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HELP how do I make this happen?

The stories and information posted here are artistic works of fiction and falsehood.
Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact.

Thread replies: 294
Thread images: 47

HELP how do I make this happen?
>>
>>595028213
Do I ask if she wants to make this happen?
>>
Show dominance by slapping your face in her dick
>>
I felt like I had to respond with something
>>
Just reply saying "Can I come and give you cuddles then?"

Bite the bullet and get in there fag
>>
>>595028436
If I was in her presence yeah
>>
You dumb motherfucker! Just say "I'm coming over. If you need cuddles, they're coming from me!" And then go over. It's not hard
>>
>>595028773
Alpha up! Beta
>>
>>595028773
So respond now?
>>
"Tonight"

Just do it
>>
>>595028213
say "why spoon when we can fork"
>>
>>595028773
I'm obviously not good at this
>>
>>595028964
>>
>>595028213
Fuck dude

Just

Fucking tell her you're coming over

"Is now good?"
>>
>>595028878
As soon as I grab my snuggie
Be there in 30
There OP you're getting laid
You're welcome
>>
>>595028979
Ask her to cuddle your dick with her mouth.
>>
>>595029117
Lame. BETA
>>
>>595028678
fucking this
it's not even "taking the initiative" anymore with all those signals you're getting
>>
Bruh she's basically asking for a fork on the table. Deliver the goods and get your arse round to her house
>>
>>595029136
I'm bad at this. I have social anxiety but for some reason if feels easier to do now. I'm tryna embrace it but I still need a little help
>>
>>595028878
Ask if you can cum on her glasses, then you're set.
>>
>>595028213
what are you doing nigger
>>
>>595029339
Never use a question mark like that. State things as if it's affirmative and going to happen
>>
borderline retarded OP, she is obviously interested 100%, just say let's meet up and it's done
>>
Stop using question marks. When you want something, take it. Leaving off the question mark can make the difference. She can say no now, you asked her a question.
>>
Ask if she'd be down for some of the old cuddle struggle
>>
>>595029390
eck...abort
>>
>>595028213
If texting "im coming over to pound that pussy" doesnt get her wet then i'd give up
>>
>>595028213
Say "Yeah cuddles would be good, sadly Im a faggot and I cant offer you that. I need a dick."
>>
She obviously wants you OP just try to be less awkward. Just think WWCPD?
>>
'She'll never have to know'
>>595029390
It's better then what I'm getting now (nothing )
>>
OP is a faggot
>>
>>595029390
dat mole
>>
However, just to be safe, you should send a disclaimer that you only trade hugs for vaginal intercourse. I think that will seal the deal.
>>
"spoon fed" doesn't even begin to describe this
>>
>>595029339
>having social anxiety
>still scoring

OP confirmed alpha
>>
>>595029390
Can't be worse than a 2/10 probably a 5
>>
say I'll fuck you and your mom TONIGHT!
>>
She looks like a lard mammal
>>
>>595029527
"ASAP then, I'm going to make this happen."
be a fucking alpha op you homo
>>
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>>595029390
mimi/10
>>
Turn yourself in
>>
Just ask her to hang out this weekend. Friday.
>>
>>595029527
"you can come over here"
that is if you aren't a basement dweller, and can clean your anime figurines and cum sock up before she gets there
>>
Just ask her if she wants to go to the movies or dinner saturday
>>
>>595029117
with a question mark?
>>
>>595029743
"This weekend"
>Friday
Kill yourself, then obey the laws of the real weekend.
>>
>>595028558
oh wait what! OH GOD THATS STUPID STRAP IN FOLKS
>>
>>595029136
>Is now good?

Make it more dominant, girls don't like taking responsibility/making choices that'll make them look slutty.

Just say "I'm comming over now!"
>>
>>595029527
crash & burn dummy
>>
>>595029849
kek
>>
>>595029527
>mom won't let that

Ditch. Now.
>>
I can't into women and I know that. I know she's not the best looking but she's something. Thanks to all that are actually helping
>>
>>595029776
Mmm if I was the girl I'd want him to leave the cum sock;) I'd give me something to run my tongue over and toss myself off over while he shower his cum off my chest and face;3
>>
>>595028213
>literally nothing would make me happier
Is this a cringe thread?
>>
>>595028213

Its going to be funny in 2 days when OP Makes a new thread.

>CUDDLE BUDDY
> IT WAS LITERALLY JUST THAT!
>"Oh anon i just cant think of you that way your just too nice and sweet of a guy. You deserve better then me."
>BITCH WOULD NO LET ME DO ANYTHING TO HER
> OTHER THEN FUCKING CUDDLE AND MAKE ME LISTEN TO HOW SHE SUCKS OFF THE FOOTBALL TEAM!!!111
>>
She's trying to use her mum as a decoy to test how beta you are. What you need to do is go over there right now, ring the doorbell...when her mum answers it you need to quietly knock her out, lock her in the bathroom, enter the bedroom and do your business you beta faggot.
>>
>>595030003
hes going all out!
>>
>>595030003
>she'll won't have to know
my god did you graduate primary school?
>>
>>595030003
>she'll won't
She will will not
Nigga is you retarded.
>>
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>>595030003
desperate as fuck faggot
>>
>>595029527
OP confirmed 14 years old

>sage
>>
ill reply with something good if you say something decent.

I know I'm a faggot stop telling me that.
>>
>>595029527
underage detected
>>
>>595029849
Do you not go out on Friday nights? A night generally considered the weekend, especially after 5pm when most of us get off work? Or are you a basement dwelling neckbeard faggot? The latter? Thought so.
>>
Thread of the fucking year. Man up, call that bitch and tell her you know she needs a good fuck.
>>
>>595030315
"nice and warm" xD
>>
>>595030315
bruh don't be desperate
>>
>>595030315
>it's nice and warm in my house
You sound like a pedophile.
Oh shi-
MODS HALP
>>
>>595030315
Shes not gona go now with that response
>>
>>595030315
"Can i put my winky in your kitchen sinky?"

Just fuckin do it
>>
ASK HER OUT ON A DATE. THIS SATURDAY. Just say "do you want to do something saturday?" Don't fear rejection. She is obviously interested.
>>
>>595030003
OP what the Fuck you fucking rapist
>>
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>>595030315
"its nice and warm, my mom will bring us cookies."
>>
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>>595030315
did you know you're a faggot?
>>
>>595030315
Ugh op you gave me testicular tumors
Thanks.
>>
this is getting so bad. Just see if she wants to hangout this weekend OP. You'll be better off before you blow this.
>>
She clearly doesn't want your sub-beta dick judging by her lame excuses...back to pornhub and the cock sock with you shitlord
>>
>>595030003
>mama wont let me

That's something common for girls, had it happen numerous times where the girl "aborted" / "sabotaged" it at the highest point

99% of the time its just testing, and as i said, girls dont like looking like sluts, thats why they lure you into taking action so they can be all like "I didnt do anything, it just happened!"

Now op, keep on flirting, try escalating sexually but not in a retarded way, dont hide your intentions
>>
>>595030315
Man you sound like a rapist.

Totally cool if you are though;) I'd let you fuck me all night
>>
>>
I'm getting a creepy vibe from you OP. This is turning into an unsolved mysteries episode.
>>
>>595030412
>>595030412
damage control
>>
>>595030595
I just cut mine out. You got any Marijuanas I could inject for the pain?
>>
>>595030315
>I know I'm a faggot stop telling me that.
Your super autism is showing. My god you're beta. Just ask her out and quit being so desperate. Ask for her number and tell her you'll make plans with her on Friday. You're welcome.
>>
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>>595030315
OP I'm you. And I'm doing the same thing with Tinder right now. Bunch of girls moaning about how they want someone with me moaning back at them. TFW when you're a born beta.
>>
Fine I'll just abort you faggots
>>
ASK
>>
>>595030516
She's clearly as desperate as he is.
>>
Too strong, lay off a little OP. Just say "Well just let me know when you're available and Ill see if I can make it happen." Don't message her for at least another 3 days.
>>
inb4 news article reads
>Amy "x" found brutally raped and murderer in ditch outside of Wyoming, "x".
>>
>>595030874
Is she a fucking dog or something?
>>
DATE
>>
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>>595030315
>>
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If you send her one more text suggesting that you'll act as chaperone and general slave for some hugs then you'll be burying this whole scenario 6 feet deep in the ground you autistic beta faggot shitlord...

...but that's none of my business though
>>
>>595029390
why does she have a hash piece stuck to her lips?
>>
>ill drive to you

Jesus christ

Lucky for her you aint a fucking serial killer

It would be so easy aswell if you were

Actually fuck it kill her if you want to swear to god you could get away with it
>>
>>595030874
she don't want none man, beating a dead horse
>>
>>595030815
This
>>
>>595030315
You're doing great, bro. Keep it up!
>>
>>595030933
Nope, just american
>MUH FREEDOM
>>
>>595030925
This
>>
>>595030933
Roll
>>
>>595030933
Yes. A bitch, obviously.
>>
>>595030933
kek
>>
>>595030815
>ask for her number
Oh shit you are actually fucking stupid aren't you.
>>
>>595030315

I kek'd.
>>
OP, why can't you just ask her out on a date for this weekend?
>>
>>595030874

"What if i sneak in?"
>>
>>
>>595030771
deflection
>>
>>595029776
>cum sock
>memories of being underage ban
>>
>>595030815
do it already
>>
"Do you want to do something saturday" type it now, faggot.
>>
>>595031169
cuz he wanna fuck NOW
>>
>>595030412
You can't call a Friday the fucking weekend you goddamn Jewish fucking furry.
>>
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>>595030815
>BUT WHO WAS PHONE
>>
>>595031219

"Listen. I got 2 other girls wanting to chill tonight. If you're not down. I'm out."
>>
>>595031280
Just type it
>>
>>595031219
might as well stop posting faggot
>>
natural selection
>>
gg you blew a sure score nice
>>
>>595031280
YES
>>
lol she unmatched me. I guess I did come off too strong. I normally don't do this shit.
>>
>>595031280
DO IT!!!!
>>
>>595031219
All jokes aside, straight up tell her you know she needs a good fuck and bring up the idea of friends with benefits. Fuck a date, not to be mean but cmon the bitch has a piece of hash on her lip.
>>
>>595031219
Nooo small talk. See if she's free another time goddamn it.
>>
>>595031519
Maybe even I'm not that much of a loser. Feels good man.
>>
>>595031629
kek
>>
>>595031219
"come cuddle wit dis dick fgt bitch stop being such a pussy pls respon"
>>
>>595030553
Since we're quoting little nicky, how about
"put it in your mouth and let the meat slide down your throat hole"
>>
>>595031219
>Wanna fuck?
>Maybe
>Tonight?
>Nah mah, my moms wont let me out
>I'll steal you away,in my car
>No
>Gee was it cold today
Tl;dr OP was cockblocked by mah
10/10 effort OP
>>
Listen yo, you want to fuck or not?
>>
>>595031629
Lol'd
>>
holy hell OP how did you manage to fuck this up
>>
>>595031629
Nice. I got another match but she's kinda fat. Shout I try?
>>
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>>595031519
How the fuck did you fuck that up? You were so in there.
>>
>>595031219
How the fuck do you even have a job
>>
>>595030874
End with a comment like "Damn now im gonna freeze" or some shit. Play it off

or

say something like "We were both gonna be so snug, now i'll be cold"
>>
>>595031857
no, die in a fire you retard
>>
>>595031519

Holy fuck this will go down in the annals of 4chan history as the day that OP the shitlord autist failed to get a 0.5/10 who was basically asking him to fook
>>
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>>595028213
>>
Ok listen, you are a 2/10 and I am a 8/10, this is your only change to get laid by a fedora gentleman. take it or leave it.
>>
>>595031857
Do it
>>
>>595031219

should i rush in to your house? or should i go sneaky beaky like?
>>
>>595032017
roll
>>
I only said that because I just got a new heater and it's fucking awesome and I've been vaping this whole time. I'm so unaware when girls are interested.
>>
This chick is a massive cunt fuck with her if you want. 4047299920 Sam sent you.
>>
Too strong? You could just as well have told her you'd bring your suitcase of dildos and hijack a police car to pick her up. You sound like she's the first female to ever respond.
>>
PATHETIC
>>
This thread man.
>>
>>595032169
sending her dick pics and dead dogs.
>>
>cuddles
OP is confirmed Beta fag
>>
10/10 thread. OP 11/10 faggot.
>>
>>595030003
>she'll won't have to know
nobody's going to fuck an idiot like you OP
>>
New girl
>>
What service is this OP?
>>
>>595032204
kek

This kid has the subtlety of an anvil being dropped from a plane
>>
>>595032017
reroll
>>
>>595031219
crash and fucking burn
>>
>>595032452
tinder
>>
>>595032430
Show us her face nigga
>>
>>595031968
>annals of 4chan history
Nice.
>>
Quit saying gay shit go get her high and horny smash that and leave . Smoke a cig . Pray to satan then go to sleep.
>>
>>595032522
rar
>>
Am i seriously think that most ya'll cunts come off way to fucking direct?
Too many chicks dilibratly put dickheads in the friendzone because they make to too obvious they wanna root

Unless they are way physically attracted you might have to try a more emotional like game on em
>>
>>595032430
pic or gtfo. Knowing you OP, you probably just downgraded
>>
>>595032430

LOL

Different girl same pickup lines

>Cold Weather
>Hey grill, how about this snow eh?
>Cold eh?


Oooooh, this gon be good
>>
>>595032430

"Hey baby, I noticed you noticing me; so, I just want to put you on notice that I noticed you too."
>>
>>595032430

"Hey girl, you look so good, I'd marry your brother just to get in your family."
>>
>>595032522
>>595032688
winrar
>>
>>595032430
>weather based pickup lines
this is better than my tv series
>>
Lurking so hard to watch OP force himself further into beta wizard history books
>>
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>>595032789
winrar
>>
Just fuckin say "You are now my cuddle buddy. Come over now." Just fuckin say it op, stop trusting the other virgin nerds.
>>
>>595032714
Dude we just had a 18 inch blizzard. Also have you all not read that I said I can't talk to women. I fucked this up because I have no idea what to say. I get that. What should I have done differently?
>>
>>595031857
>>595032688
Yup
>>
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This thread is the best thing that happened to me today.
>>
>>595028213
How could you fuck that up?
>>
>>595032789
I think I want to try this for the lols

Not OP but someone else, give me shitty, but hilarious, key word hilarious, pickup lines to troll with. That's all I do on these apps anyways (it's funny when it has a ~~30% success rate too)
>>
>>595030003
>women

You mean 14 year old girls. OP do your homework and get ready for bed, you have school tomorrow
>>
>>595033131
Asked her on a date. Like a man.
>>
>>595032714
His lines ain't the best but ain't the worst. He uses them enough it'll eventually work
>>
>>595033222
not as good as your dub-trips though
>>
>>595033131

What you should have said is:

Hey grill, forget about this 18 inch blizzard, and get ready for my 0.18 inch cock
>>
Dubs says you go straight in and demand nudes
>>
>>595030574
IT'S COOL GUY!
>>
>>595032430
"hey baby this snow is knee deep but its not as deep as i was in ur mum last night"
>>
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>>595033505
do this
>>
>>595033422
can't be mad at a dude for trying.
>>
I'm doing what I can? This is so over, but funny.
>>
>>595033122
This

Fuck im stealing this lad
>>
>>595031219
Tell her you're gonna fuck her mom, faggot
>>
>>595033327
Whatever you say man I don't go to school anymore.
>>595033378
How do I word it?
>>
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>>595033833
"Want to go on a date?"
Jesus fucking christ man
>>
>>595029390
damn, i must be desperate cuz she looks kinda cute to meeee
>>
>>595033666
Should I make a thread next time I get a match? I'm glad you all find it funny.
>>
Say 'Gee whiz, what's a purdeh girl like you doing in a place like this?'
>>
>>595033980
isn't it a little bit too wordy?
>>
>>595033833
right after she said she couldn't hang out tonight.

"Alright, well let's do something on Saturday." And when she says what? "I'll take you out to dinner."
>>
damn nigga
>>
>>595030003
Quit being to clingy, like it needs to happen RIGHT NOW. Just chill and do it another night, she's obviously interested.
>>
>>595033505
Anyone got pics of convos where this shit actually works, seriously?

Sounds like some dumb ass shit that'll either get her a chuckle or blocked instantly?
>>
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>>595033666
>33666
>>
>>595034188
words are wordy
>>
>>595033833
you don't go to school, but your girl can't go outside because her mom is forbidding her?
>op may be predator
>>
>>595032430

>I'm doing what I can

Very engaging 11/10 very insightful 8/8 -IGN

Fantastic, outstanding, round of applause for OP the faggot.
>>
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>>595034149
probably
>>
>>595034332

Is this OP replying to me?
>>
>>
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When a girl replies with "really?"

Say "It's true. oh, it's damn true"
>>
>>595034332
why would you be with a girl with no sense of humour. how can I surprise pooper puncture her then.
>>
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>>595033222

Dayum.
>>
>>595034188
Or put it this way:

"Hey, you wanna go grab a drink this weekend, I know this place at the mall which has good milkshakes."

It's light and perfect for a first impression. Nothing expensive and still nice to get to know her.
>>
>>595033833
>I don't go to school anymore.

Then why are you trying to hook up with underage girls that aren't even mature enough to leave the house without the permission of their mom?

Even if she was 18+, that's a huge red flag. Dude her picture is a huge red flag too.

I know you're a beta with no experience with women but try and at least THINK about who you're trying to fuck. Have some self respect and stop being so fucking thirsty. The harder you try the harder it gets.
>>
>>595034622

>come time


OP is finally getting it. Subconscious sexualisation.
>>
>>595032430
"Doing what I can"
OP confirmed masturbating
>>
>>595034622
A beta trying to do something apha is kinda fun to watch, continue OP
>>
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>>595034622
come*
>>
>>595034257
Alright so it was trying to hard to do it now is what ruined it? Thanks for quality advice bro.
>>
>>595034622
>>
>>595034622
dude wtf is this for a cringy answer dam
>>
>>595034622
>those stubby fingers
>>
This threaD gona prune soon dayyyyummmm
>>
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>>595034622
let us now wait for a reply
>>
>>595034400
If you knew how to read you'd know it's very hazardous conditions outside. 18in of snow
>>
>>595034619
Not op, got my own social issues and i build my skills off a collective experience i gather.

Wasn't untill grade 12 i decided to break beta. That was 2 years ago and i'm still building myself
>>
>>595035132
ya, because everyone lives where you do and knows where that is
>MURICA
>>
Nothing turns a girl on more than small talk about the weather
>>
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QUICK OP MAKE A NEW THREAD I WANT TO FOLLOW THIS
>>
>>595035178

Ok, well then in NO way is this seriously a way of getting girls to be interested, unless you know them already and have shared jokes.

Think about it you shitlord.
>>
>>595034762
no, everyone gets a chance to fuck up once, let him have it.

learning experience and all
>>
You need to expose something more than a concern for the weather. When she says you?, she doesn't necessarily mean the weather, she's wondering what you're up to and who you are. Which could be a great thing to show off before asking her on a date.
>>
>>595035348
Fruck rea
>>
>>
>>595034762
This Anon is Samuel L. Jackson
>>
>>595035626
what a whore
>>
>>595035626
Now show us a pic, I'm worried about this one
>>
>>595035132
>>595031219
>Yeah I didn't go to work
>>
>>595035701
i loled so fucking hard
>>
pic required
>>
And just when I thought /b/ sucked tonight...
>>
>>595035626

Holy shit.

OP you have another chance, assert your alpha dominance and tell her that you're meeting for a coffee in 30 mins...don't ask her, just tell her you're meeting her.

Don't fuck this up
>>
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>>595035826
>>
>>595035626
Good job OP, now suggest this weekend and either meet her there or pick her up. And post a pic of her.
>>
>>595035701
Ha
>>
>>595035626
confirmed thirsty like you
>>
>>595035902
this guy is about to blow his load
>>
>>595035626
post pics
>>
>>595035936
Freedom boner!
>>
>>595035626
See how easy that was OP? Good job man.
>>
>>
>>595035626
>telling everyone on these apps I'm dying
>why
>because OP is a hilarious faggot
>>
>>595035390
Nah thats obvious enough, just you hear all the shitty success stories and people give you all those kind of answers. Was just wondering if that actually fucking worked

Probably the biggest thing i've learnt is if you go too hard they'll try keep ya to the side.
>>
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>>595032688
>>595035626
>>595035701

It's all making so much sense now...
>>
>>595035626
>I would love that :)
landwhale confirmed
>>
>>595029702
>>595029702
YES! lol
Thats all I could say when I seen this lol
>>
Yes I'll admit she's fat and is probably a 5/10 but it's better then nothing. Everyone starts somewhere
>inb4 what a faggot
>>
>>595035995
Yeah, thirsty for coffee.
>I got on my computer because my phone wasn't posting and i thought that was really funny and i rushed so no one else could post it first
i'm fucking retarded.
>>
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>>595036442
>>
>>>>>595036463
>>
>>595035626
gg well played
>>
I start all my convos with "k"
Works 90% of the time
>>
Where do you live OP? What time zone? Might be late for an instadate but I would try and confirm one ASAP. For this weekend.
>>
>>595036442
Yeah if you're starting out man its like training wheels. Don't fucking say if you had to use em but at least you're learning

Still better than being a 24 yo shitlord with a pocket pussy
>>
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>>595036442
Im not gonna call you a faggot OP. Thats too nice, you don't deserve to be called that.
>>
>>595036767
long island and it's 9:12 PM
>>
>>595036670
I start with "pls respond."
>>
>>595036101
now just tell her you love her and you're in there like swimwear.
>>
>>595036919
success rate?
>>
>>595033727
Lol it's nice to be appreciated
>>
>>595036788
dubs speak.
>>
Somebody get this guy a weather girl
>>
You went to work this morning and her mom won't let her leave the house? What are you, a 20 year old trying to pick up a 13 year old?
>>
>>595028213
I want to have kids with this thread
>>
>>595035701
I'm fucking crying
>>
>>595032482
i laughed hard at that metaphor
>>
>>595029614
Confirmed for OP, everyone knows you're a massive fucking faggot.
>>
>>595036670
How do you follow up?
>>
>>595037134
Not good.
>>
lol there is another post from the girl OP is asking out right now, its this one.>>595036538
>>
New thread


>>595036463
>>
>>595037326
No I couldn't because of the blizzard and her mom won't let her out because oof the conditions. What don't you understand about that
>>
>>595028213
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHUALlAvnUc
>>
Surprise dick pic, works everytime OP
>>
>>595028213
Cuddle buddy is code for "friend zone"
It's too late, I'd recommend immediately saying you don't plan on just cuddling, if you want sechs, it's time for a hail mary.
>>
The flow of the album is so fucking great
Still venerate Girl'O'clock
>>
>>595037616
depends on their response.
they typically go "??"
If I'm feeling really lucky the convo goes like this:
"next comes l"
"m"
"o"
"fuck op dont you know your alphabet?"
"oh dang! I guess not! But I'm really good at sex!"
so far 3/10 lol
online dating is a numbers game

either way "k" just starts the convo and gets dumb bitches interested
>>
>>595028213
Send a picture of your cock and say it's cold and needs to burrow in her warm cave, then jack off on her picture and take a photo of it and send it to her. Then one of you licking your own jizz off her face.

That'll her her wetter than horse in a glue factory. Guaranteed.

Post results.
>>
>>595037692
You completely missed the salient points of my post: So you're 20, and she's 13. Check. You're not only a virgin, you're a moron and a child predator.
>>
You are a moron OP, none of these girls will ever give you shit. You are not in anywhere, Have fun cuddling and drinking coffee cause that is exactly all that will happen. Idiot! You're not even good enough to be called a fag, a fag would at least have a chance.
>>
>>595035626
sick.
>>
>>595030089
>my sides
Thread posts: 294
Thread images: 47


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