>get sick in december >lose 10 pounds >come home from hospital >poor as fuck from hospital bills >12 bucks left >no food >text from best friends (they're a couple) >"you got room in your freezer" >"yes, why? is there a story here?" >"no time to explain be right over!" >they bring me four pizzas they overnighted from chicago >they didnt even know about my money, food, or medical issues, just got me a late christmas present
I'll go ahead and repost my shitty shit in this probable better thread
>tfw you still have a crush on a girl you haven't properly spoken to for 4/5 years (tried and failed a couple of times). She's moving on with her life while you're stuck in a rut, depressed and drinking yourself to death
The worst part is it's all my fault.
Today was her birthday, my internet's been shitty all day and my friends ditched me to get stoned so I've been in my head all day.
On a semi-related note, what are you /b/ros drinking and/or listening to?
>be me >be 5 years old >both dad and i love cars >we both want to get this porsche something hes wanted since he was a kid >he saves up money >i draw a picture of him and i with the porsche >my mom calls my dad >i soon start hearing them fight >i ignore it and keep drawing until i doze off to sleep >next morning i find my drawing >in the trash and ripped to pieces >mom tells me dad didnt like it >i start crying >two months later mom and dad get a divorce >my dad keeps the house and isnt allowed to see me >i move into a new house and i get a new dad >12 years pass >17 years old >find out dad dies from heart problems >i dont care >go to his funeral dont shed a single tear >2 weeks later we go to his house to get his belongings >i head toward the garage >inside was the same exact porsche him and i wanted >untouched and covered in dust >decided to inspect it >look at the glove compartment >its the picture with all the pieces expertly taped together >it turns out my mom ripped it and he went thru the trash to get all the pieces to tape it back together >i start crying my eyes out >i dont talk to my mom anymore
i still own the porsche and i plan to never sell it
>drunk >drinking with people who were my friends firends >feel weird to be with people whom im normaly with cuz they are his friends >Im uncomfortable >whatever bar or house or whatever we go to i just stare at some random thing for 10 seconds and countdown continuopusly till im comfortable to just slink out and leave
tfw i no longer hang out with the friends i like and am with their friends who i hate even though they are nice enough i just want to be either 17 years old agiain or under 12 and not have any worries.
tfw 26 years old and nothing matters and nothing feels good
>Be me >21 virgin beta faggot >Never really been happy since 8th grade >Very few friends. Kinda the weird kid people tended to avoid >Not especially ugly, but chubby enough to be unappealing and harmful to confidence up since last year >No confidence, no gf; no gf, no confidence >infinite spiral into ever expanding hell of depression
>>597063400 I literally cannot stop drinking and have known this for a year now. Try to go to AA meetings but just don't take action. Been downing nearly a fifth a night and now it makes my face red all night into the late afternoon. I now look like shit, and just got prescribed ADHD medicine for some reason which means I can't drink, but the medication makes my face more flushed than anything. Jesus what is wrong with me. Thank you, just neeeded to say this somewhere
Threads like this always remind me I have a place to go to at certain points in the day.
>just turned 20 last month >a NEET for this semester because I was too lazy to register >realizing I have all this free time but I feel like a sack of shit for hardly doing anything with it >sometimes decide to sit down and just do some recordings
It might not be a lot, but, if you guys have anything you wanna hear, I'll say it for you.
>>597065825 I once read a thread on /k/ abiout how said /k/omrad found a round in his brother's shoe and knew his brother was depressed, so he pulled the bullet and removed the powder and put the catridge back in the shoe
his bro tried to off himself, but couldn't because loldud and then there was a happy ending
>>597072869 Those don't sound like friends, they sound like assholes. I've got the red face thing too, and also can't ever stop drinking, though it's been over ten years for me. I've got the next two days off work, so in preparation I bought a half gallon of Wild Turkey 101, and a 24 case of 16oz ice beer, I know it won't last the whole two days, and I'll still be drunk when I get back to work on Tuesday.
Also my wife left me, and I haven't even met our son, he'll be one year old in a month.
I just feel a constant feeling of wherever I am I wish I wasn't there.
At home by myself "man i wish i wasnt here" out with "friends'' at a bar "man i wish i wasnt here" at work "man i wish i wasn't here" out going for a walk by myself "man...i just really wish i wasn't here"
>wanted nothing but to join army from young age >apply at 17, get rejected for some medical reason, they wont tell me >apathy.jpeg >got fat as hell, got a job as a security guard and basically wasted years playing games and living badly >met a girl, she fucked with my head so bad i lost 40kg, suddenly i'm thin and fit again >she treats me like dirt and i start getting all fucked up again >i've never stopped thinking about the army, why they rejected me etc. >call them up and ask why. they tell me there is no recorded medical thing on my record >remember on the day some cunt at reception desk had some dislike for me, i never knew her but she was extremely rude to me but nobody else, start to think she must have fucked with my results or something >25 now, decide to reapply for army. go for interviews, pass everything, they seem to think i've done a captain kirk and turned my life around and offer me a spot in officer school >more than i could have ever expected in my entire life >i go for all the new interviews, applications and advanced medical tests >everything is perfect >they tell me i need to get one more thing, a year 12 maths pass >i decide to do the right thing and do a night course instead of doing their test >quit my job and move to a city that offers the course, apply myself at first and everything is good >first time really living away from my parents, bills and such are very intimidating, so i make sure i get work asap >boss can fucking smell my anxiety, never directly threatens my job, but "anon, you must work today..." >suddenly i'm always fucking working, every day, start off as 12 hour shifts that creep into the night classes, i can still make the second half >boss starts making me pull double shifts. 24 hour shifts. im not fucking joking. >australian worker laws are fucked so i'm basically on my own, cant complain or seek help >there is no other work available in the area that i can do. so i try to apply for welfare
>>597075396 You don't know me, faggot. I have begged that whore to let me see him. I even showed up at the hospital when she was giving birth and the nurses told me to leave or they would call the police. Fuck off you underage piece of shit.
>>597076041 spiced 92 proof rum it's pretty good and pretty "spicy" as in has a lot of spices in it
I'm also smoking vaped bud because I'm a cheapass and don't want to smoke my fresh shit
I really don't like vodka I'm a brandy kinda guy (love me a good brandy and eggnog), and rum is good too that and Leinenkugels Original, shit sucks because I can't find it here in Champaign IL even Binny's didn't have it
>>597076061 >welfare wont happen if i quit my job or get fired (they breach you for 8 weeks, which would mean i'd be evicted) >apply for jobs fucking everywhere, but each week is another week i miss class >teacher decides to be a cunt (she's a fucking high-school teacher basically, so she think she can get away with this shit) and says my attendance is too poor so i will fail. >go to department head and other teachers for help, they all say the same thing "you obviously don't care about passing anyway, since you're never here" >army is calling me almost weekly because i told them the course would only take 12 weeks, it's now week 14 and im still trying to get the fucking college to let me sit the final test >finally convince them by writing to the fucking PM about it, some lackey in the education department convinces them to let me sit the test >boss is still being a fuck head and decides he wont give me the day off for the test >fuck you boss, i'm prepared for this. tell him to shove the job up his fucking ass. >got enough savings to ride out my lease and keep food in my gut until im in the army >the die is cast. >...fail the fucking test >army is saying "maybe you'll be better off as enlisted..." >all my fucking pride and dignity is smashed if i go enlisted now >i shouldn't care but i do >i bet it all, and i lost.
>>597076869 sounds shit bro hang in there try and try again, or take a term as enlisted to get your life on track and build a savings then, with your savings, take that class (and others?) and reapply for officer school
>>597076719 Ah, I see - I'm more of a dark guy, not too familiar with many spiced rums!
>>597076726 Trust me, vodka's not my drink of choice but it's all that's available so I deal with it. Never had brandy myself - only really tried said vodka, Jacky D, and various brands of rum. (spirits-wise, anyway)
>>597077833 nah, but it's true just like most friends are formed thorugh proximety and not any real deeper connection
>>597077824 brandy is really a Wisconsin thing and since my mom's from Wisconsin
on my 21st, my under 21 friend brought me some nog and said he'd pay for a fifth of whatever for a present when I said I was getting Brandy, he'd never eard of mixing brandy and nog neither had any of my other friends or my MN grandparents
>>597078101 well, that sucks but you know what option you still have? French Foreign Legion maybe not for an officer slot, but mil service get fit, and learn French and do your research there are better times of year to apply and such it's competative entrance, but the FFL is a pretty hardcore semi-elite force and you get French citizenship at the end, which means a brand new fresh start
>be me >on dozen or so date with girl from work >she's amazing >loves drinking different beer, has great taste in movies, is picking up video games well enough to be fun playing together >we are walking around town after dinner >"oh hey let's get ice cream!" She says, pointing to the building across the street >"ah I don't know, I'm not really hungry.." I say >"oh come on, I'll buy it then!" >I relunctantly agree and we go inside >walking up to the counter we are greeted by the girl behind the counter with a wide smile >when our eyes meet, the smile dies a little and her eyes look much more sincere as if to say, "hey how have you been." >I manage to smile back as my eyes say, "okay" >while the girl begin the counter waits for our order my date scans the selection and says, "ugh idk what I want. What about you?" >"coconut and coffee with gummy Bears." I say laughing >"ew! thats nasty!" >"haha yeah.." Me and the girls eyes meet again >she laughs and overts her eyes as I do the same >there was no way the girl I was with could have known I had been to this ice cream parlor countless times over the past 6 years. >That me and the girl behind the counter were high school sweethearts, chasing each other to college, and chasing an even bigger dream of marriage >how could she know that we lost our virginities to each other, that we saw each other at our most vulnerable >"uhh I guess I'll just have chocolate and vanilla please." My date says >we get our orders and I tell me date to find a seat >while she is away I slip a 20 in the tip jar >the girl behind the counter isn't smiling anymore >my eyes say I still love her >I remember what her eyes look like when she says it back >and so me and my date left, she never knew who she was >as far as he knew we were complete strangers >and now, I feel like we really are
Hey b I just wanted to say that I tried to kill my self last week and I came back to work like nothing happened, my friends don't know, and my old friends don't care. Life is even worse then it seems, but its alright.
>>597079299 That's okay man, I just saw all my best friends from my childhood for the first time in like 10 years and they all found out im a ba alcoholic in the worst way possible and now they won't talk to me. I'm considering movin because my addiction has pretty much ruined every relationship I have and I think f I start over somewhere new I might not kill myself out of loneliness
>>597079768 I care. I'm glad you're here- because I got to tell you this before I go to (long overdue) bed: >I care. I'm glad you're here- because I got to tell you this before I go to (long overdue) bed: I care. I'm glad you're here- because I got to tell you this before I go to (long overdue) bed: >I care. I'm glad you're here- because I got to tell you this before I go to (long overdue) bed: I care. I'm glad you're here- because I got to tell you this before I go to (long overdue) bed: >I care. I'm glad you're here- because I got to tell you this before I go to (long overdue) bed: g'nite /b/ro. be better to yourself, please?
>>597078894 Ritalin is a stim like addy/vyvanse addy is a mix of dex and levoamphetamine so vyvanse metabolizes into dexamphetamine dex/levo is like two mirror image molecules, and the dex for addy is more potent and euphoric vyvanse metabolizes into dex exclusevily
Ritalin is even less euphoric than levoamphetamine
it really helped me through HS, but I should have stopped like junior year of HS instead of sophomore year of college it kinda fucked me up through college I think
dope for me actually sorta sparks depression like, once I don't have something fun to concentrate on, all I can think about is how I don't like where I am in life shitsux because I had to drop out of my uni and go to community college I feel inadequate because of that and I KNOW that I wouldn't have needed to drop out if I didn't have ADD but I do, so I did, because I couldn't (I can now) do any work without Ritalin going to community college really helped me, but I'm still not sure if I can hack it at real uni if I go back
this semester is kinda make or break for me last semster was my first semster at CC, but I only pulled a 3.2 (was trying for 3.5 GPA) I want to average 3.5 over this semester and last, but I don't know if I can
I just wish I could work like my roommates withour chemical assistance I take Modafinil sometimes to work, and I hate doing even that I feel like an addict to stims, except I hate myself everytime I take either Modafinil or Ritalin or Adderal, but it's the only way I can really get any work done
I wiah I never had ADD I wish I never took ritalin but that's jsut not the way my brain is
sometimes Ithink I'm depressed, and other times I'm sure I'm not
>>597079629 >>597079629 I feel you bro. I had such a great friendship with this girl. I forsook it all, stupidly. We cannot regain what is lost, only hope that we may again feel such a wonderful romance.
You cannot tell what I am drinking? it is some fantastic brandy, Goes down smooth and does a great job of getting me almost drunk enough to forget about the misery weighing on my soul.
>Whole life be told I smart. >never try in school growing up because, eh why prove it. >Get to college >try to prove it >Completely fail multiple times >3 older siblings have more or less failed to accomplish anything with their lives. >Parent's assume I'm currently doing well in school. >know I'm pretty much their last hope for a successful child. >know the truth will be reveled soon. >know deep down that of all, i'll be the most bitter disappointment of all
>>597080616 not finna lie it feels good knwing I'm cheering up some complete stranger on /b at 2 am (my location) feels not useless mang
>>597080999 I mostly dirnk Jon Masson I wan;t really offended or anything just saying, it is indeed a WI thing just like spam is a Hawaii thing people eat it in other states, but they eat a fuck ton in Hawaii
>>597080882 Haha I agree. Except I have hours of down time. I mean like completely alone for 3 hour stretches. I work a graveyard shift at place where wintertime = no business. I'm literally just sitting here browsing /b/
>>597063400 I loved you and I still do but I'm 98 percent sure that even if you decided you could get over me cheating and be with me again, its either because you've been with a bunch of people since (at least one of whom had a dick that's as big as my forearm), you're lonely and I'm easier to get close to again than to have to start over with someone else so you wouldn't really love me you'd just be filling that loneliness, or you're still pissed at me and you want to fuck me over so getting back with me is part of your revenge scheme where you'll either cheat or demean or something else with malicious intent. I really do still love you though, and I think about you every single day and I'm sorry for ever bad thing I ever did to you. I know you're tired of hearing that but that's all I've got.
>>597080280 is that you, me? At least you managed to get to real college. I went off Addy in freshman year high school and went from an decent student to a horrible one. Had to go to a community college right of the bat, where i continue to do awful and have to practically force myself to get any work done. I know i have to get back on some drug to stand a chance at a real university, but i loathe the empty feeling they leave me with. Also doesn't help im retarded with mathmatics
>>597081249 But that is so obvious from the picture! If someone is too drunk to read words in a picture, they are probably too drunk to read the same words in a textbox. that being said, you are at least partially correct. It's damn good stuff.
I found out yesterday that my "best friend" has just been using me for rides back and forth and lying about what has been going on in her life to me and everyone, even after she promised she would never lie to me. feels bad /b/ros.
>>597084006 well to make it worse here is the stroy >be growing up >know girl >be friends with girl >high school >date girl for two years >go inna army >come home find out girl cheated >brakeup with girl >stay friends with girl >other friends form highscool kind of drift apart >shes only freind i have left, think that me and her are best friends and totly honest with eachother. >she starts going to college >lives far away from college >i give her rides back and forth every monday i take her to stay with her sis, every friday i take her home >yesterday be going to pick her up as i do every friday, i head to her school, she texts me "pick me up at my sisters today ok?'" i text back ok, >get to her sisters, wait wait wait, over an hour, try to call and text her no answer, get mad, leave, she finaly calls, "where are you?" >end up going back to get her, ask her "what took you so long to get here" >i got off at the wrong bus stop >find out she didn't even stay at her sisters the night before, she keeps telling me she did, >call her friends from school, find out she didn't even go, she keeps saying she did. >i tell her i was worried about her because she wasn't there and wouldn't answer, she says oh sorry, while not even looking up from her phone, i haven't talked to her since last night even though she has text and called me, i wont answer. it really hurt me how she has been just using me, and then on top of that she lied right to my face.
> Be me > 18 years old > Go on holiday with girlfriend who I love more than anything (no bs I really do) > Start doing couple-like things. Making out, etc. > She goes to sleep and leaves her phone on the couch > Find out she's been cheating on me by sending provocative pictures > Ask her wtf she was thinking > I'm still with her
>>597066402 >my rabbits will always try to escape if they could >they will always be skittish when I'm around >they will never like being picked-up >they will always just expect food instead of appreciate it. >they will never stay because i love them. mfw
>>597086345 Get a damn dog if you want a pet that loves you. Mother fuckers will love you so much that they will kill your friends if they think they're a danger. But get a small one so that they can't actually kill anyone.
>>597086345 get a cat or a dog cat's really do appreciate you, even if they don't show it they show it when you're gone (sauce, sis has pics of my cat content as fuck sitting on my bed after I left for college, and apparently he did it more than once and loved my smell and still waits or me to take him upstairs ~10pm like I always did) dogs love you and show it cat's love you and hide it
>>597085604 >stay friends with girl that's when you fucked up anon there's more women out there especially this time of the year you know which of them are single just by the look on there faces also being single is not bad
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