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Extinct animals that would make you shit brix.

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 263
Thread images: 51

File: phorusrhacidae.png (215KB, 640x365px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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Extinct animals that would make you shit brix.
>>
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Jaekelopterus, a giant sea scorpion.
>>
File: sarcosuchus-size.jpg (80KB, 620x197px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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This motherfucker
>>
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>>599728355
Wasn't Sarcosuchus even bigger than Deinosuchus?
>>
File: Daeodon.jpg (14KB, 432x270px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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This fucker would be pretty scary too, pigs are fucking mean.
>>
>>599728804
Giant pig?
>>
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>>599727722
Australopithecus (Paranthropus) boisei.
>>
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>>599728741

Yes, although Sarcosuchas most likely fed primarily on fish due to the shape of it's jaw where as Deinosuchus probably had a more varied diet making it potentially more dangerous to humans.

Also, I was going to post quetzalcoatlus next, good choice. I'll go with this instead. Something about these permian reptiles just makes me feel uneasy. Mammal like but so alien at the same time. Leogorgon was about twice the size as a male lion.
>>
bamp
>>
>>599731014
Largest mammal to ever lives huh?
>>
>>599731014

Blue whale is bigger, by a lot. Blue whale is the largest animal to have ever existed.
>>
Paraceratherium was the largest LAND* mammal to ever live and was probably fairly benign, but holy fuck imagine how awesome it would be to ride one!
>>
>>599728804
Man bear pig
>>
File: Paranthropus_boisei.jpg (244KB, 1152x1536px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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>>599729957
I would hope that it is feeling friendly.
>>
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Dunkleosteus
>>
>>
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>>599731451
faggot deletes the post upon getting corrected by fellow /b/tards
>>
>>599731251
>>599731272
Mods edited misinformation?
>>
>>599731818
Homo erectus may have indeed shat bricks seeing G. blacki.
>>
File: Megalodon.png (721KB, 1200x675px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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Surprised nobody has posted Megalodon yet.
>>
>>599732196
Somebody make that Tyrannosaur ride on top of Megalodon. Thank you.
>>
>>599731660
This is why I fear the deep blue.
>>
File: Leedsichthys.jpg (18KB, 500x250px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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Leedsicthys (good luck pronouncing that). The biggest fish that ever lived, bigger even than a Megalodon. Fortunatley, it was a passive filter-feeder
>>
>>599731660

Holy shit this, I was obsessed with it when I was a little kid after seeing a full-scale animatronic one in a museum.
>>
>>599732196
Fact, Trex and megalodons had symbiotic relationship, where trex would pick parasites off Megalodon's body.
>>
Jurassic spiders
>>
>>599732663
Leed-sick-thees. And cool.
>>
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>>599732663
And I thought this was fantasy...
>>
>>599729667
Shit, so my Walking with Dinosaurs DVD is obsolete now?
>>
>>599732927
Do you mean to say Carboniferous, not Jurassic?
>>
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>>599732851
Well of course, it used its arms to latch on. Everyone knows that lol.
>>
>>599733335
Oh shit, 400,000 million years ago... were insects in their prime those days?
>>
>>599733758
Yes. The prime of land insects/arthropods was in the Carboniferous.
>>
>>599733672
I would love using that thing as a skateboard
>>
>>599734043
Yabba dabba doo.
>>
>>599733758
There was more oxygen on Earth.
Earths oxygen to etc ratio determines the size of insects and other things.
>>
Meganeura

Why do all these extinct animals have such cool names?
>>
>>599733758

yeah the earth didnt exist 400,000 years ago. welp when oxygen was at a much higher concentration in the atmosphere insects were at their prime because of their open vascular systems. now theyre all bitches
except mosquitoes
cuz they still rule
>>
>>599733758

And it was about 360 million years ago, not 4000000 million years ago. The earth isn't even that old.
>>
>>599733758
>400 billion years ago
wut
>>
>>599734195

correction

*earth didnt exist 400,000 million years ago.*
>>
>>599734216
The earth actually is about 4 billion years old
>>
>>599734172
Its the Latin/Greek names given to them. Extant animals have cool names like that too. Even you do, Homo sapiens sapiens.
>>
>>
>>599734195

double correction: *circulatory*
sry AM HIGH
>>
>>599734472
I know. 400000 million is larger than 4 billion.
>>
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>>599734140
bullshit
>>
>>599733758
Yes. On planet X-b293ii89. But they are not insects as you know them on Earth.
>>
>>599734707
Fuck you.
>>
>>599734707
>not knowing basic facts
Ok
>>
>>599734707
Google the Carboniferous period and learn something.
>>
>>599734546
Go home Tolkien, you're drunk.
>>
>>599732927
Face hugger?
>>
>>599734707
Eh, it's actually true.
>>
>>599734707

yep. probably after the cyanobacteria died out 500 mya and our atmosphere had hella amounts of oxygen. insects have open circulatory systems which means they get air through diffusion. So more air = bigger insects.
>>
>>599734707
are you stupid?
>>
>>599731818
>G. blacki

fuckin kek
>>
>>599734336
>>599734594
It's okay anon. We all make mistakes
>>
>>599727722
Wasn't somebody making a movie, based off some book, about people finding a flock of these giant murderous fuckers?
>>
>>599729667
I've decided not to believe this, fucking 25 meters monica
>>
please never stop posting these, i'm hooked
>>
>>599727722
50cm is half of a meter. Either that number is wrong or this image is intentionally misleading as fuck.
>>
>>599731660
Mah nigga
>>
>>599735910
There is nothing wrong about it.
>>
>>599735910
holy fuck you're slow
>>
Anyone else notice how retardedly oversized the Mosasaur in the Jurassic World trailer is?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFinNxS5KN4&t=1m2s
>>
>>599731818
Giga nigga early years
>>
>>599732663
That is one happy looking fish.
>>
>>599727722
Check out this magnificent beast!

Imagine running into this nightmare out in the jungle
>>
>>599735039
We still have cyanobacteria today, and the high oxygen level were due to the abundance of land plants which were novel at the time and the fact there were not many other terrestrial animals among other things.
>>
i win dubs
>>
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>>599734707
That's the reason why Mars has no insectoid life. No oxygen.
>>
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The megalania

It actually coexisted with hominids
>>
>>599737057
Until we ate them all.
>>
>>599737057
Fuckin' Plio/Pleistocene Australia...
>>
>>599735910
50cm is the length of the line underneath the "50cm"
It took me a while to get it too
>>
>>599737057
bullshit
>>
>>599731451

*that we know of
>>
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>>599734795
kek'd hard
>>
more like extinct animals that make you rock hard
>>
>>599737057
Then the hominids became abos and robbed megalania
>>
>>599737413
>>599734707
Same fag.
>>
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>>599731818

OP said extinct though
>>
>>599736694

I was talking about why it was at its highest level.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Oxygenation_Event
>>
Megaloceros giganteus aka the Irish Elk existed only 7000 years ago.
>>
I still find it interesting that the earliest plants and trees didn't rot after they died because the bacteria needed for the decomposition didn't exist yet.
I would like to see a forest like that
>>
>>599727722
i really dont know how those dinos got soo big, seriously it would make more sense if we were giants.
>>
I'm fucking scared of the earliest predators.
Anomalocaris was always my fav.
>>
I'm not even gonna specify any, I'm just gonna say "most' would scare the fuck out of me.

Most were big.
Most were scary.
And most were completely capable of eating me and my family in one sitting.
>>
>>599737616
There must have been losses on both sides.
>>
>>599731251
Close, but I think your mom fits that category these days.
>>
>>599733177

Dinosaur facts go obsolete faster than laptops
>>
>>599731660
this is just beautifull, thetones of blue on this image.
>>
>>599737945
Yeah, Carboniferous bogs and swamps must have been interesting places.

You may like this: http://www.mnh.si.edu/highlight/riola/
>>
ALL prehistoric animals most likely.
>>
>>599738054
Those fucking things at the bottom. What were they called again?
>>
>>599731818
>G. blacki
nigga.
>>
>>599737795
Yeah, well I am too. The great oxygen event was literally billions of years before the first terrestrial arthropods. It didn't stay constant all that time and terrestrial plants were the reason that the oxygen levels were high during the Carboniferous.
>>
>>599738329
I don't even wanna think about how much stuff we burned up with all the coal
>>
>>599738384
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hallucigenia
>>
>>599738384
hallucigenias
>>
>>599732927
there where no jurassic spiders, i think that only on the creatacian period that they started to apear "spidey"
>>
>>599738384
ur mums dildos
>>
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>>599738335
You wouldn't want an adorable pet walliserops?
>>
>>599738384
sticklets
>>
>>599738647
Right, I was thinking around the lines of "Hallucigena" but all I got were narcotics
>>
>>599737844
Crazy shit
>>
>>599738565
>>599737795
Oh I fucked up sorry. You're right.
>>
>>599738329
I wonder how long a soft squishy modern human would last in those "Carboniferous bogs and swamps"

I'm guessing not very ling
>>
>>599738696
>>599738647
I think they were kinda cute.
>>
>>599737657
bullshit
>>
>>599731528
manhorsedemon is beter
>>
>>599739049
This guy is cool too: http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Opabinia
>>
>>599738329
Damn, imagine all the now extinct diseases lurking in those mega swamps. Like insta-aids by a 3 foot mosquito.
>>
>>599738896
No wait, it was almost 2 billion years before then. I no longer think I fucked up.
>>
>>599739290
Lel
>>
Giganotosaurus was probably larger than T-Rex

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0lnHiXtRKIM
>>
>>599739259
Man, the Cambrian epoche has some great stuff. That was the drug phase of mother nature
>>
>>599739101
lol I like how you never capitalize.
>>
>>599738449
thats so hoe ass shit muh nigga
>>
>>599732927
That's fuckin' nothing, come to Australia
>>
>>599737844
They should try to revive it like the aurochs. Hopefully they find some nice samples in the permafrost.
>>
>>599737844
Wonder what caused them to go extinct?

Can't imagine what predators could drive a creature like that to extinction. Only humans would have...

Nevermind
>>
>>599739578
It was a time of the first great evolutionary arms race. So many interesting things came out of it.
>>
So basically back then, they had everything we have today, but at least 4x bigger
>>
>>599739777
Didn't the Nazis try to do that? It shouldn't even be that hard, actually, since it died out just a few hundred years ago
>>
>>599739469
It looks sad
>>
File: loai1.jpg (62KB, 710x401px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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Pithovirus sibericum

aka biggest virus ever discovered,
>>
>>599739834
we are strong motherfuckers.
think we are mamals that have less than 3 meters, and even trought that we could kill a fucking mamute.
>>
>>599732927

Fucking Australia.
>>
>>599740132
Fucking idiot
>>
>>599739834
Foreshadowing is right there in the low-quality picture.
>>
>>599740132
>Pithovirus sibericum
oh god how could this thing fit inside an poor soul
>>
>>599731552
I think those walk among us today
Homo Sapiens Niggeramus, correct?
>>
>>599740045
Yeah, I believe the Germans cloned or rebred the actual species. Huge fucking cows.
>>
>>599739834
End of the ice age, and rise of the humans killed out of a shit ton of mega-fauna
>>
>>599737703
top fuckin kek
>>
>>599729243
So why didn't they fly the ring to mordor?
>>
>>599733053
no teeth
>>
>>599740381

its on a microscope, friend.
>>
>>599740046

I think he was cuckolded by a T-Rex or something. Looks beta as fuck
>>
>>599740006
Back when?
>>
>>599739834
The ice age was on its way out and huge antlers were't effective in thicker growing woods.
>>
as terrifying as it would be, fuck it would be amazing to go back and witness some of these cunts in action
>>
>>599738054

Anus-Faciousapod
>>
>>599737945
Is that true?

Sorry, not my area. Obviously there was bacteria - but nothing that would cause decomposition? Not sure what the full ramifications of that would even be
>>
>>599740726
in the day

or whatever periods each of these existed
>>
>>599740625
the only beta t-rex.
>>
>>599736830
Is that a rhinoceros with down syndrome?
>>
>>599739834
Cool as it is, evolution generally selects against large animals. That's why there are few living today, and extinct animals often have similar, but smaller versions, survive. It's just not efficient, as a species, to take a very long to mature. More generations of breeding in a shorter span allow more mutations to take place, increasing the chances of successful adaptation to any change in environment.
>>
>tfw creationists try to pretend humans coexisted with creatures like this

I mean come on, I can tolerate most religions but creationism is just retarded.
>>
>>599740802
There were no bacteria/fungi that had evolved to decompose cellulose.
>>
>>599740897
anon just said the wisest words of this year.
>>
>>599729243
Welcome to the life of a field mouse. You don't hear anything till the beak hits you
>>
>>599740006
what did you just said you retard? yeah coz we still have reptiles moving on two legs
>>
>>
>>599740802
It would still decay by erosion and weathering.
>>
>>599740742
Hadn't even thought of how those antlers would go from an asset to a huge liability in a densely wooded area
>>
>>599740384
No, its still an interpretive sculpture of Australopithecus boisei. It probably didn't even have any kind of darker skin pigmentation anyway you twit. And species and subspecies names are lowercase by the way.
>>
>>599740921
But that is cooler
>>
>>599741100
Learn to english, also at what point did I mention anything about having 2 legs?

Read what I said before you let your down syndrome take over.
>>
>>599740006
also now animals are more specialized on what they do.
>>
>>599741116
>>
>>599740841
That's a lot of time. We have found things from "back then" that have no contemporary equivalent.
>>
Anyone who says feathered dinosaurs are less scary, well look at this creepy fucker
>>
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>>599741116
Cameroceras was a badass.
>>
>>599739834
Never underestimate humans desire to eat tasty things big and small
>>
>>599733758
>400,000 Million
>400 Billion
>0.4 Trillion

Nigga the universe isn't even that old.
>>
>>599741306
actually you should use the name on uppercase and the latter on lower.
>>
>>599732663
Apparently it also had Down's
>>
>>599741714
This is true.
>>
>>599740132
it's not extinct though, it's now alive and breeding
>>
>>599741690
oh shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit,
that is a fucking chicken/dog hibrid .
>>
>>599734699
"Scientists are unsure of this great serpents exact activities, but what they do know based on fossilised remains is that this anaconda don't want none unless you got buns hun."
>>
we need MOAR sea life on this treade.
>>
>>599741485
I am having the mor in my prime back when you ever will do you dipshit having no respect for our further dimensional plans of the restrictions in your mind caused by the force of your own digest back then when I am here.
>>
>>599741708
In-fucking-deed. I love cephalopods.
>>
>>599741690
It's almost wooly, which is very unlikely with those proto-feathers that were probably only used for mating purposes.
>>
>>599740521
Because the Maori ate all the food of that species.
>>
>>599741708
this nigga, my niigga
>>
>>599740045
Yeah, the Nazis re-created (sort of) the aurochs. They're basically huge vicious cows. Not worth keeping domestically because of their temperament but they can actually survive quite well on their own in the wild
>>
>>599741725
lol seriously. That's 399,994,015 years too many.
>>
>>599742140

Yeah I guess but still fucking horrifying
>>
>>599741756
Not if you are communicating genus.
>>
>>599732546
Crap at chess are you?
>>
>>599742047
Best thing I've read tonight
>>
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I called it, OPs penis
>>
>>599742416
:)
>>
>>599742147
Silly birds should have just waited for the British to bring dear. Deer probably taste better than moa anyway.
>>
>>599742587
Not extinct.
>>
>>599741575
I looked at that quick and thought the Titanoboa had melted. then I was like
>Oh...
>>
>>599740906

I just saw this today

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4NAFH521wPg
>>
>>599742672
Both frilled shark and OP's genitals presumably.
>>
>>599742587
I wish my dick was that big and had teeth.
>>
>>599741708
Evolution at work
>>
>>599742587
my peanus weanus. LOL
>>
>>599742929
<3
>>
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Fucking hate bugs. I dont need a giant ass centipede
>>
Curious, why the fuck are we so damn small?
>>
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I want to believe
>>
>>599743109
We're bigger than foraminifera.
>>
>>599743109
mamalian species.
>>599743237
go to /mlp/ horse fucker.
>>
>>599743237
Ah yes, the Pegacornum Albus.
Magnificent creature.
>>
>>599743109
It's the most effective size. If we were the size of hamsters, our brains would be too small to even ask this question. If we were too big, lets say like an elefant, our energy consumption would only be used to maintain our body mass, with nothing left to develop a sentient brain.
>>
>>599743109
because we couldn't get much bigger without our body collapsing in on it's self
>>
>>599728741
is that one of those french hats that the beast on the left is wearing?
Is it a painter?
>>
>>599743237
Here you go.
http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2014/11/141112-unicorn-deer-slovenia-antlers-science-animals/
>>
>>599734133
Lmao underrated post
>>
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Okay --

You're sitting at your computer when you boot an old floppy disk and are somehow transported back in time tens of millions of years and you have two options:

Option A: Crash in the ocean, but 1 mile away from a save cove

or

Option B: Crash-land in the middle of an unknown area but a safe vantage point is 6 miles away

Go.
>>
Giganotosuarus may have been a little bigger than T. Rex but it did not have the jaws strength Rex did it's bite was still the strongest ever seen on earth
>>
>>599743765
nope just a crest.
>>
whut
>>
This has been one hell of a successful thread
>>
>>599744105

I figure by the time I'm in his mouth I messed up too much anyways.
>>
>>599743892
B

Regardless of predators, I'd probably drown before I could reach land.
>>
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>>599731818
Googled it, was not disappointed.

pic related
>>
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>>599744105
i wonder how t.rex bite strength compares to megladon
>>
>>599743892
Depends. Is it mounteness land? If plains, desert, tundra, anything flatish then its he land. But if the ocean is calm i can swim that in like... 20 minutes.
>>
U r all homos...apiens :D
>>
>>599743765
can't unsee
>>
>>599742780
Interesting, but notable that they only noted it for marine animals. This may be because the simple volume of the ocean, as well as the increased buoyancy of water compared to air, provides more favorable conditions.
Also just because we see a lot of large animals doesn't necessarily mean that it's better to be big. Since there is an absolute lower limit on the size and complexity of organisms, but no upper limit (theoretically). The drunkards stumble and all that. Bacteria are still the most successful organisms on the planet.
>>
>>599743892
i don't swim well.
so i an going to die easily i chosse /b/
also there are many parasites on the water.
>>
>>599744605
>but no upper limit (theoretically)
good luck trying to survive beying a blob of flesh.
>>
>>599744327
Helicoprion is cool. It's thought that it evolved the wirl tooth to crack ammonite shells.
>>
>>599740132
>virus.
>animal thread
>>
>>599743237
I started doing the math once on how big a Pegasus's wings would have to be to get it airborne - Assuming the "horse" body was 1000 lbs.

>Basically they'd have to be the length of a school bus and flapping like a humming bird

>Nope
>>
>>599728741
Check out the bearded liberal in the middle trying to reason with wild animals. Will they never learn?
>>
>>599743892
Inland. I'm not a fish and would be at a clear disadvantage. I'm a very strong swimmer but no gills, no weapons, can't see in water.

On land I could at least pick up a stick or rock to piss something off very slightly before it ate me.
>>
>>599744518
gtfo newfag
>>
>>599744105
would you rather fight ten thousand mantis shrimp sized T-Rexs or one T-Rex sized mantis shrimp?
>>
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>>599743892

Option B, although it doesn't really matter since I'm just going to die from some sort of pathogen I don't have immunities to pretty quickly even if I manage to avoid predators.
>>
How the fuck did my ancestors survive this shit ?
>>
>>599744533
hairy french painter beast
>>
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>>599744350
Wasn't this tested on this stupid show where they build robot animals and measure their capabilities? I believe the fish won because way more muscles.
>>
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Othrocone would be pretty terrifying. A giant squid with a shell that swims in shallow waters? Fuck that
>>
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take your pick
>>
>>599744327
Gears of Jaws
>>
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>>599743892
I have a button in my stomach so I can't swim and I have Thalassophobia. I'm going second option. Also it's a lot easier to be stealthy on land.
>>
>>599734140
That's all just a theory, though.
>>
>>599745293
>y matt

living tentacle fleshlight
big in japan
>>
>>599745154

For the most part your ancestors were small shrew like mammals that would easily be able to hide from the majority of the predators posted in this thread.
>>
>>599745016

ancient mentality
mfw piss into the face of the predator.
predator runs away because my piss is full of amonia.
i have the power of the dick, i should use it to make an social tribal culture that disregards womans as objects
>>
>>599743892
A: if i get tired i can float but as long as im not near a reef, the open ocean is actually pretty empty and I think the sea life would be more confused about a mammal.

if i went with B i feel like everything would be bigger and faster and just see me like an owl sees a rat
>>
>>599745137
Do you have a compromised immune system?
The whole point in being adaptive is so that the immune system can defend you from previously unknown threats.

I'd probably just drown, so I choose land.
>>
>>599730859

that's fascinating, what a nice thread we have here
>>
>>599737239
hominids not hominins stupid
>>
>>599727722
at one time humans were giants too
at one time rats were fucking monsters too

we (all species) go through these cycles of prosperity and atrophy every quarter million years or so
>>
>>599745080
I'd rather fight the little T-Rexs
>>
>>599745518
A scientific theory means much more than a regular theory
>>
>>599730859
nothing but a giant rat
>>
>>599745318
pteraspis, I think armored fish swimming around the ocean would be the shit.
>>
>>599733672
Did our ancestors made those extint by trying to stand on them while they walked?
Something deep inside urges you to ride it.
>>
>>599728804
Looks lime your mom
>>
>>599745154
Scavenged the kills or carnivores using stone knives so that our digestive organs could be selected to shrink and our brains to grow. Bing-bang-boom 2.5 million years later here we are*.

*Details subject to change.
>>
>>599745080
One large mantis shrimp. Ten thousand foot long trex is ten thousand feet of trex. One 30 foot mantis shrimp is 30 feet of pokey arms and no teeth.
>>
>>599745662
>at one time humans were giants too

...
>>
>>599745662
humans never were giants,
as a wholle as a species we ranged betwen 60 cm and 3 meters.
Thread posts: 263
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