/b/ HELP! I can't lose the boner! I've had it for

>>600168027
watch some cartoons

just relax

remove thing around dick

Pay a whore.

>>600168027
Start doing math problems
Kills any boner that I've ever had.

>>600168027
masturbate furiously

take off scotch tape spool

>>600168027
try taking that thing off bro

>>600168027
You´re fucked!
Go to hospital you moron, you can lose it!

>>600168168
It fucking hurts though
>>600168234
I'm trying but it hurts
>>600168265
thx
>>600168309
not going to help right away
>>600168366
it hurts to touch
>>600168368
again thx

>>600168339

best advice in here

you cant lose it because this thing doesnt let the blood flow out

wack it or try ice on it

>>600168027
20 minutes?

Cut it off

>>600168442
>>600168339
Again OP, do math.
Or anything that requires focus/attention, like a strategy game.

>>600168524
Basically this. Enjoy your new micropenis - they'll probably cut it off just above the tape.

>>600168027
Hospital unless you want to loose your dick M8

run cold water over it until it goes away, should make the blood vessels let up alittle

>>600168525
ice it bruh

Accept defeat flaunt that shit. As if a dude who has a boner 24/7 isn't a turn on for females.

>>600168646
fuck gimme some questions then!

>>600168027
Ejaculate, then do something boner-killing.

If that doesn't work, after 4 hours CALL AN AMBULANCE, this is called a priapism and can cause permanent damage to your penis if left untreated.

Flex your thigh muscles as hard as you can for as long as you can. That'll drain the blood from your penis (hopefully). If that doesn't work, go to the ER.

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Why did you stick your dick in a roll of tape?

>>600168027
bro dont do shit like that with the tape it could lead to ED just sayin'

>>600168027
Run your cock under cold-water. This was a bad idea op. Be prepared to cut that shit off, the ring not your cock. Cold shower should do it.

>>600168646
>plays sc2
>loses boner in rage

Do you have a treadmill? Go get on and start running at a pretty good pace. It will draw the blood from your penis to your organs and you can take it off. You could try the string trick that people use to take stuck rings off fingers. Have to google how to do it though

I use cock rings all the time...just play some video games or something that stimulates your visual and mental senses at the same time.

It'll take a few minutes but you'll feel it.

get the core of your body cold to make your body want to pull blood from appendages

hold your breath for about a minute(less), stop touching it and stop thinking about sucking dicks

>>600168027
>chop off weenor
>don't die of blood loss
>profit

>>600168027
get a pussy faggot

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>>600168815
I put it on when I was bored and a girl started sending pictues of her feet

>>600168524
you're fucked OP if you dont see a doctor

squat with your legs spread apart with your head between your knees while doing a hard math problem in your head.


What does 57+234*3/4 equal?

>>600168646
Do math during a cold shower.

>>600168027
Go to ER, at least you have a big dick... For now.

Think of your Grandmother's gash.

>>600168027
Show ur mom ya dick

>>600168442

It is a tape roll, so, unroll all the tape off, then the cardboard tube your dick is in will be easily torn away.

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Start posting pretty girls so you lose your boner faggot

>>600168027
Call a scientist. Or tell your parents

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kG9DqqeeW3Y
Some disney nostalgia trip maybe?

>>600169035
soap or oil?
or just cut the scotch thing off

>>600168027
Furiously start unrolling the tape.

>>600169035
Get in the shower stop.posting pics you cunt. Cold water should cause vasoconstriction and save your anteater

>>600168852
kek
I'm more of a Paradox/Civ kinda guy though

>>600168795
uhh, shit, maybe...
what's 2^2^2^2^2^2^2^2^2^2^2^2^2^2^2^2
No using a calculator now.
(yes, just two to the second power continuously).

>>600169197
>pretty girls
>Posts this beat lookin ho

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>>600169035
Footfag pls go

Put on a looser ring above the tape roll. Then another looser one above that.

But really, try to to cum.

>>600169188
Have you never been around office supplies?

>>600169188
Not all tape rolls have a cardboard tube in them. Could be plastic.

>>600168027
A) Carefully saw through it.

B)Use some kind of lubricant to try slide it off (I suggested this second as nobody wants slippery fingers when using a hacksaw)

C) Admit defeat, and go to a hospital. This is probably the best option.

Obviously C will require you to move to a new city afterwards though, as your name and reputation will tarnish your entire family.

Unravel all the tape then cut the cardboard with a small pair of scissors

>>600169035
Write a webpage in the html format

That blood isn't going anywhere, I suggest you get medical attention. At least it's average size so you won't get laughed at by the nurses/doctors, otherwise, you're well and truly fucked

Flex a muscle in your arm or thigh or were ever for a little bit so the blood flow will go there and not your dick

>>600168027
What the fuck were you thinking?

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Make boner kill
watch gay por..wait OP is a faggot

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Apply super glue instead of tape.

Get a knife and cut the tape off cut into it

>>600169035
post the pics you were sent,don't be a faggot OP

Medifag here. OP this is fucking serious, get to the hospital ASAP or you might lose your dick, for real.

heat up a knife
start melting that shit til it's 1 or 2 milimeter thick
then break it

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I just ran it under some cold water and it seems to have gotten tighter!

>>600169294

ice water, fill up a pitcher and put your dick in it without taking it out for like a minute

Flex quads for 30 seconds or more

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>>600168027
OH you fucking knob what have you done?!

OPTIONS: Cold water (LOTS) - Cut tape off (Carefully duh) - Go to a fucking hospital.

You have a pretty limited time span before that causes perma damage. Do SOMETHING fast.

>>600169606
lel

>>600168027
Flex every muscle in your body as long as you can. The blood will rush from panis and bonner Will be kill

>>600169197
Pretty much this.

>>600168027
Rub it with Vaseline and smack it hard against something.

>>600168027
something could on the bottom of penis

Run cold water on your dick, get a hammer and smash that tape . Its either do it amd hurt for a day or lose it.

someone needs to go to OPs house and suck him off immediately

>>600169648
>penis is kill.

have fun being dickless.

>>600169648
Go to the hospital, m8. They'll probably need to cut it off. The pipe, I mean.

Also, don't stick your dick in things you can't get it out of.

Also, dubs.

Oh op you glorious fucking faggot
Do something b4 boner is permakill

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>>600168027

>>600169648
wtf dude
cold water doesnt help shit if the blood is blocked from flowing back.

seek medical advice. at a hospital not on /b/ if you dont want to lose your dick you massive retard

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I wonder how many poor bastards in history lost their dick by sticking it into something tight while flaccid and getting hard.

do a handstand against the wall so your blood rushes to your head

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>>600169648
STICK YOUR DICK IN A BOWL OR JAR OF ICE AND WATER YOU FUCKING FAGGOT

>>600169622
OOOOOOOHHHHHH SHIITT NIGGA

>>600169670
dude i'm not op.
i wouldn't do such a dumb thing

>>600169622
LISTEN TO THE MEDIFAG OR YOUR DICK WILL GET THE GANGRENE.

>>600168027
If it is really, tape, why dont you just undo the spawl, and then cut the remaining cardboard inner-circle with scissors?

>>600168524
>kek
>That's not even the right way to use a cock ring...

>>600168027
>>600169035

Kek my friend let it rip gracefully

just undo all the tape and cut the paper roll with scissors

>>600169648
slice that vein on top with a razor. It will barely hurt and you will be fine, but it will relieve the pressure.

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>>600169648
got your back mate

>>600169786
Had this problem awhile back but with a ziptie. This worked

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>>600169648
FUCK sake OP stop falling for trolls. Cold water sends blood TO the penis to keep it warm! You need to do exercise to draw the blood away from your dick

>>600169606
this x 10000

>>600168027
You're dumb AF, I legit hope your dick falls off, stupid faggot.

>>600168795
>>600168027
Alright, alright, here's a better one
49 = ((3x + 8)^2) / x^2
(49 equals (3x plus 8) squared over x squared)

>>600169979
a lot man... a lot...

>>600168027
Get a sircumcisun

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Watch this.

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>>600169035
I'm not even into feet it was just cause i haven't jerked off in a while.

Also i got me some butter

>>600169769
YES OP THIS. This is actually the best idea. I'm not kidding you have to act like you're going super saiyan.

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>>600169575

>>600168027
try viagra with coffe and energetic,with spaggetti

>>600168027
Honestly OP, you've probably made your dick useless.

You'll never have a solid hard on again.

Go to the ER. you might get some pussy there

ER, now, or risk permanent damage.

Your only other option is to cut it off yourself.

Whatever you do, do it fast.

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>>600170225
best idea in thread op, that'll surely help!

>>600170274
>puts butter on wrong side
...

It's looking like you're going to become a bottom.

BME pain Olympics submission?

fuck I gotta go to the gym can you guys keep this thread alive for 1 1/2 hours?

>>600170300
fucking kek

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>>600170274
Oh my fucking god this is even better than >>600170307 <this thread!

>>600170307
What the bloody fuck
who does this shit to their own junk

>>600169035
who the fuck puts shit around their cock when they're bored??

>>600168027
sit down on a chair and tighten up your leg/thigh muscles- this will redirect blood flow

flick your testicles hard enough so it hurts a little until the erection dies down

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>>600170078
OH JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

>>600170274
OP
Don't be a fucking retard and put your dick into icey water, that makes the plastic shrink, fucking your dick up even more. Since you've had this on for like over half an hour shit is about to get serious.
You can either:
Smash that shit with a hammer, fast.
or
Cover your dick in oil or something to slip if off before you're fucked.

>>600168027
Slash your wrists, the blood will flow from dick to refill lost blood.
Source: I'm a rocket surgeon

>>600169035
your about to loose your dick over feet picks ahahaha

>>600169918
OP's dick would explode

>>600169979
thats natural selection mate
>sirvival of the /fit/test

>>600168027
It seams as though we have no choise your just going to have to cut it off.

Stop posting start buttering

>>600170520
I put stuff in my vagina when Im bored. I figured guys stick their dicks in anything (even me)

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>>600170274

>Take picture
>Send to mom asking for help

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>>600170274
just cut it off already you fucking idiot

>>600170274
Microwave butter for 2 mins then pour it directly on don't worry about it being too hot you won't feel it

>>600168027
Take a huge needle and shove it in there, withdrawing enough blood to deflate it and remove the ring.

>>600168027
OP I HAVE AN IDEA. LITERALLY FAP RIGHT THE FUCK NOW YOU BLITHERING HOMO ERECTUS. RUB THAT TINY PECKER FURIOUSLY SO THAT ALL UR NIGGER JUICE LEAKS OUT AND YOUR TINY WEANUS GETS EVEN SMALLER, AND THEN PULL IT OUT OF THE RING AND POST THE FEET SHE SENT YOU. YOUR WELCOME FAGGOT

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THE FUCKER JUST DOESN'T WANT TO COME OFF!

timestamp please

>>600170238
wtf anon

Have your sister play with it for a while

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fuck off idiot

>>600170748
Could you imagine the blood jet?

smash with hammer

>>600170788
RIP OP'S DICK

Do you really want him breeding?

>>600170788
IT'S COMING JUST KEEP PULLING

>>600170078
Topkek. Penis is kill

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>>600170274

>>600170075
This. EMT certified.

Dip it in boiling water.

>>600168027
If that is a role of tape, unwind all the tape and tear apart the cardboard. Speaking from experience. If it's NOT a role of tape, cut off cock.

>>600170307

>AM STUCK

>>600169178

underrated post.

full kek.

>>600170788
start watching a historical documentary on the romans or some shit

>>600170238
sauce

>>600170788
Squeeze the blood out of your dick and back below the ring.

Or cut it off.
You're likely to rip your skin off just pulling.

>>600170788
The colour of your penis is becoming very disconcerting

>>600170788
ARCHIVE THIS GUYS

>>600170274
take a needle
poke a hole in one of the dick veins
blood flows out
you won

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihB_lTOSshM

>>600170788
get all the tape off and then cut whats left with a scissior

>>600170776

OH GOD ITS GONNA EXPLODE

>>600170788
why don't you fucking cut it off you colossal faggot?

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>>600170788
This fucking thread my sides!

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>>600168027

Seriously, OP. You're out of options. It's hospital time. If you don't, your dick is going to be fucked up for the rest of your life. Just do it, unless you don't give a fuck.

So, what happened on /b/ today?
Op lost his dick.

>>600168027
Better go get a hacksaw.

>>600170274
Try to melt the plastic,i ts better than losing your dick

>>600170985
It is a roll of tape.
A roll of scotch tape.
They're on plastic rolls.

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Op is fucked
Pepe would be disappointed

>>600170861
sauceeee

>>600171000
careful though
a bunch of shirtless muscular guys might make op even harder

>>600170723
That got me horny for some reason...

>>600171114
post pics of aftermath of dicksplosion

>>600171083
THIS. This will save your dick.

Today OP broke his dick.

Are you fucking stupid? Jerk off!! If there is a good way to get rid of a boner it is to jerk off. Use your brain you fucking dumb asshole.

>>600170788
You fucking retard jus cut it off

>>600168027
better question is why the tape?

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>>600170788
how many pulls does it take to pop?

>>600168027
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ihB_lTOSshM

maybe it works humm..

>>600171216
I said Romans, they wear skirts.
Not Spartans.
Unless OP is a hardcore faggot and likes that even more.

OP if you want to come out as being tranny this is not the way.
>you lost your dick

>>600169035
post feets

>Grab a lighter
>Melt the side of the ring
>It will expand the size
>Dick will be freed
>??????
>PROFIT

>>600168027
watch this shit

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eg-MpakO1fU

dude, your penis is going to RIP, I did the same thing to a shampoo bottle when I was a kid, can no longer get erect

/b/ doctors, you are failing. save this man's life

>>600170788
op what the fuck are moron , this guys are trying to fuck you up , go to the hospital , they gonna drain the blood out using syringes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWf5MAobWoM

>>600170788
Try an exacto knife before you lose your whole humfiddling dick

ops dick is an hero

Take a steel knife, put it on fire (the knife, not dick). Then try to melt the ring ...

unravel the tape

Soak in hot water: use a hot towel, wrapped around your penis for 3 mins. will cause expanding. stick in ice water for 1 min. this will cause shrinkage.

source: past experience

>>600170911
911 always tells truths. OP should not reproduce

Srsly OP go to the fucking hospital, you may lose your dick. Make sure you post pics n stuff

>>600170788

SERIOUS question, op.....have you felt it budge AT ALL since you started trying to remove it? Even a little bit?

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>>600169606
Here's a teaser.

>>600170274
microwave your dick, it'll melt the plastic

take all the tape off of it. then flex your penis and burst out.

>>600171159
beyblade

>>600170788
If you have a dremil, stick a butter knife under the tape and cut the roll until you hit the knife

was it worth it

>>600170612
jesus, learn to spell you fucking toddler.

This is what /b/ has come to....

>>600168027
Just be yourself.

OP Just made my day


Btw try to melt the pastic thing dude

or jerk off you'll maybe go flaccid

>>600170520
my sides

I'm laughing so hard right now

>>600171476
*op what the fuck, are you a moron , those guys are trying to fuck you up , go to the hospital , they gonna drain the blood out using syringes

see the video if you have the technique and proper tool , do it ur self

>>600171174
I was thinking this.

Get all the tape off the spool, then use a lighter to soften the plastic.

You'll have to do it gradually to avoid burning your cock or heating the plastic too much though - bubbling hot plastic burns aren't fun

>>600168265
dying

Has no one thought of this yet?
Youtube how to get a ring off with string. There you go op

>>600171705
this

Soldering iron to carefully melt the ring to your cock then put the iron in your dickhole

sympathetic nervous system like fight or flight will help just imaginary jump rope in place

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Reminds me of this guy

Get a coat hanger and use a lighter to heat it up red hot then slowly melt the ring off but dont touch your dick. Might hurt when gets close to the middle but better then getting a dead dick

>>600170788
>>600171708

listen to this anon! you need to ejaculate!

>>600171622
Op you are a faggot

Make a cut on those veins, the blood will spill out and the dick will shrink

>>600170788
OP has done this before and knows he isn't in any real danger
No man would be able to keep his cool with something risking damage to his dick

>>600171806
It's not tape, lad. Looks like a piece of PVC pipe.

>>600170861
Damn...the discipline to pull out mid jizz and be able to get it in another while still jizzing. Crazy

>>600171690
What, some dude playing with their dick and a bunch of other faggots watching while playing with theirs?

That's been 4chan pretty much the entire time.

RIP OP's dick

Well, I hope you don't miss your dick OP

OP go to the fucking hospital. You're running out of time. If your that stupid then it should be cut off so you can't reproduce and have retarded kids.

dicksplosion incoming

>>600171476
lol nigger with cut jew dick probably overdosed on viagra

>>600168027
>>600169035
>>600169648
>>600170274
>>600170788
Fap.

>it'll take a crane to get it off

>>600171885
WHY DID HE THINK THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA.

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Unwind the tape so it's just the cardboard tube, then cut that off.

>>600169035
how the hell can you get an erection from feet

>>600169956
I feel better already

Also check 'em

Get your dad to suck it off

>>600169035
You deserve this footfag

OP, go to the fucking hospital quick. If your dick is not dead yet, then they will drain the blood from your dick to make your penis thicker.

>>600171885
Oh fuck!

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>>600171705
>>600171705

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>>600171885
>I want to play a game

>>600171446
That gave me an erection. The sensual music and everything... I want one inside me. Now.

Dude, don't you have a pair of pliers around, or large scissors?

If that thing is plastic, just try cutting it away along the width (not near the dick) until you get it to a point where you can force it off

lighter under the roll. I'm testing this now

>>600171654
Holy shit actual good advice. Good work anon

>>600172018
If its the same video I saw a while ago heprobably has diabetes

>>600168027

Dial 999, if you don't live in the uk your fucked.

jet fuel can't melt plastic rings

This thread is fucking gold.

OP hasn't posted in 9 minutes guys! He ded.

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>>600168027
Do the floss ring trick thing

>>600172216
FUCKING KEK

OP is kill.

Let this be a reminder... don't mess with your tool.

Status report, OP. We need to know if you're still with us

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fuck i wanna know how this shit ends

>>600172216
cmon now wrong thread

>>600172024
treatment is the same

>>600172216


>underrated post


keking intesifies

>>600172298
It ends with OP having a broken dick.

>>600172216
glorious

Boil water, insert dick up to tape spool. Add pasta, Boil 8-10 minutes until plastic is soft. Strain and serve with marinara of choice. Have a dinner celebrating the loss of your dick.

>>600168027
Lol sorry op. if you do get it off have fun with that erectile dysfunction for the rest of your life

>>600170788
Just picture your grandma dumbass. Think about it. Your grandmas scoliosis. Talking to your grandpa. Sitting in their clean overheated house. Your grandma smiling at you.

https://4archive.org/b/thread/600168027

OP, are you here?!
OP is dead....

I was watching a documentary once about some guy that got poisoned and the poison gave him a prolonged erection. He had to go to he hospital and they had to use a needle to draw the blood out of his dick. When they had removed it, it was the consistency of tomato paste as all the blood had thickened in his dick. This will happen to you

is op kill?

Ground Control to OP, Ground Control to OP. Do you read? Over.

>>600172278
Apparently duct tape doesn't fix everything :/

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op's mom probably came home from work and heard him crying

>>600169575
this fucking image topest kek

save your self OP

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWf5MAobWoM

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>this thread

baby oil that shit push on your dick so it gets under it (use a shit ton) wiggle that shit up while u push down near the top of that cock ring

>>600171305

If that tape is too tight and the blood can't flow back out of the penis, the boner won't go away.

>>600172440
>>600172462
his dick is kill

Finger your prostate, only way OP

OP STICK A SEWING NEEDLE IN IT AND DRAIN THE BLOOD

medifag here

>>600172441

>solidified blood

Snake bite
100 %

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OP you still alive?

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>>600169364

>>600172248
Yes OP if you want your dick to be saved do this!!!

OP u still here , or

OP is kill

>>600171678
Let me work it

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Toasting in epic bread

>>600172038
This guy is literally a genius, and is gonna save OPs dick.

>god speed batman
Hope to hear from you again when another brave anon gets his dick stuck in an object.

>>600171924
Well OP's up shit creek without a prick then.
He'll soon be just another MtF tranny for /b/ to lust over

I see the only solution to get rid of it is gore thread

windex

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OP SERIOUSLY RUB BUTTER OR SOMETHING THATS LUBEY ALL OVER IT AND GENTLY MOVE UP AND DOWN WITH IT IN A TWISTING BACK AND FORTH MOTION IT WILL GET THE BUTTER/LUBE ETC UNDER THE PLASTIC THING AND IT WILL COME OFF

OP, you cant be like this for more than 40 minutes, YOU BETTER GO TO A FUCKING HOSPITAL.

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>>600172727
Yup.

>>600172548
oh fuck, good point.
RIP OP's cock

>>600172480
Exactly. And it definitely isn't going to help reattach his dick when it inevitably blows off.

>>600172736
It's plastic...

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this fucking thread is gold

Has OP even said exactly what it is on his dick?

I'm seeing different shit posted......piece of a pipe....plastic tape spool.......someone else said cardboard tape spool but i doubt it since that's much easier to remove.....

Finish the job OP

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>>600172696
put my tape down flip it and reverse it
oh wait i
>can't

Facepalm.png

OP probably cut his wang off and is now rushing to a hospital or some shit

>>600168027
With erections lasting more than 4 hours please seek medical attention.

aka you got 3 hours to go OP

>>600172648
maybe, but i think it was the product of just having blood stuck in the penis that long. The guy was talking about the "if your erection doesnt go away after 4 hours" thing and how it can actually be really serious

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im just here to see how this ends

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Jesus motherfucking christ this thread

My sides
someone screencap this shit

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Holy shit OP!

Do a barrel roll

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YouTube the video on how to get a ring off a swollen finger...

It's been 13 minutes since OP's dick died

>>600171885
Eww gross look at his pubes

>>600172420
420 blaze it. Archived

>>600172825
>implying you can't cut plastic...

It would be so much easier to get it off with the tape gone either way.

OP went to ER or exploded into a million pieces

Well I think we can safely assume that op's cock is no more.

someone please archive this thread

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OP HAS DISSAPEARED

OP HAS WENT TO THE HOSPITAL

RIP OPS COCK

PUN INTENDED

Penis is kill

>>600172994
this is actually a good idea op, try it

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Oc

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>>600170788

UNRAVEL THE FUCKING TAPE, throw tape away.

THE SPOOL IS MADE FROM PAPER SO SLIDE SCISSORS UNDER SO YOU CAN CUT THE SPOOL OFF WITHOUT HURTING YOUR DICK (use ones with dull tips). Kitchen shears may work (heavy duty enough, but not sharp tipped like hair scissors).

PERBLEM SOLVED.

Cold shower, stimulates your bodies shock response and it'll pull the blood from your extremeties into your organs.

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>>600170788
THIS THREAD.

I AM CRYING.

This is the /b/ I remember