Story time /b/ retail/customer support edition >work at pizza

Thats no way to talk about your own mother anon

>bitch starts crying that she is just big boned

Everytime someone tells this to me I laugh in their face, tell them to stop lying to themselves and ask how they can be dumb enough to think bones are made of fat.

If you look fat, you are fat. Being big boned definitely does not make you look fat (if it's even a real thing)

>>598063235
Everytime

Moaaaar

op here
next story

>customer calls and starts ordering
>3 Pizza and some drinks
>everthing normal
>then wants french fries and burgers
>tell him we only have pizza, pasta and salads
>asks why
>explain that we are a PIZZA delivery service
>guy is now completely confused
>tells be he ordered burgers just two days ago
>gets mad at me
>tell him he hasn´t ordered for two weeks
>starts yelling at me and wants to speak the manager
>manager nowhere to be found
>tell him I´m manager at the moment
>starts yelling he will never order from us again
>is actually a regular
>hangs up on me
>next day he orders again as if yesterday hasn´t happened
>manager tells me he does this about once a year

>>598065098
Fuck. Now im craving for some tacos.

>>598065456
me too!

File: b56.jpg (13KB, 276x254px) Image search: [Google]

13KB, 276x254px

Graveyard shift convenience store clerk here. We have some sort of mothership monitoring facility and a direct phone line to contact them, what's a good way to fuck with the people on the other end? I've called them with inane questions.

>>598066541
*already called them
fuck

this drug addict keeps trying to rob the store i work in and fails. one time he never even made it in the door. he made it as far as the register last time but was kicked out despite having a weapon.

Do you faggots drink on the job? I certainly do.

>>598062911

Holy fuck OP I kek'd my arse off

>Least faggot op ever

>Work on the ground floor of a bakery
>bakers work on the top (three floors total)
>I can impersonate our boss perfectly
>They bake bread and get it down walking stairs
>all four bakers are fat as fuck, eat shit all day
>call them impersonating boss
>BRING BREAD NOW WE'RE RUNNING OUT
>they rush downstairs sweating like mofos
>Shitload of bread already on the first floor
>They have to walk up with a shit ton of bread
>Laugh my ass off


the funny part is that they hate this job, are always talking about quitting and how they dont give a fuck, as soon as i call as the boss they're all YES SIR NO SIR OF COURSE SIR

>>598066747
My sides

>be me
>be it support for a bank
>one day, during our busy hours (morning)i get a call for a broken card machine (chip and pin for all you britbongs
>i ask "ok what's wrong with it?"
>they tell me that a homeless looking guy just came in demanding they give him £300, and he tried to use the card machine
>when (no suprises) therre's no money in his account he goes on a rant, screaming about how they stole his money and he was going to kill them, yada yada
>he left and the bank called the police just to be safe
>10mins later he comes back, screaming his head off that he "needs his fix" (smackhead)
>he actually rips the card machine off of the counter and throws it at the staff
>it just bouces off the glass and breaks
>police come in and arrest him
>mfw i've been sat here for 5 min listening to this on the other end
>then they say "it does still work tho"
>mfw

I demand moar

>Customer orders takeout
>two small pizza
>comes about 15 minutes later into store
>tell him the price and get the stuff out of the oven
>he hesitates
>tells me there must be something wrong with the price
>it wasn´t so expensive when he looked at his menu
>thing is, we change the menu every 3 months
>older menus loose validity when a new one comes out
>show him the actual menu with the right price
>tell him he probably has an old menu that isn´t valid anymore and that we also had some price raises in the past
>suddenly get confused myself
>remember that we hadn´t had a raising in good 2 years
>customer pulls out his menu
>it´s 5 years old
>his menu even said in big fat letters:
>this menu is valid till 15 february 2007
>explain it to him again
>pays angrily and calls me a piece of shit
>starts threaten me with food control
>and that he will tell this audacity the press
>runs out forgetting his food

>>598068361
>be me, germanfag
>go into some "alternative" store selling jewelry, hippie clothes and what not
>(female) vendor looks like a hippie, hippiemusic playing
>some girl wants to ask the her a question
>the girl talks with some rather strong german accent
>vendor replies to her, seems to have understood her
>but she replies to her in english
>i start grining
>girl says shes german
>vendor says "sorry, had a busy day" on german
>the girl says no problem and asks another question about a product
>vendor replies on english again
>can barely hold my laughter at this point
>girl looks weird at vendor
>just says bye and leaves the store
>vendor walks back behind the counter as if nothing happened

damn stoners

IT/Customer support stories are always amazing. But the Hambeast stories are just something else. it makes me wonder how major fast food chains can justify pushing their fast food like a drug on people with no self-control.

>>598068869
I kek'd

>>598068869

some men just want to watch the world burn

>>598066747
this is great

>>598067985
>mfw
no image
plz

>>598068869
2pizza4you

I don't have any good stories per se, I just get a lot of weird/retarded customers at the most ungodly hours
>homeless black elvis impersonator, told him to GTF out of my store the other day cause he was pissing me off
>nigerian from nigger africa trying to pull some blatantly fraudulent western union scheme, I just told him that the machine was down
>white trash hick lady trying to scam a free lottery ticket
>some drunk guy had to be pulled out of the bathroom by the police, happened right before I showed up to work
>graffiti in the men's bathroom reads: pls carry takis next time thanks

>stoner fag walks in, comes up to the counter
>notices a cop over by the coffee bar
>leans over the counter and whispers "one pack of swishers pls
>I yell "ONE PACK OF SWISHERS COMIN' RIGHT UP"
>sell him the rillos, he leaves
>cop leaves right behind him
>pulls him over right outside the parking lot and busts him for having weed
>my face is smug_pepe.jpg when it happens

>>598070639
Haha you fucking wanker

more pizza delivery storys

>place closes at 11 pm
>it´s 11:45
>about to close
>money is in the safe, oven has cooled down, pc is shut down
>suddenly two dick come in, asking if they still get pizza
>tell them sry we´re closed
>start begging for pizza
>explain that the oven is already cooled down and my shift is over
>they start whining how hungry they are
>have mercy and offer them things that doesn´t need to be heated, muffins, donuts, icecream and stuff
>Idiot one then throws a tantrum, that he wants pizza and I should get my ass in the kitchen to make him one
>get angry but try to be calm
>tell them to get out
>idiot one is now on the floor like one of those damn brats in the mall
>in the meantime one of the delivery guys came back becaus he forgot his navi
>see him standing outside like "WTF is going on here"
>tell idiot two he should grab his friend and get out or I´ll call the cops
>idiot two panics and dives in the freezer
>tries to grab as much ice as possible
>wants to make a run for it but forgets his buddy
>stumbles over him and falls face first into the cig machine
>see at least 3 of his teeth flying everywhere
>bleeds on the floor
>shit, have to mob again
>hear sirens
>delivery guy already called the police
>tries to tell them what happened
>idiot one still on the floor crying
>they get arrested
>tell manager the next day
>gives me a raise

>>598070860
Wut

>>598070860
kek'd there

>>598069169
What the fuck is this story