28 Single working and making decent money, but hate my job rarely do anything exciting anymore, just come home, turn on a ballgame and drink a couple beers occasionally get laid, but only with some strained effort, and only with crazy gutter trash
so not too bad right...?
Well until today. I hate facebook, but had to use it today for this work thing:
> look up a couple profiles > look at hot fucking bitch with DD tits that I passed up on when I was 16 > God damnit, why did I not lock that down!? > See all these people I know happy, married, with kids and cool jobs and shit > be me, single, living alone, living a meaningless life
Fuck I feel like shit. I was once normal. All the pieces were there. Howd I get into this weird place where I feel detached, don't care about anything, and am the most comfortable by myself surfing the web for hours...?
Don't worry about the opportunities you missed, or you'll miss more while you're bawing.
If you're unfulfilled with work, look for a new job. Don't immediately ragequit, but make steps toward a change.
If you're not meeting any women that are the elusive combination of interested, available, and interesting, find a hobby that might allow you to meet more people.
My friend who was a turbo virgin through his mid twenties just got engaged. He had to work on himself for a while to get to the point where he found someone he wanted who also wanted him. It's not easy, but don't just admit defeat.
>>600192199 You have to swim through a sea of shit, but you can find decent people at any age. There are plenty of nice women who have been dicked over time after time who are thinking to themselves, "All of the good guys must be married by now."
I'm actually back in school because I hated where my life was going. I'm actually enjoying learning about something I am interested in too. I feel your pain about FB though. I deleted it a long time ago, to depressing. Pretty much all my friends are either married now or have kids or both. I'm pretty much all alone all the time now.
>get arrested at 23 for third degree felony assault >end up pleading to gross misdemeanor assault >wake up call...or was it >one year later be out with 2 friends >sober cab. Trying to be good. >one friend gets in fight >mfw broke it up. I'm on probation >get charged with third degree felony assault >plea down to 3rd degree gross misdemeanor rioting >be 26 >finish useless social science degree >can't get job due to first violent conviction >sacrifice dreams of being an RN, being an officer in an armed force, lose initial girlfriend and have been pushing away quality women ever since >currently on house arrest from the rioting conviction >get out March 4th
I have to get out of what I am doing. I'm working on it.
what really messed me up is that when I got out of school in 2010, I couldn't find a job for shit, and really got slapped across the face financially. I know what it is like to be desperate for work, and it sux.
Why? Why am I like this.. Its just totally empty. It always seemed like I HAD to do this or that and now I just dont give a fuck. Its all shit anyways. No matter how exciting the day is, you end up back here, alone and pissed off. Staring at 4chan...
thanks man. that's what my college therapist told me.
looking at Facebook is like when women look at Cosmo and feel shitty about their bodies. The image is a 1sec snapshot of the highlight of someones life, and not the 23hrs 59min and 59 sec of bad shit they went thru.
>be 23 years old >literally no friends to hang out with >failed uni >working at a factory doing same shit over and over for shit money >to top it off realize im a homo >everyday suicide looks more appealing
>>600191464 Yeah man. I feel you. College was a waste of time. I'm going to a trade school this year. Electrical field. Gotta wake up someday and realize your job doesn't define you. I don't know what to do for socializing though.... there doesn't seem to be a good way to meet people; let alone a female that isn't a total ruin.
>>600193620 I've been in college since I was 22. I'm 28 now. Sad part is though I have nothing to show for it, no diplomas or anything. I keep getting loans then drinking my loans away. This time though I think it's different. I actually feel like a real loser and want to better myself for once.
>>600195376 I'm not from the UK, I wish I lived there because at least I could have a job. I had one in 2008 and I thought I'd be happy finally but then the financial crisis came and I couldn't reach a shore again.
Thanks anyway for wishing me luck, it means to me more than you think.
>>600196349 Spain. I live in Madrid. Even with the crisis I see a lot of people being extremely happy which makes me feel quite miserable. It hurts to see teenagers with their cute girlfriends and all of that, while me with 30 I never could have "that" life.
There's starting to be more work, but for weak and "old" ("too late") people like me it's almost impossible now. Before the crisis there was more work, but you know what, I don't even think that could heal me as it did in the past though, so it doesn't really matter anymore. Damn, I guess I'm not making any sense. Good night anyway, thanks for the chat.
>>600190776 38 y/o anon here. Been here since the Cracky-chan days. You need to start setting yourself up for a comfortable retirement. Check out biz and look for the poster 'ihazmillions' or some such shit. Follow his guidelines for conservative long term investment.
You also need to start spoiling yourself. Start hitting up 4 and 5 star resturants, learn a thing or three about fine dining.
While you're making these leaps n bounds, do some Fucking traveling. San diego, Portland, seattle, orlando, new orleans,minneapolis/st paul, Chicago, DC, NYC. Take the plane, take a train. Do something outside your comfort zone.
I've got all this male white privilege and freedom and here I sit on 4chan while taking a shit.
I have no reason to get out of bed in the morning. I literally tried to think of one today and I couldn't. I've got work sure, but today was my day off and I couldn't think of anything worth rolling out of bed for. I eventually got up just to take a piss and went about the routine. Ate some food, cleaned my place up a bit, watched some netflix. But underneath it all was that nagging feeling I had this morning. "I have no reason to get up today."
No fulfilling hobbies, no friends, no girls.
I can't tell if I've got nothing to do because I'm depressed or if I'm depressed because I've got nothing to do.
>>600193079 I would like to say however that if you're in a situation that seems hopeless, it's not. There are many different lives you can live. As I said, I was in college to be a nurse, had a great girl who had the same dream, everything was looking up. Even though that, and a lot of my freedom for the past 3 years was taken, you've got to keep looking ahead. Any one of you can change your life right now. It's about progress not perfection. Do something different today. Exercise, look into hobbies around town. Community education classes (you meet cute girls at the cooking and language classes). What am I doing with my twice-shattered life? I'm going to get a restaurant job, start working at an esoteric mushroom grower, and take arabic classes (my 4th language) to keep busy. I'm also starting an herbal tea and guided plant foraging tour company. Never even knew about this before everything changed. what is to come is better than what has gone before. Live by that.
I took a trip to Spain once and spent 4 weeks in Madrid.
I know exactly what you are talking about. So many of the rich and good looking Spanish youth just party and dance all the time, and act like everything is so great, and so many things will be handed to them.
but overall there is so so much corruption, social, political, moral. Spain has some serious issues.
I came to discover that nearly none of spanish men are loyal to their wives/gf's.
seems like kinda a heaven-hell type place.
no offense but i would not want to live there. Id rather be in germany for example. they may be kind of cold, and kind of arrogant, but ultimately they are loyal and classy, and seem to strive for a society where the right things happen to good people.
>>600190776 Quit your job, sell your house, take all the money and go to Vegas.
But seriously, quit your job. Go pick up the most recent issue of GQ and read the article on quitting. It will give you some perspective. You're not letting your employer down and you're not letting yourself down (unless you do it wrong). You need to make a change, and I suggest the first change you make is to delete your Facebook.
At least for a month, go technology cold. Get off your phone, get out of your house, and really take a good look around you. Facebook has this horribly negative effect of drawing you in and making you think that the shit you're seeing actually means something.
Had you not seen pics of Double D Sheree you wouldn't know that she's off getting fucked by some guy, but does that mean it wasn't happening anyway?
You don't need to know everything that's going on all the time. For example:
>be me a year ago >delete Facebook due to similar situation, ex girlfriend is a NBA cheerleader, seeing her all fuckin' happy is seriously getting me down, I had that and now I don't >plus I have too much going on to constantly stalk, this shit isn't healthy, it's hard to meet and take a girl seriously when you want to check another girl's Facebook, that's messed up >couple months passes, I'm feeling really good about life >when I run into people, I have no idea what's happening to them these days so I ask >then we have something to talk about >life is dramatically more social >start feeling really good, ready to get back out and meet girls, so I kick it with my buddy on a Friday and let him take me on his rounds >work our way through clubs and bars, socializing, feeling really normal again >meet this super cute girl with fire engine red dyed hair >she's pale, but her hair is red and her lips match her hair and it's giving me a boner >flirt with her >she looks me up on Facebook, no profile >what did you say your last name was? >why? >I'm trying to add you on FB
How can a 25 year old single male with no college get a decent office job? I'm a correctional officer and I hate it. I've been doing it for about 4 years now, I wanted to become a police officer and then a detective. That was my goal but now I'm starting to become weary about law enforcement. I just want a decent 9-5 jobs with weekends off.
>>600198975 hey CO. Hope you're one of the good ones and not a complete inhuman dick like a couple of the COs I had. you should go to college, it'll show you how fucked our retribution-based justice system is and you won't want to be a cop anymore. Maybe you'll do something that actually helps and contributes to society.
>>600198713 >oh, I deleted that shit, have too much going on to waste time on it >she's is intrigued, she knows I have friends because I know people here, so I'm not a weirdo murderer >how about you just give me your number and we'll go get coffee later in the week? >number in my phone >we flirt more, getting closer, definitely hitting it off, might be making her coffee tomorrow morning >she kisses me, then waits for me to react, kiss her back, make out with her, we're really getting into it in the corner booth by the bar >she gets a text, oh yay, my friends are here, you can meet them all >rad >signal my buddy, he comes over with shots and joins us >friends show up >who's in the group? my ex >in fact, it's the smarter half of her squad >this girl i'm making out with is on the squad >laugh internally >say hi to my ex, girl looks...quizzical... drags me off for a minute >she's my ex, we dated for about six months, nothing too serious, haven't seen her in months >ok, cool, should we get out of here? >yes >go to my place, bone >wake up, make her coffee >get text from ex >"you definitely have a type. how are you?" >booya. just won the breakup.
basically what I'm saying is get the fuck off your computer and go make some friends. Do something new. Quit your job, get a new job, fuck a girl, build something, break something, go running. Just shake things up a LOT and see what shakes loose, you might be surprised how much better things get when you make a change.
I'm making one in five days. Moving out of my beautiful house with long time roommates into a place that's on the other side of the alley. Roommate's dogs bark all day and night and I can't study and they shit in the house at least 4x per week, so I'm leaving. Why tolerate this shit when a small change will make such a huge difference?
Op you need an hobby. I wished i was single with no kids. 37 have what most thjnk is a "good" job. Fucking hate it somedays. Have to warch money cause those little fuckers cost it. They are cute from around 2-5 then ok till 10. When they get around 13 time to bust balls and kill kids. Get you a house and build a shop. Find sonething you enjoy doing. Shit like wood shop, working on cars, repair electronics, computers something man.
>>600200050 Congratulations? The violent charge was for helping some girl getting her lights knocked out after bar close by a stranger. She ran away after I intervened, understandably, and thus the witness was gone and I'm stuck with the guy I put in the CPR recovery position and cops that don't believe me. Don't be so quick to judge. You don't live my life and I don't live yours.
about to turn 28 this year, got sick and had anxiety for 3 years, my mind has gone to total hell. Only recently have got my shit together, stopped doing drugs and looking for a job, as for women I don't think its a big problem, man can get young women very easily, the problem is really how to make a living and also be healthy
>>600200627 That one wasnt me, but your attitude is the exact type of person who made the worst type of CO. You should reevaluate your life if youre capable of it. I kid you not, I'd rather be who I am with a criminal record than be you and be a CO.
>>600198875 I'm an investment neophyte, but ive watched the market for over a decade. ihazmillions knows his shit and can give good advice on portfolio diversification.
As for traveling, you can do it for a lot of reasons. Not n heavy one night stands with girls , see what the corners of the country hold.
With eating, have you ever had a 5 course meal with wine pairings aND dropped 300 on it? Have you ever tried lardo, or sweatmeats?
Your life can be filled with experiances. You can invest yourself into them. Let the guys and girls out there who want to breed , do so. You can have a kind of life where they'll say "man i wish I could do that" while they're cleaning up dogshit off of the floor while changing a diaper. If you want kids, wait till you're mid late 30s so you can say you've actually lived, then find yourself some sweet Thang with an education and a paycheck of her own, get a prenup, and adopt or have a passel of kids who will one day look at your life in awe as an example of how to 'do things right'...or just continue to enjoy a full and singular lifestyle where you control your own destiny at all times.
Just make the choice to grow, op. It'll be scary at times, but the fuckers out there who were too afraid to take a chance and risk something never once got what they wanted...tthey decided to live off of scraps.
>>600190776 Life is what you make it anon. Find your same job in another country. Challenge yourself to do it for 1, 2 years just for a bit of fun. I ended up taking a job in Mexico and was genuinely scared for my safety leading up to it and I am glad I did. Made awesome friends and I now work in China making incredible bank for doing 1/2 of what I used to do and I've worked in Europe and the Americas.
>>600190776 you're 28 and complaining you aren't married?
Lemme tell you something Sonny, being single is the greatest thing on earth. Being married is hell. Your moral fiber is stripped away, bleeding as life passes you by.
Divorce is a step to happiness, but not without cost. 75% of your paycheck will go to her, and child support. She claims it's because she was used to a certain lifestyle, which we all know is complete bullshit (lazy whore).
Trust me, you're not missing out. Stay single forever...fuck whoever you want with no strings attached...for those strings will strangle your every essence, until your soul is colorless.
>be me, 26 >work a good job but I get home and dont do shit >constantly on facebook seeing people with their 'ahppy' lives >realize one day that everyone is full of shit and just post it to feel better >delete facefuck >within months just happier overall >saving up money, buy whatever the fuck I want >run into old friend, shes asking me why I quit facebook, blah blah >tell her I just couldn't stand it anymore >we go our for drinks, fuck >ex gf contacts me, hears about the girl i met, wants to get back together >fuck no, life is great >going out with friends almost every weekend >started actually doing projects on my house making it more appealing to visiktors/myself
Couldn't be happier. Here's something, this will sound gay as shit but watch the movie "yes man' and actually try to live by that code. When people ask you to go out, do it. That's not how I came to who I am now, but looking back, it's similar.
>tl;dr, get the fuck off face book and get bitches.
>>600190776 Go to a club. Or go to a library. Or a mall. Just somewhere General to find some girls dude. They aren't just gonna come to you. Don't complain about not being excited if you aren't gonna do anything besides work. Don't get married til you're like 30, have some buddies that got married in there 20s and they kinda regret being cuffed.
>>600200554 Some weird chicks might get seriously weirded out by it. If a girl is breaking up with you because you don't have a FACEBOOK? I really don't know what to tell you there.
Unless you're trying to date girls that are significantly younger than you, or maybe you're genuinely a weird guy and they need you to have one so they know who you know and can tell their moms who your friends are in case they go missing.
I know dudes who get laid a hell of a lot more than I ever have who never made a facebook in the first place. Or maybe some girlfriend made them one but they don't have any friends because they've never signed onto it.
I have never had a girl react negatively to finding out I didn't have one. I do have one but I haven't been on it in six months and I tell people that immediately like, "If you message me I probably won't get back to you on there because I'm never on it, text or call me, or better yet lets just get together and grab a drink and talk."
So much less miscommunication when you're sitting face to face with someone. That kind of communication scares a lot of people, not having time to think up a perfect response, I find it to be so much easier because I don't have time to think, I just speak my mind and hope it's not too offensive.
>>600190776 You think those people with marriages and kids and shit don't think they'd wish they never started?
You can't have both worlds, it's one or the other and there's no going back when you make that decision to have that family. If you feel like you'll regret turning 40 some day without that... Time is ticking.
Frankly I'm 27 in April and while I'm really mature and shit and I might make a wonderful poppa... I'll never have kids. And yes, I do believe people when they say I'm a wonderful person...
I am in my third year of CC. I should be a junior right now but I fucked up, so I am late. I will be transferring to a 4 year university(hopefully) next fall. I feel like my major(marketing) is useless. I feel like I should be doing accounting. Even though I hate math I feel like if I pick accounting I will land a job once I'm done.
I am also incredibly lonely. I want to jerk off, but I know once I blow that load the regret and shame/loser feeling will come and it will bring me down even lower.
I would go work because that what I do when I'm depressed, but the gym is closed due to some "problems" they won't tell us about.
>>600190776 I'm gonna be 31 in a few weeks. I have a degree but I work as a wine expert. I drink way too much and I get paid shit, but I have the most amazing girlfriend and we are currently going to Puerto rico, where I'm gonna ask her to marry me. She makes it all worth It. TLDR, look for the silver lining
>>600202836 Hey, excon college graduate filth here. But I have many friends in both fields. If you want a guaranteed career, go accounting and get your CPA. If you're not making good connections (you're not at a CC) marketing is going to be a tough sell as a nontraditional student. Then again, once you get to that 4 years you'll probably see the world in an entirely new way and pick a different major. Any way you choose, you're going to succeed. Believe that.
>>600200013 This. Personally my advice would be do get drunk and do anything that seems right without questioning it. Just get drunk and it flows... but you could end up like alcoholic like I will probably in a few. I basically have a girlfriend but never spoke to her sober. But they'll think some medicine for us in the future so whatever. Fuck liver I'd rather be 40 years drunk than 80 years sober
>>600203727 No paid trips. Winemakers come to me. I get one week paid vacation a year, which usually gets spent going to visit my dad. Salary is 40k. Also I live in Massachusetts so my take home is 26k
You have to make a decision at some point in your life about the direction you want it to go. Do you want to be a good parent or do you want to do all the things YOU want to do?
You can be a good parent, but you're going to have to sacrifice a lot of the things that you like to be one. Even if you're rich, if you want to be a good parent, you have to be there for the kid. You shape their future, not Esparanza.
You can also just pursue the things you want to do, and skip the whole having a family thing. That's my plan. My sister did it the best way: She decided to forgo the "having kids" thing and instead married a guy who already had two. Their mom is batshit insane and barred from seeing the kids so she gets to raise them, starting when they were 6 and 9. No shitting the bed. No diapers. None of that labor bullshit, just shaping them into well mannered adults. And she's killing it. She got to have all her fun, and then at 35 she hitched up with this guy and there you go, best of both worlds.
My plan is to: NOT HAVE CHILDREN.
My girl is totally on board. She's pretty young and that will probably change, but for the moment every time she starts thinking about it and talking about it I just suggest we take a trip to Costco or Walmart and she shuts up. Raising children is an 18 year nightmare.
My brother had a kid, he actually went ahead and got his wife pregnant and they had a kid. And she's awesome. But he's not happy, I mean, he's a dad now. He's constantly exhausted and buried between work and raising the kid. He's stretched so thin just trying to keep the thing alive. It looks awful, and I'm not fuckin' doing it. I'm going to travel as much as I can after I get my degree. Solidify my skillset as an analytical chemist with a strong aptitude for mechanical stuff so I can work on research grade equipment like HPLC, GCMS, NMR, etc. and then market myself as such. Travel as much as I can.
>>600204081 Damn. Taking home 26/40? What kind of reckless taxes does Mass. have? Well youre pulling in money and you have a fly little honey, big cat, so it can't be all bad. What's advancement look like? Can you have a business on the side or get another job, even bartending, or teaching wine tasting classes, even teach at a community college elective class on wine, professor? I feel you have charm just based on what you've said so far.
>>600190776 I know being single sucks ass, but you'll find someone if you try hard enough. For now, enjoy you life as a bachelor and stay up until 2 I. The morning with your homies fucking around and having a good time
>>600204522 Yeah I've heard a lot of people who didn't even major in marketing getting marketing jobs. I just hope that I will end up liking accounting, because I really don't want to work in fast food forever.
>>600204689 I know, but it's the shitty feeling after I don't like. I feel like a loser once I cum...idk why. I only jerk off 1-3 a month, so it's not like i have a problem.
Social media is a constant cry out into the electrical ether:
"Please! My life is shit, but here's something I did recently that didn't suck! Please! Validate my by clicking "like" so I know I haven't hit rock bottom because it sure feels like I have."
The only thing I miss from Facebook are my really good friends that moved out of the US or did the stuff I wanted to do when I was younger. One girl is a NOLS instructor now and is a bad-fuckin'-ass chick. Her pics come up ever few months when she gets back to computer. She posts videos from her helmet cam doing white water rafting and free climbing hundreds of feet. That stuff I awesome, shoulda locked that girl down when I had the chance and gone with her, but her adventures don't inspire jealous or envy, they're just inspiring.
This. Doing something different to shake up your life is the way to go. I have a decent job and a great girlfriend but I missed the spontaneity and of bumping into new people and from my college days and even when you've got things going for you, you'll still be missing something.
Your social pool severely diminishes once you get into a routine of work and go home and feeling like you're working yourself until you die was majorly depressing. I started playing guitar for the hell of it a year and a half ago on impulse just take shake things up from the monotony. Once I got competent, started doing open mics at local coffee shops and music stores. Now I've got a decent network of musicians who I invite to my house every so often to jam and hang out because I've got decent gear due to having a decent job. Suddenly I wanted to work harder and do better at work so I could get cooler shit for my home studio and have more people come over and make better tracks and do cooler performances out at open mics with random ass strangers. My girlfriend is cool with it too. Life is good now. There is a group of people somewhere out there that share your interests and passions. Don't be afraid to go find them.
>>600205485 Have you looked into a trade or apprenticeship? There's a lot to say about working with your hands and doing tangible things. You're in fast food and at CC, you say, but you're employed and are pursuing education, yet still down on yourself. You're getting there Man it doesn't happen over night. you'll look back on these times.
>>600190776 Im that one guy who married his dream girl and has that dream job, where i work 4 to 6 hours 4 times a week and get paid a shitload of money, i have a 1 year old baby girl who is gorgeous and we often take a break and travel.. yeah and im the same guy who envies you for your life. sometimes you want wot u dont have, not knowing that hhaving it is actually a huge burden. I suggest since u get paid well, that u take a break and travel.. and try to find a hobby. this might sound like a cliche but life really is wot u make it
>>600206878 I feel you. I know once you own a house and you've got a family, spontaneity and the ability to up and leave or try living in a new country just isn't one of those things that's gonna happen. A lot of people don't realize how valuable time is. Getting it all in while you're young and have no obligations in your 20s is the way to go and then settling down with no regrets in your 30s is the next way to go from what my 30 something friends told me.
I hung out with the dean of my university though and he's had the most badass life ever. It took him 8 years to finish his undergrad because he spent those years also touring with his metal band in the 80s. Once was done with the music scene, he settled down into academics, got a phd from harvard, became a history professor and is now the dean of a major university. I can only hope I live a life half as cool.
>>600190776 27 here, no college, but work as a civil engineer with no problem, it has been like that for 8 years straight, I fuck my gf of 7 years and I don't get paid very well because of my lack of degree, even though I'm quite honestly better than all of the engineers I've worked with. Or at least, most of them. My life is pretty boring, I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't do drugs, I don't even go to clubs. Fuck I don't even save for a car because I always spend the money on something else and I usually sleep in public transportation so I'm always in my comfort zone. Always.
Anyone here has noticed how years go by super faster when you grow older?
>>600207690 Try up and moving to a different state or country, either a place with more people or a place with low cost of living. One guy from my college once up and left to got to Alaska and worked an 80 hour a week job crabbing. Last I heard, he came back with a shit ton of money and put himself through law school with perfect scores. I've heard other stories of people backpacking across Europe or Asia for cheap and earning their keep teaching English for small bursts of time along the way.
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