>>596511570 And I should care because? I will live my life just fine. In all honestly we need plebs who are conditioned to join armed forces out of some tired old sense of nationalism but I won't fucking thank them for being lower class grunts.
>>596510978 Practice does not make perfect. Practice makes permanent. (your skill level is determined by how you practice. So practice good to be good. Practice bad and your skills will be bad, permanently)
Nobody is perfect anon. Real perfection does not exist because of how we perceive perfection.
>>596511702 Not sure what I could say. I have friends and family,.yet they continue to die. I lost my mother and stepfather in a car accident, best friend was put away in prison for rape charges, and got shanked by his cell mate. The only two people I have left are my dad and grandmother. And even my grandmother is beginning to fade... Overall, just upset at the fact that most of my friends and family are dead. Nothing truly special, to be honest...What about you?
>>596512087 There was a magazine article I read about his life after his life-changing injury. I'll look it up in a bit. In the meantime, to sum it up...the Gunny's wife left him and he had to take care of his two kids.
>>596510488 I held my dying friend in Iraq after a raid. Reinforcements just couldnt get through fast enough. He kept telling me to run and hide. I miss you Pete, I would of never fucking left you even if they were kicking down the door
>I have a family. my fiance died in 2008 my oldest brother died in 2009 my youngest brother died in 2010. he was hit by a car while walking home. I still have mom 2 sisters and a brother. dad and me don't get along. >Im an alcohol abuser > work for the gov't due to shitty laws and shitty bosses I now make 800$ less a month than I have been for the last 2 and a half years. >Was homeless before this job. Finally stable, >800 dollars a month is the difference in between me maintaining or me losing everything. I can't afford my car anymore but my city has shity transportation so car's are needed here. if i lose my car i basically lose my job. I need my job to keep my car and my place. I have poor credit and a maxed out credit card from right before i went homeless... >payed off some of it but had to spend the money on getting to my grandmas funeral last jan. >i've been making minimum payments since. Anxiety, sleep apnea, and asthma.. all diagnosed last month. >on final written warning due to side effects of my medications and an episode pre-medication. owe the bank 14000 for my car 2 and a half years left on payments. car would only sell for 10,000 >i'm surviving off of rice and my sisters food stamps >friends with ex girlfriend so free alcohol due to her being a bartender. >pop pills with her and she does cocaine but numbness freaks me out so i can't handle that stuff. So nothing particular either.. just kinda feel like shit most of the time... other times I'm high
My Dad's death was pretty bad for me. >be 15 >get told dad has cancer. > have a vague idea of what that is. Basically think it's an illness and that he can make it through anything >sister is a year younger and getting into trouble. >grandma moves in to help dying dad (didn't know or maybe didn't accept that he was actually dying) >sister becoming too much, has to move to moms house several states away. >dad is in pain, refuses to live with tubes and shit in a hospital. Many times he'd try his best to get up and go to the bathroom at night. Often he'd fall on his way there. I'd keep my door open at night just so I could pick him up and take him there. I can't tell you how rough it was having to handle my dad like he were my sick son. I'd also do this to prevent my grandma from worrying. >It's getting worse. He's going blind from a tumor and now can't get up at all. >"Good night Dad" I'd say. He'd reply, "Good night Dad". >Grandma: "did he say goodnight dad?" "No Grandma, he said goodnight anon". My dad died when I was 17. He held on for 2 whole years when they gave him 4 months max. He was strong. I fully believe he held on wanting to make sure me and my sister were okay. My uncle, grandparents, everyone thought the same too. One of the hardest parts were 1 week before his passing my uncle (his closest friend) and I told him it was okay to let go. Telling him that tore me up. But he was in pain and I felt I had to. I had to tell him, "I'm going to be okay dad. I'll take care of my sister."
Nearly 10 years later and typing that is making me tear up.
My parents were snorkeling on the last day of their two week Hawaiian vacation. Snorkeling is my fathers favorite thing to do anywhere it is warm enough. He will stay in he water for hours. He loves to dive really deep, touch the bottom, come back up, and then dare us to do the same. He is always so proud of everyone's accomplishments (his included) no matter how small they may seem. On this particular day, my parents were snorkeling in a popular spot in Oahu. They had been in the water for over an hour and decided to head back to shore. My dad began to feel tired, so they stopped to float on their backs while my Dad caught his breath. After a few minutes, he told my Mom that he didn't think he would be able to make it back to shore. He is a great swimmer, but a big guy, and my Mom wouldn't be able to get him back to shore on her own so she asked nearby swimmers for their help in pulling him back to shore. By the time they made it to the shore, he was already dead. My father had a massive heart attack and died in minutes. He had no pain. My father passed away, floating on his back in the warm waters of Hawaii, staring at the blue sky. The last image he had in his head was beautiful, his last smell was the ocean, his last thoughts were peaceful and the last voice he heard was my mother. Is there a better way to go?
>>596518678 Well, you have to take into account that a squad is a very tightknit friendship. When one goes down, you don't think of running, you think of trying to save him, since he is your friend. Also, the No Man Left Behind ideology is engraved in soldiers minds.
>a life is a life, they all have meaning. all very important to specific people, but not all are important to society. Some people live, good. Others die. best to mourn at the loss of someone significant to your life than to feel guilt over the loss of a stranger (though it is sometimes sad to see or hear about). people die, you try to rise up from their mistakes, not mourn for the rest of your life, you're supposed to overcome that hardship.
this is kind of a funny story :D so, i was dating my gf for 13 years, about 12 years of it was long range relationship since she is still goinig to school, doctors degree (or what its called).
anyway, last year october we decided it was time to think of a child (which we thought we would have in about 2 years when she finishes school), so she stopped taking the pill. in december she dumped me with arguments that i dont care for her i dont want to have a doghter with her i dont want to marry her (i was always saying i wanted to stay with a girl because i love her, not because of a ring, although i was ready to propose this year, already had the ring....would be a nice suprize)...
we split up (she dumped me) around 10th january. since then i was a mess, picked myself back up with a little help of my friends.... ...and of course spied on her FB account and her email. of course i found out there was another guy, which didnt even bother me as much that he was 10 years older than her, he was also a doctor....and i thought, a man my girl deserver....or so i guessed.
of course after doxing him and stuff, i doxed his wife, his 3 children(this one was hard since he has 1 kid about 8 years and 2 twins about 1.5 years.) and this is where it all started bothering me...
my EX was also from a broken up family, her dad ran to another country, cus he had shit with the law and came back 10 years later to devorce EXs mother adn re-marry a russian girl which was a little bit older than EX. continued:
and now she was ready to break someone elses family??? of course i was looking for excuses for her: i didnt give her enough atention, shes very stressed because of work and doing that doctor thing, that married dude was there during the week(they work in the same building), blowing the right tunes she needed to hear, the pill withdrawal was screwing with her hormones...i had a lot of excuses for her.
but she kept going into a relationship with him, saying how she will take care of his kids and stuff, how they will have a doughter together.... LIKE HIS WIFE DOESNT EVEN EXIST!!!
IT WAS FUCKING MY BRAIN!!
so, im over with the help of friends, weed, alcohol and alltoggether 30mg of apaurin, never took more than 10mg per day but i t worked wonders since i thought i was having a heart attack because of an anxiety attack.
aaaaaand, last week, our neighbour went missing, he had a construction buisness and it seems he made suicide or ''went missing'' because of debts and he left behind a young wife with 2 kids.. see where im going???
the question, how to handle my EX, her dude, his wife and how to make some contact with the neighbours wife, well, question is more when...since her husband is only missing for a week and she already hates him because he was lying to her about debts, other stuff. they were running the buisness together.
i would still want to have my EX back and want fot things to be as they were, but she realy tore my heart out and i want to get back at her and start a family (with neighbour) before she does, without having to destroy some others family...wicked sotry, i know..
>>596510978 I have love the same girl for 10 years.. Have broke 3 years ago of a relationship of 8 years, now she still think about me (I just now, I dont now how) and I think about her every day since we broke... We always Dream that we could be together forever, and for diferent circumstances we both know that we could never be together again... So, I think I can say dat I know how you feel.. Keep going bro...
I'm lower than I've ever been /b/. Some serious health issues have completely derailed my life to the point where I'm basically house ridden. Won't get into too much detail, as it's complicated, but I'm in a lot of physical and emotional pain and I don't know when (or if) its gonna end. Life can be so hard, especially when you can't see a light at the end of the tunnel.
>>596515282 My feels. My dad is a drug addict. Has been for most of my life. It's so sad, because there are days that he's sober. He's fun to talk to, and is very personable. But then there are the bad days. Days where he walks around like a zombie. Days where he gets behind the wheel and ends up in a ditch. Days where he just leaves and we don't know if he'll come back alive. I've tried everything, from love, to support, to anger, to telling him I don't want him in my life. But no matter what happens, I'll always love him. He's my dad. I just wish he knew how much I cared. Currently crying as I type this. Please tell your family you love them, /b/, no matter what the situation is. I don't know how long he has before he overdoses and kills himself, but I hope it's not soon. Thanks for listening guys.
hey guys.... I know this is said a lot, but I just want to tell you guys something. the past few days have been very rough for me. over the course I became very close to a girl, I can tell story if you guys want but I did once and it was bad, but I'd be willing to refine it but as usual say the wrong thing or to much of the right thing and shit happens. thank you /b/rothers for being there with me when I needed you the most, I used to lurk and feel bad but never before did I have my own story to share thank you
>Back in Junior year of Highschool 2012-2013 (I'm 19 now.) >Love my grandpa to death, >My legitimate hero >He gets diagnosed with ALS (Lou Ghericks disease) >Slowly loses all motor functions. >Have to get him motor wheel chair for him just to move >He slowly realizes how great life is and that you should cherish it as much as you can with the people you love. >Spend as much time with him as possible before he goes >Talk about old times while listening to The Beatles for days on end. >One day he says "Anon, I'm glad that I have you as my grandson. I'm so happy your mother had you. You've made me so damn proud. All I want to do is make it to your graduation but I'm sorry. I know that I wont be able to make it. I love you." >Slowly cry and hug him >Few months later, it's the summer of 2013 >He passes away peacefully. >Goes to his funeral and the church is completely packed from head to toe. Barely had any place to sit. >Not even a single bad thing said. Nothing. Only how great he was and people getting to laugh at the funny shit he did. >I'm just crying but slowly laughing at the stories that people brought up. >Ends with people just loving each other. >Year and a half moves on. It's now December 2014. >Grandma decides to move an hour away. She cant stand the house because it reminds her of him. >Help her move. >Finish moving her in after a week or two >Come by and visit. >I go to the back room and find a picture of me as a toddler and my grandpa. >It was his favorite picture of us. >Just burst into tears and lock myself in the room. >All memories come back and suddenly, I'm happy. >Move on with the rest of my day.
I miss that old coot. He was fucking great. Just thought I'd share that.
>>596525518 no, crying is not for pussies, if it is then I am a pussy. I've never cried before this weekend, least not for something important, when my grandmother died years ago I did not shed a single tear, but then I realized the error of my ways. Crying is a sacred act of shedding the pain of something important to you, putting that pain into tears and letting them drip from your face, and hopefully that pain goes away with the rain. so you sir are the pussy for not showing emotions
>>596524869 >my grandpa passed away 2 weeks ago >he was kinda sick, smoking is bad kids >we werent really close, but ofc I loved him, he is my grandpa >he is from spain and he always was like the stubborn old man, very though >when he started getting sick he said he wanted to meet my gf >first time seeing his "soft side" >never take her to his house >fucking bitch broke my heart later >been single for more than a year >I knew how important his descendancy was for him >he is gone now >feel like I dissapointed him a little
>>596524869 My grandfather by my mom's side died waaaay before I was born. I only know him by stories and pictures. My grandfather by my father's side died when I was 7 aprox. I really never get to know him since I was fucking 7 years old.
As far as I can tell, they were as amazing as your grandpa. May their souls rest in peace and I hope we both make our ancestors damn proud.
>>596526736 thanks /b/ro, looking forward to posting more good stuff
>grandma passed away this year >only story that I shared was when I was little >she loved mini golf and would always take me >got super competitive and played hard >she always won >this continued for many years >finally one day I beat her >next month she is diagnosed with a brain tumor >tfw I was the last person to have real contact with her and it was me beating her in mini golf Feels bad man
>>596526116 I'm not going to greentext because I'm lazy. So I'm a college freshman, 18 y/o decided I wanted to change who I was, instead of the nerd with no chance at girls I decided that I was going to be the playa, boy was I wrong. anyway my dorm is a freshman dorm, so they wanted to do something to get us to bond a little. So a few floors were invited to go to a campsite that the college owns. I had plans to go with someone else but she bailed, my fault, again the wrong phrase wrong time, but I still went mostly because I said I would. So we are waiting for the vans to pick us up and I see a few people from my floor socialize with them a little, vans arrive and I get in, sit next to this qt3.14, and I really mean she was gorgeous. she had slightly short hair, the color of copper, eyes of a greyish blue, and the best smile I ever saw on a girl. So me being me, I chat her up a little, just being friendly, I could see she hadn't expected it, looked like she hadn't gone with anyone else, so I kept her company. Course at this time I was trying to get into her pants, so I followed her like a lost puppy. just got some basics from her, her name, where she was from, etc. but she made the mistake of letting me know she had a problem on her mac. Now I'm no tech expert but I said I'd give her a hand. Nighttime comes around and in the morning they wanted to go hiking, was an easy hike but she couldn't go because she had flip-flops instead of sneakers. I imagine she thought she saw the last of me, but that was far from the case. (will be continued in different posts to prolong the thread)
>>596511570 Unfortunately, as a Southerner, I'm well aware that a huge percent of those people are literally racists who give zero shits about American freedom and just want to kill non-whites while being both paid and praised for it.
Do I support our troops? You're goddamn right I do. Do I support a bunch of hicks out for blood and then hide behind a fucking flag when people point out that they're monsters. Fuck no and fuck off Jethro.
>>596527722 Why feel bad? Every parent's/grandparent's wish is to see their offspring succeed and surpass their own achievements. You should be happy you were finally able to beat her before she past- she waited around a long time for it...
>>596527771 So the hike ended and we headed back to the dorm. I don't know when she got back but it didn't matter took me the rest of the week to work up the courage to go to her door. But somehow I worked up that courage and knocked, luckily she was there, she did look surprised to see me. anyway I mentioned my offer and she invited me in. Just had to install Silverlight so she could watch Netflix, she didn't know how to work Chrome. but we traded numbers and began our friendship and the road to my ultimate heartbreak. So after a month or two I learn that she had a boyfriend that was almost 20 years her senior, naturally I disliked it but because I wanted to get with her I said I'd support her. to speed this up about three months into this friendship I realized I felt more than just the bonds of lust and friendship for her. after reading numerous feels threads I decided I had to tell her. So I told her, and she just laughed it off, but was glad I told her. said that friends shouldn't keep secrets like that. (if this 404's before I finish I'll start a new thread to finish story)
was great friends with my brother in law for many years. Best man at wedding. Helped eachother out with everything.
He had a bad breakup with his 9year relationship and rebounded onto heroin and meth. Got kicked out of house after house. He attempts suicide and his grandparents take him in.
Grandparents accuse him of stealing money and using again.
I get a phone call early hours of the morning from my father in law asking for me to let him live at my house.
Cleans up his act because I live in buttbuck nowhere and he can't get on.
Gets a shitty job and gov gives him money for disability. We buy a car for him. 6 months later Still going strong, quit smoking, no drugs and a job. We have our arguments and he begins to think I hate him.
He asks me to keep cash that he saved in my safe so he won't spend it (former gambling issues). Meets a new girl, she seems nice but a little weird. She wants to experiment with drugs.
She buys him heroin and shit.
I come home from work after night shift and have a convo with him, he just paid for 12 months car rego and is planning to travel interstate for the first time in years to see family, it's awesome news.
I wake up 4 hours later and find him on the floor, dead for 3 hours.
Heart attack and asphyxiation due to overdose of fentanyl.
He hadn't used it before. The fucking whore he met two weeks ago enabled his use again.
>>596528765 We end up becoming very close, closer than most of my old high school friends, I feel I can tell her anything. And in that privilege I reveal my true self. I can tell her my hopes, dreams, etc. So we hang out quite a lot, mostly at my behest, but we do. Eventually she breaks up with her boyfriend. I of course was elated at this information, maybe I had a chance. so I leapt on it. I asked her out. She had said no obviously. But me being the socially awkward person I am was training to become a free-runner so I continued to do that, angrily, I saw that she was walking off in the distance , not back to her dorm so I ran up to her asked her if she'd like some company, didn't say anything but stood still, looking at her feet, so we walked along the nearby creek, and we just talked about how we felt. I told her most of what I said before hand, how she makes me a better person etc. share with her some music that is special to me. since It was night I showed her Don McLean's Vincent, even though there were no stars out per se. eventually she asked if I wanted to hold her hand if it would make me feel better. I knew it wouldn't just make it worse so I refused it. All in all we decided we could keep going on, be friends see where this leads us. (should have mentioned that she had JUST broken up with her boyfriend, and I asked her the day before, this all took place a night later)
>Be me >Mom and dad work 2 jobs each >Parents leave me at grandma and grandpas till the weekends >Hardly ever see parents >Grandma is fairly old (like 60) >Grandma teaches me how to treat girls >Grandma takes me to school everyday because parents too busy >Grandma and grandpa raised me till i was about 8 >Grandma and i always had a close relationship >We would always talk about how I'm going to grow up and move our entire family back to Italy >Would paint ceramics of knights and castles >Grandma always asks if im going to build her a castle for us all to live in >Would promise her the world just to make her happy >Tell her im going to give her that castle someday >Fast forward 20 years >Get call while on spring break >"Nana isn't doing to well" >Rush home from break to the hospital where she's being held >Doctor says there's a brain tumor >She'll be lucky to make it through the week >4 days later she dies >My fucking Nana dies leaves me alone with nothing but her lessons >I miss you Nana Mfw i never did give her a castle
>>596530094 So time is ever moving foreword, she knows how I feel toward her and I don't hide it anymore. So Christmas time rolls around and she is in the college's choir. Now I am not a religious person but I went to support her. stayed the whole thing, and she was really glad I did. and I took her out to dinner after her performance, wouldn't let me pay her way this time, and I was still a little miffed that she had said no so I let her pay her way, against my better gentleman. So break was fast approaching (like I said I'm skipping a lot for you'ze guys convince) and I started to think that maybe It was no longer just a crush. I realized this because every time I thought about her I was laying in my bed until at least 3 in the morning. But one night I couldn't stand it, I felt as if I was going to burst so I went for a walk. It ended up being a spiritual journey of some sort. after an hour of solid walking through the snow I sat down and wrote a really stupid letter kind of thing. and for the first time ever I'm going to release this information:
>>596531022 here it is: Midnight, December 11, 2014, I sit behind my computer with a blanked stare as the light washes over me. Mindlessly searching the internet for something of sustenance to entertain me. My body full of caffeine from a botched LAN party, one in which to celebrate the end of a semester. I look out the window at the campus before me. Its sidewalks, a virtual city now practically deserted in the deep night. A great snow passed through earlier, leaving about 6in of snow on the ground. The snow’s wind blew this quantity of snow every which way, nearly blinding everyone walking in it. This raging storm calmed to a light flurry. The streetlamps illuminating the snow particles creating the illusion that it was not even night. I decide that this is the perfect time for a walk. As I put on my coat I remember an old post on 4chan I read. It was a similar tale to this, talking about how in walking you want to clear your mind, yet it’s too quiet for that to happen. I know of whom I will be thinking about on my walk. I had saved the post and re-read it maybe a dozen times before, never really understanding till now what this meant. 12:10, I finally put my coat on. Scarf and all, ready to brave the aftermath of this storm. I step outside, take a deep, mind clearing breath, and being my wander.
>>596531214 12:15, I reach the main stretch of road running through the campus, I debate whether to walk to my spot where I usually go to think. I decide walking until I wanted to stop was the best course of action. The snow was acting in the same way as that post I saw. It did not muffle my footsteps but just added a crunch to my walk, helping me focus on the task at hand. A light breeze blew some of the top, powdery layer of snow off the trees, making a rustling sound, it was soothing. As I walk down the nearly empty streets I notice something. There are only three sets of people walking this late at night. One is seasonal, large groups of kids, really college students but they act like young children, play in the snow. These are all good friends goofing off and enjoying life. The second are groups of two or three. Small bands walking back from an adventure, maybe small, but important nonetheless. Then there are the loners, like myself. In some I could see they were walking to their home, perhaps leaving early from a party. No one but themselves will truly know why they walk these loners. 12:25, I see a stranger, a woman, struggling with a large box. She seemed to have the box under control however, as she walked on it became more apparent that it was more than she could handle. I volunteered to help her carry it back to her dorm. Almost breaking it on the way but ended up making the trip fully intact. We chatted about nothing really, just usually introductions. She kept thanking me for helping. The only thought I had in my mind was “why is she thanking me so much?” we parted ways, never even knowing each other’s name.
>>596531307 12:30, I walk in the opposite direction, back tracking, but this time on the other side of the road. The streets even more deserted, more loners, more of the children playing, less of the small bands. I saw a woman, who look to be in her early 20’s walking, out of place. Eventually I started talking to her with, “lovely evening isn’t it?” she laughed and explain this was a little weird for her, seeing people play in the snow. She spoke in a foreign accent, one I could not place. She and I chatted a little, she was from Brazil and I local, and we decided that playing in the snow was a trait that you are born with. When we parted she introduced herself. Isabella was her name. I know we will never speak again, but Isabella will be forever in my thoughts. For in the 30 minutes of me watching people I was thinking of someone else. Though I was not consciously thinking of her, she is always in my mind, whether I want her there or not. Along this journey she came in spatters, my brain already planning on writing this down. Perhaps that is how my brain deals with these things, planning them to be written, and thinking of how they will go. But as I walked away from Isabella, memories upon memories flashed before my mind. Of all the girls I once liked. But one stood out among them all. I spoke for the first time in thirty minutes, “fuck, I love her.” 12:35, I turn around, deciding it was not time to head back yet, the night still too young. I wander back the way I came, determined to go the furthest than anyone else tonight. As I wander back I see the faces of people I already passed, still caught up in child-like playfulness. Yelling to their friends across the road, challenging them to throw the first snowball. They would never know what I just went through. To them I was just a person caught up in the season.
>>596531363 12:45, The streets are now dimly light, I am practically off campus. The snow up to my shins. But I am not cold. For there is a warmth I have not felt before. The tracks of people past have now vanished, just a bike trail. 12:55, I reach the end of this untraveled zone. The street before me is plowed. I ask myself, “is it time to head back?” I don’t want this to end, but I know it must. I turn around and begin my journey back. The memories still replaying in my head. A smile runs across my face the likes of which I have never done. This was just a smile of happiness, but a smile to end all smiles. As my brain was flooded with these feelings I never felt before, a sense of what it was came over me. 1:00, An hour has passed. An introspective hour the likes with which not too many do. Frederich Nietzsche would call this the metamorphosis into the superman. A man who knows himself, truly. I arrive back at my dorm. The snow has stopped falling. The streetlight still keeping the campus light up like it was never even deep night. I arrive back at my building. I stride through these doors a different man than when I set out. I get to my room, and find my roommate still sitting at his desk where I left him. Sitting in front of his computer screen, laughing to himself after hearing something comedic over the internet. And I sat down, as I predicted and started to write this down. With hands shaking I start to write this. The words flew through my head while I walked. Now as I try to put them to paper it doesn’t quite flow as nicely. Perhaps it’s the nature of these things. The ability to understand and the ability to write down are two different things.
>really want that new game for the xbox 1 >mom wont buy me it >dad wont buy me it >grandma wont buy me it >granpa is dead but still wont buy me it >brother wont buy me it >i dont have any money and if i did i still wouldnt buy me it >mfw i dont get my game >mfw this happens every week >mfw i only get 7/10 games i want
>>596525783 War is bullshit but that doesn't take away from the bravery and sacrifice of the men who fight and die. It doesn't matter if they die for a lie, not if they truly believed in what they were doing. That goes for both sides
>>596531432 Now there is more, but that is just for me, and maybe her if I can someday. So eventually she tells me why she had said no, because I was to controlling. Now she later refuted this but she is right. Do you guys believe that inside you there is a dark, evil man, one that you never let out because you hate him? that is mine, and this comes into play later in the story. She also tells me that it is because she doesn't want a relationship right now, which I can understand, but that controlling thing really sent me over the edge, so I sat alone in my room for hours, hating myself and everyone. Eventually I'm raised out of this funk by some very true friends of mine, the ones I'd say I love. Now break is upon us.... yay!!!!... expect for me, pining for the woman who cannot love me. when I expressed my sadness she said, "well at least I won't fall for anyone else." and as usual that just made it worse. So I decide that it's Christmas season! not time to wallow in self pity! least to everyone else. essentially that was how break went, just pretending to be happy.
>>596532345 now school starts up again, and she's the first person I want to see. She had gone up earlier because she got a job. but eventually she invited me down to a local smoothie shop to just hang out. course I said yes! and went down with her. so there we were for 2 hours. just chatting away the time. Now I am a gamer through and through and naturally I was talking shop, (might be mixing my chill sessions with her but whatever) and I know she didn't care, but she had that look of "i don't care about what you are talking about but I care that you are talking face." or at least that is what the dying romantic (worse than a hopeless romantic) in me wanted to see. but after he sister came by to pick her up I walked back to the campus of my own volition, I love walking /b/ clears the soul and mind. but this time I was humming "singing in the rain" I was... happy /b/, I thought that she was starting to love me back. I could not have been more wrong (is anyone still lurking?)
>>596533056 Now we come to this weekend /b/rothers. the weekend whereupon I died inside. I am rushing a fraternity on campus and I had just came out of the first rush even feeling really good about myself, so I invited her over to my room just to chat, the night was still young for me. She ended up coming over and I don't know how we got on the subject but I ended up Spilling all my spaghetti all over her. literally just handful after handful and she just sat there... I'm sorry it's getting harder to write this and I've been trying to forget this weekend but I will keep trying. since I am such a ham I kept saying stupid thing after stupid thing she ended up fleeing me at midnight. said she had to use the restroom, but I knew better. sent her a text the next morning saying I'd like to finish what I'd started. worst mistake of my life.
my grandfather was 83 years old, awesome grandfather, lived near the beach so id always spend summers with him and he would always have stories, was an amazing person to go to for help. He was supposed to be immortal, survived two quadruple bypasses, a couple minor heart attacks, a major stroke, colon cancer, and other shit but on sunday liver cancer got him. When i found out on thursday that he had days left i went to see him on saturday because i wanted to have one final conversation with him but his body was in such a failing shape, he couldo nly hear and make facial expressions and it was horrible, i cried for a half hour in the bathroom. I was supposed to call him on wednesday when i could have still talked to him but i didnt get around to it and now hes dead. it hasnt really set in yet and im dreading when it does on friday at the funeral. I just want to talk to him one last time and i cant and that last sentence really fucking hurt to type.
I posted this the other day, so for anyone who read this here's a follow up >be fwb with a girl into BDSM and edgeplay >we're pretty good friends >fall in love with her >she asks for gentle sex one day >kiss her and she blushes as we fuck >she starts crying and pushes me away, telling me she's not okay I talked to her for the first time in three days today. >she's cold, distant >not as excited to see me >won't tell me what's wrong >I know she's not interested and she never will be, and I'm just around for sex for her This was the nail in the fucking coffin. My father went to prison, my family hates me and my closest friend I've had since middle school cut me out of her life. I'm late to work, groggy, tired, not passionate about life... Should I just fucking kill myself? I've already tried twice.
>>596534435 Well the not so bad news is that my phone died today, and from the sounds of it, I won't get a replacement for another two weeks, which impairs me and me job. Lately though I've been falling into the same depression I had years ago. I realized that most people don't even like me for who or what I am, they only see me as a mean to their end. When I say that I can't do something for them, they spread rumors (even at work) and get frustrated. When I try to argue (which I'm not good at), they get so defensive they make me look like the asshole for bringing it up in the first place. It's a laundry list of shit and to sum it up, all I can really say is, "I'm sick of it".
>>596533886 So she invited me up. and the rest of the spaghetti came out as I predicted. but... this is where the man I hate came out. the one who feels that he is deserved something from this universe for helping every person he can in anyway they need. I almost made her cry /b/ I was doing what I promised myself I would never do, pressure her. Now I didn't pressure her into a relationship per se, but I am an advocate of if you haven't tried it can't say shit about it. so I wanted her to just give me a chance, and I kept saying that for at least an hour. "please give me a change," and she just looked down, obviously trying to find the right words to say no gracefully. We started talking at 11 AM ended at 4 PM at around 2 PM she told me she wanted to restart her day, and wanted to wake up anew. And I got off her bed and couldn't find the strength to stand, so I just sat on the floor, mumbling to myself.
>>596534984 Sick of the lies, sick of the dead ends I get from people, sick of people in general. When I try to hide in my room, or if something is wrong, people know. They act like they want to help, but when I finally spill the truth, they take as many steps back as possible. Due to finances also, I can't even afford an anti-depressant, let alone a fucking therapy session. I'm barely able to eat for the next two weeks and when people offer to help, I shun them, knowing they will only want more in return.
>>596534536 I have been telling my story, thanks >>596535089 Now my mind is so fucked up right now I'm jumping all over this conversation. but right before I sat down she kissed me, right on the lips, my first kiss. thought it was the best way to end it. But I couldn't so I did end up on the floor. by this point the controlling asshole was gone, he went away after she was on the brink of tears. my protective nature is to strong for him. But I have a question before I continue /b/ what is the worst feeling in the world?
>>596534967 Get revenge by being the man nobody ever expected you to be. You'll find other people and your right girl. Get the motivation to be the better person and they'll wish they had respected you then because they damn well will now. And never turn to crime like your father, that's not what he'd want. I spent half my son's life in the pen and he got himself killed because he tried to have the same life I did. Just become a good man, anon.
>>596510488 I work in oil/gas so tomorrow is probably our day of reckoning. Layoffs are coming and the sandniggers and ceo's just sit back smoking on Cubans while being blown by a 12 year old somewhere in there 30k square foot summer home.
>falling for cute girl >sneak in her window for the last week in a half every night >without failure >text her today, "is it okay to come over now" >"ofcourse ;)" >be there in 10 >"Okay :)" >10 minutes later >at her window >lights off, window closed >text her >no response >call her >instant busy >sat outside her window for 30 minutes crying >drove back home >don't know what happened
Thanks for the feels bros. I had to put my 15 year old husky down today. I loved that dog so damn much. He hated everyone in my family except me since he was a puppy. It's really true that when it rains it pours. Lost my gf because she cheated. My job is killing me mentally. I never see my family. My friends all abandoned me because im too busy working to hang out. Nobody calls or texts. It was just me and my dog. And now I'm alone. I want to die
>>596536031 >I'm sick of being alone >I'm sick of people saying, "They're here for me", and bailing when it goes sour >I'm sick of having to live paycheck to paycheck, only to know that I'm going nowhere >I'm sick of having to hide and mask all of my problems at work just so I'm not fired or having people steer clear of me >I'm sick of having to hide in my room, since it's the only place of solace I have left >I'm sick of saying, "I'm fine", even though it's the farthest from the truth >I'm sick of worrying about going to the hospital, knowing that I can't afford it >I'm sick of disappointing my parents >I'm sick of being a tool for others >I'm sick of being angry, alone, cold, distant, and abrasive, but it's the only thing I have left to defend myself >It's starting to seep into who I am, making me a cold individual >I'm sick of being looked at as a freak >I'm sick of not being able to cry >I'm sick of everything
>>596535898 the worst feeling is watching someone want to love you as much as you love them, but they can't "if it were a switch I would flick it" was her words. Like sharp razors into my heart was this phrase. Because I am a man of hope, I hope that by helping people they will never feel what I feel (just like those pictures, they are true /b/), feeling all alone. and that phrase left me bereft of all hope, hope that she and I could be happy together. She knew I could sit on her floor all day so she tried to get out her door, even said that she'd open it, but I yelled at her, saying I had to do it myself. it would be a symbolic gesture that I was ready to move on, but I wasn't ready yet. She had an idea, she gave me a bracelet, I'll post a pic plus time stamp of the day it happened, if you guys want. I had to tell my story to someone, and /b/ is always there for me. God, I can still smell her perfume on the bracelet. But that helps, allows me to put all the love I have for her into the metal of the bracelet. Kind of like gems in the Inheritance Cycle, allowing me to access it anytime I want. But I realized that I had to do something similar for her, so I gave her my favorite bow-tie, a silk crimson bow-tie. the one I wore to Prom, to graduation, the one I learned how to tie the bow-tie with, the one I got my college club to be official. and I gave it with a promise, that she would always be care for. Now I want this to be the end of the story, but today new events occurred I must tell.
people always ask why I laugh at rekt threads and get mad at dog/cat abuse
because even if you're the worst person in the world and no other human likes you they will be their happy when you get home and and be at your side no matter what everyday every second no matter what.
>>596536160 I moved to colorado springs here almost 5 years ago (in may) Couldn't find a job, reserves were empty was just evicted from my apt kept my dogs in my truck for as long as I could I realized they weren't happy and no one was helping or hiring. So I go to ASPCA because I think they can find them a better home. But they're too old for adoption 12 and 9 so the only option is to let them die of starvation or be euthanized. They wouldn't let me go with them to the back so I could stay with them to die. They died alone scared and with someone they never met before. Their bodies thrown in a mass grave because they wouldn't give me their bodies to go out somewhere and bury.
Moving to colorado has been nothing but pain and heartache.
>>596536962 I just dont know what to do anymore. All this has added up. I was having major migraines for days on end. Went to the hospital and they found a mass in my brain. Im 25 man. Im gonna fucking die alone. I keep telling myself to end it now but im too scared
>>596537347 Fuck, that's not how it is at the humane society I've been to. They're marked as seniors, but that's it. You can anonymously leave any animal(s) in a kennel through a door that's always open, even when the place is closed. That's awful.
>>596537594 Why die alone? Go out there and meet some girls (or guys) whatever makes you happy. Nows a better time than any make yourself happy for as long as you have left. Don't let rules and the way people think about you. To keep you from being you, be yourself and the right people will be there for you
>have a dog, KC, since i was 10 >KC has been with me through thick and thin >when someone pasted away, to when I broke up with my gf of 5 years, to when my parents divorced and I had to grow up alot faster then i would have liked >KC would always follow me and stay by my side >slept with me every night >Lift the blanket up (pic related) she would dash right under next to my legs >fuck best companion anyone could ever ask for >I could talk with her and just bounce my thoughts off of her, she would almost always bark or whimper whenever i would talk with her >when i felt like i had noone she was would always be there >I have to move for uni, better opportunity, better program >Visit home after a few months away >spend most of my time with her and playing with her >she would literally go ape shit when I left even for a few mins because she didnt know when I would come back home >barking and scratching the door like crazy >before i leave for summer I make her a promise >"I promise to take you away from this place so you can live the rest of your life with me" >dad would call, ask how im doing >Im good dad, hows KC >Shes fine, we had to move and we couldnt keep her, shes staying with a friend >ugh dad wtf >dad would call again >hows KC? >shes fine >months pass, go home for my birthday >noone is home. call dad >wheres KC? >ill talk to you when i get home im busy >dad gets home ask again. "Wheres KC" >Anon Kc died shortly after your last visit >World shattered >like a huge part of my life was just ripped away >I didnt know how to tell you anon. I figured this was easier since you were away >Im speechless. I leave the house and walk >like 10 seconds after leaving I sink to my knees and just start bawling >only thing passing through my mind was that I couldnt keep my promise >kept telling myself i was sorry I wasnt here
its only been a few months but fuck it still hurts, 21 now. Fuck i miss her.
pic related, KC and the blanket we slept under for so many years
I've lost the will of live, the joy of living. Now I just... exist.
I met a girl a year ago, we became a couple, she told me she loved me a lot, we made plans for the future... But it turns out she never loved me, she dumped me in order to be with someone else, and she cheated on me during the year we were together.
Truth to be told, I always thought there was something wrong with me. I've lost anyone who was entered my life, and I thought that love was my last hope.
I've always been there, but just... there, for everyone. Only having a value because of what I can do, not by just being me, only being important or appreciated because I'm needed, not by the virtue of being human, not because it's me, but because what can I do for them. Not even my family greets or put a faint smile when I get home, just my dog.
>>596537594 Go out and smell the roses no matter how much it hurts. Call your family and just tell them how much they mean to you. Think of how much of a wonderful life you gave your dog. If it's night for you, go and sit on you porch or something and look at the sky for a while. Read a book, go to the library and sit at a table that has someone there and try to strike up a conversation. If all else fails, we are still here to listen and talk.
>>596537163 She had been not ignoring me, but avoiding me since Saturday, and when I got the change to talk to her today I asked her about it. asked her where she wanted us to be. She replied, I told you, you just don't want to remember" I'm scared /b/, scared that I may have destroyed the most important relationship in my life. . . . It's just.... when I look into her eyes I see three futures. One in which I don't ever want to picture. another where we are together and one where she is alone. And the one where we are together makes me so happy and the other is bittersweet, because she is doing the same exact things that I see us doing, but without me at her side. but I have a sinking feeling that she wants this to be over, and I don't want any insight as to why, I'd like to hear if from her. . . . and that's all I got, the story goes ever onward, for now, but soon it may end. She was my impossible girl /b/, the one who saved me (for all you Dr. Who fans out there). So if you're one of the few looking for an end I'm sorry there is no end, not tonight at least, and hopefully there is no end, but I think she wants us to be done, and that is what is going to destroy me
>be me 33 now >only been good at 2 things in my life >fighting and tekken >all through high school boxed and beat people up >people feared me I was big and fast >I liked having that strength >I could fight 3 or 4 people at once and not get hit and really put the hurting on people >south paw, a lot of people didn't know how to react to someone switching up on em >wham fucking haymaker from the left >leave my girlfriend of 13 years >take dog with me she got us the day after my grandfather died >mad about dog >try not to love dog >love dog >get new girlfriend >pill head whore, gets robbed, beat up >she deserved it in retrospec >go down to get money back >take dog because dog loves to go for rides >get in a fight with 2 dudes >one has knife >fine no problem forget that i'm old >get hit a few times >only hurt my pride >dog gets out in scuffle >rottweiler >gets kicked limps for awhile >feels bad >dog gets better >leave pill head slut >get back with other girlfriend >she has new rottweiler to replace old rott >at first they get jealous of each other >break up bad rottweiler fight >dog bites my left hand by accident >they both see blood and wimper >they know i'm hurt >they never fight again >still can't use left hand to this day >can't make fist >take pups out for ice cream >guy tries to rob me >dogs fuck guy up >after cops get there dogs both come up and lick left hand >realize dogs telling me i never have to fight again
>>596537594 If you have a year, do whatever the fuck you've always wanted to do. I'm not saying you should kill anybody, but just do shit that you thought was stupid at the time but now's the last chance you have to do it. If death is imminent, don't resist - Bring it the fuck on.
Holy fuck you come across as some overbearing autist. No wonder she didn't want to date you. She never had any feelings for you. Ever. How she put up with your obsessive bullshit for so long amazes me. I feel bad for her.
Seriously, do her a favor, apologize, and move on. Jesus fuck. This whole thing is full of cringe.
>ever since I could remember growing up I had a cat named Jackson >he was born around the same time as I was, and my mom would tell me stories about how he always tried to sneak a few licks from my baby bottle. >he had always been very protective of me as I grew up >every night he would climb on the windowsill in my room and watch out the window >whenever I cried when I was little, he would always rush to where I was, and would usually attack anyone he perceived as a threat to me, namely my mom when she would scold me for doing something stupid >most cats would rub up against you, and Jackson did the same for the most part, but there was one thing me and him always did, I would bring my head down to his eye level, and he would always walk right up to me and give me a headbutt right on my forehead >it was our secret handshake >he always came when called, always was down to cuddle, he liked it when we would pick him up and place him on our shoulders, becoming a parrot cat. >he never cried or was ever a pain >everything was great, until we both turned around 16 years old >he was having problems, so we took him to the vet >vet said he had an enlarged heart and would be having a lot more problems down the road >I refused to believe that anything bad could ever happen to him >several weeks go by >he's been slowly deteriorating >eventually he was having issues even getting up >on that day my mom told me that we were going to have to put him down to prevent any further suffering.
>>596539278 I know it may seem that way but this is putting 7 months into a few posts. and trust me I know it seems cringe worthy, but I cut out a lot of good times she and I had, even skipped the part where she almost went away to China.
>>596539775 >I sat with him for several hours in our living room couch, dreading that 2 PM deadline with the vet. >every time when we would take the cats to the vet, we would have them in a cat carrier. >this time we didn't do that >I carried him to the passenger seat and held him, so he could see out the window >he has never been more than a few yards away from our house his entire life so I figured he could have one last look at the world outside on our way to the vet >he never budged, he just looked out the window as I pet him >We eventually get to the vet, and get placed in a room >as I continued to comfort him, I watched as they set up the drugs and placed the needle in him >I wanted them to stop, but all I could do was watch, as much as I wanted him to stay alive for just a few more days, I knew it would have been hell for him. >they started the injection, so I kept eye contact with Jackson the entire time, hoping that he would bounce back better than ever, that the drugs wouldn't be enough to take him down >but as I watched him, I could see the light in his eyes slowly fade to nothing. >I never forgot that moment, seeing him go >Seeing a family member go, that has been with me just as long as anyone else I ever knew >and while I've had ups and downs with family and friends, it was never like that with Jackson >We went back home, and I still held him closely in the blanket that we carried him in with >I got back to the living room couch and laid him on my lap still in the blanket >even after all that, I still hoped he would wake up and try to give me one last headbutt >but it didn't happen, he never woke >we buried him in our backyard, in the planterbox that he used to sleep in regularly.
>A couple years ago, I visited my aunt who worked at a vet > she told me about a kitten that was up for adoption. He was a grey tabby short hair, just like Jackson. >I adopted him, and named him J.J. which was short for Jack Jack, which was the nickname I always used when calling jackson. I'm 26 now, and J.J. is one fat and happy cat always demanding belly rubs from me.
Any other anon who's a lazy and unmotivated fucker that leads a depressive and lame life simply because he can't get himself to do what he feels he should be doing? Reading through all those stories made me feel really bad, since my problems are nothing compared to what most of the people here has gone through.
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