>Will not reveal personal information >Will not reveal patients' person information >Will tell greentext stories while waiting for questions.
>Just finished putting together kit, scored most of my anesthetics and such from Eastern European wholesalers/etc. >Wonder how I'm going to find connections. >Having a drink at the local watering hole, notice a man with his group of associates, all dressed nicer than everyone else. Talking in hushed tones. >Notice one of them begins wincing and grabbing his side later in the evening after having a few drinks. Notice a stain on his blue button up shirt. >Walk over. They all stare at me. >This man is clearly injured. I would like to assist him. >Go away or you'll get hurt. >Bleeding guy says "Fuck it man, this hurts" >I follow them outside and lead them to my van, I tell him to lie down on the cot and undo his shirt. >Clearly a gunshot wound that was half-assedly stitched. >"The wound was poorly dressed, uncovered, and the over consumption of alcohol thinned the blood causing it to bleed again. There's a high risk of infection. Was the bullet removed? >"I don't fucking know." >Check for exit wound. >No exit wound, bullet is obviously still buried in his flesh. >Prepare an IV, give him fluids, prep a shot of Morphine, administer the shot and tell him to breath slowly. >Get out forceps, scalpel. Cut away dead skin from the wound and point the light at it. Can see fragments. Take my time and remove all fragments I can see. Guy is wincing and crying. Tell him it'll all be alright. >Disinfect, get my suture kit. Stitch up the wound proper. Apply antibacterial ointment and wrap with gauze. >Check his signs, he's stable. >Look up at the other guy in the van with me >"He'll be fine. Give him these painkillers 3 times a day with food, change the dressing twice a day and don't have him do any rigorous activity. Meet me back here in 2 weeks and I'll do a follow up.
Varies according to client and job. The bullet job for example paid me 1000 dollars for about 50 bucks in material and less than an hour of work.
I've done some work for free, the most I've been paid is 15000 for a single job.
The guy was practically dead and I actually had to take him to my safehouse from the van for almost a week. He was set on fire and shot in the legs. I amputated his left leg below the knee and scored him a prosthetic. He was also permanently scarred from his crotch to his neck. No infections or complications though. He's living. Not so happy or pretty. But living.
>A woman was brought to me one night >"Doctor, we heard you could help, my sister is hurt. Her boyfriend stabbed her and she's bleeding bad." >"I can see that. Bring her in" >Woman has been stabbed 5 times in the stomach. Crying her eyes out. Yelling for her sister to not call Michael. >IV, fluids, Morphine >I wipe the area clean after stripping her down and investigate her. Notice her underwear are stained as well. >"I need to look at her privates" >"Why? That's fucked up" >Remove her panties, they peel off. >Massive damage - she has been raped and stabbed in the vagina multiple times. >Will spare you the details of treating a knifed up pussy. It's not pleasant. Also she had herpes. >Check for internal bleeding, no damage. >Stitch up all her knife wounds, give the other woman her medication and instructions. >"Do not sell this on the street. I know you're prostitutes, I know she was raped and I know you'll try to do it. If you sell this. I will know. And I will make your life hell." >Never see them again after that night. >Three weeks later a large black man comes up to me while I'm shopping for Nitrile gloves and face masks. >"Thanks for helping my girl, Doc" >Throws me 500 dollars. >"Anytime, sir. Anytime."
>>596600821 is being a doctor better in other countries than the US? Instead of going to med school to become a legit doctor, what other methods of learning the doctoral trade would you recommend? Reason I'm curious is I like to help people as well.
>>596600821 Med student here... I understand your point, in fact I fuckinb hate the people who study with me. It's all about the ego and money and shit. I'd like to graduate and just move to a rural area and help those people out.
>Man comes to me with a couple other men. >Says he's been having extremely bad pains >"Where at." >He says he doesn't want to talk in front of the other men. >"Gentlemen please wait in the sitting room." >They leave, he is beet red. >"Look, I'm a big guy, I'm shy, I suck at gettin' chicks" >"And?" >"I saw one of them hookers that beats you...you know...a...dominatrix?" >"Alright, drop your pants" >Check out his penis first, it's beat to shit. Scabbed over bloody sores. Not like STDs but like stabs. >Check his scrotum, same thing. >"You need to tell me what's up. What did she do?" >"She stepped on my dick and balls with heels" >"And you never thought to wash it or take care of it?" >"No..." >"You also have some warts here. You are aware you have HPV?" >"What's that? Like AIDS?" >After explaining it to him I clean up and tell him how to treat his wounds. Explain that he may be impotent at this point. Advise not to visit such whores again. >Now comes the hard part. >I have to get rid of his genital warts. >Liquid nitrogen treatment. His screams are as sad as his story. >Let him go with anti-biotics and pain killers. >He came back 3 weeks later with rectal tearing because she fucked him with a strap on too hard.
Let's see how legit this dude actually is. Starting off with an easy one:
Patient is brought in with fractures in her hand. Female, 25. She is hysterical and nurses state she was violent. Tox negative, blood normal, pressure and pulse elevated. She has a med history with two injuries in the past two months, one of which was suspected to be a suicide attempt. She reports she punched a wall out of anger. (You noted hastened speech.) She admits one of the injuries was in fact a suicide attempt, but "that she got over it".
>>596602640 since OP is not a legal doctor he'd probably treat the fractures and give her some pain killers. There isn't anything he can do about her mental instability. I don't OP has prozac lying around.....dick
Observation. Check medical history extensively, watch for reaction when interviewed by nurse versus doctor.
Hastened speech and hand injury with history of mental illness as well as violent demeanor indicate a history of abuse. Check for other injuries.
Suspect Battered Woman syndrome, obtain proper information through treatment and interview, administer anti-depressants and observe for 24 hours. Contact authorities if initial diagnosis correct. Perscribe therapy and SSRI. Follow up bi-weekly.
You'd be surprised how nice the guys are. They're more happy that I actually exist and am willing to help them. Occasionally a small timer tries to act tough around me, but I just don't buy into the bullshit.
>>596603320 Forgot to add the injury is from being slammed in a door.
>>596603320 Patient is single and there never was a police report. Responds equally to nurses and doctors. (Should have added that.)
After treatment, she becomes more erratic and euphoric and has to be restrained at some point. Didn't sleep at all and reports barely sleeping 24h prior to coming in. First injury was minor head trauma. Apparently due to fainting after partying two straight days. Second was a month later, the self harm.
(Dude, making patients up without making it too obvious is hard as fuck.)
>>596604340 I wish I had rich mummy and daddy to pay for my tuition. >Working class, single parent household. >Household income £8,000 Should I drop out? I'm only here because I really want to help people to the best of my abilities and many of the most important doctors in history studied here so I thought it was a good start. Any advice?
How does it feel to know that you're probably one of the biggest bad-asses on the streets? Seriously, I'm no med student nor do I want to be anywhere near the medical scene, but the idea of a doctor who does "off the record" work in a fucking van is pretty sweet, must admit. Based anon doing good work.
>Overweight woman brought to me by husband. >She stinks. She absolutely reeks. >I already assume the worst and decide to ask the husband what's going on. >"She's just been feeling super sick and can't keep her food down. Her mood is bad." >Get stats, hook up, she has elevated blood pressure and heart rate, labored breathing. >Flip on the fans and try to circulate the air a bit, my mask is NOT helping. >I lift up the woman's stomach flap and am horrified to see necrotic flesh, maggot infested and oozing with puss. >She's crying in Spanish. >Husband says they couldn't go to a normal doctor because they're illegals. >Cut away the dead infected tissue, remove the maggots, disinfect everything, double check for any remaining critters. The pan is full of maggots and dead fat and rotted skin. I sew her up, it took a LOT of stitches. This was a foot across at least. >I administer another dose of anesthetic and prescribe anti-biotics, pain killers, and a DIET. >She comes back with her husband 3 months later. >She's lost over 100 pounds. Is happier, healed up nicely. >He says he convinced her by showing her the pan full of maggots and rot. >I tell him to keep his money. >I saved a life.
>>596605359 Don't feel bad anon, I still think the only reason I got was because of my low income background. What were you applying for? I also had a couple mates applying for Land Economy and only one of them got in.
>>596605752 Tough crowd with NatSci with the recently raised entry requirements and all. Sometimes it just doesn't go right no matter what. I just opted to be put into any college that would take me and so I ended up at Trinity. Maybe take a /useful/ gap year and try again next year.
One last thing, did you meet the entry standards? A*A*A?
>>596598443 maybe it's been answered already but I've only been reading greentext so far.
So how did you come to start practicing medicine illegally? Did you go to university and not complete your program? Did you fail the licensing examinations? Did you figure you'd make more money undercover? Or do you have some weird doctors without borders ideology?
>>596606139 I'm in second year 6th form, predicted A*A*A*, though unsure if I'll get it. Its difficult to predict with maths because you could get >90% overall but the A* depends on 2 exams. I would perhaps consider taking a gap year if I got A*A*A* but I might ask for some feedback from them first, see whether its likely I would get an offer. St Andrews seems like a cool place, I'm visiting in a few weeks.
She's not my usual type of patient, I mostly deal in surgeries and quick fix ups. Also physical therapy and aftercare.
I dated a girl like that in college and she turned out to just be Bi-Polar/Manic Depressed. So that's honestly my guess. If I'm wrong I'm sorry. One anon was right when he said I'd likely fix the hand and send her off with pain meds.
Lack of hygiene, personal care, and the constant scraping of wet, sweaty, chaffed fat flesh against fat flesh. It's a bacterial fucking gold mine.
>>596606617 Yes. I have. They are burned. Or given to the client for funeral arrangements. I have attended the funeral of every person who has died under my care.
>>596607093 Not just anyone can do this anon, it takes an iron stomach, a willpower to not to wrong, and the ability to love and care for even the most horrible of person. You take on a bit of that person's suffering every time they come to see you.
If you can't handle the pain of being shot or terminally ill yourself, you can't handle the pain of helping those who are themselves, ill or injured.
>>596607199 Maybe. If there's one thing I've discovered about Cambridge is because most students don't dare apply in case they 'waste that precious UCAS slot' and so they can afford to look at every candidate with a fresh view and a lot of detail.
>>596608096 For the same reason they thought it was a good idea to play with gasoline and fire crackers. People are idiots and don't understand the severity of an injury until it starts to change color and stink.
>>596608131 a bit jealous of your amenities and the money, but other than that you guys seem to stick together a lot and not socialise in other colleges as much. we have a swap with your girls on sunday though
>>596607713 greens are alright man, flawed policies but well-meaning, at least you're not amelia horgan
Sorry I'm slow guys, dealing with some things today.
I'll try to post some more Greentext.
>A father and daughter come in to see me. >Not my usual clientele, I'm nervous. >They tell me who sent them and I believe them. As he's seen me for everything from infections to a broken leg to a cold. >She's been having bad vomiting spells, can't keep anything down, super moody. >Girls about 14. In decent shape. >Tell her to lay down. Take her signs. Ask some questions. >Go down checklist of symptoms and ask the magic question. >"Have you been sexually active, miss?" >They both shoot upwards and say no, start saying I have no right to ask that. >I continue investigating, do some basic tests. No medicine given. Come back when the tests are done. >Run blood tests, swab, etc. >This girl is preggers. >They come back. >"She's pregnant." >"NO SHES NOT" shouts daddy. >Girl starts crying and opening up like I'm Barbara Walters. Turns out she's been having sex with her dad for 3 years. He didn't pull out and she's knocked up. >Recommend abortion. >They accept. .... ........
>Drink an entire bottle of Wild Turkey afterwards.
>>596608845 An amputation isn't that difficult, dude. It's just taxing as fuck. And cheap prosthetics aren't either. The only real challenge is post-op. But pumping a patient full of antibiotics and get him to be careful do the trick. >not OP
>>596609503 As much as I hate Cracked they would love this and would proabaly pay you quite a bit. I remember how big the '5 things you didn't know about smuggling weed'. They love the whole 'insider' sort of a criminal type stories.
>>596609512 Had you kept any contacts from your time in med school? If so - how many of them know about your profession? Would you trust any of them enough to let them know or possibly assist in obtaining supplies?
>>596608675 >The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood. >Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact. I hope for your sake this is some brilliant fiction.
>>596606909 Majoring in Digital Cinematography, even though I know it won't happen. I'd love to shoot a documentary about the people like you. Im sure you're not the only one. Still assuming your not bullshitting
>>596610647 Just because you never left you never left your basement doesn't mean everyone else hasn't.
I've worked at a nursing home, no qualifications,
I've held peoples hands while they died, I've seen pee and poo in every single state and have had to clean it up afterwards, I've been sexually harassed by multiple ladies over 80, I've been beaten, seen people bleed from their own stupidity I've seen infected bed soars and rotting feet, I've lubricated a prolapsed anus, like 6 inches long, as wide as a bottle.
Some of the stuff OP did was a lot worse, however all of this I experienced above board before I was 20.
>Get a message from one of my frequent clients >It's his mother. She's hurting bad. >They come in, the woman is 78 years old. With Dementia and Alzheimers. She won't go to a doctor but came to see me because her son convinced her I was her brother. >"Oh Johnny! I haven't seen you in years! You look so handsome." >Her name is Anna. >"Hey Anna, I'm glad you're doing well. I understand you're feeling sick" >She says she's fine. Her signs are horrible, her skin is rotted and sagged. Hospice was no option because her son was living in her house dealing weapons and drugs. >Everyone crying. I have to keep it together. >I give her small doses of painkillers to help her sleep, her EKG is slow. >I put my hand on hers and she squeezes. >Her son looks at me and says "Doc...I'll pay you anything...just...end her suffering". >She wakes up. >Smiles at me >I offer her a glass of water >She takes it, saying "Thank you Johnny. I was so thirsty." >She drinks the whole glass. >Holding my hand in one and her sons in the other, she drifts into sleep. >She dies. >There was Potassium Cyanide in the water.
Okay, now since I'm probably nowhere near you I can't come do it myself. And you likely don't have the materials, so I would go to a Walk-In Low-Income clinic.
What will happen is they will prep the area with Lidocaine or another local anesthetic to numb it before removing the entire nail. They will then use acid to burn the root so it won't grow back in.
You will be given Amoxicillin and a decent painkiller.
It's an outpatient. If you want to do it yourself you need to get a hold of some local anesthetic, a scalpel, and some Fish-Mox (You can get it from the pet section, it's the same as normal ammoxicillan)
It'll hurt like a bitch though, I'd just go to a welfare style walk in clinic.
>>596609747 the whole point of him doing this is so he didn't have to go to the police with this shit. it's not his job to arrest these fuckers, just like it's not a pschologist's job to bring people to justice.
>>596612012 This guys question shoulda been immediately apparent... Like He said Emergency depts. see these people ALOT.. I don't have any medical training, but I got it... What convinced me that OP is a Lying fag is the whole story about the Pimp givin' him $500 for fixin' up "His girl". (Who is now scarred up and not worth the Pimps time.. Not to mention Niggers are worse than Jews with $$$..
>>596612165 here as well bro, had it on and off for the past 1.5 year, but too poor to visit a clinic (not even in the US, I just can't afford the yearly tax and thus if I went to a clinic they could give me a huge fine). get a little bit of dental floss, use some hydrogen peroxide or alcohol to disinfect the area and stick the dental floss in the very corner of your nail (as in: below it, but with a little bit sticking out so you can pull it out later). also, aloe vera does wonders - get the plant, then every morning cut part of one leaf off, but it across and dab the wet inner part on the sides of your toe, where it's growing in. relieves pain, kills bacteria and actually helps in fixing the whole problem.
>>596612046 I'm gonna have to call bullshit on this. I've had much worse infections and ingrown toenails (due to the way my toes formed when I was born). To the anon who posted that picture, go to a podiatrist. I can confirm that (no offense Dr. Anon) that they'll handle it much better than a general MD. They're trained specifically for things related to the feet and they'll get it nice and fixed up for you. You don't need to lose the whole nail, just the corners that are digging in temporarily to the side of your toe.
>>596605089 Something wrong here. You never stitch up an abscess on a pannus, nor would you ever do this to necrotic tissue of any kind. You leave it open, pack it, and let it heal by granulating. Immediate skin grafting (which would require suturing) also is the wrong management.
I'm a surgeon in Chicago. 4/5 years in residency.
Btw I'm currently on trauma, gunshots and stabbing are kinda common in case you haven't heard. Makes for good stories
>>596613102 refer to >>596612894 it probably won't completely heal it (the longest I had no pain at all was ~2 months, then I kicked a wall hard while drunk and it came back), but it can really relieve the pain and keep it under control until you can afford treatment
>>596612894 Guy you responded to but I keep the nail in check by trimming it back so it only has the part that is infected and I wash it out daily but I do need to get ahold of some alcohol and hydrogen peroxide. I'll eventually go to a free clinic but with my job I can't afford to be off my feet for an extended period of time.
>>596612046 Ha! Clandestine genetics fag here. I use fish antibiotics for a selectable marker, it's the only good way to get them without a pharmacy. This is something few people would know or think to look up until they actually encountered the need for it. Have a little more faith in the stories now.
Tips on sourcing weird materials beyond the obvious "look for other places it's used?" I need different things, but maybe you have some general advice. I have to synthesize a lot of shit because lab supply places won't sell to some guy in an apartment.
>23 male >2 years ago mother had a nervous breakdown after losing her house >she was depressed, didn't eat, didn't bathe for a week >diverticulitis, finding cancer on ovaries >had hysterectomy to remove cancer >had to sit with her for weeks >still feel guilty about drinking before seeing her >I have little to no money and she still has to supplant some of my income
Also >was semi fatfag >5'11 225 >down to 200 >depression says nope >back up to 230 / 235
I'm coming out of it now, regular sleep schedule, not spending an entire day in bed. But I know I'm susceptible to them, and want to be able to keep myself on track when I feel it coming on.
>>596613355 >trimming it back so it only has the part that is infected tbh I have no idea what you mean by that, but don't, DON'T excessively trim it when you do trim it, make it so the nail forms a straight line (it's cut in a very wrong manner on the photo posted, trimming it like that causes more tension to the sides of the toe, effectively worsening the condition)
>>596612012 It's very common in hospitals. If he is for real, he worked in a hospital or was at least trained as if he would be. Manic patients are very easy to detect. The fact he didn't guess it after I told him it got worse with SSRIs makes his story questionable.
>>596613528 give me a rest lel twice it came back by itself without any embarrassing events happening, but it can still be quickly brought under control with proper hygiene it's at its best when it's summer, since access to fresh air does wonders - had no problems at all because I could just walk around in sandals most of the time
You would benefit from anti-depressants. I'd recommend Lexapro, it's not as habit forming as Xanax and is a lot simpler to ease into. If you happen to get the rare side effect of erectile dysfunction? Supplement with Welbutrin XL. Take the Lexapro once in the morning with a Welbutrin, and one more Welbutrin midday. You can take them with or without food but do it the same every time so it's absorbed into the body the same way each dose.
>>596613735 It's hard to explain but I'll try, basically you have the sides of the toe nail that are infected and you have the very front edge of it (I don't know basically the end of the toe nail not the sides) and I tend to trim it as in pic to but trying to trim the nail that is dug into the side to relieve pressure and wash out the infection as best as possible. I know I need the actual nail removed (I've had multiple infections due to how my toes form) right now I'm just keeping it in check so my nail or some shit doesn't grow out through the skin.
>>596613181 Not op, but are you retarded? Ingrown toenails lead to infection pretty easily, and while normally isolated, if left unchecked can get into the bloodstream and/or bone (according to my podiatrist). I have MRSA right now thanks to my ingrown toenail.
>>596614635 never heard of an ingrown fingernail, a lot of people have hardened skin there (in my case it might be because of biting the skin off), unless it hurts or something I doubt you should worry
>>596614298 You mentioned potassium cyanide, I need cyanides all the time for reactions but the only route I know of that I can do is to produce HCn gas and then push it through a column of KOH and water, and I don't have a good fume hood.
Maybe I'll scale this back a bit. What are the absolutely essential drugs and by what means do you get them? I'm not interested in narcotics, just sourcing things that are otherwise at least loosely controlled.
I actually need to go. But I can spare one more because the response has been nice.
>A man comes into my warehouse >He's completely dead-eyed. Dressed like a normal guy. But just...you can tell somethings wrong. >"Do you need something, sir?" >"I think I'm sick. Doc." >"Alright, well, come in here and let's get you checked out." >"I was at a party a few weeks ago and I think I might have caught something." >"And you bring this to me why? You should be able to get this sort of thing at a clinic." >"My fathers a preacher so...." >"Gotcha." >Take some blood samples, also check out his complaints, rectal tearing, raw penis, etc. >Patient had gone to a party at a fetish dungeon and been involved in a group sex event. >Give him some pain medication, and some ointment to ease the pain and risk of infection, tell him I'll call him with the results. >Run tests. >Holy shit, this guy is HIV as fuck. >Call him on throw-away and tell him to come see me. >He shows up. >"I'm not going to mince words sir, you're HIV Positive." >"Oh thank God, I was so worried I wasn't. >"....Excuse me? You realize how horrible news this is?" >"Oh no, it was a breeding party. I wanted to."
And that's it for today. And that's how I learned about bug chasing and gifting. Good night /b/.
>>596614298 >Lexapro + Welbutrin Er... I think he'll be fine with St John's Wort for now, OP. 300mg for 4 weeks, upping by 300mg if need be until 900mg. (Check examine.com for hyperflorin-content)
And if he shows signs of mania, head to the nearest psych. >>596614849 Go see an expert. That's what they are there for. >>596615198 Because the tests he does are purposely not open to anyone but doctors/psychologists, so nobody can cheat. Not to mention experience and the endless neurological tests he can run. Hell, even a psychotherapist could diagnose this shit easily. It isn't that hard. Worst case is that they fail the differential diagnosis, which will become apparent withing 1 month of therapy tops.
Just don't go to a shit doctor. Also stay the fuck away from psychoanalysts. They will screw you up for life and take all your money. (Generally learn the difference of the words psychiatrist, psychologist, psychotherapist and psychoanalyst. Most anons fail right there.)
>>596614298 >You would benefit from anti-depressants. I'd recommend Lexapro, it's not as habit forming as Xanax and is a lot simpler to ease into I thought xanax was for anxiety though. Your anon patient made no mention of any type of anxiety, so why give him a benzodiazepine?
>>596615590 >Because the tests he does are purposely not open to anyone but doctors/psychologists, so nobody can cheat. Yeah, I got really surprised how tight this is. I tried numerous times to get some of these books and tests and guess what? Fucking impossible. Shit, it's easier to get us state secrets than this shit.
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