of eternity
>you're a dickhead

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>>600640633

>>600640648
This might happen millions times a day already. We just don't know about it because time unfreezes after a certain time, even if it's a million years.

>>600636417
you either have to be an old fella or younger than 12 to think or this and post it

>>600636138
That sounds like it would be a good plot for a movie

>>600633968
if you freeze time hypothetical, youre stuck in stasis - forever (or never, thats the question).

>>600640737
Go to bed

blah blah fuck hot bitches in the butt blah blah what did you want from me?

Whatever the fuck I want.

>>600633968
sit and play video games all day

I would just lick all kinds of preteen white pussy. Maybe also a beaner or two.

>>600637053
>that would take a lifetime of wanking.
lmao

>>600633968
something like what the guy did in "Cashback" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siXe9XC723s

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>>600640859

>>600640757
Guys, was this a failed attempt to midfuck?

>>600634456
>underrated of 2015

>>600636>>600636562
Sauce pic?

>go to restaurant
>watch somebody put some food on their fork and bring it to their mouth
>freeze time
>move the food from their fork back to their plate
>unfreeze time
>repeat

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>>600640950
>midfuck

>>600636237
Now, ~this~ is where I lose control as to who's trolling who.

>>600641050
Ah, fuck off, fagboi.

>>600641133
Elaborate, Einstein.

>>600636697
>than
>than
>than

>>600636237
hes probably american ...
you cant blame him for just having 400 years of history including 'black history', lmfao

>Wait till summertime
>Freeze time
>Steal the clothes from everyone who lives in my city
>Steal all the clothes from stores
>Steal all the clothes from houses
>Store all these clothes in a warehouse
>Burn down the warehouse
>City makes the news because no one wears clothes anymore
>Other cities follow suit
>Live in a world where everyone is naked

>>600633968
Freeze time, destroy all religious icons/books/places then make mecca and jerusalem into fireballs that spell "where is your god now". Imagine that shit happening instantly.

>>600637638
the hair comment makes that.

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you guys are all faggots.

I would freeze time, and inject every neckbeard, brony, and furry with bath salts, paint their faces with walking dead style makeup, and clothe them in zombie garb. I would then gather supplies to live in a remote cabin for weeks, and soon after unfreeze time. while the rest of the world is fighting off giant hoardes of faggots, I'm browsing 4 chan and reading the comments.

>Create a bill to bring back slavery
>Surely it won't get past congress
>Go to D.C.
>Freeze time
>Sign the bill in every member's name
>Watch as the race war unfolds

>>600641738
YOURE STUCK IN STASIS FAGGOT
but other than that, i give you 300 internet for your idea

>>600641738
>inject them with bath salts
>implying bath salts make people act like zombies
oh to be young and innocent

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>>600641843
you can keep your internet shekels,

in this hypothetical imaginary scenario, I am the one who clocks.

>>600641405
And they call Americans retarded...

>>600641454
Are you sure you would be willing to withstand all the old woman saggy tits, small penises, stinky shitturds, stained arseholes, disgusting arm hairs and such?

>>600642039
unless there is a magic zombie drug, bath salts are the best we've got.

>>600636999
>pull childs pants down
>shave it
kek

>>600642325
I was with you until you said "arseholes" and I realized you're from the UK.

>>600642325
I thought about that but if i leave anyone with clothes then they can donate to the hot women, either no one has clothes or everyone has clothes.

>>600642467
topkek

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>>600634970

>can freeze and unfreeze time
>still goes to work

>>600642798
xD

>>600633968

I'd pour ragu into every vagoo!

>>600635436

Fucking kek

Create a human centipede and unleash it in the mall

>>600636562
But still.. Who is she?

If you "froze time" if you even twitched a muscle you would disintegrate instantly causing a massive shockwave killing everyone for miles. Relatively you would be moving at close to the speed of light. The friction from the air would burn you up.

>>600633968
>goes to high school
>wants to fuck a teacher
gtfo underage

>>600642960
kek

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>>600636999

Nothing. I wouldn't be able to see because there'd be no light moving. I'd fly off the earth because momentum. It would be cold because of no heat transfer. Basically, physics would be fucked and I would die.

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>>600641575
Underr8d post.

probably put deep heat in my mates fleshlight